Here's another of the lowest form on the Humour Scale. (ducks the tomatoes and
eggs, but bravely begins anyway)
An evil space warlord named Xenu
Had too many thetans to see to.
He turned them to ice,
Showed them flicks that weren't nice,
Then said, "Go implant Wogs who can't see you."
A loony who called himself Ron
Figured out he had space cooties on
His hands and his feet,
Not to mention his seat
And his wang when he went to the john.
The space cooties drove Ron insane.
They made him do things quite profane.
He wanted them out
So he said with a shout,
"I'll go clear and then none will remain!"
So this loony grabbed onto two soup cans
Hooked them up and then saw that his hands
Made that darn needle drop
And then made it hop
To the spot where a clear always lands.
Now Ronboy was freed from his cooties
But felt need to go search out his "rooties".
And when he went back
He found Teegeeack
Was covered with space cooties' dooties.
Then smugly Ron said that his call
Was to clear the whole planet from all
Of the shit that was there
And the psychs who would dare
To ignore him with such supreme gall.
So Ronboy sat down at his table
And planned out how he could enable
Himself to get rich,
Throw the psychs in a pitch
Of frenzy because of his fable.
The fable was really a scam,
But Ronboy proclaimed that "I am
The only one here
Who sees it so clear
That mankind evolved from the clam."
His postulate was "Psychs are dirt,
Their drugs and their icepicks will hurt."
What really he meant
Was they'd put a dent
In his income and he'd lose his shirt.
So Ron put together this con
Whose aim was to glorify Ron.
Put their heads up on pikes!
$cientology must carry on!"
Well, you know the rest of the story,
How Ronboy just basked in his glory.
Then the Poodle grew up,
Though the size of a pup
He took over and things became gory.
Now, the Poodleboy screwed up his plan
For he isn't a very smart man.
The words on the net
Of the DC-8 jet
Made all of his shit hit the fan.
So now Ronboy's story is ending
And so is the Poodleboy's spending.
The ill-gotten cash
Caused tremendous backlash
And harrassment that seems neverending.
Atrocities, lawsuits galore
Have such a public uproar
That the scam is exposed
And now it's supposed
That the cult's on its way out the door!
CiCi who always did want to be a poet