Redneck Dictionary of Idioms

[ROADKILL BUBBA.com]

old sassy--bless her heart
**ROADKILL BUBBA @(((~Legion Of The Damned.com))))**

[yankee7]

> "Sassy" <mu...@askpermisson.com> wrote in article
<80kdqb$eer$1...@autumn.news.rcn.net>...
> I'm not sure why I thought of some of you guys (as actually saying this
> stuff, lol) when I read this, but there ya' go.
> Sassy
>
> Redneck Dictionary of Idioms
>
> Exclamations of surprise:
> "Well, knock me down and steal muh teeth!"
> "Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!"
>
> Threats:
> "I'll slap you so hard, your clothes'll be outtastyle."

I always liked "I'll hit you so hard, your dog'll bark", or "I'll knock ya
into last week."

> "This oughta jar your preserves"
> "Don't you make me open a can o' whoop-ass on ya."

Those "100% Whoop Ass" shirts are everywhere in Dallas these days, sort of
like the Johnson t-shirts a few years ago.

> Compliments:
> "Cute as a sack full o' puppies."
> "Gooder than grits."

"Crazy as a pet coon"? "Crazy as a shithouse rat"? Are those compliments
too?

> Weather:
> "It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."
> "It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepperpatch.
> " Wintery roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot."
>
> Descriptions:
> A bothersome person is "like a booger you cain't thump off."
> When something doesn't work, you say, "That ain't no count."
> If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats."
> "He ran like his feet was on fire and his butt was catchin."
> A hectic schedule keeps you "busier than a cat covering up crap on a
> marble floor."

My all-time fave is still "Oh, that Billy Joe's allright, he just shits
too close to the house."

> Insults:
> "Your momma's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, 'To be
> continued'."
> "He fell out of the ugly tree. . . and hit every branch on the
> way down."
> "Uglier than a bucket full of armpits."
> "The wheel's turning, but the hamster's dead."

"You're a few clowns short of a circus."
"You couldn't pour piss out of your boots if the instructions were on the
heels."
"You got too much yardage between your goal posts."

> Bless her heart:
> Any insult is followed by, "Bless her heart."
> "She's dumber'n a door knob. Bless her heart."
> "She's uglier than homemade soap. Bless her heart."
>
>
> --
> "He's as horny as a three peckered Billy-Goat in a heard of Lambs!"

"Hotter than a puppy with two peters."

Thanks for posting that, Sass.....makes me appreciate a few of the things
make living in the south tolerable for us Yankees. Wait a minute, is
Texas part of the south? Did y'all win that war....you know, the one when
you celebrate Juneteenth?

And what's up with people saying "I mightcould be able to do that for
ya..."? And don't get me started with the whole "fixin" thing....I kid
you not, I heard a woman at work say "I'm fixin' to fax you that
information in a few minutes here....."

--
The Mick --"I am a lover of women,
I am a leader of men,
and I am a surprisingly good dancer
for a big man."
--Mick Foley

[ROADKILL BUBBA.com]

yu are the dumist pekkar wood i ever met--talked at--yakked with --or even seen
of--yu yankee coon ass suns- o -bitch-- if ins yu dont cotten tu our stuff yu
fugger wad--go the fug back north ---ok

[Mitchell Leary]

Used-ta-could in conversation.

Bubba: "Can ya dance?"

Cletis: "Well, I usedtacould!"

-Jeff Foxworthy-

[KentsMiss]

Sassy posted:

>Redneck Dictionary of Idioms

That ole' Sassy.

Bless her heart.

[Alina Holgate]

yankee7 wrote:
> > "Sassy" <mu...@askpermisson.com> wrote in article
> <80kdqb$eer$1...@autumn.news.rcn.net>...
> > I'm not sure why I thought of some of you guys (as actually saying this
> > stuff, lol) when I read this, but there ya' go.

> > Redneck Dictionary of Idioms

> > Threats:
> > "I'll slap you so hard, your clothes'll be outtastyle."

How about some Australians ones:

"I'll beat you like a red-headed stepchild"

> "Crazy as a pet coon"? "Crazy as a shithouse rat"? Are those compliments
> too?

"Crazy as a cut snake" "As flash as a rat with a gold tooth"

> > Weather:
> > "It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."

"As dry as a dead dingoe's donger."

> > Insults:

> > "He fell out of the ugly tree. . . and hit every branch on the
> > way down."
> > "Uglier than a bucket full of armpits."

"As ugly as a hatful of arseholes."

> "You got too much yardage between your goal posts."

"You've got roos (kangaroos) loose in your top paddock"

Busy:

"Busy as a one-armed paper hanger."
"Busy as a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest."
"Busy as a Beirut brickie."
"Flat out like a lizard drinking."

[Don Quixote]

Sassy wrote in message <80kdqb$eer$1...@autumn.news.rcn.net>...

>I'm not sure why I thought of some of you guys (as actually saying this
>stuff, lol) when I read this, but there ya' go.

>Sassy
>
>Redneck Dictionary of Idioms
>

"He was so confused he didn't know whether to shit, wind his watch, or steal
first base."

DQ

[Free The Turkeys]

are yu fukkers for REAL????/---this is off topic---yu have been warned--ok

~~SAVE the TURKEYS~~(( TURKEYS are nice))~~Ducks & Chickens are REAL
MEAN((they rob little old ladies & steal they welfare checks)))

[mat...@my-deja.com]

If you want to see some good redneck humor, check out this site called
Dr. Verne's Northern White Trash Etiquette. It's got a column this week
on a woman who needs cooking tips on how to catch herself a white trash
man. Pretty funny. There's also this thing about Bubba Claus, Santa's
cousin, taking over the Christmas toy delivery.

It's at http://homestead.com/drverne

In article <19991115195602...@ng-ca1.aol.com>,

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