assistance please
Lavender
How would you evaluate this letter recieved through an annon posting
sevice for readers of asar?
>
> I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and
> crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on
> my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of
> heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees,
> I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.
> Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
>
> I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing,
> I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging
> speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I
> am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in
> Peru.
>
> Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once
> single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin
> from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello,
> I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous
> documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension
> bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On
> Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free
> of charge.
>
> I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless
> bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of
> corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private
> citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number
> nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured
> New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration.
> I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame
> in international botany circles. Children trust me.
>
> I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with
> deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and
> David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish
> an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location
> of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed
> covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do
> sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I
> successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had
> seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to
> me.
>
> I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all
> paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in
> full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of
> life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary
> four course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I
> breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan,
> cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at
> the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed
> open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
>
> But I have not yet met a woman under a pale moon on a
> breezy evening
> in Montego Bay...
>
>
and how would you reply
and an all comments welcome either publicly or in private e-mail
ehugs to all who need them and please send one back my way. I could
use a few right about now !!!
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Karl_Kl...@cs.cmu.edu
How would you evaluate this letter recieved through an annon posting
sevice for readers of asar?
> I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and
> crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on
> my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of
> heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees,
> ...
<smile>
I first saw that as a personal posted to alt.personals.ads Fri, 25 Sep
via my ACS here. I replied to the person to thank him for a truly
funny personal, to which he responded that it wasn't original to him,
that it was from (if I remember correctly) a Saturday Night Live skit.
The text here is the same, though the paragraphs are slightly
reformatted.
I'd never seen it before. It was a lot of fun to read.
and how would you reply
Ask him what's involved in "full-contact origami." Or maybe the name
of that small Amazon Basin village. Or how many bridges are currently
taking up space in his yard. Or what event the weekend passes were
for. Or to try to remember the forgotten meaning of life for you.
In other words, don't take him too seriously. Just enjoy it.
ehugs to all who need them and please send one back my way. I could
use a few right about now !!!
One emphatic <ehug> your way...
++karl
Teresa Kline
>
>How would you evaluate this letter recieved through an annon posting
>sevice for readers of asar?
I would laugh...which is what I did.
>
>and how would you reply
Personally??? I wouldn't.
>ehugs to all who need them and please send one back my way. I could
>use a few right about now !!!
Then have several
*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*
Gentleness to all
-- Teresa
Life -- just for the FUN of it!!!!
Matthew Fields
liar who isn't seeking help. Such a liar doesn't sound like they'd make
much of a friend. Sounds like a nusiance. The international agreement
on computer networking privledges says that you can simply tell that
person to stop sending you mail. If they ever send you mail again, you
can complain to, e.g., Wells, who could either simply make it impossible for
that address to send messages through his system, or forward complaints back
to administrators at the site at which the offending mail came from, and
let them handle it.
I'd laugh too, if I didn't think the person who wrote that letter was
terminally insecure and severely out of touch, and hasn't figured out
the difference between asar and alt.tall.tales or alt.personals.
Matthew Fields
Sounds like Robert Heinlein admitting that his life is
much more Proofrockish than the Lazarus-Longish. So much
the wishful thinker.
But he's found the wrong people to pester.
Lydia Uribe
>
>How would you evaluate this letter recieved through an annon posting
>sevice for readers of asar?
[long and rather fantastically egotistical letter deleted]
That was one of the funniest (not to mention longest) pickup lines I've ever
seen.... ;-)
>and how would you reply
Since I'm happily married, I wouldn't.
>ehugs to all who need them and please send one back my way. I could
>use a few right about now !!!
OK, here's a big e-hug for you -- >>>>> HUG!! <<<<<
Lydia
anon...@twwells.com
anonym...@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
"You're more than beginning -- you're learning to fly;
You feel like you're falling, but it passes in time...."
"From Me to You", Janis Ian
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Soprano (Lydia M. Uribe) ur...@jarthur.claremont.edu |
| Claremont, CA ur...@HMCVAX.BITNET |
| Cats, quilts and diving -- what more could anyone ask? |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
darkangel
(well, it worked...eventually...)
:)
darkangel
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Ed Carp
humor... :)
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Ed Carp, N7EKG e...@apple.com 801/538-0177
"This is the final task I will ever give you, and it goes on forever. Act
happy, feel happy, be happy, without a reason in the world. Then you can love,
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