minor computer maker adds a swoosh to their logo, film at 11
James Kibo Parry
has taken the shockingly innovative step of putting one letter
in the middle of their logo in script (you know, like about
fifty other tech companies) and adding a curvy swoosh to it
(you know, like all other tech companies.) Oh, and it's bile
green now, like an iMac covered in moss.
This is their exuberantly bulltastic press release about
their swell new corporate identity, which for brevity's
sake will now be referred to as their "CI", with the "C"
in green and the "I" in italic.
-> Acer Group Unveils New Corporate Identity
->
-> Part of the group's long-term business strategy to reposition the brand
->
-> Henry Wang, Stella T.H. Chou, Adam Gault
-> Acer Corporate Communications
->
-> [TAIPEI, TAIWAN, March 8, 2001] The Acer Group today launched a
-> new corporate identity (CI) as part of a long-term business plan
-> to reposition the brand and achieve sustainable business growth
-> for its customers and the company. The new CI is a visual
-> representation of Acer's business strategy,
Logos are meant to be diagrams of our business models now?
Hmm, I better see if I can sell one to Amazon.com that shows a
guy dumping buckets of money into a giant smiling toilet which
is shouting "Hey, everyone! If you hate us, buy stuff because
we lose more money the more we sell!"
Although that might get confused with several other logos in
this new scheme. Maybe the logo better have the name of the
company in it somewhere. Better yet, maybe logos should just be
names of companies and not photographs of their business model.
-> which focuses on building a customer-centric company
WE HAVE THE CUSTOMER SURROUNDED!
-> and renewed commitment to fostering an innovative culture
-> in order to remain globally competitive. It also represents
-> Acer's evolution from a high technology, hardware focused
-> company to a softer, human centric and hi-touch company.
"Mommy! That man didn't just say 'hello' to me, he 'hi'-touched
me where my bathing suit covers!"
-> The new Acer is 'soft' in every sense,
(a thousand golden trumpets sound, and because each trumpet is filled with
millions of tiny platinum trumpets which spray into the air and explode
showering the world with microscopic trumpet fragments which all shout
"BRING ON THE DANCING BEARS!", the dancing bears must now enter, which
they do.)
*** THE DANCING BEARS OF BOZOSITY ENTER. THEY POINT TO THE SENTENCE
*** FRAGMENT ABOVE. SOME OF THEM GIGGLE. SOME OF THEM FROWN.
*** THEN THEY ALL EXPLODE. AND A GOOD TIME WAS HAD BY ALL.
-> including product design that truly accommodates to human needs,
-> and software development.
->
-> "Customer and innovation - these are the two driving forces that
-> will enable Acer to respond to the market challenges and deliver
-> strong business results for our customers, partners, shareholders
-> and employees," said Stan Shih, Chairman and CEO of the Acer
-> Group. "With the recent restructuring that included the separation
-> of our OEM and branded business, the company is now better able to
-> streamline end-to-end implementation, target key customer segments
-> and focus on innovating around the customer."
I like the idea of innovating "around" a specific customer.
"Does this bug you? I'm not touching you. I'm just innovating.
I'm not touching you."
-> The New Corporate Identity
->
-> Noticeably absent in the new CI is the symbolic Acer diamond,
-> which strategically demonstrates the company's focus on the Acer
-> brand, and prevents the common misuse of the CI.
Lack of diamonds prevents misuse. That would be a very wise thing
for us to remember if it made any sense. But, fortunately, compared
to diamonds, swooshes are impossible to misuse. Look:
HELLO, HAVE A HAPPY HAPPY SMILEY: O O
--------______
---__
--_
-_
-
-> A breakaway from its competitors, the new identity sports a vivid
-> green, representing life, growth, prosperity and resiliency;
Green is the perfect corporate color! It represents the ecology
without doing anything about it.
-> and reflecting Acer's goal to deliver fresh technology to everyone,
-> everywhere. The uniquely styled letter "e"
HEY EVERYONE ACER JUST INVENTED ITALICS!!!
-> and closely set italic type infer connectivity and accentuate
-> Acer's focus on providing innovative e-solutions to its customers.
I was going to buy a computer from IBM but the letters in their
logo aren't smashed together and therefore they must not be good
at selling computers.
-> The distinctive lower case and rounded font
"rounded font"?
Oh, apparently they mean that the "e" isn't a rectangle the way
it is in all other fonts.
For instance:
Helvetica: BIT[] M[]
Courier: BIT[] M[]
Franklin Gothic: BIT[] M[]
Geometric Lemon: BIT[] M[]
Fupper Fono: BIT[] M[]
Monotype Biffo Script: BIT[] M[]
Acer: BITe Me
-> represents Acer's friendly accessibility and gives the
-> impression of being in action.
YOUR AWESOME LOGO HAS FOOLED MY TINY BRAIN INTO THINKING YOUR
LOGO IS RUNNING AROUND THE PAGE ON TINY FEET! I AM WATCHING IT
BEAT UP ALL THE OTHER LOGOS IN THE WORLD! PLEASE MISTER COMPUTER
COMPANY I WISH TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR LOGO WHILE IT IS STILL MOVING!
-> To reinforce Acer's new identity and core values, the company has
-> over the past year implemented a total brand management program to
-> educate employees the Acer brand values. Only through employees'
-> genuine belief and exercise of the brand values, may the company
-> experience the true power of the brand. In the run up to today's
-> revealing of the new CI, Acer launched a teaser campaign to
-> inspire employees to embrace the new identity and brand values.
Where I work, I tease the employees too, but they don't usually
wind up embracing brand values. They just start crying and go home.
-> The Earlier Phases
->
-> Since its inception in 1976 as Multitech, the company has been
-> consistently building its brand and identity; with each successive
-> change, the company has elevated its mission to a new level to
-> meet the ever changing IT industry. The logo featuring a honeycomb
-> like design represented
bees that didn't know any better?
a cardboard-like cereal?
hexagon-like polygons with five or seven but not six sides?
a funnycomb?
-> the company's earlier mission to commercialize microprocessor
-> technology.
Gosh, I'm glad someone did that.
-> In 1983 Multitech adopted a logo that was a cross between a crown
-> shape and victorious 'V' to portray
the Catholic Church coming between King Edward and Winston Churchill.
-> its high technology and hardware focus.
Crowns represent hardware because they're HARD TO WEAR! GET IT?
Someday I want to see a corporate logo with a visual pun and the
words "GET IT???" in boldface. Excuse me, I mean "GeT IT???"
-> When Multitech evolved to Acer in 1987, the company concentrated
-> on creating a powerful global technology brand as it expanded
-> into a multinational company with global market presence.
Why do I get the feeling that if I try to buy a computer from
them they're going to just send me a big box of excelsior and buzzwords
mixed into a crumbly goulash?
-> The new identity represents Acer's growth from a manufacturing
-> to a knowledge-based economy,
...which makes investors everywhere say, "I KNOW THIS ECONOMY SUCKS!"
-> which values leadership, service and innovation. As a result,
-> its business strategy has evolved from being a hard, product
-> oriented company to a softer, human centric and high touch company,
-> driven by customer, not product, orientation.
Hey! Stop calling your customers gay! Their orientation has nothing
to do with whether or not they like your product, unless your computers
have pink daisies printed on them! And I think Apple and Barbie are
currently saturating that market.
-> "Acer is moving from high technology to high touch, where human
-> capital is the motivator," said J.T. Wang, President and CEO of
-> Acer Brand Operation. "By adopting a simplified structure, and
-> building the Acer branded business groups so as to achieve growth
-> in both profit and brand equity, Acer will be able to deliver one
-> face, one voice, and one experience for the customer. Acer branded
-> businesses will move 'outside of the box,' and develop innovative
-> devices, Internet appliances and e-business solutions, in addition
-> to our core PC business."
->
-> "As technology develops, we expect to see the brand becoming
-> increasingly important to each company." Continued Wang.
-> "Technology can be shared by all competitors, but the winner will
-> be the one who has built up the strongest brand power."
"POKeACeR! USe YOUR BRAND POWeR TO DeFeAT COMPACHU, MeGAPPLe, AND DeLLePHANT!"
-> Global brand consultant Landor Associates conceptualized the new
-> logo system, and Australian Business Theater developed the visual
-> identity system.
They forgot to mention that from now on "visual identity system"
would be abbreviated "CI", unless they're also using "CI" to
mean "visual identity system" given that "corporate identity"
and "visual identity system" both mean "putting our logo on our stuff."
To see what all this bolognasity is about, here's their Web page
with "Fun Downloads" including a Flash movie of crickets chirping
as the music swells and their new logo swoops over the horizon,
bringing light to the huddled masses and destroying civilization
in a blinding flash of nuclear energy:
http://global.acer.com/about/newci/index.html
In addition to making computers, they're also starting their
own religion. Here are the tenets of "Acer Corporated Culture":
=> Acer Corporate Culture
=>
=> You are here: Home/About Acer/Acer Corporated Culture
=>
=> A Touch of Acer Culture/ Acer Culture, A Sustainable Culture
=>
=> The Four Pillars
=>
=> Acer corporate culture rests on four major pillars:
=>
=> * Human nature is basically good.
=>
=> * Customer is No. 1.
=>
=> * Put knowledge to work for the company.
=>
=> * Be pragmatic and accountable.
That reminds me, I need to put up a "Humans are basically evil" sign
in my office.
-- K.
Right next to my rare photo of
Al Gore autographed by George W. Bush.
James Kibo Parry
>
> This is Acer's exuberantly bulltastic press release about
> their swell new corporate identity [...]
...and then I dismantled it down to the original halftone dots
so we could see the horrors within.
The Register points out that two months ago, Corel also
changed their logo and posted a teary-eyed justification
of its utter touchy-feelitude. Apparently these days
companies can't come right out and say "WE THINK THIS LOGO
LOOKS COOL" (or, more realistically, "WE'RE FLOUNDERING
ABOUT FOR WAYS TO SAVE THE COMPANY WITHOUT SPENDING ANY MONEY")
and instead they always have to post a press release
along the lines of "THE FACT THAT OUR LOGO HAS A BUMP ON
ONE SIDE REPRESENTS THE ULTIMATE UNIMPEACHABILITY OF THE
NOBLE HUMAN SPIRIT LIFTING OUR CORPORATION ABOVE ALL OTHERS
SO THAT WE MAY RAIN DOWN SHOWERS OF GOLD ON OUR BELOVED CUSTOMERS."
Or, as Corel put it...
-> To coincide with the announcement of Corel's revamped corporate
-> strategy, a new company logo was developed. It was unveiled on
-> January 23 during a day-long company event that brought employees,
-> media and analysts up to date on the company's new strategy.
-> Created by Corel's inhouse Creative Director, Robert Travers, the
-> logo puts a new face on the organization
"Yay, now our organization has a really creepy face! Let's paint it
on the building fifty feet tall! Make people walk into its mouth!"
-> and reflects the positive changes initiated by Corel's
-> executive management team.
->
-> In Robert's words:
->
-> "The logo was reworked to modernize it, with the goal that it
-> would mirror the new corporate direction. The choice of font and
-> colours reflects this evolution.
"Our company is now going in the BLUE direction. And instead of
software, from now on we're selling BLOCK LETTERS. BLUE ones."
-> The logo was inspired by what I call the moment of inspiration.
(ten trillion tubas sound a glorious oom-pah-pah fanfare as
the DANCING BEARS OF REDUNDANCY AND/OR TAUTOLOGY AND/OR REDUNDANCY
come dancing over the curved horizon, which represents the
future direction a company could go on its way to falling off the
face of the Earth.)
-> It happens when what you're working on starts to come to life.
"Our logo represents Frankenstein. From now on, our only product
is 'RRR! FIRE BAD!'. With 'RRR! FIRE BAD!' your computer can
tell you whether or not you are on fire, and whether that is bad.
Then it will kill you just to be safe."
-> You lose yourself in your drawing and time has no real meaning.
-> You become at one with your surroundings, yet you are lost within
-> them. You are at peace, yet you have a rush of adrenaline. These
-> dualities inspired the use of the yin yang element in the shape of
-> the head.
I'm trying to see the yin/yang in the head but all I see is
a prime example of Hitler Hair.
"This logo represents that we saved Hitler's brain."
-> The head is tilted to show the contemplation when creating, the
-> introspection. Everything in the process of creating is cerebral.
-> We are inspired from within and without. The boxes surrounding the
-> head show how the external elements from which we receive
-> inspiration act upon our inner thoughts and vice versa.
"The boxes are transmitting secret messages into the scary Hitler head,
just like in real life."
-> This moment of inspiration isn't limited to the graphic or
-> traditional artist. It applies to any creator, whether they're
-> playing music, writing novels or even writing code for software."
What about writing press releases?
You can see the Scary Hitler Head With Orbiting Mind-Control Boxes here:
http://www3.corel.com/cgi-bin/gx.cgi/AppLogic+FTContentServer?pagename=Corel/Corporate/Strategy/Logo
-- K.
I call the new Head Of Corel
"Little Deformo" and have pity
for the poor little warped
head with the bad hairstyle.
Schwa Love
ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) was all:
>I recently wrote:
>>
>> This is Acer's exuberantly bulltastic press release about
>> their swell new corporate identity [...]
>
>...and then I dismantled it down to the original halftone dots
>so we could see the horrors within.
>
>The Register points out that two months ago, Corel also
>changed their logo and posted a teary-eyed justification
>of its utter touchy-feelitude. Apparently these days
>companies can't come right out and say "WE THINK THIS LOGO
>LOOKS COOL" (or, more realistically, "WE'RE FLOUNDERING
>ABOUT FOR WAYS TO SAVE THE COMPANY WITHOUT SPENDING ANY MONEY")
>and instead they always have to post a press release
>along the lines of "THE FACT THAT OUR LOGO HAS A BUMP ON
>ONE SIDE REPRESENTS THE ULTIMATE UNIMPEACHABILITY OF THE
>NOBLE HUMAN SPIRIT LIFTING OUR CORPORATION ABOVE ALL OTHERS
>SO THAT WE MAY RAIN DOWN SHOWERS OF GOLD ON OUR BELOVED CUSTOMERS."
Hmm... this reminds me of why our utility bill jumped from $83/month to
$224/month recently. Public Service Company which provides our gas changed
their name to Excel (or "X-Cel" or "Xcel") and have to show commercials on
TV every five minutes explaining how they changed their name, and they have
a swirly red and white logo that can be superimposed everywhere. Look!
It's in a garden of roses! Over there! That child with the lollypop
shaped like our logo! Now it's on the side of a service van! All the
while, whimsical fairytale-like music plays in the background to soothe
customers and reassure them that GAS ISN'T GOING AWAY JUST BECAUSE WE
CHANGED OUR NAME TO Excel (or "X-Cel" or "Xcel") and we can rely on the
same great service from them still, if not better because they are putting
people first or something. Unfortunately, TV commercials ain't cheap, and
in order to constantly reassure us that things are just going to get
peachier and peachier, our utility bill has jumped from $83/month to
$224/month, but it's a small price to pay to have a revamped gas company
that also doubles as a spreadsheet application.
Of course, the ads don't seem to be doing the trick, as I'm still not sure
how they spell their name. Obviously I am not watching enough television
again. Shame on me.
> [Commentary on Corel's reasoning for using Hitler as their corporate
> logo deleted]
>
>You can see the Scary Hitler Head With Orbiting Mind-Control Boxes here:
>
> http://www3.corel.com/cgi-bin/gx.cgi/AppLogic+FTContentServer?pagenam
> e=Corel/Corporate/Strategy/Logo
>
>
> -- K.
>
> I call the new Head Of Corel
> "Little Deformo" and have pity
> for the poor little warped
> head with the bad hairstyle.
>
I see an inverted silhouette of a grinning face with a giant snot hanging
from his nose. Or maybe a very large front tooth.
No! It's a silhouette of a giant partridge peering over the eighteenth
hole!
No wait! It's a broken Bat-a-rang!
No wait again! It's a pretentious design by an art school graduate of
DOOM!
All I know is it makes me think in a different, more creative plane of
thought. Too bad they're just squares on a slanted plain and not cubes,
because I know SOMEONE who could use a picture of cubes and head for his
website.
-- Schwa ---
.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.o
"I had a bad day. I had to subvert my principles and kow-tow to an idiot.
Television makes these daily sacrifices possible. Deadens the inner core
of my being." - Matthew Slaughter in "Trust"
Xaonon
> "Does this bug you? I'm not touching you.
No fair stealing from MST3K.
"This man's recently been rocking!"
--
Xaonon, EAC Chief of Mad Scientists and informal BAAWA, aa #1821, Kibo #: 1
Visit The Nexus Of All Coolness (a.k.a. my site) at http://xaonon.cjb.net/
"Is the surface of a planet the right place for an expanding industrial
civilization?" -- Gerard K. O'Neill
Xaonon
> "POKeACeR! USe YOUR BRAND POWeR TO DeFeAT COMPACHU, MeGAPPLe, AND DeLLePHANT!"
I wonder if they also make the Star Market DIVIDeR-DIVIDeRs.
--
Xaonon, EAC Chief of Mad Scientists and informal BAAWA, aa #1821, Kibo #: 1
Visit The Nexus Of All Coolness (a.k.a. my site) at http://xaonon.cjb.net/
"I'm going to start walking around in my underwear from now on so that I
don't become a lesbian!" -- James "Kibo" Parry, in alt.religion.kibology
Xcott Craver
>
>Hmm... this reminds me of why our utility bill jumped from $83/month to
>$224/month recently. Public Service Company which provides our gas changed
>their name to Excel (or "X-Cel" or "Xcel") and have to show commercials on
>TV every five minutes explaining how they changed their name, and they have
>a swirly red and white logo that can be superimposed everywhere.
It's times like these that you wish you could just hack into a
major newspaper and change the front page without anyone noticing
before the next day:
GAS PRICES NEARLY TRIPLE, IN EFFORT TO SELL MORE GAS
X-cel has "most retarted marketing department on Earth,"
says 100% of Americans in phone poll. And Pope.
>I see an inverted silhouette of a grinning face with a giant snot hanging
>from his nose. Or maybe a very large front tooth.
Remember, changing the logo to something idiotic is not enough.
You have to distance yourself completely from what your trendy
tech-sector company actually does. We don't just sell computers!!
Not necessarily!! We don't necessarily sell products!! Let's
change our name from "BigAss Computers" to something that doesn't
say anything about us! Like "Google" or "Accenture" or
"3XtrEm1x"! I saw that on a license plate on the way to work!!
We have to do this or else we'll be dead tomorrow!!
>No wait! It's a broken Bat-a-rang!
You want wacky, see Be's new logo at http://www.be.com. It's
a kind of squiggle representing an eye and an ear and whatever
else can be represented by a squiggle.
You may ask, what is the point of coming up with a logo at all
when blessed with a TWO-LETTER COMPANY NAME? Well, I guess
it reaffirms their committment to televised Egyptian Hieroglyphics.
-S
Beable van Polasm
> Let's change our name from "BigAss Computers" to something
> that doesn't say anything about us! Like "Google" or
> "Accenture" or "3XtrEm1x"!
But "Google" is a GOOD name! It's just too bad that google is a
REAL WORD, so they can't trademark it! HAW HAW! Let's all start
calling ourselves Google! THERE'S NOTHING THEY CAN DO ABOUT IT!
cheers
Google van Google
--
Come on Ref! Take the kendo sticks away! The guy's unconscious!
-- WCW Nitro Commentator
IQC 78189333
http://members.nbci.com/_______/index.html
Googlenn Googleart Googlerbocker
>REAL WORD, so they can't trademark it! HAW HAW! Let's all start
>calling ourselves Google! THERE'S NOTHING THEY CAN DO ABOUT IT!
>
>cheers
>Google van Google
I googleyly endorse this product and/or googlervice.
Jim Vandewalker
(James "Kibo" Parry) wrote:
{
{ You can see the Scary Hitler Head With Orbiting Mind-Control Boxes here:
{
{
http://www3.corel.com/cgi-bin/gx.cgi/AppLogic+FTContentServer?pagename=Corel
/Corporate/Strategy/Logo
{
{
{ -- K.
{
{ I call the new Head Of Corel
{ "Little Deformo" and have pity
{ for the poor little warped
{ head with the bad hairstyle.
I followed that "link" and discovered that none of the graphics which MIGHT
have contained the new logo would show up. Internet Explorer just shows a
little St Andrew's cross.
--
Jim the Dead Guy
Ted Frank
Beable van Polasm <bea...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>Caj@B_r_a_i_n_H_z.c_o_m (Xcott Craver) writes:
>> Let's change our name from "BigAss Computers" to something
>> that doesn't say anything about us! Like "Google" or
>> "Accenture" or "3XtrEm1x"!
>
>But "Google" is a GOOD name! It's just too bad that google is a
>REAL WORD, so they can't trademark it! HAW HAW! Let's all start
>calling ourselves Google! THERE'S NOTHING THEY CAN DO ABOUT IT!
>
>cheers
>Google van Google
Worked for Yahoo's former CEO, Robert Google.
--
"I don't have windows. It's all modern Finnish wood. ... I usually spend
three hours a day in my Finnish sauna. I don't want people to know that.
People think I'm working." -- Justice Stephen Breyer.
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > "POKeACeR! USe YOUR BRAND POWeR TO DeFeAT COMPACHU, MeGAPPLe,
> > AND DeLLePHANT!"
>
> I wonder if they also make the Star Market DIVIDeR-DIVIDeRs.
I think those are made on a NeXT. I can tell because the magic marker
lettering on them is in Display PostScript. I'd try to dig up the file
but NeXT only made one computer and I wasn't the guy who bought it and
it only came with one disk drive which was an optical drive with only
one cartridge that you could never take out, back up, or look at, and
so the only NeXT ever made is in some basement somewhere with the only
copy of all the NeXT software in the world trapped inside it. I think
a guy started backing it up in 1988 by listing all the bytes to the
screen and then writing them down in magic marker on the back of a
brown paper grocery sack, but a bug in his brain caused him to write
"66 04 FF 3A 29 66 66 WE LC OM ED AT AC OM P" and his backup was ruined
so he rolled up the paper bag, put a rubber band around it, and for
the rest of the late eighties the Prudential Star Market had DIVIDeR-DIVIDeRs
that said WeLCOMe-DATACOMP instead.
-- K.
Other than ACeR, NeXT, NeWS, TeX, and ][e,
the only other brand of computer hardware
or software to have tiny e's is the
ever-popular "PeeCee".
David DeLaney
>has taken the shockingly innovative step of putting one letter
>in the middle of their logo in script (you know, like about
>fifty other tech companies) and adding a curvy swoosh to it
>(you know, like all other tech companies.) Oh, and it's bile
>green now, like an iMac covered in moss.
The company, the logo, or just that one letter?
>Logos are meant to be diagrams of our business models now?
IWPTA "legos", of course.
>Maybe the logo better have the name of the company in it somewhere.
No, that would make it too -easy-! Plus interlocking directorates would
have to be written in fraktal.
> Better yet, maybe logos should just be
>names of companies and not photographs of their business model.
Now I'm having Firesign Theater flashbacks. "You put the little boxcar full
of coke in here..."
>-> The new Acer is 'soft' in every sense,
>
>(a thousand golden trumpets sound, and because each trumpet is filled with
>millions of tiny platinum trumpets which spray into the air and explode
>showering the world with microscopic trumpet fragments which all shout
>"BRING ON THE DANCING BEARS!", the dancing bears must now enter, which
>they do.)
YAAAAAAY
>*** THE DANCING BEARS OF BOZOSITY ENTER. THEY POINT TO THE SENTENCE
>*** FRAGMENT ABOVE. SOME OF THEM GIGGLE. SOME OF THEM FROWN.
>*** THEN THEY ALL EXPLODE. AND A GOOD TIME WAS HAD BY ALL.
Mmmmm. Taffy-scented dancing bears. _Redneck_ ones.
(I know, I know - "too much info'mation, Dave!"...)
>-> including product design that truly accommodates to human needs,
Naaah, it'll never work.
>-> "Customer and innovation - these are the two driving forces that
...will stop all the proofreaders in their tracks, like glue?
>-> and employees," said Stan Shih, Chairman and CEO of the Acer
>-> Group.
OH NO! IT'S STAN LEE VERSION 7.5!
>-> of our OEM and branded business, the company is now better able to
>-> streamline end-to-end implementation, target key customer segments
>-> and focus on innovating around the customer."
>
>I like the idea of innovating "around" a specific customer.
I'm thinking about "streamlining end-to-end implementation" -right now-.
[snip exponentially decaying emoticon]
>-> and closely set italic type infer connectivity and accentuate
>-> Acer's focus on providing innovative e-solutions to its customers.
Hay. Are they allowed to use trademarked words like "accenturate" in a
different company's press releases like that? Without even making them <blink>?
>YOUR AWESOME LOGO HAS FOOLED MY TINY BRAIN INTO THINKING YOUR
>LOGO IS RUNNING AROUND THE PAGE ON TINY FEET! I AM WATCHING IT
>BEAT UP ALL THE OTHER LOGOS IN THE WORLD! PLEASE MISTER COMPUTER
>COMPANY I WISH TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR LOGO WHILE IT IS STILL MOVING!
flake off every 'zig'
>-> In 1983 Multitech adopted a logo that was a cross between a crown
>-> shape and victorious 'V' to portray
>
>the Catholic Church coming between King Edward and Winston Churchill.
Yes! Logos that use _red-hot pokers_! ISAGN!
>Crowns represent hardware because they're HARD TO WEAR! GET IT?
^^^^^^PENGUINNS!
>Someday I want to see a corporate logo with a visual pun and the
>words "GET IT???" in boldface. Excuse me, I mean "GeT IT???"
I just want a new ad campaign for ADSL that has billboards with "GOT SYNC?"
on them. Though I don't know what should end up smeared on the customers'
faces.
>Why do I get the feeling that if I try to buy a computer from
>them they're going to just send me a big box of excelsior and buzzwords
>mixed into a crumbly goulash?
"Some assembly required. Bake at 350^o for thirty minutes, stirring
occasionally."
>To see what all this bolognasity is about, here's their Web page
>with "Fun Downloads" including a Flash movie of crickets chirping
>as the music swells
I think that says it all right there, really.
>=> * Human nature is basically good.
Oops. Game over, player 1...
>=> * Customer is No. 1.
We think this a lot also, but we're not allowed to -say- it to the customers.
Is this a truth-in-advertising thing?
>=> * Put knowledge to work for the company.
Because the employees are doing _crap_-all...
>=> * Be pragmatic and accountable.
They're misspelling something. I'm not surprised...
Dave "not sure I want to ask _where_ George W. Bush autographed Al Gore" DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://panacea.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ/ I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
David Pacheco
> I'd try to dig up the file
> but NeXT only made one computer and I wasn't the guy who bought it and
> it only came with one disk drive which was an optical drive with only
> one cartridge that you could never take out, back up, or look at, and
> so the only NeXT ever made is in some basement somewhere with the only
> copy of all the NeXT software in the world trapped inside it.
Heh. I just threw away a NeXT yesterday. It was shaped like a
pizza box, which is why college students used to love it.
Except for the model that was shaped like a cube, which college
students hated because there's nothing more disgusting than a big
ball of pizza.
I have fond memories of NeXT boxes, because it was on a NeXT that
I first read alt.religion.kibology. My first article to ARK was
posted from a NeXT.
The ironic part of this whole thing is how remarkably ahead of
their time the makers of the NeXT actually proved to be: you can
see elements of their designs being pilfered by all kinds of
computer makers today, especially in the newer Apple lines.
-dp.
Jorn Barger
> Heh. I just threw away a NeXT yesterday. It was shaped like a
> pizza box, which is why college students used to love it.
That's why I dove for it in your dumpster this morning (I thought it was
free pizza) but I kept it anyway, to add to my NeXT hypercube.
> Except for the model that was shaped like a cube, which college
> students hated because there's nothing more disgusting than a big
> ball of pizza.
If it's a sphere of cheese surrounded by a crust of bread, certainly, or
if the cheese is on the outside of a big, boring sphere of bread, maybe,
but if you used a hollow-earth approach with cheese inside _or_ outside,
I'm all over it with a fork...
> I have fond memories of NeXT boxes, because it was on a NeXT that
> I first read alt.religion.kibology. My first article to ARK was
> posted from a NeXT.
You are Tim Berners-Lee and I claim veto power over the next ten W3C
'standards'.
> The ironic part of this whole thing is how remarkably ahead of
> their time the makers of the NeXT actually proved to be: you can
> see elements of their designs being pilfered by all kinds of
> computer makers today, especially in the newer Apple lines.
(AIBT?)
--
http://www.robotwisdom.com/ "Relentlessly intelligent
yet playful, polymathic in scope of interests, minimalist
but user-friendly design." --Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel
William Clifford
James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> quotes a press release and
writes:
>-> and renewed commitment to fostering an innovative culture
>-> in order to remain globally competitive. It also represents
>-> Acer's evolution from a high technology, hardware focused
>-> company to a softer, human centric and hi-touch company.
>
>"Mommy! That man didn't just say 'hello' to me, he 'hi'-touched
>me where my bathing suit covers!"
I think the 'hi-touch' thing descended from Bill Gates. A lot of the
Amway/Quixtar people like to use a Gatisism in their promotion which
goes something like, "The company that combines 'hi-tech' and 'hi-touch'
will TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!1!" I challenge kibologists who thinks they
are strong enough to sit straight-faced through an Amway/Quixtar pitch.
No matter how hardened against viral memes and subtle-as-rugby sales
pitches you think you are, it is not for the weak.
--
| William Clifford | wo...@yahoo.com | http://wobh.home.mindspring.com |
|"If you can't visualize what you want in your own head how will you |
| know if it's right on the screen?" --Scott Riblet on GUI vs. CL |
Schwa Love
Caj@B_r_a_i_n_H_z.c_o_m (Xcott Craver) was all:
>Schwa Love <schw...@qwest.net> wrote:
>>I see an inverted silhouette of a grinning face with a giant snot
>>hanging from his nose. Or maybe a very large front tooth.
>
> Remember, changing the logo to something idiotic is not enough.
> You have to distance yourself completely from what your trendy
> tech-sector company actually does. We don't just sell computers!!
> Not necessarily!! We don't necessarily sell products!! Let's
> change our name from "BigAss Computers" to something that doesn't
> say anything about us! Like "Google" or "Accenture" or
> "3XtrEm1x"! I saw that on a license plate on the way to work!!
> We have to do this or else we'll be dead tomorrow!!
We don't sell computers, we sell small business solutions
We don't sell insurance, we sell peace of mind
We don't sell ice cream, we sell nostalgia on a warm, sunny day.
We don't sell pr0n, we sell personal comfort on a lonely, bitter night.
> You want wacky, see Be's new logo at http://www.be.com. It's
> a kind of squiggle representing an eye and an ear and whatever
> else can be represented by a squiggle.
Looks to me more like a paperclip bent out of shape by a bored cubicle-
dweller.
New company slogan: "Be, Inc. Give us a call. Please? Look at our logo,
we're obviously bored."
-- Schwa ---
.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.o
"There's something I must tell you, there's something I must say
The only really perfect love, is one that gets away." - The Residents
ICQ#37704091 Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA
Chrid
Parry) wrote:
[snip]
>
>You can see the Scary Hitler Head With Orbiting Mind-Control Boxes here:
>
> http://www3.corel.com/cgi-bin/gx.cgi/AppLogic+FTContentServer?pagename=Corel/Corporate/Strategy/Logo
>
>
> -- K.
>
> I call the new Head Of Corel
> "Little Deformo" and have pity
> for the poor little warped
> head with the bad hairstyle.
I believe that Little Deformo is staring down at his own grotesquely
huge navel. He's consumed with hatred that ever grows within him..
hatred against his creators!!
Chrid
Peter Seebach
James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
[snip]
I showed this to a guy with some graphics design background. Apparently,
Acer probably got sold "standard sucker package B", the logo you sell
companies that want to think they're "about people".
-s
--
Copyright 2001, all wrongs reversed. Peter Seebach / se...@plethora.net
C/Unix wizard, Pro-commerce radical, Spam fighter. Boycott Spamazon!
Consulting & Computers: http://www.plethora.net/
Xcott Craver
>
>I showed this to a guy with some graphics design background. Apparently,
>Acer probably got sold "standard sucker package B", the logo you sell
>companies that want to think they're "about people".
People?
ACER IS MADE OUT OF *PEOPLE*!!! IhihihiT'S PEEPULLLL!!!!!
>-s
-S
James Kibo Parry
Lester Haines, writing for The Register (www.theregister.co.uk)
has advised me of a third silly press release about a new corporate
logo in recent days. Some company called "Sema" apparently
restyled themselves, so I ran over to Sema's site and found
their logo's coming-out announcement:
> From Sema Group to Sema, new symbol, same spirit.
Oh oh, I sense a desperate-sounding torrent of blather
approaching to explain away "We dropped the word 'group' so
we could make the letting in our logo bigger."
> Sema has now achieved sufficient size and maturity to need a
> single strong brand identity across all of its operations
> worldwide.
"We're no longer immature and insufficient!" I picture that
slogan appearing in a little yellow starbust that goes "DING!"
> Our new logo and change of name from Sema Group to
> Sema are signs of the company's confidence in its position
> and the global nature of its business.
First rule of business: To express confidence in yourself,
change your name and logo.
> In addition, the name Sema is easier to remember
It's as easy to remember as "Ames", if you're Professor Backwards!
I'm going to change my name a dozen times this week to make
it REALLY easy to remember!
> and already familiar to customers, investors and the press.
"Hey, aren't they the guys who sent us that stupid press
release about their silly new logo?"
> Originally an acronym of Societe d'Economie et de
> Mathematiques Appliquees (Applied Mathematics and Economics
> Company), Sema also means "sign" in Greek. Most importantly,
> however, in today's fiercely competitive context, our name
> reflects a confident company which has a clear vision of the
> future.
Our employees have pride in our company. Each and every Seman.
> Our new logo is an innovative, creative image
Is the blurry lettering the innovative part or the creative part?
Hmm, I'm going to say the burning sideways clown face is the
creative part. So I guess the lettering designed to look badly-Xeroxed
must be the innovative part.
> that not only represents our collective values and achievements,
> but is also better suited to interactive digital media.
I can't wait for them to invent interactive press releases.
"Wow! This virtual reality helmet really allows me to smell the bull!"
> We have created a modern, coherent and yet simple logo,
Burning sideways clown faces are coherent now?
> strongly linking our name to a distinctive symbol.
I'm pretty sure it IS distinctive, unless General Electric
also has a burning sideways clown face now.
Nope, they still just have "GE" with a circle around it. SO unhip!
> This clarity and simplicity should ensure that we have the maximum
> visual strength and impact for a truly global brand.
It's the logo that punches you in the face with its agressive
blurriness and psychotic burning clowniness!
> As a memorable and immediately recognisable symbol, our new
> logo links the Sema name with a striking abstract image
> representing a free flowing symbol.
"When you think of burning clowns, think of Sema!"
By the way, does anyone know what Sema does? Is it something
to do with flammable clown noses?
> It can be read as the Sema spirit or flame sustained by our
> vital energy.
"Do not use our logo improperly or we will sue you for trademark
dilution of our precious bodily fluids and vital energy."
> It expresses the idea that Sema is a leader, ahead of the field
> in terms of innovation and forward thinking.
"We're the BEST burning clown in the world!"
> The inclusion of our previous corporate colours indicates
> Sema's stability and the orange dot evokes our central place
> in the e-economy.
I burrowed my way to the exact center of the Internet and found
a clown nose!
> The new logo also reflects Sema's lively, creative and innovative
> personality which not only sits comfortably in the high-tech
> world where we operate, but also more accurately reflects the
> reality of the company as a confederation of highly skilled
> people.
Highly skilled people who torched Bozo's face.
> This important move strongly reaffirms our values, business
> philosophy and commitment to provide the best and most
> appropriate services to all our clients and shareholders
> around the globe. The men and women of Sema - who have so
> successfully won the trust of hundreds of leading companies
> and organisations worldwide - are more capable than ever of
> sustaining this constant innovation, and of staying at the
> forefront of business and technical developments... as our new
> logo so powerfully suggests.
I think it's usually the press release's job to suggest all
sorts of made-up justifications for the stupid logo. The
stupid logo's job is just to sit there and let me make fun of it.
Take a look for yourself! See the burning bozo at:
http://www.sema.com/sema/new-logo.htm
-- K.
I almost forgot to finish this
article because my new mouse
arrived, and a new mouse is certainly
more important than a new logo.
Chrid
Parry) wrote:
[SNIP}
[HAMMOND]
[KIBO]
[HEY! WHO LET YOU IN HERE!]
>Burning sideways clown faces are coherent now?
[SNIP]
[HAMMOND]
[AARGH]
[KIBO]
[SNIP]
It's not a burning sideways clown face. It's a crappy thing blowin'
in the wind.
Chrid
Glenn Knickerbocker
> approaching to explain away "We dropped the word 'group' so
> we could make the letting in our logo bigger."
I knew there was a significant amount of bloodletting going on in
corporations these days, but I hardly dreamed it extended even to their
logos.
> "When you think of burning clowns, think of Sema!"
Think of Sema and Grow Thin!
ŹR
Jym Dyer
> must be the innovative part.
=v= That particular type of distressed type is so totally 1999.
What's next? "eSema.com?"
<_Jym_>
Joseph Michael Bay
>"We're the BEST burning clown in the world!"
>Take a look for yourself! See the burning bozo at:
> http://www.sema.com/sema/new-logo.htm
I don't like burning clowns. They smell funny.
--
Joe Bay We are the Stanford University.
Space Robot University We are here to protect you.
Palo Alto CA
Schwa Love
chrid/removespamblock/@chridmeister.co.uk (Chrid) was all:
Looks to me more like a stylized woman with bluish-grey hair flowing in the
wind peering over a pumpkin.
So. When are we going to replace rorschach tests with brand new corporate
logos for psychiatrists to use to determine which antidepressents we should
be placed on.
Patient: "Uh, looks like orbital mind control satellites spinning around
Hitler."
Psychiatrist: "Oh my. And this one?"
Patient: "A sideways clown that's on fire and he's melting kind of like
those Nazis at the end of 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'."
Psychiatrist: "Dear oh dear. Howabout this?"
Patient: "A letter 'T' inside a pentagram and there's what looks like a
devil's tail sticking out at the top just in front of an ice
cube that spells out the word 'SEX' surrounded by thirteen
stars and there's a little guy in the moon there to the left
of a blue pyramid with a broken 'o' in it that I guess could
be an eye."
Psychiatrist: "Alrightythen. We're gonna have to put you on Paxil with
a Zoloft chaser."
-- Schwa ---
.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.o
"I had a bad day. I had to subvert my principles and kow-tow to an idiot.
Television makes these daily sacrifices possible. Deadens the inner core
of my being." - Matthew Slaughter in "Trust"
Peter Seebach
This is looking like a series, and it suggests something:
We need a special new web site where all we do is post satire based on
press releases. Kibo, you could MAKE $$$ FAST if you could find a way
to leverage the proactive synergy of incomprehensible press releases and
incomprehensible Kibo-humor.
-s
p.s.: I couldn't breathe for about 30 seconds while reading the "Sema" logo
post, so you nearly killed me. I hope you're happy.
David DeLaney
Logos got -heels-?
>> From Sema Group to Sema, new symbol, same spirit.
SSC: The more I read this, the further it wackyparseth into "Smegma Group".
Sorry, Tennessee!
>Our employees have pride in our company. Each and every Seman.
Oh dear, I knew it was coming...
>> We have created a modern, coherent and yet simple logo,
>
>Burning sideways clown faces are coherent now?
Could be worse. Could be fractal.
>It's the logo that punches you in the face with its agressive
>blurriness and psychotic burning clowniness!
<droopy smiley>No dancing beaaaaaaars?</droopy>
>By the way, does anyone know what Sema does? Is it something
>to do with flammable clown noses?
What does Sema is? Donut know.
>> The inclusion of our previous corporate colours indicates
>> Sema's stability and the orange dot evokes our central place
>> in the e-economy.
>
>I burrowed my way to the exact center of the Internet and found
>a clown nose!
No, that would be a -red- dot. This, I fear, is a _mime_ nose.
Dave "giraffe" DeLaney
Jacob W. Haller
> In article <kibo-12030...@potsie.std.com>,
> James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
> >On the heels of the new Corel and Acer logos...
>
> This is looking like a series, and it suggests something:
>
> We need a special new web site where all we do is post satire based on
> press releases. [. . .]
http://www.despair.com/recentspin.html
-jwgh
--
"Of course, there is more to a web page than headings. You'll want to
use pictures, and lots of them! The more cluttered your web page, the
more time visitors will spend there trying to figure it out."
-Carlton Egremont III, /Mr. Bunny's Guide to ActiveX/
Poot Rootbeer
>
>What's next? "eSema.com?"
Nick should get a job there just so he can get the subdomain
-Poot
Beable van Polasm
> James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
> >On the heels of the new Corel and Acer logos...
>
> Logos got -heels-?
I think you mean "legos", don't you?
http://drew.corrupt.net/lp/
cheers
Beable van Polasm
--
This isn't right!! -- WCW Nitro Commentator #1
This is a travesty! -- WCW Nitro Commentator #2
IQC 78189333
http://members.nbci.com/_______/index.html
David DeLaney
>> James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
>> >On the heels of the new Corel and Acer logos...
>>
>> Logos got -heels-?
>
>I think you mean "legos", don't you?
>http://drew.corrupt.net/lp/
Yes, I'm looking at that Right Now, except I had to wait for Joplin's 'Solace'
by Rifkin to finish up, because every time I pull up a new image on IEEEE5,
it's apparently sonically encoded and stops my Napster from playing momentarily.
Dave "PGP via sonic steganography?" DeLaney
Jeremy Impson
> "A fool and his money can be incinerated and then separated by
> distillation."
> - Jim Benton
I think a centrifuge would prolly be more effective.
http://www.hanford.gov/docs/rl-97-1047/chem_separation/figure14.htm
--Jeremy
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeremy Impson
http://nwc.syr.edu/~jdimpson
brent jackson
Poot Rootbeer <po...@dork.com> wrote:
>Rich Holmes <rsholme...@mailbox.syr.edu> wrote:
>>
>>BUY OUR PRODUCTS OR MR SMILEY LOSES HIS OTHER EYE.
>
>"Mr. Smiley" only has one "eye" to begin with, and how do you propose
>taking that one away? Sewing it up?
take a look at that logo more closely:
~.)
it's obviously a cyclops with a bad comb-over. here's the same cyclops with
a toupee:
{.)
here's a glass eye, in case he does lose his one eye: .
-brent
it's never too late to lose an eye
robert lindsay
>> around the globe. The men and women of Sema - who have so
>> successfully won the trust of hundreds of leading companies
>> and organisations worldwide - are more capable than ever of
>> sustaining this constant innovation, and of staying at the
>> forefront of business and technical developments... as our new
>> logo so powerfully suggests.
>
>I think it's usually the press release's job to suggest all
>sorts of made-up justifications for the stupid logo. The
>stupid logo's job is just to sit there and let me make fun of it.
>
>Take a look for yourself! See the burning bozo at:
>
> http://www.sema.com/sema/new-logo.htm
See, this is why I could never do PR. My press release would go something like:
'Sema Group, having burning through their VC funding at a spetacular rate through
a series of dilertesque management blunders, now annouces that they have changed their
logo to something resembling a smiley with one eye shot out in a desperate attempt
to attrach more money into this money pit of a 'company', and I use that term loosely.
>
> -- K.
>
> I almost forgot to finish this
> article because my new mouse
> arrived, and a new mouse is certainly
> more important than a new logo.
Cool! is it one of those new 9 button ones?
--
Robert Lindsay, NASA - Goddard, Greenbelt MD rlin...@seadas.gsfc.nasa.gov
I sorry for you that porn failed to stop the early successes of the Nazis.
Boomer, ok.general, 2/25/01
#include <standard_disclaimer.h> 301-286-9958 ISTJ NON SVM ACERBVS
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > sorts of made-up justifications for the stupid logo.
>
> something like:
>
> 'Sema Group, having burning through their VC funding at a spetacular rate
> they have changed their logo to something resembling a smiley with one
> money pit of a 'company', and I use that term loosely.
Personally, I think a logo resembling a mutilated smiley would be a
good corporate image in specific circumstances. "We're such a fun
company to work at that our employees keep smiling even when the
assembly line causes them to lose an eye!"
> > I almost forgot to finish this article because my new mouse
> > arrived, and a new mouse is certainly more important than a new logo.
>
> Cool! is it one of those new 9 button ones?
No, the logo doesn't have any buttons. I think the clown nose is
made from one of those icky supermarket marshmallows that's been
rolled in coconut floor sweepings and then mashed into a bag with
lots of other now-permanently-deformed hairy brown marshmallows.
As far as the mouse goes, it's one of those new 108-button mice.
The only problem is the idiots shipped it with all the letters in
the wrong order, so I pulled them off and put them back on in
ABCDE order. Is there a name for that? Gotta go, I think I got
a virus. Whenever I type a letter some other letter comes out
without me even doing anything!!! Also those gigs of mega they
sold me won't go into the slot in my monitor's hard drive. Should
I download more mega from my printer?
-- K.
Also, this foot pedal tastes terrible!
Xcott Craver
That's what we in the know call a concertina.
-S
Glenn Knickerbocker
The Marine Parade!
ŹR
Jacob W. Haller
Outside the know it's too dark to identify.
-jwgh
--
Joseph Michael Bay
Th' important thing about these is th' way th' AIR smells comin' out!!!!
--
Joe Bay XNG
Cancer Biology VRB
Leland Stanford Junior University ALA
Nike Educational Facilities and Sweatshops Inc OPD
Glenn Knickerbocker
> Bandoneon, if you want to get techinical.
Bandon, . . . on, on neon, . . . on the, . . . on the Marine Parade!
ŹR
Mark Hill
> here's a glass eye, in case he does lose his one eye: .
>
> -brent
> it's never too late to lose an eye
It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
Rid
or buys a vowel
I'll have O FOR OWESOME!!
--
Philip parked, unbuckled the seat belt, exhaled. Work. It could be worse.
It had been. This was safe harbour. So far, he had seen no signs
of Cthulhu or Yog-Sothith or his dread messenger, Nyarlathotep.
- William Browning Spencer _Resume with Monsters_