Susan Simel Affidavit
David Rice, Esq.
SUSAN SIMMEL
167 Pekara Drive
Deerfield, Illinois 60015
August, 1989
I became involved in Scientology in 1978. I was attracted to the
camaraderie, and impressed with the apparent importance and size
of the movement. Like the promotion had stated, I too envisioned a
better world without crime, insanity, or war. I was hopeful in
improving the state of mankind. I was equally excited by the
prospect of becoming a kind of spiritual super-human with
abilities that mere mortals have only dreamed about. I was
promised that Scientology and its technology had all the answers,
and was the only way to achieve total freedom; LRH had mapped the
only route. This was all possible because of the genius of LRH;
the tech was his great sacrifice and gift to man.
I was urged to join staff, and did so, because staff members were
doing a great service and would also get their services for free.
I lasted only 3 months because I could not afford the job. I was
quick to discover that staff members were not getting their "free"
services. Leaving staff was frowned upon by the group.
By this time I had dropped all my former (ordinary) friends,
proceeded to alienate my family, looked at all non-Scientologists
as I was told to--like stupid, unaware, dramatizing
degenerates--and looked at the world through the veil of
Scientology.
My new husband and myself moved to L.A. so that he could become a
professional auditor which was a much-needed and greatly
appreciated job that was looked upon very highly by LRH. An
auditor, it was said, would make a lot of money. I thought I had
married a guy that was going to be incredibly respected in
society, and very well paid in his profession. I worked, and he
studied. I was offered a job by the Guardian's Office as a
receptionist-plant in an office in San Francisco where I would
keep my ears open and relay information back to the "Church". As a
newlywed, I turned the job down.
We lived for the next seven years in my in-law's basement. We did
so because the rapidly rising costs of Scientology services made
it impossible to move out. There was a lot of pressure to not
spend ANY money on anything except Scientology. My husband's
prestigious position as an auditor proved implausible. Any
prospects he had were swiftly swayed to receive services
elsewhere, like at an Org, and the "Church"'s policy of "field
auditing" was changing, making it difficult to work as an auditor.
We eventually gave up on the idea of earning a living this way.
Our daughter was born, and I was pressured to obey LRH's
preference of no breastfeeding of babies. I went so far as to
write him personally and querry his position, but he reiterated
his preference. Our daughter's front baby teeth were destroyed by
LRH's baby formula which required barley water, milk, and corn
syrup.
There was a fast and furious rumor line in the Chicago area around
that period of time. There were cliques, intense competition
between people and their positions in Scientology, and competition
between the Mission and the "Church". Everyone knew everyone
else's business. Amid this atmosphere, I made a grave mistake. In
my desire to "keep Scientology working", I wrote-up a local
opinion leader due to my doubts about his credibility. Trouble
began, people quit talking to me, my husband was forced to leave
his business, and the group tried to convince him that I was
suppressive. I was publicly humiliated by being forced to answer
to their contrived inquisition. My reputation was slow to recover,
and was really never the same. I had never known upset greater
that at that time. I had never been treated so coldly or judged so
harshly. I had entrusted my life, my entire identity to this
"religious" group, yet I was accumulating more grief, loneliness
and despair than compassion and/or spiritual awareness. The
"Church" had repeatedly promised to straighten out this mess. I
would tell of my plight over and over again to any staff that came
into Chicago from any part of the country. This was always
humiliating and uncomfortable. Always they would promise to help
but under the condition that I buy services. I was talked into
flying to the Washington Org out of desperation; they would help
me if I bought $21,000 of services. I considered a second
mortgage. There was heavy pressure to do this, and I received
phone calls from L.A. and Florida well into many nights. When I
finally said No, there was great, harsh criticism and make-wrong.
I was again ostracized from the group.
A very highly positioned staff member threatened me with expulsion
because I was upsetting the Scientology field. He swore at me,
screamed at me, called me names, and I was not allowed to leave
the ORG until I passed an "end rudes check" proving that I had or
had not lied. All of this degradation and humiliation was because
I had reported on a well-paying member. This treatment was
confusing as I was only obeying LRH and his rules. I spent many
sleepless nights, and experienced great upset.
Meanwhile, the prices of SCN had skyrocketed putting the cost of
our services well in excess of $100,000 each; an unattainable
goal. We knew we could never afford this as those prices increased
each month. We complained that the prices were too high, and thus
called into the Org for a "roll-back" which was designed to trace
down rumors. Not being able to afford our freedom basically meant
that we were unable, no good, and would never amount to anything.
This was a devastating realization. I began to think the SCN was
not for the good of mankind as the average person's income was
even less than mine. People could not have spiritual freedom if
they did not have a bottomless checkbook. This all made no sense.
Negative stories were surfacing about Scientology. The "Church"
had reorganized, people were thrown out, and the prices were
ridiculous. I felt that there was nowhere to turn. I could never
be "free", but was told that if I didn't proceed up the Bridge I
was doomed, and life would be horrible. I was an emotional wreck,
my husband was an unemployed, emotional wreck, there was no
future, and life was no fun at all. The thought of leaving the
"Church" and becoming an ordinary person was sickening and
unthinkable.
I felt like a misfit though; I didn't fit into Scientology's mold,
and didn't fit into society anymore either. I wanted to leave it
all behind me but was constantly reminded that the only way to
make it in life was through Scientology. It was a never ending
delemma, a brainwashing. As I distanced myself, I became more able
to question the things that didn't make sense. Where was the
comfort I had sought through my "religion"? How could a "religion"
cause me so much grief and desperation? Yet, I could not lift that
Scientology veil and see the world clearly. I could not because I
had been told repeatedly by LRH that there was an advanced level
beyond my ability to recognize, 0T 3, and I thought that this
might be the reason for my disaffection. I felt that once I knew
this level I would be able to leave the "Church", that is, if I
lived through it, because I was not properly prepared. When I read
the secret story of 0T 3 and did not die, as I had been told, I
was on the long road to recovery. I have since read the story of
the advanced level OT 8, and did not subsequently spontaneously
combust either.
I have spent countless hours analyzing the effects of Scientology
and the stories of LRH. My experience with the "Church" shows the
malevolent side of the group. My benevolence was exploited. I am
concerned with the repercussions of exposing myself, because I
know the "Church" is a powerful and wealthy organization, but the
truth must be made known.
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I am L. Ron Hubbard and I approve of this message.