Clearwater: WOG Gets a Peak at L. Ron's Birthday Party & Cake

[Tigger I]

Friday, March 23, 2007
Letter forwarded from a friend with an account of a visit to Clearwater,
FL:

Just back from Clearwater, FL -- a wealthy suburb of Tampa/St. Pete --
where the Eckerd Theatre Company was workshopping my civil war drummer
boy musical.

Eckerd Hall is a performing arts center designed by Frank Lloyd
Wright.  It was leased over the past weekend by Scientologists --
(Clearwater is their east coast headquarters) -- celebrating the
Birthday of L. Ron Hubbard!  What a thrilling coincidence!  While
we're toiling away in the conference room over scripts and designs, John
Travolta was appearing on the mainstage; there was a humongous party
tent in the parking lot.

Scientologii snipers were posted on the rooftops; Scientologii
bomb-sniffing dogs prowled the halls; Scientologii bodyguards
(ineffectual looking guys in black with earpieces) eyeballed the
entrances and exits.  A very unusual space to be workshopping a new
musical for three days!  On Saturday morning, the festivities had
ended -- and laborers were dismantling the party tent.  Scientologii
laborers had constructed it and you could tell they were scientologists
because they were lean, clean-shaven, close-cropped and dressed like
postal workers.  Normal laborers were tearing it down and you could
tell they weren't Scientologists because they had mullets and beer
bellies.

When the coast was clear, we braved trekking across the astroturf
carpet to ogle the remains of L. Ron Hubbard's birthday cake -- a
triple-tiered affair with yellow frosting and gold roses (ick!) -- it
appeared to be vanilla with lemon filling but we didn't take a taste --
it was going stale in the sun -- and it didn't appear to have been a
huge favorite at the party.  It was pretty well mangled but you could
still read "Happy Birthday Ron" on top of the cake -- and someone had
swiped a finger through a couple of the gold roses.  On the ground
next to the cake was a huge and rather tacky photo portrait of L. Ron
himself -- long since dead now, of course, but apparently frozen in
state somewhere waiting for the Scientologist Judgment Day -- and he was
smiling and standing next to a birthday cake that looked exactly like
the mangled cake on the table.  Like it's somehow the traditional L.
Ron birthday cake on Scientology Christmas.

http://www.mikedaisey.com/2007/03/letter-forwarded-from-friend-with.sht