Dating advice?
Kelli Quick
girls asking you out or do you prefer to ask yourselves?
Bob
<k.q...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
> Here's a question I'd like to ask all the guys out there. Do you like
> girls asking you out or do you prefer to ask yourselves?
I suppose there must be a small number of men out there who are
uncomfortable with the idea of a woman being assertive to take the
initiative to ask for a date. For each of these, I assure you, there are
10 billion guys that would absolutely love it. Some guys are just too shy
to make the first move; others might not see a romantic possibility with
you until you initiate. If you like someone and he hasn't asked you out, I
wouldn't leave it up to fate. Good luck!
Glenn Saunders
: Here's a question I'd like to ask all the guys out there. Do you like
: girls asking you out or do you prefer to ask yourselves?
Why would anyone LIKE having to ask and risk rejection? Just because men
are stuck in that position doesn't mean we like it.
MrScottly
old fart. I've never been married, but, it's starting to look like the way to
go. I would rather a girl ask me out, except, I never get that lucky!!!
MrSc...@delphi.com
User
>Here's a question I'd like to ask all the guys out there. Do you like
>girls asking you out or do you prefer to ask yourselves?
I don't care as long as you both want to go out with each other
Jeffrey Haber
>Here's a question I'd like to ask all the guys out there. Do you like
>girls asking you out or do you prefer to ask yourselves?
I think that most secure guys would love it if a woman asked them out.
It's actually pretty rare. Come prepared with a pillow and some
smelling salts so that you can place it under the guys head before he
hits the ground when he faints.
Entropy
>
> >Here's a question I'd like to ask all the guys out there. Do you like
> >girls asking you out or do you prefer to ask yourselves?
It is wonderful to be asked out. Whoever does the asking is risking
rejection, so be prepared for that. But risking is part of life. Good
luck!
--
Well, something like that.
Gabriel
http://www.saturn.net/~entropy/
Sherwin
ent...@saturn.net (Entropy) wrote:
I'd second that.
Sherwin
Duane Morin
>Here's a question I'd like to ask all the guys out there. Do you like
>girls asking you out or do you prefer to ask yourselves?
Ask away! You can't say no if I didn't ask you anything.
Duane
========================================================
Views and opinions expressed above are mine and do not
necessarily reflect those of my employer.
http://www.tiac.net/users/dmorin/ <-- A real "home" page
========================================================
Virgilio 'Dean' B. Velasco Jr.
> allegedly wrote:
>
>>Here's a question I'd like to ask all the guys out there. Do you like
>>girls asking you out or do you prefer to ask yourselves?
>
>didn't want to go out with and now I know how some girls feel when
>they have to reject someone. I'd rather do the asking and risk being
>the rejectee than the rejecter.
There's a great deal of truth to that. On the other hand, I think that
a lot of men (myself included) would very much appreciate being asked out.
There's something very flattering about having a woman chase after you
for a change.
--
Virgilio "Dean" Velasco Jr, Department of Electrical Eng'g and Applied Physics
graduate student slave, roboticist-in-training and Q wannabe
To infinity and beyond! | Remember: Wise men still seek Christ.
And I shall shed my light over dark evil, for darkness cannot stand the light...
TempestHead
>
> Kelli Quick <k.q...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
> >Here's a question I'd like to ask all the guys out there. Do you like
> >girls asking you out or do you prefer to ask yourselves?
I hate it when the bitches ask first. It means *loss of control* and we
, the superior male species, can't have that.
The LOVE DOKTOR
"Say what....bitch"
Paul Probus
>>
>>>Here's a question I'd like to ask all the guys out there. Do you like
>>>girls asking you out or do you prefer to ask yourselves?
>>
>>didn't want to go out with and now I know how some girls feel when
>>they have to reject someone. I'd rather do the asking and risk being
>>the rejectee than the rejecter.
>
>There's a great deal of truth to that. On the other hand, I think that
>a lot of men (myself included) would very much appreciate being asked out.
>There's something very flattering about having a woman chase after you
>for a change.
>
outgoing women to offset my own shyness and by her taking a chance to ask me
out would cause me to be all the more attracted to her. I think it's time for
women to ask guys out more, it's the '90's for god's sake.
And to answer the first person's question, I would prefer the woman doing the
asking, only because I hate getting rejected (but who likes it?). I've been
turned down enough times (everytime) to just not bother to take the risk.
I've sworn to never turn down a woman who's asked me out, unless I'm already
dating (highly unlikely) or she's too young or retarded or something like that.
If she's fat and ugly and shy and asks me out, I'll give her a chance, who
knows, she might be the nicest woman I ever met.
Paul Probus
pro...@cnj.digex.net
Steve Ardern
>> >Here's a question I'd like to ask all the guys out there. Do you like
>> >girls asking you out or do you prefer to ask yourselves?
>
I think it's pretty cool when the girl makes the first move. It shows that
they are interested in you from the start, rather than the more usual you
being interested in them. They ask you something, you reply: if you don't
like them then you politely get out of the conversation, if you like them
however then hey luck is on your side - go for it!
Scott Lacey
> >> >Here's a question I'd like to ask all the guys out there. Do you like
> >> >girls asking you out or do you prefer to ask yourselves?
I, personally, absolutely *LOVE* it when a woman asks me out.
Unfortunately it doesn't happen very often. It's really disheartening
knowing that there may be some women interested in getting to know me but
they do nothing about it.
Not only is it extremely flattering to have a woman ask me out, but her
attractiveness to me skyrockets because she's shown me she's not afraid
to go for what she wants. Not a wall flower.
> It will also provide insight into what a male's experience of pursuing
> women is like, though I suspect that your rejection percentage will be
> much lower.
Absolutely! If women started asking men out, they'd have a good idea of
the basic elements of male experience. They'd understand men a lot more.
No doubt the rejection percentage wouldd be a *lot* lower for women. In
fact, I'd say if a woman asks a guy out, she's got about a 99% chance of
a positive response. Heck, if a woman asks me out I go anyway just for
the chance to get to know someone better.
Hmmm....maybe it's *not* such a good idea for women to ask men out.
Because if they did there'd be no more single women! ;)
spl
SDRamones
even made me feel more amorous towards my own partner. if you think it is
worth the humiliation that sometimes goes along with asking people out on
dates. i say that it should be worth taking any type of risk because that
one person you ask might be that special someone.
((( SDRa...@aol.com )))
Later,
Sean
Sean Ramones
David King
> > >> >Here's a question I'd like to ask all the guys out there. Do you like
> > >> >girls asking you out or do you prefer to ask yourselves?
My experience has been that if a girl wants to go out with a guy, she
will drop him so many hints (smile a lot, strike up conversation
uninitiated, maintain eye contact longer than usual, become slightly
nervous/flustered in your presence, etc.), without directly asking him
out. A guy picks up on these, and if he is attracted, asks her out.
I would feel awkward if a girl asked me out, either because I might not
want to go out with her and not know how to answer on the spot..., or it
would feel like she was saying "well I don't think you're perceptive
enough to realize I want to go out with you, so I'll ask you directly"
Scott Lacey
> I'm sure someone will feel compelled to inform me that I'm too ugly to
> live. Or that I'm the evil bitch from hell. This may, in fact, be the
> case - but it doesn't seem to stop men from approaching me fairly regularly.
> It's only when I attempt to initiate interactions that the (usually polite)
> excuses begin.
>
> > Absolutely! If women started asking men out, they'd have a good idea of
> > the basic elements of male experience. They'd understand men a lot more.
> > No doubt the rejection percentage wouldd be a *lot* lower for women. In
> > fact, I'd say if a woman asks a guy out, she's got about a 99% chance of
> > a positive response. Heck, if a woman asks me out I go anyway just for
> > the chance to get to know someone better.
> >
>
> I've got to be running a 99% rejection level by now :). 98% polite,
> friendly rejection - but still 99% rejection.
>
> It's been 11 years since a man said yes to an invitation from me. Obviously,
> rejection is chronic but not lethal. I get the feeling that the only
> women SOME men want to be asked out by are the ones that they would opt
> to ask out themselves.
That stands to reason. How many men have you accepted that you, in turn,
would have asked out yourself?
Well, Sandra, all I can say is - what would you tell a *guy* who was
having this problem? Therein lies your answer.
spl
Sarah
>spl
Well, I have resolved to start asking men out. I am tired of taking
whomever askes me out because I am too lazy to approach the men that I
am interested in. Granted, the rejection level might be high, and
unpleasant to deal with but at least I am the one doing the choosing,
not the one being chosen.
Sarah
VLDept-E.LOR(MT5655)1240MT
<car...@ptag2.pt.cyanamid.com> wrote:
>It's been 11 years since a man said yes to an invitation from me. Obviously,
>rejection is chronic but not lethal. I get the feeling that the only
>women SOME men want to be asked out by are the ones that they would opt
>to ask out themselves.
in you and ask you out, do you?
In other words, if a man interested in a woman, it doesn't matter who
asks whom out. It would be unimaginable that the woman asking the man out
becomes a turn-off.
But if the man is NOT interested in a woman, he won't ask her out in
the first place. Would he accepted if she asks him out? probably not,
although he might be flattered...
--
Edward Lor
l...@mtdcc.ATT.COM
AT&T Bell Labs
car...@ptag2.pt.cyanamid.com
>> I've got to be running a 99% rejection level by now :). 98% polite,
>> friendly rejection - but still 99% rejection.
>>
>> rejection is chronic but not lethal. I get the feeling that the only
>> women SOME men want to be asked out by are the ones that they would opt
>> to ask out themselves.
>
> would have asked out yourself?
>
How many men have I accepted that I would have asked out myself? All of
them. If someone I would have asked out anyway were to beat me to the
punch, why would I reject them? I suspect what you meant to ask was how
many have I accepted who I would not have asked. I'd say roughly 50%.
As for the rest - well, If I'm already seeing someone I'm not really open
to advances; I don't date men who are currently married; and occassionally
some men just scare me.
> Well, Sandra, all I can say is - what would you tell a *guy* who was
> having this problem? Therein lies your answer.
>
I would answer with exactly what I'm doing - brush it off and don't give
up. My post was just a comment to the gentlemen who were saying that
women would have such an easy time and never get rejected if they were
to ask men out.
Sandra
Glenn Saunders
: But if the man is NOT interested in a woman, he won't ask her out in
: the first place. Would he accepted if she asks him out? probably not,
: although he might be flattered...
Your logic is false. Men are NOT as discriminating as women--at least at
this phase. If presented with the rare opportunity to have a first date
with someone without having to do any work, men are more likely to say yes
than a woman who is constantly hit on. Women have the luxury of filtering
out the suitors. Even if a man doesn't see an initial spark, it is a
"freebie". It is within his best interest to give her the benefit of the
doubt that there is more than meets the eye. If she is the least bit
physically attractive, then there is next to no chance that he will say
no, unles he is gay or already attached.
Does that mean they will become a couple? No. It simply moves the
rejection further down the line if it doesn't work out.
I'm not saying this to whine, I'm just speaking up because I don't want
women to get the impression that their askout odds are the same. They are
exponentially better.
car...@ptag2.pt.cyanamid.com
> In article <1996Feb15...@ptag2.pt.cyanamid.com>,
> <car...@ptag2.pt.cyanamid.com> wrote:
>>rejection is chronic but not lethal. I get the feeling that the only
>>women SOME men want to be asked out by are the ones that they would opt
>>to ask out themselves.
> in you and ask you out, do you?
>
realize that I was merely commenting on a previous poster's statement
that women would rarely/never get rejected if only they would ask men
out.
>
> But if the man is NOT interested in a woman, he won't ask her out in
> the first place. Would he accepted if she asks him out? probably not,
> although he might be flattered...
>
more of a sure thing for women than asking women out is for men.
Sandra
Chris Taylor
> The mortal VLDept-E.LOR(MT5655)1240MT wrote:
> : But if the man is NOT interested in a woman, he won't ask her out in
> : the first place. Would he accepted if she asks him out? probably not,
> : although he might be flattered...
> Your logic is false. Men are NOT as discriminating as women--at least at
> this phase. If presented with the rare opportunity to have a first date
> with someone without having to do any work, men are more likely to say yes
> than a woman who is constantly hit on. Women have the luxury of filtering
> out the suitors. Even if a man doesn't see an initial spark, it is a
> "freebie". It is within his best interest to give her the benefit of the
> doubt that there is more than meets the eye. If she is the least bit
> physically attractive, then there is next to no chance that he will say
> no, unles he is gay or already attached.
I'm not sure I buy this. I think that there are as many women who are "never"
hit upon as there are ones who are "constantly" hit on. <-- (Yes, I know this
is a preposition at the end of the sentence... sorry.) I don't think that
any gender has a particular advantage here.
I did not date in high school or undergrad. In fact, I remained dateless
until last year. (I'm now 26.) It's not like I couldn't have found a
date. In high school and undergrad I have had a number of women let me know
in no uncertain way that they were interested, but I just wasn't ready. As
odd as this may sound to some of you in this newsgroup, I had other things
that were more important to me than dating women. I hope this doesn't come
across as arrogant. People are attracted to others all the time, and I don't
claim to be somehow special because others have been attracted to me. That's
not my point.
My point is this:
If you ask someone out and get turned down or get the LJBF line, it
doesn't necessarily mean that the other person sees some fault in you.
They just may not be interested in dating at that particular time.
Chris
--| The way to a man's heart is through his blood vessels. |--
--| http://tempest.ecn.purdue.edu:8001/~taylor/ tay...@ecn.purdue.edu |--
VLDept-E.LOR(MT5655)1240MT
Chris Taylor <taylor@PROBLEM_WITH_INEWS_GATEWAY_FILE> wrote:
>I did not date in high school or undergrad. In fact, I remained dateless
>until last year. (I'm now 26.) It's not like I couldn't have found a
>date. In high school and undergrad I have had a number of women let me know
>in no uncertain way that they were interested, but I just wasn't ready. As
>odd as this may sound to some of you in this newsgroup, I had other things
>that were more important to me than dating women. I hope this doesn't come
>across as arrogant. People are attracted to others all the time, and I don't
>claim to be somehow special because others have been attracted to me. That's
>not my point.
>
>My point is this:
>
> If you ask someone out and get turned down or get the LJBF line, it
> doesn't necessarily mean that the other person sees some fault in you.
> They just may not be interested in dating at that particular time.
Well, I've heard that line quite often. Is that something with credibility?
When I judge a person, there are things I consider more than what the person
says. The pecking order is:
1) your action
2) your supposed action, i.e. the action society imposed on you
3) what you say
In other words, if you are a normal adult who is healthy physically and
mentally, a good career, and you are 30 years old. You tell me that you
are not interested in dating, but you claim to have
"other things that were more important to you than dating".
Would I believe you? Definitely not.
Why not? What extraordinary attributes have you shown that you don't
have the needs of a normal person? like no need for dating, love life,
etc.?
So, I would change your paragraph a little bit:
If you ask someone out and get turned down or get the LJBF line, it
doesn't necessarily mean that the other person sees some fault in you.
They just may not be interested in dating ***YOU*** at that particular
time.
Now, when you are 25 years old, would your words be believable? probably,
although I would lean towards non-believing. When you are 20 years old and
still in collge? sure, I would believe it.
Monique Volansky
: The mortal VLDept-E.LOR(MT5655)1240MT wrote:
: : But if the man is NOT interested in a woman, he won't ask her out in
: : the first place. Would he accepted if she asks him out? probably not,
: : although he might be flattered...
: Your logic is false. Men are NOT as discriminating as women--at least at
: I'm not sayhnh this to whine, I'm just speaking up because I don't want
: women to get the impression that their askout odds are the same. They are
: exponentially better.
I spoke with a man that I met in a dance club about this. He told me
that he doesn't ask women to dance usually, he waits for them to ask him
because then he knows that they are interested in him. Interestingly, he
asked me to dance, so I don't know if what he said was a line to make me
feel special or not. So, yes, I believe that the odds for women asking
men out are much better than they are for men because men like to feel
that approval.
Monique
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@ Monique Volansky @ Amusement to an @
@ vola...@svpal.org @ @..@ observing mind @
@ @ (----) is study. @
@ @ ( >__< ) -Benjamin @
@ Save the feeder mice @ ^^~~^^ Disraeli @
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