Sylvester is my Shepherd
chief-t...@bluebottle.com
© 2007 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin
(Jehovah's Queer Witness)
Image of Sylvester
http://www.gay-bible.org/blogstuff/2007/2007 10 11.jpg
Accompanying sound file
http://www.gay-bible.org/blogstuff/2007/2007 10 11.wav
We need to create a new religion, using TV icons as our deities. I
propose nominating Sylvester the Cat ( http://www.sylvester-cat.com/
)as the Patron Saint of Neglected Children. For in my generation, and
later ones, it was his antics (and that of other Looney Tunes
characters), that made us laugh, when nothing else in our broken homes
and childhood afforded us this wonderful joy, to show us that life can
indeed be good. (I chose Sylvester as representative for all Warner
Bros. cartoon characters.)
By studying their cartoons, I conclude there had to be at least some
people working for Warner Brothers, who really cared about
children...enough to delight us and make us forget our sorrows, for a
time. It was more than a job for them; it was a calling. Bless every
one of them, for it was a mission well done.
Carl Jung ( http://www.mythosandlogos.com/Jung.html ), the father of
humane psychotherapy, claimed that the gods and goddesses--archetypes--
live in every generation's popular icons. He mentioned movie stars and
comic book characters as examples. I believe he was right on.
Jung's ideas have been a constant inspiration for me...and I use the
strategy of archetypes in ALL my writing, and in my activism. You can
see my archetypes in action, in my many tales...which you'll find on
my website in these two sections:
Poems, Tales, Letters & Essays
http://www.gay-bible.org/write
True Tales From The Castro
http://www.gay-bible.org/truetales
Joseph Campbell ( http://www.mythosandlogos.com/Campbell.html ), one
of Jung's great disciples--in addition to Herman Hesse (
http://www.hermann-hesse.de/eng/ )--stated that mankind is starving
for a NEW mythology for a NEW world. Little did I dream I'd be one of
the authors to bring this about! (No false humility here...after all,
I AM the author of The Final Testament a.k.a. The Faggot Bible.) I
revise old mythology (and create new mythology) on behalf of LGBT
people...and incorporate various cultural icons around the world, and
recreate them as gay deities, messengers, angels, and tricksters.
A great example of my Native American gay tales is:
Grandfather & Grandson
http://www.gay-bible.org/write/2_grand.htm
Here's a very multicultural tale, with deities from various cultures
(Greek, Hindu, Buddhist, Native American, Islamic, etc.):
The Mask of Horus
http://www.gay-bible.org/write/2_horus.htm
And here's a tale that carries on the tradition of Greek mythology,
though with a gay spin to it:
The Cloak of Invisibility
http://www.gay-bible.org/write/2_cloak.htm
In that tale, I literally pick up the "thread" of Greek mythos by
discovering a magic cloak woven with the leftover thread of Ariadne,.
Quote: "I believe it was woven from Ariadne's thread tossed aside in a
forgotten ball, once Theseus made his escape from the Labyrinth."
And THIS hilarious tale:
Jesus On The Okra Winfree Show
http://www.gay-bible.org/write/2_okra.htm
The premise here, is that Jesus DOES return, and he's a flaming queer,
like his Dad. Quote: "Jesus Christ returns to planet earth and, of
course, He is invited to a LOT of talk shows...in order for us to
understand better, what this man called Jesus is really all about. So
it is on the Okra Winfree Show He is asked the question: "Jesus, what
do YOU think was the most important advice YOU ever received in Your
lifetime as the Suffering Messiah?"
I am very proud of this tale:
Brian And The Werewolf
http://www.gay-bible.org/write/2_brian.htm
For I consider it the gay version of Beauty & The Beast. Quote: "In a
time when lonely old ladies were being burned for witchcraft and young
men were tied with bundles of sticks to light these fires, a woman
died at childbirth on the edge of a village. The child's name was
Brian, because he was born in the briars. He grew to be a lover of
men; but these were dangerous times for brotherly love. Brian
therefore lived a lonely life of heartache, and hatred for the
ignorant folk with whom he daily bargained to survive. Until he met
Damien, the werewolf."
It takes place in Wales, when the people were still mostly pagans, but
Xianity had just begun to usurp the ancient Celtic culture there.
And one more:
The Little Angel Who Wouldn't Fly
http://www.gay-bible.org/write/2_angel.htm
Quote: "In the First Year of the Return of Our Lord, there was a
little angel who wouldn't fly. Not that he didn't have wings, nor were
they damaged in any way. He just wouldn't fly. And this was a mystery
to all the other angels who did, and looked below and saw the little
angel like a mite moving across the brown and green face of Urth."
So these are all excellent examples of how I take archetypal
characters out of folklore and religion, and transform them into gay
heros. BTW, all the tales I just listed are part of my collection
"Parables for the 21st Century"...which idea I got way back in 1988
(starting w/The Little Angel Who Wouldn't Fly).
FYI, many people around the world have translated my writing into many
different languages...for which I give permission w/o cost. One of my
ideals is the belief that what I have to say is too important to let
mere lucre stand in the way. Some day, this will all pay off.
I know my future, my destiny, and have even written up all my famous
quotes before they happen. May as well get them out of the way now!
Examples: "When in Rome, vandalize", "There's a little homo in every
homo sapiens", "There are no heteros in foxholes", "Accusing a gay
person of heterophobia is like accusing a Jew of Naziphobia", and
"Many are called but few are chosen, so step right up for your
lederhosen."
I even wrote articles and tales about my future. Two examples:
The Future Belongs To "Moi"
http://www.gay-bible.org/write/2_moi.htm
The Birth Of The Final Testament
http://www.gay-bible.org/write/4_birth.htm
I am a gay prophet, visionary, healer and philosopher...from the pagan
tradition. MOST of my wisdom I was born with...I take hardly any
credit for my gifts. They were NOT earned, but given. I've written
much of my prophecy in Usenet newsgroups, so that when people look
back, I have provided solid PROOF ( http://www.gay-bible.org/usenet )
of my abilities...since I can NOT alter the dates of my postings.
(This is also a good way of protecting your copyrights, w/o costing a
dime.)
I use humor as my main tool for raising consciousness. And I
constantly hone my gift of writing and speaking, in order to refine my
goddess-given talents to the utmost. I now realize that I have finally
entered the time when my gifts now flourish. I have a constant stream
of writing and ideas now going on in my life...not ONE SINGLE WRITER'S
BLOCK exists. It is an exhilarating and fulfilling experience.
I will end my prattling for now, with one more famous quote by yours
truly:
"I will never abuse the Oval Orifice." - El Presidente Zeke
http://www.gay-bible.org/write/3_sylvester.mp3
---finis
--------------------------------------------------------------
Permission granted by author for anyone to distribute this
writing free of charge (including translation into any
language)...under condition that no profit is made therefrom,
and that it remain intact and complete, including title and
credit to the original author.
Ezekiel J. Krahlin
http://www.gay-bible.org
--------------------------------------------------------------
root
> SYLVESTER IS MY SHEPHERD
Suffering Succotash!
golwg
Matthew
Gary Woods
>SYLVESTER IS MY SHEPHERD
That's interesting, but the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a jealous $Deity,
and I don't want to take any chances.
Gary Woods O- K2AHC Public keys at home.earthlink.net/~garygarlic, or get 0x1D64A93D via keyserver
fingerprint = E2 6F 50 93 7B C7 F3 CA 1F 8B 3C C0 B0 28 68 0B
Jim
"root" <matthe...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1192091363....@y42g2000hsy.googlegroups.com...
I'm so ashamed of you!!!
Jim
Cormac Mac Carthaigh
Surely such language is blasphemy in the religion of Sylvester?
I don't fully understand the thread though. The author is talking
about "LBGT" people. Are they some people on an Atkins type diet? They
are LBT fanatics or something? I understand the Lettuce, Bacon and
Tomatoe bit, but what is the 'G'?
Mairtin O'Druachain.
wrote:
Dwyer, Connors is calling to you from the bedroom upstairs to tend
lovingly to his Arse Hole, you disgusting Cunts, fucking dirty old
men.
Mairtin.
joerev...@bellsouth.net
"Cormac Mac Carthaigh" <guydec...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1192144780.3...@y27g2000pre.googlegroups.com...
(Have you _tasted_ supermarket tomatoes?