{ASSD} GRR!
Vinnie Tesla
think I shall scream. If it's part of the phrase "we were soon in a
classic 69" I shall scream and break something.
For an extra ten points, include the phrase "We were soon in a
postmodern 69" in your next story.
--
-Vinnie
vinnie...@yahoo.com
http://www.asstr.org/~vinnie_tesla/
He polishes birds of the Vista
mat twassel
>
>The next time I encounter the phrase "a classic 69" in a sex story, I
>think I shall scream.
Maybe it was a typo. Maybe the author meant to write "class of 69."
Because in the classic 69, you know, words have a way of getting gargled. Er,
gurgled. Er, um, garbled.
So what is a classic 69, anyway? Does it matter who's on top? Is a sideways
69 classic? What about a standing 69? (With or without the mandatory eight
count.) A free-fall 69?
--Mat Twassel
Mat's Erotic Calendar at http://calendar.atEros.com
NightShade
Tesla) wrote:
>The next time I encounter the phrase "a classic 69" in a sex story, I
>think I shall scream. If it's part of the phrase "we were soon in a
>classic 69" I shall scream and break something.
>
>For an extra ten points, include the phrase "We were soon in a
>postmodern 69" in your next story.
I drove a classic '69 once. Piece of shit Rambler...
Actually, I prefer the classic 66 (or the ever popular 99 for the
upper division.) The 69 is good for livening up things on occasion,
but after 25 years of marriage, most often we end up in the ever
popular 96. Unless I start snoring, and then its just a 9. 6 is
sleeping on the couch with a pillow over her head, hoping the roof
doesn't shake apart again....
NightShade
If it wasn't for all the idiots,
We might actually have to deal with something that mattered.
cmsix
"NightShade" <i_m_nig...@removethis.hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:u8ilnus1e13otejbb...@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 08 Sep 2002 01:19:23 GMT, vinnie...@yahoo.com (Vinnie
> Tesla) wrote:
>
> >The next time I encounter the phrase "a classic 69" in a sex story, I
> >think I shall scream. If it's part of the phrase "we were soon in a
> >classic 69" I shall scream and break something.
> >
> >For an extra ten points, include the phrase "We were soon in a
> >postmodern 69" in your next story.
>
> I drove a classic '69 once. Piece of shit Rambler...
>
> Actually, I prefer the classic 66 (or the ever popular 99 for the
> upper division.) The 69 is good for livening up things on occasion,
> but after 25 years of marriage, most often we end up in the ever
> popular 96. Unless I start snoring, and then its just a 9. 6 is
> sleeping on the couch with a pillow over her head, hoping the roof
> doesn't shake apart again....
>
> NightShade
Selfish male that I am I prefer the classic 68. "Just blow me baby and I'll
owe you one."
cmsix
Jeff Zephyr
Tesla) wrote:
>The next time I encounter the phrase "a classic 69" in a sex story, I
>think I shall scream. If it's part of the phrase "we were soon in a
>classic 69" I shall scream and break something.
There is probably some reason for that term. I can't remember using
it; please remind me if I have.
OK, I could think of a reason for it, but it would be like something
we were always doing. If not we as in the couple doing it, everyone
else we knew, everyone else in the room at the party, or something
like that.
Do they also do "a classic fuck" or "a classic blow job"?
Classic *does* also mean something like exceptionally good, or
ironically, funny in a way which makes the situation exceptional --
worth telling as a "classic" tale. Not necessarily old or
old-fashioned. Language is funny like that.
>For an extra ten points, include the phrase "We were soon in a
>postmodern 69" in your next story.
That would be a challenge. Maybe you should give us an example? :-)
--
Jeff
Web site at http://www.asstr.org/~jeffzephyr/
For FTP, ftp://ftp.asstr.org/pub/Authors/jeffzephyr/
There is nothing more important than petting the cat.
Jeff Zephyr
>Vinnie writes:
>>
>>The next time I encounter the phrase "a classic 69" in a sex story, I
>>think I shall scream.
>
>Maybe it was a typo. Maybe the author meant to write "class of 69."
>
>Because in the classic 69, you know, words have a way of getting gargled. Er,
>gurgled. Er, um, garbled.
Learning how to talk with your mouth full is one of childhood's
lessons. Some parents do try to instill the rule of not talking while
eating, but it does get in the way of some sexy conversations.
>So what is a classic 69, anyway? Does it matter who's on top? Is a sideways
>69 classic? What about a standing 69? (With or without the mandatory eight
>count.) A free-fall 69?
Hmm, I suppose we could start counting all the ways.
Vinnie Tesla
"classic 69"
ASSM: 100 hits
ASS* 495 hits (hit #1: this thread)
"classic sixty nine"
assm: 43 hits
ASS*: 149 hits
Vinnie Tesla
<i_m_nig...@removethis.hotmail.com>:
>Actually, I prefer the classic 66 (or the ever popular 99 for the
>upper division.) The 69 is good for livening up things on occasion,
>but after 25 years of marriage, most often we end up in the ever
>popular 96. Unless I start snoring, and then its just a 9. 6 is
>sleeping on the couch with a pillow over her head, hoping the roof
>doesn't shake apart again....
>
LOL!
I'm not sure the record bears you out, though:
http://groups.google.com/groups?as_epq=classic%2069&as_uauthors=NightShade&lr=&hl=en
NightShade
Tesla) wrote:
>On 08 Sep 2002 03:56:42 GMT, quoth the NightShade
><i_m_nig...@removethis.hotmail.com>:
>
>
>>Actually, I prefer the classic 66 (or the ever popular 99 for the
>>upper division.) The 69 is good for livening up things on occasion,
>>but after 25 years of marriage, most often we end up in the ever
>>popular 96. Unless I start snoring, and then its just a 9. 6 is
>>sleeping on the couch with a pillow over her head, hoping the roof
>>doesn't shake apart again....
>>
>LOL!
>
>I'm not sure the record bears you out, though:
>
>http://groups.google.com/groups?as_epq=classic%2069&as_uauthors=NightShade&lr=&hl=en
So, in all my stories, I've used the term three times. And once in
the phrase "a non-classic 69" where the participants in the act were a
human female and a male canine. The use of the term "non-classic"
would, of couse, imply that there is a classic form.
But I'm a little confused. Are you saying the term "a classic 69" is
an oxymoron? Or that the authors who use the term are morons, oxy or
otherwise?
Or are you siding with the literary prohibitionists who want to
regulate the use of the English language on the basis of current
political correctness. (You should start humming the tune "Don't Fence
Me In" for the remainder of this diatribe...) Like the schoolboard
who last week formally reprimanded a teacher for teaching the young
skulls full of mush in her care that a synonym for 'stingy' is
'niggardly'. Just think of the Hell that would have broken loose if
she had use the term 'penurious'. Every board member with a short
prick would take umbrage with that word simply because the word looks
like penis, and damnitall if all the letters aren't there. Who the
Fuck cares what the origin of the word is. Or is that whole concept
an oxymoron, as all schoolboard members are automatically big pricks,
regardless of sex? Maybe they wouldn't care after all...
(Fade to silence... Go kick a cat.)
Sagittaria
news:r5cnnucjno2p2qto8...@4ax.com:
> Or are you siding with the literary prohibitionists who want to
> regulate the use of the English language on the basis of current
> political correctness. (You should start humming the tune "Don't
> Fence Me In" for the remainder of this diatribe...) Like the
> schoolboard who last week formally reprimanded a teacher for
> teaching the young skulls full of mush in her care that a synonym
> for 'stingy' is 'niggardly'. Just think of the Hell that would
> have broken loose if she had use the term 'penurious'. Every
> board member with a short prick would take umbrage with that word
> simply because the word looks like penis, and damnitall if all the
> letters aren't there.
Unfortunately I deleted the email, but I was recently forwarded a story
of a business person who was almost fired for using the term
"pedagogical" ... a VP didn't want any of those perverts working at her
company. I didn't check it out to see if the story was true but I
wouldn't be surprised if it was.
--
---->Sagittaria<----
Sex Code v. 1.2: http://www.digitalkingdom.org/~rlpowell/sexcode.html
SVaMa/St/FeEr A33 W H+:++++ w+++ h++ D++ E+ P56.2 ?ag-- ar+ ?Ag+ Ar++
b- ?B- ?Bs--- cr+++ C++ ?Cd-- ?Co-- d+ Di- e f F-- ?Fi ?g++ i+++ I---
k++ m++ Ma n- p- ?P--- ?Pi--- r- s-- S- ?Sc---- ?Sw t+ T wa+ ?Wa---
NightShade
<sagit...@softhome.net> wrote:
>NightShade <i_m_nig...@removethis.hotmail.com> wrote in
>news:r5cnnucjno2p2qto8...@4ax.com:
>
>> Or are you siding with the literary prohibitionists who want to
>> regulate the use of the English language on the basis of current
>> political correctness. (You should start humming the tune "Don't
>> Fence Me In" for the remainder of this diatribe...) Like the
>> schoolboard who last week formally reprimanded a teacher for
>> teaching the young skulls full of mush in her care that a synonym
>> for 'stingy' is 'niggardly'. Just think of the Hell that would
>> have broken loose if she had use the term 'penurious'. Every
>> board member with a short prick would take umbrage with that word
>> simply because the word looks like penis, and damnitall if all the
>> letters aren't there.
>
>Unfortunately I deleted the email, but I was recently forwarded a story
>of a business person who was almost fired for using the term
>"pedagogical" ... a VP didn't want any of those perverts working at her
>company. I didn't check it out to see if the story was true but I
>wouldn't be surprised if it was.
Now THAT's classic. 69 or otherwise!
den...@tanstaafl.zipcon.net.invalid
<i_m_nig...@removethis.hotmail.com> wrote:
Sagittaria:
>>Unfortunately I deleted the email, but I was recently forwarded a story
>>of a business person who was almost fired for using the term
>>"pedagogical" ... a VP didn't want any of those perverts working at her
>>company. I didn't check it out to see if the story was true but I
>>wouldn't be surprised if it was.
>
>Now THAT's classic. 69 or otherwise!
Can't allow those deviated pree-verts to pollute our precious bodily
fluids, ya know.
den...@tanstaafl.zipcon.net.invalid
Tesla) wrote:
>On 08 Sep 2002 03:56:42 GMT, quoth the NightShade
><i_m_nig...@removethis.hotmail.com>:
>
>
>>Actually, I prefer the classic 66 (or the ever popular 99 for the
>>upper division.) The 69 is good for livening up things on occasion,
>>but after 25 years of marriage, most often we end up in the ever
>>popular 96. Unless I start snoring, and then its just a 9. 6 is
>>sleeping on the couch with a pillow over her head, hoping the roof
>>doesn't shake apart again....
>>
>LOL!
>
>I'm not sure the record bears you out, though:
>
>http://groups.google.com/groups?as_epq=classic%2069&as_uauthors=NightShade&lr=&hl=en
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jordan Shelbourne
>
> > Do they also do "a classic fuck" or "a classic blow job"?
I seem to recall seeing "classic missionary position" several
times in various stories.
>
> >For an extra ten points, include the phrase "We were soon in a
> >postmodern 69" in your next story.
>
> That would be a challenge. Maybe you should give us an example? :-)
A MATTER OF STYLE
"What's your style?" Sharon asked me and waggled her unibrow. Very Frida
Kohler, that unibrow.
"None," I told her. "I'm a male flower. I've got a stamen instead of
a style." I helped her pull the kangaroo jacket over her head.
It left her dark hair in delightful disarray.
She grinned. "But you're a pistil." She untucked my shirt. No, not a
T-shirt...only barbarians tuck in T-shirts.
"Let us therefore proceed petal to the metal." I debated choosing her singlet
or the location of her petals, but decided I wanted the buds first and
nibbled a nipple through her singlet. They were apparent before I started
and obvious after I left two damp spots on her top.
She made a little purring sound. "That's an old phrase...nostalgic," she told
me, and skinned up her singlet herself. "Kind of sepal-toned." I would actually
describe her nipples as berry-brown instead of sepia, but I was simply a
bio geek rather than an arts major.
"Damn. I'm out of puns. I have to leaf this train of thought alone." The
small of her back was warm and firm against my palms, and I had brought her
nipples to slick erection. She let me continue, but I had hopes for mine
own erection later.
"Ewww. Branching out?" She brushed her hand over the fly of my jeans, up
to where the head of my cock was just peeking out of the waistband.
"Trying to get to the root of the problem." I moaned as she stroked the
very tip of my cock.
"I think I see the seed of the situation," she said, and then, "and that
kind of takes us back to style, doesn't it?"
She had been my lab partner for intro bio in freshman year, and since she
was secretly in arts, our paths had not crossed. Now, however...
"Style?" I murmured, my eyes half-closed.
""I'll give you the anther then. I have this theory." She unbuttoned my
jeans...I favored button flies in those days. "All activities can be
classified as classic, modern, and post-modern." She faltered a bit there
when I began stroking her mound through her jeans. "Styles of activities, I
mean."
"So this is classic foreplay?" I got her jeans unzipped and saw that
she wore white undies with the word "Hi!" on the crotch in red thread.
"I should be saying, 'Come to daddy'?"
"No, classic probably involves more she gives, he takes. This is modern
foreplay." She pushed my jeans to the floor, used my hard cock as a lever
to lower the front of my briefs.
"And post-modern would be you laying back and me doing the rest of the work?"
I kissed her neck and shoulder. The touch of her hands on me made me
shiver.
"Maybe." She grinned as she stepped out of her pants.
"Let's try being post-modern for a moment." I knelt in front of her and kissed
my way up her thighs, then sort of walked her back towards the sofa, me on
my knees, my face between her legs. With my hands on her ass I had a pretty
good idea of when she was going to fall onto the sofa, and I peeled her panties
down to her knees as she was falling.
"Mmmmm." She threw the panties aside--we never found them again, I don't
know what happened to them--and spread her knees for me. I licked the soft
flesh inside her thighs and then breathed on her vulva. They were like
petals, elongated and inviting, and I licked them slowly, deliberately,
measuring her response to each touch. I took my post-modern time, and
after a while she was clutching my head to her.
And a little while after that, she could speak again. "I want to suck your
cock."
"I like kissing you here." We tried the classic 69--she claimed that
was with the man on top, but the couch wasn't really long enough--and then
the modern 69, where I got on top, but that didn't make the couch any
longer. Finally we decided to lie on our sides on the floor. We were soon
in a postmodern 69.
And on one particularly lovely swallow she did something with her throat and
it made me come, all unexpectedly, and she pulled back, giggling and coughing.
"Sorry," she said but I waved one hand weakly as solace and concentrated on
her clit until she didn't need to talk any more.
And when we could both speak again, I said, "Wow. What was that?"
"I laughed."
"You laughed?"
"I had a funny thought. Not 'Come to daddy,' but 'Come to dada.'" She was
starting to giggle again.
"Ah. Dada 69 is...?"
"Man with duck, woman eats oatmeal."
I was sure there was a better punchline, but I liked her style.
J.
Vinnie Tesla
Shelbourne):
>A MATTER OF STYLE
>
Did I say ten points? That gets fifty! And that's after taking off
twenty-five for those puns.
Jeff Zephyr
Shelbourne) wrote:
>Jeff Zephyr <jeff...@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:<3d7acd11$0$1429$272e...@news.execpc.com>...
>
>>
>> > Do they also do "a classic fuck" or "a classic blow job"?
>
>I seem to recall seeing "classic missionary position" several
>times in various stories.
I'm sure. I'm not so sure that it is so "classic" as it has a bunch
of minor variations, but there is something about it being the one and
only "original, classic, never duplicated" form of the act which
merits the label "classic".
>> >For an extra ten points, include the phrase "We were soon in a
>> >postmodern 69" in your next story.
>>
>> That would be a challenge. Maybe you should give us an example? :-)
>
>A MATTER OF STYLE
[snipped very good story]
>I was sure there was a better punchline, but I liked her style.
Well, that was a great example.
Vinnie Tesla
Shelbourne):
>Jeff Zephyr <jeff...@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:<3d7acd11$0$1429$272e...@news.execpc.com>...
>
>>
>> > Do they also do "a classic fuck" or "a classic blow job"?
>
>I seem to recall seeing "classic missionary position" several
>times in various stories.
>
"Classic fuck" has been used three times on ASSM. Interestingly enough,
all were as part of the phrase "classic fuck-me [noun]" (shoes, posture,
style).
"Classic blow-job" is another adjectival phrase, applied to look,
movement, action, and motion.
"Classic missionary position" gets 49 hits.
>A MATTER OF STYLE
>
On careful consideration, I think a transvestite and a leather butch
giving each other head is the best example I can think of of a
postmodern 69. I'd certainly pay to watch...
Nicholas Urfe
> I just did a Google search to corroborate.
> "classic 69"
> ASSM: 100 hits
> ASS* 495 hits (hit #1: this thread)
> "classic sixty nine"
> assm: 43 hits
> ASS*: 149 hits
Whereas "soixante-neuf" only gets about 10 hits. (On assm. Apparently,
a lot of Frenchfolk post to ass.)
But hey! "Bottomed out" gets 454 hits on assm. "Kissed my way down to
her" only gets 27, and "kissed my way down to his" only 4--oddly, I'd
expected much more for those betes noir. "Tits OR breasts tumbled"
only gets 18 hits--oy. I'd been expecting MUCH more for that bit of
acrobatics. But! "Cummminggg" gets 18 hits, "cumminggggg" gets 17
hits, and "cummmminggggg" gets 9--while "cuuummmminggggg" gets none at
all.
This is fun, Vinnie.
Best,
--n.
"Enough, for the moment at any rate, of the dildo!"
the no. 1 destination of Google searches for Tatu and Coors twins:
http://www.asstr.org/~nickurfe/ift/
http://www.ruthiesclub.com/
Vinnie Tesla
Urfe):
But! "Cummminggg" gets 18 hits, "cumminggggg" gets 17
>hits, and "cummmminggggg" gets 9--while "cuuummmminggggg" gets none at
>all.
>
Oh, for a search engine with regex support!
Gary Jordan
>A MATTER OF STYLE
Coming <g> on the heels of "I'M A LESBIAN YOU IDIOT", Jordan demonstrates that
it IS a matter of style and that HE has style in buckets-full.
My favorites page has a rather extensive list - but if someone were to attempt
to pin me down to the top five, Jordan would be on it. His website is at
http://www.compu-diva.com/IvoryGates/front.htm and is *always* worth a visit.
Gary Jordan
"Old submariners never die; they just don't get to go down as often."
<I>"This communicating of a man's self to his friend works two contrary
effects, for it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half." - Francis Bacon,
Essays </I>
Selena Jardine
> Jordan Shelbourne wrote:
>
> >A MATTER OF STYLE
>
> Coming <g> on the heels of "I'M A LESBIAN YOU IDIOT", Jordan demonstrates that
> it IS a matter of style and that HE has style in buckets-full.
>
> My favorites page has a rather extensive list - but if someone were to attempt
> to pin me down to the top five, Jordan would be on it. His website is at
> http://www.compu-diva.com/IvoryGates/front.htm and is *always* worth a visit.
>
> Gary Jordan
[tapping dainty hands together until they are red and stinging, and
cheering until she is hoarse, Selena shows that, once again, Gary's
heart and her own beat as one]
Hoorah for Jordan Shelbourne. Funny, literate, smart, and
unbelievably hot.
Oh, and you should read his stories.
Selena
selena...@yahoo.com