Zoogz Vs. the British (fwd)

[Rev. Ivan Stang]

>>From moamosan Sat Jun 1 22:34:43 1996
>Date: Sun, 02 Jun 96 07:34:15 0900
>From: Zoogz Rift--The Liquid Moamo <moam...@primenet.com> Organization:
King Of The Pacific
>MIME-Version: 1.0
>Newsgroups:
alt.surrealism,alt.fan.zoogz-rift,alt.slack,rec.sport.pro-wrestling To:
tsau...@saonet.ucla.edu, moam...@primenet.com, gun...@bga.com Subject:
Re: Surrealist Music
>X-URL: news:121281...@congress.demon.co.uk

>stephen allcroft <ste...@congress.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>>In article: <4oj11m$q...@nnrp1.news.primenet.com> Zoogz Rift--The Liquid
[whatever liquid he's is I doubt he's drinkable] ejaculated:

>>>Open your fucking EYES. Lift a fucking FINGER. Go back to SLEEP.

>><sarcasm>

>><!we're letting those damn Americans see the coding for sarcasm beacuse
otherwise they fail to understand it, like irony or jokes or anything that
wasn't invented there.>

>>Oh! Of course, you must be the mighty prophet of all that is surreal.

>First of all, I don't know why I would even bother to answer some stupid
post that was written with a British accent, but I'm in a good mood today
and will indulge you this one time.

>>After all, you spend your spare time on IRC going on about Wrestling
which is, as we know, the USA's supreme contribution to surrealist drama.

>And what's yours---Benny Hill???

>Wrestling is an intelligent man's sport, which is why nobody in England
gets it. You're too busy with your scones and bowlers and tea and
crumpets.

>>Ireland produced Beckett,

>Sam Beckett couldn't write a play on his best drunken night. That sissy
thought that sticking a microphone on a scrap heap was ART, and that
Waiting For Godot was some Shakespearian masterpiece. I've seen more
avant-garde DRAMA from Beavis & Butt-Head!

>>France produced Genet,

>France---need I say more? At least Francis Picabia knew how to speak
English! Andre Breton was the dumbest buffoon to write a line of poetry.

>>Hungary
>>produced Ionesco

>One of my ex-drummers was Hungarian, so I won't complain about them. They
also have a saying I like, which, translated into English, reads "The lazy
tires twice as much." I like that.

>>and the USA collectively came up with WWF.

>Some credit there should go to the Irish, I would think! ;)

>But there you go attacking pro wrestling again, you dumb, shrivelled up,
scone-sucking LITTLE BEN!

>>Obviously, your deep insight into the human condition of men with
inferiority complexes and masks trying to tear at each others genitals in
a boxing wring must make you Breton's spiritual heir and the arbiter of
all things surreal.

>FUCK the human condition.
>FUCK people's genitals.
>FUCK ANDRE BRETON, THE MOST BORING IDIOT ON EARTH, and FUCK SURREALISM.

>SURREALISM IS STUPID. It doesn't even make any sense!!! (except to the
British, of course...ha ha...)

>>I'm sorry we have so insulted you

>Well, at least you have enough class to apologize. By the way, Hulk Hogan
could have kicked Winston Churchill's ASS! Uh, I mean ARSE. I forgot that
you limeys don't even speak good English know to how. Pip pip, cheerio,
and FUCK YOU! HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!!!!!!!

>>by not discussing the last bout
>>between mighty lemon cup cake and the great corn dog

>I think you know where you can put that corn dog, David Bowie...

>>in terms of the
>>revolutionary consciousness shift you got when the great corn dog's
codpeice came off and there wasn't a gigantic snack on a stick where his
wedding tackle should have been.

>Hell, even Viv Stanshall could've whupped YOUR sorry butt!

>>You must be more surreal than us. You appreciate WWF, we like art,
poetry and music.

>I rest my case. Any brainless monkey can create art, most poetry is
boring masturbation, and music, by it's original definition, doesn't even
exist anymore. At least in wrestling, we get to watch people get maimed,
crippled, and devistated!

>>Some of us see these as an engine for revolutionary change in the
individual and society.

>LOL---what a crock of holy horseshit! What do you do--sit in the dark in
a closet with a flashlight and jerk off to Richard Huelsenbeck and Alfred
Jarry? "You're dumber than the dumbest jackass!" --Walter Huston, THE
TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE

>>You like watching costumed men
>>cuddling and rolling around a canvas for an hour or so.

>No. Wrong. I like watching costumed men BEAT THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF EACH
OTHER, breaking each other's bones, cutting their skin, setting each other
on fire, torturing and humiliating each other, making each other cry in
defeat, etc.

>Kind of like what I'm doing to YOU right now! :)

>P.S. did I mention---BLIMEY! JOLLY GOOD SHOW!

>>Again my apologies for wasting your time,

>Just send cash. None of that fake "pound and shilling" crap, either,
Arthur Treacher. I want GOOD, SOLID AMERICAN DOLLARS.

>>if we had not have been here, you
>>could have spent some minutes cataloguing your hard video cassettes of
the invincible hairy dundee cake encountering jean-paul the perfumed
sailor in front of 45,765 grannies on hrt at shea stadium.

>Now THERE'S surrealism! :P You're right--that was spoken just like
Ionesco would have said it. (sigh) Very dreamlike...ha ha...

>>Instead you
>>had to waste a whole hour having to learn how to use someone's web
browser to post a badly written-badly spelled insult. </sarcasm>

>Well, nyah nyah nyah to you too. Your mother wears army boots! So there!

>I knew we should have attacked England when we had the chance, at the end
of WWII ! We could have turned it into a garbage dump, and then
Philadelphia would be a cleaner city, today! :)

>>PS I'm emailing this to you as well even though you don't have a
sufficent attention span to comprehend sentence with modifiers or sub
clauses.

>>--
>>Stephen Allcroft

>What kind of wussy, effeminate name is STEPHEN? You should change your
name to BILL or BOB or JOHN---something less offensive. Maybe everybody
wouldn't hate you as much.

>Just trying to help.

>--ZRTLM
>http://www.rlabs.com/zoogz/index.htm
>mailto:<moam...@primenet.com>
>news:alt.fan.zoogz-rift
>IRC: #wrestling

--
Copyright 1996 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://sunsite.unc.edu/subgenius -- SubSITE of Slack