Advice needed in picking up Japanese girls
Nani Nani
allowed by this place in order to place my story into context. Before
asking for advice, I think it's best to qualify just how much I NEED
advice! Oh, and before you ask, I don't give this story to chicks.
But you guys here are free to bash me as you will.
I'm a mid-twenties aged guy living and teaching English in
Japan. I work in Shibuya, the heart of youth in Tokyo, and temporary
to a hell of a lot of sexy girls. I go there five or six days a week.
I do not speak Japanese, but most foreigners besides myself seem to
not have a problem with this. This is a very distinct problem that I
get the feeling only expats in Japan would understand. It's a
different world here. This is a world where you can have three girls
invite themselves over to your apartment because they "need a place to
sleep" (yeah!) or start getting laid within three hours of landing.
Well, not me. I've been here (drum roll), 2 years, five months. They
most lame of geeks can get a date in this nation. I can't. Why?
Hard to say exactly. Must be because I have NO CLUE what to say. So
that's why I'm here. Expats in Japan, write me. Tell me what to say,
when to say it and where to go and how. Let me qualify myself yet
again as a person who has damned near no experience even talking to
women, let alone Japanese ones.
No, I'm just bloody tired of living here, watching beautiful
women walk past me without so much as a look when nerd king over next
to me with the social skills of a dead gnat has his girlfriend
screaming through the paper thin walls of my apartment building all
night. If three passion-enraptured girls (from different apartments
all over) screaming the names of their respective boyfriends is not
enough to wake a person up, I'm not sure what is. It must have been
when I saw one guy walk out with two GORGEOUS girls this morning and
kiss them BOTH.
Yeah, I got problems. Slam me if you like, I'm ready to take
it... but I would appreciate something constructive. Just do me a
favor, be basic. Imagine you're talking to someone with so little of
a clue about women, they would make a junior high school boy seem
advanced by comparison. And remember, I have no wingman. And this is
Japan. Japan is REALLY DIFFERENT.
Nani Nani
Book Guy
advice about seduction ...
You're in the right place. The people here have (aside from a few
freakazoids whom, I am sure, you will instantly identify) been supportive
and helpful. There are ways to build confidence, develop skills, learn to be
a new you, and also learn to highlight the best parts of you that people
actually WANT to be involved with, and mostly they're straightforward ways
and techniques of doing this. I don't claim to know how to teach this stuff
to you, but I do know that I'm slowly learning. So, don't despair, and
there's no need to get down on yourself. Other people on this newsgroup will
direct you to useful advice, and now I'm going to offer you some web links
that you can read up on. I list these in my personal order of preference:
http://www.tranceboy.co.uk/sexguide
http://www.fastseduction.com
http://www.pickupguide.com
http://members.home.net/odious
http://www.cybersheet.com/library.html
http://www.seduction.com
Among these free links, you may find some links to commercial stuff that you
can buy. I don't recommend you buy anything until AFTER you've exhausted all
the free links, if only because this is about HAVING FUN and GETTING WHAT
YOU DESERVE rather than being taken advantage of. Much of the expensive
stuff is available in different format for free somewhere else on the web.
After you've gotten your way through all that, and the other stuff people
recommend, THEN you should go look at buying something if you think you need
it. If you don't have regular internet access, then please take out some
specific 'net time to e-mail me so that you and I can work out a different
method for you to read this stuff. If your 'net access is good, then go
right ahead and dive in!
There are one or two "pick up artists" who hang out at this newsgroup and
also live in Tokyo. Maybe they can offer more specific advice, or meet with
you and let you watch them work, or something. I can't volunteer their
services for them - it's up to you to figure out who they are and try to
contact them. They seem like nice guys, from what I've read here on the
newsgroup. The great thing about this newsgroup, is that everyone knows what
it's like to feel like a frustrated chump, and so we all sympathize.
Elsewhere in life, men may browbeat you for your failures, and offer useless
machismo advice ("ya gotta get OUT there! stop bein' such a WEENIE!" and
other wastes of air time) all of which is just cover for the fact that they
don't know any more about it than you do. In these 'net resources, on the
other hand, people actually offer something you can use, which gives to a
reader (to me, at least) great hope. It isn't just a bunch of pep talks,
it's SPECIFIC SKILLS that, sorry to say, you and I weren't taught by our
uncle Larry. Well, this newsgroup is your uncle Larry.
Finally, I sympathize. My experiences are just as frustrating, sometimes.
People respond positively to the damnedest things, and for some reason I
haven't been one of those things lately. I'm learning to change that. You
and me and the internet, man ... we're getting better step by step. A few
weeks ago I visited a prostitute about twice a month - at a lingerie
modeling studio, or in the back room of a sleazy strip club, or just by
calling majorly expensive escorts. I've already lost the desire for that, as
I start to realize that sex and personal growth and gratification and all
that other NORMAL human stuff are well within my rights and well within my
abilities. It's exciting to be improving, and I invite you to join me. I'm
with ya. E-mail me if you'd like.
--
Book Guy
"To subdue the enemy without fighting is the highest skill." Sun Tzu
Nani Nani <tsuba...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:39e9d0b3...@news.cpinternet.com...
spicetr...@my-deja.com
is what you do. You see a girl somewhere, anywhere and tell her. My
friend is having a party, want to come? Don't forget to smile. She will
say. she doesn't know...pause...you say: YEAH you're comming, take her
hand and bring her home, fuck the shit out of her. done...if that's
what you want. Damn its easier than you think japan-man
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
kip...@my-deja.com
tsuba...@yahoo.com wrote:
> Allow me to first out myself under the guise of anonymity
> allowed by this place in order to place my story into context. Before
> asking for advice, I think it's best to qualify just how much I NEED
> advice! Oh, and before you ask, I don't give this story to chicks.
> But you guys here are free to bash me as you will.
!!!! I can`t believe this is real. I mean, I didn`t get any until 6
months plus, but I also didn`t try. You seem articulate. If you`ve
lived here for 2.5 yrs & know `Nani Nani` you should have some Japanese
skills. Are you married, desperately broke, don`t bathe, bad breath
or some other constraint you`re hiding?
I think you`re a poser. Now I`m not saying EVERY guy should be
swimmin` in women in Japan - I myself have hit a speedbump although off
to get the ego-lay w/ Ms Hokkaido tomorrow - but you should have at
least 1 or 2 semi-serious prospects (e.g., GFs if you`re terrible at
pick-ups). I can see how you envy the guys working 3Ps - hell, I am
sometimes - but again getting 1 or 2 in a relationship-type way is
afucking easy hurdle (pun intended). Your post makes no sense: how
can you teach English but not be able to talk - at least rudimentarily -
to girls.
Why don`t you take lessons from nerd-king w/ the social skills of a
gnat? He must be doing something right. As to what to say, doesn`t
matter. Do the 3-second rule & say FUCKING ANYTHING w/ a smile, warm
demeanor, clothes that aren`t from the starvation army and you should
have an `in` with at least 1 out of 5 girls. Also, Shibuya bitches can
be tsumetaii (cold). Why not try Roppongi, where chicks who want to
get dip-sticked (most, not all) by foreigners will hang out?
If you could provide more evidence you`re real - I DO NOT WANT to rip
anyone up as I myself was a late bloomer thru mid-20s - I`d be more
than happy to offer suggestions & maybe even wing w/ you for a try.
-CU, Kipp
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kip...@my-deja.com
spicetr...@my-deja.com wrote:
> FUCK this bullshit. You're in Japan man, the girls are ALL easy...this
> is what you do. You see a girl somewhere, anywhere and tell her. My
> friend is having a party, want to come? Don't forget to smile. She
will
> say. she doesn't know...pause...you say: YEAH you're comming, take her
> hand and bring her home, fuck the shit out of her. done...if that's
> what you want. Damn its easier than you think japan-man
!!!!ST-san, sounds like you talk from experience! Generally agree,
particularly in the Roppongi scene. I`ve never tried that specific line
However, taking the hand & walking to another venue (street,
coffeeshop, etc) is generally a damn easy segueway into back to your
bed (in my case Love Hotel). Kino is King in Japan club scenes, which
even young bro`s like Rio need to get up to speed on IMHO. Fuck
patterns, when you just take the hand, smile, & LEAD like you say!
I think I`ll try that line this weekend - about the friend`s party
(should work, in one porn vid I watched a really HOT, perfect large-
breasted chick said in the interview she had done a foreinger w/ her
friend (3P) at the foreigners` `party` in Shibuya; the downer was she
said that J-guys were probably better [but the audience was J-men, so
what was she fucking supposed to say?].
CU, Kipp
Nani Nani
>months plus, but I also didn`t try. You seem articulate. If you`ve
>lived here for 2.5 yrs & know `Nani Nani` you should have some Japanese
>skills. Are you married, desperately broke, don`t bathe, bad breath
>or some other constraint you`re hiding?
Not married, have a little money, wash twice a day, brush three times
and love Frisk mints.
>I think you`re a poser. Now I`m not saying EVERY guy should be
>swimmin` in women in Japan - I myself have hit a speedbump although off
>to get the ego-lay w/ Ms Hokkaido tomorrow - but you should have at
>least 1 or 2 semi-serious prospects (e.g., GFs if you`re terrible at
>pick-ups). I can see how you envy the guys working 3Ps - hell, I am
>sometimes - but again getting 1 or 2 in a relationship-type way is
>afucking easy hurdle (pun intended). Your post makes no sense: how
>can you teach English but not be able to talk - at least rudimentarily -
> to girls.
I teach at a 'serious' school. No chatting. We have tons of
students, and every class is different. I will be simply fired if I
do anything with a student, and since I'm not fishing for GF's, they'd
blab. The classes are monumentally uncomfortable.
I can't afford to lose my job, it took me three months to get this
one.
As to me being a poser? Not sure exactly what you mean. I'm
lying? Would anyone lie about this? I don't like to come off as
pathetic, but I figure I gotta lose some dignity at least in the eyes
of people who KNOW how to do what I want to do and seem to have the
ability to tell me. *and won't insult me for needing to know*
> Why don`t you take lessons from nerd-king w/ the social skills of a
>gnat? He must be doing something right. As to what to say, doesn`t
>matter. Do the 3-second rule & say FUCKING ANYTHING w/ a smile, warm
Not sure where he goes or what he does. I'm in a gaijin house
so I really don't know who he is.
BTW, I know it seems simple for you to make conversation but
that's 'cause you take it for granted. I just can't. I know that
sounds weird. It's not a complaint. Just an assessment I wish I
didn't have to deal with.
>demeanor, clothes that aren`t from the starvation army and you should
>have an `in` with at least 1 out of 5 girls. Also, Shibuya bitches can
>be tsumetaii (cold). Why not try Roppongi, where chicks who want to
>get dip-sticked (most, not all) by foreigners will hang out?
I've never been to Roppongi. I really don't know where I'd go
and what I'd do there. Not that I won't try... but I really need some
ideas.
>If you could provide more evidence you`re real - I DO NOT WANT to rip
>anyone up as I myself was a late bloomer thru mid-20s - I`d be more
>than happy to offer suggestions & maybe even wing w/ you for a try.
I really appreciate what you're saying. It's more than what most
anyone has said before by far, and more helpful at the very least!
Not sure what I could say other than what kind of fool would lie about
the stuff that I'm saying? *hehe* You can always email me. Every
post here has my mail.
Hope I don't come off as rude. As you might have guessed, from my
experience, my social skills are too lacking.
Nani Nani
no offense. I'm just so out of line that I have no idea what's real
and what's not sometimes.
spicetr...@my-deja.com
tsuba...@yahoo.com wrote:
> Sounds great. Is this something you can really do?
> no offense. I'm just so out of line that I have no idea what's real
> and what's not sometimes.
time for a reality check? I think you sound like a cool guy, just try
bringing it across I think many girls would like you if they'd get to
know you better. Everything starts with a smile...
spicetr...@my-deja.com
> One thing about Japan, everybody says it's so easy, but it's not
unless you
> get out and approach!
well..sounds pretty easy
I have never seen chicks make the moves here. What
> they do, is they make themselves "available" a lot and wait for you
to move.
> Be aware of this type of behavior and strike when the iron's hot.
that's the fucking way it is..no matter where you are in case you
havn'e been out of nippon for a while
Book Guy
> allowed by this place in order to place my story into context. Before
> asking for advice, I think it's best to qualify just how much I NEED
> advice!
[snip snip whole thread snipped]
Some guys have come down hard on you, some have suggested you're making up
stories. But don't let that get you down or convince you that you aren't
wanted or that the advice from this newsgroup won't be helpful. Generally,
males have one of two possible reactions to someone admitting publicly that
he's been failing at something often considered machismo. Possible reaction
number one: "gee, what a weenie. Stop being a wimp! You're lying! Life is
great and you are getting me down." Possible reaction number two: "I
understand where you've been, and although I am not full of all the answers
I will offer you some that I do know."
It's important to understand reaction number one, the macho reaction. This
is just cover for the fact that they've got nothing helpful to say. Your own
complaints, about failure with women, remind them of a time when perhaps
(for no good reason? totally inexplicably?) they also failed with women.
Rather than relive that hurt, they choose to deny it. Rather than offer aid,
they choose to fulfill their own needs. And, in the case of advancing with
women, generally their need is to remind themselves to act more Alpha-Male
around women. What does this mean? well, it means, they act more Alpha-Male
around you, too. Unfortunately, that short-circuits any helpful advice they
might otherwise have offered.
So, try to ferret out the difference between reaction one and reaction two,
and learn from two. Even in the same context, or among the same people,
you'll be getting both. The first is about them; ignore it, and learn by
observing it. The second is about you; listen to it, and learn by heeding
it.
I hope this has been as much of reaction two as I could muster. Now for some
one: STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF. Back to two: we've all been there, and
with the application of specific skills and techniques you can indeed change
your attitudes and your effectiveness in life, among women and jobs and
careers and happiness and all that other macho stuff. Good luck, and listen
to what Tokyo PUA and others have to say. Listen. Be silent and listen. Do
not talk about how sad you are, what a soppish sack you are, what a loser
you are. Just listen. Say "thank you" and "gosh, OK, umm it seems strange,
but I'll write it down and memorize it anyway," and "I don't understand yet,
but I'm trying." Never ever say, "It won't work because" or "that's not
right because" or "you aren't telling me because" or "but but but but it all
seems so ...". Just listen.
Nani Nani
>In article <39eb1c61...@news.cpinternet.com>,
> tsuba...@yahoo.com wrote:
>> Sounds great. Is this something you can really do?
>> no offense. I'm just so out of line that I have no idea what's real
>> and what's not sometimes.
>
>time for a reality check? I think you sound like a cool guy, just try
>bringing it across I think many girls would like you if they'd get to
>know you better. Everything starts with a smile...
>
Thanks.
But the original post? Was it serious or not? I freely admit to not
being 100% if it is or is not possible.
spicetr...@my-deja.com
> >> and what's not sometimes.
> >
> >time for a reality check? I think you sound like a cool guy, just try
> >bringing it across I think many girls would like you if they'd get to
> >know you better. Everything starts with a smile...
> >
>
> Thanks.
> But the original post? Was it serious or not? I freely admit to not
> being 100% if it is or is not possible.
Do you play pool? In pool there is a thing called a straight-in shot.
it's the easiest thing to do, you think. But its not. You will fail at
least half the time striking a ball striaght from the middle of the
table into a corner..a simple straight shot no matter how you practice.
When I practice that shot, I realized something. I might not be able to
offer a sure way to make the shot. I can offer a sure way to miss it.
Just start thinking miss, and sure enough you will. Missing is the
fulfillment of expectation. Expectation is what we train our minds to
achieve. So, if your brain believes you expect to miss, it will use
your the nervous system to instruct your muscles to do just that. Your
brain acts on what you expect, not what you wish. Practice is a method
of conditioning our minds to respond to positive expectations.
Practice is the only way to build confidence in anything. Pool is no
different. It may not make you a world champion, but it will galvanize
your skills against doubt and apprehension. Champions believe with all
of their hearts that they deserve to be champion. They are right. It is
no coincidence that they practice regularly, and that they are well
conditioned, positive thinkers. They expect to win, and the brain does
everything it can to fulfill that expectation.
Yes it works, at least on the Japs here...so go out and get that girl
you truly deserve..or at least your penis deserves.
thx
>However, taking the hand & walking to another venue (street,
>coffeeshop, etc) is generally a damn easy segueway into back to your
>bed (in my case Love Hotel). Kino is King in Japan club scenes, which
>even young bro`s like Rio need to get up to speed on IMHO. Fuck
>patterns, when you just take the hand, smile, & LEAD like you say!
Are you sure it's as easy as this? I mean, I've never been to Japan but
according to most Maniac's outing reports, it's pretty tough out there
(Maniac and Smooth hitting a 100 chicks a night and all the freak outs and
shit, especially in his early reports).
Anyway, why don't you Tokyo PUAs take this Nani guy out for some basic
training? I know I'd want to hang with you if I were anywhere within 1000
miles of Tokyo.
rgds
yaritai
Wow man, that's pretty rough! Seriously, I know a guy who has been here over
three years and he *claims* to have only had sex ONCE! I say claims, 'cause
we're not sure if even once is true!
He's not a real ugly guy (but, how the hell would I know?), and is a regular
in a certain bar with tons of HBs. The exposure alone should get him some
action. But he never talks with them! And I've seen him when he does have
the opportunity to talk. He is SOOOOO AFC, it's not funny. This guy's fear
radiates. He tries a little kino, but the women recoil! Poor guy, I'd love
to see him get laid, but man, he just can't seem to get any. It does happen.
Nani Nani,
I can understand where you're coming from (kinda). I was here for 2 months
before gettin' any. Not long, really, I know. And I was fine, 'cause at the
time I was working for a large eikaiwa and getting LOTS of attention from a
bunch of HBs. Got myself a gf and continued to get attention from others,
but AFC'd and didn't pursue at all. (My gf was at the same school as me). I
limited my chases to bars, pretty much. Locales where, if anything did
happen, she wouldn't find out. But my game in bars was horrible, whereas in
situations of repeated exposure, I do VERY WELL.
Anyway, left the eikaiwa and started working in a place where there were no
new people to meet anymore. This left me with bars and such as my only
option. All my contact with HBs that wanted me dried up. My game in bars
continued to be horrible (terribly AFC in bars), and as I convinced myself
that the only person in the world that found me attractive was my gf, my
self-confidence plummeted. That started to radiate, I'm sure and it was a
downward spiral. Finally, my gf dumped me (for another guy, of all things!),
and I was in a deep dark hole.
I had to play a lot of mind tricks on myself, but basically, it came down to
this. I simply had forgotten that yes, many women were attracted to me, and
that I could get that back somehow. It took a while, but after I'd convinced
myself of that, it became easy again. I still don't have the opportunity for
repeated exposure such as an eikaiwa, but that doens't matter so much
anymore, because I've learned to port my confidence elsewhere. Do this, and
you'll see things get better very, very quickly. You're fine, I'm sure. Just
let yourself believe it.
One thing about Japan, everybody says it's so easy, but it's not unless you
get out and approach! I have never seen chicks make the moves here. What
they do, is they make themselves "available" a lot and wait for you to move.
Be aware of this type of behavior and strike when the iron's hot.
Good luck, I'm sure you'll do well.
And if you ever come to Osaka, email me!
yaritai
<kip...@my-deja.com> wrote in message news:8sf3o1$fa9$1...@nnrp1.deja.com...
> In article <39e9d514...@news.cpinternet.com>,
> tsuba...@yahoo.com wrote:
> > Allow me to first out myself under the guise of anonymity
> > allowed by this place in order to place my story into context. Before
> > asking for advice, I think it's best to qualify just how much I NEED
> > advice! Oh, and before you ask, I don't give this story to chicks.
> > But you guys here are free to bash me as you will.
>
> !!!! I can`t believe this is real. I mean, I didn`t get any until 6
> months plus, but I also didn`t try. You seem articulate. If you`ve
> lived here for 2.5 yrs & know `Nani Nani` you should have some Japanese
> skills. Are you married, desperately broke, don`t bathe, bad breath
> or some other constraint you`re hiding?
>
> I think you`re a poser. Now I`m not saying EVERY guy should be
> swimmin` in women in Japan - I myself have hit a speedbump although off
> to get the ego-lay w/ Ms Hokkaido tomorrow - but you should have at
> least 1 or 2 semi-serious prospects (e.g., GFs if you`re terrible at
> pick-ups). I can see how you envy the guys working 3Ps - hell, I am
> sometimes - but again getting 1 or 2 in a relationship-type way is
> afucking easy hurdle (pun intended). Your post makes no sense: how
> can you teach English but not be able to talk - at least rudimentarily -
> to girls.
>
> Why don`t you take lessons from nerd-king w/ the social skills of a
> gnat? He must be doing something right. As to what to say, doesn`t
> matter. Do the 3-second rule & say FUCKING ANYTHING w/ a smile, warm
> demeanor, clothes that aren`t from the starvation army and you should
> have an `in` with at least 1 out of 5 girls. Also, Shibuya bitches can
> be tsumetaii (cold). Why not try Roppongi, where chicks who want to
> get dip-sticked (most, not all) by foreigners will hang out?
>
> If you could provide more evidence you`re real - I DO NOT WANT to rip
> anyone up as I myself was a late bloomer thru mid-20s - I`d be more
> than happy to offer suggestions & maybe even wing w/ you for a try.
>
> -CU, Kipp
> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kip...@my-deja.com
!!! Ok, ok Kipp the Cujo is backing down. Sorry. I have my own
baggage (like live-in LTR that in my eyes limits my chances a lot; I
mean, I could have gotten laid on Tues w/ a fiiine bar chick who made
herself available w/ all the body language but I often stumble when it
comes to using the hotels; also, makes longer-term relationships like
Maniac is so good at exceedingly difficult to cultivate). Therefore, I
fucking ENVY young single guys like you, dude! Sorry to lash out...
If you can make it out tomorrow night, luv to hook up & at least get
you TALKING to girls....
CU, Kipp