Portland/Seattle ARKPLEs!
Nick Bensema
I will be in the Portland area April 7 through 10.
April 11 I will be on a train to Seattle.
April 12, 13 and some of 14 I'll be in Seattle.
So, who wants to rearrange their lives to coincide with my vacation,
hmmm?
--
Nick Bensema <ni...@io.com> ICQ#2135445
==== ======= ==============
DO COME FROM (30) PLEASE DO (10) NEXT
Crgre Jvyyneq
05:52:45 GMT]
> Damn! I hope I'm not too late.
::: montage of clocks and watches splitting apart and melting. -
- fx: wacky-boing:::
> I will be in the Portland area April 7 through 10.
> April 11 I will be on a train to Seattle.
> April 12, 13 and some of 14 I'll be in Seattle.
> So, who wants to rearrange their lives to coincide with my
> vacation, hmmm?
Just as soon as you explain the "missing time" in your
itinerary!!!
While you're in Portland, look for the tell-tale signs of Manley
Hubbell such as the debris trail of punctuation (predicted by
Subrahmanyan Chandrasekar) and the mobs of bitter grammarians
expected to be clinging to lost semicolons.
Unfortunately I cannot, as you say, "coincide" as I must remain
on the Lone Prairie; even though I had PLANNED on being there
dambit!!! In FACT, I have the SAME itinerary in MIND but it must
be LATER -- AGAIN!!! Who says I am NOT persecuted!!!
Concerning the Lone Prairie: It is true that encouraging words
are seldom heard and the skies are, in fact, cloudy all day but
that's not terribly different from the region of spacetime you
are expecting to, as you have said, coincide with. However,
there is to be a RENN-FAIRE and the Creative Anachronism types
are starting to climb out of the woodwork again.
Back to your voyage: Notice that the girls get cuter as you
approach navigable waterways. Remember to smile and nod and sign
their petitions. Don't worry, you're not insane, pot is
*already* legal here, but they don't *quite* seem to *remember*
that very well. It's not worth arguing about. Don't follow them
to the "party" unless you are really sincere about making $$$ in
real estate!!!
Carry a carton of cigarettes to give to the street people and
spit on the capatalists and stuff. Spend the money for a GLADD
green garbage bag for rain gear, the generic brands don't cut
it, but generic smokes are beloved by the street people.
When you reach Seattle, be sure to go to Uwajimaya's and
purchase more than the extra durian you will need for your
return trip. I am assuming that you will be making a return
trip. I also believe that Uwajimaya's may be very fresh and
clean and there may be some bathing caps there. I suspect that
it will be prematurely air-conditioned based on previous visits.
Linger in the canned food aisle and do try their little
restaurant BEFORE the lunch hour (then try one of those high-
falutin' pan-asian places and FIND out for yourself). Nothing
but bad dreams is to be gained by close inspection of the meat
or fish department -- go directly to the cold drinks and the
produce! Japanese energy drinks will definitely cause heart
palpitations and cerebral trauma, YHBW.
While there, get a bus pass or something and see the little
towns north of the canal that were eaten by the city, but still
somewhat distinct from the city and each other. If you are
physically mobile you can walk along the canal from the U to the
Ballard and it is very picturesque and there are boats and
people freaking out on street drugs and people who work at Adobe
(don't worry it's hard to tell which is which). If you go to the
guitar store in Fremont, TAKE YOUR JACKET OFF OR THEY WILL
SCREAM AT YOU!!! I'm still too traumatized to even THINK about
getting a ukelele "just for laffs" after that. While you're up
there, GO TO THE ZOO and look at the GORILLAS!!!!
OR, go to Discovery Park and walk all the way down to the
lighthouse/sewer plant (that isn't terribly disgusting) for the
picturesque view of the harbor. OR go to West Seattle, but you
should have a native to explain some things and rest assured
that you won't really fall off the off-ramp even though it
defies ALL OF PHYSICS.
Hint: While you're in the region, why not just get a room and
settle?
--
CRGRE
"You might say we're cosmically retarded,"
Stanton Friedman
"In short, what should be taken literally, and what
slipperily?" DRH
Daniel Buettner
> [Nick Bensema, alt.religion.kibology, Wed, 04 Apr 2001
> 05:52:45 GMT]
>
>> Damn! I hope I'm not too late.
>
> ::: montage of clocks and watches splitting apart and melting. -
> - fx: wacky-boing:::
>
>> I will be in the Portland area April 7 through 10.
>> April 11 I will be on a train to Seattle.
>> April 12, 13 and some of 14 I'll be in Seattle.
>> So, who wants to rearrange their lives to coincide with my
>> vacation, hmmm?
>
> Just as soon as you explain the "missing time" in your
> itinerary!!!
>
> Unfortunately I cannot, as you say, "coincide" as I must remain
> on the Lone Prairie; even though I had PLANNED on being there
> dambit!!! In FACT, I have the SAME itinerary in MIND but it must
> be LATER -- AGAIN!!! Who says I am NOT persecuted!!!
So how much later? I'll probably be paying a visit myself
to the Seattle area (for the obvious reason, given my major)
in the next few weeks. I haven't set up an interview date
yet, so I still have some room to manoeuvre. I don't know
if I'll be there at the same time as Nick though, since I'm
traveling to a different interview tomorrow and I don't
think missing EE lab two weeks in a row would be a good
idea.
Also, I just now found out that they are expecting me to
wear a suit to my interview on Friday. I don't even own a
"sport" coat.
--
~
~
~
"Daniel Buettner" line 4 of 4 --100%--
Darla VladsChyk
wrote:
>Also, I just now found out that they are expecting me to
>wear a suit to my interview on Friday. I don't even own a
>"sport" coat.
Daniel:
This is a milestone in a man's life--- time to invest in a decent
"interview suit." There must be a Men's Wearhouse (tm) even in
Lincoln.
Hint: Stay away from anything that sports a tag reading "Sans-A-Belt,"
"America's FUN Fabric," "Water Repellent," "Bullet Resistant!" or
"Test for colourfastness in an inconspicuous location."
Also: Avoid suits in colours other than black, gray, or navy.
"KeyLime," "Periwinkle," and "Cement" do not leave a good first
impression. Likewise large patterns, which are apt to render you
indistinguishable from the interviewer's office couch.
Avoid zippers except in the center front of the trousers. Likewise
contrast stitching, velvet trim, and slash pockets. Check in a
full-length mirror to be certain that the trouser cuffs break at the
vamp of your shoe, not at your ankle. Walk in and out of the dressing
area several times to make certain that the shoulders of the suit will
clear the average doorway.
A clean, well-ironed, white shirt is never a fashion-don't, while
polished dress shoes (No! Leave those Saucony Strato-Walkers at
home!), black socks, and a conservative necktie that neither squirts
nor lights up are always a plus.
It's best to carry your CV or resume in a slender leather case, zipped
or not, your choice. Please leave the boom box and the Game Boy in
the car! I promise the waiting room wait won't be long enough to
require the use of electronic stimulants.
Reference to recreational pharmaceuticals is not advised.
A quick mirror-check for visible ear-wax/tooth jimmies/nose bats is
always a good idea.
And remember! You're never fully dressed without a smile!
Good luck!
-=Darla=-
PS: Remember to bring your own pen. Preferably one without a Jessica
Alba eraser perched on the end.
Paradigm Fert
> >Also, I just now found out that they are expecting me to
> >wear a suit to my interview on Friday. I don't even own
> >a "sport" coat.
> And remember! You're never fully dressed without a smile!
>
> Good luck!
>
> -=Darla=-
> PS: Remember to bring your own pen. Preferably one
> without a Jessica Alba eraser perched on the end.
Please to be posting picture of sexy Jessica Alba wearing
only smile for me to looking a t her nakedness.
--
Paradigm perFert
members.nbci.com/paradigmlost
E Teflon Piano
<buet...@cse.unl.edu> wrote:
}
}Also, I just now found out that they are expecting me to
}wear a suit to my interview on Friday. I don't even own a
}"sport" coat.
When you go to buy the suit off the rack at a department store (or even
Joe Banks, jeez) and the saleman asks you "what you want the suit for?"
and you ask him "what do you mean *what do I want the suit for*!!??"
and he asks "is it for an interview, because we've got a really good
'interview suit'" tell him you have to go to court to stand trial for
assault on an impertinent mensware clerk.
Or go to Brooks Bros., where they don't ask those kind of dumass
questions.
--
Institute for Misapplied Psychometry fellow E Teflon Piano is founder of the
Internet 'Lectronic Legal Society. Teflon is a mark owned by duPont. E is E
poly(TFE) Piano Enterprises' [dibs] for ironic hyperbole and elitist satire.
ŠE[dibs] 1994-2001
Nick Bensema
E Teflon Piano <rgrif...@ubmail.ubalt.edu> wrote:
>Or go to Brooks Bros., where they don't ask those kind of dumass
Congratulations on waking a meme of a commercial I actually liked.
Crgre Jvyyneq
06:05:25 GMT]
>Also: Avoid suits in colours other than black, gray, or navy.
HiNT: Every color wants to be NAVY when it GROWS UP.
Joseph Michael Bay
>In article <050420010817178777%e...@The-Institute.firm>,
>E Teflon Piano <rgrif...@ubmail.ubalt.edu> wrote:
>>Or go to Brooks Bros., where they don't ask those kind of dumass
>Congratulations on waking a meme of a commercial I actually liked.
YM "wanking".
That's "doo-MAAZ".
--
Joe Bay FLX NAV VEH CHO
Cancer Biology NUC MEM ATM OIE
Leland Stanford Junior University LIF CNT PAK UNF
"I will defend to the death your right to attribute it to Voltaire"-Churchill
David DeLaney
>[Darla VladsChyk, alt.religion.kibology>
>>Also: Avoid suits in colours other than black, gray, or navy.
>HiNT: Every color wants to be NAVY when it GROWS UP.
I wore suit&tie in high sk00l, and vowed Never Again (except on stage of
course). And have pretty much kept to that.
Dave
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://panacea.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ/ I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
Nick Bensema
Darla VladsChyk <Darl...@hfx.remove.eastlink.ca> wrote:
>
>This is a milestone in a man's life--- time to invest in a decent
>"interview suit." There must be a Men's Wearhouse (tm) even in
>Lincoln.
One company says I shouldn't bother with a suit, just business-casual.
What do I do?
--
Nick Bensema <ni...@io.com> ICQ#2135445
==== ======= ==============
01001100101011100011111111001011000000101011
Tamara
"Nick Bensema" <ni...@fnord.io.com> wrote in message
news:Q1uz6.131802$lj4.4...@news6.giganews.com...
> In article <3acc06a1....@news.hfx.eastlink.ca>,
> Darla VladsChyk <Darl...@hfx.remove.eastlink.ca> wrote:
> >
> >This is a milestone in a man's life--- time to invest in a decent
> >"interview suit." There must be a Men's Wearhouse (tm) even in
> >Lincoln.
>
> One company says I shouldn't bother with a suit, just business-casual.
> What do I do?
Get a suit. I'm a recruiter...I know what to look for. If you show up to
an interview with me as "business/casual" then you will just end up in my
"business/casual" file. I hate to sound superficial here but FIRST
IMPRESSIONS COUNT!
~T
Beable van Polasm
Get a black suit. And a black tie. And some black sunglasses.
And then walk around singing "COME ON BAY BEE SHAKE A TAIL
FEATHER!", "I'M A SOOOOUUUUUL MAN!" (NOT "I'M ARSEHOLE MAN!"!),
"HIDEY HIDEY HIDEY HO! SKOODLEY VOO SKOODLEY VOO!", "BACK TO
MY SWEET HOME! CHICAGO!".
Oh yeah Bay Bee.
cheers
Beable van Polasm
--
He could knock the wind out of anything, including a sailboat!
-- WCW Nitro Commentator
IQC 78189333
http://members.nbci.com/_______/index.html
Beable van Polasm
> Crgre Jvyyneq <crgre+...@newsguy.com> wrote:
> >[Darla VladsChyk, alt.religion.kibology>
> >>Also: Avoid suits in colours other than black, gray, or navy.
> >HiNT: Every color wants to be NAVY when it GROWS UP.
>
> I wore suit&tie in high sk00l, and vowed Never Again (except on stage of
> course). And have pretty much kept to that.
Yeah, and you've got those great jobs as the Comic Book Store
Guy and the Sandwich Artist. MAYBE people should consider
wearing a suit to a job interview. ANYWAY! Why didn't The Old
Lady tell us what colour SHIRT AND TIE to wear? I think SHIRT
AND TIE colour is more important than SOCK colour!
cheers
Beable van Polasm
--
"I hate leonardo dacapprio I thin he is a little bitch and a whiner.
I would pay my life savinge to beable to kick his
ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" -- Mark Sharpe
http://members.nbci.com/_______/index.html IQC 78189333
Ben Wolfson
Polasm" <bea...@my-deja.com> wrote:
> Get a black suit. And a black tie. And some black sunglasses. And then
> walk around singing "COME ON BAY BEE SHAKE A TAIL FEATHER!", "I'M A
> SOOOOUUUUUL MAN!" (NOT "I'M ARSEHOLE MAN!"!), "HIDEY HIDEY HIDEY HO!
> SKOODLEY VOO SKOODLEY VOO!", "BACK TO MY SWEET HOME! CHICAGO!".
If he's in Chicago, shouldn't he get a black suit + shirt and a white
tie?
--
Barnabas T. Rumjuggler
The women come and go,
Speaking of the Regis Philbin Show
-- Joe Frank
Matt McIrvin
Tamara <tamara...@sprint.ca> wrote:
>
>"Nick Bensema" <ni...@fnord.io.com> wrote in message
>news:Q1uz6.131802$lj4.4...@news6.giganews.com...
>>
>> What do I do?
>
>Get a suit. I'm a recruiter...I know what to look for. If you show up to
>an interview with me as "business/casual" then you will just end up in my
>"business/casual" file. I hate to sound superficial here but FIRST
>IMPRESSIONS COUNT!
Agreed; I always wore a suit to job interviews even if they laughed at
me when I got there.
Maybe it shouldn't have been a clown suit.
BUT... on the other hand... if the HR department actively TELLS you
that you SHOULD NOT wear a suit, then expects you to wear one, well,
that might imply that this is a company of sneaky lying bastards who
play bizarre head games with people as standard operating procedure,
and this might not be a company you want to work for. And maybe not
wearing a suit is an effective way to find out that information.
The entire concept of "business casual," actually, strikes me as a
bizarre head game in and of itself.
Oh, well. Wear the suit anyway, Nick. If they're going to jerk you
around, you'll probably find out when the interview starts in any
event.
David DeLaney
>> I wore suit&tie in high sk00l, and vowed Never Again (except on stage of
>> course). And have pretty much kept to that.
>
>Yeah, and you've got those great jobs as the Comic Book Store
>Guy and the Sandwich Artist.
Hey, I graduated to tech support!
>MAYBE people should consider
>wearing a suit to a job interview.
Then I might get a job where I have to wear a suit! Ick.
>ANYWAY! Why didn't The Old
>Lady tell us what colour SHIRT AND TIE to wear? I think SHIRT
>AND TIE colour is more important than SOCK colour!
Depends on what job you're doing, doesn't it?
Dave "Ron J*r*m*" DeLaney
Tamara
news:lvy9td5...@beable.van.polasm.bigpond.net.au...
> d...@gatekeeper.vic.com (David DeLaney) writes:
> > Crgre Jvyyneq <crgre+...@newsguy.com> wrote:
> > >[Darla VladsChyk, alt.religion.kibology>
> > >>Also: Avoid suits in colours other than black, gray, or navy.
> > >HiNT: Every color wants to be NAVY when it GROWS UP.
> >
> > I wore suit&tie in high sk00l, and vowed Never Again (except on stage of
> > course). And have pretty much kept to that.
>
> Yeah, and you've got those great jobs as the Comic Book Store
> Guy and the Sandwich Artist. MAYBE people should consider
> wearing a suit to a job interview. ANYWAY! Why didn't The Old
> Lady tell us what colour SHIRT AND TIE to wear? I think SHIRT
> AND TIE colour is more important than SOCK colour!
You are my ex and I claim...well...fuck...I can't claim anything. *sigh*
It actually used to make me laugh to see my ex go in to work (GASP!) wearing
a navy suit with bright white sweat socks.
~T (Just call me "Queen Bitch" this month.)
Darla VladsChyk
wrote:
>One company says I shouldn't bother with a suit, just business-casual.
>What do I do?
Latest word I have is that "Business Casual" is now "relaxed" trousers
(not jeans) and a sport coat, and a co-ordinating collared shirt with
no tie. Socks and shoes are also good. If you can find a nice
handbag, so much the better. But even in Arizona it's too early in the
season for open-toed shoes, so put away those *sweet* Manolo Blahnik
sandals.
HTH!
-=Darla=-
Darla VladsChyk
<bea...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>... Why didn't The Old
>Lady tell us what colour SHIRT AND TIE to wear? I think SHIRT
>AND TIE colour is more important than SOCK colour!
I *said* wear a *white* shirt, you goon. And a tie that doesn't light
up or squirt. If the shirt is white and the suit is dark, it doesn't
matter what colour the tie is--- go crazy wid yo own bad sef! Wear
puce!
Thanks for asking!
The Old Lady
Beable van Polasm
> On Sat, 07 Apr 2001 02:54:38 GMT, Beable van Polasm
> <bea...@my-deja.com> wrote:
> >... Why didn't The Old
> >Lady tell us what colour SHIRT AND TIE to wear? I think SHIRT
> >AND TIE colour is more important than SOCK colour!
>
> I *said* wear a *white* shirt, you goon.
I KNOW YOU DID! But I don't LIKE wearing white shirts! I want
to find a nice grey shirt. Anyway, I'm not a goon. I'm more
of a stooge. Or a thug.
> And a tie that doesn't light up or squirt.
DOH!
> If the shirt is white
And it WON'T be. Even if it was white when I bought it, it won't
stay white.
> and the suit is dark, it doesn't matter what colour the tie is--- go
> crazy wid yo own bad sef! Wear puce!
Puke you mean.
cheers
Beable van Polasm
--
WHAT WOULD WILLIAM SHATNER DO? IQC 78189333
I was really surprised to be asked here tonight to honour Bob Hope.
Surprised isn't the right word... annoyed -- Ronald Reagan
http://members.nbci.com/_______/index.html
Ben Allard
<dTvz6.247$Ar3....@newscontent-01.sprint.ca>:
>~T (Just call me "Queen Bitch" this month.)
ITYM "Queen Borg" HTH! PLZ stop searchenginebombing STV season finale
spoilers or keep it in ALT.FAN.STAR-TREK PLZ.
--ben
Glenn Knickerbocker
>Latest word I have is that "Business Casual" is now "relaxed" trousers
>(not jeans) and a sport coat, and a co-ordinating collared shirt with
Peasant collar OK? Preferred? Considered "quirky"?
Buttoned or unbuttoned?
http://www.bestweb.net/~notr - Burning and disfiguring an arm is NOTHING
ŹR - compared to Glenn Knickerbocker pulling off a decent bon mot.--Poot
Crgre Jvyyneq
02:54:38 GMT]
>hy didn't The Old
>Lady tell us what colour SHIRT AND TIE to wear? I think SHIRT
>AND TIE colour is more important than SOCK colour!
How do you feel about YANKEES wearing regimental/school/club
ties when they don't even know the NAME of the
regiment/school/club???
Crgre Jvyyneq
01:27:12 GMT]
>In article <3acc06a1....@news.hfx.eastlink.ca>, Darla
>VladsChyk <Darl...@hfx.remove.eastlink.ca> wrote:
>>
>>This is a milestone in a man's life--- time to invest in a
>>decent "interview suit." There must be a Men's Wearhouse
>>(tm) even in Lincoln.
>
>One company says I shouldn't bother with a suit, just
>business-casual. What do I do?
Define business-casual...uh-huh...WEAR A SUIT.
Yeh, what Tamara said!
Also:
[Matt McIrvin, alt.religion.kibology, Sat, 07 Apr 2001
03:05:00 GMT]
>The entire concept of "business casual," actually, strikes me
>as a bizarre head game in and of itself.
YES!!! IT!!! IS!!! Just remember the Talking Heads song
"Crosseyed and Painless" (Lost my shape/trying to act casual)!!!
IMPORTANT: Anyone who uses a phrase like "business casual"
*expects* suit-level formality and probably has other bad
habits you'll get to find out ALL about. Especially in
Seaddle, where they talk a LOT about how CASUAL they are, but
what they have in mind is probably two orders of formality
beyond what is compatible with Reason. What those people are
talking about when they say "casual" is hard to understand and
requires you to be locked-into a social scheme that takes
years to fit into and maybe isn't worth it ***and what they're
wearing looks like a suit to me anyway*** -- save your sanity
and wear a suit.
exercise:
GO READ PAUL FUSSELL'S BOOK _CLASS_ or listen to him reading
it at:
http://www.broadcast.com/books/nonfiction/class_916.html and
then BUY IT because it's good!!!
If you have that book handy, look at page 167 and imagine all
three illustrations in superposition and you know what my
parents' coffee table looks like!!! Humor in Real Life!
Portland may have some serious pockets of true casual left,
but listen between the lines or whatever. If they're really
casual, the suit probably won't register if it seems like you
know what you're doing or, if it's Too Weird, you can
rip the tie and jacket off. It's not so easy to get dressed
while Sir is asking you a Question, if they aren't really
casual.
NAVY, single-breated jacket, white shirt, maroon* tie with NO
pattern (i.e. look at the teevee news and see try to look the
same as el president except avoid non-navy suits and those
silvery and sky blue ties that suddenly became popular --
stick to maroon -- stay away from stripes because you never
know when you're going to anger some UKoid whose ENTIRE family
served in that regiment/went to that school/hangs out at that
club; stripes mean things and you don't know when you're going
to meet an angry UKian.
See if you can find the tie with the TINY white dots on a navy
background -- not polka dots - TINY dots. That's a good tie to
have, but don't be fooled by flimsy imitations you'll see at
most mall department stores -- it should have HEFT. Get ties
that have bulk and are entirely of silk1 Your tie should have
the same stall number as your jacket! Your Tie should not feel
like cheap knickers (even though there is nothing wrong with
cheap knickers)!
Make sure you find someone who understands these things (and
who can fix them) to make sure the Suit fits the way it's
supposed to fit. It's NOT going to fit correctly straight
outta mens wearhouse. It's NOT. IT JUST ISN'T. Find a
Seamstress who can FIX it for you and be ready to Pay her at
least half the price of the suit to do it Right. HINT: The
less expensive suit after the Seamstress is done with it is
better than the expensive suit without the Seamstress -- DON'T
BE RUBE!!! Until you can afford a tailor, DON'T buy some
gimmicky outfit the creep at the mall tells you is
creme-de-la-cream! On the other hand, man-made materials are
your friend, but be careful!
FURTHERMORE: No tie-clips or clip-on ties! The
calculator watch should probably be upgraded. SHUN purple and
green!!! Bow ties are for the INSANE and so is the color
ORANGE (pronoucned "CRGRE"). Remember, these are also warning
signs, as found in nature, for YOU to pick up on THEM! See
lots of ORANGE? BOW TIES??? Regimental/shkewwwel/club ties
worn by people with obviously no connection or even dim
awareness of the origin of their ornaments? RUN! On the other
hand, if you see an orange bow tie, stick around and see how
they Did It.
Note: All the rules are different in the South -- is your
interview in the South? Or Hawaii? In Hawaii, you are EXPECTED
to wear the Aloha Shirt! "Down Under" you have to go to "joubs
interviews" *naked* except for a "tin" of pink latex paint
they give you five minutes before "The Big Wallaby" "waltzes"
in!!!
SPLIT! Just wearing the suit should piss you off enough to
show more ambition, drive and focus than their entire company!
XAM!
I don't suppose we could talk you into wearing all white and
little wings?
Also, I bet you could get away with a camel hair sport coat
and just the right blue shirt with a one of those silvery ties
the el president and el expresidnet like so much! Are you sure
you don't want to be a stock broker?
All this from someone in blue jeans, skatar shoes, and a torn
t-shirt that says "IDAHO VANDALS" on it and $98
worth of shiney new Rudy Rucker books about INFINITY!!! CAVEAT
LECTOR but read/listen to that Paul Fussell book!!!
--
CRGRE
"You might say we're cosmically retarded," Stanton
Friedman
"In short, what should be taken literally, and what
slipperily?" DRH
*Maroon is NOT red NOR is it purple!!!
Beable van Polasm
> NAVY, single-breated jacket, white shirt, maroon* tie with NO
> pattern
But if you wear maroon, won't they all think you're a QUEENSLANDER?
QUEENSLANDER!
cheers
Beable van Polasm
--
I wouldn't burn my bridges and confine them to one area -- Sir Joh
IQC 78189333 ^^^^^^^^ QUOTE FROM A FAMOUS QUEENSLANDER!!! ^^^^^^^
http://members.nbci.com/_______/index.html
Fantod
>In article <BMuz6.220$Ar3....@newscontent-01.sprint.ca>,
>Tamara <tamara...@sprint.ca> wrote:
>>Get a suit. I'm a recruiter...I know what to look for.
>Agreed; I always wore a suit to job interviews even if they
>laughed at me when I got there.
I have never worn a suit to a job interview. I don't even own one.
I would not want to work in place that requires its employees to wear
one, so I guess it all works out. Thanks to the miracle of the
Internet, I can work wearing what ever I want, at home. Bwahaha! You
suit wearing puppet men! You are long overdue for your hour of
castration![1]
(Hint to Nick: In an interview, demand things. They are looking for
people with that much self-confidence. Works for me, at least.)
[1] "Mother Rage", Cathy Fire
--
Patrick Phelan
w____\\W//___w Te Hupenui
Warning: Pat-like typing detected!
http://copeland.choicelogic.com/~phelan/
Tamara
"Fantod" <fan...@geocities.com> wrote in message
news:Xns907C4F1B35...@199.45.45.11...
> [Matt McIrvin]:
>
> >In article <BMuz6.220$Ar3....@newscontent-01.sprint.ca>,
> >Tamara <tamara...@sprint.ca> wrote:
>
> >>Get a suit. I'm a recruiter...I know what to look for.
>
> >Agreed; I always wore a suit to job interviews even if they
> >laughed at me when I got there.
>
> I have never worn a suit to a job interview. I don't even own one.
> I would not want to work in place that requires its employees to wear
> one, so I guess it all works out.
But you wear the funny little hat and learned the phrase "do you want fries
with that?"
~T
Brian Chase
> Get a suit. I'm a recruiter...I know what to look for. If you show up to
> an interview with me as "business/casual" then you will just end up in my
> "business/casual" file. I hate to sound superficial here but FIRST
> IMPRESSIONS COUNT!
For most work environments, which are pretty lame-ass, dull, and/or
boring, I think it's a good idea to show up to interviews in a suit or at
least a nice shirt and tie.
However, for my last four jobs, I've not done so--and have landed crazy
mad money at the last three of those four places of employment. The first
one was right out of school, so I didn't make as much. This is all with
respect to the tech industry though, specifically sysadmin work. Your
peers tend to be the blue-jean and hiking boot crowd. The most effective
way to make a good impression with this group is to know what you're
talking about, be friendly, and be confident--in that order of importance.
I don't think you can get away with this in other professions, maybe at
some software development jobs, but a lot of those places are still
business casual. Yech. One of the things that really attracts me to
sysadmin work is that the focus is less about appearances and
superficiality, and more on substance and actual knowledge.
It also depends on your location. Along the west coast of the US, there's
a lot more tolerance for this. The midwest is very conservative and
business casual is the norm. I've seem some more laid back places on the
east coast too, in the Virginia suburbs of the DC area, but I don't know
if that was the norm or an anomally.
-jarai.
--
--- Brian Chase | b...@world.std.com | http://world.std.com/~bdc/ -----
This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as
a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us.
-- Western Union internal memo, 1876.
Lleah
wrote:
Actually, probably not.
I think I know which company said that, and in this case, they're
telling the truth.
I suggest nice trousers, a startched shirt, and a snazzy sweater.
-L
Also you should add some llamas and a couple inflatable floatie rings.
Karlo X
<lv3dbl7...@beable.van.polasm.bigpond.net.au>:
>Get a black suit. And a black tie. And some black sunglasses.
And introduce yourself as "Mister Pink".
k.
--
"In spite of everything, I still believe that people are
really good at heart." - Anne Frank
Fantod
>> I have never worn a suit to a job interview.
>But you wear the funny little hat and learned the phrase "do you
>want fries with that?"
You calling my toque funny? Eh?
But seriously, that is exactly the sort of attitude I object to. Do
you think you could possible tell the difference in the code I
produce while wearing a suit (sweat or three piece) or wearing what I
am now?
You only use it as a test, to weed out the people who are unable to
divine that there are rules in the marketplace you are in. This is
fine, for you. I prefer to inflict skills-based tests[1] on people,
and place them accordingly. They can wear a suit while they take the
test and email it back, if they wish.
[1] Does EMACS have the Buddha nature?
--
Patrick Phelan, hippy coder/admin
w____\\W//___w Te Hupenui
Quiet Student of Untaught Knowledge
http://copeland.choicelogic.com/~phelan/
Joseph Michael Bay
Alex Suter
>> What do I do?
>
>Get a suit. I'm a recruiter...I know what to look for. If you show up to
>an interview with me as "business/casual" then you will just end up in my
>"business/casual" file. I hate to sound superficial here but FIRST
>IMPRESSIONS COUNT!
First impressions do count, but if you're going for a coding
job in California, NEVER EVER EVER WEAR A SUIT. On behalf of
all programmers everywhere, let me say that I don't want to
encourage that sort of behavior, plus when you do get hired
everyone makes fun of you for what you wore to the interview.
Or so I hear.
Also, everyone should move out of California because I want to
buy a house. Phase one of my plan is complete with PG&E
declaring Chapter 11. Phase two involves lots of TNT on the
San Andreas fault and Grace Jones, so you'd best get out now.
It's in your own best interest.
--
Alex Suter
http://world.std.com/~asuter/
"Oh boy! Sleep! That's where I'm a viking!"
Tamara
> [Tamara]:
>
> >> I have never worn a suit to a job interview.
>
> >But you wear the funny little hat and learned the phrase "do you
> >want fries with that?"
>
> You calling my toque funny? Eh?
Nah. It's cute. Can I have a chocolate shake, too, please?
> But seriously, that is exactly the sort of attitude I object to. Do
> you think you could possible tell the difference in the code I
> produce while wearing a suit (sweat or three piece) or wearing what I
> am now?
I don't have much of a choice. I recruit for the Insurance Industry -- one
of the biggest Boys' Schools around.
> You only use it as a test, to weed out the people who are unable to
> divine that there are rules in the marketplace you are in. This is
> fine, for you. I prefer to inflict skills-based tests[1] on people,
> and place them accordingly. They can wear a suit while they take the
> test and email it back, if they wish.
How can I possibly test the skills of a Commercial Lines Underwriter or a
Senior Business Analyst? It can't be done. Too much grey area. Insurance
is such an incestuous industry and they do most of their hiring based on
whether or not the guy/girl will "fit in." This is why the standard navy
blue suit (for either gender) is extremely important. True story: I sent
out one young chap on an interview last year and he forgot to remove his
earrings. The company was SHOCKED that he showed up wearing a couple of
earrings but they still wanted to give him a "second chance" (their words,
not mine) so they asked me to arrange to have him come back again to make a
"better impression" so I told him to remove the shiny metal things and to
wear a blue suit. He did and he met with the *same* people and they called
me back immediately to say that he was right for the job.
~T (I don't make the rules but, unfortunately, I have to play by them if I
want to survive.)
Darla VladsChyk
>But seriously, that is exactly the sort of attitude I object to.
You shouldn't object to Tamara's attitude at all if, as you say, you
understand that her requirements for the workplace are different from
yours.
You're right--- if you're sitting in your home cube writing code, it
doesn't matter what you're wearing. You can wear nothing at all, a
thin coat of body paint, or--- like I am right now--- a wedding gown
and Lady RaceWalkers.
But in Tam's world--- as in my previous world--- employees who are
required to interact with customers in various venues that have
various codes of dress and conduct, and whose appearance--- like it or
not--- is part and parcel of the impression those customers get of the
company for which the employee works, have to dress the part. Man,
that was a long and unweildy sentence. I think I hurt myself.
Anyway, I think I have made my point.
-=Darla=-
(Wandering off...)
Andrew Pearson
>
> [Nick Bensema, alt.religion.kibology, Sat, 07 Apr 2001
> 01:27:12 GMT]
>
> >In article <3acc06a1....@news.hfx.eastlink.ca>, Darla
> >VladsChyk <Darl...@hfx.remove.eastlink.ca> wrote:
> >>
> >>This is a milestone in a man's life--- time to invest in a
> >>decent "interview suit." There must be a Men's Wearhouse
> >>(tm) even in Lincoln.
> >
> >One company says I shouldn't bother with a suit, just
> >business-casual. What do I do?
>
> Define business-casual...uh-huh...WEAR A SUIT.
>
> Yeh, what Tamara said!
Much tip-top advice from Darla and Crgre...
A couple of other small points which seem to have been omitted so far:
It really is a good idea to check that your flies are done up
before going into the interview. At the same time quickly remind
yourself what the job is as well, as you should pretend to want
it.
Sure, I wear suits sometimes, but I could stop if I wanted to...
Alright I admit it, My name's Andrew Pearson and I'm a
suitaholic. Sometimes I wear them at the weekends. And how can
anyone stand to work in those shirts with button-up cuffs?
Haven't they got any decent cufflinks?
--
So Archimedes Plutonium is tied to a stake in the backyard, and
sleeping in his kennel. Kibo tiptoes up (carrying a dustbin lid)
and measures the length of the chain Arch is tied to, then marks
a radius on the ground...
Tamara
news:3acf6aca....@news.hfx.eastlink.ca...
> On Sat, 07 Apr 2001 18:44:11 GMT, fan...@geocities.com (Fantod) wrote:
> You're right--- if you're sitting in your home cube writing code, it
> doesn't matter what you're wearing.
Exactly. A good deal of my work is done from home and while I'm working
from there I am usually wearing my jammies. IANMTU. BUT -- when I go out
to interview a candidate, I dress for a business meeting. I don't like to
do this but I -have- to do this. I want to make a good impression and,
unfortunately, in today's society, that is usually done by wearing clothing
that is appropriate for the job at hand. How would it look to a candidate
if I showed up in jeans and a T-Shirt when they went out of their way to put
on a business outfit? Same goes for a meeting with a Client-Company. If I
strolled in wearing my overalls and a sweater, do you really think they
would take me seriously?! I'm a damn good business woman but I still know
that certain rules have to be followed before people will even give me the
time of day.
> But in Tam's world--- as in my previous world--- employees who are
> required to interact with customers in various venues that have
> various codes of dress and conduct, and whose appearance--- like it or
> not--- is part and parcel of the impression those customers get of the
> company for which the employee works, have to dress the part.
It sucks but it's true. I know of a person who was once leaning against the
wall in an elevator at a major insurance company and he was told by an
executive to "straighten up and stand tall" as he was a representative of
the company and he should be presentable at all times because who knows when
a client could walk by.
~T
Tamara
"Andrew Pearson" <apea...@pt.lu> wrote in message
news:3ACF706F...@pt.lu...
> A couple of other small points which seem to have been omitted so far:
>
> It really is a good idea to check that your flies are done up
> before going into the interview.
And don't eat your lunch during the interview. True story: I interviewed
some chyk a few years back and she took out a hamburger and put it on the
edge of my desk and proceeded to eat it.
~T (oh I have -tons- of interview stories!)
Joseph Michael Bay
I had a pizza delivered. If I'm here, and you're here, then doesn't
that make it *our* time? And surely there's nothing wrong with a
pizza on our time.
Another fun thing to do is when the interviewer goes to shake your
hand, jump back and go "DON'T TOUCH! Oh, sorry. I have a thing
about that."
Andrew Pearson
>
> And don't eat your lunch during the interview. True story: I interviewed
> some chyk a few years back and she took out a hamburger and put it on the
> edge of my desk and proceeded to eat it.
>
> ~T (oh I have -tons- of interview stories!)
May we please hear one?
Oh go on! Tells us a story! Puh-lease?
We've interviewed some doozies recently, flies open, eye-whirling
loonies, drunk, not interested in the job - perm any 3 from the
above... but nobody who actually whipped out a burger and
hoovered it up during the interview.
Darla VladsChyk
wrote:
>... True story: I interviewed
>some chyk a few years back and she took out a hamburger and put it on the
>edge of my desk and proceeded to eat it.
>
>~T (oh I have -tons- of interview stories!)
Me too. One of my faves: A guy came in to interview for an account
exec (sales) position, and just as he was getting settled I had to
take a call from my boss in NY. As I spoke on the phone, the
interviewee started rooting around in his capacious briefcase. Then
he stood up and wandered around my office, his back to me, holding
something in his hands.
When he heard me hang up the phone, he spun around looking eager and
concerned. He was holding a fake-wood and engraved acrylic
contraption in one hand and a cord in the other.
"Do you have an electrical outlet handy?" he asked, "I want to plug in
my G.E. Illuminated SalesMan Award and show you how it lights up!"
Needless to say, he didn't get the job.
-=Darla=-
Darla VladsChyk
wrote:
>I had a pizza delivered. If I'm here, and you're here, then doesn't
>that make it *our* time? And surely there's nothing wrong with a
>pizza on our time.
Yes, Mister Hand.
>Another fun thing to do is when the interviewer goes to shake your
>hand, jump back and go "DON'T TOUCH! Oh, sorry. I have a thing
>about that."
Yes, Shania.
-=D=-
Dramar Ankalle
It sjust what a frikken wimpy wimpy wimpy BLOODY APPEASER would say!
Pizza in our time, indeed!
Crgre Jvyyneq
>
>Actually, probably not.
>I think I know which company said that, and in this case,
>they're telling the truth.
>I suggest nice trousers, a startched shirt, and a snazzy
>sweater.
See how confusing this "casual" thing is? They'll call you
"sweaterman" if you wear a sweater.
Brian Chase
Darla VladsChyk <Darl...@hfx.remove.eastlink.ca> wrote:
> [...]
> When he heard me hang up the phone, he spun around looking eager and
> concerned. He was holding a fake-wood and engraved acrylic
> contraption in one hand and a cord in the other.
>
> "Do you have an electrical outlet handy?" he asked, "I want to plug in
> my G.E. Illuminated SalesMan Award and show you how it lights up!"
>
> Needless to say, he didn't get the job.
What if the contraption had vibrated?
Darla VladsChyk
wrote:
>What if the contraption had vibrated?
WHO is in charge of the Obvious Bag this week?! And WHERE is Terri
Willis?!?
-=Darla=-
Tamara
> May we please hear one?
>
> Oh go on! Tells us a story! Puh-lease?
1. A woman brought her husband along and insisted that he sit in on the
interview because "he makes all of the decisions for the family." (I said
no)
2. A young guy showed up a few hours late and reeked of pot. He also
brought a friend along. (I told them to leave)
3. A highly qualified executive couldn't stop scratching his nuts. We're
talking -really- scratching his nuts! (I didn't say anything but I didn't
present his CV to the client-company)
4. Bribes. Many. (no, never accepted one. STUPID ME!! STUPID, STUPID
ME!!)
5. And then there was that time when I went to ask a candidate an important
question and I belched louder than Barney Gumble. That was rather
embarrassing.
~T
James Kibo Parry
>
> [re Tamara's advice that people should dress up for job interviews]
>
> You're right--- if you're sitting in your home cube writing code, it
> doesn't matter what you're wearing. You can wear nothing at all, a
> thin coat of body paint, or--- like I am right now--- a wedding gown
> and Lady RaceWalkers.
However, thick, lumpy coats of body paint are right out. Especially stucco.
(Stucco is nature's tapioca.)
Me, I'm wearing a turtleneck toupee that covers my entire head,
a propeller navel ring, computer-generated underpants, knee pads
that look like skulls, a domino mask made from real dominoes,
and seventeen roller skates with sixteen-seventeenths of a wheel
apiece because having an extra wheel would be WEIRD.
> But in Tam's world--- as in my previous world--- employees who are
> required to interact with customers in various venues that have
> various codes of dress and conduct, and whose appearance--- like it or
> not--- is part and parcel of the impression those customers get of the
> company for which the employee works, have to dress the part. Man,
> that was a long and unweildy sentence. I think I hurt myself.
The important thing is that you hurt yourself while wearing something
really scratchy with a necktie tightly bolted around the bottleneck
between the part of your body that needs the most bloodflow and the
part of your body that makes blood. And also, if your office is like
a normal office, the only food they allow you to have all day (unless
you buy some food to eat AT WORK with YOUR OWN MONEY) is an unlimited
supply of heavily over-caffeinated coffee, because they're not allowed
to get their employees hooked on cocaine any more.
> Anyway, I think I have made my point.
I will never, ever take any job that requires me to wear either
a necktie or a nametag. Or, especially, an orange polyester vest
and purple clip-on bow tie. I've been Supermarket Bozo already.
-- K.
DID I MENTION THE WATERMELON STORY YET?
Theresa Willis
I'm busy designing a Kibo action figure on my computer.
It's not very good.
--Terri
--
We'll know that we are truly equal when we
can order bulletproof vests by cup size :-)
--Lynn Kosmakos 6/4/00
Matt McIrvin
Fantod <fan...@geocities.com> wrote:
>[Matt McIrvin]:
>
>>Agreed; I always wore a suit to job interviews even if they
>>laughed at me when I got there.
>
>I have never worn a suit to a job interview. I don't even own one.
>I would not want to work in place that requires its employees to wear
>one, so I guess it all works out.
Me neither. Almost nobody wears a suit where I work except the CEO
when he comes to visit, and people who are coming in for interviews.
It seems to be a generally accepted notion around here that for tech
jobs, you want to dress up more for an interview than the people who
actually work at the company. The interview suit functions mostly as
a sign of seriousness; it's a small signal that you care enough to
perform some minimal gesture of preparation. I wouldn't recommend
against hiring somebody because they *didn't* wear one-- that would be
silly-- but it probably has some positive effect on my impression when
I'm interviewing a candidate.
Joseph Michael Bay
ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) writes:
>I will never, ever take any job that requires me to wear either
>a necktie or a nametag. Or, especially, an orange polyester vest
>and purple clip-on bow tie. I've been Supermarket Bozo already.
Cram it, clown.
Beable van Polasm
> [Lleah, alt.religion.kibology, Sat, 07 Apr 2001 16:50:17 GMT]
> >Actually, probably not.
> >I think I know which company said that, and in this case,
> >they're telling the truth.
> >I suggest nice trousers, a startched shirt, and a snazzy
> >sweater.
>
> See how confusing this "casual" thing is? They'll call you
> "sweaterman" if you wear a sweater.
If you wear a double-breasted suit and spend ten minutes
doing up one of the buttons, and then touch your toes a
couple of times, followed by a bunch of lame jokes and a
few top-ten lists, they'll call you LETTERMAN!
cheers
Beable van Polasm
--
If you manage to remain oblivous of the FAQ doing what Frank claimed to
do, what good is it to answer his questions? He'll probably miss the
answers anyway. -- Abigail
http://members.nbci.com/_______/index.html IQC 78189333
Joe Manfre
>I will never, ever take any job that requires me to wear either
>a necktie or a nametag. Or, especially, an orange polyester vest
>and purple clip-on bow tie. I've been Supermarket Bozo already.
>
> -- K.
>
> DID I MENTION THE WATERMELON STORY YET?
Hey, it was just a week ago that I wrote:
-> That's what the store *gets* for forcing Kibo to clean up the rotten
-> cottage cheese in the parking lot and unclog the disgusting toilets
-> while wearing an orange polyester vest and purple polyester clip-on
-> bow tie every day!
->
-> (The above is the oft-told Kibo story that I've been wanting to hear
-> again for a while now. Every time he retells his stories he remembers
-> a wacky detail he forgot to include the last time.)
C'mon, Kibo. Gimme what I need.
JM
--
"Sorry, Mr. Cox had nothing to do with this. I forgot to remove his
head." -- Satchi, in message <3ABD0317...@mindspring.com>
Darla VladsChyk
Parry) wrote:
>Me, I'm wearing a turtleneck toupee that covers my entire head,
>a propeller navel ring, computer-generated underpants, knee pads
>that look like skulls, a domino mask made from real dominoes,
>and seventeen roller skates with sixteen-seventeenths of a wheel
>apiece...
Oh K--- it's so LIKE you to do Atelier Versace for spring. You are so
FUN! Donatella sends kisses and wonders if you have mailed back the
glitter thong you borrowed in Milan.
>...if your office is like
>a normal office...
But K! I excaped from Corporate Merica, remember? I work in a home
cube now, like Tamari and Beable Doidy. And I never drink coffee. It
is to me what cheese is to you. And what is the Watermelon Story?
Also: Nice to hear from you!
-=D=-
"What you mean by the smell of bacon, I mean by the colour blue."
---Vlad
Kev In, Boyz Out
"Tamara" <tamara...@sprint.ca> wrote:
>3. A highly qualified executive couldn't stop scratching his nuts. We're
>talking -really- scratching his nuts!
See now this is why RMS will never get a job that doesn't involve
wildebeestseses. He presented a colloquium at my place of work, and
while it was informative and enjoyable, I for one was just a teensy bit
distracted by the constant combing-back-the-hair-with-the-fingers and
scratching of the juevos.
Oh yeah, barefoot, too.
Now, the folks who attend our collokqwheea tend toward jeans and
t-shirts emblazoned with nerd humor. Hell, some of the people who work
there don't even bother to capitalize their names. But even amongst us
there were murmurs.
Note: do not attempt this maneuver unless you are recognizable by your
initials.
--
-keV
Kev In, Boyz Out
ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote:
>I will never, ever take any job that requires me to wear either
>a necktie or a nametag.
Hah, I keep my photo-graphic indemnification badge safely in my pocket.
Anyone who wants to know if I really look like this is welcome to fish
around in there and pull it out. IYKWIM.
Now GET ON WITH THE WATERMELON STORY!
--
-Kev "AITYD" in
Mike Dahmus
wrote:
>In article <3acc06a1....@news.hfx.eastlink.ca>,
>Darla VladsChyk <Darl...@hfx.remove.eastlink.ca> wrote:
>>
>>This is a milestone in a man's life--- time to invest in a decent
>>"interview suit." There must be a Men's Wearhouse (tm) even in
>>Lincoln.
>
>One company says I shouldn't bother with a suit, just business-casual.
>What do I do?
Find a guy who works there who is about your size; kill him; take his
clothes. Problem solved for free; which leaves you more money to
invest in vacation-related underpants.
Mike Dahmus
http://www.io.com/~mdahmus/
Mike Dahmus
wrote:
>BUT... on the other hand... if the HR department actively TELLS you
>that you SHOULD NOT wear a suit, then expects you to wear one, well,
>that might imply that this is a company of sneaky lying bastards who
>play bizarre head games with people as standard operating procedure,
>and this might not be a company you want to work for. And maybe not
>wearing a suit is an effective way to find out that information.
This happened to me (one of the companies I interviewed at after
flipping Big Blue the Big Digit). I still have not achieved my
revenge; but I'm just biding my time.
Mike Dahmus
http://www.io.com/~mdahmus/
Mike Dahmus
wrote:
>I want to make a good impression and,
>unfortunately, in today's society, that is usually done by wearing clothing
>that is appropriate for the job at hand.
Yeah, if today is like TWENTY YEARS AGO. Or maybe RIGHT NOW IN CANADA,
but that's just because of the depressed exchange rate.
Even people in terminally bozotic fields like law and insurance are
going B-C most of the time here in lovely America these days.
Mike Dahmus
http://www.io.com/~mdahmus/
Glenn Knickerbocker
>3. A highly qualified executive couldn't stop scratching his nuts. We're
I think I worked for him. He died working late one night. Fucking
deserved it too.
ŹR | Anybody who disagrees with Mike is
http://www.bestweb.net/~notr | practically a Nazi. Cool. --LisaB
Radical Liberation
ki...@world.std.com wrote on 4/7/01 16:19:
> And also, if your office is like
> a normal office, the only food they allow you to have all day (unless
> you buy some food to eat AT WORK with YOUR OWN MONEY) is an unlimited
> supply of heavily over-caffeinated coffee, because they're not allowed
> to get their employees hooked on cocaine any more.
I often think about the Workplace of the Future, once we libertarians
have succeeded in ending the insane War on Drugs, (and you know it's only a
matter of time).
Instead of everyone gathered around the coffee pot in the morning,
they'd be sitting around a table with a mirror top in the break room,
snorting lines of coke...
"So, great game last night, eh? <SNORT>"
"I couldn't see it because the wife wanted 'quality time' last night.
<SNORT>"
I am
Radical Liberation.
(a very occasional but relatively ancient a.r.k contributor)
p.s. I have one co-worker that "chain-drinks" caffeine all day long. I
rarely see him without either a soda or a cup of joe. His hands shake he's
so juiced up. Sad.
p.p.s Anyone ever watch The Prisoner? I just rented the first episode
today... Truly bizarre and interesting "sci-fi" stuff.
David DeLaney
>But seriously, that is exactly the sort of attitude I object to. Do
>you think you could possible tell the difference in the code I
>produce while wearing a suit (sweat or three piece) or wearing what I am now?
Well, you could tell for me? Because the code I'd produce whilst wearing a
suit? Would be all icky and stuff because "I'm wearing a suit, bleah" would
be running through my brane the entire time? And I wouldn't be wearing a tie
with it because I refuse on philosophical grounds? (Bowties are okay? But
only if you're actually on-stage -and- wearing a tuxedo under it? Preferably
with shiny red-glitter cummerbund?)
>[1] Does EMACS have the Buddha nature?
Let me guess: control-escape-MU?
Dave
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://panacea.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ/ I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
David DeLaney
>But in Tam's world--- as in my previous world--- employees who are
>required to interact with customers in various venues that have
>various codes of dress and conduct, and whose appearance--- like it or
>not--- is part and parcel of the impression those customers get of the
>company for which the employee works, have to dress the part. Man,
>that was a long and unweildy sentence. I think I hurt myself.
The silly thing, though? Is that they apply those standards, the -same-
standards, for employess whose only interaction -ever- with customers?
Will be over a phone line? And since we don't have PicturePhone as standard
yet in 2001, they -can't see what you're wearing- (or, as they remind me,
what you're typing)? But still you need to be business-casual because
"it promotes a business atmosphere"? Lady (not you, OldLady, the generic
lady who's spouting this line whilst dressed to the sevens with about a
half-inch of makeup and hairspray _and_ Art Nouveau earrings), what promotes
a business atmosphere is that we're sitting in front of a computer screen,
in cubicles (actually we get demicubicles that fit two people each but never
mind), with earphone contraptions on our heads, and we're doing -Business-
over the phone? _That_ makes it a business atmosphere - not what we are,
or aren't, wearing.
Oh, and the carefully imposed fiction that "we have people from another part
of the company coming in, so everyone has to dress in business professional
on Thursday"? Do those people, like, live in isolation boxes in this other
part of the company, or what?
Dave "if the manager can't stand to see people who aren't dressed just like
him/her, maybe the manager needs to be replaced by another manager who can
actually concentrate on doing his/her job instead of on how his/her
subordinates are/aren't dressed?" DeLaney
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > I will never, ever take any job that requires me to wear either
> > a necktie or a nametag. Or, especially, an orange polyester vest
> > and purple clip-on bow tie. I've been Supermarket Bozo already.
> >
>
> Hey, it was just a week ago that I wrote:
>
> -> That's what the store *gets* for forcing Kibo to clean up the rotten
> -> cottage cheese in the parking lot and unclog the disgusting toilets
> -> while wearing an orange polyester vest and purple polyester clip-on
> -> bow tie every day!
> ->
> -> (The above is the oft-told Kibo story that I've been wanting to hear
> -> again for a while now. Every time he retells his stories he remembers
> -> a wacky detail he forgot to include the last time.)
>
> C'mon, Kibo. Gimme what I need.
Sorry, I missed your request because I forgot to use the Internet that week.
And now that I'm remembering the Internet, I'm remembering the important
detail that the Internet is full of wackos, and one of you wacky wackos
is probably wackatocious enough that you would get turned on by the
mental image of me dressed as a Supermarket Clown standing in a mound
of cottage cheese being told by my manager that from now on I should
shave EVERY day, so I won't mention that again because I don't want to
turn you sickos on without a sizable increase in the subscription fees
to my newsgroup. And how many of you would be willing to pay twice
what you're paying now just so you can fantasize about me in a bow tie?
So forget the Watermelon Story -- let's just say that I have never eaten
cheese for my entire life, but after working in the supermarket, I vowed
to never again be in the same room as a watermelon, and I am glad that
job didn't last long because otherwise after a few more months I would
be unable to eat any sort of over-the-counter food products -- and let
me remember a wacky detail from some other story I told last week.
Remember how I described the scary Jell-O commercial in which the little
girl finds raw Jell-O lumps lying on the ground, inhales a butterfly,
vomits butterflies made of Jell-O and then ascends into the sky trapped
inside a bubble of blood-colored Jell-O?
Well, I saw that commercial several more times today, and I have these
new details for you:
1.) When the girl is trapped in the bubble, her legs seem to be
amputated until the bubble explodes. Then her legs reappear.
It is unclear whether her legs are simply cut off by her
Bounding Bubble or whether the curved inside of it causes
her legs to simply be bent upwards behind her. She could,
indeed, merely have her legs tucked up her butt crack.
But it sure looks like her body is truncated by the scary
special effect.
2.) The commercial's voiceover sounds like Angela Lansbury on Quaaludes.
At the end, she says "Jell-O always breaks the mold!"
I don't know about you, but if I were making a commercial depicting
Our Product as gobs of goop found growing on the ground, I would
avoid using the word "mold". (Jell-O is my favorite form of lichen.)
-- K.
"Eat Jell-O and feel all fuzzy inside!"
James Kibo Parry
>
> [...] I never drink coffee. It is to me what cheese is to you.
> And what is the Watermelon Story?
I never drink coffee, but coffee could not possibly be to you what
cheese is to me. Coffee is in that big part of the Venn Diagram
labelled "THINGS I DO NOT CARE TO EAT." Cheese is in a little dot
by itself several miles to the west of the rest of the Venn Diagram,
labelled, "THINGS THAT MAKE MY BODY EXPLODE EVEN IF I JUST IMAGINE
THE TASTE, EWW, CHEESE. GET THIS OFF MY VENN DIAGRAM NOW."
You know how your local supermarket has that sign in the front window
saying "DANGER! This supermarket carries both kosher and non-kosher foods!"
because people who are really kosher do not want to be in the same room
with delicious tasty bacon? Well, I want someone to open a supermarket
that sells everything but cheese so that I will not live in perpetual
fear of accidentally looking at the cheese on the shelves. I mean,
cheese looks gross. It's like butter mixed with vinyl. It's ghee plus goo.
And speaking of cheeseless ethnic foods:
Tina's Inc. has just recalled all the Tina's Burritos in the world
because they forgot to write on the labels, "NOW WITH AMMONIA!"
when they switched to their new formula to produce burritos that
can clean windows. Apparently some toxic chemicals just happened
to wander into the burritos. Fortunately, I don't usually buy
Tina's crappy little burritos. If you are unfamiliar with Tina's,
they are one of two or three brands of really cheap tiny microwavable
burritos available in single servings at your local supermarket.
You know, the kind which are 33c each or on special occasions they
are actually available in multi-packs of 8 for $1.99. (It takes
three of these to make a serving.) They are almost all wrapper,
and inside that plastic wrapper they are still almost all wrapper,
and inside the squishy flour wrapper there is a tiny shmear of
textureless textured soybean protein which pretends to be meat and/or
beans. They come in these flavors: "EXTRA-MILD beef & bean",
"EXTRA-SPICY beef & bean", and "EXTRA-BEAN bean & bean", all
of which taste like nothing. (They also have a cheese flavor,
which I've never had, and a chicken flavor, which Scott Ramming
claims tastes like bleu cheese, probably because he is confused
by the blue wrapper which makes me think of raspberries, not
moldy cheese.)
But the odd thing about frozen burritos is that the worse the store
is, the better their burritos are. Take a look in your local
supermarket and they will have Tina's and Las Campanas and so on,
at a price of less than 50c per burrito. Now go down the road to
the convenience store and they will have bigger, better ones that
cost two bucks and contain actual strips of sliced meat and stuff.
The same is true of your local gas station. For reasons science
cannot explain, only stinky little stores have good refrigerated
burritos. (At the gas station or convenience store, they are usually
in the fridge, while the supermarket keeps them in the freezer
because they're so lame that nobody ever buys them and they would
rot if they left them out in the ocean the way the gas station does.)
There is a veritable smorgasbord of foods which are in the
"gas station" but not "supermarket" circles on my Venn diagram.
For instance, many weird flavors of sugar beverages. Trail's Best
jerky contained inside a pouch filled with "no drip" hot sauce.
Fake Slim Jims made from ostrich meat. I do not have a name for
this category of food which is sold only at places that aren't
real supermarkets, but in general I like it.
-- K.
Pop Nots being the exception that
proves my rule.
Recent additions to my collection,
which I haven't yet tried:
Bubble gum shaped like Oscar Mayer
baloney slices.
Fake Reese's Peanut Butter Cups with
a fake Oreo glued to the top of each one.
James Kibo Parry
>
> He was holding a fake-wood and engraved acrylic contraption
> in one hand and a cord in the other.
>
> "Do you have an electrical outlet handy?" he asked, "I want to plug in
> my G.E. Illuminated SalesMan Award and show you how it lights up!"
>
> Needless to say, he didn't get the job.
Did you at least hand him a large neon sign which said "You're a bozo!"
when you told him to get lost? Or did you just smirk and ask whether
they mailed it to him before or after their fired him?
Being a job interviewer must be a fun job because you can play all
the same sorts of mind games as psychiatrists (shake head while
making notes on a clipboard, then stare at them a while to see
if you can make them recross their legs by not blinking, then
exchange knowing looks with Detective Gannon) but without the
overhead of having to actually listen to people talking about
their sad sex lifes, or lack thereof.
Or do some of them do that in job interviews? "Please give me this
job so that chicks will dig me. Will you help me get laid? Also,
this is not a clip-on!"
-- K.
Do any of them try to show you
their vacation slides?
Fantod
>I don't have much of a choice. I recruit for the Insurance Industry -- one
>of the biggest Boys' Schools around.
Also a collosal scam, IMHO.
>[]
>How can I possibly test the skills of a Commercial Lines Underwriter or a
>Senior Business Analyst?
Ask them if they proactive in their paradigms. If they profess to know what
you are talking about, they are perfect for middle management.
>[story, a second first impression.]
But then it true, as I said, that the earring wearing guy was acceptable only
as long as he was willing/able to demonstrate that he could follow common
rules. This is the same as a secret handshake, or pronouncing "shibboleth" in
the approved manner. You might explain this to your people, in the manner of
a revealing of occult knowledge. It might give you a leg up on the recruiters
who only say "look nice".
Reminds of a story, in which a mad scientist is trying to force-evolve an
alien species. He takes them out in field and puts a pebble and grass
handcuffs on each, explaining that the pebble has the force of a bolder. If
they get it, they stay there, symbolically restrained. If they don't, they
leave and get clubbed to death.
If I ever become a dictator, that is how I would run my prisons.
--
Patrick Phelan
w____\\W//___w Te Hupenui
"Ronald Wilson Reagan" is "Insane Anglo Warlord"
http://copeland.choicelogic.com/~phelan/
Fantod
>Even people in terminally bozotic fields like law and insurance are
>going B-C most of the time here in lovely America these days.
That reminds me: when paying visits to clients, the Boss wears a suit, and I
generally have a tie on. Nothing screams "I AM VENDOR! ABUSE ME!" more than
walking into an office building wearing a suit.
I do my best to look like an intern assigned to the vendor.
--
Patrick Phelan
w____\\W//___w Te Hupenui
I kill you filthy
http://copeland.choicelogic.com/~phelan/
Darla VladsChyk
Parry) wrote:
>Tamara (tamara...@sprint.ca) wrote:
Actually, that one was mine.
>> One of my faves: A guy came in to interview for an account
>> exec (sales) position, [...]
>Did you at least hand him a large neon sign which said "You're a bozo!"
>when you told him to get lost? Or did you just smirk and ask whether
>they mailed it to him before or after their fired him?
I had to fight very hard to keep a straight face so as to be said to
have conducted an appropriate interview.
However, I released some of my pent-up hysteria by making "notes" on
my "notepad" for my giggling "assistants" to enjoy later that same
day.
>Being a job interviewer must be a fun job ...
Actually, interviewing people for jobs in my office was my least
favourite part of *my* job. No, that's not true. Dealing with Jimmy
"Rat-Boy" Baral, who once sent me a memo that read, in part, "Remember
Darla, your results don't matter here--- you've got to do these things
MY way! MY way gets the *right* results." was my least favourite part.
>Or do some of them do that in job interviews? "Please give me this
>job so that chicks will dig me. Will you help me get laid? Also,
>this is not a clip-on!"
> Do any of them try to show you
> their vacation slides?
One young guy, fresh out of college and with no office work
experience, handed me (in lieu of a resume) a self-published cookie
recipe book he and his brother had written. It was a compliation of
all his family's favourite cookie recipes, some from three generations
back. I hired him--- but I made him bake me some of the freaking
cookies. Heh!
And believe it or not, we're still friends today--- even though I know
he used to flip me off in the Xerox room whenever I gave him a job he
didn't want to do!
-=Darla=-
Ted Frank
California), I lived off of them in college. The red-hot-beef burritos
were particularly good, but then they changed the recipe to be "NO LARD,"
and made the "Tina's" logo more girly and replaced half the beef with a
lot of beans that meant that burrito was really a beef-and-bean burrito,
and not a beef burrito. As I do not like beans, this made the burrito
inedible, and I still miss the old Tina's burritos.
Fortunately, I live in a city with Del Taco.
--
"Remember: if you give a hungry man a fish, he'll be fed for a day. But
if you set him on fire, you can keep yourself warm for *hours*!"
-- David Pacheco
Andrew Pearson
>
> On Sat, 7 Apr 2001 21:19:43 GMT, ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo"
> Parry) wrote:
>
> >Me, I'm wearing a turtleneck toupee that covers my entire head,
> >a propeller navel ring, computer-generated underpants, knee pads
> >that look like skulls, a domino mask made from real dominoes,
> >and seventeen roller skates with sixteen-seventeenths of a wheel
> >apiece...
>
> Oh K--- it's so LIKE you to do Atelier Versace for spring. You are so
> FUN! Donatella sends kisses and wonders if you have mailed back the
> glitter thong you borrowed in Milan.
>
As it so happens I was in Milan for fashion week - ("for" in the
sense of "at the same time as but in no way connected to") this
year. The streets were full of really hilarious people scurrying
to the shows and the hotel was full of models (people who wear
clothes for a living, not inanimate plastic representations of
larger objects). I had taken care to wear a charcoal grey "Daks"
suit imaginatively teamed with a white shirt, some creases and a
dark grey tie.
I'm pretty sure they would have been impressed by the style if
they'd noticed me. They were all distracted by a tall
fifty-something guy in reception - well preserved, very tanned,
white-blond hair. He was wearing a suit - although he'd forgotten
to put a tie on or even to turn the shirt collar down (the collar
was just sticking up out of his suit jacket). What a silly fellow
I thought, but it seemed to have impressed 6 or 7 gurl fashion
models who were all standing around looking up at him.
I think that he must work in one of the big life insurance
companies.
--
So Archimedes Plutonium is tied to a stake in the backyard, and
sleeping in his kennel. Kibo tiptoes up (carrying a dustbin lid)
and measures the length of the chain Arch is tied to, then marks
a radius on the ground...
Darla VladsChyk
>Fortunately, I live in a city with Del Taco.
If you're still in LA, you live in a city with Fat Burger. Why would
you need to go anywhere else, ever?
-=Darla=-
(Well maybe to Pink's once in a while, for variety)
Joe Manfre
>But the odd thing about frozen burritos is that the worse the store
>is, the better their burritos are.
Say now, I was just thinking of mentioning this myself. Now that you
and I have both observed the same observation, I think that it needs
to be added to the Encyclopedia of Kibology, if anyone ever decides to
get together an Encyclopedia of Kibology.
>Take a look in your local supermarket and they will have Tina's and
>Las Campanas and so on, at a price of less than 50c per burrito. Now
>go down the road to the convenience store and they will have bigger,
>better ones that cost two bucks and contain actual strips of sliced
>meat and stuff. The same is true of your local gas station. For
>reasons science cannot explain, only stinky little stores have good
>refrigerated burritos.
What is that one brand of burritos that they have at 7-Eleven in the
color-coded plastic pouches that are actually printed with the number
you're supposed to press on 7-Eleven's preprogrammed microwave oven?
You know, the brown package is the beef burrito, and the red package
is the "spicy" beef burrito, and the blue package is the bean-and-
cheese burrito, and I think the green package contains a burrito with
green chiles in it or something. These burritos come in two sizes.
Those are actually the lower quality of burrito at 7-Eleven, though;
the higher-quality ones are in those weird wrappers that feel like
paper on the outside and plastic on the inside.
Some 7-Elevens also have that brand of creme soda that comes in both
"Red Creme Soda" and "Blue Creme Soda" varieties, which taste exactly
the same, but I investigated the ingredients label once and saw that
one of the two colors has caffeine. I wish I were capable of
remembering brand names; then, I would tell you what the brand names
are.
And then there's 7-Eleven's little package of two hard-boiled eggs and
two little packets of salt.
>(At the gas station or convenience store, they are usually in the
>fridge, while the supermarket keeps them in the freezer because
>they're so lame that nobody ever buys them and they would rot if they
>left them out in the ocean the way the gas station does.)
Not only that, but at 7-Eleven they're often in the open refrigerated
case with the screen of cold air blowing down the front to keep the
warm air of the store away from the precious burritos.
>There is a veritable smorgasbord of foods which are in the "gas
>station" but not "supermarket" circles on my Venn diagram. For
>instance, many weird flavors of sugar beverages. Trail's Best jerky
>contained inside a pouch filled with "no drip" hot sauce. Fake Slim
>Jims made from ostrich meat.
This one liquor store located way out in the redneck-y part of
Maryland east of Baltimore is the only place where I've ever seen that
ultra-spicy Ted Nugent-brand beef jerky that's the best thing in the
world. Its package is all coated on the inside with hot sauce too.
>I do not have a name for this category of food which is sold only at
>places that aren't real supermarkets, but in general I like it.
Maybe we could take a page from "Off-Off-Broadway" and call this
off-off-brand.
I really need to start a new Encyclopedia of Kibology just so I can
write the entry about gas station/convenience store food. (Kibo can
help write it if he wants, if he's not too busy having a job and stuff
to bother writing about weird food anymore.)
Dag Right-square-bracket-gren
> Fantod <fan...@geocities.com> wrote:
>>But seriously, that is exactly the sort of attitude I object to. Do
>>you think you could possible tell the difference in the code I
>>produce while wearing a suit (sweat or three piece) or wearing what I am now?
> Well, you could tell for me? Because the code I'd produce whilst wearing a
> suit? Would be all icky and stuff because "I'm wearing a suit, bleah" would
> be running through my brane the entire time? And I wouldn't be wearing a tie
> with it because I refuse on philosophical grounds?
I refuse to even wear a suit, on philosophical grounds. Mainly because the
general opinion that a suit makes you somehow look good.
A SUIT DOES NOT MAKE YOU LOOK GOOD. YOU ONLY THINK SO BECAUSE SOCIETY HAS
CONDITIONED YOU TO THINK SO. THERE IS NOTHING SPECIAL ABOUT A SUIT, EXCEPT
THE SOCIAL CONDITIONING PART.
Thank you.
--
Dag Agren <> d...@c3.cx <> http://www.abo.fi/~dagren/ <> Legalize oregano
"Napster is such a Hippie idea -- an electronic commune.
Cellphones and portable MP3 players are the bongs and
lovebeads of the new millenium." - E Teflon Piano
Ben Allard
<3ad0c8ad$0$1...@news.impulse.net>:
I think there's something wrong with your spellchecker, Mr. ]gren. Lemme
fix your post:
>[Eating live fetae] DOES NOT MAKE YOU [evil]. YOU ONLY THINK SO BECAUSE
>SOCIETY HAS CONDITIONED YOU TO THINK SO. THERE IS NOTHING SPECIAL ABOUT
>[devouring unborn flesh], EXCEPT THE SOCIAL CONDITIONING PART.
>
>Thank you.
>
HTH!
--ben
Glenn Knickerbocker
>p.p.s Anyone ever watch The Prisoner? I just rented the first episode
>today... Truly bizarre and interesting "sci-fi" stuff.
No, nobody ever watched it. The security classification was way too high.
ŹR The anti-suffragists will continue to be eligible, won't they?
http://www.bestweb.net/~notr/engel.html --Ida Husted Harper
Crgre Jvyyneq
03:39:09 GMT]
>On Sat, 07 Apr 2001 22:54:20 -0500, Radical Liberation wrote:
>>p.p.s Anyone ever watch The Prisoner? I just rented the
>>first episode today... Truly bizarre and interesting
>>"sci-fi" stuff.
>
>No, nobody ever watched it. The security classification was
>way too high.
:::Hops off pennyfarthing bicycle which somehow keeps on
pedaling itself:::
Be seeing you!
--
CRGRE
"You might say we're cosmically retarded,"
Stanton Friedman
"In short, what should be taken literally, and what
slipperily?" DRH
James Kibo Parry
>
> Back when Tina's burritos were four for a dollar (as they sometimes are in
> California), I lived off of them in college. The red-hot-beef burritos
> were particularly good, but then they changed the recipe to be "NO LARD,"
> and made the "Tina's" logo more girly and replaced half the beef with a
> lot of beans that meant that burrito was really a beef-and-bean burrito,
> and not a beef burrito. As I do not like beans, this made the burrito
> inedible, and I still miss the old Tina's burritos.
Lard is better than beans any day. I wish they could grow a kind of
bean which was filled with a creamy lard center and then everyone would
be happy. Especially that fish drawn on the outside of the pouch that
the glittery purple plastic worms come in. The fish is shouting
"YUM! HOG LARD!" as it swallows a glittery purple plastic worm,
because everyone knows that wild fish normally live off a diet of
pigs and purple sparkly things.
Also, is there anyone here who believes that "Tina" is a real person
and not just a big machine? And wouldn't that machine still be
contaminated from making the Lardo candy in the olden days?
-- K.
At the kosher grocery store, they
have chicken-and-rice filled burritos
which say they are "ARTISAN MADE",
presumably by the greatest artistic
geniuses ever to fold pieces of
dough up like a diaper.
James Kibo Parry
>
> What is that one brand of burritos that they have at 7-Eleven in the
> color-coded plastic pouches that are actually printed with the number
> you're supposed to press on 7-Eleven's preprogrammed microwave oven?
> You know, the brown package is the beef burrito, and the red package
> is the "spicy" beef burrito, and the blue package is the bean-and-
> cheese burrito, and I think the green package contains a burrito with
> green chiles in it or something. These burritos come in two sizes.
> Those are actually the lower quality of burrito at 7-Eleven, though;
> the higher-quality ones are in those weird wrappers that feel like
> paper on the outside and plastic on the inside.
7-Eleven and other convenience stores sell lots of food which is
only cookable in their special idiot-proof over-powered 1400 watt
microwaves. My theory is that the reason they can't sell these
in supermarkets is that they would be ruined if you attempted to
cook them in a normal microwave oven that had more than two buttons
("BURRITO" and "MEAL".)
They had one of those industrial-grade microwaves in the first college
dorm I stayed in, and I rendered lots of frozen food inedible by trying
to follow the directions on the package in this double-wattage monster.
If the chicken croquettes were supposed to cook 7 minutes at 100%
power, I eventually figured out that they had to cook for 3.5 minutes
at 50% power -- basically, the thing put out about four times as much
deadly radiation as a normal human's microwave oven.
> Some 7-Elevens also have that brand of creme soda that comes in both
> "Red Creme Soda" and "Blue Creme Soda" varieties, which taste exactly
> the same, but I investigated the ingredients label once and saw that
> one of the two colors has caffeine. I wish I were capable of
> remembering brand names; then, I would tell you what the brand names are.
Cream soda tends to be red in the western part of the country and
brown in the eastern part, despite the fact that it never tastes like
cream (or even like an egg cream, which doesn't taste like egg) and
is usually just artificial simulated fake vanillin.
> And then there's 7-Eleven's little package of two hard-boiled eggs and
> two little packets of salt.
Don't forget Pickle In A Pouch!
And the 7-Eleven brand blue Slurpee gum (the gum that goes "squirt",
or in this case the gum that makes you go "ow, I cut my cheek, this
gum expired last year") and of course the El Taco and the exciting new
Yahoo Web Portal Brand Grape Slurpees.
> I really need to start a new Encyclopedia of Kibology just so I can
> write the entry about gas station/convenience store food. (Kibo can
> help write it if he wants, if he's not too busy having a job and stuff
> to bother writing about weird food anymore.)
Go for it.
I have a lot of weird food reviews (several dozen) I need to post on
my site sometime; The reviews are all written and stuff but I need
to organize all my files and find all the pictures that go with them,
and scan lots of additional box art and stuff.
-- K.
And LOTS of photos of stupid
cones from cities throughout
the NAFTA sphere of influence.
Dag Right-square-bracket-gren
> And LOTS of photos of stupid
> cones from cities throughout
> the NAFTA sphere of influence.
Hey, BBC World's "Top Gear" ran this story on cones the other day: Did you
know that:
* Cones have a life expectancy of 6 weeks?
* One night, 1000 cones were stolen from a Brittish highway?
* You can get custom cones made for your wedding?
* In Britain, they are developing an ENTIRELY NEW TYPE OF CONE made
of POTATOES? So that it's EDIBLE to WILDLIFE?
IANM any of TU.
Luke Breinig
(James "Kibo" Parry) says...
> > Some 7-Elevens also have that brand of creme soda that comes in both
> > "Red Creme Soda" and "Blue Creme Soda" varieties, which taste exactly
> > the same,
[snip]
> Cream soda tends to be red in the western part of the country and
> brown in the eastern part, despite the fact that it never tastes like
> cream (or even like an egg cream, which doesn't taste like egg) and
> is usually just artificial simulated fake vanillin.
Here in the middle of the country we have BOTH brown AND red cream soda.
My observation is that they taste nothing alike. Brown cream soda is at
least tolerable, while red cream soda is, I believe, the most foul
substance known to man. All the red cream soda I've ever tasted tastes
like a combination of penicillin, artificial bubble gum flavor, and
vomit. So, does blue cream soda taste like red cream soda or brown?
Also, there's a restaurant in Columbus (NE not OH) that makes its own
microbrew rootbeer and cream sodas. The cream soda is made with real
vanilla extract, and it actually crosses the line from merely tolerable
to somewhat tasty. The color is, IIRC, midway between that of
traditional "red" and "brown" cream sodas; sort of like pale Dr. Pepper.
--
+-----------------------------------------------------------+
| Luke Breinig - www.lukebreinig.com - LIBARTAREAN D00D |
|Amiga 500/1000/3000 - PII/300 - Mac IIsi- Apple IIgs - C=64|
|"Has this hapened too yuo before? PROBABLY! BECAUSE |
| MANEY OF YUO USE AOL AND MSN AND MICORSOFT SI FOR |
| FAGOTS!" - JeffK |
|(This .sig is more than 4 lines in protest of 4 line .sigs)|
+-----------------------------------------------------------+
Joe Manfre
>In article <kibo-09040...@ppp0b148.std.com>, ki...@world.std.com
>(James "Kibo" Parry) says...
>>[Joe Manfre wrote:]
>
>>> Some 7-Elevens also have that brand of creme soda that comes in both
>>> "Red Creme Soda" and "Blue Creme Soda" varieties, which taste exactly
>>> the same,
>
>[snip]
>
>> Cream soda tends to be red in the western part of the country and
>> brown in the eastern part, despite the fact that it never tastes like
>> cream (or even like an egg cream, which doesn't taste like egg) and
>> is usually just artificial simulated fake vanillin.
>
>Here in the middle of the country we have BOTH brown AND red cream soda.
>My observation is that they taste nothing alike.
Agreed. And you can get red cream soda around here, if you go to the
appropriately dinky lousy stores. (Around Baltimore, the local
convenience-store chain Royal Farm Stores sells a brand of red cream
soda in humongous three-liter bottles. The brand is called "Top Pop",
I think. Write to E Teflon Piano if you want him to pick you up some,
Kibo.)
The brown cream soda seems to be sold under real brand names like
A&W, and in fact the A&W cream-soda and root-beer bottles look so
much alike that I sometimes stumble down to the Super X-Pensive
Convenience Mart downstairs in my apartment building and accidentally
grab a bottle of foul-tasting cream soda instead of the marginally
less foul-tasting root beer that I intended to get.
>Brown cream soda is at
>least tolerable, while red cream soda is, I believe, the most foul
>substance known to man. All the red cream soda I've ever tasted tastes
>like a combination of penicillin, artificial bubble gum flavor, and
>vomit.
Yes, isn't it wonderful? It's at least half of 7-Eleven experience,
distilled down to a single drink. The blue cream soda is exactly
the same, except with caffeine. The 7-Eleven on Toms Creek Road in
Blacksburg, Virginia, sells the red and blue right next to each other,
or at least it did back when I was a student at Virginia Tech.
JM
--
Joe Manfre, Hyattsville, Maryland.
Joseph Michael Bay
>I don't know about you, but if I were making a commercial depicting
>Our Product as gobs of goop found growing on the ground, I would
>avoid using the word "mold". (Jell-O is my favorite form of lichen.)
> -- K.
> "Eat Jell-O and feel all fuzzy inside!"
My, that was a yummy slime mold!
(A quote from my operating system)
--
Joe Bay FLX NAV VEH CHO
Cancer Biology NUC MEM ATM OIE
Leland Stanford Junior University LIF CNT PAK UNF
"I will defend to the death your right to attribute it to Voltaire"-Churchill
Joseph Michael Bay
>Darla VladsChyk (Darl...@hfx.remove.eastlink.ca) wrote:
>>
>> [...] I never drink coffee. It is to me what cheese is to you.
>> And what is the Watermelon Story?
>I never drink coffee, but coffee could not possibly be to you what
>cheese is to me. Coffee is in that big part of the Venn Diagram
>labelled "THINGS I DO NOT CARE TO EAT."
See, here's your problem. If you're *eating* it, it's far too strong.
>The same is true of your local gas station. For reasons science
>cannot explain, only stinky little stores have good refrigerated
>burritos.
There's something there. "Stinky", "gas", and "burritos". But
I just can't quite construct the proper phrasing.
E Teflon Piano
<man...@flash.net> wrote:
}Luke Breinig (lbre...@alltel.net) wrote:
}
}>In article <kibo-09040...@ppp0b148.std.com>, ki...@world.std.com
}>(James "Kibo" Parry) says...
}
}>>[Joe Manfre wrote:]
}>
}>>> Some 7-Elevens also have that brand of creme soda that comes in both
}>>> "Red Creme Soda" and "Blue Creme Soda" varieties, which taste exactly
}>>> the same,
}>
}>[snip]
}>
}>> Cream soda tends to be red in the western part of the country and
}>> brown in the eastern part, despite the fact that it never tastes like
}>> cream (or even like an egg cream, which doesn't taste like egg) and
}>> is usually just artificial simulated fake vanillin.
}>
}>Here in the middle of the country we have BOTH brown AND red cream soda.
}>My observation is that they taste nothing alike.
}
}Agreed. And you can get red cream soda around here, if you go to the
}appropriately dinky lousy stores. (Around Baltimore, the local
}convenience-store chain Royal Farm Stores sells a brand of red cream
}soda in humongous three-liter bottles. The brand is called "Top Pop",
}I think. Write to E Teflon Piano if you want him to pick you up some,
}Kibo.)
I'm gonna want danger money just to park in the lot of a Royal Farm
Store because the chain apparently is No. 1 with a bullet on the
Awkward, Jittery Holdup Man circuit. I make it a policy never to visit
places that have either a bouncer, like Beast Buy and CompUselessA or a
lineup-grid along the doorframe, like convenience stores.
--
Institute for Misapplied Psychometry fellow E Teflon Piano is founder of the
Internet 'Lectronic Legal Society. Teflon is a mark owned by duPont. E is E
poly(TFE) Piano Enterprises' [dibs] for ironic hyperbole and elitist satire.
ŠE[dibs] 1994-2001
Beable van Polasm
> ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) writes:
> > "Eat Jell-O and feel all fuzzy inside!"
>
> My, that was a yummy slime mold!
>
> (A quote from my operating system)
PRETENDING TO NOT KNOW WHAT NETHACK IS! PL0NK!
cheers
Beable van Polasm
--
A wise lobster knows the power of its own claws -- Doctor Yes
IQC 78189333
http://members.nbci.com/_______/index.html
Beable van Polasm
> Hey, BBC World's "Top Gear" ran this story on cones the other day: Did you
> know that:
>
> * Cones have a life expectancy of 6 weeks?
HOW COULD ONE SO BEAUTIFUL DIE SO YOUNG???
> * In Britain, they are developing an ENTIRELY NEW TYPE OF CONE made
> of POTATOES? So that it's EDIBLE to WILDLIFE?
So they put all the edible potato cones out on the highway, and
then all the deer, badgers, platypuses, bisons, simonclarks, and
kangaroos swarm onto the highway to eat them. BRILLIANT!
cheers
Beable van Polasm
--
You are just a notorious net-kook. -- Bill Palmer
IQC 78189333
http://members.nbci.com/_______/index.html
Ben Wolfson
van Polasm" <bea...@my-deja.com> wrote:
> jm...@Stanford.EDU (Joseph Michael Bay) writes:
>> ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) writes:
>> > "Eat Jell-O and feel all fuzzy inside!"
>>
>> My, that was a yummy slime mold!
>>
>> (A quote from my operating system)
>
> PRETENDING TO NOT KNOW WHAT NETHACK IS! PL0NK!
SPLTI INFINITIVE!!! PRONK!!!
--
Barnabas T. Rumjuggler
The women come and go,
Speaking of the Regis Philbin Show
-- Joe Frank
Joseph Michael Bay
>jm...@Stanford.EDU (Joseph Michael Bay) writes:
>> ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) writes:
>> > "Eat Jell-O and feel all fuzzy inside!"
>>
>> My, that was a yummy slime mold!
>>
>> (A quote from my operating system)
>PRETENDING TO NOT KNOW WHAT NETHACK IS! PL0NK!
Yes Beable.
PL0NKY McPL0NKENSTEIN!
Joseph Michael Bay
>>> My, that was a yummy slime mold!
>>>
>>> (A quote from my operating system)
>>
>> PRETENDING TO NOT KNOW WHAT NETHACK IS! PL0NK!
>SPLTI INFINITIVE!!! PRONK!!!
BEING A LINGUISTIC PRESCRIPTIVIST!!!1 TO PLONK OR TO NOT PLONK!!!!
Matt McIrvin
Radical Liberation <RadicalL...@mac.com> wrote:
>
>p.p.s Anyone ever watch The Prisoner? I just rented the first episode
>today... Truly bizarre and interesting "sci-fi" stuff.
No, I never heard of "The Prisoner"! Here, have some "Space: 1999" instead!
http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/kibology/space.html
This very old repurposed a.r.k post is actually listed on some Web
pages devoted to Space: 1999 fanfic, and a few times a year I get
e-mail from people congratulating me on my fascinating yet humorous
take on Moonbase Alpha. If they're big science fiction TV geeks, they
get REALLY excited about the ending. It's not just fanfic, it's
CROSSOVER fanfic!
James Kibo Parry
>
> Dag Right-square-bracket-gren (d...@c3.cx) wrote:
> >
> > Hey, BBC World's "Top Gear" ran this story on cones the other day:
> > Did you know that:
> >
> > of POTATOES? So that it's EDIBLE to WILDLIFE?
>
> then all the deer, badgers, platypuses, bisons, simonclarks, and
> kangaroos swarm onto the highway to eat them. BRILLIANT!
And Irishmen.
They'll get squished by cars while they're shouting "SOYLENT CONES ARE
MADE OUT OF TATERS!!!" and then the British will take over Ireland so
that they can get all the Lucky Charms (Ireland's most precious natural
resource.)
Here in the U.S., we just have globs of blue Jell-O growing everywhere.
-- K.
To make a sign which says "SLOW CHILDREN"
and which also confuses slow children,
I am developing a cone filled with ice cream!
Christopher Adams
>
> SPLTI INFINITIVE!!! PRONK!!!
IGNORING THE OXOFRD CHANGE TO THE RUEL ABOUT SPLIT INFINITIVES!!!
PLO0O0O0O00O0O0O0O0O00O0O0O00O0O000000OOOOOOOOO0000000NK!!!!!11!
--
Chris "The Tramp" Adams
I am the way of all flesh.
"Lion King? Abolutely. Soundtrack? Yes."
XEAUIK EREF EM-NEMMET
Your Procreative Organ Is Next
Upon The Sacrificial Altar.
Xcott Craver
>"Ben Wolfson" <wol...@uchicago.edu> writes:
>>>
>>> PRETENDING TO NOT KNOW WHAT NETHACK IS! PL0NK!
>
>>SPLTI INFINITIVE!!! PRONK!!!
>
>BEING A LINGUISTIC PRESCRIPTIVIST!!!1 TO PLONK OR TO NOT PLONK!!!!
MAKE UP YOUR MINDE!u BWANG!!!
-S
Daniel Buettner
> [Lleah, alt.religion.kibology, Sat, 07 Apr 2001 16:50:17 GMT]
>
>>
>>Actually, probably not.
>>I think I know which company said that, and in this case,
>>they're telling the truth.
>>I suggest nice trousers, a startched shirt, and a snazzy
>>sweater.
>
> See how confusing this "casual" thing is? They'll call you
> "sweaterman" if you wear a sweater.
In addition to the fact that they look funny, I can't wear
sweaters because even standing at the south pole, it would
still be too warm for a sweater.
--
~
~
~
"Daniel Buettner" line 4 of 4 --100%--
Sean Neakums
JP> They'll get squished by cars while they're shouting "SOYLENT
JP> CONES ARE MADE OUT OF TATERS!!!" and then the British will
JP> take over Ireland so that they can get all the Lucky Charms
JP> (Ireland's most precious natural resource.)
Ireland's most precious natural resource is in fact the Fountain of
Schmaltz that made such wonderful films as The Quiet Man, Darby O'Gill
and The Little People and My Left Foot possible.
--
No Lucky Charms were harmed in the making of this post.
David Pacheco
fan...@geocities.com said:
> Reminds of a story, in which a mad scientist is trying to force-evolve an
> alien species. He takes them out in field and puts a pebble and grass
> handcuffs on each, explaining that the pebble has the force of a bolder. If
> they get it, they stay there, symbolically restrained. If they don't, they
> leave and get clubbed to death.
And the moral of this story is: dead people can't think outside
the box.
I am very interested in any theories regarding force-evolving
species, since I have been awake for the past 72 hours playing
"Black and White", the absolute bestest game ever in the whole
wide world. After all, what's the point of being a god if you
can't ignore people's prayers, just like the real God?
The Baptists are gonna hate this game.
-dp.
Ted Frank
David Pacheco <dpac...@iname.com> wrote:
>I am very interested in any theories regarding force-evolving
>species, since I have been awake for the past 72 hours playing
>"Black and White", the absolute bestest game ever in the whole
>wide world.
Waah! My computer only has 333 Megahertzes, and I can't play.
The solution is to get a new computer. But then I'd spend 72 hours
playing Black and White, and lose my job, and wouldn't be able to
afford a new computer.
I think Joseph Heller called this a "Mila 18."
--
"Remember: if you give a hungry man a fish, he'll be fed for a day. But
if you set him on fire, you can keep yourself warm for *hours*!"
-- David Pacheco
Joseph Michael Bay
>The solution is to get a new computer. But then I'd spend 72 hours
>playing Black and White, and lose my job, and wouldn't be able to
>afford a new computer.
>I think Joseph Heller called this a "Mila 18."
I think Hellen Keller called this a " ".