COFFEE AS HUMAN SACRIFICE
Rev. Bruce Boblight
The sacrifice of humans and animals has long been believed to bring
magical power, even immortality, to those who know what they're doing.
>From the Aztecs of ancient America to the Nazis of modern Europe, the
practitioners of mass human sacrifice have acquired great strength at
the expense of their societies' long-term survival. It may be a bitter
price, but individual ambition can make the foulest brew taste sweet.
That last statement is all too literal. Recently uncovered evidence of
massive international conspiracy and scientific cover-up shows that the
refreshing pick-me-up we call 'coffee' derives its power not from the
legal drug caffeine but from the distilled suffering and death of
plantation workers, 50,000 of whom die or 'disappear' each year.
Plantation owners and managers are all - without exception - descended
in unbroken chains from the ancient Aztec priesthood. Who knows what
hideous rites they perform far from prying eyes?
And who knows why the carefully-cultivated coffee addiction problem has
risen to epidemic proportions in this country? Could it be that the
tiny infusions of ill-gotten power, spread throughout a nation, will
cause its downfall, JUST LIKE NAZI GERMANY? Is this "Montezuma's
Revenge?"
For the sake of the country - for the sake of THE CHILDREN - we must
give up our affair with the temptress, lest we find ourselves in hell
with THE BEANS ROASTING US! I challenge you all to take up WEAPONS and
TORCHES against your local espresso stands and coffee shops! It is
SELF-DEFENSE! Only when the last barrista has been hung with the guts
of the last Starbuck's executive will we be truly FREE of the terrible
curse upon our land. The choice is yours.
Rev. Bruce Boblight
Descended Angel of Wotan
--
Boblight Gospel Mission
The Church of the SubGenius is your best religiotainment value!
"Senility is wasted on the elderly." - Rev. Bruce Boblight
Michael Townsend
In article <33434F...@u.washington.edu>, "Rev. Bruce Boblight"
<bli...@u.washington.edu> wrote:
: the refreshing pick-me-up we call 'coffee' derives its power not from
: the legal drug caffeine but from the distilled suffering and death of
: plantation workers, 50,000 of whom die or 'disappear' each year.
50,000? That's not really so many, is it? Besides, take a look around.
People have been sucking down those hoodoo souls for generations
throughout the WORLD. Did you think coffee addiction was merely a recent
American phenomenon?
>mtow...@earthlink.net
Dads New Slacks PO Box 4722 Portland ME 04112-4722<
*
Angel
50,000? they gaveth of their lives that we might live.
--
snoochie boochie noochies!
--
Take out the word mars in my address to reply
It's just to discourage spam and UCE, not you
Duke Arioch of Chaos
>magical power, even immortality, to those who know what they're doing.
>>From the Aztecs of ancient America to the Nazis of modern Europe, the
>practitioners of mass human sacrifice have acquired great strength at
>the expense of their societies' long-term survival.
Long term survival? X-Day is 1998? Then we will see who was too mamby-pamby
to offer blood sacrifice of christian orphans on the alter of wotan for kicks
and slack.
> Is this "Montezuma's Revenge?
No, That's diarea.
>
>For the sake of the country - for the sake of THE CHILDREN - we must
>give up our affair with the temptress, lest we find ourselves in hell
>with THE BEANS ROASTING US! I challenge you all to take up WEAPONS and
>TORCHES against your local espresso stands and coffee shops! It is
>SELF-DEFENSE! Only when the last barrista has been hung with the guts
>of the last Starbuck's executive will we be truly FREE of the terrible
>curse upon our land. The choice is yours.
>
>Rev. Bruce Boblight
>Descended Angel of Wotan
>
I must agree with you on one thing, The Evil Starbuck's is a blight on our
society. It's pernicious like a virus & spreads to every town & village with
it's evil middle of the road, same old, same old, coffee ways. Only when we
have driven this cancer before us, killed all of their workers, and heard the
lamentation on Maria Shriver can we be safe from it. AAIIIEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
Or kill me.
Non Concedo,
Duke Arioch Of Chaos
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"Blood & Souls For My Lord Arioch."
================================
Smile when you call me a fanatic!
TarlaStar
"Rev. Bruce Boblight" <bli...@u.washington.edu> wrote:
>That last statement is all too literal. Recently uncovered evidence of
>massive international conspiracy and scientific cover-up shows that the
>refreshing pick-me-up we call 'coffee' derives its power not from the
>legal drug caffeine but from the distilled suffering and death of
>plantation workers, 50,000 of whom die or 'disappear' each year.
>Plantation owners and managers are all - without exception - descended
>in unbroken chains from the ancient Aztec priesthood. Who knows what
>hideous rites they perform far from prying eyes?
So...I'm actually getting a "soul-buzz" from these three pots a day?
Cool!
>And who knows why the carefully-cultivated coffee addiction problem has
>risen to epidemic proportions in this country? Could it be that the
>tiny infusions of ill-gotten power, spread throughout a nation, will
>cause its downfall, JUST LIKE NAZI GERMANY? Is this "Montezuma's
>Revenge?"
Sure, I'm prone to take a nice healthy dump after that first cup in
the morning, but it's rarely Montezuma's revenge. So I guess suffering
moves me, but doesn't quite evacuate me.
>For the sake of the country - for the sake of THE CHILDREN - we must
>give up our affair with the temptress, lest we find ourselves in hell
>with THE BEANS ROASTING US! I challenge you all to take up WEAPONS and
>TORCHES against your local espresso stands and coffee shops! It is
>SELF-DEFENSE! Only when the last barrista has been hung with the guts
>of the last Starbuck's executive will we be truly FREE of the terrible
>curse upon our land. The choice is yours.
Now I've got nothing against you using Starbucks employees as Pinatas,
Christmas decorations, or party favors at your next Baalcanalia, but
leave MY coffee alone, or I'll be forced to do something really mean
to both you and your family pets.
My choice is to have another cup.
Tarla
***
Reverend Mutha Tarla Star of the Little Sisters of the Perpetually
Juicy; a Proud jism schism of the Church of the SubGenius.
Worshipping Juicy Retardo and "Connie" Dobbs since 1986.
Irreverend Friday Jones
In article <33434F...@u.washington.edu>, "Rev. Bruce Boblight"
<bli...@u.washington.edu> wrote:
> Recently uncovered evidence of
> massive international conspiracy and scientific cover-up shows that the
> refreshing pick-me-up we call 'coffee' derives its power not from the
> legal drug caffeine but from the distilled suffering and death of
> plantation workers, 50,000 of whom die or 'disappear' each year.
> Plantation owners and managers are all - without exception - descended
> in unbroken chains from the ancient Aztec priesthood. Who knows what
> hideous rites they perform far from prying eyes?
(Sigh) It's enough to make _me_ want to start drinking coffee.
Almost.
--
The Irreverend Friday Jones
*Visit The House Of Slack*
http://www.cybercom.net/~friday
dode
On 4 Apr 1997 18:04:46 GMT, friday...@cybercom.net (Irreverend
Friday Jones) wrote:
>In article <33434F...@u.washington.edu>, "Rev. Bruce Boblight"
><bli...@u.washington.edu> wrote:
>
>> Recently uncovered evidence of
>> massive international conspiracy and scientific cover-up shows that the
>> refreshing pick-me-up we call 'coffee' derives its power not from the
>> legal drug caffeine but from the distilled suffering and death of
>> plantation workers, 50,000 of whom die or 'disappear' each year.
>> Plantation owners and managers are all - without exception - descended
>> in unbroken chains from the ancient Aztec priesthood. Who knows what
>> hideous rites they perform far from prying eyes?
>
>(Sigh) It's enough to make _me_ want to start drinking coffee.
>
>Almost.
>
So this is fear, I think I prefered living before realising you
weren't already caffeine fueled.
__
/\ dode
Irreverend Friday Jones
In article <33467f9...@dolmen.demon.co.uk>, do...@dolmen.demon.co.uk
(dode) wrote:
I also don't drink alcohol, don't partake of nicotine or 'Frop, and have
been even known to exercise on occasion.
Come here, my sweet ... if I was going to hurt you, why would I be hiding
here in the darkest, wildest part of the Internet? I'm not going to hurt
you. Come closer ... clooserrr ... sweeeeet ...
dode
On 5 Apr 1997 14:24:29 GMT, friday...@cybercom.net (Irreverend
Friday Jones) wrote:
>In article <33467f9...@dolmen.demon.co.uk>, do...@dolmen.demon.co.uk
>(dode) wrote:
>
>> On 4 Apr 1997 18:04:46 GMT, friday...@cybercom.net (Irreverend
>> Friday Jones) wrote:
>>
>> >In article <33434F...@u.washington.edu>, "Rev. Bruce Boblight"
>> ><bli...@u.washington.edu> wrote:
>> >
>> >> Recently uncovered evidence of
>> >> massive international conspiracy and scientific cover-up shows that the
>> >> refreshing pick-me-up we call 'coffee' derives its power not from the
>> >> legal drug caffeine but from the distilled suffering and death of
>> >> plantation workers, 50,000 of whom die or 'disappear' each year.
>> >> Plantation owners and managers are all - without exception - descended
>> >> in unbroken chains from the ancient Aztec priesthood. Who knows what
>> >> hideous rites they perform far from prying eyes?
>> >
>> >(Sigh) It's enough to make _me_ want to start drinking coffee.
>> >
>> >Almost.
>> >
>> So this is fear, I think I prefered living before realising you
>> weren't already caffeine fueled.
>
>I also don't drink alcohol, don't partake of nicotine or 'Frop, and have
>been even known to exercise on occasion.
Blob help us all!
>Come here, my sweet ... if I was going to hurt you, why would I be hiding
>here in the darkest, wildest part of the Internet? I'm not going to hurt
>you. Come closer ... clooserrr ... sweeeeet ...
>
The atlantic ocean is such a comfort to me, that and my trusty
polished shield.
__
/\ dode
Irreverend Friday Jones
In article <3347b2a...@dolmen.demon.co.uk>, do...@dolmen.demon.co.uk
(dode) wrote:
What about your spear and magic helmet?
dode
On 9 Apr 1997 03:20:55 GMT, friday...@cybercom.net (Irreverend
Friday Jones) wrote:
>In article <3347b2a...@dolmen.demon.co.uk>, do...@dolmen.demon.co.uk
>(dode) wrote:
>
>:
>>
>> The atlantic ocean is such a comfort to me, that and my trusty
>> polished shield.
>
>What about your spear and magic helmet?
>
NO!
You don't want to open that particluar jar oh woims.
__
/\ dode