### NEW VISITORS READ THIS FIRST (A.S.F. FAQ) [part 2 of 3] ### 2001-05-20a
Formhandle
Q:"What is Mystery's 'Elvis opener/script'?"
A: First, you should understand that this is an EXAMPLE only of how
to do a canned opener. It is NOT something you should do verbatim.
Seduction is a process and has a structure but regurgitating words
you've read from the Internet is not the way to seduce a woman. The
"Elvis script" has become somewhat of an unspoken joke around ASF
and it's frankly quite disturbing that so many newbies and AFCs beg
to get a hold of it, as if they have no creativity, capability, or
desire to learn how to structure a PU that they think they need and
can get away with using some overused, canned opener and script. The
question you need to ask yourself is: "OK, I repeat this stuff to a
chick. Then what?" If you don't know what happens after "Then
what?", you clearly won't understand the purpose of this example and
you've got to keep learning and, more importantly, go out into the
field and try a lot of DIFFERENT things, watch for reactions, see
what happens.
Alright, in light of all that, and because it gets asked way too
often on ASF, here's the damn Elvis script:
"Did you know that Elvis dyed his hair black? What was his natural
hair color?"
"Dirty Blond."
"Did you know that Priscilla Presley also dyed her hair?"
"I don't know what her natural hair color was, I'm not Cliff Claven,
but can you picture that these two every couple of weeks would dye
their hair black together around a dirty sink in some sick mass-
appealing ceremonial ritual? I bet people never considered that
before ... did you?"
Alternative:
"Did you know that all Elvis had to do to get a shag was look
directly into the girl's eyes and smile?"
Then look into the chick's eyes and smile.
Q:"What is the best attitude to have when trying to attract women?"
A: I am the prize. I like what I see so far, so I'll give her an
opportunity to show me that she's worth my time and effort. If she
rejects me, she's a fool. I'll just go find the next lucky chick and
let her have what this chick is throwing away.
~maddman75, 2000/11/25
Also, it's a very good idea to shut off that whiny voice inside your
head when meeting and attempting to attract a woman. Don't listen to
any voice in your head that says "Am I doing this right?", "What is
she thinking about me?", "Are other people watching?", "Damn, she's
so beautiful.", "I'm so nervous..."
Q:"What does one talk about when first approaching a girl? Should
certain topics be emphasized/avoided?"
A: This is called "fluff talk" and usually the best topic of
conversation is what the girl is interested in. Unless you're
braindead, you can usually get to this by asking someone general
questions like "Do you work or go to school?" (if she looks early-
20s) or "What do you do for a living?" or, if she's with a group of
people (men, women, or a mixture) "So, how do you all know each
other?" Or maybe compliment of piece of clothing and ask her where
she got it. Whatever. The point is to let her lead into a topic that
perhaps she's interested in. Then ask a few more questions, get some
answers and you're done "fluff talking", ready to get into the good
stuff.
Q:"How do I have a 1 on 1 conversation with a woman ('how do I talk
to women')?"
A: Check out http://www.pickupguide.com/ and look at the Maniac
Plan. This has example stories, what kind of things to talk about,
and what order to talk in. There's about 2-4 hours worth of topics.
You can always make yourself some notes... If you get lost, go to
the john and refresh your memory. Keep in mind that the Maniac Plan
is just a loose structure to help you keep up a long conversation
with many opportunities to pick up on values and "trance" words the
target may utter. It's a good idea to use the Maniac Plan as a
starter and then build up your own stories and conversation pieces.
Q:"How do I convey personality?"
A: First, don't confuse "personality" to mean goofiness or acting
eccentric. Conveying personality means portraying yourself as
someone who is entertaining, confident, and at ease in his
environment, someone who can stand out on his own rather than
depending on external factors such as clothes, choice of friends,
venue, gimmicks, etc. But before portraying that, you must first
make a woman totally fascinated by you. This can be done in your
initial approach, with the type of opener you choose or the initial
things you say or ask.
Think about what most guys say to a woman when they first approach
them and ask yourself "Is this something she's heard 100 times
already?" It may be OK if you plan to simply fluff talk with her
first but ask yourself if you can be better than that and say
something unexpected, something she isn't likely to have ever heard
before. Generally, this might actually be what you really want to
say to her since it will at least come across as honest and sincere.
But that depends on the circumstance and things you might need to
work against like obstacles/cockblocks or "bitch shields".
Now, to portay personality, isn't so much trying to be a character
but rather be a certain way. For example, if she is with a group,
convey joy in getting to know the people in her group before putting
your focus on HER. If an obstacle cockblocks you, don't get angry or
frustrated but rather disable the obstacle by diverting your
attention to them and warm them up - pacify them, don't be afraid to
lose the taget's attention. Disabling an obstacle should only take a
5-20 seconds. Tell your target something quirky or funny but don't
be overly excited. Radiate happiness but not so much that it comes
off as fake. Remember to smile. Remember to use kino, touch her arm
when you lean in to talk to her, show no fear of intimacy. Don't
slouch. Pay attention to what she says and mirror her values back to
her in your language. Mirror her body postures and mannerisms.
Mirror her breathing. There are a ton of other things you can do
which will not only let you portray youself as someone with
"personality" but will also help you establish rapport with her.
Q:"How do I make a woman see me as an opportunity rather than just
another guy?"
A: First, you need to convey personality to her - fascinate her and
establish to her that you are interesting, beyond just an initial
glance. It doesn't matter if your life might be viewed as "boring"
or "average" (i.e. you're an accountant and aren't an outdoors type
or don't go out and party every night), as long as you can fascinate
her with your initial approach (or after some initial fluff talk),
stir her emotions, and then pace and lead her emotions. Do all of
that and simultaneously build rapport (through your language,
mirroring) and anchor all those new good feelings she's having to
YOU.
Even doing all that, your job isn't over. All of that setup is
meaningless to YOU unless you structure an opportunity for her to
get with you. Structuring an opportunity doesn't mean ask her for
her number or ask her out. It means present an opportunity for HER
to decide to get with you - whether that means immediately or some
time in the near future. You don't want to be seen as someone who's
looking for something or someone to add to your life, you already
HAVE a life and have this interesting, amaazing quality about you.
If she wants to be a part of that or get a piece of that, SHE is the
one who should take the opportunity you present.
Q:"What does a woman mean when she says...?"
A: Just about anything. But generally, depending on the context of
conversation, a woman will be giving you clues as to what she wants
and, in doing so, will basically provide you with a roadmap of what
it will take to seduce her.
Q:"What's the best way to answer the question 'What do you do for a
living?'?"
A: With passion and in a positive light. Whatever it is, act as if
its great, and you're doing exactly what you want to be doing. If
you work someplace where this isn't really believable (say,
McDonalds) say you're going to school to be XXX. If you're not in
school, say you're saving up for tuition, or working toward
management. You want to appear as someone with ambition, or as
chicks so often put it "a man who knows what he wants and how to get
it."
~maddman75, 2000/11/25
Always keep in mind that she's not asking you because she really and
truly cares what you do for a living, she just wants some insight
into who you are so there's no reason not to give it a positive
spin.
Q:"Why do women do what they do (what is 'chick logic')?"
A: Chick logic is a misnomer. It is NOT logical. Chicks base their
decisions about relationships on their emotional state at that time.
They then justify their actions later. Essentially, they do what
they want then make up a reason for doing so later.
~maddman75, 2000/11/25
Note: When discussing "chick logic", some might bring up the term
"guy logic". Don't be fooled into thinking the terms are equivalent.
"Guy logic" basically means LOGIC. Logic doesn't get you laid.
Trying to understand chick logic won't get you laid. Understanding
how to read a woman, know what she is feeling, and leading her
states/imagination WILL get you laid.
Q:"Why don't (most) women ask men out?"
A: Just accept it as fact and move on. It's a societal thing, not
worth trying to figure out. There are multitudes of reasons, almost
all based on chick logic.
Q:"What is mirroring, how is it used, and what does it do?"
A: Mirroring is a means to gain subcoscious rapport with someone by
copying them physically and verbally. For example, if you are
sitting across from someone and they cross their leg, you would
cross yours. If they are tilting their head, you tilt your head. If
they are talking slowly, you talk slowly. You can also try to pay
attention to their breathing rhythm and match it (but only if you
can pull it off without staring at their chest! - some guys have
suggested using your peripheral vision for this). Voice tonality and
and subtle mannerisms can also be mirrored. Generally, when people
gain true rapport with someone, the physical and verbal mirroring
happens naturally. By being consciously aware of your own body
language and matching it to someone else's while in conversation
with them, you can give their subconscious mind the impression that
rapport already exists.
Some people worry that mirroring will be too obvious and that the
other person will "catch" them. However, unless you're being
blatantly obvious, exaggerating your mirroring, or copying
everything they do, they will simply accept it without consciously
realizing. As an excercise, go out and find people who seem to have
good rapport and watch their body language as they communicate.
Also, go out and try to be blatantly obvious with your mirroring and
see how much you can get away with before getting "caught".
Timing your mirroring has a lot to do with the subtlety of it.
Usually you'll want to wait 2-3 seconds before matching someone's
actions. Then, gradually close the time gap (pacing) until,
eventually, you are leading and the other person is mirroring you.
Once you notice them subconsciously mirroring you, then you will
know rapport has been gained.
Here are some good, clear posts on mirroring:
http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=1&mn=97852408483677
http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=1&mn=97852408583680
http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=1&mn=97858890983788
http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=1&mn=97848089683604
Q:"What is a 'neg' or 'neg hit'?"
A: It's an approach/attract theory from Mystery. A negative remark
towards a girl designed to break her indifference to you by showing
her that you are indifferent to her beauty (or other striking
features). Not an insult, that would be bad. More like "Those are
interesting nails - are they real?" or "It's really cute how your
nose wiggles when you talk - look, there it goes again!
<chuckle>". No more than 2 negs on an average HB (7-9/7-9), a
maximum of 3 on a super HB (10/10). Negs are pretty much a necessity
for 10s or strippers (whether they're 10s or not - simply because
they are in an environment which is condusive to them thinking they
are 10s).
Negs to anything below an everage HB is generally BAD unless the
chick is giving off vibes that she THINKS she is a 9/10.
Q:"What is the 3s (3 second) rule?"
Note: The "3s / 3 second" rule was originally coined by Mystery on
ASF. A description is also available in the acronym page at
http://www.fastseduction.com/acronyms.shtml.
A: FWIW, the 3S Rule is generally considered to be operant in almost
all situations. IOW, it's not the 3 Second Nightclub Rule, the 3
Second Bus Stop Rule, the 3 Second Street Rule, etc...
The 3S Rule is basically a guideline for making a decisive move on
an HB Target, as soon as is practicable, and without hesitation.
Hesitation is usually a sign of weakness, indecision, and lack of
confidence. Since confidence is something that almost all women
desire in, and find attractive about men, the rule is meant to serve
as a principle of moving quickly to show strength, confidence and
intent, and therefore attractiveness... Almost all AFCs will sit and
watch a girl, wondering if they should approach, and eventually
talking themselves out of making said approach. A PUA will not
hesitate.
One other thing. This may seem contrary to the spirit of the 3S
rule, but it is nonetheless a field-proven tenet: 3 seconds is only
a guideline. Sometimes it takes more than three ticks to get to an
HB, or to get in a position to do something that would require the
rule to be in effect. So, it's really a precept of approaches to do
something ASAP, or risk losing stature in the eyes of some HB.
~Jack, ASF, 1999/11/12
Q:"How can I know if she likes me?"
A: Watch her body language. Listen to her responses to you. If/how
she touches you. Her facial expressions. Is she twirling her hair?
Licking her lips? Hips facing you? Complimenting you? Listening
attently? Nodding her head in agreement with you? Leaning into you?
Touching your arm or hands (anywhere) or your back? Starting to talk
about sensual/sexual things? Eyebrows raised a bit? Eyes wide open?
Smiling? Teeth when smiling? Head slightly tilted? Eyes and
attention remains on you?
If you've got her number and have called her more than once to set
up a date and she keeps cancelling or making excuses, she DOES NOT
like you. That, or she's doing "The Rules" (some chick guide book)
and you probably don't want to get with her anyway. If she never
returns your calls, she DOES NOT like you. If you've spent a lot of
time with her but have not sexed her and she dumps all her life shit
on you, you have become her grilfriend and are in LJBF land. She
might like you, but she won't have sex with you.
Q:"How do I get a woman who is not interested, to go out with me?"
A: You can't, but that's obvious. She has to have some interest in
you in order to "go out" with you so the real question should be
"How do I get a woman interested in me so that she'll want to go out
with me?" The steps to doing that are all over this FAQ.
Q:"What do I do if she says she has a boyfriend?"
A: First of all, in your initial meeting with a woman, don't go out
of your way to ask if she has a boyfriend unless it is part of the
conversation. Asking about it will give her the impression that
you're trying to get with her and your approach will lose some
strength. A woman will introduce the boyfriend (real or not) into
the conversation in 2 ways:
1. "I have a boyfriend." This is usually given as a response to you
asking her for something ("Can I have your number?", "Let's go
out.", "Let's get to know each other better.", etc.). If that is her
first response, you have not done enough work to attract her or you
have supplicated to her (asked her for something - her number, a
date, whatever) and did not structure an opportunity for HER to get
with YOU rather that YOU trying too hook up with HER. At this point,
don't give up (especially if you seem to be setting up some good
rapport). Rather, regroup, refocus, and reframe the situation in
your mind. Don't make her boyfriend mention a big deal and simply
keep building up your personality. Don't TELL her you're a
super/great/awesome guy. SHOW her by your actions, your mannerisms,
your confidence. Give her the subtle impression that whoever ger
boyfriend is, he doesn't have what you have. He can't offer what you
offer. Then, instead of supplicating to her again (asking for
number, blah blah), structure an opportunity. If she doesn't take
the bait, move on.
2. "Yeah, blah blah, my boyfriend did that the other day. Blah
blah." A lot of the time when a woman mentions her boyfriend (real
or not) in this way (as part of her conversation rather than as an
excuse for not getting with you), she is doing 2 things. She is
asserting her desireability and quality, and she is testing to see
your reaction. Treat it as simply part of the conversation.
Remember, just because a chick says she has a boyfriend does not
mean he makes her happy, satisfies her, or is meaningful to her at
all. Wommen CHOOSE to be with someone and they can CHOOSE to not be
with that someone and be with you. Your job is to attract her, get
her excited about you, then structure an opportunity for her to get
with you.
Suggestion from Maniac High:
Maniac: I am pretty busy right now, so lets go to coffee and get to
know each other a bit more.
Chick: I have a boyfriend.
Maniac: So what does that have to do with anything?.. I mean I
didn't ask him to coffee, I asked YOU. How about next Thursday?
Q:"How do I get a woman's phone number?"
A: Don't ask her for it. Yes, this doesn't sound right, does it? But
the best way to get a number (a REAL number) is to not ask but
rather structure an opportunity for her to get with you, after
you've already done the work of fascinating, attracting, and
seducing her. Once she is excited about you, she will fall over
herself to give you her number once you've structured an opportunity
for her. You can do that with some NLP negation (you: "Hm, I've got
to go. It's been nice talking with you. It's too bad we won't be
able to have an interesting conversation like this again..." her:
"Of course we can, here's my number!") or you can do it by asking
her a to provide a suggestion as to how you could hook up again
(you: "It's been nice talking with you. Can you think of a way we
can get together and do this another time?" her: "Sure, here's my
number!").
Further: Often when structuring the opportunity she will say "Well,
How about you give me your phone number". The proper response to
this is either to say "All right, lets go ahead and EXCHANGE
numbers" and pull out your pen. Or else agree, write down your phone
number, and then hand her a pen and paper ... she will reciprocate.
It is understood. Either way, you absolutely want her number. If she
will not give it over, you have done something wrong. Don't trust
her to call you, it wont happen.
~toecutter, 2001/01/17
Also, here is something to think about: Don't bother getting a
woman's number if you can fuck her in the next hour. Get the number
after. Or, if you can't fuck her but can immediately set up a coffee
meeting nearby, go for that. Remember, the purpose of getting a
number is to get with her. If you know for sure you can get with her
in the next hour, why bother with the number?
Further: the above is a good rule to live by, but remember that
getting a number is an intermediate close. When you have the number,
it is locked into her mind that it is an ongoing relationship, you
can still get her home or go for the coffee after getting the number
if you structure it properly (like you would with a male friend,
i.e. you need his number because you have to call him for
something.) It is never too early to get a number.
~toecutter, 2001/01/17
Q:"What do I do or say if when I ask a women for her number, she
says 'Why don't you give me YOUR number?' in a way that she is
giving me a hard time to get her number or outright refusing to give
it?"
A: See previous question fo a possible answer. This is almost as bad
as getting the "I have a boyfriend." response. Same as that
situation, it means you have not done enough work to attract her or
you have supplicated to her (asked her for something - her number, a
date, whatever) and did not structure an opportunity for HER to get
with YOU rather that YOU trying too hook up with HER.
If you think you've built up some good rapport but if she insists on
getting your number rather than you getting hers, reframe it for her
and say "I don't give my number out because I find that some women
just collect the numbers as some sort of game - comparing their pile
their girl friends'. I don't play those games." If necessary, add
that you keep a hactic schedule and if she's the one doing the
calling then she'll probably establish a lasting relationship with
your answering machine. However, if you get her number, you'll be
able to call her when you have the time to talk.
If she still resists, offer to trade numbers OR get her e-mail
address (or trade) instead (these days, it's almost as good -
sometimes better depending on the chick).
You may find that none of the above works to your liking. If you
still have time (still have her attention) at this point, don't give
up (especially if you seem to be setting up some good rapport).
Rather, regroup, refocus, and reframe the situation in your mind.
Don't make what she said a big deal and simply keep building up your
personality. Don't TELL her you're a super/great/awesome guy. SHOW
her by your actions, your mannerisms, your confidence. Give her the
subtle impression that other men don't have what you have. They
can't offer what you offer. Then, instead of supplicating to her
again (asking for number, blah blah), structure an opportunity for
her to give you hers. If she doesn't take the bait, move on.
Suggestion from Maniac High:
Maniac: Naw, I can't do that because you see, I know you won't call
me.. ;-) you will take the #, then show it to your friends and
giggle together while passing around all the numbers you collected
to each other ;-). Wont you? ;-) See, I know what ladies are like!
;-) So that is why I dont give #s to ladies who won't give me
theirs. So if we both want the chance to meet again again, you can
give me yours, or if that is not OK, we can exchange #s with each
other.. [said in a firm, but humourous tone with a smile]
Q:"How do I know the phone number she gave me is legit?"
A: Uhhh... call it? Seriously, though, here are some useful tips:
If she gives you her number verbally for you to write, wait a few
seconds after you've written it down and then ask her to repeat it
to make sure you've "written it down right". If the numbers don't
match, she's spewing a garbage number at you. Call her on her BS.
Best case, she is impressed by your backbone, apologizes, and gives
you her real number. Worst case, you show a woman that you have a
spine and don't let women walk all over you.
If she writes the number down herself, wait til she hands you the
number then pretend you can't read it and ask her to repeat the
number to you verbally. If the numbers don't match, she's spewing a
garbage number at you. Use the same advice as above.
Rather than calling her on her BS right away, make it seem like
you're onto her game without getting pissed and simply play along
with it and keep building rapport. Turn it around so that she starts
actually wanting to give you her real number and then, before you
go, give her the indication that you will call her to hook up later.
Then laugh and say "Unless, of course, the number you gave me was
BS...". Pause. Giver her a chance to humiliate herself by admitting
the previous number was false and handing you her real number. Worst
case? You're no better off than before and she gives you another
bogus number. Best case? You've given her a second chance (how great
of you... what a man) to get with you and you can reassure her that
you're not a typical guy and you understand why she might feel the
need to give out bogus numbers.
Q:"After getting a woman's phone number, when should I call, what
should I say, how do I set up a date?"
A: Before dealing with phone numbers, here is something to think
about: Don't bother getting a woman's number if you can fuck her in
the next hour. Get the number after. Or, if you can't fuck her but
can immediately set up a coffee meeting nearby, go for that.
Remember, the purpose of getting a number is to get with her. If you
know for sure you can get with her in the next hour, why bother with
the number?
OK, now that specific knowledge is out of the way, when do you first
call and how to set up a date? Don't call too damn soon (same day).
That's just sad and desperate. Deciding when to call after that day
should be based on how much you think she's already interested and
how attracted to you she was when you left her. if she seemed VERY
interested, it is probably OK to call the next day (at least 24-36
hours after fist meeting) and your SOLE goal is to set up a time &
place. A first meeting should NOT be a "date" but rather meeting her
for coffee or drinks somewhere. There is no need to fluff over the
phone. If she seemed interested but was not already hot for you, a
couple days is good. You may need to re-build her interest when she
talks to you on the phone. You have to be congruent with what you
were like when she first met you. That means if you were an amazing
flirt when you first met, you should be a bit flirtatious over the
phone. But just enough to leave her wanting more and then set up a
time/place to meet. Finally, get off the phone before she does. Just
say "OK, great, I have to go now - I'll see you later. Bye.
<click>"
If when trying to set up a meeting, she seems to begin to initiate
the "flakeout" routine ("Oh, can I call you back - what's your #?
I'm not sure when I'm available... blah blah blah") just tell her
that you called to set up a meeting and if you can't get her to
agree to anything NOW then maybe it's not worth getting together AT
ALL. Set up your rules for her. Make sure she knows you don't take
BS from anyone. Doesn't matter what her excuse is, don't believe it.
Women will say, and have said everything under the sun as an excuse
to flake out. "I'm flossing my cat.", "My roommate needs help
building a bomb.", "My landlord is coloring my hair to match the
drapes..." whatever... just realize that whatever they say other
than "OK, let's meet at X at X time" is a flakeout and it's your job
to not take her BS, give her your rules, and then let her decide
what she wants to do. If she wants to LOSE the opportunity to spend
time with you, that's HER choice. However, if she's smart she will
commit to something before you hang up.
Further: There is two schools of thought on this one. First up, the
probability of the # not blurring is much higher if you give her
some rules when you hand over your number in the exchange, and rule
# 1 is that when you call or if she calls you you will say just as
she has to say "Hi, <PUA name>, I am so glad you called, I was
just thinking about you." This works well because it sets the frame
for the rest of the conversation, and if she lives up to the rule,
then you know you can be short and sweet as above.
She doesn't follow the rule, and you have a possible blur on
your hands. Treat these as if they are fresh approaches. It is going
to take a good 15 minutes to get it back. Fluff, pattern, entertain.
Anchour it on your voice. Move it towards phone sex. See David
Shade's post: "Re: Seducing Girls/Women on AOL (was Need Help/Advice
and Fast!!!)" available at http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-
bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=1&mn=482977842
~toecutter, 2001/01/17
[FAQ continued in next post...]
--
jay <formh...@aol.com>
Fast Seduction 101 - http://www.fastseduction.com/
Class is now in session...