Hollywood surrealism for Oscars
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CATHERINE Zeta-Jones who won Best Supporting Actress for singing and dancing in
"Chicago": "Music is important to me. I had Tom Jones playing when I gave birth
to Dylan."
The Boston Herald's Stephen Schaefer asked Chris Cooper how it felt to have
been a front-runner. The Best Supporting winner replied: "Your paper did not
feel the same way."
Now, before the Oscarcast, Susan Sarandon: "I'm a presenter, so I'll play by
the rules. Were I a winner, I'd use my 45 seconds to denounce this war." And
strongly anti-war Bono, around in backwards cap and earrings, said he'd obey
the rules when performing his "Gangs of New York" song: "You do what you're
asked to do."
Hollywood. Home of make-believe. Its glitzy Oscars' wartime deglitzing is not
unreal - it's surreal. Even to accessories. Came the bombing, nominee Queen
Latifah ditched her $100,000 black and white diamond-studded Lana Marks purse
for a little fabric bag. Saddam is hell on fashion.
With most of Planet Earth in lockdown this week, moviedom did what it does
best. Produced a script. Instant Sincerity.
The set was barricades, perimeters, dogs, layers of Bill Bratton/John
Miller-led cops, no red carpet, no press access, no outdoor fans.
Telecast music was redone. Less "Hooray for Hollywood," more "Schindler's
List."
P.R. was tailored. Clients told: "Shut your mouth. Remember the Dixie Chicks."
The aroma must've been the way that McCarthy blacklist era smelled.
Wardrobe was appropriate. Best Actor nominee Adrien Brody's black leather
jacket featured a peace pin. The war will someday be over. The holes in his
lapel are forever.
Nicole Kidman, filming "Birth" in New York through Thursday, flew in Friday,
spent Saturday and Sunday downsizing her glamour. Changes included shoes, bag,
jewelry. The first time ever, Donatella Versace and Giorgio Armani did not come
to dress their stars.
Events were choreographed. Parties - Peter O'Toole's, George Clooney's, Barry
Diller's, Paramount's, Elton John's - were private. No media. No reporting the
good time had by all. Vanity Fair allowed selected press just hours before the
show.
Like agent Ed Limato's private thing. Supporting nomineees Kathy Bates (dressed
down and dark), Christopher Walken with his wife, nominated directors Rob
"Chicago" Marshall and Pedro "Talk To Her" Almodovar sipped and supped with
Sheryl Crow, Robert Downey Jr., Vin Diesel, Matthew McConaughey, the Hilton
Sisters feeling they could party away and the press wouldn't know. Really?!
Like Thora Birch, a slip of a girl in a slip of a slip dress: "I'm not doing
the Oscars but I'm going to the parties after."
Oscarcast producer Gil Cates worked the phones non-stop, begging presenters,
"Do not go anti-President."
Being Triple A thesps, some actors were cool. Nominee Michael Caine, who's sold
off all his restaurants, said: "So I had to go back to work to make a living
and here I am again as a working actor. This is my sixth time around."
Nominee Daniel Day-Lewis appeared far from the ferocious "Gangs of New York"
butcher. Kissing a baby, hugging pals, telling me happily: "Everything's been
great here. It's all been quite nice. It was my first time going to Harvey
Weinstein's Miramax party."
Nominee John C. Reilly: "An exciting thing was Mayor Daley having me narrate my
hometown Chicago's St. Patrick's Day parade. I'm Irish, from Chicago, I brought
my family, I'm nominated for 'Chicago.' What could be better?"
Barring being onstage nominees mostly dressed Downmarket:
Julianne Moore featured blue jeans, red filmy blouse, silver trimmed brown
shoulder bag. And, yes, she and her children's dad, Bart Freundlich, "plan a
wedding in four months."
Queen Latifah featured blue jeans, lowlowlowlowcut black blouse, diamond
earrings. And, yes, she plans to go away for a rest. "Just someplace where
nobody speaks English."
An exception was decollete Salma Hayek in black and white Armani. So snug that
a bikini wax could have changed the fit. "Listen, don't think I don't eat. I
always eat. If I'm happy, I eat; unhappy, I eat. If I'm nervous, I eat. Not
nervous, I eat. I eat alot."
Renée Zellweger showed noplace beforehand. "Too nervous," she said. An insider
who fears death if her identity's revealed explained why Renée didn't sing with
fellow nominee Catherine Zeta-Jones: "She's an actress, not a performer.
Uncomfortable singing in front of people. Her not singing was deliberately
withheld until after the nominations because no one wanted problems for Renée."
Brit director Stephen Daldry, nominee for "The Hours," expects his wife's baby
in April. "But we're not going back. We're not leaving. Where'd you want to
have your baby - England or America?"
Nominee Jack Nicholson: "I was already considered bald and wrinkled in my 30s.
Most people who said that then are bald and wrinkled themselves now."
Marty Richards, producer of Best Picture nominee "Chicago," chickened out of
escorting me to Harvey Weinstein's pre-Oscar Miramax party: "I don't feel well.
Everyone's pulled me everywhere. To every buffet. I haven't eaten properly. Not
one decent dinner."