JOIN SUBGENIUS CELIBACY PRIDE!!!!
Divine Ma-Schematic
Divine Ma-Schematic
> word!
feels like you guys would TAUNT ME FOR BEING SINGLE ALL THE TIME IN MY
BACK, and if I turn around, you're no longer there. My appearance, my
celibate status , result from FREEDOM OF CHOICES. I'll say it once
because there has been too much taunting on these matters: ASSHOLES!
leave me alone!
Dok Holocaust
> word!
SubGenius Anti Sex League represent!
and here I thought i was the only one finding Slack through Celibacy.
Dok Holocaust
> >and here I thought i was the only one finding Slack through Celibacy.
>
> Forced on you or elected?
voluntary.
Dok Holocaust
> >> Forced on you or elected?
>
> >voluntary.
>
> Do you masturbate?
very infrequently, i'd say less than 6 times a year.
just john
Takes you more than two months to reach orgasm?
--
* Radio Free Entropy: http://just-john.com/cn/rfe.shtml
Sir Studly Spanksalot OBE
You can't find a willing sex partner because you're a horrible human
being with no redeeming values.
Toilet Pepper
Me too. I've been single for around 2 years now.
The furious fapping keeps everything in check.
Radix Lecti Artemia Salina
Hell, in the winter I heat my house by masturbating!
On a cold night my wasserschnitzel glows like a quartz rod with 1500 watts
passing through it, and my spoim boils into a jet of steam that I use to
power wash the hubcaps on my car with!
--
Ultra-Hyper Hotent-Poncho.
Dok Holocaust
>
> Takes you more than two months to reach orgasm?
thankfully, no. I've got a routine down that's all over in under 2
minutes. I just don't get much out of it, so rarely feel the urge.
Rev. Ivan Stang
wrote:
"Wasserschnitzel." I really like that word. That is going to come in
real handy around here. We're already strangely dependent on the word
"kundwasser" but I think we made that one up. We even expanded it to
be an adjective, "kundwasserishnism." Wasserschnitzel has a ring to
it. Sounds like you're keeping that thing busy at any rate. I've seen
how you people do it, on those YouTube sex videos.
harmfulguy
As long as you're secure enough about it that you don't have to make up
an imaginary sex life (or can at least keep it to yourself), more power
to you.
Dok Holocaust
wrote:
I don't want an imaginary sex life. I had a real one before and it
was a pain in the ass. I'd rather imagine something enjoyable
Rev. Exo-Skeletal ScalPlan
consensual sex is just a valid excuse for not thinking
Steve Thompson
I bloody well know that's a problem for the majority of the posters in
alt.slack, and it's primarily because they keep sending crude
propositions to my email address. I tell them, politely, no I'm not
really interested in your snuff porn, or whatever retrograde fetish
happens to tickle their fancy. Strangely, this does not seem to deter
them much.
When I get these emails, which sometimes arrive more than once in a
day, often I am reminded of a character in Williams' "This Is Not A
Game"[1], who pursues the protagonist around the world with letters,
flowers, and of course shows up in person. The character in the book
is clearly deranged and unable to assess his own mental state with any
kind of clinical objectivity, and so it is with many of these
desperate slackers who email again and again.
It is probably good they are allowed to masturbate, otherwise their
sexual tensions might build and build without release, to the point
where the public could become threatened in some way. I am not a
qualified psychologist or psychiatrist and so my understanding of risk
in this context has not been well tested. It merely seems logical to
say that people who are unable to control their prurient urges and who
are also morally weak[2], must eventually offend against people of
means and good breeding. But I digress.
What we probably need here is a public health operation to asses the
actual level of risk. There's no substitute for a team of competent
hrofeffionals when you need to understand something like an alleged
joke religion and its practitioners' sexual habits. So, just as a
good citizen should, I shall be making a call to report you all to the
Internet's Public Health Bureau (IPHB). They can read just as well as
anyone, and I'm sure they will find many of the emails interesting to
study at length.
So all you desperate slack-dick losers out there who have guilty
consciences better straighten up. Those who have actually entertained
bad thoughts had better start worrying about how you will conceal your
thought crimes. Hop to it.
[1] I do not specifically endorse this book, however it is
necessary to read it in order to understand the affected
sentence.
[2] Chronic Spiritual Leprosey and You; May, T. C. et al., JIR, v.84
p.3948-75[3]
[3] Compairing and admiring your suppurating moral defects may well
be one of your sub-culture's cherished mating rituals, but the
viewers at home mostly find the practise repugnant, and wish you
would only do it in private where innocent children won't be
likely to witness the act.
Regards,
Steve
--
No shirt?
No shoes?
No service.
SusietheFloozie
> [1] I do not specifically endorse this book, however it is
> necessary to read it in order to understand the affected
> sentence.
>
> [2] Chronic Spiritual Leprosey and You; May, T. C. et al., JIR, v.84
> p.3948-75[3]
>
> [3] Compairing and admiring your suppurating moral defects may well
> be one of your sub-culture's cherished mating rituals, but the
> viewers at home mostly find the practise repugnant, and wish you
> would only do it in private where innocent children won't be
> likely to witness the act.
Damn. Steve Thompson, verily you are at the top of your game today. I
welcome your posts.
Steve Thompson
Like my momma used to say, there's nothing like a taser to the back of
the head to get those creative juices flowing.
Rev. Logan 714
> On Fri, Nov 20, 2009 at 09:35:22PM -0800, Sir Studly Spanksalot OBE wrote:
>
> > On Nov 20, 10:16 am, Divine Ma-Schematic <jhv...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > On Nov 20, 10:05 am, Divine Ma-Schematic <jhv...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > > word!
>
> > > feels like you guys would TAUNT ME FOR BEING SINGLE ALL THE TIME IN MY
> > > BACK, and if I turn around, you're no longer there. My appearance, my
> > > celibate status , result from FREEDOM OF CHOICES. I'll say it once
> > >
snip
"they keep sending crude
propositions to my email address. I tell them, politely, no I'm not
really interested in your snuff porn, or whatever retrograde fetish
happens to tickle their fancy. Strangely, this does not seem to deter
them much. "
WHAT THE FUCK I'm missing out No one on alt.slack sends porn to my
email daily
did i miss it in the ordainment pack? Please check the box (send porn
daily )
thank you
logan
Rev.Dr. LoBotomy
The Church porn spamming team automatically filters out people who have
bought their memberships.
Toilet Pepper
Steve Thompson
>
> WHAT THE FUCK I'm missing out No one on alt.slack sends porn to my
> email daily
It's difficult to know what it is that turns-on these slackers, but
my amateur assay of their intentions suggests they are commonly
interested in "water sports", for most yellow values of water. Boring
people to death figures prominently, as does extreme BSDM,
asphyxiation, and similarly unbalanced sexual practices. I suspect
their sexual 'partners' get used-up fairly quickly, hence the
never-ending quest for starry-eyed noobs susceptible to strongly
worded nonsense.
> did i miss it in the ordainment pack? Please check the box (send porn
> daily )
It's probably that you don't satisfy their criterion, whatever it is.
Exactly how they select their victims remains a closely guarded
secret, and as some of them seem to have some sort of a working
relationship to the defense industry it's unlikely we'll find out this
century.
I'd be happy to send you some samples of the kind of filth that hits
my inbox, if you want.
Steve Thompson
>
> YAY!
I wouldn't mind it at all if some of these losers were to choose
celibacy, and then fucked off to some special camp for their kind.
Toilet Pepper
> On Sun, Nov 22, 2009 at 02:04:25PM -0800, Toilet Pepper wrote:
>
> > YAY!
>
> I wouldn't mind it at all if some of these losers were to choose
> celibacy, and then fucked off to some special camp for their kind.
>
Mr. Thompson, stop being a douche. kthnxbye.
Rev.Dr. LoBotomy
> On Sun, Nov 22, 2009 at 02:04:25PM -0800, Toilet Pepper wrote:
>>
>> YAY!
>
> I wouldn't mind it at all if some of these losers were to choose
> celibacy, and then fucked off to some special camp for their kind.
>
>
> Regards,
>
> Steve
The only people who have chosen celibacy are those who have been
brainwashed by their church, or parents, that sex is evil. Otherwise
masturbation is an outlet even for the most abhorrent. Sex is good.
Toilet Pepper
wrote:
I'll fap to that, Sir!
Rev.Dr. LoBotomy
> It's difficult to know what it is that turns-on these slackers, but my
> amateur assay of their intentions suggests they are commonly interested
> in "water sports", for most yellow values of water. Boring people to
> death figures prominently, as does extreme BSDM, asphyxiation, and
> similarly unbalanced sexual practices. I suspect their sexual
> 'partners' get used-up fairly quickly, hence the never-ending quest for
> starry-eyed noobs susceptible to strongly worded nonsense.
If we're so boring, why do you feel it necessary to read alt.slack?
You're just another hypocrite who doesn't realize that he's the same type
of person that he's condemning. Yes, Steven, you're a SubGenius! You're
one of us. You're just unsaved. Put your hand on your member and say
"Praise "Bob"'!
Steve Thompson
Right after you become civilized and pay your debt to society.
Rev. Susie the Floozie
I paid my debt to society, but I lost the goddamned receipt.
Susie
--
No shirt
No shoes
No cervix
Rev.Dr. LoBotomy
Praise "Bob"!!
Steve Thompson
> On Sun, 22 Nov 2009 20:23:34 -0500, Steve Thompson wrote:
>
> >>
> >> YAY!
> >
> > I wouldn't mind it at all if some of these losers were to choose
> > celibacy, and then fucked off to some special camp for their kind.
>
> brainwashed by their church, or parents, that sex is evil. Otherwise
> masturbation is an outlet even for the most abhorrent. Sex is good.
Sex is dirty pool, but I wouldn't live without it.
Steve Thompson
> On Sun, 22 Nov 2009 20:19:55 -0500, Steve Thompson wrote:
>
> > amateur assay of their intentions suggests they are commonly interested
> > in "water sports", for most yellow values of water. Boring people to
> > death figures prominently, as does extreme BSDM, asphyxiation, and
> > similarly unbalanced sexual practices. I suspect their sexual
> > 'partners' get used-up fairly quickly, hence the never-ending quest for
> > starry-eyed noobs susceptible to strongly worded nonsense.
>
I have this inexplicable urge to read hate-mail, which is always more
than satisfied when I browse through this newsgroup. Sadly the urge
always returns after a few hours or days, and so I must read again. I
post here mostly because I feel I should contribute something, even if
it is wrong-headed or inappropriate, rather than simply lurk and wait
for the gems to scroll past.
> You're just another hypocrite who doesn't realize that he's the same type
> of person that he's condemning. Yes, Steven, you're a SubGenius! You're
> one of us. You're just unsaved. Put your hand on your member and say
> "Praise "Bob"'!
Hugs all around.
Toilet Pepper
Yes, Mr. Thompson! Tell that dude who calls himself "Toilet Pepper" to
become civilized!
Steve Thompson
>
> Yes, Mr. Thompson! Tell that dude who calls himself "Toilet Pepper" to
> become civilized!
You may be past caring about much beyond your word-rate, but if even
one beautiful innocent American child is improved by such sentiment,
then it will be worth it.
Toilet Pepper
My "word-rate" is not of the matter, Steve. Content is much more
important than the length of of the sentence. Just think about it, I
could troll you with a few words and you reply with those long pseudo-
intellectual "sentences" that only you could understand nor care about.
Dok Holocaust
<revsusiethefloo...@gmail.com> wrote:
> I paid my debt to society, but I lost the goddamned receipt.
>
> Susie
I paid my debt to society with a credit card, then had the charge
reversed because they're STILL a pain in my ass even after I paid them
off. I'm gonna wait for society to sell my debt to a collections
agency then settle it for half the original balance