I looked up teslacoil's name to see what came up, as a recent post
mentiond him in the title, and, until today,  I haven't taken the time
to really read anything he's written yet. This came up and it got me to
thinking.

Wait, wait...I found this oral sex cancer idea really interesting....

Going with the idea that eating semen causes cancer...well, if it's
such a carcinogen...

Then EVERY SINGLE MAN would end up getting testicular cancer well
before middle age, since they constantly have some stored in their
bodies. If a mouthful, (let's say) every other day or so in someone's
stomach is dangerous, then this substance laying around constantly in
one's crotch would be absolutely DEADLY.

Duh.

Hateful loons don't have much logical thinking skills, do they? It only
takes a few seconds of using your big, homo-sapien brains, folks...

And this reminds me of another myth, that I heard from a Catholic kid
summer 04 who ABSOLUTELY believed the entire thing: masturbation
leading to blindness. The fact that someone was still alive today who
went to public school, lived in the US, and had an average-seeming IQ,
still THOUGHT that-!!-completely shocked me. I stared at him, open
mouthed and not knowing what sound to make that would be socially
polite. I had more faith in people of my generation than that, and here
he comes along, disproving every good sense of the progression of
humanity that I had...
I mean come ON, I don't even have to explain this one. If masturbation
made people blind...(first off, everyone would need a seeing eye dog),
there'd have to be a direct connection between the optical nerve to the
afferent nerves in the genitals. Which there isn't. Or orgasm would
have to have noticeable affects on the eyeball, in general. Which it
doesn't, except for changing the dilation of the pupil-which also
changes with changing light conditions. Walking from the dark bedroom
to the lit hallway would also make you blind.
How can a modern teenage kid, raised with sex ed and the INTERNET,
actually believe that?

Where the hell did that idea come from, anyway? I'd love to know what
crazy priest first started telling that whopper...

Oh, how can people be so dumb in this, the year of the Future, Two
Thousand and Six?

Why does everybody have to be stupid? I know none of the intelligent
subgenii who read this find these logical arguments suprising or
neccesary...but...love_will_be_here_soon, and other people with these
sorts of beliefs, seem incapable of understanding how incredibly simple
and common-sense the arguments against their beliefs are.

And there are thousands of people who think like this! It's scary! And
they reproduce ALOT at a time!

There are countless other ridiculous religious myths in this vein. And
it's just heart-breaking that so many people keep on believing them,
even after logical alternatives or arguments are shoved in their face.
Will they EVER learn?

When will everybody become agnostics/atheists/unitarians, already??
Will that ever happen?

Makes me think that strongly religious people are inherently stupid,
which is a really mean thought....and that maybe humanity will never
progress, if it's truly incapable of shedding religious thinking (which
I used to believe it would get rid of someday....someday, I hoped in my
generation...)

We're all just bible-clinging, shaman-craving monkeys, and the atheists
among us still cling to politics and pop culture.

I feel outnumbered, and awfully elitist about the fact that I want so
badly to yell at them-in face, not online-

HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUPID?

-An Angsty, Wannabe Idealist Subgenius Under Legal Age,
Reverend/Priestess Baz Otherwise of "Bob"s Youth Organization.

In article <1138577948.261417.176...@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>,

EH? EH? ((Cups hand to ear)) Young lady? Could you speak up? I'm a bit
deef.

What you and your friend haven't discussed is, HOW MUCH masturbation.

I remembers when I was your age (well, a freshman in college anyway)
and had my first actual real ARGUMENT about RELIGION with my college
roomate, who happened to be a standard run-of-the-mill Babptist from a
real small town, with a real small education.

The guy never spoke to me again after this argument. For my part, it
was my biggest real-life lesson about the NATURE of true faith and
religion.

Intelligence has nothing at all to do with it. It's all emotional. The
ego beats out the rational mind, no matter the education or experiences
involved.

For many people, letting go of any superstition jeopardizes ALL their
superstitions, and since they have so many people who share their
general delusion, why should they, for instance, start masturbating?

Imagine how much fear it would take to override simple JACKING OFF.

Half of them ALREADY need glasses so what are they worried about.

But at least they don't masturbate.

A fraction of them probably will.

NOT IF THE SLACK SQUADS OF THE YOUTH ORGANIZATION OF J.R. "BOB" DOBBS
CAN HELP IT! The disbelievers MUST believe -- EVEN IF IT KILLS THEM.

You'll find that pretty much every generation has a whole lot of people
who think that way. A month or two into their first job generally is
enough to scour away any such hopes.

I felt EXACTLY like you do. But by the time I was 26 (and suddenly a
dad) I had realized that the situation was actually far more DIRE than
I had previously dreamed. It looked to me like Logan's Brave New 1984
Planet of the Road Warriors was the BEST-CASE SCENARIO, and the worst
case was the end of all Earth scenarios.

So what I did, I went to work for J.R. "Bob" Dobbs WITHOUT PAY, between
day-jobs (and hand-jobs) and went without sleep many a night, working
very hard on an anti-business business, an anti-art art project and
above all an anti-religion religion.

Having that outlet (and having such a fine view of the
human-consciousness test tube experiments involved) made me feel much
much better about how stupid everyone was. It hasn't made anyone less
stupid; in fact, half the time it's just another excuse for
half-assholes to become TOTAL assholes. It just helped me to ACCEPT the
various KINDS of stupidity -- INCLUDING MY OWN!

Once you start getting a better handle on the depths of your own
dumbassedness, you'll find that that of others doesn't bother you so
much. You have your own project to work on, and you become far less
concerned about Them.

We all have our own unique  stupidities, and since you can't fix those
of The Others, why not whittle away at your own. It's much more
rewarding, in that every now and then, you'll get results, which
doesn't happen if you concentrate on others' stupidity.

You will never defeat The Conspiracy of The Normals, but you can make
YOURSELF STRONGER. The Others? Most of them are basket cases. Almost
literally. Write 'em off. Set your sights straight ahead (well, YOUR
version of straight ahead) and PLOW ON THROUGH THEM.

I just hope I'm not one of the Them standing in your way. If so, it
won't be deliberate. The stupid people are never deliberately stupid.
They just want constant reassurance that everything they already know
is true, and that they already know everything worth knowing. That's
the constant self-reassurance you're gonna have to try to AVOID. It's
tougher than it looks. As Dr. Hal pointed out, one's self-image is like
the Happy Clown Boxing Balloon with sand in its base, so that when it's
punched, no matter how hard, it ALWAYS comes bouncing back upright,
still grinning.

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected,   Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)    
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118  (fax 216-320-9528)  
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com        PRABOB

On Mon, 30 Jan 2006 09:52:38 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang"

That has been much on my mind lately.  Probably as a result of seeing
somebody say something really stupid on Usenet, I had the epiphany hit
me that Mr. Spock, on Star Trek, was RIGHT.

People can think logically, but most people don't seem able to
differentiate well between thinking logically and letting their
emotions tell them what's right and wrong.  And emotional responses to
ideas are pretty random.  You see it on usenet often enough that
somebody hotly defends some idea which he/she would probably never
have thought much about, just because somebody disagreed with them in
a way that pissed them off.

I think ego does figure largely into it in another way too.  Most
people associate an idea with a KIND OF person.  Marijuana is one of
my favorite examples of this ... there is no real rational, logical
reason for it to be illegal.  But people don't think of it logically,
they think that only a certain KIND of person uses MJ.  A DRUG USER.
And they don't think of themselves as being that KIND of person, so
they are against it.

A lot of the stupidity of society runs on this, people accepting one
social role or another as defining who they are.

I bought some clothes a while ago that were a little different.  I am
still getting used to how strangely some people react to that.  But I
shouldn't, clothes tell people what TYPE you are.  You can wear a
T-shirt, then you're a t-shirt TYPE.  Or a polo shirt.  Polo shirt
types are up a bit from t-shirt types.  Or, if you are really bold, a
button-down business shirt.  That's up from the polo shirt types.  Or
a hawaiian shirt.  That means you're a retired sheriff I think.

So it isn't like I decided to walk around in clown clothes with a
dildo glued to my head, but I bought a chinese silk shirt with string
buttons.  I had to stop by Lowe's (like home depot) wearing this
shirt.  This guy comes to help me.  Somewhere I guess I knew that I
didn't FIT IN with home improvement TYPES.

"I USED TO BE LIKE YOU", the guy said.  That really threw me.  He goes
on this long, confusing spiel about how he used to buy clothes at the
public market sometimes and apparently smoke dope.  The two are
apparently two sides of the same coin to him.  Cause it's a TYPE.  He
used to do these things, but not any more.  I don't ask him why not
any more so he tells me.

"YOU KNOW.  -PROFILING-!"

I have no idea how, exactly, he means that.  Really, I suspect the
only person who "profiled" him was him.

He wasn't that TYPE any more.  Had to start a family and get
responsible.  Whole different TYPE.

***

I don't think anybody could possibly come to accept most of the ideas
of religion on a purely rational basis.  But most religious people,
they see being religious as being a certain type, and being
non-religious as being kind of degenerate, dirty person.  So they
accept the beliefs of the type they want whether they really believe
in them per se or not.

In a way the loons on alt.slack lately are a good lesson in how that
works.  It's really clear that to them, Freemasons or whatever Michael
Alcandor! was going off about are a TYPE and everybody in the world is
either his (teslacoils' or Michael Alcandor!'s) TYPE or they are the
evil Freemason TYPE.  What they say makes perfect idiot sense if you
look at it that way.

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
I SUGGEST GRANDMA NEEDS TO PUT HER DAMN SHIRT ON AND GET HER TITTIES
OUT OF MY DRINK.

On 29 Jan 2006 15:39:08 -0800, "BazOtherwise"

...

Well, that's one of those idola mentis you've got hold of
there. It's not that all hateful loons are stupid, only that
the only ones who ever express their depressing thought
processes to you are the loony ones. Seems the intelligent
ones tend to sit around in little rooms for most of their
lives, doing nothing much except polishing their holyness.
The combination of actually understanding what texts like
the bible are actually saying AND forcing yourself into
believing it's all true will eventually drive you mad in
complicated and interesting ways. Really. I'm not kidding.

...

...

Victorians, I think. I'd recommend Michel Foucault's
"History of sexuality". It's full of disturbing stuff like
self-flagelation, mutilated clitorii and barbed cock rings.

...

Thank you. I will get myself a copy of that. And great point about the
silent majority of relatively un-looney folks. Wow, this is the best
online group for posts like this. So many nifty people with brains.

Frankly, I'm outraged by the outrage.

A few days back, one of Modemac's posts got me thinking. His post
linked to an article that talked about new physical evidence showing
that "staunch party members" get a kick out of defending their
positions against obvious contradictions.

I started a response that got way too long. But this thread seems like
a good place for it to finally have its coming-out party.

I'd bet ten bucks that the parts of the brain that get tingly when
someone defends a ridiculous position are the same ones that used to go
off when our distant ancestors would meet an interloper, smell their
butt, discover that the butt didn't smell like theirs, and hoot and
holler until the butt went away.

Hypothesis: human language, communication, and even ideas and culture
-- evolved to replace humans' almost totally eroded sense of smell.

Yeti do not have this problem. But humans are social animals who lack a
direct way to identify who is likely to be friendly or hostile. To fill
the niche left by their noses, they created culture.

In the distant past, the choice was in some ways a lot starker than it
is now. If you belonged to Gurg's tribe, you also belonged to Gurg. Or,
if you were lucky enough to be born into a clan without an overbearing
leader, you still belonged to a collective with many of the same
characteristics. It was bigger than you, so it got to set the rules --
along with the punishments for not following them.

The worst punishment in those days was probably to be turned out of the
tribe. Sure, Gurg could be a hardass. The choicest meat and mates were
forbidden to you, along with loitering, spitting and skateboarding. But
if you entertained Gurg or got him some good eats, he might be merciful
and throw you some sloppy seconds.

But out in the true wild, without the group's protection, you were only
good for the meat on your bones. And that's if you were lucky enough to
be found by a sabre-tooth tiger, and not by one of the Gwag tribe that
Gurg pissed off by dumping rotten antelope in their watering hole.

So you'd defend not only Gurg, but Gurg's right to be Gurg. If Gurg
said the sky demands your poop as a sacrifice -- why, you'd fling it
skyward loud and proud! And when your poop came back to smack your
upturned mug, it's because the sky judged your sacrifice unworthy. Next
time make it bigger and riper -- for Sky and Gurg!

True, you might be able to wangle a little extra food to make a bigger
sacrifice. But that's not the only reason to knuckle under. After all,
Gurg defines your group. Unless you yourself want to knock him off his
throne, and become an even stronger strongman.

Now, say some strapping hominid drops by from the next savannah. Your
nose doesn't work. How do you know whether he'll work with your group
or disrupt it -- knowing that a disrupted group might well spell your
doom?

You'd probably start with something like: "Hail Gurg!"

And whether you got back "Gurg is a doodyhead" or "Gurg takes
everything for himself and plays his opponents against each other,
whereas a system of distributed leadership would be more effective and
more humane" -- well, it's all the same to you. The little Gurg inside
your head had just one sentence to pass -- death to the interloper!

Nowadays, instead of death, there's the cold shoulder. Or else
belittlement, an untoward interest in your private phone conversations,
or even an earnest attempt to help you SEE past your own SELFISHNESS.
The cause is the same. It's not the content of what you say that
matters, it's how well the content of what you say matches up with the
content of what you SHOULD say. As Zapanaz put it -- are you the right
type or not?

As long as everyone has a little Gurg in charge of their Departments of
Culture, the problem won't go away. People who rail against cultural
relativism in order to justify the superiority of their OWN culture
always miss the point. Culture is composed entirely of things that are
true because someone big and important SAYS they are true. No culture
has ever been founded upon the sky being blue or water running
downhill. Well, OK -- maybe the Hopi with their dry-farming
agriculture. But the focus of their culture isn't on wondering why
water goes downhill, so much as on why they get little bitty blue corn
while the Navajo get big old yellow corn. And none of these reasons are
reasons the Navajo probably agree with.

The fact that people can feel strongly about opinions or cultural
precepts betrays the fact that they go way deeper than the cerebrum.
They come straight from the old mammalian brain, and mere rationality
won't stop them. When Copernicus talked about the earth circling the
sun, and Galileo talked about mountains on the moon -- or even about
smaller objects falling with the same rate of acceleration as larger
objects -- their societies didn't rush to thank them for freeing them
from thousand-year-old misapprehensions. Instead, they reacted as if
they were under attack from Mars. If Galileo got to disprove one part
of their culture's received wisdom, what might happen to the rest?

When people defend a culture's demonstrable errors against outside
forces, their cultures reward them. I think it's why human brains feel
a boost when they behave this way. We are making it clear to our
leaders and followers that we don't stink as bad as the enemy. In fact,
that we are champions of CLEAN.

This is why the Nazis were so fond of book burnings and torchlight
parades. They were just trying to light a match to clear the stench out
of their befouled Deutsche air.

On Mon, 30 Jan 2006 09:46:58 -0800, Zapanaz

Oh and while I'm on the subject, I am about 90% sure that guy I keep
running into has a crush on me.

My god, I really need to try a guy at least once before I die.  How
bad can a blowjob get?

I have had more guys than girls get crushes on me, but in all
fairness, the girls have been much cuter.  But also in all fairness,
the guys have had more money.

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
I guess if you're having a fisting party, a latex allergy is the least
of your worries.

HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer

In article <1138577948.261417.176...@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>,
snip

Actually, logical thinking takes a great deal of practice to develop.  
It isn't simply a question of applying "common sense" - it requires
study, and the ability to learn from your mistakes.

Here's a list of common logical fallacies:
http://www.nizkor.org/features/fallacies

See if you can find the one you just committed.

Oral sex can cause cancer, although semen itself is not the cause.  
It's a small risk, but nevertheless, it does exist:
http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn4712

pb

SubGenii suck. I'm glad I'm not one anymore.

(Heh heh heh....ah, Alex, TV called - she wants her shtick back.)

  Thanks for dimming the light of my morning, dicknose.

--

  HellPope Huey
     Brer Rabbit had the right idea for his time,
     but these days his offspring are just
     velocity-challenged lunchmeat

    "Who knew bio-engineered food
        would lead to Smart Puke?"
         ~ "The Simpsons"

    "Never fry bacon when you're naked."
         ~ Richard Jeni

      http://www.beat-factory.net/hellpope/
      http://www.livejournal.com/users/hellpopehuey24/

While thinking about tolerance, stereotypes, and religion today, this
culture-as-smell-replacing-cliques concept kept on popping up. That's
quite an idea.

In article <300120060952380987%st...@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>,
 "Rev. Ivan Stang" <st...@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:

Belief is fundamentally irrational.  Nobody DECIDES to believe something
because it is reasonable, they get TRICKED into believing things that
sound like what they want to hear.  Religion provides a closed system
with no more nagging uncertainties, and that's exactly what many people
need to be able to function in their daily lives.  But of course I have
been telling everyone this for years, as you surely recall.

That's too bad. I was kind of hoping it was ridiculous.

If you want to read a story of how one kook became a kook, look for
"Trials of the Monkey" by Matthew Chapman.

The author is a descendant of Charles Darwin. A few years ago, he took
a trip to Dayton, Tennessee to see what the Scopes Trial fuss was all
about.

On his trip he visited William Jennings Bryan College, and got this
amazing candid interview with a biology teacher. A creationist biology
teacher.

This guy blows the kook curve by being smart and perceptive. And by
giving an unguarded account of how little choice he had in becoming who
he is. It's funny, heartbreaking and chilling.

A lot of the rest of Chapman's book is about what it was like to be a
teenage boy. Shocking, exhilirating, and depressingly familiar, all at
once...much like teenage boydom itself. Plus, there's Christian
spelunking.

Best biblical reference I can offer you is god, telling Lot to knock up his
wife.
He got most of the way there and then sliped it out and sprayed on the
floor.

Cant remember how yawah fucked him up (could have been blindness)

But even if you were going to believe what has the story to do with every
sperm being sacred? If the cranky old man behind the big invisible teddybear
came down to me and gave me an order i'ld probally follow it.

Seems like the moral of the story to me, dont fuck with manafesting
deities....

That was Onan. Lot's wife turned around to look at Sodom and turned into a
pillar of salt.

On 2/26/06 10:36 PM, in article
44029e22$0$7164$afc38...@news.optusnet.com.au, "Cameron"

On Mon, 27 Feb 2006 08:32:05 GMT, David McIntyre <pl...@mudbarn.com>
wrote:

oh you dirty boy, such filth.

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
This isn't right. It isn't even wrong. -- Wolfgang Pauli,
on a paper submitted by a physicist colleague

On Mon, 27 Feb 2006 00:52:35 -0800, Zapanaz

NO MORE ONION PORN ON THIS NEWSGROUP!!

NOW!

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"Why of course the people don't want war... But, after all, it is
the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always
a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy,
or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of
the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are
being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and
exposing the country to danger."
 -- Hermann Goering At the Nuremberg trials.

THE PLAN:

i will eat.  i will poop.  i will lay in bed and smoke up all the frop.
 you give me money.

i will make stupid songs on the ukelele about your monkey being a head
with legs.  i will poop.  i will eat.  i will sleep in the bed and
smoke up all the frop.  i will cause weirdos to activate and slime up
your eyeballs for smut.  i will poop.  i will eat cheese.  i will wash
my ass, but i will smoke up all the frop.

you will give me money.

You've discovered my plan.  You must die now.

Sits corrected. As a dedicated praticer of teh sin of onnan I should have
remembered more clearly.

I suppose that's what happend when you spend ten years collecting bibles
rather than reading them.

If only I hadn't gone blind.

Ah well, Jesus will forgive me (it's his job)

news:C027F906.5B8D%plugh@mudbarn.com...