Quotes with a Holiday Punch

John Manning

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Dec 31, 2009, 9:13:51 AM12/31/09

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ï¿½Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.ï¿½
ï¿½ Lenny Bruce

ï¿½To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the
torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.ï¿½
ï¿½ Don Schrader

ï¿½Christian fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely
powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe-spanning entity that is
deeply and personally concerned about my sex life.ï¿½
ï¿½ Andrew Lias

ï¿½I read about an Eskimo hunter who asked the local missionary priest,
ï¿½If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?ï¿½ ï¿½No,ï¿½ said
the priest, ï¿½not if you did not know.ï¿½ ï¿½Then why,ï¿½ asked the Eskimo
earnestly, ï¿½did you tell me?ï¿½ï¿½
ï¿½ Annie Dillard

ï¿½You can safely assume that youï¿½ve created God in your own image when it
turns out that God hates all the same people you do.ï¿½
ï¿½ Anne Lamott

ï¿½An infinite God ought to be able to protect Himself, without going in
partnership with State Legislatures.ï¿½
ï¿½ Robert Ingersoll

ï¿½There is no point in saying that one should not doubt or one should
believe. Just to say ï¿½I believeï¿½ does not mean that you understand and
seeï¿½ To force oneself to believe and to accept a thing without
understanding is political, and not spiritual or intellectual.ï¿½
ï¿½ Walpola Rahula, ï¿½What the Buddha Taught.ï¿½

ï¿½Going to church doesnï¿½t make you a Christian anymore than going to the
garage makes you a car.ï¿½
ï¿½ Dr. Laurence J. Peter

ï¿½No man is a Christian who cheats his fellows, perverts the truth, or
speaks of a ï¿½clean bomb,ï¿½ yet he will be the first to make public his
faith in God.ï¿½
ï¿½ Marya Mannes in 1956.

�R.L.Measures

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Jan 1, 2010, 9:50:19 AM1/1/10

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In article <JeKdncIBRY49LKHW...@giganews.com>, John Manning
<jrob...@terra.com.br> wrote:

> �Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.�
> � Lenny Bruce
>
� good one John. I like this one: "If Jesus had been killed twenty
years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric
chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
--- Lenny Bruce.
>
> �To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the
> torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.�
> � Don Schrader
>
� Excellent
>
> �Christian fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely

> powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe-spanning entity that is

> deeply and personally concerned about my sex life.�
> � Andrew Lias
>
>
> �I read about an Eskimo hunter who asked the local missionary priest,
> �If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?� �No,� said
> the priest, �not if you did not know.� �Then why,� asked the Eskimo
> earnestly, �did you tell me?��
> � Annie Dillard
>
>
> �You can safely assume that you�ve created God in your own image when it
> turns out that God hates all the same people you do.�
> � Anne Lamott
>
>
> �An infinite God ought to be able to protect Himself, without going in
> partnership with State Legislatures.�
> � Robert Ingersoll
>
>
> �There is no point in saying that one should not doubt or one should
> believe. Just to say �I believe� does not mean that you understand and
> see� To force oneself to believe and to accept a thing without
> understanding is political, and not spiritual or intellectual.�
> � Walpola Rahula, �What the Buddha Taught.�
>
>
> �Going to church doesn�t make you a Christian anymore than going to the
> garage makes you a car.�
> � Dr. Laurence J. Peter
>
>
> �No man is a Christian who cheats his fellows, perverts the truth, or
> speaks of a �clean bomb,� yet he will be the first to make public his
> faith in God.�
> � Marya Mannes in 1956.

--
R.L. Measures. 805-386-3734, www.somis.org

Father Haskell

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Jan 1, 2010, 7:48:59 PM1/1/10

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On Jan 1, 9:50 am, r...@somis.org (•R.L.Measures) wrote:
> In article <JeKdncIBRY49LKHWnZ2dnUVZ_gBi4...@giganews.com>, John Manning

>
> <jrobe...@terra.com.br> wrote:
> > “Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.”
> > – Lenny Bruce
>
> • good one John. I like this one: "If Jesus had been killed twenty
> years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric
> chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
> --- Lenny Bruce.

Lenny's life pretty much paralleled jebus', didn't it?

Christopher A. Lee

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Jan 1, 2010, 8:03:38 PM1/1/10

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On Fri, 01 Jan 2010 06:50:19 -0800, r...@somis.org (�R.L.Measures) wrote:

>� good one John. I like this one: "If Jesus had been killed twenty
>years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric
>chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
>--- Lenny Bruce.

He was impaled - that's why his followers are such a pain in the ass.

�R.L.Measures

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Jan 1, 2010, 9:53:49 PM1/1/10

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In article
<6cff8214-d833-4770...@p32g2000vbi.googlegroups.com>,
Father Haskell <father...@yahoo.com> wrote:

> On Jan 1, 9:50=A0am, r...@somis.org (=95R.L.Measures) wrote:
> > In article <JeKdncIBRY49LKHWnZ2dnUVZ_gBi4...@giganews.com>, John Manning
> >
> > <jrobe...@terra.com.br> wrote:

> > > =93Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to=
> God.=94
> > > =96 Lenny Bruce
> >
> > =95 =A0good one John. =A0 I like this one: =A0"If Jesus had been killed t=

> wenty
> > years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric
> > chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

> > --- Lenny Bruce. =A0

>
> Lenny's life pretty much paralleled jebus', didn't it?

** who was Jebus?