I'm delurking briefly, after one or two months of lurking on this NG (Vince's advice is really reassuring), and checking out some websites (Manic's has especially been helpful).
Some quick background info: I've been an AFC all my life (and I still am I think) basically,I have a severe lack of confidence. I've never dared do anything with a girl out of fear that I'll be slapped or losing friendship. You wouldn't beleive some of the opportunities I've passed up. I'm a college freshman right now. I commute to my college and I have classes all through with no breaks.
Here are some questions, forgive me if they seem repetitive. I'm pretty sure the answers should be helpful to a lot of the other AFC lurkers reading:
1) How effective is patterning with girls you've already known for a while? This girl from my old HS, tells me all her relationship problems,etc (which I now know is eternal citizenship in LJBFville). How do I go about running patterns, or even just slowly making them see me in a different light?
2) Dancing. I avoid clubs like the plague, because simply put, I cant' dance for shit. How much of a necessity is dancing in of itself? Do women really care, or is it my own psychological paranoia, that makes me beleive all eyes are on me,whenever I hit the dance floor? I saw a recent thread here where someone said dancing is very important.
3) Online & Phone: I talk to some girls a lot on the internet (hey, you have to start somewhere).Good beginners practice for a complete AFC or false security? Why, explain?
Talking on the phone for 1 hr plus, good connection or AFC with nothing else to do? why?
4) (This question may seem dumb, sorry) I have some lecture classes with a lot of HBs in them. Does eye contact mean anything? How can I tell simply by eye contact if someone is checking me out, or would be receptive to an approach?
5) 3 second rule, Crash & Burn, etc, what is the most important advice, insight and/or rule you'd give to an AFC like me?
On Tue, 28 Mar 2000 19:37:49 GMT you wish you knew who I was
<i_hate_fo...@my-deja.com> wrote: > I'm delurking briefly, after one or two months of lurking on this NG > (Vince's advice is really reassuring), and checking out some websites > (Manic's has especially been helpful).
Have you been to Tony's Lay Guide? Amazing info. Bee sure that you download the ASF "best-of" zip files on Maniac's site as well.
> Some quick background info: > I've been an AFC all my life (and I still am I think) basically,I have a > severe lack of confidence. I've never dared do anything with a girl out > of fear that I'll be slapped or losing friendship. You wouldn't beleive > some of the opportunities I've passed up. I'm a college freshman right > now.
Yes I would because I've done the same exact thing, only I'm ~12 years older than you. You know the good thing about missed opportunities and fuckups? After you read up on some of this stuff you can go back and analyze those mistakes you made and LEARN from them. Don't beat solid field work but it's a good start.
> I commute to my college and I have classes all through with no > breaks.
> Here are some questions, forgive me if they seem repetitive. I'm pretty > sure the answers should be helpful to a lot of the other AFC lurkers > reading:
> 1) How effective is patterning with girls you've already known for a > while? This girl from my old HS, tells me all her relationship > problems,etc (which I now know is eternal citizenship in LJBFville). > How do I go about running patterns, or even just slowly making them see > me in a different light?
Patterns aren't a silver bullet. Alone they will not make some chick get moist. But I have found that it's not that difficult to make a girl who you've known for awhile see you in a different light, especially if she hasn't see you in awhile. The MOST important thing is that you need to ELICIT HER ENDS VALUES and start feeding them back to her. Stop trying to help her with her relationship problems and concentrate on establishing a rapport with her and getting her interested in you as a sexual being instead of one of her girlfriends. Oh, and starting to introduce kino will help too!
I did all of this recently to some girl who I THOUGHT I was friends with since we went to lunch a lot and she is in a LTR. After one hour of asking her the right questions and saying the right things and starting to touch her I see that she looks at me and treats me totally differently now. This shit does work.
> 2) Dancing. I avoid clubs like the plague, because simply put, I cant' > dance for shit. How much of a necessity is dancing in of itself? Do > women really care, or is it my own psychological paranoia, that makes me > beleive all eyes are on me,whenever I hit the dance floor? I saw a > recent thread here where someone said dancing is very important.
I rarely go to clubs so I will defer to someone else on this.
> 3) Online & Phone: I talk to some girls a lot on the internet (hey, you > have to start somewhere).Good beginners practice for a complete AFC or > false security? Why, explain?
When I got started with SS I thought about practicing online but decided not to since I knew it would just create bad habits. And most importantly, it's easiest to read a person when they are right there in front of you, not on the phone or sitting in front of their computer. There's way too much chance for error those ways.
> Talking on the phone for 1 hr plus, good connection or AFC with nothing > else to do? why?
I think you know the answer to this question. I have gone from "talk for hours on the phone" guy to five-ten minutes max. If you make it easy for her to talk to you on the phone and still get the good feelings, why would she go to the trouble of seeing you where things could get "messy"?
Sitting close in a quite place talking, making eye contact and touching. Now that is a good connection.
> 4) (This question may seem dumb, sorry) I have some lecture classes with > a lot of HBs in them. Does eye contact mean anything? How can I tell > simply by eye contact if someone is checking me out, or would be > receptive to an approach?
I wouldn't go crazy on eye contact during lectures since you risk becoming "that guy who's starting at me". Get eye contact once or twice to get her interested and then stop paying attention to her. You'd be surprised how much girls will start checking you out to see if you are looking at them. Then after class you might find her trying to get your attention by standing close to you or talking to one of your friends. That's your opportunity to approach. College is such a great place to practice because there is what seems like an infinite amount of HBs to try things with:')
> 5) 3 second rule, Crash & Burn, etc, what is the most important advice, > insight and/or rule you'd give to an AFC like me?
3 second rule seems pretty important to me. But remember that confidence is key and you need to not get too fixated on any one chick. Always have another girl(s) to work on or at least to THINK about!
Hope this helps.
~The Comeback Kid~ -- Free audio & video emails, greeting cards and forums Talkway - http://www.talkway.com - Talk more ways (sm)
On Tue, 28 Mar 2000 19:37:49 GMT, you wish you knew who I was
<i_hate_fo...@my-deja.com> wrote: >2) Dancing. I avoid clubs like the plague, because simply put, I cant' >dance for shit. How much of a necessity is dancing in of itself?
It's not. If you can dance great. If you can't dance, if you want you can improve. But it's certainly not something you need to be able to do. It's just an extra tool.
>Do >women really care,
If you pick up a woman, she is unlikely to care if you can dance or not.
>or is it my own psychological paranoia, that makes me >beleive all eyes are on me,whenever I hit the dance floor? I saw a >recent thread here where someone said dancing is very important.
Dancing is a great way to get kino. That's what the thread was about. But you don't have to dance to get kino.
>3) Online & Phone: I talk to some girls a lot on the internet (hey, you >have to start somewhere).Good beginners practice for a complete AFC or >false security? Why, explain?
Start in the real world. If you can do it there, you can do it anywhere.
>5) 3 second rule, Crash & Burn, etc, what is the most important advice, >insight and/or rule you'd give to an AFC like me?
> Some quick background info: > I've been an AFC all my life (and I still am I think) basically,I have a > severe lack of confidence. I've never dared do anything with a girl out > of fear that I'll be slapped or losing friendship. You wouldn't beleive > some of the opportunities I've passed up. I'm a college freshman right > now. I commute to my college and I have classes all through with no > breaks.
Been there, done that. In fact, your situation mirrors mine, 30 years ago, with one exception - I had lost my virginity. I still froze with the hot ones...warm ones...cool ones...
> 1) How effective is patterning with girls you've already known for a > while? This girl from my old HS, tells me all her relationship > problems,etc (which I now know is eternal citizenship in LJBFville). > How do I go about running patterns, or even just slowly making them see > me in a different light?
Friends into lovers comes later. For now, you need practice in the basics: approaching, fluff talk, patterns, challenge closes, etc. Learning to elicit a girl's end values will tell you if she's the sort you want to get involved with. Consider doing so with HB HS.
> 2) Dancing. I avoid clubs like the plague, because simply put, I cant' > dance for shit. How much of a necessity is dancing in of itself? Do > women really care, or is it my own psychological paranoia, that makes me > beleive all eyes are on me,whenever I hit the dance floor? I saw a > recent thread here where someone said dancing is very important.
Dancing is optional, but...the confidence you will acquire from knowing how will put this one to rest. Take ballroom dancing classes. Imagine a roomful of women who want you to dance with them. Imagine them being the ones who are more worried about how they look on the dance floor than you do. Imagine gently rubbing up against their breasts...
> 3) Online & Phone: I talk to some girls a lot on the internet (hey, you > have to start somewhere).Good beginners practice for a complete AFC or > false security? Why, explain?
False security. Face to face is where all the action is. Until you are proficient at closing quickly IRL, online is a waste of time.
> Talking on the phone for 1 hr plus, good connection or AFC with nothing > else to do? why?
Are you her girlfriend? See above, changing "online" to "on the phone".
> 4) (This question may seem dumb, sorry) I have some lecture classes with > a lot of HBs in them. Does eye contact mean anything? How can I tell > simply by eye contact if someone is checking me out, or would be > receptive to an approach?
Do a search at formhandle's site for "eye contact". David Shade has excellent advice on the subject. I have also posted info in the newbie section of the PUSHBOARD: http://www.fastseduction.com/
> 5) 3 second rule, Crash & Burn, etc, what is the most important advice, > insight and/or rule you'd give to an AFC like me?
Learn how to anchor feelings of success and pleasure in dealing with women. Check the PUSHBOARD for info on installing them. Regards, Vince
For the online thing, my opinion is that it can be helpful. People tend to be amazingly honest when you chat. You learn stuff about the female mind. You can ask about their fantasies and what they dream of. Let them educate you about what they are about.
Everyone else seems to be giving you fine advice otherwise.
> I'm delurking briefly, after one or two months of lurking on this NG > (Vince's advice is really reassuring), and checking out some websites > (Manic's has especially been helpful).
> Some quick background info: > I've been an AFC all my life (and I still am I think) basically,I have a > severe lack of confidence. I've never dared do anything with a girl out > of fear that I'll be slapped or losing friendship. You wouldn't beleive > some of the opportunities I've passed up. I'm a college freshman right > now. I commute to my college and I have classes all through with no > breaks.
> Here are some questions, forgive me if they seem repetitive. I'm pretty > sure the answers should be helpful to a lot of the other AFC lurkers > reading:
> 1) How effective is patterning with girls you've already known for a > while? This girl from my old HS, tells me all her relationship > problems,etc (which I now know is eternal citizenship in LJBFville). > How do I go about running patterns, or even just slowly making them see > me in a different light?
> 2) Dancing. I avoid clubs like the plague, because simply put, I cant' > dance for shit. How much of a necessity is dancing in of itself? Do > women really care, or is it my own psychological paranoia, that makes me > beleive all eyes are on me,whenever I hit the dance floor? I saw a > recent thread here where someone said dancing is very important.
> 3) Online & Phone: I talk to some girls a lot on the internet (hey, you > have to start somewhere).Good beginners practice for a complete AFC or > false security? Why, explain?
> Talking on the phone for 1 hr plus, good connection or AFC with nothing > else to do? why?
> 4) (This question may seem dumb, sorry) I have some lecture classes with > a lot of HBs in them. Does eye contact mean anything? How can I tell > simply by eye contact if someone is checking me out, or would be > receptive to an approach?
> 5) 3 second rule, Crash & Burn, etc, what is the most important advice, > insight and/or rule you'd give to an AFC like me?
Here are the answers, as I see them, to your questions.
<intro snipped>
> 1) How effective is patterning with girls you've already known for a > while? This girl from my old HS, tells me all her relationship > problems,etc (which I now know is eternal citizenship in LJBFville). > How do I go about running patterns, or even just slowly making them see > me in a different light?
Patterning is no less effective because you already know the girl. In fact, you should have an advantage because you already have rapport, and it's likely that you already know a bit about how she responds to different kinds of communication. The only concern with someone you have known for a while is if your communication suddenly sounds drastically different. This is why it is important to deliver the patterns in a style that is congruent with the way you would normally speak to her. You need the flexibility to mold them to your conversation and your persona.
> 2) Dancing. I avoid clubs like the plague, because simply put, I cant' > dance for shit. How much of a necessity is dancing in of itself? Do > women really care, or is it my own psychological paranoia, that makes me > beleive all eyes are on me,whenever I hit the dance floor? I saw a > recent thread here where someone said dancing is very important.
There is no need for you to be a dancer. A lot of us enjoy dance clubs, and a lot of us have success at dance clubs. It is certainly NOT the only way for you to approach meeting people. In fact, Ross and others claim that it is one of the less effective ways to do this. I personally really enjoy the clubs and find that the chicks there seem to dig me. As far as everyone watching you, that's simply false. People notice you, but unless you are around RG, noone is picking apart your dancing to find your weak points. The idea that everyone is watching is a juvenille belief which you should work to rid yourself of.
> 3) Online & Phone: I talk to some girls a lot on the internet (hey, you > have to start somewhere).Good beginners practice for a complete AFC or > false security? Why, explain?
Depends on your viewpoint. I think online chat can be a good way to practice applying the things you learn, as long as you realize that it is practice for the goal and not the goal itself. That's my view. Others really enjoy online seduction and do it often and well.
> Talking on the phone for 1 hr plus, good connection or AFC with nothing > else to do? why?
Again... it depends. In the beginning, you should try to keep your phone time short and to the point. Try to be the one who ends the call and make it clear that you really enjoy talking to her, but that you are a busy man and have things to do. Patterning over the phone, however, can be a very effective tool so keep in mind that these suggestions are just general guidelines. Nothing in ASF is carved in stone.
> 4) (This question may seem dumb, sorry) I have some lecture classes with > a lot of HBs in them. Does eye contact mean anything? How can I tell > simply by eye contact if someone is checking me out, or would be > receptive to an approach?
Yes. Eye contact is important. It's something that you should make sure you give a lot of and if you are receiving it then smile at the girl to reward her for looking at you. :) It's not a sure sign that she wants you. Nothing is, and you shouldn't wait until you receive "permission" to approach. One of the hottest girls that I am seeing right now I met in a class like you describe. I just walked up to her with a smile, sat down next to her and began talking. Try that approach. I've never been "denied" when I've approached the ladies that way. Trust me, she'd rather hear you pattern to her then listen to some boring lecture anyway.
> 5) 3 second rule, Crash & Burn, etc, what is the most important advice, > insight and/or rule you'd give to an AFC like me?
Sure. If you think these could help you then go ahead. It depends what you're trying to overcome. All these things are are guidelines that have helped some people overcome some particular problems. There is no magic pill, but a lot of people here have claimed that these two things are important.
The most important advice? Relax. Have fun. Learn to pattern so well that you can create patterned speech off of any topic. It is much more effective to give a pattern that is custom made for the situation and the girl then to just throw out some general purpose pattern that may or may not hit home with the girl.
> 1) How effective is patterning with girls you've already known for a > while? This girl from my old HS, tells me all her relationship > problems,etc (which I now know is eternal citizenship in LJBFville). > How do I go about running patterns, or even just slowly making them see > me in a different light?
Women who have LJBF'd you can be quite useful in certain circumstances. If she's good looking, go out with her and make her a pivot. Instant social proof, plus she goes and gets other chicks for you. Search Formhandles's site for advice about pivots. Look for almost anything written by MrSex4uNYC for a complete rundown on the subject.
Switch your attitude to YOU being the prize. The girl who was silly enough to LJBF you had her chance to get her needs met in ways she always longed for, and she blew it. Now, as the price to pay for simply being with you, she has to get other chicks for you.
I mean, shit, right now she's just using you as an emotional dishrag, dumping all her garbage on you - let her know what your price is. She has to work to get you laid, or she can take her bullshit somewhere else. She can always find another sap to emotionally exploit. Then once she's delivered the goods, tell her all about it in juicy detail. Let her know just exactly what she's missing by not riding you like a banshee.
> 2) Dancing. I avoid clubs like the plague, because simply put, I cant' > dance for shit. How much of a necessity is dancing in of itself? Do > women really care, or is it my own psychological paranoia, that makes me > beleive all eyes are on me,whenever I hit the dance floor? I saw a > recent thread here where someone said dancing is very important.
All the more reason to learn - once you know how to dance, and dance well, you're right. All the ladies will be eyeing you, checking you out, seeing how confidently you move. If you can't handle yourself with grace and assurance, you probably can't fuck worth shit either. Women want to fuck. It's just that they want to fuck guys who give the impression that they know what they're doing and can satisfy them. Dancing will teach you that.
BTW, the women are always checking you out anyway, give them a show to remember. Once you learn how to dance, your body language changes. You KNOW you can handle yourself. It gives you a confidence in your movements and in the way you approach living, because you KNOW women are looking at you and desiring you. And you KNOW you can deliver on the inherent promise of your sensuality.
Women love conversations. Dance is a conversation without words. It builds deep rapport very quickly because you're crossover mirroring her for 3-5 minutes at time. I'm talking about social dance, like ballroom, salsa, or swing. It works with just about any kind of dance, it simply works better when you're in close body contact.
In addition to developing rapport, you get to go directly into kino, right here, right now. You get to learn very quickly and directly, can she fuck worth a damn? She gets an opportunity to learn the same thing. You can determine quickly just how open is she. How willing to accept a whole nude erection, as it were. Is she willing to let you penetrate her space? How deeply? How frequently?
Go learn how to dance. It's well worth your time. That's my opinion, but you're welcome to it.
> 3) Online & Phone: I talk to some girls a lot on the internet (hey, you > have to start somewhere).Good beginners practice for a complete AFC or > false security? Why, explain?
> Talking on the phone for 1 hr plus, good connection or AFC with nothing > else to do? why?
Not for hours at a time, tell her just enough to get her all worked up. And then get off the phone. You're busy, you've got things to do. If she wants more, she has to meet you in person. If she can't or won't agree to that, hey, it's her loss. There's plenty more fish in the sea.
> 4) (This question may seem dumb, sorry) I have some lecture classes with > a lot of HBs in them. Does eye contact mean anything? How can I tell > simply by eye contact if someone is checking me out, or would be > receptive to an approach?
Like I mentioned earlier. They're ALWAYS checking you out. If you catch them looking at you, good. She's interested. Go help her discover pleasures she's only dreamed about experiencing. All she has to do is meet your standards.
> 5) 3 second rule, Crash & Burn, etc, what is the most important advice, > insight and/or rule you'd give to an AFC like me?
It makes you get over your irrational fear. Just go for it.
-- Two guys are walking down the street. The first guy walks into a bar, the second one ducks. Visit my web page: http://www.users.uswest.net/~jakethomson jakethom...@uswest.net
> 1) How effective is patterning with girls you've already known for a > while?
The ROI (Return On Investment) is far too low in a turn-around situation. The amount of time and energy you spend on trying to change her view of you would be better spent on two hundred cold approaches.
Of course, at the end of the cold approaches, THEN you can consider turning around your "friend". It's a tough task, and you just don't have the tools for it yet.
> 2) Dancing. I avoid clubs like the plague, because simply put, I cant' > dance for shit.
You should go at least once. You'll see that 99% of the guys (and girls) out there also can't dance for shit. It's just like junior high school, with the "bounce, bounce, step to the left, step to the right, don't look at your partner" type stuff. Watch a couple videos on MTV, and practice in front of a mirror. Then, when you go out there, realise you have one up on everyone else and the only reason people would laugh at you is from their own insecurity. Dancing badly usually isn't a deal-breaker with most of the women, but dancing well will turn you into a magnet.
The key to picking up is confidence. The dance floor is a great place to show your confidence, because almost EVERYONE is insecure when dancing. Get past that, and you're 95% of the way there. If you really want to make it a sure thing, take a salsa class.
> 3) Online & Phone: I talk to some girls a lot on the internet (hey, you > have to start somewhere).Good beginners practice for a complete AFC or > false security? Why, explain?
False security. It's like swimming by inching your way into the shallow end of the pool. The deep end is where all the fun stuff is, and even if you jump right into the 9' section without knowing how to swim, you can tread water pretty easily while you pick it up. You can be swimming from end to end in the same amount of time that it would take you to get into the shallow end up to your knees.
> 4) (This question may seem dumb, sorry) I have some lecture classes with > a lot of HBs in them. Does eye contact mean anything? How can I tell > simply by eye contact if someone is checking me out, or would be > receptive to an approach?
Read some of the posts in the archive on eye contact. Fleeting eye contact is useless (and the curse of living in Seattle, where women are terrified of strangers), but if you hold it with a woman, it's a good sign. I've found that assuming a woman is checking me out is a good way to go, and it makes it easier to hold to the three second rule. Even when I'm wrong, we have a good laugh over it, so it's not a loss.
> 5) 3 second rule, Crash & Burn, etc, what is the most important advice, > insight and/or rule you'd give to an AFC like me?
The most important advice someone could give you is to understand that it doesn't matter if some girl on the street turns you down. Crash & Burn, especially if played with a friend as a game, is probably the easiest way to get past this. The three second rule is also very handy, because it takes away most of the "does she like me?" pre-consideration that causes an AFC to stall out and miss an opportunity.
Remember, there's always another girl out there who's smarter, more stable, prettier, better in bed, and even more willing to please you.
"comeback kid" <comeback_...@talkshield.com> wrote: > On Tue, 28 Mar 2000 19:37:49 GMT you wish you knew who I was > <i_hate_fo...@my-deja.com> wrote: > > I'm delurking briefly, after one or two months of lurking on this NG > > (Vince's advice is really reassuring), and checking out some websites > > (Manic's has especially been helpful).
> Have you been to Tony's Lay Guide? Amazing info. Bee sure that you > download the ASF "best-of" zip files on Maniac's site as well.
> > Some quick background info: > > I've been an AFC all my life (and I still am I think) basically,I have a > > severe lack of confidence. I've never dared do anything with a girl out > > of fear that I'll be slapped or losing friendship. You wouldn't beleive > > some of the opportunities I've passed up. I'm a college freshman right > > now.
> Yes I would because I've done the same exact thing, only I'm ~12 years > older than you. You know the good thing about missed opportunities and > fuckups? After you read up on some of this stuff you can go back and > analyze those mistakes you made and LEARN from them. Don't beat solid > field work but it's a good start.
> > I commute to my college and I have classes all through with no > > breaks.
> > Here are some questions, forgive me if they seem repetitive. I'm pretty > > sure the answers should be helpful to a lot of the other AFC lurkers > > reading:
> > 1) How effective is patterning with girls you've already known for a > > while? This girl from my old HS, tells me all her relationship > > problems,etc (which I now know is eternal citizenship in LJBFville). > > How do I go about running patterns, or even just slowly making them see > > me in a different light?
> Patterns aren't a silver bullet. Alone they will not make some chick > get moist. But I have found that it's not that difficult to make a > girl who you've known for awhile see you in a different light, > especially if she hasn't see you in awhile. The MOST important thing > is that you need to ELICIT HER ENDS VALUES and start feeding them back > to her. Stop trying to help her with her relationship problems and > concentrate on establishing a rapport with her and getting her > interested in you as a sexual being instead of one of her girlfriends. > Oh, and starting to introduce kino will help too!
> I did all of this recently to some girl who I THOUGHT I was friends > with since we went to lunch a lot and she is in a LTR. After one hour > of asking her the right questions and saying the right things and > starting to touch her I see that she looks at me and treats me totally > differently now. This shit does work.
> > 2) Dancing. I avoid clubs like the plague, because simply put, I cant' > > dance for shit. How much of a necessity is dancing in of itself? Do > > women really care, or is it my own psychological paranoia, that makes me > > beleive all eyes are on me,whenever I hit the dance floor? I saw a > > recent thread here where someone said dancing is very important.
> I rarely go to clubs so I will defer to someone else on this.
> > 3) Online & Phone: I talk to some girls a lot on the internet (hey, you > > have to start somewhere).Good beginners practice for a complete AFC or > > false security? Why, explain?
> When I got started with SS I thought about practicing online but > decided not to since I knew it would just create bad habits. And most > importantly, it's easiest to read a person when they are right there in > front of you, not on the phone or sitting in front of their computer. > There's way too much chance for error those ways.
> > Talking on the phone for 1 hr plus, good connection or AFC with nothing > > else to do? why?
> I think you know the answer to this question. I have gone from "talk > for hours on the phone" guy to five-ten minutes max. If you make it > easy for her to talk to you on the phone and still get the good > feelings, why would she go to the trouble of seeing you where things > could get "messy"?
> Sitting close in a quite place talking, making eye contact and > touching. Now that is a good connection.
> > 4) (This question may seem dumb, sorry) I have some lecture classes with > > a lot of HBs in them. Does eye contact mean anything? How can I tell > > simply by eye contact if someone is checking me out, or would be > > receptive to an approach?
> I wouldn't go crazy on eye contact during lectures since you risk > becoming "that guy who's starting at me". Get eye contact once or > twice to get her interested and then stop paying attention to her. > You'd be surprised how much girls will start checking you out to see if > you are looking at them. Then after class you might find her trying to > get your attention by standing close to you or talking to one of your > friends. That's your opportunity to approach. College is such a great > place to practice because there is what seems like an infinite amount > of HBs to try things with:')
> > 5) 3 second rule, Crash & Burn, etc, what is the most important advice, > > insight and/or rule you'd give to an AFC like me?
> 3 second rule seems pretty important to me. But remember that > confidence is key and you need to not get too fixated on any one chick. > Always have another girl(s) to work on or at least to THINK about!
> Hope this helps.
> ~The Comeback Kid~ > -- > Free audio & video emails, greeting cards and forums > Talkway - http://www.talkway.com - Talk more ways (sm)
| Your comments are interesting, | Could you kindly share your experience with me? | | Please provide some examples of how to "ELICIT HER ENDS VALUES and | start feeding them back to her" | | How should the to topic be introduced? | How should it be said? | How to feed it back to her?
> Dancing is optional, but...the confidence you will acquire from knowing how > will put this one to rest. Take ballroom dancing classes. Imagine a roomful > of women who want you to dance with them. Imagine them being the ones who > are more worried about how they look on the dance floor than you do. Imagine > gently rubbing up against their breasts...
If you can't afford ballroom dancing classes now, take them after you graduate. It's a skill that you can use the rest of your life. Take it from an old lady.
jakethom...@uswest.net wrote: > you wish you knew who I was wrote:
> > 1) How effective is patterning with girls you've already known for a > > while? This girl from my old HS, tells me all her relationship > > problems,etc (which I now know is eternal citizenship in LJBFville). > > How do I go about running patterns, or even just slowly making them see > > me in a different light?
> Women who have LJBF'd you can be quite useful in certain > circumstances. If she's good looking, go out with her and > make her a pivot. Instant social proof, plus she goes and > gets other chicks for you. Search Formhandles's site for > advice about pivots. Look for almost anything written by > MrSex4uNYC for a complete rundown on the subject.
> Switch your attitude to YOU being the prize. The girl who > was silly enough to LJBF you had her chance to get her needs > met in ways she always longed for, and she blew it. Now, as > the price to pay for simply being with you, she has to get > other chicks for you.
> I mean, shit, right now she's just using you as an emotional > dishrag, dumping all her garbage on you - let her know what > your price is. She has to work to get you laid, or she can > take her bullshit somewhere else. She can always find > another sap to emotionally exploit. Then once she's > delivered the goods, tell her all about it in juicy detail. > Let her know just exactly what she's missing by not riding > you like a banshee.
> > 2) Dancing. I avoid clubs like the plague, because simply put, I cant' > > dance for shit. How much of a necessity is dancing in of itself? Do > > women really care, or is it my own psychological paranoia, that makes me > > beleive all eyes are on me,whenever I hit the dance floor? I saw a > > recent thread here where someone said dancing is very important.
> All the more reason to learn - once you know how to dance, > and dance well, you're right. All the ladies will be eyeing > you, checking you out, seeing how confidently you move. If > you can't handle yourself with grace and assurance, you > probably can't fuck worth shit either. Women want to fuck. > It's just that they want to fuck guys who give the > impression that they know what they're doing and can satisfy > them. Dancing will teach you that.
> BTW, the women are always checking you out anyway, give them > a show to remember. Once you learn how to dance, your body > language changes. You KNOW you can handle yourself. It gives > you a confidence in your movements and in the way you > approach living, because you KNOW women are looking at you > and desiring you. And you KNOW you can deliver on the > inherent promise of your sensuality.
> Women love conversations. Dance is a conversation without > words. It builds deep rapport very quickly because you're > crossover mirroring her for 3-5 minutes at time. I'm talking > about social dance, like ballroom, salsa, or swing. It works > with just about any kind of dance, it simply works better > when you're in close body contact.
> In addition to developing rapport, you get to go directly > into kino, right here, right now. You get to learn very > quickly and directly, can she fuck worth a damn? She gets an > opportunity to learn the same thing. You can determine > quickly just how open is she. How willing to accept a whole > nude erection, as it were. Is she willing to let you > penetrate her space? How deeply? How frequently?
> Go learn how to dance. It's well worth your time. That's my > opinion, but you're welcome to it.
> > 3) Online & Phone: I talk to some girls a lot on the internet (hey, you > > have to start somewhere).Good beginners practice for a complete AFC or > > false security? Why, explain?
> > Talking on the phone for 1 hr plus, good connection or AFC with nothing > > else to do? why?
> Not for hours at a time, tell her just enough to get her all > worked up. And then get off the phone. You're busy, you've > got things to do. If she wants more, she has to meet you in > person. If she can't or won't agree to that, hey, it's her > loss. There's plenty more fish in the sea.
> > 4) (This question may seem dumb, sorry) I have some lecture classes with > > a lot of HBs in them. Does eye contact mean anything? How can I tell > > simply by eye contact if someone is checking me out, or would be > > receptive to an approach?
> Like I mentioned earlier. They're ALWAYS checking you out. > If you catch them looking at you, good. She's interested. Go > help her discover pleasures she's only dreamed about > experiencing. All she has to do is meet your standards.
> > 5) 3 second rule, Crash & Burn, etc, what is the most important advice, > > insight and/or rule you'd give to an AFC like me?
> It makes you get over your irrational fear. Just go for it.
> -- > Two guys are walking down the street. > The first guy walks into a bar, the second one ducks. > Visit my web page: > http://www.users.uswest.net/~jakethomson > jakethom...@uswest.net
-- Two guys are walking down the street. The first guy walks into a bar, the second one ducks. Visit my web page: http://www.users.uswest.net/~jakethomson jakethom...@uswest.net
