Frothy the Rabid Snowman
Chief Thracian
-or-
IN FROZEN BLOOD
(The First "Snowman-Splatter" Story In Literary History)
(c) 1989 by Zeke Krahlin
Christmas in Pennsylvania is always bitter cold...and white as virgin
linen spread across the dinner table of an Amish homestead. The
excessive snow is a terrible nuisance to most adults, but to children
it is a playland policed by smiling snowmen with button eyes and
skinny arms. In the early part of the Holiday Season, thousands of
kids in hundreds of Quaker State towns and suburbs, simultaneously
roll the icy lint of God's Great Quilt into legless, roly-poly men of
snow.
These Rubens-ian parodies stand silent vigil before each picture
window blessed by a child's smile...until the first thaw of a false
spring, some time in late February or March--if a big brother doesn't
knock them down much sooner (usually the case). However, this story is
not about all children and snowmen, nor about some children and
snowmen...but about a particular snowman who, one recent winter,
terrorized the good citizens of northwest Pennsylvania with bloodshed
and tragedy.
By the time Timmy put the finishing touches on his snowman-- with
poker chips, checkered hunting cap, two lengths of an old vacuum hose,
and a Groucho Marx false nose--his L.L. Bean mittens and outer
garments of recycled wool were soaking wet. And it was dusk...at which
time, all over the vast state of Pennsylvania, children just like
Timmy stepped into a warm kitchen and left their boots and thinsulate
jumpsuits piled in a puddle by the door.
Timmy, like all these other kids, ate supper and played Nintendo or
Etcha-Sketch, or read the latest Fabulous Four adventure comic book,
or listened to David Seville and The Chipmunks on a transparent red
33-1/3 rpm, or did his homework (unlikely); then peered out the living
room window at his new snowman, before slipping into bed beneath
several layers of Pennsylvania-Dutch-style comforters from J.C.
Penny's. Shortly after 2 a.m., while he slept the untroubled sleep of
a six-year- old boy, a red light suddenly blinked on the computer
console of the control center of a nuclear reactor too near the border
of the suburb in which Timmy's family lived.
It was a leak! But the reactor shut down so fast, and the problem
rectified itself so quickly without human intervention, that the
alarms never sounded, and the leak did not flow beyond the yellow zone
of the third outer wall of lead casing. It was a brief accident of the
lowest priority, and cleanup was a simple, automated process. Not even
so much as one-millionth of an increase in rads was detected by the
geigers; so the foreman on duty was not required to report this leak
to his superiors--only log it in the calendar, then put his feet back
on the console and resume snoring.
But several radical ions did manage to escape into the atmosphere,
and, had they just floated into the upper strata instead of being
blown by a random breeze onto Timmy's snowman several blocks away,
there would be nothing more to tell, and all would still be right with
the world and northwest Pennsylvania.
"The more advanced a technology, the more it resembles magic," goes
the famous quote (or something like that: I can't remember it
verbatim, nor can I recall who said it). And this is exactly what
happened. Somewhere, in the dimension that crosses the border between
physics and sorcery, those several radioactive ions (completely
harmless in the usual order of things) touched Timmy's snowman and,
like the wand of a Fairy Godmother, brought it to life. But a most
unfortunate coincidence turned this miraculous curiosity into a
hideous curse, for a rabid dog happened to be pissing on the snowman
when it suddenly came alive. As the snowman took its first breath, the
mad canine jumped in shock, bit off a chunk of living snow, then ran
away.
By the time Timmy's snowman learned how to slide around (since it had
no legs to walk), it was Christmas Eve... and he was now delirious
with psychotic fantasies and frothing at the mouth (not particularly
noticeable, as the bubbling saliva camouflaged itself quite well
around a snow-encrusted mouth and face).
The nearest habitat was, of course, that occupied by the
presently-slumbering Timmy and family. The rabid snowman managed to
break in, and find the master bedroom. Without a moment's hesitation,
he bludgeoned the parents to death with a small Edwardian night table
recently purchased at an auction in downtown Philadelphia. (This was
not an easy thing to do, as the snowman had no hands to speak of, just
two uneven lengths of vacuum hose for arms. But he was very strong,
very clever, and very mad. He was a cold S.O.B.) Timmy's sister was
next. The police discovered some parts of her stuffed in the trash
compacter, and other parts stuck to her bedroom wall with Crazy
Glue...though her complete remains may never be found.
Timmy was awakened by his sister's screams, and had just enough time
to leave a message on his pillow, with the PlayDoh he was using to
create miniature snowmen: "IT'S THE SNOWMAN"... before the snowman
smashed down his door and dragged Timmy from the house. (There was
also evidence that the snowman tore apart the Christmas tree and
destroyed all the presents around the tree, before leaving the scene
of the crime.)
Timmy's body was never found until April, when the snow thawed, and a
Mennonite farmer was plowing up his field for the first planting.
Naturally, Timmy's message made no sense to the police, until reports
started coming in about a man disguised as a snowman lurking the
streets at night and breaking into houses...some witnesses (with
binoculars) claimed to have seen saliva frothing from the suspect's
mouth, as he suddenly turned and glared in their direction. (Needless
to say, many folks believing in Bigfoot and/or UFO abductions, had a
field day with the media, and were the center of attention at American
Legion and John Birch Society events.)
After several more families were brutally killed, in three counties
across northwest Pennsylvania, the police realized they had a serial
killer on their hands--now dubbed "The Rabid Snowman." He was never
caught, and the homicides continued, until, by March, over twenty-five
families and Christmas trees (with their attendant gifts) had been
wiped out. Suddenly, it was spring; the snows thawed, and the murders
stopped...forever.
The case of The Rabid Snowman remains unsolved, as the only evidence
of the suspect is circumstantial. In a vacant lot in one of the
formerly-terrorized suburbs, a little girl playing hopskotch found the
following items in a clump of weeds: five poker chips, a red-and-black
checkered hunting cap, two long pieces of an old Kirby vacuum hose, a
false nose with eyeglasses and a moustache, and one L.L. Bean mitten
with a piece of orange PlayDoh stuck in the fabric. All these items,
except the last, match the neighbors' description of Timmy's snowman.
And, thanks to a revealing speck of PlayDoh (in the shape of an "i"
or, as some investigators suggest, part of an exclamation point), the
mitten was identified, beyond question, as having once belonged to our
tiny Timmy: God rest his soul.
--
Steal This Blog
http://www.gay-bible.org/steal
--
Zeke Krahlin
http://www.gay-bible.org
Sulis Aeris
news:47622d36...@amsterdam.newsgroups-download.com:
> FROTHY THE RABID SNOWMAN
> -or-
> IN FROZEN BLOOD
>
> (The First "Snowman-Splatter" Story In Literary History)
>
> (c) 1989 by Zeke Krahlin
>
gawd, I loved it!!
--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com
Chief Thracian
>That's what a Christmas story ought to be!
>
>zsarnok
I am honored.
--
Steal This Blog!
http://www.gay-bible.org/steal
--
Steal This Blog!
http://www.gay-bible.org/steal
Chief Thracian
>gawd, I loved it!!
You just made my holiday!
Chief Thracian
On Fri, 14 Dec 2007 07:17:28 GMT, chief_th...@SPAMyahoo.com
(Chief Thracian) wrote:
>"The more advanced a technology, the more it resembles magic," goes
>the famous quote (or something like that: I can't remember it
>verbatim, nor can I recall who said it).
I have since recalled who said it: Arthur C. Clarke:
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from
magic."
It's the THIRD law from his "Three Laws of Prediction". Reference:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarke's_three_laws
I will edit my tale accordingly...though it's still fine as it is.
AND:
Like all my OTHER tales, Frothy is FREE to distribute anywhere at any
time, as often as you'd like...so long as it remains INTACT w/o any
changes to any part of my tale, including title, author's name, and
signature ('cause it includes my URL). And as long as no financial
PROFIT is gained in the distribution.
DruidEire
wrote:
.
ardad...@gmail.com
'Archdruid of Ireland' Vows to destroy Druidism to Protect
Catholacism
The Druidic Shithouse to come down
All this Druid Shithouse, not only on Ireland, but everywhere on the
planet, will now begin to fall in upon the shitheads involved
everywhere - we are going to drag the whole fucking rotten edifice
down. Druidry will be made fun of throughout the mass media,
especially in Ireland. Droolschool and such projects will be played
to
the gallery. First off we want the M3 right over the Hill of Tara,
with a Conedy Theatre built on top. Circuses will be encouraged in
the
grounds of Newgrane - just watch us move. TV, Radio etc.
Better this than another false religion spring up at the hands of
Dwyer and Connor. It can all be rescued in years to come when they
are
dead and gome, built fresh from the ground up.
So let it be.
IP 89.101.88.37
089-101-088037.ntlworld.ie
Michael McGrath 18 Dominick St Kilkenny
Source
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.druid/browse_thread/threa...
ardad...@gmail.com
Mairtin O'Druachain
The Connors Travelling Shithouse will come badly unstuck at Newgrange
tomorrow, we hold Newgrange, Connors is bartred and we're going to
make sure he stays barred.
ardad...@gmail.com
few days left to carry out this murder:
"Anybody who knows where Felber is, please email me. The Cunt won't
live to see Xmas. That's a Sacred Vow." Even though he posts it as
'Martin Druchan' he signs it 'Micko' forgetting the continuity of his
LIE
Another death threat issued on Google Usenet
I.P. 89.101.89.94
Internet Provider NTL Communications (Ireland) Limited
Host on I.P. 089-101-089094.ntlworld.ie
Michael McGrath 18 Dominick St Kilkenny
Original Text
Cheerio Yellow Swiss Scumbag. You ain't norhin but a slimy Swiss Toe
Rag. Your Dad was a Nazi Your mother a Jewess. What a Fucked Up Combo
you turned out to be. You Ignorant Cowardly Mongrel Fox. Any half
decent Paddy would soon kick you to fucking death. As will happen,
Felber, if I ever get my hands on you Fucking Keyboard Killer Boy. If
we ever identify you we'll put your address up on the Web. Then cower,
Asshole Merchant Boy Cos Paddy will bne comin to getcha.
That's a Sacred Promise. And I will fuckin Murder you. All who are
with you And burn your fuckin house down around you. You're not dealin
with Micko now :-) Anybody who knows where Felber is, please email me.
The Cunt won't live to see Xmas. That's a Sacred Vow.
Mairtin O'Druachain
> 'Martin Druchan'/Michael McGrath issues death threats to Dan. Only a
> few days left to carry out this murder:
> "Anybody who knows where Felber is, please email me. The Cunt won't
> live to see Xmas. That's a Sacred Vow." Even though he posts it as
> 'Martin Druchan' he signs it 'Micko' forgetting the continuity of his
> LIE
>
>
> Another death threat issued on Google Usenet
>
> I.P. 89.101.89.94
> Internet Provider NTL Communications (Ireland) Limited
> Host on I.P. 089-101-089094.ntlworld.ie
> Michael McGrath 18 Dominick St Kilkenny
>
> Original Text
>
> Cheerio Yellow Swiss Scumbag. You ain't norhin but a slimy Swiss Toe
> Rag. Your Dad was a Nazi Your mother a Jewess. What a Fucked Up Combo
> you turned out to be. You Ignorant Cowardly Mongrel Fox. Any half
> decent Paddy would soon kick you to fucking death. As will happen,
> Felber, if I ever get my hands on you Fucking Keyboard Killer Boy. If
> we ever identify you we'll put your address up on the Web. Then cower,
> Asshole Merchant Boy Cos Paddy will bne comin to getcha.
>
> That's a Sacred Promise. And I will fuckin Murder you. All who are
> with you And burn your fuckin house down around you. You're not dealin
> with Micko now :-) Anybody who knows where Felber is, please email me.
> The Cunt won't live to see Xmas. That's a Sacred Vow.
Again an attempt at Evil Manipulation of the Internet, as in the Geis,
now forwarded to ALL ISPs including the biggest on Earth, on behalf of
Michael McGrath, Victim of Savage Evil Internet Incitemment,
threatening, Blachkmail and Bullying, and Total Lies, Defamation and
Slanderous allegationms concerning his mebtal health, sexual
orientation, sexuality, even allegations that he murdered the
Disappeared imncluding Jo Jo Dollard, all with the Garda too and all
relevant authorities via the agency of Mairtin O'Druachain, Quantity
Survetor, Lavistown, Dunbell, County Kilkenny.
I have pertsonally too, delivered BOXLOADS of all this material by car
to all the said authorities, hard discs, printouts, you name it.
And I am gladf to do it to save the reputation of a Good and Innocent
Man, Victim of Evil Bastards and Criminal Partners Messrs Dwyer and
Connors.
For this is only starting.
The Lads will have a chat about it with you quietly at Newgrange
tomorrow, just to sort it out peaceful-like, when you are allowed in
when everybody decent, Garda included, are gone.
Sounds good to me,
Mairtin O'Druachain.
ardad...@gmail.com
This Nazi thug will not desist from harassment.
Mairtin O'Druachain
> More threats!
>
> This Nazi thug will not desist from harassment.
Sez The Supreme Master of Harrassment, the COWARD , the Defrocked
Doctor James Dwyer, The Sex Attack Monster. Doctor Death !!!
Mairtin.
ardad...@gmail.com
easy!
Denounces Former Associates
From: "Michael McGrath" <Drui...@cablenet.ie>
To: "Gina McGarry" <ginam...@hotmail.com>
Cc: "Michael McGrath" <Drui...@cablenet.ie>
Sent: Saturday, June 23, 2007 10:57 AM
Subject: Fw: Retirement Today ? Hopefully not.
THIS FELLA LLOYD HAS NOW ACTED DIRECTLY AGAINST THE ARCHDRUID OF
IRELAND. HE WILL THEREFORE BE DENOUNCED AS AN IMPOSTER AND CHURCH
WARDEN AT OUR PARADE TODAY IN KILKENNY. BY ME.
The Archdruid of Stonehenge, in command of 24,000 ,Rollo Maughfling,
will also be moved to denounce Lloyd at the very next CoBDO Meeting.
All ODI Druids, All the Gathering, will now defend our Archdruid
against the traitorous and treacherous Brit Lloyd, who waited like a
hawk until our Archdruid of Ireland fell ill to attack him His "Order"
will be banned, His Hawk Grove too, officially in Ireland. And all
this will be circulated over the Internet by Archdruid Dr. Dwyer of
Connaught, Con Connor will be fully informed about Lloyd's antecedents
as a Church Warden - and his failed attempt to hang himself from a
tree in Glastonbury - pity he failed !.
Every hand in Ireland will now be raised against this Sleeveen Melvyn
Lloyd !
BY ORDER
Druid Commander Martin Gorey,
Archdruid's Life Guard.
From: "Michael McGrath" <Drui...@cablenet.ie>
To: "Gina McGarry" <ginam...@hotmail.com>
Cc: "Michael McGrath" <Drui...@cablenet.ie>
Sent: Saturday, June 23, 2007 10:42 AM
Subject: Retirement Today ? Hopefully not.
To: Gina McGarry
Dear Ms. McGarry,
Michael is resting peacefully in bed, just awoke, I brought him a
cuppa.
He had the doctor in last night, a slight turn, so he wasn't in
attendance at our Council Meeting in the Club House. He signed all our
decisions without demur like a good democrat.
The Good News is that we decided to make peace with Dr. Dwyer and he
is returned to the Fold at our Council decision. Harry has great time
too for Dr. Dwyer. I am personally happy about that as I could never
quite believe that he was that bad, and I always remained his friend.
Archdruid Martin Gorey, a right hard man who Michael promoted during
the "Emergency" yesterday, and I are to take all the decisions, and
maintain all communications while Michael is recuperating. His Mother
and his sister Betty called here in concern too, also his sister Mary,
a multi-millionairess, who told him not to worry, that she will
finance anything he wants in the ODI for him, great news for all of
us, and his other family members called too, all of them eminently
successful, I know them all down through the years, Nice people, one
of Kilkenny's leading families. They will not thank anybody who adds
to Michael's distress in his present illness !
I have moved back in to look after him here. He was delighted with the
news from Melvyn Lloyd of the 24,000 at Stonehenge - and especially
the photo including his friends Rollo and Arthur.
He has a liver-based problem which is the reason why he does not drink
anymore, or at least rarely, on occasion.
He did tell me that he expects you to "do the right thing" over the
weekend if you still have no intention of carrying out the functions
of Archdruid of Tara. He says that the odd report would help -
certainly it would put the rest of us in the picture too. Indeed that
was the feeling of the meeting, that we were all being excluded at the
behest of this English fella Lloyd to you. He's fast at taking people
up wrong, he took me up wrong yesterday too, paranoia. .
And may I take this opportunity of sympathising with you on the recent
passing of your Mother.
Michael also states that he hopes your eye will recover rapidly.
I was here, looking after Michael, early this morning, when, an
incredible accusation came over from this Melvyn Lloyd, who,
seemingly, is running a Brit Druid Order in Ireland ? Rollo warned us
about this fella Lloyd. This fella also accused Michael of being a
mysogynist, he must be daft :-)
Michael has just remarked that he STILL has no account of Tara from
you. He wants you to know too that this Muireann character is his
enemy, for several months now, that she will take over you and your
lady Druids, indeed your entire operation, and that is his greatest
concern. He especially worries for Annette for whom he has
always had great time, she like him, being of the older Druidic stock
in Ireland.
We shall look after this Lloyd fella - he can be sure of that. Michael
says that Vincent O'Brien was a fine Druid and is a great fella and
that it is unsurprising that Vincent had to leave Lloyd's company.
Gabriel Murray is right - this Lloyd is still, mentally, a Church
Warden, wanting to be a Rector.
Michael hopes he does not have to send that signal today, concerning
your deliberate non-communication with fellow Druids, to Archscribe
Gabriel Murray, ODI Master of Discipline. Gabriel will not wear
anybody who is bothersome for a second ! As an architect, published
author, filmmaker - and a ladies man par excellence, he does not have
to. Gabriel told me personally that he has good time for you, and
hopes, like us all here, that you will make a decision that will help
your fellow Druids to maintain confidence in you, and that you will
keep
everybody au fait with all that is going on, esp at Tara, and that
everybody can work together as a team, which was the Spirit of your
appointment.
This Llloyd Fella blames me - it was I who staved off a vote of No
Confidence in you at the meeting last night, as I said it would be
premature, that was, happily accepted.
Michael has told me to add a final warning: Beware of O'Bhrolchain !
He sends his greatest respect to Annette, Anne Marie, Carmel and all
the great Dragon Women of Tara. Now I have to see the Secretary of the
Pipe Band for arrangements for our parade at 2.00 p.m.
Michael adds, from his bed - "At least I am not a Womaniser like that
Old Man Lloyd going around sniffing at young ladies' skirts ! Should
have more sense for his Age! "
Never lost it, our Michael .
Yours Sincerely
Martin.
Martin Drohan
Archdruid's Secretary
Master Druid, ODI,
Chief MCG, ODI.
cons...@gmail.com
McGrath has admitted above that he is MAD. But is there a cure??? Such
a simple single word as an admission of his mental challenge - but
will the sick fool now get stronger meds??? McGrath, you have made all
these choices - are you really mad or is that just a way to get
sympathy, a sick pension and a hovel in Kicham St / Demonick St ???
Never even think about the new house in your back garden cause your
victims in the housing dept have lost your file... guess who has it
now asshole???
All of ARD knows you are insane, vicious and without Love.
Go to your bishop and confess your chosen evil ways, flagellate daily
but take the corset off first... Maybe someone can ask BettieD to wash
it for you...
McGrath fake druid neo nazi catholic fascist bully liar and total
gobshite...
Chief Thracian
this thought.
802. The apostles were either deceived or deceivers. Either supposition has
difficulties; for it is not possible to mistake a man raised from the
dead...
While Jesus Christ was with them, He could sustain them. But, after that, if
He did not appear to them, who inspired them to act?
SECTION XIII: THE MIRACLES
803. The beginning.--Miracles enable us to judge of doctrine, and doctrine
enables us to judge of miracles.
There are false miracles and true. There must be a distinction, in order to
know them; otherwise they would be useless. Now they are not useless; on the
contrary, they are fundamental. Now the rule which is given to us must be
such that it does not destroy the proof which the true miracles give of the
truth, which is the chief end of the miracles.
Moses has given two rules: that the prediction does not come to pass (Deut.
18.), and that they do not lead to idolatry (Deut. 13.); and Jesus Christ
one.
If doctrine regulates miracles, miracles are useless for doctrine.
If miracles regulate...
Objection to the rule.--The distinction of the times. One rule during the
time of Moses, another at present.
804. Miracle.--It is an effect, which exceeds the natural power of the means
which are employed for it; and what is not a miracle is an effect, which
does not exceed the natural power of the means which are employed for it.
Thus, those who heal by invocation of the devil do not work a miracle; for
that does not exceed the natural power of the devil. But...
805. The two fundamentals; one inward, the other outward; grace and
miracles; both supernatural.
806. Miracles and truth are necessary, because it is necessary to convince
the entire man, in body and soul.
807. In all times, either men have spoken of the true God, or the true God
has spoken to men.
808. Jesus Christ has verified that He was the Messiah, never in verifying
His doctrine by Scripture and the prophe
Mairtin O'Druachain
for him to occupy his soul with the thought of how to adjust his steps to
the cadence of an air, or of how to throw a ball skilfully, instead of
leaving it to enjoy quietly the contemplation of the majestic glory which
encompasses him? Let us make the trial; let us leave a king all alone to
reflect on himself quite at leisure, without any gratification of the
senses, without any care in his mind, without society; and we will see that
a king without diversion is a man full of wretchedness. So this is carefully
avoided, and near the persons of kings there never fail to be a great number
of people who see to it that amusement follows business, and who watch all
the time of their leisure to supply them with delights and games, so that
there is no blank in it. In fact, kings are surrounded with persons who are
wonderfully attentive in taking care that the king be not alone and in a
state to think of himself, knowing well that he will be miserable, king
though he be, if he meditate on self.
In all t
cons...@gmail.com
to amuse; he is the only writer of his time; the beauty of the work has made
it last, every one learns it and talks of it, it is necessary to know it,
and each one knows it by heart. Four hundred years afterwards the witnesses
of these facts are no longer alive, no one knows of his own knowledge if it
be a fable or a history; one has only learnt it from his ancestors, and this
can pass for truth.
Every history which is not contemporaneous, as the books of the Sibyls and
Trismegistus, and so many others which have been believed by the world, are
false, and found to be false in the course of time. It is not so with
contemporaneous writers.
There is a great difference between a book which an individual writes and
publishes to a nation, and a book which itself creates a nation. We cannot
doubt that the book is as old as the people.
629. Josephus hides the shame of his nation.
Moses does not hide his own shame.
Quis mihi det ut omnes prophetent?112
He was weary of the multitude.
630. The sincerity of the Jews.--Maccabees, after they had no more prophets;
the Masorah, since Jesus Christ.
This book will be a testimony for you.
Defective and final letters.
Sincere against their honour, and dying for it; this has no example in the
world, and no root in nature.
631. Sincerity of the Jews.--They preserve lovingly and carefully the book
in which Moses declares that they have been all their life ungrateful to
God, and that he knows they will be still more so after his death; but that
he calls heaven and earth to witness against them and that he has taught
them enough.
He declares that God, being angry with them, shall at last scatter them
among all the nations of the earth; that as they have offended Him by
worshipping gods who were not their God, so He will provoke them by calling
a people who are not His people; that He desires that all Hi