DECLARATION OF ANNE ROSENBLUM
[Dennis Erlich: I knew Annie. I went into the RPF'S RPF shortly after
she left Florida. She was a very warm and friendly young lady. The
following is excerpted word-for-word from her declaration regarding her
experiences in scientology. I can tell you that her account of the
inhuman treatment occurring in the RPF is accurate, albeit minimized. It
is still the best description of the RPF I have seen.
Please excuse her sometimes wandering tenses and persons. I sure she
felt she was still recovering when she wrote this. - DE]
REHABILITATION PROJECT FORCE
The RPF was created by LRH in 1974 for people who were in ethics trouble
and not getting handled, as well as for R/S-er's [the criminally
insane]. The RPF rules and regulations are all covered in the "Flag
Order 3434" series. The basic issue which gives the outline of the RPF
is Flag Order 3434. There are numerous other issues as more rules and
regulations were made. These issues are all in a series (i. e. F.O.
3434-1; F.O. 3434-2, etc.). I believe they were up to around F.O.
3434-30 by the time I left.
The idea of the RPF is to "rehabilitate" people who are out- ethics [not
behaving], SP's [Suppressive Persons] and/or psychotic. The RPF is a
totally "self-sustaining" unit. In other words, it handles all of its
own tech, ethics, etc. The senior person is called the RPF Bosun.
Directly under him is the RPF MAA. Under him are the section leaders,
and then the section members. There are 5-8 people in each section, and
each one is numbered "Section A", "Section B", etc. Each section is
assigned different "cleaning stations" and projects to do. The only
exception to that is the "Tech Section," which doesn't work on projects
because they have to handle the co- auditing in the RPF.
The RPF operates on "two watches." While one watch is on study, the
other watch is on work. When I was first sent to the RPF, the Clearwater
Bank building (Scientology owned) had just burned down, and my section
was assigned to "salvage the SO-1 files" (SO-1 files are all the letters
people write to LRH). [SO-1 stood for Standing Order #1 wherein Hubbard
ordered all letters addressed to him would be answered by him. They were
not, in reality. They were answered by the SO-1 Unit who were all given
training in duplicating Hubbard's signature exactly.]
I was up at about 5:45 A. M. and we mustered in the Fort Harrison
garage. We took roll call, and then went to do "Cleaning stations"
(cleaning the bathrooms and hallways of the F. H.). Then we had
breakfast, then roll call again, then went to study for 5 hours. After
that we went to work on handling the SO-1 files. We did that until about
10:30 or 11:00 P. M. Then we had another muster and then went to bed.
Then there was a bed-check of everyone.
The rules of the RPF are:
1. No walking. You had to run all the time.
2. You were not allowed to speak to anyone outside the RPF.
3. You were not allowed to originate any communication, written or
otherwise, to anyone outside the RPF, unless there was an emergency
situation, or unless you cleared it with your RPF's seniors first.
4. You were not allowed to go anywhere by yourself, unless authorized to
do so. Even when going to the bathroom, someone had to go with you. You
would also get in trouble if you saw anyone start to go off by
themselves and didn't go with them, then report it.
5. You had to call all RPF seniors "Sir." If there was some reason you
had to talk to someone outside the RPF (and got permission for it), you
had to call them "Sir" when speaking with them.
6. All letters you wrote had to be put in a stamped, unsealed envelope,
then dropped in a box in RPF room. The RPF MAA then read all out-going
mail. You are not allowed to send anything directly out of the RPF,
including and especially, personal letters.
7. You are allowed only in "RPF designated areas," which, for me, was
the Fort Harrison garage (it is a spiral 4 story garage), and the RPF
course room, right off the second floor garage. You were not allowed to
go anywhere else, the only exception being during morning cleaning
stations when you cleaned the rest of the Fort Harrison.
8. Had to wear dark blue boiler-suits or dark blue shirts and pants.
9. Were not allowed "luxuries" (their word for it) such as music, seeing
T. V., (at one point half dozen people were sent to the RPF's RPF for
having seen some T. V. in a room they were in when they were sick)
playing cards, perfume, etc.--anything like that.
10. There is an F.O. 3434 series called "Rocks and Shoals." There are
penalties one gets for anything they do wrong such as non compliance to
an order, not calling a senior "Sir," walking instead of running,
missing a spot on a mirror you were cleaning, etc. The penalties consist
of doing so many laps, sit-ups or push-ups. The laps are running up and
down the garage ramp.
When I first arrived in the RPF, I went to the RPF MAA (Master- at-Arms,
in charge of "ethics") and was given forms to sign. I don't remember
what I signed. I don't remember reading them. I only vaguely recall one
of them which was something about how I entered the RPF voluntarily to
be able to get redemption, and that I'm being treated well, being taken
care of, etc. I don't remember at all what else I signed. For one thing,
I was still in a state of shock and confusion at being in the RPF. They
were forms to go to the G. O. [Guardians Office] - I do remember that
much.
The next step in "routing into the RPF" is to work out with the RPF MAA
what your condition is on the 1st dynamic (yourself). The RPF in itself
is your "liability" on the 3rd dynamic. The 3rd dynamic is the group
dynamic, that is, your relationship to others. That's why the RPF is
sort of an amends project. When you complete the RPF program, you have
to get every staff member in the Flag Land Base to sign your liability
formula [Written steps which show you have atoned and done amends for
your evil deeds against scientology and are ready to resume useful
participation in the group.], and then you're considered out of the RPF.
The condition of the 3rd dynamic, acceptance of the group, is thereby
fulfilled.
To complete the RPF, one has to co-audit the RPF program during the 5
hour daily study time they are allowed. The auditing program at the time
I was there consisted of:
1. Classified Confessional [Security Check, a list of questions you must
answer about your evil deeds]
2. Expanded Drug Rundown including a full battery of objectives
3. Word Clearing Method I
4. Any other Expanded Dianetics
5. Expanded Dianetics including full R/S handling
6. Conditions and Exchange by Dynamics [various other brainwashing
procedures employed by scientology].
Everyone in the RPF has a "twin" whom they co-audit with. Each person
not only has to complete the RPF auditing program themselves, but they
must audit someone else fully through it. So "twins" audit each other.
The actions are learned (how to audit) by what is called the "Read
it-Drill it-Do it" (RDD) basis. You read the necessary HCOB's [Hubbard
Bulletin] on how to audit the action, then drill it and get a check out
on it by the RPF Tech Supervisor, then go audit it. The auditing is set
up like the old Saint Hill style - everyone audits in the same room,
lined up, or on separate tables all over the place. At first it was hard
to get used to doing that, but after a while it stops bothering you, and
then you really don't care if everyone hears all the crazy things you
say in session because you know everyone else around you is just as
crazy as you. This is the general thought of people there.
After you're in the RPF awhile, you just learn to "accept the fact that
you're crazy and that's why you're in the RPF".
Frequently PC's [people undergoing auditing] would go nuts in their
auditing, and start hollering and yelling and crying and carrying on. So
the Tech Supervisor would just move the co-audit outside and they'd
continue auditing in the garage.
We received $4.00 a week here. If we needed to buy soap or cigarettes or
something like that, we'd give a list of what we needed and the money to
this guy who would go to the store once a week for the RPFers to get the
things we needed. We were not allowed to go ourselves. We weren't
allowed to step foot outside the building!
I was actually only "on the decks," working on projects for a few
months. I then became the Tech In Charge of a watch. After a few months
of that I began having trouble sleeping, and my auditing was becoming
weird. My mind was starting to fall apart. I was used to late night
work, from being a Messenger, so I requested to become an RPF C/S (Case
Supervisor): I'd read over all the sessions each night and "grade" the
auditor and tell him what things to run the PC on the next day. The
C/Ses had to work at night so the PC folders would be ready the next day
for auditing. This was approved, and I became a C/S, which I continues
until I left the RPF.
When I was first in the RPF, we ate on a table set up in the garage. But
as winter came around, it was a bit cold, and it was also "bad PR"
[Public Relations] for the FCCI's [persons undergoing auditing at Flag]
who saw us. FCCI means Flag Completed Case Intensive. They are public
scientologists who were paying for services at Flag. The FCCI's would
always walk past us on their way to and from their cars. So we were
moved into the "lower" staff dining room and ate there after the staff
finished eating.
Our sleeping arrangements were bad. The guys slept in what was used as
the RPF course room during the day. It was an old storage room, with no
windows. They would throw their mattresses on the floor at night, and
the room was filled with wall-to-wall mattresses.
When I was originally in the RPF the girls slept in a hallway near an
elevator shaft, leading to the garage. The mattresses covered the floors
there also. We were later moved to an old locker room in the Fort
Harrison, with no windows. They let us turn the vents on during the
night to keep from suffocating but the door was closed to prevent
someone from blowing [leaving]. An RPF MAA or someone "high up" in the
RPF, would sleep near the door, and of course bed checks were done
nightly. There were also F. H. [Fort Harrison Hotel] Security Guards
constantly policing the F. H. plus an "RPF Guard" in the garage at
night.
In December, 1978, we were moved to a storage area in the garage. It was
a partly wooden, partly cement, enclosure built against one of the
garage walls. It was build to be a storage area, but as the RPF grew so
large, it was made the RPF girl's sleeping area. Wooden bunks were
built, that were about 1/2 to 1/3 the size of a regular twin bed. The
bunks were built 3 and 4 stacks high, and were put in there
side-by-side. Our "mattresses" were pieces of foam cut to fit the bunks.
It was like crawling into a hole to get into bed. You couldn't even sit
up because of the bunk above you, and it was difficult to try to turn
over because they weren't wide enough. The worst problem was that being
in the garage, we inhaled all the car fumes when cars would go through,
in addition to the noise of cars that FCCI's and staff would make
driving in and out.
We had routine visits from Fire and Health Officials in Clearwater.
Somehow, the G. O. seemed to know in advance when they were coming, and
were warned. When they arrived, we stacked mattresses, boxes and all
sorts of junk in our sleeping space, to make it look like a storage
area. The officials apparently never suspected that people were actually
living there. If an official surprised us, the G. O. would take him
around other F. H. areas while we received the message to make it look
like a storage area. The staff lodging in the Fort Harrison was pretty
bad also. Many staff and students had 6- 8 beds in a small room. When
officials came around, those rooms were locked or signs put on them
"Confessionals in Progress" so no one would go in, and the G. O. would
randomly show them other rooms with only 2 or 3 beds.
I find it very difficult to describe what happened to me mentally and
emotionally in the RPF. I spent the first few weeks getting one security
check after another. The first was a security check on anything I had
done or told anyone while I was "blown" and any overts while I was at
WHQ [Western Headquarters, La Quinta, CA?]. After that, I received a
visit from the G. O. and was accused of taking money from the WHQ. I was
security checked on that. Then I received a special security check
written by the CMO on everything I had been involved with or knew as a
Messenger.
After all that was finally over, I was given a "twin" and started on my
RPF auditing program. At this point, I realized I was a List 1 R/Ser
[totally psychotic, suppressive person] because the person I was
'twinned' with was a List 1 R/Ser. According to RPF rules, only List 1
R/Sers could twin with List 1 R/Sers. This order is one of the F.O. 3434
series. Obviously I had R/Sed on one of the sec checks and was now
considered a threat to LRH. This really shocked me, because I know List
1 R/Sers were SP's and therefore I was Suppressive Person, which
according to their policies meant I was evil and psychotic. It took me
weeks before I could "accept" that I was an "SP." I finally realized and
accepted the fact that I was an SP, psychotic and needed the RPF. It was
my only hope for salvation.
This thing of "psychosis" is very much imposed on you in the RPF. When I
didn't think I could handle the RPF, I talked to the RPF MAA about it
and he had me read policies on R/Sers and psychosis and psychotics. Then
he explained how the RPF is set up in a way to handle psychotics.
Because psychotic people cannot follow orders, or complete cycles of
action (in other words, finish anything they start). You are told that
the RPF rules are there to keep everyone's psychosis under control
long enough to audit and handle them.
At musters people told "success stores," such as: "Today I realized why
I'm in the RPF. I realized that I really am psychotic about many things
and that I really have to handle it. And all I can say is thank you LRH,
for giving me this chance to get handled and redeemed." "Today in my
auditing we handled a psychosis I've had for trillions of years, and we
ran it back to the basic and it just blew. I know I'll never have that
psychosis again." "I just finished handling an ethics cycle with the
MAA and it's probably the best thing that's ever happened to me. I found
that my ethics have been out ever since I got into Scientology, and
because my ethics have been out, the tech wasn't going in on me so I
wasn't getting the gains that I should have been getting. Well, I can
now say that I really am Scientologist, and I know that LRH's tech is
the greatest in the world."
Everyone at musters would cheer and clap. These are just examples of
some of the things people said.
Within the RPF, is the RPF's RPF. This is where people who haven't
realized that they need the RPF, are sent. In Clearwater, they were sent
down to the boiler room under guard, of course, and had to work there
the entire day scrubbing pipes and walls in the boiler room. They are
segregated from all other RPF members. They were given a pen and paper
to write their overts and write lower ethics condition formulas while in
the boiler room. They were allowed 15 minutes to shower before going to
bed at night and allowed an average of 5 hours sleep. They ate after the
RPF ate, and were only allowed enough time to eat. They did this until
they realized how evil and suppressive they are and how much they need
the RPF.
About a dozen people were sent to the RPF's RPF during the time I was
there. One guy was sent there because he tripped down the stairs and
accidentally set off the fire alarm in the Fort Harrison. Usually, the
people there were those who wanted to leave or who had been involved in
some sort of "out - 2D" [Hubbard's Second Dynamic- sex]. "Out - 2D"
consisted of kissing or holding hands with the opposite sex. You were
not allowed any relationships with the opposite sex, unless you were
married.
People who were married saw their spouses during one meal break (30
minutes) a day. The spouse had to join the RPF member when the RPF ate,
because the RPF member could not go to a staff dining area. They were
allowed one night a week together regardless of whether both were in the
RPF or not. Then, if the RPF member stats were up, they could join their
spouse after the nightly muster, but had to report back in the morning.
The "night-out" room was in the day care center, which wasn't used for
anything at night. The couples would throw their mattresses on the floor
there for the night.
The one night out a week was canceled by LRH sometime in June or July of
1978. RPFers were not to have contact with their spouses except once a
day at a meal. This was an F.O 3434 series written by LRH.
If they had children, RPFers were allowed to see them during the meal
time, plus one hour a week, if their stats were up. Auditing in the RPF
almost destroyed me. For one thing, I had trouble going "Backtrack" -
into past lives. After I finally learned "past track remedies" where you
say anything that pops into your brain, like monsters or fighting space
wars, or whatever, my imagination ran wild and I began having two or
three pictures popping up at one time, I wouldn't know which one was
actually a past life or if it was my imagination or if they were all
past lives but at different times, or what. I was "run" on stuff I'd
already been "run" on. I had 3 - 4 drug rundowns, "re-verifications" of
my Method 1, 35 hours Op-proby-dup [A process where you walk back and
forth examining and describing a book and a bottle, hours on end for
weeks.], etc. I was getting upset and the move upset I became, the more
I was subjected to auditing. As my "auditing program" deteriorated, I
became more of a security threat and they then put me on security checks
to go over all my overts and withholds. I finally just shut up,
submitted, and let them audit whatever they wanted on me.
This led me to Expanded Dianetics. This is where you audit out or "run
out" all your "evil purposes", and evil intentions and handle your "Rock
Slams" [a particular reaction on the E-Meter that shows a person is
totally psycho]. Evil purposes that your run out are "to destroy" or "to
kill", etc. I must have run dozens of these evil purposes, then we
turned to my R/S handling. By now it's somewhere around the beginning of
1978, I think. I really have very little sense of time here - for one
thing, one day was just like the next. There was no variation. Weekends
were the same as weekdays. It is all sort of one big lump to me -
especially after I started on my Expanded Dianetics and my brain really
started to come apart. I was in sort of a cloud or a daze most of the
time, that's the only way I can describe it.
My R/S handling I think was the point where my brain wasn't just falling
apart, but it started to get fried. I was running out all these evil
purposes connected to the R/ses, and I started spouting out and running
out the weirdest things like, "to be somebody else", "to blow up a
planet", "commit suicide," "to never grow up," "to kill myself," "to
destroy bodies." The list was endless. My brain was just getting fried
on all of this. I mean I had to have been the most evil and craziest
person that ever existed. I don't know how to describe what happened
other than that my brain was frying right up. I felt like I was in a
daze half of the time. I'd do things, sort of like watching myself doing
them but not realizing I was doing it, as if it was somebody else,
except that I know it was me. I'd scream at my auditor, I'd throw down
the cans to the E-Meter that I was holding, I'd refuse to get auditing.
I just created a real scene. So of course, I ended up in ethics, and had
a "body guard" put on me.
This whole thing was a period of weeks, I think. But actually, in the
state I was in, it could have been 2 days or it could have been 2
months. Somewhere around here I got sick and was "off post." I was in
"sick bay." I was sick for a few days, running a high fever. One
morning, the RPF member who handles the sick RPF people, woke me up very
early to take my temperature. I told her it was too early, and turned
over and went back to sleep. She called another RPF member and they made
me stick the thermometer in my mouth. I did, and went over to the
bathroom, because I had just gotten up. My temperature was still high.
They left, and the next thing I knew, the RPF MAA was in there. He
ordered me out of bed and onto the decks. I was angry, upset and running
a fever. I was ordered onto the decks because the RPF MAA received a
report that I went to the bathroom with the thermometer and had put it
under hot water to raise the temperature.
It's an LRH order that sick people are supposed to be "isolated" from
others. When the Flag "Medical Officer" found out I had been pulled out
of isolation, she came over and took my temperature. It was high, so she
sent me back to Sick Bay.
When I finally left "Sick Bay", it was in the evening. I walked into the
RPF course room and there was an order on the bulletin board throwing me
off post and back "on the decks". I couldn't handle that in the state I
was in. My auditing was crazy, and the only other thing I had in my life
was my C/S post.
I looked at the order, turned around, and went to a phone in a hallway
(inter-building phone) and called the Registrar in the F. H., giving him
a false name. I convinced him to give me the phone number of another
Scientologist in Clearwater. She was the only person I know who wasn't
an S. O member and I believed that she would not turn me in. Then I
walked out of the garage, jumped over the wall, and just kept walking.
No one noticed me, I don't think anyone knew I had left Sick Bay, so I
was not guarded at the time.
I walked like a zombie for about 15 minutes, at least I think it was
about 15 minutes. There was nothing going through my mind. It was
completely blank - like a zombie. It was like my mind was off in space
somewhere. I noticed nothing around me; I don't know where I walked.
Anyway, after about 15 minutes, I began to realize that I had just
jumped over the wall. I was in serious trouble. I was petrified and
wanted to return but if I did, I would be under guard again and placed
in the RPF's RPF. I would also again be placed on their Bad Indicators
(B. I.) list, which consisted of people who were under guard at all
times. I was on the B. I. list when I was taken off the C/S post, except
no one know I left the sick room, so they hadn't assigned a guard to me
yet.
I'm not sure where I was, somewhere on Fort Harrison Avenue, I think. I
sat down on a stairway to figure out what to do. Then I remembered I had
made that phone call to get my friend's number, so I walked to a 7-11
and called her. I received directions to her house. It was approximately
4-5 miles. I walked it, and when I got there, there were 4-5 guys
waiting for me. I'm not sure if my friend called them of if someone
heard me asking for my friend's phone number. I completely broke down
when I saw them, crying and carrying on. I told them I wanted to talk to
my friend alone. I was pretty incoherent talking to my friend. I wasn't
making too much sense by this point, and the tears were just flowing. I
kept crying about how I couldn't handle the RPF anymore. That it was not
them, but it was me; I said that I needed Expanded Dianetics and I had
to get myself handled because I was psychotic, but I couldn't get it
handled while in the RPF, because I was too "restimulated;" and
therefore, I would never get out of the RPF. I was just rambling.
Meanwhile, my friend was convincing me to return to the RPF. She said I
would be a fool not to go back because I'd have such a "freeloader bill"
that I could never pay it back. She told me of a friend of ours (mutual
friend) who had left Scientology, and then was killed in a motorcycle
accident. If I left I'd probably pull in a "motivator" like that
(Scientology believes if you do something bad, then something bad will
happen back to you called a motivator). Finally, I agreed to go back,
and "route out" of the "Sea Org."
So I was "escorted" back by the guys, and put under immediate guard. I
think by now it's about the beginning of August. The next few weeks
until I actually left are pretty hazy to me - sort of like one mass of
confusion. I know I got a "Court of Ethics" and a "Committee of
Evidence" and a "Fitness Board." All of these were ethics actions
showing how bad I was for wanting to leave. If I began to "doubt"
Scientology the MAA would tell me that I wasn't doing the formulas right
and to go back and do them again. I was slowly becoming crazy.
Meanwhile I was under guard, and I refused to work most of the time. I
was a real "basket case." I finally reached the point where they would
just let me sit and do nothing, or work on my condition formulas all day
long with someone watching me. Sometimes they would have two people
watching me. One of the MAA's tried to throw me in the RPF's RPF, but I
screamed and yelled that I would "bite" him if he touched me. So they
just let me sit, except for hassling me during the day about being a
"freeloader." They would say: "Don't you think you should do a little
work, at least to pay for the food you're eating?" I usually replied
with a "no." Sometimes I agreed to work. I think they were at a point
where they just didn't know what to do with me anymore.
I finally announced that if I didn't leave I would become insane. The
CMO then announced that LRH had approved an "amnesty for RPF members."
When I came in, there were about 40 RPFers. There were around 130-150
when I left because people were not getting out. This amnesty was that
any RPFer who wanted to, could leave the RPF. They would not have a
freeloader debt which generally amounted to $30,000 - $40,000. They
would be a Scientologist in good standing, but they could never work on
staff anywhere until they completed their RPF auditing program at their
own expense.
This meant that I could get out of the RPF and not have a freeloader
debt. This very much concerned me because I knew I could never pay the
debt off and Scientology was rabid about making money and having you pay
your debts to them. But I also had no money of my own to complete the
RPF auditing program because I had worked for them for virtually nothing
for six years, 7 days a week. I was caught in a terrible situation. I
was brainwashed into believing that I needed RPF auditing but had no
money to pay for it; and if I didn't get it, I could not continue in
Scientology.
I accepted the amnesty, along with 7 or 8 people. We all then received
security checks concerning whether we were taking any Scientology data
with us, what our intentions were when we left, etc. Then our luggage
and stuff was all checked and searched to make sure we didn't have any
internal documents, etc. They went through all our pc folders [files
containing everything you confessed in auditing] and made a list of
anything that could ever be used against us, such as crimes of this
lifetime, including stealing, selling drugs, prostitution, etc. -
anything considered illegal in the eyes of the law or immoral in our
society. These lists were then drawn up as affidavits, and we had to
sign them. Then we were all taken over to the G. O.'s office and signed
other forms. I don't know what I signed. I don't even remember reading
what I signed. I was just handed a pen and told to sign.
On September 2, 1978 I boarded an airplane to Colorado with pre- paid
tickets from my parents.
If I could sum the RPF up in just one sentence, it would probably be,
"It is a process by which they make you believe that you are psychotic,
and then you actually do become psychotic."
AFTER LEAVING
After I arrived in Colorado, I spent the first day glued to a chair
listening to the radio. I didn't move from that chair until 2 a. m. I
wanted nothing more in this world than to hear music.
Although I now live in a great deal of fear and terror because of what
Scientology did to me, the constant control and deprivation imposed on
me has left me with an appreciation for the simple things in life.
Things like being able to get in a car and go for a ride, being able to
be alone, being able to walk outside, feeling the sun on you, and all by
your own choice without anyone telling you that you have to do it or
that you can't. I don't think I ever really understood what it means to
be free and have freedom, until it was taken from me.
Shortly after I returned home, Jonestown occurred, and that did it for
me. I realized that if at any point LRH had handed me a glass of poison
and told me to drink it, I would have, with no questions asked and no
second thoughts. At that point, I think I got "shocked" out of
Scientology.
I later wrote to some Scientology friends with whom I was still in
contact. I told them I was no longer a Scientologist. I never heard from
them, but instead received an Ethics Order declaring me a Suppressive
Person and expelling me from the "Church."
Emotionally and mentally, I went through quite a trauma adjusting to the
outside world. I experienced a culture shock. My parents helped me. They
left me alone the first few months and I slept and rested most of the
time. Occasionally, my parents took me for drives in the mountains. My
mother was very understanding and she never made me talk about my
experiences. But if I wanted to talk, she was there. They didn't make me
feel like a fool for what I had done, though I certainly felt like one.
I started to come out of the "daze" I was in, within 2 months, with a
lot of "TLC."
I was 23 years old, and I didn't know anything about opening a personal
checking account, taxes, investments, buying a car, shopping, social
security (that was a word I heard that had something to do with
retirement). Watergate was something that I remembered hearing about,
but I only had a vague impression that the President was impeached or
resigned because of something he did to the Democratic party.
I also experienced something that I believe most ex-cult members go
through - a sort of "void" where everything you believe in all of a
sudden vanished, and it leaves you with nothing to hold on to. It is a
very strange feeling. I went through a long period where I simply didn't
believe anything, T. V., books, newspapers, etc. I didn't believe
because if I had been so wrong before, how could I trust myself again to
believe anything was right?
I eventually researched and studied mind control and the effect of it. I
began to understand what had happened to me.
Around January of February, 1979, I decided to do something about
Scientology. I heard Senator Dole was doing an investigation on cults. I
wrote him a letter about Scientology, LRH and the RPF. I didn't sign my
name, but I suppose it is possible to ascertain who I was by what I
wrote. Anyway, shortly afterwards I began to receive threatening phone
calls. In one call the caller said: "You like your parents don't you?"
Then he laughed and hung up.
The next incident that happened is very vague and uncertain to me.
Following one of these threatening phone calls, I went to a
restaurant/lounge where my brother and friends usually meet, across from
my brother's home. I remember ordering a "Tequila Sunrise" while waiting
for my brother. I spoke to a man I didn't know who approached me and
started a conversation. He left after about ten minutes. I left shortly
after that feeling a little strange, the next thing I remember is waking
up in a psychiatric ward. My front teeth were knocked out. Apparently, I
lost my balance and fell on my face. The doctor told me that the
laboratory found amphetamines, thorazine and other drugs in my blood.
I do not take drugs, nor do I have access to them. Aspirin is about the
strongest medication I take. I had no knowledge or memory of having
taken these drugs. I have little memory of the lapse of time between
being in the lounge and ending up in the psychiatric ward. I am trying
to piece the days together prior to my hospitalization.
I don't know what happened to me. I received a call at work about a week
after being discharged from the hospital. The caller said: "Next time
you won't be so lucky."
I consulted a therapist at the Mental Health Association after I was
discharged from the hospital. Initially, I was terrified and frightened.
Then I felt the most intense hatred and anger I had ever experienced
directed primarily toward myself and to Scientology. I turned inward,
and came very close to putting a hole in my head.
I'm over that now and the anger has left me. I do get upset when I think
or talk about the RPF or what happened to me in the hospital. I shake
and I get the chills, and I suffer from insomnia. There are times when I
"flash back" to the "daze" that I had. It only lasts about 3 or 4
seconds. It occurs when I'm in an uncomfortable position, such as being
near someone I don't know. Someone will say something to me, and I hear
them. What was said to me registers, but my mind goes blank in response.
It can be something as simple as someone asking me what time it is, or
asking me if I like the food I just ate. It takes me a few seconds to
answer. It doesn't happen too often, but when it does, it scares me, and
leaves me shaken for a few hours.
I moved to California in June, 1979, to start a new life.
Shortly after I moved, my parents received calls from people who
identified themselves as "a friend" wanting to know my new address, or
where I was. A few months after I moved, someone called my former place
of employment in Colorado and said they were from Avco Finance "doing an
employment verification on me." Debbie, the girl who received the call
said that I didn't work there anymore. The caller acted surprised,
saying that she had a loan application from me, and asked for my current
address. Debbie gave it to her. Another friend at this place of work
called and told me what had happened. I hadn't applied for any loans. My
mother called all the Avco Finance offices in the Denver area, and no
one had called about me. I notified the people where I worked not to
give anyone information, unless I let them know to expect a call.
Fortunately, I had just moved, so the address the girl gave them was
incorrect. The following week, my former employer received another call.
A different girl in the office answered the phone, and the caller said
that she wanted to speak with the girl that she had spoken to the week
before about my employment verification. So Debbie took the call, and
the caller identified herself as "Janet, from Aetna Finance Company."
She said that she wanted to re-check the address that was given to her.
Debbie wouldn't give her any information. The lady became upset and
harassed her about not giving the address when she had been willing to
disclose it the week before. Debbie told her that I had instructed her
not to give out the information, and "Janet" said something to the
effect of "Oh, then you're in touch with her, and you do know where she
is." The caller said that I had applied for a loan and that this would
affect the application. Debbie finally hung up. The person called right
back and asked to speak with Debbie. "Janet" said she had just talked to
her supervisor and he didn't understand why Debbie wouldn't give her
information on me. Debbie told her not to call again. "Janet" then said,
"Well, thank you, Miss Sheffield," in an angry tone, and hung up. Debbie
had never disclosed her last name.
Shortly after I contacted Attorney Michael Flynn in Boston about the
class action suit brought against Scientology, my supervisor at work
received a call from an unidentified person. The person said that I was
rude, bad for business and would cause the loss of customers. My boss
said, "I don't know what you are talking about. Annie is a great girl.
Happy New Year." She hung up.
I have never been rude on the phone at this job and if it was a
customer, they certainly would have identified themselves because we
know all our clients by name.
I have read about the cases in Washington, D. C., involving burglary,
theft, and bugging by the G. O. and I have been told of various
instances where the G. O. has wiretapped the phones of ex-
Scientologists. If the G. O. knows I have joined the class suit I am
afraid of what to expect from them.
Anne Rosenblum +--------------------------------+ first published in the
inFormer
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~ One drop of drops in the river of life ~
~ Has not the power to float by itself ~
~ But there's this demand on every drop: ~
~ Help keep the other ones up ~
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