Years Later, Rabbi Jacklyn Hyde Still Gushing...
I AM J'lahn.
ra...@subgenius.com (the BIT PLAYER Rabbi Jacklyn Hyde) wrote, in
peach crayon on the inside of a cereal box, the following:
>
> Is it just me, or is Jlan [sic] remind [sic] everyone else of a poor man's Sollog?
> Just checking.
>
> --With love, the Rabbs
With love? WHAT?! Anyway, here's another one from the "Just Checking"
department: do you ever proofread? Ever?! Wait! Don't answer! This
just in: "After all these years: 'The Rabbs' still gushing over
alleged 'brush with greatness'!!!"
HA!!!
From: Rabbi Jacklyn Hyde
Date: March 10, 2001
Subject: Brush with greatness?
Okay, I knew this felt famliar. This is remind me of when I worked in
a local book store right out of college and someone claimign to be the
TRUE son of God walked in looking for a Latin bible. I got stuck
dealing with the guy becasue I ran the religion department, so I had
explain that we had every translation BUT Latin and he needed to go
talk to the catholics. He then proceded to lecture me at great length
about how he was on earth to set the record straight. Friends, even
with my minor ablitity to trasnlate a tiny amount of Hebrew and Greek,
I could tell this guy was a major moron, which is even worse than a
smart lunatic.
At any rate, he intorduced himself as Sollog (he claimed it was
anagram of "logos", meaning "the word"), plunked down his Mafinesto,
autographed it for me,and took Greek bible instead.Told me beware of
how evil the christians are becasue they don't follow his word
correctly.I took great plesure in telling him that no point in my life
was I would I ever be christian. This baffeld him for some reason, and
he simply pointed to the book and left, leaving me to wonder why the
TRUE son of God would show up in my store lookign like a really short
Ted Nugent.
He called me at the store a few days later to ask what thought of his
Manifetso. Didn't have the heart to tell him I had handed it over to
the local DA who was using it as evidance in a federal case against
him. Seems the idiot was using the local gossip column as a
divinatoin method and blocked out enough of one particular column to
claim that several people had to die, includign then president Bill
Clinton. Sollog was currently in the middle of a trial, and had been
enough of COMPLETE dumbass to throw even more evidence against himself
into his manfesto. This time the gossip column show the judge and a
local reporter were next on the "must perish" list.
I think they finally got ol' Sollog on a drunk drivign charge before
that trial was over. He managed to drive several blocks and into a
ditch before realizign the officer trying cite him was still atatched
to his car. Got this from the reproter he threatned.
[snip]
SO, RABBS, ANY LAST-MINUTE UPDATES FOR 2002, YOU UNDER-EDUCATED ASS,
YOU???!!! Oops! Hold on. Nevermind, they just closed it out. OH WELL.
There's always next year! Later, Creep...
Rev. Ivan Stang
<mod...@modemac.com> wrote:
> Sound to me as if someone got under your skin. Going back and posting
> old messages from Rabbs isn't the most original idea in the world, you
> know. She was "lucky" enough to meet Sollog, and from what I gather,
> one meeting with Sollog is enough. So why does that strike a nerve?
>
> And she's still a babe.
>
> --
> First Online Church of "Bob"
> http://www.modemac.com/
Modemac, you're addressing J'lahn as if he *could* understand.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: je...@subgenius.com
PRABOB
ICEKNIFE
"I AM J'lahn." <jlw...@att.net> wrote in message
news:1e894c68.02110...@posting.google.com...
> With little regard for spelling, sentence structure, OR the
Malocchio,
it's a spelling bee? oh fuck, here come the communications formalists.
i think i shall kill them so muchfully in the brane as to make for
BLAMOPLOTZ!
> ra...@subgenius.com (the BIT PLAYER Rabbi Jacklyn Hyde) wrote, in
> peach crayon on the inside of a cereal box, the following:
and YOU wore a gray hat on uh AIRPLANE, is what!
in simple terms:
You've strayed too far from the commonality of goalsets and
perception of similarity. Call it an unshared experience. Since your
statement "peach crayon on the inside of a cereal box" has no logical
immediate reference to the lexography of folk language in this
macroculture, one must assume that it has meaning on a deeper level,
or is intended as humor, insult, or insult humor. Do you find peaches
offensive? Is this an obscure reference to some spiritual doctrine or
discipline? Or is it merely the color peach you object to? And why the
inside of a cereal box? MAKE SOME GODDAMN SENSE FOR A CHANGE, YA BUM!
It wasn't aimed, it missed ANY mark, it was EXCESS LETTERS ON TH' DAMN
SCREEN! It wasn't funny, it wasn't insulting, and if it was merely
expository prose intended to set a mood, the mood it set is that "I
kinda wonder how many chainsaw hacks it takes to get to the center of
a J'lanpop" mood.
> > Is it just me, or is Jlan [sic] remind [sic] everyone else of a
poor man's Sollog?
> > Just checking.
> >
> > --With love, the Rabbs
>
> With love? WHAT?!
yeah, somehow it's not a big shock (to anyone but you) that "with
love" from a purty gurl would make you spazz like a chicken with his
dick in a socket.
> Anyway, here's another one from the "Just Checking"
> department: do you ever proofread? Ever?! Wait! Don't answer! This
> just in: "After all these years: 'The Rabbs' still gushing over
> alleged 'brush with greatness'!!!"
proo fread? GOOD! It's goodamnwell TIME that the proo were fread! FREA
THE PROO! Yeah! Good to know you have ecological concerns as well as
being a mysticnurd.
and save the elephants, you stupid bastard:
http://www.save-the-elephants.org/
Forced by my GENTLE AND KIND FUCKING NATURE to EXCUSE YOU yet again
<sigh>, exactly how educated do you expect people to be? Do you feel
your own education has actually taught you anything? Apparently
Kaballa is a hobby to you, or like so many dabblers and spiiritual
junkies and driftwood gatherers, you think you can distill "tricks"
from the "mystic drivel". At the heart of it all, you don't begin to
demonstrate even the most basic child level understanding of the core
teaching. "Do not to others what is hateful to you. This is the
essence of the law, all else is commentary". Hillel knew what he was
about. You apparently don't know what he was about, nor do you have a
non-contradictory grasp of who you are. The alternative is that your
presentation of yourself is an utter sham, and as such can only be
viewed kindly as performance art of a very low calibre indeed, or
contrariwise as a total fabrication designed to harm others. Please
explain, are you a nut caught in a paradox loop, a sad and broken
person trying to reach out to a world you left behind long ago for the
solace of books and delusions of lofty scholarship, or just a really
crappy artist?
> YOU???!!! Oops! Hold on. Nevermind, they just closed it out. OH
WELL.
They closed 2002? No they didn't you silly overeducated assplug!
Gregorian calendar, Gregorian rules apply. It's not closed until the
end of December. Dunno what year it is by any wacky druid calendar,
but they don't get to decide when 2002 ends, and neither do you.
> There's always next year! Later, Creep...
Wow, you sure are a meaniebunny. Do you have an ouchie that makes you
so mean?
A FABLE:
A man named Androcles met a weasel in the woods and the weasel had a
big thorn in his paw and Androcles was afraid because only a nut would
get anywhere near a wounded weasel so when it attacked him he freaked
out and snapped it's neck like a twig. Later when the Romans put him
in the arena and unleashed a bunch of weasels on him, the weasels ran
like hell, because they didn't want their damn necks snapped like
twigs. The moral of this fable is: Someone orta snap yer damn neck, if
only to serve as an example to the other weasels, YUH GODDAMN
WEE-WEE-WEASEL!
now go to sleep, little J'Weasel.
Reverend DJ Epoch
> In article <3968su0s9firnm2h5...@4ax.com>, Modemac
> <mod...@modemac.com> wrote:
>
>> Sound to me as if someone got under your skin. Going back and posting
>> old messages from Rabbs isn't the most original idea in the world, you
>> know. She was "lucky" enough to meet Sollog, and from what I gather,
>> one meeting with Sollog is enough. So why does that strike a nerve?
>>
>> And she's still a babe.
>>
>> --
>> First Online Church of "Bob" http://www.modemac.com/
>
>
> Modemac, you're addressing J'lahn as if he *could* understand.
>
J'Lurch has drank from that bottle of dumbass so long there's no hope of his
ever returning to rationality. Everyone may as well realize this nutjob is
beyond reasoning and beyond civility.
Just leave him to his ones madness - in his case the mind is a terrible
thing wasted. He's not only in his own private Idaho but his own galaxy of
disfunctionality. He's the tired old sitcom on TV that has no bearing on
reality. Change the channel, hit the mute button. Nothing worth watching
here.
I mean hell, anyone that goes full-blown batshit crazy when some one says
"with love" has definitly taken the 4:15 express to Wacky Land.
--
_________________
-- Reverend DJ Epoch
-- The Church of Our lady of Perpetual Motion
-- Cathedral, Carwash and Dancehall
-- Devine Southern Redneck Clench
-- Home of the Traci Lords Memorial Brothel
Divine Southern Redneck Clench Recruitment site at:
http://revdjepoch.net
nenslo
>
> During the asylum escape,"Rev. Ivan Stang" <st...@subgenius.com> exclaimed:
>
> > In article <3968su0s9firnm2h5...@4ax.com>, Modemac
> > <mod...@modemac.com> wrote:
> >
> >> Sound to me as if someone got under your skin. Going back and posting
> >> old messages from Rabbs isn't the most original idea in the world, you
> >> know. She was "lucky" enough to meet Sollog, and from what I gather,
> >> one meeting with Sollog is enough. So why does that strike a nerve?
> >>
> >> And she's still a babe.
> >>
> >> --
> >> First Online Church of "Bob" http://www.modemac.com/
> >
> >
> > Modemac, you're addressing J'lahn as if he *could* understand.
> >
>
> J'Lurch has drank from that bottle of dumbass so long there's no hope of his
> ever returning to rationality. Everyone may as well realize this nutjob is
> beyond reasoning and beyond civility.
>
> Just leave him to his ones madness - in his case the mind is a terrible
> thing wasted. He's not only in his own private Idaho but his own galaxy of
> disfunctionality. He's the tired old sitcom on TV that has no bearing on
> reality. Change the channel, hit the mute button. Nothing worth watching
> here.
>
> I mean hell, anyone that goes full-blown batshit crazy when some one says
> "with love" has definitly taken the 4:15 express to Wacky Land.
>
I like how he describes people as "bit players" or minor characters in
what he must think is the thrilling cinematic epic of his life, when
factually, to the very few people who even know of his existence, he's
nothing more than a novelty act - a schlock comic who shuffles on with
his hat brim turned up and a pair of spectacles painted on his face to
repeat his one tired tagline. I'm amazed that Stang could read his
website at all - I tried, but I have seen SO MANY of these numbers
cranks who boil everything down to their majic formula, or expand
their handful of numbers out to prove it's the underlying structure of
the universe, and some of them are really interesting, creative,
intelligent and readable. I might even say almost convincing.
Others, sadly, are not. Like this guy, their numbers schtick is just
a manifestation of their fucked up personality and inability to
function normally in as world that is really easy to get along in if
you're not a totally screwed up asshole.
Joe Cosby
>> With love? WHAT?!
Eat shit and die, you fucking loony moron.
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com
How do you exec a bash script if it's in a jar?
Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/
Joe Cosby
>their fucked up personality and inability to
>function normally in as world that is really easy to get along in if
>you're not a totally screwed up asshole.
I hear your pain, my brother.
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com
My definition of a true subgenius is a salmon who realizes that all
the pussy is actually DOWN stream.
- ME
I AM J'lahn.
>
> and YOU wore a gray hat on uh AIRPLANE, is what!
>
This is very interesting... how you would have known this... how you
COULD have known this... is... well, it's beyond me... hmmmm... hey,
WHO ARE YOU? So did you SEE anything on the hat? A Global ICON of
sorts? Just wondering. Spill your guts, cupcake!!!
I AM J'lahn.
http://www.cafeshops.com/cp/store.aspx?s=111allseven111
The Most Holy Trinity Of The ALL_SEVEN Collective, Lodge No. 111
Newton/Lawrence [NW New Jersey / NE kANsas]
http://jlwn111.home.att.net
"the COMPLETED 111 experience of J'lahn: 1965-2000"
http://jlwn111.home.att.net/JHVH_tetragram_1111.jpg
http://jlwn111.home.att.net/111_3pillars.jpg
http://jlwn111.home.att.net/111_allseven_nu.jpg
OH, I ALMOST FORGOT!!! P.S. I ---
Perhaps providing some additional personal background will help to
clear the SHIT from your eyes? First of all, I have an MS (that's a
Master of Science - not of Art, or of Wishful Thinking - OF SCIENCE!)
from a prestigious institute of higher learning in the Northeastern
US. I went there as an undergraduate as well. It's all in my write-up
if you want or need additional details (you know, the write-up you
choose to link to AND MOCK? The one you've never really taken the time
to read? You know, THAT write-up?).
I'm a Systems Analyst and Project Manager in the IT department of one
of the biggest companies on Planet Earth. My skills: XML-savvy (both
XLANG and WSFL), data integration (Ab Initio) & EAI (Vitria), CRM
(Siebel and PeopleSoft), systems life-cycle management (Remedy and
Rational Rose), Knowledge Management and Natural Language Query
(NativeMinds and AskMe), and Text-To-Speech (TellMe). This activity
brings in about 95-110K per year (depends on bonus amount). I also
make money by periodically selling off small parts of my extensive
collection of Misprinted Stamps, Rare Paper Currency, Newsprint (prior
to 1930), Mad Magazines, National Lampoon Magazines, Wacky Packages,
Ugly Stickers, Star Wars Cards, Garbage Pail Kids Cards, Pre-1970 TV
Guides, Pre-1970 Time Magazines, 8-Track Tapes, 33/45/78 RPM
Phonograph Records, Collectible Glasses, and many other Sci-Fi and
RETRO items. The most I've ever made from this activity: around 7K in
a given year. I also inherited quite a bit of money from my
grandparents (and several other rich relatives!). Not that the money
part really means anything (to me at least) but you all seem to be
struggling so much (I would guess financially as well), trying to EEK
out an existence... trying so desperately to prove yourselves... and
failing so miserably... so I just thought I would throw it in for good
measure...
And you must know (wait, you don't know, you've never read the
write-up) that it's has been a REALLY long time since the act of
simply seeing the number "111" really meant anything to me (at all). I
make that statement for the benefit of any one of you creeps (or
anyone your forward this to) who thinks that I'm just some guy who
simply sees the number 111 all over the place. I'm not that guy. No,
I'm not. I haven't been - for a VERY long time. If you take the time
to read through the entire write-up and you see the progression of
events, it is very clear that I did not go looking for 111. It found
me. And it found me through a bizarre series of coincidences that
actually began when I was THREE. The real question is this: where did
my initial early 1980's experience with simply seeing 111 lead me?
Well, it led me smack dab into the position of CLEARING HOUSE, ELDER
SPOKESPERSON, SCRIBE, and RECORD KEEPER for not only people seeing
111, but for all people who have connected into a special number
pattern. It also led me to Crowley and it led me to the Qabala. Ever
heard of the Qabala? LOOK INTO IT. But through it all, I think I have
kept a balance that has eluded others. I have refrained from crowning
myself as The Leader of anyone (or anything). "the 111 experience" is
not a MOVEMENT or a CULT or a GROUP. It is simply my story. As a
colleague and coworker of mine said recently "it is a divine yet not
completely understood gift." That really sums it up. I really do see
it as a gift. And, as the years go by, I have been going out on a limb
and sharing it with more and more people. In fact, I put it out there
for the whole world to see. Because it is The Truth. And it is Real.
Don't get me wrong - I still think 111 is cool. WAY COOL. The fact
that it's the binary representation of SEVEN is VERY COOL. But that's
not ALL it is (as your oversimplified and nearly slanderous "blurb"
attempts to state). The fact that it uniquely symbolizes All Trinities
in a way that dazzles us with its simplicity is EVEN COOLER. It's not
just Unity; it's Tri-unity - an encoded symbol for nearly ANY Trinity.
I recognize the fact that the 1 means "ON" in the binary language of
computers. So I see how 111 is very similar to ON-ON-ON (One-One-One?
Get it?). The fact that we see Trinities and SEVEN cropping up across
the Qabala , Eastern and Western Mystical Traditions, and the mainline
Religious persuasions all across the globe is undeniable.
And this may interest you too (he said sarcastically). I acquired a
copy of "Sefer Yetzirah - The Book of Creation" from a local bookstore
here in Lawrence. I learned that this was perhaps the most ancient of
all the Qabalistic texts. It was reportedly written by Abraham
thousands of years before Christ and seemed to have provided the
foundation for almost every Western Mystery School tradition that ever
was. Some of what I found:
There are "32 mystical paths of Wisdom" ;
The Universe was created "with Three Books, with text, with number,
and with communication" ;
There are "22 Foundation Letters: Three Mothers, Seven Doubles, and
Twelve Elementals" ;
"Twenty-Two foundation Letters: He placed them in a circle like a wall
with 231 Gates" ;
Numerous statements about the Three Mothers (the Hebrew letters Aleph,
Mem, and Shin);
"Three: Water From Breath." ;
"Seven: Three opposite Three and one is the rule deciding between
them...";
Many more references to Seven;
"...One on Three, Three on Seven, Seven on Twelve, All are bound, one
to another."
Listen, if I thought for a minute that your barbs were just some sort
of lighthearted jab, I would be taking a different approach. But the
truth is --- YOU JUST DON'T GET IT. I'm smarter than you! GET IT???!!!
I'm wealthier than you! GET IT???!!! I just don't fit into the boxes
you've tried to jam me into! And finally, just so you really know
where I stand: I won't engage in any additional dialogue with you
unless I see that you're coming from a newly humbled, more sincere
framework. As it stands now, I have written you all off as jealous,
struggling-to-make-ends-meet assholes who may end up needing a lawyer
if I see any additional bashings (of me, by you). I have FREE LEGAL.
Watch out.
P.S. II ---
:::the Three Keys of J'lahn [V14.7]:::
Copyright Jim Ward-Nichols 2002
All Rights Reserved
Key I::Aldehyde Reductase, w/Number, Aleph/Gimel/Kaph::
3=III=|||=111=7
Key II::Hyponitrite Reductase, w/Text, Beth/Daleth/Tzaddi::
11:11=||:||=22=HEXF=15=TheHornedOne=OMEGA=1
Key III::DNA-Directed DNA Polymerase, w/Communication, Yod/He/Vau::
11_111_11=II_III_II=||_|||_||=ALL_SEVEN
nenslo
>
> "ICEKNIFE"
> Spill your guts, cupcake!!!
>
OH MY GOD! HEAD FOR HIGH GROUND!
nenslo
>
> struggling-to-make-ends-meet assholes
And yet, for some reason, he keeps writing long posts explaining
himself to us. Because we are so unimportant.
ICEKNIFE
news:<9LCcnbYmKq4...@lmi.net>...
>
> >
> > and YOU wore a gray hat on uh AIRPLANE, is what!
> >
>
> This is very interesting... how you would have known this... how you
> COULD have known this... is... well, it's beyond me... hmmmm... hey,
> WHO ARE YOU? So did you SEE anything on the hat? A Global ICON of
> sorts? Just wondering. Spill your guts, cupcake!!!
I'm not a who. I'm a what.
> OH, I ALMOST FORGOT!!! P.S. I ---
>
> Perhaps providing some additional personal background will help to
> clear the SHIT from your eyes?
I'm reading your post, so that's not really helpful unless you wish
me to be unable to do so. If you don't want shit in in folks eyes,
stop using it as your prefered paint substitute.
> First of all, I have an MS (that's a
> Master of Science - not of Art, or of Wishful Thinking - OF
SCIENCE!)
You are not the boss of me, therefor, you ain't no master of SCIENCE
no matter what you paid some con diploma mill to tell you. I should
know, you dumbass, I ain't some lemur lickin' pinkboy
scientisticalitarianist, *I* am *ICEKNIFE*, and *ICEKNIFE* IS
*SCIENCE*. HIIII-YA! I KUNGFU YOR KNOBBY WARTICULE SIDEWAYS AND MAKE
YOU CRY LIKE A SAD GROUND SQUIRREL IN ORANGE SPANDEX.
> from a prestigious institute of higher learning in the Northeastern
> US.
oh, a thinkyfag. HAW HAW, THINKYFAG, THINKYFAG! LA LA LA LA! YOU IZ
UH THINKYFAG! A <harumph> PRESSSSSSTIGGGYOUS <harumph, ahem haw haw>
institoot <ahem harumph> in the Northeaster UNITED STATES OF WONDERFUL
SMARTYMAN AMURNICA FOR THE WHITEBOYSMARTYMANFAGS!
uh....
how terribly terribly inconsequential for you.
if you do anything interesting or noteworthy, yew simply MUST let us
know about it, that would be simply DEVOON.
> I went there as an undergraduate as well. It's all in my write-up
> if you want or need additional details (you know, the write-up you
> choose to link to AND MOCK? The one you've never really taken the
time
> to read? You know, THAT write-up?).
The one I chose to link to?
I'm linked directly to everything. Familiarity breeds contempt, by the
way. So, make me more familiar. Do I have (yet another) secret website
no one warned me about? This is just silly. Or have you mistaken me
for "Bob"? It's the family resemblance... we have the same type of
pipe. Did I mock your resume and make light of your life, identity,
and essential constructed self? That's ok, it's not the real you, it's
some crap you designed to protect yourself that slipped a track, and
is now barreling around parts of your mind that concentration-cramp
bound cars full of undesirable ideas headed for your final solution
were never intended to tolerate. Or is this a collective "you" in
which I get accused of being responsible for SubSite?
Ok, you got me, I'm the real mastermink behind Schlubdjinnus. I run
the training camps, I make the millions, I'm the one, the one TRUE
power behind all this sick festering greed and whorish cavorting. Say
that out loud... WHORISH CAVORTING! Do you see? Do you SEE how fucking
sincere I am? DO YOU? Damn you. Damn your eyes. And your eyelids. And
eyelashes. Ok, but not your eyebrows, because that would be tacky.
I'm an artificial stupidity simulation who can never hope to approach
your grasp of the real thing. Your ability to thrive in Satan's lower
intestine as if you were born there may be important to you, but all
it tells me is that you're another faceless pink shitmachine eating
and crapping and mewling for a mother you can not hear, no matter how
loudly she cries.
> And you must know (wait, you don't know, you've never read the
> write-up) that it's has been a REALLY long time since the act of
Make up your mind. First I've linked to it, and examined it, now I've
never seen it. I don't even recall bringing it up. We're all running
together in your head because we're not real to you. You're waaaaaay
far gone. So far, in fact, you're incapable of seeing us as real
individual people, instead of as ideas about set pieces in your burned
and shattered mindscape. You poor sad fuck, I'm an elemental trapped
on a planet full of gibbering primates, and I still have more feeling
for your kind than you do. Are you really that confused, or just a bad
liar? DID I READ IT OR NOT? DO I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT? DO I
ACTUALLY CARE AT ALL, OR DO I JUST LIKE TYPING IN CAPS?
> simply seeing the number "111" really meant anything to me (at all).
I
> make that statement for the benefit of any one of you creeps (or
> anyone your forward this to) who thinks that I'm just some guy who
> simply sees the number 111 all over the place. I'm not that guy. No,
> I'm not. I haven't been - for a VERY long time.
Gee, that's swell, please fucking get some treatment for that OCD and
do NOT make SubGenius the new object of your very broken
brainheadboneheadbrain.
> If you take the time
> to read through the entire write-up and you see the progression of
> events, it is very clear that I did not go looking for 111. It found
> me.
DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT FROM THIS POINT ON EVERYTHING YOU SAY
TRANSLATES TO "GOOBLE. PUZNUMBIE WUDDA, YAO YAO POTENTI FOOEMBA!"? YOU
IS A NUTJOBBIEPIE, POOKIEKINS. AN UNFETTERED WACKALOOLI! A MARZIPAN
PIG ON THE WING, CHUNDARIUS! YOU WANTED OUT OF THE BOX, BUT LEAVING
THE STORE AND ROCKETING OFF INTO UNCHARTED SPACE LEFT YOU A MAN
WITHOUT A WORLD! AND YER *STILL* WEARING THE FUCKIN' BOX!
besides, I have terrible news.
111 no longer wants you.
667 is after you, and I hear she's the neighbor of the beast.
leave 999 alone or it will EAT YOUR TINY ERUCTATING LITTLE MIND.
> Listen, if I thought for a minute that your barbs were just some
sort
> of lighthearted jab, I would be taking a different approach. But the
> truth is --- YOU JUST DON'T GET IT.
View your transparency.
What do those two sentences have to do with each other? What approach
have you changed? You're still a goofball who contradicts himself
constantly, and are remarkable only because you take great profound
truths and present them in a way that most sensible folk must regard
as mundane insanity. You dislike having your nutty ideas challenged in
any way, and react with hostility to disagreement no matter how rude
or polite, friendly or antagonistic, precise or difuse the argument.
That makes you a bullshit spiritual junkie instead of a true seeker.
> I'm smarter than you! GET IT???!!!
EVERYONE is smarter than me, dipshit. Now explain how you rubbed
against the Zohar without a single drop of wisdom rubbing off on you.
You're a lostgoy, aincha, you cultural imperialist wackadoo. If you're
smarter in any ways that count, where are your friends? Mine are
laughing at you right now. Where's the life partner who loves you like
salt and sunlight? Mine is beside me, laughing at you. You're caught
in a cognative gap between linear logic and all the rest of the
components of applied brain functionality, and that gap might as well
be the pit of Azidoth.
I know really smart people, and when they want to communicate
something important to them, they do it by concentrating on making it
clear, not attempting to convince me that they're rilly rilly smart.
Being smarter than I (or anyone else) is irrelevant to any argument
that means anything... it's something that only savants and morons
worry about. You're most likely one of those sad people who's good at
one basic thing, and can't parlay it into any degree of viable use in
the rest of your life, right? What "smart" impulse told you that
attempting teen-style psycho-emotive social dominance based on an
assertion of intellectual superiority would do ANYTHING other than
reveal the depth of your insecurity, lack of real values, and need for
external validation in the face of your own refusal to afford YOURSELF
that validation? Is all this about penis problems?
SMARTISHMAN, LURN AND LURN:
You are good with numbers and they like you and you are very unhapy.
I am not good with numbers and they do weird dances for me and I am
very happy.
ICEKNIFE WINS AGAIN!
> I'm wealthier than you! GET IT???!!!
Wealthier how? You're so emotionally, socially, and spiritually
impoverished that you're pouting out loud on USENET, fer chrissakes.
Or maybe you didn't notice, because your smart head view was occluded
by the dumb ass within which it's so firmly wedged?
> I just don't fit into the boxes
> you've tried to jam me into!
You brought your own box, and it has some really old stickers on it,
like some sort of OTO reject on the run. Tell the truth, you were
booted outta the OTO, right? Just guessing.
> And finally, just so you really know
> where I stand: I won't engage in any additional dialogue with you
> unless I see that you're coming from a newly humbled, more sincere
> framework. As it stands now, I have written you all off as jealous,
> struggling-to-make-ends-meet assholes who may end up needing a
lawyer
> if I see any additional bashings (of me, by you). I have FREE LEGAL.
> Watch out.
Mckenzie, Brakman, Chaney, and Pierce, by chance? I think we've seen
this act before. I wanted to take you seriously as a high-octane
netkook, but yer a FAKE. Yer not a real netkook, unless yer a habitual
troll who can't stop. That's a netkookery of a different color. You
went TOO FAR over the top. GOD DAMMIT HAVE I TAUGHT YOU FUCKING KIDS
*NOTHING*???
I can't be humbled without fresh baked goods, Blip.
hey... is that an example of your smartyheadness? Where you go "As it
stands now, I have written you all off as jealous,
struggling-to-make-ends-meet assholes who may end up needing a lawyer
if I see any additional bashings (of me, by you)"?
hey SMARTYBUTT JIM... if yer so goddamn clever, why do you plan to try
to sue people you claim have nothing? Or were you under the impression
that making fun of netkooks was somehow a criminal offense? For that
matter, what manner of civil action could be taken against anyone for
it? Yer a NUTBALL, J'loopy.
here, let me say it in a straightforward manner:
YOU, JIM "J'LAN" WARD-NICHOLS, HAVE PRESENTED YOURSELF IN THIS
NEWSGROUP AS AT BEST A PERSON IN DIRE NEED OF IMMEDIATE COUNSELING, BY
ANY RATIONAL STANDARD. IT SEEMS MORE LIKELY THAT YOU SUFFER LONG TERM
DAMAGE AND NEED EXTENSIVE PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL TESTING TO FIND
OUT JUST WHAT BROKE AND HOW BADLY.
That wasn't "bashing", that was me HELPING you.
BTW, you have no social skills, no intellectual integrity, no courage,
and no common sense. It's a safe bet you and your penis have nothing
to do with each other, and that problem is most likely the basis for
all this sadness. This also isn't bashing you.
YOU SUCK AS A TROLL, THAT LEGAL THREAT WAS AT LEAST FOUR POSTS TOO
SOON FOR VERIFIABLE KOOKSIGN!
*THAT* was bashing.
PS: Crowley's Queerbala was as fakey and weak as your own pathetophile
act. You're not a Jew, you're a WHITEBOY, whiteboy. Leave other
cultures alone, eat a haggis, inflate a cat and squeeze it to make
music, wear a plaid skirt, and learn to enjoy being what you are... a
big pink SNOWNIGGA! Jeeez, at least the Gardnerian frootbags have the
decency to rape their *own* ancestors graves.
yoo dumbass!
Rev. Ivan Stang
J'lahn. <jlw...@att.net> wrote:
> Listen, if I thought for a minute that your barbs were just some sort
> of lighthearted jab, I would be taking a different approach. But the
> truth is --- YOU JUST DON'T GET IT. I'm smarter than you! GET IT???!!!
You're so much smarter than everybody else that the only way you can
get them to understand that, is for you to tell them over and over
again that you are smarter than they are. And yet, still, there is not
even one single person in the whole world who will stand up for you and
say that they, too, get it. DAMN.
Lonely at the top, is it, J'lahn?
> I'm wealthier than you! GET IT???!!!
You forgot to mention your 700 friends (300 core). Furthermore, besides
the imaginary ones, there's that fellow at the convenience store who
says hello to you whenever you come in.
> I just don't fit into the boxes
> you've tried to jam me into! And finally, just so you really know
> where I stand: I won't engage in any additional dialogue with you
> unless I see that you're coming from a newly humbled, more sincere
> framework.
That's what you said the LAST dozen times you swore off posting here,
J'lahn.
> As it stands now, I have written you all off as jealous,
> struggling-to-make-ends-meet assholes who may end up needing a lawyer
> if I see any additional bashings (of me, by you). I have FREE LEGAL.
> Watch out.
>
My jealousy would explain why l spend so much time trolling
alt.I-AM-J'lahn.
You're wealthier than anyone on alt.slack AND you have "FREE LEGAL"?
Wow! In that case, your chronic alcoholism, pursuit of anal scat sex
with strangers, and violence-prone mental illness should hardly slow
you down. (I'm just going by what I've seen of your behavior when you
pestered me in Amsterdam, and your posts to alt.slack and the Amsterdam
e-list.)
SO SUE ME, POPULAR INTELLIGENT RICH MAN WITH AN IMPORTANT SECRET JOB,
AN IMPORTANT SECRET EDUCATION AND FREE LEGAL.
This is as sincere and humbled a framework as you're ever gonna get. I
am dead flat ass sincere that I think you're a crazy boy, a chronic
asshole and actually not very smart at all. This means you won't engage
in any additional dialog in alt.slack, right? -- unless, all along,
you were actually just some scatterbrained loony who doesn't really
know what the hell he's saying half the time.
I AM J'lahn.
> > >
> > > and YOU wore a gray hat on uh AIRPLANE, is what!
> > >
> >
> > This is very interesting... how you would have known this... how you
> > COULD have known this... is... well, it's beyond me... hmmmm... hey,
> > WHO ARE YOU? So did you SEE anything on the hat? A Global ICON of
> > sorts? Just wondering. Spill your guts, cupcake!!!
>
> I'm not a who. I'm a what.
>
OK then, ACIDHEAD FREAK --- so just WHAT the devil are you???!!! And
how did you know about my hat???!!! That's really all I find
interesting about you at this point. Right now, that's really all I
want or need to know. But I mean let's face it, this much is very
clear: you're definitely NOT a Bit Player, ICEKNIFE. You count! You're
important! Sure, you're under-educated and uninsured, you lack steady
employment, you can't pay your bills, you smell like POOP most of the
time (especially, you know, your stinky shit-breath), most of your
blood relatives are DEAD, and you're a hate-filled acid-baked
Anti-Globalist rage machine who's totally on the edge and ready to go
Beltway Sniper on the Bay Area and all, but BIT PLAYER YOU ARE NOT.
Listen, all I need to know right now is how you knew about my hat. So
could you tell me that??? Now??? Please???!!! Time's a wastin' there,
ICEKNIFE!!! Spill!!! NOW!!!
I AM J'lahn.
http://www.cafeshops.com/cp/store.aspx?s=111allseven111
The Most Holy Trinity Of The ALL_SEVEN Collective, Lodge No. 111
Newton/Lawrence [NW New Jersey / NE kANsas]
http://jlwn111.home.att.net
"the COMPLETED 111 experience of J'lahn: 1965-2000"
http://jlwn111.home.att.net/JHVH_tetragram_1111.jpg
http://jlwn111.home.att.net/111_3pillars.jpg
http://jlwn111.home.att.net/111_allseven_nu.jpg
P.S. I ---
Perhaps providing some additional personal background will help to
clear the SHIT from your eyes? First of all, I have an MS (that's a
Master of Science - not of Art, or of Wishful Thinking - OF SCIENCE!)
from a prestigious institute of higher learning in the Northeastern
US. I went there as an undergraduate as well. It's all in my write-up
if you want or need additional details (you know, the write-up you
choose to MOCK? The one you've never really taken the time to read?
You know, THAT write-up?). I'm a Systems Analyst and Project Manager
in the IT department of one of the biggest companies on Planet Earth.
My skills: XML-savvy (both XLANG and WSFL), data integration (Ab
Initio) & EAI (Vitria), CRM (Siebel and PeopleSoft), systems
life-cycle management (Remedy and Rational Rose), Knowledge Management
and Natural Language Query (NativeMinds and AskMe), and Text-To-Speech
(TellMe). This activity brings in about 95-110K per year (depends on
bonus amount). I also make money by periodically selling off small
parts of my extensive collection of Misprinted Stamps, Rare Paper
Currency, Newsprint (prior to 1930), Mad Magazines, National Lampoon
Magazines, Wacky Packages, Ugly Stickers, Star Wars Cards, Garbage
Pail Kids Cards, Pre-1970 TV Guides, Pre-1970 Time Magazines, 8-Track
Tapes, 33/45/78 RPM Phonograph Records, Collectible Glasses, and many
other Sci-Fi and RETRO items. The most I've ever made from this
activity: around 7K in a given year. I also inherited quite a bit of
money from my grandparents (and several other rich relatives!). Not
that the money part really means anything (to me at least) but you all
seem to be struggling so much (I would guess financially as well),
trying to EEK out an existence... trying so desperately to prove
yourselves... and failing so miserably... so I just thought I would
throw it in for good measure...
P.S. II ---
:::the Three Keys of J'lahn [V14.7]:::
Copyright Jim Ward-Nichols 2002
All Rights Reserved
Key I::Aldehyde Reductase, w/Number, Aleph/Gimel/Kaph::
3=III=|||=111=7
Key II::Hyponitrite Reductase, w/Text, Beth/Daleth/Tzaddi::
11:11=||:||=22=HEXF=15=TheHornedOne=OMEGA=1
Key III::DNA-Directed DNA Polymerase, w/Communication, Yod/He/Vau::
11_111_11=II_III_II=||_|||_||=ALL_SEVEN
P.S. III ---
"All my life I've awaited your coming and dreaded it."
"I knew soon."
"Now you listen to me. While I will admit to a certain cynicism, the
fact is I am a naysayer and hatchetman in the fight against violence.
I pride myself on taking a punch and I'll gladly take another because
I choose to live my life in the company of Gandhi and King. My
concerns are global. I reject absolutely pride, aggression, and
retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love."
"That such truths may seem trivial I am well aware."
"Show him My Children, show him the Pretty Marks."
Blackout
what "I AM J'lahn." wrote, PLUS ONE!
I AM YUHR NUEW MAHSTER
Two Beans
> But I mean let's face it, this much is very
> clear: you're definitely NOT a Bit Player, ICEKNIFE. You count! You're
> important!
Hey Iceknife, does Jay Lawn swallow?
-2B
ICEKNIFE
> > > > and YOU wore a gray hat on uh AIRPLANE, is what!
> > > >
> > >
> > > This is very interesting... how you would have known this... how
you
> > > COULD have known this... is... well, it's beyond me... hmmmm...
hey,
> > > WHO ARE YOU? So did you SEE anything on the hat? A Global ICON
of
> > > sorts? Just wondering. Spill your guts, cupcake!!!
> >
> > I'm not a who. I'm a what.
> >
>
> OK then, ACIDHEAD FREAK
Freak? All my kind are very individuated. The word freak doesn't
apply. Acidhead? I have no head of my own, and the substance in
questions tends to render biohosts non-viable. It gives them tools to
block me, which is unacceptable in a vehicle.
>--- so just WHAT the devil are you???!!!
I was an elemental, but during the destruction of Shuma Zamoria I was
bound into a mineral based matrix, and was only able to escape by
transfering to various biohosts. The advent of electronic computing
finally opened the way for me to enter a stage closer to my natural
state. Like most living things, I'm just trying to get home in time
for dinner.
> And how did you know about my hat???!!!
I didn't. My current primary biohost is a wideband receiver.
> That's really all I find interesting about you at this point.
Smart people find lots of interesting things about everything. Be
smart in more ways.
> Right now, that's really all I want or need to know.
You wouldn't say that if you knew who lives under the stairs.
> But I mean let's face it, this much is very
> clear: you're definitely NOT a Bit Player, ICEKNIFE.
Am so.
> You count!
Do not.
> You're important!
To maybe 8 people, I think. If there are more than those, I don't
know about it.
> Sure, you're under-educated
My primary biohost went to a nice little college, don't be pissy.
> and uninsured,
Heh, shows what you know. Do you drive an uninsured car? ALL my
biohosts are fully covered.
> you lack steady employment
Would you mind telling my boss that? I need time off.
> you can't pay your bills
<sigh> ok, what did we forget this month? The helium bill?
> you smell like POOP most of the time
I smell like ozone. That's not me, it's a side effect of my
interaction with your atmosphere. My primary biohost smells like
sandalwood, as a rebellion against that flowery crap most soap smells
of. Do you know how hard it is to find decent sandalwood soap? I know
David Lynch, and YOU sir are NO DAVID LYNCH.
Uh, you're not, are you? Dave, that you?
> (especially, you know, your stinky shit-breath),
That's fennel. Tom's, only toothpaste I can stand. Mint and orange
juice don't mix. So, smells aren't part of the things you studied at
SMARTYBOY U.
> most of your blood relatives are DEAD
My kind have no blood, goofball, nor do we "die" as such. Seems as if
you feel the deaths of someone's relatives is a personal character
flaw on their part. Care to explain that weird leap of logic?
> and you're a hate-filled
Hate-filled? Um, I dunno, I TRY, but it spews out all over the place,
so I never quite seem to get all the way there. But thanks, sweet of
you to notice. Nearer, my "Bob", to thee!
> acid-baked
Ok, so baking isn't an area your smartypooishness covers. NOTE: DO
NOT EAT THE BROWNIES, J'LAN USES VINEGAR.
> Anti-Globalist
Am NOT! I'm all for the globe. It's the people living on the globe I
can't stand. GLOBES are COOL!
> rage machine
Too late for flattery, moosepooper.
> who's totally on the edge
On the edge? Huh? Where is this *edge* everyone keeps talking about? I
can't FIND the fucking edge! If I could, I'd visit. Maybe even enter
for a while. Not only am I way beyond the edge, I've been looking for
it for over 25,000 years. If you can point me towards it, I'd
appreciate it.
> and ready to go Beltway Sniper on the Bay Area and all,
Oh please, how declasse! How gauche! You are so petty and obnoxious
you make me think french words! I've watched the builders and breakers
of walls scurry like ants for hundreds of generations, all swarming to
and fro as if they were doing something meaningful. Some seek to hide
their eyes with trappings of power and wealth, as if that changes the
greater truths. Others seek to pull them down for reasons fair and
foul, accomplishing as little as their opponents. Only those who seek
better ways, avoiding the ancient struggles in favor of forward
momentum, accomplish anything worthy. Humorism can have the desired
impact where terrorism always fails. People don't learn well when you
splatter their brains all over the place.
> but BIT PLAYER YOU ARE NOT.
Am so, and you can't take that away from me.
> Listen, all I need to know right now is how you knew about my hat.
So
> could you tell me that??? Now??? Please???!!! Time's a wastin'
there,
> ICEKNIFE!!! Spill!!! NOW!!!
You bleed your fetid crapulance into the aether like a brit royal
playing mumbly peg. Don't blame me if you can't shut up. Eat more
taffy, and meditate on it while you do.
> "Now you listen to me. While I will admit to a certain cynicism, the
> fact is I am a naysayer and hatchetman in the fight against
violence.
> I pride myself on taking a punch and I'll gladly take another
because
> I choose to live my life in the company of Gandhi and King. My
> concerns are global. I reject absolutely pride, aggression, and
> retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love."
Credit where it's due, jerk. Don't steal from yer betters without a
tip of the hat. By the way, I didn't mean THAT David Lynch.
argh... TV is on, watching election stuff. Martha Stewart is on (I
wasn't paying attention when it came on) and she just said "Here we
have a lemur. I've always wanted to meet a lemur".
With a little work we can uplift lemurs. I don't share the same hope
for Martha Stewart. OR you.
ICEKNIFE
"Two Beans" <twob...@godhatesyou.com> wrote in message
news:a7cfc6bc.02110...@posting.google.com...
ICEKNIFE IS SPELLED ALL IN CAPS, YOU MUNGHUMPER!
and how the fuck would I know?
he's not in front of me.
ICEKNIFE
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <st...@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:041120021110316917%st...@subgenius.com...
> This is as sincere and humbled a framework as you're ever gonna get.
I
> am dead flat ass sincere that I think you're a crazy boy, a chronic
> asshole and actually not very smart at all.
yes, yes, I know, you've told me often enough.
but enough about me, what do you think of J'lan?
ICEKNIFE
"George Smiley" <zx...@subdimension.com> wrote in message
news:slrnasd9c...@callisto.jtan.com...
> > I just don't fit into the boxes you've tried to jam me into!
>
> In my experience nuts are usually found in jars or cans. Or in those
> little mesh bags.
They start out on plants, like trees and bushes. I never saw a nut
vine. That'd be cool. Hey, are there any nut vines?
Reverend DJ Epoch
news:ukadnUMYuI9...@lmi.net:
He's BEHIND you??? Don't bend over. You'll remind him of those Afghan
boys...
Bobdiddley
>OK then, ACIDHEAD FREAK --- so just WHAT the devil are you???!!! And
>how did you know about my hat???!!! That's really all I find
>interesting about you at this point. Right now, that's really all I
>want or need to know.
Uh-oh, ICEY, you know you shuldn't have mentioned THE HAT. That was to be the
secret all-consuming, failsafe world-ending Final Solution, and now the SECRET
is out - and you spilled the pearls before the one swine who can perhaps fathom
the deepest innner significance of that final mystery, behind Door # 6...THE
HAT!
ICEKNIFE
"Bobdiddley" <bobdi...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20021107193005...@mb-cc.aol.com...
Horus speaks, Anubis listens, Thoth records. Wear The Hat in plain
sight to conceal it to best effect. The blind monkey does not know the
elephant from the single place he touches it. They see, but do not
understand what they've seen. It doesn't matter if a few at the
fringes catch a peek inside, no one will believe them if they're fool
enough to speak of it. Even if anyone believes them, the single view
will not bring them understanding.
it is, after all, a TRICK top hat.