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      MAHANOY CITY, Pa. (Rueters) --
Your worst fears indeed have been
confirmed.
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       Body parts of one Ed Conrad are
being discovered in coal-mining stripping
pits throughout Pennsylvania's anthracite
region.
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       Good ol' Ed had disappeared from
the face of the earth a few days ago after
informing the Smithsonian and Penn
State University that they were phonier
than an $8 bill in their "search" -- WHAT
A JOKE! -- for true answers about man's
origin and ancestry.
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    This is how good-looking Ed
looked like just before he vanished
into thin air.
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http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Dartboard.jpg
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But look at him -- rather, pieces of
him -- now!
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     Most of Ed's body parts, which
already have begun to petrify, are
unmistakeable such as these
fingers (with fingernails -- although
one "finger" may actually be a toe),
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http://www.edconrad.com/pics/FINGERSx.jpg
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    Some, however, are a lot more
difficult to distinguish.
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Here are a few examples:
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Ed's left femur . . .
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http://www.edconrad.com/pics/z8femur.jpg
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Ed's gall bladder . . .
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http://www.edconrad.com/pics/GallBladder2.jpg
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Ed's cranium . . .
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http://www.edconrad.com/oldascoal/page3_files/body_data/skullb.jpg
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Ed's petrified brain . . .
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http://www.edconrad.com/pics/HumanBrain.jpg
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   More and more body parts are
being found every few hours, so
please keep tuned to Fox News
to learn what has turned up next.
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   Oh, by the way, this was the
original story about Ed Conrad's
sudden disappearance . . .
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http://groups.google.com/group/alt.politics.usa.republican/browse_thr...
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