The last time I saw Brad

deadfloyd

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Sep 12, 2011, 12:25:11 AM9/12/11

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"Have a look at this, Brad. C'mon if I can't show you, who can I show?
'Sides, it's got a certain novelty value.You never used to be so
particular." I whined.

Bradley Robertson

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Sep 12, 2011, 11:23:24 AM9/12/11

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What? you have a new scar? A large implant? A buddy told me a true
story the other day, his doctor friend was at a party with a local vet,
when the vet got an emergency call about a constipated dog. The doc
rides along with the vet to meet the distrait woman and her dog. An
x-ray showed an obstruction and the options are a $2500 surgery, or put
the dog down.

She loved her dog and okayed the operation, which was a success. The
obstruction you ask? . . . a 9" dildo.

deadfloyd

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Sep 13, 2011, 2:43:36 AM9/13/11

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I only half-listened to Brad's story about the dildo-loving dog,
caught up instead by our environment and enjoying my half-stiffie
which had been caused by my memories of the last time I had been here,
enjoying Shirley in her kitchen. Brad had been there too, though he
didn't recognize me in the low light but instead had mistaken me for a
much younger man, and told me of his irrelevant memories of free-form
screwing. "Yep, you could have been me at that age," he crowed, not
realizing that I was the future--an old fuck--rather than a young one.

"So, have you talked to Shirley lately?" I asked, changing the subject
abruptly, as is my habit.

"No. Now that you mention it, I haven't seen her for a couple of days.
The last time I saw her, she was having trouble with her bum leg. She
could hardly walk."

"You sure it wasn't just her bum?" I asked.

Brad looked distressed. He was not comfortable with such talk about
his friend. I noted his discomfort and decided not to share the
details of my encounter with her.

Bradley Robertson

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Sep 13, 2011, 12:35:59 PM9/13/11

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"If you knew Shirley, like I know Shirley,
Oh, oh, oh what a gal," Floyd bragged.

Down! Down!

Bad boy! Stop humping her leg. . .

Message has been deleted

deadfloyd

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Sep 13, 2011, 10:52:16 PM9/13/11

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On Sep 13, 2:43 am, deadfloyd <deadfloyd2...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> On Sep 12, 11:23 am, Bradley Robertson <b...@whidbey.com> wrote:
>
> > On 9/11/2011 9:25 PM, deadfloyd wrote:
>
> > > "Have a look at this, Brad. C'mon if I can't show you, who can I show?
> > > 'Sides, it's got a certain novelty value.You never used to be so
> > > particular." I whined.
>

> I only half-listened to Brad's story about the dildo-loving dog,
> caught up instead by our environment and enjoying my half-stiffie
> which had been caused by my memories of the last time I had been here,
> enjoying Shirley in her kitchen. Brad had been there too, though he
> didn't recognize me in the low light but instead had mistaken me for a
> much younger man, and told me of his irrelevant memories of free-form
> screwing. "Yep, you could have been me at that age," he crowed, not
> realizing that I was the future--an old fuck--rather than a young one.
>
> "So, have you talked to Shirley lately?" I asked, changing the subject
> abruptly, as is my habit.
>
> "No. Now that you mention it, I haven't seen her for a couple of days.
> The last time I saw her, she was having trouble with her bum leg. She
> could hardly walk."
>
> "You sure it wasn't just her bum?" I asked.
>
> Brad looked distressed. He was not comfortable with such talk about
> his friend. I noted his discomfort and decided not to share the
> details of my encounter with her.

I spun on my stool so that I faced out, leaning on my elbows on the
counter. Brad, leaning over his coffee cup before him, looked at me
over his shoulder.
"Stop it,: I said. "You're reminding me of Paris Hilton."

He smiled at this and returned his attention to his coffee.

"So, what're your plans for when the ferry stops running and everybody
leaves. You going to become a mainlander then?"

"No. I think I'll farm. Take out my John Deere and plow up the lawns
and yards of the abandoned places. Should be able to produce enough to
sustain myself. Plus hunting and trapping coyotes should do it."

The conversation was starting to bore me, so I let my thoughts drift
to Shirley. I wondered where she was and whether I could find her.
Without saying a word, I slipped off my stool and out the door.

"Catch you later," Brad said behind me.

Bradley Robertson

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Sep 13, 2011, 11:22:55 PM9/13/11

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> The conversation was starting to bore me, so I let my thoughts drift
> to Shirley. I wondered where she was and whether I could find her.
> Without saying a word, I slipped off my stool and out the door.
>
> "Catch you later," Brad said behind me.

Oh yeah, been there. . . Following the stink of ripe tuna.

Get a hold of yourself, Floyd.

deadfloyd

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Sep 15, 2011, 12:53:14 AM9/15/11

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"Got any nines?" Brad asked, peering over his hand and wearing a shit-
eating grin.

"Go fish," I replied with as much bravado as I could muster.

Bradley Robertson

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Sep 15, 2011, 1:32:19 AM9/15/11

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>
> "Got any nines?" Brad asked, peering over his hand and wearing a shit-
> eating grin.
>
> "Go fish," I replied with as much bravado as I could muster.

As I recall, the "nines" had the best tits of all the naked women who
made up the playing cards we stole from Dad's secret drawer. Mellon
size that could pass the pencil test. . .

deadfloyd

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Sep 16, 2011, 1:43:27 AM9/16/11

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Number Nine...Number Nine...Number Nine

(You say you want revolution, well y'know you can count me in/out.)

Why do I have the urge to find a Japanese chick?

Actually, the good thing about getting older is one realizes that
there isn't a cause worth fighting for. There is no need for
revolution or even evolution.

Okay Brad, here's where you do your featured solo. Perhaps a verse or
two of Money.

Floyd
(I am evolving into my recliner)

Bradley Robertson

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Sep 16, 2011, 11:07:50 AM9/16/11

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"HuHuh! I was in the right!"

"Yes, absolutely in the right!"

"I certainly was in the right!"

Heavy drum beat . . .

deadfloyd

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Sep 16, 2011, 10:08:25 PM9/16/11

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A heavy crack of thunder cut through the standing ovation Shirley's
customers were giving us. I looked at Brad who appeared darker and in
need of a haircut as he stood waiting for the weather to clear. He was
stroking the neck of his guitar like it was a well-loved member. "I'm
gonna blow their minds with my version of the National Anthem," he
said.

Suddenly, the PA crackled: "We've just been told there's a bad bunch
of acid out there. Beware the brown acid." A thousand women screamed
as visions of "Tell Me You Love Me, Junie Moon" danced through their
heads.

For just a moment, I let the chaos touch me.

Bradley Robertson

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Sep 17, 2011, 9:40:33 AM9/17/11

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"Fucking Stoners! Give me rye whiskey!" Said the wanna be roadie, with
sparse whisker growth, to no one in particular.

"Sloe gin," she mussed, "that's the way to go." She was hard to look
at, but horny.

deadfloyd

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Sep 17, 2011, 11:22:28 PM9/17/11

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While Brad warmed up his lighter fluid for his big finale, I teased
the crowd with the title song from my latest album, Nailed, to be
released in the near future:

I feel them,lifting up my cross,
And know I will be better off.
At least this way I've got a view
And I had nothin' better to do...

But it's too late. They are hungry for Brad and chant his name.

I drag my ass off the stage in shame and dishonour.

Bradley Robertson

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Sep 18, 2011, 12:11:44 PM9/18/11

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What can I say? I am a rock star, in the depths of your mind. I only
wish I were a different color.

deadfloyd

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Sep 19, 2011, 11:47:56 PM9/19/11

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Yes, but you are a self-taught rock star. Didn't you teach yourself to
play "Coming 'Round the Mountain"?

Come to think of it, I am self-taught too. I taught myself to play the
keyboard using dummy notes for reading music and one-finger chords for
playing music--but I forgot everything I knew. The same can be said
for bass, but I took lessons for that. Still forgot everything.

Would you rather I thought of you as a porn star?

Bradley Robertson

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Sep 20, 2011, 12:21:53 AM9/20/11

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>
> Would you rather I thought of you as a porn star?

What? I Can't be both?

deadfloyd

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Sep 21, 2011, 11:19:35 PM9/21/11

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On Sep 20, 12:21 am, Bradley Robertson <b...@whidbey.com> wrote:
> > Would you rather I thought of you as a porn star?
>
> What? I Can't be both?

Of course you can.

I will start immediately on my screenplay, "The Story of B", a
sensitive story of a man who refused to wear drawers because he liked
the feel of his coveralls on his manhood. How do you feel about
paddles?

Bradley Robertson

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Sep 22, 2011, 1:03:35 AM9/22/11

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Paddles? I don't need no stink'n paddles! My callused hand is all I need!

deadfloyd

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Sep 23, 2011, 11:09:28 PM9/23/11

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Yes but you spanking your ass with your own hand does not have the
same dramatic content as a spanking at the hands of another. Remember,
the purpose of this movie is to sell dvds and to fill
seats...er...laps.

Bradley Robertson

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Sep 25, 2011, 10:01:46 PM9/25/11

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Remember,
> the purpose of this movie is to sell dvds and to fill
> seats...er...laps.

Well I am waiting. When will I be able to read the script?

B

deadfloyd

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Sep 25, 2011, 10:59:25 PM9/25/11

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As soon as I stop blushing everytime I use "language".

On a side note, do you have snakes on the secret island?

Floyd

Bradley Robertson

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Sep 26, 2011, 10:09:40 AM9/26/11

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>
> On a side note, do you have snakes on the secret island?
>
> Floyd

Gardener snakes.

deadfloyd

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Sep 26, 2011, 6:54:59 PM9/26/11

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Yes. These have recently been added to Newfoundland's wildlife
too...however that is better than the introduction of pythons (Rock
and Burmese) which is taking place in Florida now. What would motivate
someone to have these things as pets, let alone release them to the
wild there where they are thriving and becoming a threat to the human
populace? Oh well, somewhere else in the world where I need not go.