***** Einstein's Foreskin Found. *****
hanson
Ulmer Stadtzeitung by Karl Peter Stachel, 04-01-2003.
***** Einstein's Foreskin Found. *****
Under special arrangements with Ulm's urban renewal and
redevelopment agency, German archeologists from the University
of Munich were granted a few days for archeological investigations
on the Ulmer Bahnhofstrasse, prior to the begin of demolition
activities by city crews.
There, in Einstein's house of birth on Bahnhofstrasse 20
they discovered behind an alcove an old, sealed perfume bottle,
filled with formalin and labeled as "Von userem liebsten Albertle,
14. März 1879" (From our dearest Baby Albert).
It turned out that the small, grayish lump within the bottle was originally
Einstein's foreskin and was kept their on the wishes of his mother.
The find was hailed as very significant by Einstein's disciples to
whom this artifact appears to be as dear as the Dead Sea scrolls
are to Christianity.
The current Ulmer Moel, Ariel Meir-Cohn, was consulted and he
asserted that the foreskin could have been indeed a sentimental
keep sake by Einstein's parents, in memory of their Baby Albert's
circumcision on 14 March, 1879 .
To verify, the descendents of the then operative Moel in charge, around
1879, Baruch Messerman, were located and interviewed by local TV
and the investigations are continuing into this just breaking story. The
Messermans said that they would check their family records at home
and in their temple for further clues.
Meanwhile, Einstein's penile residue was flown to McMaster in the USA
who maintains a "brain bank" where Einstein's brain has been preserved
in a jar. Einstein's pickled brain and his foreskin and will undergo
DNA analysis to see whether the two have something in common.
Rusty Shackleford
news:Cyaia.2469$ey1.2...@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net...
Bwahhhhhhhh ha ha ha haaaah (This is a joke, right?)
Rusty Shackleford
Ole D. Rughede
"hanson" <han...@quick.net> skrev i en meddelelse
news:Cyaia.2469$ey1.2...@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net...
Dear Dr. Hanson,
Thank you for the exiting news, which one at a first glance would
consider an April fool, if not comming directly from your usually
utmost reliable sources. I wonder if the decendants of the
Messerschmidts should also be inquired to find out, who made
the original circumscission Messer (knife).
It is wonderful to have these dismemberments united in the US with
regard to a thorough DNA analysis and a possible future cloning.
As far as I recall, Einsteins brains are kept in a number of jam glasses,
since the original brain has been parted and sliced several times.
With modern medical techniques, however, it might probably be
possible to have them assembled again with the foreskin, and from
this conglomeration have produced a number of clones to the
benefit of the US administration, Pentagon, and the President of the
United States left alone without the wise advices the late presidents
Roosevelt and Truman had from Einstein about warfare and bombs.
I am not sure, how they will work or should be kept, either in
alchohol or formaline, these bebrained foreskins, and I will not
puzzel my own brain on that problem, forgetting the incredible
advancements in US presidential brain power that may be
achieved just from a sniff of alchoholic vapors from an Einstein
capsule or glass, when enjoying the beautiful clone reminding
of something described by Franz Werfel in his famous book:
Stern der Ungeborenen = Star of the Unborn, 1946.
In case it should be possible to have an extra clone sent to my
country in return for our coalition participation, please let me
know, and I will act for an honourable reception, hoping that
we could have it burried here near the grave of Niels Bohr for
the eternal Bohr-Einstein discussion to continue fruit- and
peacefully between these most competent discussion partners.
Yours sincerely,
Ole D. Rughede
Dan Bloomquist
hanson wrote:
> API/UPI Ulm's city news service.
> Ulmer Stadtzeitung by Karl Peter Stachel, 04-01-2003.
>
> ***** Einstein's Foreskin Found. *****
>
My wife wanted to know why I was laughing. I told her.
She said, 'And these are supposed to be adults'.
Guess it doesn't say much for me, I was laughing...
Best, Dan.
Ken S. Tucker
Hanson, this was done, an examination of this tiny piece
of meat led to the antisymmetrical Hamburger, now Macdonalds
is offering Left and Right Handed Burgers.
Some Educational Authorities are now suggesting this lunch
should be included (at federal cost) to all 1st year tensor
calculus students. However the Bush administration rejected
this idea on the grounds that upside down burgers would suffer
discrimination. The supreme court is now ruling on the spin
the lawyers are providing.
Geesh, stay up with the news....
EL
[EL]
If it was not a joke then it MUST be a JOKE.
EL
Gregory Dean Foster
Damn... I was hoping there was an easier way to understand differential
geometry!
Jim Greenfield
What we really need to know is......Was it infinitely large or c small??
Zagan
"EL" <hem...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:7563cb80.03040...@posting.google.com...
[Zagan]
It has to be a Joke (Damn the tradition of the pointless Aprils Fools
tradition.).
Should a clone of Einstein's penile residue be produced, Who might we have
in his adulthood, but just a another person, no more intelligent that
average. Despite Einstein's flaws and misconceptions, he was a genius
however faulty this theories ~may~ have been. His insistence on a static
universe, however faulty, does not remove from me my sense of his genius as
a scientist. However wrong or correct his notions of relativity may have
been, who amonst us could have conceived such a theory that (so far) has
stood the test of time? Right or wrong, he is to me a hero of science. There
is a reason his notions have stood the test of time. His theory and the
tests done upon it, have survived scientific scrutiny over the years. We can
all gather together and say he was wrong, yet we cannot prove using
scientific methods, anything but what we like to think. And that is fine as
long as we realize our thoughts mean nothing. Einstein was not entirely
correct since he insisted on a static universe. But even if he was wrong in
this respect, I see no reason to reject his theories out-right. Einstein was
an exceptional person. He may have been wrong in some respects, but his
genius in conceiving relativity cannot be denied.
// Jim
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