A long but excellent essay that is definitely worth the time to read.

I have no idea who this anon person is but I wish to thank him/her for
so eloquently putting these thoughts into words.  This anon's thoughts and
experiences are *very* similar to my own.

Cerri

http://www.lermanet.com/exit/dissent4.htm

What is expected from you as a Life Long Scientologist

We all have dreams. I think that everyone with a good heart dreams of
a better place for mankind, whether that be a freedom from disease, a
more prosperous society with freedom from hunger and want, or a
personal freedom without the worries, travails, and constraints of
ordinary life. Just imagine if someone you trusted came to you and
told you it was possible to live in a much better world. Imagine if
all your worries about what you were going to do with your life were
suddenly wiped away and you were going to help the world achieve that
great society. Just for a second, really believe that.

Over three decades ago I thought my dream was coming true. I signed on
to what I thought was to be the greatest adventure ever. I became a
Scientologist and I have spent over half of my life promoting,
supporting, and defending the Goals of Scientology. I believe strongly
in making this world a better place to live. The majority of
Scientologists I have met over the years have shared that goal. We
just wanted a better place to live. Most are caring people, who are
idealistic and willing to dedicate their lives to that effort. We gave
and gave and gave. Long hours, low pay, poor conditions, nothing would
stop us. We held high the Banner of Scientology, the Ultimate Truth!

So here I stand committing the unspeakable sin for a Scientologist,
dissent. How did I come to such a state? It’s a long story, but it’s
rather like many that have already been posted on the Internet
discussion group - ARS(Alt. Religion. Scientology). I tried hard to do
good and I am not anything like a suppressive person (a SP is a person
who has harmful evil intentions and acts on them) that the Church
would like you to believe. I really did cared about the future of
Scientology; after all I had made it my lifetime’s work. Over the last
few years I had become increasing concerned about the direction and
progress of the Church. Despite Church Management’s reports to the
contrary, it was clear to me that the Church’s great expansion, long
promised, wasn’t happening. The acceptance and application of
Scientology in the general public wasn’t anywhere near the level
needed to help change conditions in society. I had become tempered
against the incessant PR of "Huge" wins, which never seem to
materialize anywhere else but during Scientology International
Management (Int) closed televised events. While a few of the Upper
Organizations (Orgs) got a face lift with some new uniforms and the
promotion was made more professional, all I ever saw was the majority
of orgs and missions doing poorly. Also I was seeing behavior I really
didn’t like and thought very inappropriate for a church to condone,
and it was getting worst.

About this time I became fascinated with the Internet and it was
natural to survey the various Scientology Internet web sites. At first
I was just curiously looking at the various sites. I would try to stay
away from anything that I thought the Church didn’t approve of,
especially documents regarding Scientology’s confidential materials.
But as I read on I got answers to questions that I had for a long
time. I became more curious and rebellious. Also I started to feel a
little foolish that here I was, an OT and an old time Scientologist,
being intimidated by the Church what not to look at or read. OT is
short for "Operating Thetan", a coined word by Hubbard to describe the
spiritual being, not his mind or his body, but the "I" who controls
the mind and operates the body. A full OT, according to Hubbard, has
tremendous powers and can control matter, energy, space, and time. He
doesn’t need a body, but can inhabit it and move out of it by will. By
applying Hubbard’s spiritual technology he said a person could
rehabilitate once lost abilities and again be an OT. So why would the
Church have to censor what an OT could read? Realistically and more
honestly, an OT is a person who has completed certain confidential
levels in Scientology.

From the start it was apparent the Internet was something different
and revolutionary, much like the invention of the printing press.
Information flowed freely and quickly. Unbeknownst to the Church of
Scientology it was about to face its greatest challenge, Disclosure.
Scientology International Management (INT) was woefully unprepared
while the critics of Scientology were finally able to embrace the
freedom of communication. I jumped in the WWW pouring over
depositions, government documents, affidavits, newspaper articles,
legal stipulation of facts (an important item because the Church
agrees these things to be true), web sites, books, and anything I
could get my hands on, and what I read shocked me. This was the stuff
the Church’s Department of Special Affairs (OSA) saw and that I wasn’t
allowed to see. I wasn’t naïve about this as I am well trained; staff
experienced, and have done most of the auditing available. I realized
that not all the data about the evils of Scientology were true, but I
knew enough of personal experience to start to sort out the wheat from
the chaff.

I read about a person with the Internet handle of "Safe" who was
attacked by the Church for trying to reform it by bringing up issues
where he thinks the Church is wrong. He posted anonymously on the
Internet in ARS his thoughts regarding what he thought was incorrect
applications of Scientology procedures by Scientology management. Much
of what he said was in my opinion valid, but it really does not matter
what he said. The idea that "Safe" communicates possible misdeeds is
what upsets Church Officials. They went after him. They tried to find
out who he was from his Internet Service Provider. It shocked me. I
could think of no other religion, which would go psychotic over really
what was simple criticism. Why was this I asked myself?

It reminded me of a reaction from Nazi Germany or the old Soviet
Union. Frankly, what is at stake for the Church is simple. Scientology
is an Absolute Dictatorship and any threat to it must be stopped at
any cost. If Church members in mass start to question it, then it will
come apart. The Church of Scientology depends on fear of eternal
damnation to keep Church members under control.

Every Scientologist is taught, and has it drilled into him, that to be
critical of L. Ron Hubbard and/or the Church of Scientology is to be
guilty of hidden crimes, most likely against that which you are
criticizing. Now I know that sounds silly, but you have to believe me
that free speech, free ideas and critical thoughts are not welcome in
this area. It is an essential part of Church doctrine that if you have
criticism of Hubbard or the Church that you have done something wrong
to Hubbard or the Church or have a mis-understood word regarding what
they said. Who would speak up knowing that to speak objections is to
be labeled a criminal in the eyes of a Scientologist? There is one way
in Scientology, LRH’s way. Even now, almost Fifteen years after his
death, his words hold hostage any intellectual freedom and are used in
every communication to enforce what he wanted. Only now it’s David
Miscaviage, Head of Scientology, who is the main interpreter.

First let me explain something to those who have not done services.
The Church of Scientology is controlled by what is called the Sea
Organization, which as I said earlier was formed by LRH when he went
into hiding in the middle sixties. It was & is composed of fervent
church members who have dedicated themselves to promote LRH and his
goals. Members of the Sea Org live in a restricted environment for the
most part. They are told what to think of current society and the
happenings of everyday life. They are discouraged from watching TV or
reading the news. They really don’t have leisure time. They are pushed
and are always under the gun to produce more on their post. It is a
very stressful life. The Sea Org was under the direct control of
Hubbard and is where he ran the Church after he supposedly resigned in
1966. It continued to act under his direction up until he became too
reclusive and unfit to govern in the Eighties. It continues to be the
real ruling body of Scientology. No matter what anybody says or
whatever corporate documents can be produce, Sea Org personnel control
Scientology. Most experienced Scientologists realize that the
corporate structure is only for protection from the government and the
legal world to avoid taxes and scrutiny. The headman of the Sea
Organization is David Miscaviage. He had been working his way into
power from the early 80’s and by the time LRH died in 1986 he was able
to dismiss any other pretenders and step into LRH’s void. He has
aligned himself as Hubbard’s senior messenger, his protector of
Scientology’s future, the savior of Scientology. So when David
Miscaviage speaks, everyone listens. He is spoken of in awe. Myths are
being created around him. His nickname is the COB, Chairman of the
Board. Even old time Scientologists address him as "Sir." Whatever he
says goes, and he justifies it to Church members by manipulating and
aligning it to what Hubbard supposedly said. You have to understand
this; Scientologists believe that Hubbard had the answer for
everything. And I mean everything, from handling mental illness, to
running a business, and even to the washing of windows on your car. I
kid you not!

Therefore Rule #1 when speaking with a Scientologist is that they
think they know all the answers and thus "they really can’t
communicate with you." For all the talk about being there and
listening, a Scientologist thinks LRH knew ...

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I don't often comment on the writings of others but this essay really says it
all, I think for all Scientologists who've experienced second thoughts. Too
bad the length of the essay exceeds the attention span of the majority of
posters of this group. And it's too bad that a source can't be assigned to
this. It's an essay worth citing by others who might have a similar desire to
write critiques of the COS.

...

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