our nation's greatest linguistic problem, solved at last
James Kibo Parry
I hereby declare that from now on, the singular of "people" is "peopum".
(If you search Google for "peopum", it suggests that you really meant
to search for "people", which proves I'm right.)
In the future, instead of the sexist phrases "Move along, sir!" and
"Move along, ma'am!", cops will yell "Move along, peopum!" to
individuals of any gender -- male, female, neuter, fembot, Astro-man,
or walking kohlrabi.
Every peopum on Earth needs to start using the word "peopum".
If you don't, then you're a bad peopum, and you don't want to be lumped
in with all the other bad peopums, er, people.
Because the singular form of "people" is "peopum", therefore the
singular form of "apple" is "aplum", which you can test by going
to the supermarket and mashing plums together until you get an apple.
Now go out into the world and say "peopum" until everyone else also starts
saying "peopum", and afterwards I'll tell you why this was important.
-- K.
What's the past tense of
"nougat"?
"Bit-O-Honey"!
Kitty Davis
"James "Kibo" Parry" wrote:
> If "persons" is the plural of "person", what is "people" the plural of?
>
> I hereby declare that from now on, the singular of "people" is "peopum".
Noted, Sir. I mean, noted, Big Peopum.
What's the singular of "folks"?
Leo
Kitty Davis wrote:
Tod or vixen.
TomH
(James "Kibo" Parry) wrote:
>
-- K.
>
> What's the past tense of "nougat"?
Oldgat?
--
TomH [ antonomasia <at> gmail <dot>com ]
David DeLaney
>If "persons" is the plural of "person", what is "people" the plural of?
Oooo, counterfactuals! The plural of "person" is "personae", as eny fule kno.
"People" is a mistranslation of "pueblo" and actually refers to public
buildings. (But try finding THAT in your up-to-date futuristic online
dictionary, dad gum!)
>Now go out into the world and say "peopum" until everyone else also starts
>saying "peopum", and afterwards I'll tell you why this was important.
But I hardly KNOW 'um!
Dave "as long as they don't know I'm peoping it's all good I guess" DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
Bryce Utting
>
> I hereby declare that from now on, the singular of "people" is "peopum".
Peopum Tom, do you have any thoughts on this idea?
butting
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > What's the past tense of "nougat"?
>
> Oldgat?
In the matter of Nougat vs. Oldgat, I refer you to my article of
October 14, 2003 -- nearly two years ago, if these dates are to be
believed. Permit me to refresh your recollection:
////////////// ITZA RE-RUN! /////////////////////////////////////////////
From: James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Re: Since When Is "Nougat" a Count Noun?
Date: Tue, 14 Oct 2003 23:33:45 -0400
Kevin S. Wilson (res...@spro.net) wrote:
>
> On my desk are three happy, happy fun-size Fast Break candy bars,
> recently liberated from the Administrative Assistant's office (that
> will teach her to take a day off). The key ingredients are listed on
> the label: milk chocolate, peanut butter, soft NOUGATS.
>
> One nougat, two nougats, three nougats, four. I'm very confused, and
> somewhat saddened. When did "nougat" cease being a mass noun, like
> water, air, corn, quorn, and meat?
Well, when referring to a box of candies, you can call them "pralines"
if more than one is a praline, no? And therefore, if more than one is
nougatine, you can say "nougatines", no? And if you can say "nougatines"
you can also say "nougats" if the candies are just like nougatines
except not all iney.
What I always want to know is, how come Necco SkyBars never come right
out and admit they're full of oldgat?
-- K.
Never have I tried a Fast Break.
I once made the mistake of eating
a Three Musketeers and thus
I have learned that not all
candy contains any candy.
////////////// NOW TIZZENT! /////////////////////////////////////////////
Now, Mr. H, this demonstrates that you have previously failed to learn
one of my euphonius, clever, DEMONSTRABLY USEFUL neologisms. What proof
does this Court Of Public Opinion have that you will now use the newly-
coined "peopum" in conversation? I put it to you, sir, that this
court OBVIOUSLY must clamp one of those exploding collars from "Star Trek"
onto your neck until such time as you stop failing to say my nonsense words,
WHICH ARE NOT NONSENSE AT ALL!
-- K.
And now you know why
I'm not a laywer.
The system kept me out
of that profession
because they knew I
would be too good at it.
TomH
(James "Kibo" Parry) wrote:
>TomH (add...@my.sig) wrote:
>>
>> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
>> >
>> > What's the past tense of "nougat"?
>>
>> Oldgat?
>
>In the matter of Nougat vs. Oldgat, I refer you to my article of
>October 14, 2003 -- nearly two years ago, if these dates are to be
>believed. Permit me to refresh your recollection:
HEY! Bonus points for ignorant me for using correct
spelling!
And I'm really sorry. My 'all headers' error only flooded
me with ARK messages from ~October 2004.
>Now, Mr. H, this demonstrates that you have previously failed to learn
>one of my euphonius, clever, DEMONSTRABLY USEFUL neologisms. What proof
>does this Court Of Public Opinion have that you will now use the newly-
>coined "peopum" in conversation? I put it to you, sir, that this
>court OBVIOUSLY must clamp one of those exploding collars from "Star Trek"
>onto your neck until such time as you stop failing to say my nonsense words,
>WHICH ARE NOT NONSENSE AT ALL!
>
> -- K.
>
> And now you know why
> I'm not a laywer.
> The system kept me out
> of that profession
> because they knew I
> would be too good at it.
"Court"? But you are not a "lawyer" of the "system".
The system is unforgiving, inexorable, nay, even rancorous.
They do not allow any verbage to be articulated that cannot
otherwise be lingually expressed in allotments, individually
or conjointly, via the employment of superfluous,
supererogatory, and even profusely redundant and euphuistic
bon mots.
Therefore, whence, and consequently, being an adherently
accomplished aficionado of a plentitude of nonsensical
neologisms, you, Peopum Kibo, (if that indubitably is your
veritable pseudonymous moniker) were conspicuously
differentiated as a bipedal hominid-approximation
(alternatively known as "peopum") by the 'system', requiring
differentiation, forbiddance and disentitlement of the
profession and avocation of advocate, ambulance chaser,
attorney, attorney-at-law, barrister, beagle, counsel,
counsellor, counselor, defender, fixer, jurisprudent,
jurist, legal adviser, legal eagle, legist, mouthpiece,
pettifogger, pleader, practitioner, proctor, procurator,
shyster and solicitor. A.K.A.: "Bruce" [1].
Now, put the fukken collar on Martha Stewart so we don't
have to endure the endless re-marketing and remaking of her
franchise.
[1] Steven Spielberg named the mechanical shark in "Jaws"
Bruce, after his lawyer.
Nick Bensema
That's not our nation's greatest linguistic problem.
Our nation's greatest linguistic problem is the lack of gender
symmetry in our terms for oral sex.
--
Nick Bensema <ni...@io.com> AIM: NBensema
==== ======= ============== http://www.io.com/~nickb/
Otto Bahn
> >If "persons" is the plural of "person", what is "people" the plural of?
"People" doesn't end in "s", and thus has no singular.
> That's not our nation's greatest linguistic problem.
Linguini is the plural of linguist.
> Our nation's greatest linguistic problem is the lack of gender
> symmetry in our terms for oral sex.
69.
--oTTo--
ynotssor
news:dfnirg$r3s$1...@gargoyle.oit.duke.edu
>>> If "persons" is the plural of "person", what is "people" the plural
>>> of?
>
> "People" doesn't end in "s", and thus has no singular.
"Hand me that couscou."
Otto Bahn
> >>> If "persons" is the plural of "person", what is "people" the plural
> >>> of?
> >
> > "People" doesn't end in "s", and thus has no singular.
>
> "Hand me that couscou."
Man, that don't count. That's a Middle Eastern word.
--oTTo--
ynotssor
>>>>> If "persons" is the plural of "person", what is "people" the
>>>>> plural of?
>>> "People" doesn't end in "s", and thus has no singular.
>>
>> "Hand me that couscou."
>
> Man, that don't count. That's a Middle Eastern word.
About as convincing ... NOT! ... as your other assertion:
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=peoples
...
3. pl. peo搆les A body of persons sharing a common religion, culture,
language, or inherited condition of life.
Adam Funk
Years ago a friend refused to allow me to use "sud" in Scrabble.
ynotssor
news:dfoscv$2693$1...@godfrey.mcc.ac.uk
>>>>> If "persons" is the plural of "person", what is "people" the
>>>>> plural of?
>>> "People" doesn't end in "s", and thus has no singular.
>> "Hand me that couscou."
>
> Years ago a friend refused to allow me to use "sud" in Scrabble.
You got friends?
Kitty Davis
"ynotssor" wrote:
> "Adam Funk" wrote:
>
>>>>>> If "persons" is the plural of "person", what is "people" the
>>>>>> plural of?
>>>> "People" doesn't end in "s", and thus has no singular.
>>> "Hand me that couscou."
>>
>> Years ago a friend refused to allow me to use "sud" in Scrabble.
>
> You got friends?
Well, not after that, obviously.
Otto Bahn
> >>>>> If "persons" is the plural of "person", what is "people" the
> >>>>> plural of?
> >>> "People" doesn't end in "s", and thus has no singular.
> >>
> >> "Hand me that couscou."
> >
> > Man, that don't count. That's a Middle Eastern word.
>
> About as convincing ... NOT! ... as your other assertion:
>
> http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=peoples
> ...
> 3. pl. peo搆les A body of persons sharing a common religion, culture,
> language, or inherited condition of life.
"Peoples" has an "s". "People" does not. "People" is
not the singular of "Peoples". "People" is, however,
one of those words that starts to look funny if you type
or read it several times in a short period.
Fish is a another interesting word. It is both singular
and plural. "I have caught only one fish, but I hope
to catch many more fish in the future."
--oTTo--
SummersFrenzy
> Fish is a another interesting word. It is both singular
> and plural. "I have caught only one fish, but I hope
> to catch many more fish in the future."
"Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't
tell them where they know the fish." --Samuel Clemens, aka Mark Twain
ynotssor
> "People" is, however,
> one of those words that starts to look funny if you type
> or read it several times in a short period.
That very aptly describes your posts.
Otto Bahn
> > "People" is, however,
> > one of those words that starts to look funny if you type
> > or read it several times in a short period.
>
> That very aptly describes your posts.
A fish flopping on the deck with a hook in its mouth
would describe yours.
YHBT. HTH. HAND.
--oTTo--
Greg Evans
>> That very aptly describes your posts.
>
> A fish flopping on the deck with a hook in its mouth
> would describe yours.
"Special Guest SRPOTW" describes yours.
Kevin S. Wilson
wrote:
So we can be expecting you to make with teh funn'i anytime now, right?
Greg Evans
>>> "People" is, however,
>>> one of those words that starts to look funny if you type
>>> or read it several times in a short period.
>> That very aptly describes your posts.
>
> So we can be expecting you to make with teh funn'i anytime now,
> right?
Don't bet on it - this is rec.humor we're talking about....
Greg Evans
By which I meant, of course, that we keep all the GOOD stuff to
ourselves, in non-crossposted threads. So nyaah nyaah nyaah!
ynotssor
news:o1t0i15v1hsbr8btf...@4ax.com
>>> "People" is, however,
>>> one of those words that starts to look funny if you type
>>> or read it several times in a short period.
>>
>> That very aptly describes your posts.
>
> So we can be expecting you to make with teh funn'i anytime now, right?
Don't hold yer breath, er, pal.
Crepe Suzette
news:3oangqF...@individual.net...
What, no friends ynotssor? Try a little less negativity and you might
possibly find one.
ynotssor
news:M6mdnTylwuM...@rogers.com
>>>>>>> If "persons" is the plural of "person", what is "people" the
>>>>>>> plural of?
>>>>> "People" doesn't end in "s", and thus has no singular.
>>>> "Hand me that couscou."
>>> Years ago a friend refused to allow me to use "sud" in Scrabble.
>>
>> You got friends?
>
> What, no friends ynotssor? Try a little less negativity and you might
> possibly find one.
Oh oh, another "high and mighy" posting in a humour newsgroup!