I just went CLEAR!!!! WOW !!!!

[lamoo...@yahoo.com]

That's right! I just attested to being CLEAR thanks to L. Ron Hubbard,
David Miscaviage and the entire Church of Scientology!

I no longer have a reactive mind. I no longer get colds. I have
perfect recall of every event I've ever experienced in my life (even
back along the time track for millions of years, I recall
everything!). I can do complex mathematical computations in a fraction
of a second. I can beat grand-master world-wide chess champions with
one hand tied behind my back (and I never even played chess before I
went Clear).

I've been on staff at the local scientology org so I haven't been
permitted to watch tv or log onto the internet or read any books but
my Case Supervisor told me exactly what's been happening in the world.
Here's what I now KNOW! (and trust me "I Know how to Know!")

#1. A Tom Cruise video was leaked onto the internet and the whole
world is in awe of the technology of our founder and source L. Ron
Hubbard. Millions of people all over the world are flocking to
scientology orgs every day! We expect to have 25 million members by
this june.

#2. An autobiography of Tom Cruise was written and it has become a #1
bestseller! People are clamoring to get copies so they can follow in
Toms footsteps and become scientologists just like Tom (and Me).

I am so excited. I feel like, well you know, like, wow man, this is
it. phoot.

On my way to the org this morning I was looking for car accidents just
so I could like, well you know, really help. And guess what? I found
one. So I run up to the scene and push a paramedic aside (he was
getting in the way of true help). "Move aside" I said (with tone 40
intention) I AM A SCIENTOLOGIST! And he moved. This being because I
am now Clear.

I ripped the oxygen mask off of the face of this poor wog and I
touched his face (employing the technology of touch assists). He
moaned and groaned and then quit breathing. Damn paramedics! GET UP I
demanded! GET UP! But he didn't respond. I was too late. Not to worry,
I filed a complaint against the paramedics with the police department.
Paramedics & Psychs, same thing. Trying to deal with the body instead
of dealing with the Thetan.

I just mortgaged my home so I could give the church enough money to
continue up the bridge. Imagine, soon I will be OT 111. Able to
control Matter Energy Space and Time.

Won't you join us?

Much Love,

A Scientologist

[Alert]

*snort

[i...@ambelt.nl]

You had me going there for a sec. Aside from the OT level at the end,
well done!

[Kilia]

That's totally funny! :)

[banchukita]

That was funny - until the end paragraph. That's *exactly* what Stu
Sjourman told me he and his wife were doing - selling their home so
they could both afford to go OT. He told me the home would only serve
them this lifetime, but OT is forever.

I remember the chill that ran up my spine then.

-maggie, human being

[Red Mage Moogle]

ROFLCOPTER

You almost had me fooled. Hell that was funny.

--
RMM, servant of Xenu

zidane_tribal_64(at)hotmail(dot)com
http://www.myspace.com/redmagezidane
aol im: RedMageZidane
talk to me sometime!

Now stand aside, worthy adversary!

[Friendly Xenu]

lamoo...@yahoo.com wrote:

> I found one. So I run up to the scene and push a paramedic aside
> (he was getting in the way of true help). "Move aside" I said (with
> tone 40 intention) I AM A SCIENTOLOGIST! And he moved. This being
> because I am now Clear.

--laugh!-- And not because "I am a Scientologist" results in everyone
in the area stepping back away from the frothingly insane cultist who
might be capable of any act of violent insanity at any moment."

---
"Starbucks: drink the coffee. Don't break the windows." -- C
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,972865,00.html?imw=Y