Here's an interesting study I thought everybody would be
interested in seeing.

By the way:  Has anyone noticed how utterly fucked the DejaNews
posting function has gotten lately?  I had to navigate through
about six windows to post this.... Jesus H. Christ!

biff alcatraz

******************************

Online Chat Sparks Honesty In Romantic Relationships

ATHENS, Ohio -- Online chat can sprout real-life romances that
begin with surprisingly honest communication and realistic
expectations, traits that many traditional relationships lack at
first, according to an Ohio University sociologist who is
studying relationships that begin in cyberspace.

"I really feel the basis of these relationships is better and
deeper than many real-life meetings because the couples are
honest with each other in their writings," says Andrea Baker,
assistant professor of sociology at Ohio University's Lancaster
campus and author of this preliminary study. "People have
reflected upon their differences." Couples often are
excruciatingly honest about themselves when chatting online, due
in part to a respect for the power and finality of the written
word that Baker says hasn't existed for many generations.

Written communication was a staple of early American culture
that dwindled with the arrival of technology. But, ironically,
it is new technology that has rectified this old form and
brought accountability back into conversations, Baker says.

For her research, Baker studied 18 couples ranging in age from
16 to 57 who met online between 1993 and 1997. She sent
questionnaires by e-mail to participants between May 1997 and
January 1998 and later conducted follow-up interviews. Most
couples were engaged, living together or married during the
survey. Two of them had separated.

Baker's study suggests the written word tends to promote frank
conversation in cyberspace, especially between couples who
eventually want to meet face-to-face. Study participants said
this immediate sincerity when meeting online was a pleasant
switch from the typical blind date scenario.

"Couples say this kind of honesty is absolutely necessary to
forming a good relationship," Baker says. "In most cases, they
are extremely honest and really cover the downsides as well as
the upsides so there won't be any surprises when they meet."

Couples chatted online anywhere from weeks to years before they
met in person. And in several instances, couples in the study
traveled long distances -- from eastern to western parts of the
United States and even to foreign countries -- to visit each
other.

Couples also seemed to place a greater emphasis on personality
than physical appearances, Baker says.

"For most couples, sharing photos was a natural step in
progressing with the relationship before actually meeting," she
says. "But because they got to know each other before they saw
the photos, I think the photos were of less importance."

Study participants met their partners while communicating in
chat rooms or playing trivia games on the Internet. Attraction
was sparked because of common interests, response time in
chatting, qualities described online and one another's writing
style -- all suggesting, Baker says, that the Internet isn't the
cold and removed world that many believe.

Some study participants said they probably wouldn't have met
their partners if it weren't for the Internet because they live
in different regions or because they travel in different
intellectual circles.

"This is a new way of meeting people and hitting it off. And it
really seems to span the age groups," Baker says.

Online communication actually adds a step to the traditional
progression of a relationship, Baker says, typically advancing
from chatting online for a period of time to talking on the
phone, then eventually to meeting in person. For some people,
this lengthened process may be healthier emotionally, she says.

"I think that is a huge advantage, especially for people who
really want to articulate their inner feelings and might not be
comfortable in social settings," she says.

Baker presented her research at the annual meeting of the
American Sociological Association in San Francisco Aug. 21-25.
She plans to continue her studies of online relationships and is
considering writing a book on the topic. Her research was funded
in part by the Ohio University-Lancaster Research and Curriculum
Development Committee. Baker holds an appointment in the College
of Arts and Sciences.

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welcome back my friend to the show that never ends :)

it's good to see you here and be reminded again of your talent for culling
through the bull and finding positive messages that are worth reading...

personally, I'm a newsreader software user... Outlook Express for the moment,
though only because of convenience and lack of hard drive space... I would
probably go with Forte Agent, Anawave Gravity, and News Rover (for three
different reasons) if I had unlimited funds and space)...

but anyway, it's not just dejanews from my experience and from the reports of
others here... the usenet servers are dropping data more and more it seems...
and missing posts have become an unacceptible, but accepted part of the
experience...

as to the article below, I believe it from personal experiences and
observations... and long distance sharing has been part of relationships for a
long time, the internet is just bringing it into more people's living rooms, so
to speak... a song I'll tag on the end of this comes to mind... and this also
reminds me of a mailing list (one of many) that I used to browse...
http://www.rainbow-connection.org

it's a group of people helping each other cope wih the challenges of long
distance relationships... was a moderately busy list, about 8-10 messages a day,
last winter (that's the northern hemisphere winter, for my southern hemisphere
friends)...

anyway, thanks for the thoughts... hope you are healing well...

honest love, ric

       "Mail Order Annie"  by Harry Chapin

       Originally found on the album Short Stories

       At first I did not think it could be you.
       But you're the only one that got off the train.
       So you must be my wife Miss Annie Halsey
       Yes, I guess I am your husband, Hello I'm Harry Crane.

       Mail Order Annie, never mind your crying.
       Your tears are sweet rain in my empty life.
       Mail Order Annie, can't you see I'm trying
       To tell you that I'm glad you're here,
       You are the woman who's come to be my wife.

       You know you're not as pretty as I dreamed you'd be,
       But then I'm not no handsome fancy Dan.
       And out here looks are really not important.
       It's what's inside a woman when she's up against the land.

       Mail Order Annie, never mind your crying.
       Your tears are sweet rain in my empty life.
       Mail Order Annie, can't you see I'm trying
       To tell you that I'm glad you're here,
       You are the woman who's come to be my wife.

       You know it's not no easy life you're entering.
       The winter wind comes whistling through the cracks there in the sod.
       You know you'll never have too many neighbors.
       There's you Girl, and there's me, and there's God.

       You know I'm just a dirty man from the North Dakota plains.
       You're one girl from the city who's been thrown out on her own.
       I'm standing here not sure of what to say to you
       'Cepting Mail Order Annie, lets you and me go home.

       Mail Order Annie, never mind your crying.
       Your tears are sweet rain in my empty life.
       Mail Order Annie, can't you see I'm trying
       To tell you that I'm glad you're here,
       You are the woman who's come to be my wife.

-----------------------------------------------------------
a touch of harry... honest love, ric