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How to handle with a rapped girl?

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ybex

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Oct 15, 2000, 3:00:00 AM10/15/00
to
I would like to thank you all guys, for the great ammount of
information in this newsgroup. The last months have been the most
wonderful of my life, thanks to the information I get from you (oh, If
I had found this newsgroup a few years ago... ;))

I met a very nice girl 3 years ago. As a pure AFC that I was (I still
am, but improving...) I spent almost 2 years trying to seduce her with
no results... 6 months ago, I went away. We talked for the last time,
and she told me "lets just be friends". I said no. I wanted a real
women. We never talked again, but still maintained information about
each other, thanks to our mutual friends.

2 weeks ago I tryed to get all the group together again. A friend of
her told me that she was always asking for me, and she was afraid that
I was going to work in Germany (currently I live in Spain). Interest
from her, I thought. I knew she would never accept going out with me
alone. I´m telling you this because I know that she do this with all
the guys she met (she was "rapped" by an old boyfriend a few years ago,
and then they broke up. Since then she cannot maintain a stable
relationship, and never go out alone).

Week 1 -- We went to the disco. The girls spent all the night talking
with each other. No rapport with me or my friend. Just girls talk. Oh
man, I was pissed off, and since they came with me, I told them that I
didn´t like that situation and that I was going home. They didn´t care
and keep talking.

Week 2 -- Last chance? We combined to dinner in Saturday, with all our
friends. I call her in the afternoon to tell her about the restaurant
and the time. She didn´t pick up the phone (she wasnt at home). At the
evening SHE DID NOT came for dinner. Just me and our mutual friends.
She call a friend, and tell her that we should call her to define were
we were going to spend the night. I didn´t call her, and went to the
disco with friends.

Week 3 -- This week. I know that this seems AFC, but I still want to
have something with her. I´m going to call her this week and make my
final try. Any suggestions? Sincerely, I dont know what else can I do
to get this girl.

yx

--

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.

Dan Scorpio

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Oct 15, 2000, 3:00:00 AM10/15/00
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>I´m telling you this because I know that she do this with all
>the guys she met (she was "rapped" by an old boyfriend a few years
ago,
>and then they broke up

Seems these fuckin rappers are getting everywhere...

GL

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Oct 15, 2000, 3:00:00 AM10/15/00
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On Sun, 15 Oct 2000 16:26:27 GMT, ybex <yb...@my-deja.com> wrote:

>(she was "rapped" by an old boyfriend a few years ago,

>and then they broke up. Since then she cannot maintain a stable
>relationship, and never go out alone).

Damaged goods. Move on.

Alfred

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Oct 15, 2000, 3:00:00 AM10/15/00
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"Since then she cannot maintain a stable relationship, and never go out
alone)."

So....what makes you think that you will change her feelings towards men
given what you have told us about her lack of action towards you.

Keep looking and you will forget her in a NY minute....trust me.

Tokyopua

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Oct 16, 2000, 3:00:00 AM10/16/00
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LOL. Gotta agree with you Dan. Next thing you know we will be having to
learn how to handle girls who have been "hip-hopped". But maybe Im part of
the problem and shouldnt be commenting, since I know it must be tough for
other guys who have met the girls who I have "rocked" in the past...

But seriously, to the original poster, spelling issues aside, you are
fixating too much on "this one girl". Two years of trying and you are still
at it. Persistence is OK, but think of all the other opportunities you are
probably missing. There are plenty of willing women out there without
emotional issues to deal with. This group tends to promote ways of picking
up multiple women, but even if seducing just one woman is your goal, you are
likely to find more long term satisfaction and less emotional heartaches by
searching elsewhere. In the meantime, the sudden lack of attention from you
again (negative takeaway) that results from your persuits elsewhere may be
missed by her, and you could get her still by default when she realizes she
is losing your attention. No guarantees, but overall the most intelligent
approach is to go for other women.

-T

Dan Scorpio <zen...@globalnet.co.uk> wrote in message
news:8sctlo$r7c$1...@gxsn.com...


>
> >I´m telling you this because I know that she do this with all

> >the guys she met (she was "rapped" by an old boyfriend a few years
> ago,

Pleasure

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Oct 17, 2000, 3:00:00 AM10/17/00
to ybex
You cannot get this girl. Unfortunately, women that have suffered major
abuse bcome narcissistic and cannot maintain healthy relationships. You
will be put in the position of being a 'secondary survivor' which is not a
pretty sight.

The best you can be is a friend, but not a lover. You will get burned in
the end.

ybex wrote:

> I would like to thank you all guys, for the great ammount of
> information in this newsgroup. The last months have been the most
> wonderful of my life, thanks to the information I get from you (oh, If
> I had found this newsgroup a few years ago... ;))
>
> I met a very nice girl 3 years ago. As a pure AFC that I was (I still
> am, but improving...) I spent almost 2 years trying to seduce her with
> no results... 6 months ago, I went away. We talked for the last time,
> and she told me "lets just be friends". I said no. I wanted a real
> women. We never talked again, but still maintained information about
> each other, thanks to our mutual friends.
>
> 2 weeks ago I tryed to get all the group together again. A friend of
> her told me that she was always asking for me, and she was afraid that
> I was going to work in Germany (currently I live in Spain). Interest
> from her, I thought. I knew she would never accept going out with me

> alone. I´m telling you this because I know that she do this with all


> the guys she met (she was "rapped" by an old boyfriend a few years ago,

> and then they broke up. Since then she cannot maintain a stable


> relationship, and never go out alone).
>

Pleasure

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Oct 17, 2000, 3:00:00 AM10/17/00
to ybex

Pleasure

unread,
Oct 17, 2000, 3:00:00 AM10/17/00
to ybex

Pleasure

unread,
Oct 17, 2000, 3:00:00 AM10/17/00
to ybex

Alan Palmer

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Oct 19, 2000, 3:00:00 AM10/19/00
to
Pleasure wrote:
>
> You cannot get this girl. Unfortunately, women that have suffered major
> abuse bcome narcissistic and cannot maintain healthy relationships. You
> will be put in the position of being a 'secondary survivor' which is not a
> pretty sight.
>
> The best you can be is a friend, but not a lover. You will get burned in
> the end.
>

Don't understand the narcissim reference, but I agree with the rest. I
once dated a rape victim for a few months, many years ago. One of the
worst mistakes I've ever made.

Admittedly I was an AFC at the time (still am), but looking back, I
think that I still would have had trouble even if I had had PU and
seduction skills. Of course, if I had had PU and seduction skills, I
never would have chased her.

You are not going to get what you want (good sex). You will lose. At
best, she will use you as a stepping stone to a good relationship with
another guy. In doing so, you are going to experience a lot of pain and
anguish as she works through her issues and takes them out on you.

Save yourself a lot of pain. Look elsewhere.

Jeff

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Oct 19, 2000, 3:00:00 AM10/19/00
to
I went out with a rape victim for a year and a half. The most unstable
girl I've ever known... It gets better... But eventually I had to bail...


"Alan Palmer" <al...@sci-log.apana.org.au> wrote in message
news:39EECA06...@sci-log.apana.org.au...

ybex

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Oct 20, 2000, 3:00:00 AM10/20/00
to
are you telling me that all the girls in this situation have problems
with relationships? Can I ever think in changing her feelings the same
way I do patterning (SS) with other girls?

I think the major problem with these women, is that they don't have
self confidence (the same way they see a guy as an AFC?). You have to
control the situation, but you cannot show that you are trying to
control her.

People can change. Women can change. Rapped Women can change?

thanks for the opinions.

yx


In article <39EECA06...@sci-log.apana.org.au>,

--

Alan Palmer

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Oct 22, 2000, 3:00:00 AM10/22/00
to
ybex wrote:
>
> are you telling me that all the girls in this situation have problems
> with relationships? Can I ever think in changing her feelings the same
> way I do patterning (SS) with other girls?
>
> I think the major problem with these women, is that they don't have
> self confidence (the same way they see a guy as an AFC?). You have to
> control the situation, but you cannot show that you are trying to
> control her.
>
> People can change. Women can change. Rapped Women can change?
>
> thanks for the opinions.
>

I'm no expert on dealing with trauma victims, I can only tell you about
my one experience.

Don't try to heal her. Let a therapist (and her closest friends) do
that.

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