My annual bad-movie rant: the Disney version of "Mr. Magoo"
James Kibo Parry
Think how bad these movies were:
"Boris & Natasha" (sat on shelf over a year before release)
"Disney's George of the Jungle"
"Disney's Dudley Do-Right"
"Disney's Mr. Magoo"
(Hey, what do the last three films have in common? And watch out
for the forthcoming "Rocky & Bullwinkle", which is apparently being
underwritten by executives who don't remember "Boris & Natasha".)
I bring up this subject because I have just had the misfortune
to watch "Mr. Magoo". Now, I never liked the original cartoons
much. But at least they were cartoons. Disney's pathetic waste
of time wasn't a cartoon. It was Leslie Nielsen with half his
hair covered with a pink rubber bald cap.
Think about this:
In a cartoon, if Mr. Magoo accidentally stepped onto a snowboard,
he would go downhill at a million miles an hour, then soar hundreds
of feet in the air (passing over an airplane), zoom through the
White House, come out wearing Mamie Eisenhower's underwear, and
then knock over the Statue of Liberty, without spilling his tea.
In a live-action movie, if Mr. Magoo accidentally stepped onto a
snowboard, we'd see a close-up of Leslie Nielsen against a
bluescreen, then we'd see a professional snowboarder (with the
same wig) sliding downhill competently.
And I did just see that.
Oh dear, oh dear.
(I don't know why this movie included a snowboarding scene and a
bungee-jumping scene but not a jet-ski scene. That's only two
of the three sports you're required to have to be perfectly cool.)
Well, let's get down to the individual elements which guarantee
that "Mr. Magoo" sucks:
"MR. MAGOO"'S NINE DEGREES OF BADNESS
1.) The premise of this movie is that a nearly blind guy walks into
things a lot. That is the only joke. And I use the term "joke"
loosely. Hypothetically speaking, if Mr. Magoo kept falling
down because he was just clumsy (not blind), that would still be
not funny. If he keeps falling down because he's handicapped,
well, that's unfunny with a twist of evil.
There have been lots of other movies where, at certain points,
the director dropped the script and said, "Aw, hell, let's just
knock everything in the K-Mart over, one at a time!" ("Gremlins".
"It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World." "Smorgasbord".) But even
the least-inspired Jerry Lewis or Three Stooges vehicle
didn't try to get by on sheer clumsiness. And, hey, when Jerry
Lewis slips on a banana peel, it's because he's silly, not
because he's nearly blind.
Also, as the movie points out, Mr. Magoo would have functional
vision if only he'd go to an eye doctor, which means that he's
only acting handicapped due to choice. Imagine if the movie
was about a guy who kept falling down stairs in his wheelchair
because he was too stupid to realize that he could walk.
(Think how film history would have been different if Dr. Strangelove
kept falling down.)
2.) Okay, so Leslie Nielsen is the closest we can come to Jim Backus
with a live actor. But, even if the real Jim Backus had been
the one pretending to be riding that snowboard in front of the
bluescreen, he still couldn't have been a tenth as amusing as a
cartoon character with the voice of Jim Backus.
3.) The movie's other big action sequence involves Leslie Nielsen
going over a waterfall in a raft. As they deftly intercut
bluescreen close-ups of Leslie Nielsen (with blue fringes around
his head) with long shots of a tiny model raft, I started
singing the "Land of the Lost" theme song. I suspect many of
you also have the same reaction to shots of crude models going
over tiny fake waterfalls. (Apparently Disney no longer has the
money to do special effects any better than Sid & Marty Krofft
did in 1975.)
4.) Malcolm McDowell is in this movie. DANGER SIGN! DANGER SIGN!
And he's in about, oh, two scenes. DANGER SIGN! DANGER SIGN!
Malcolm McDowell is the world's cheapest bad-guy for hire (ever
notice how many cheap films have him as the villain? I mean, he
tends to appear in _video_games_ these days.) And when they
can't even get him to be in much of the film, well... ever seen
"Tank Girl"?
5.) As usual with all Disney comedies that are cranked out of their
massive crap factory, the attempt at a storyline is this: Jewel
thieves accidentally lose "The Star of Kuristan" (a rectangular
block of red plastic two inches across) and Mr. Magoo doesn't
realize he's carrying it around. (Given that it's supposed to
be the world's largest ruby, you'd think they would have looked
up what the world's largest ruby looked like. They do get a bit
bigger than that.) And as if the words "jewel thieves" aren't
enough to guarantee this movie will be tedious -- and that the
clever twist ending will be that the good guys get the jewel
back, surprise, surprise -- chew on this: When writers are
spinning their wheels looking for something to fill up those
ninety pages, they write in _two_ jewel thieves and pad out the
script with "intrigue", which is Hollywood-speak for having the
two jewel thieves argue with each other constantly and
double-cross each other ad nauseum.
This one has _three_ jewel thieves, plus an FBI agent and a CIA
agent, who are all trying to steal the ruby from Mr. Magoo.
While fighting with each other and trying to kill each other.
(The FBI guy fights with the CIA guy. Also, one of the jewel
thieves impersonates an FBI agent to further confuse the
three-year-olds in this movie's target audience.)
6.) Just to remind us how much better cartoons are than live-action
interpretations of cartoons, the movie opens and closes with
actual "Mr. Magoo" cartoons, sandwiching the part where Leslie
Nielsen walks around boring everyone. Maybe they should have
just held up a big sign saying, "HEY, DID YOU COME TO SEE THIS
MOVIE BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY LIKED THOSE OLD CARTOONS? TOO BAD,
SUCKER! THIS AIN'T YOUR FATHER'S MISTER MAGOO!"
7.) But wait! After the good guys get their chunk of red plastic
back (YAWN) and they show a short "Mr. Magoo" cartoon to
emphasize that Leslie Nielsen wasn't a cartoon, then... they...
they... um...
THEY SHOW A BIG TWO-PARAGRAPH APOLOGY FOR MAKING FUN OF BLIND
PEOPLE! It's a heartfelt written plea exhorting us to not laugh
at blind people as they accidentally step onto upside-down
ironing boards that they think are snowboards. Well, okay, it
doesn't exactly say that, but it _does_ tell us (in a screenful
of tiny, hard-to-read red letters) that visually-impaired people
are able to hold "a wide variety of jobs" (if I recall the
wording) and that we should never discriminate against people
with visual impairments.
However, they forgot to say anything about the one-legged Latino
villain or the midget dressed as a monkey.
8.) Did I mention the movie has a midget in a monkey suit? He's
supposed to be scary and funny at the same time. I think. (I
just kept thinking, "Gee, it must suck to be a little person in
Hollywood. You only get work if you wear the monkey-fur suit or
the leprechaun suit.")
9.) And, after they heroically reclaim the purloined plastic puck,
and we see a cartoon starring the animated character who isn't
Leslie Nielsen, and we see Disney's apology for the movie,
what's the ultimate capper to the perfect evening?
Why, bloopers from the making of the film, of course.
This is their way of acknowledging that nothing funny happened
when they were _trying_ to be funny, and that maybe these scenes
of actors forgetting their lines will be funnier than watching
them read from the lame script.
And, just in case watching Leslie Nielsen with a blank look on
his face isn't funny enough, then we see bloopers from the stunt
scenes. HO HO HO! THE GUY WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO LAND ON THE BACK
OF THE PLASTER DINOSAUR MISSED AND HIT THE FLOOR!
(It would be better if he fell on his face and poked his eyes
out, because then he'd be funny in _two_ ways. Three ways if he
also lost a leg or was a midget dressed like a monkey.)
To sum up, I don't think I found this movie to be a rollicking
laugh-a-minute romantic action comedy musical gabfest. I found it
to be a thing which had no effect other than to make the useful
portion of my life ninety minutes shorter.
I am now going to go down to Disney headquarters and demand the money
back for everyone who saw it in a theater. (I don't know what I'm
going to do with two hundred dollars, but it's the principle of the thing.)
-- K.
Plus there were probably some people
who walked out when it was shown on
airplanes, and did not land harmlessly
on top of a blimp that said "UPA".
robert lindsay
James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
>There has never been a good live-action movie based on a cartoon.
No arguement there.
>Think how bad these movies were:
>
>"Boris & Natasha" (sat on shelf over a year before release)
>"Disney's George of the Jungle"
Actually this wasn't all that bad. If you went in expecting something
as bad as Mr. Magoo you were almost plesantly surprised.
>"Disney's Dudley Do-Right"
>"Disney's Mr. Magoo"
>
>(Hey, what do the last three films have in common? And watch out
>for the forthcoming "Rocky & Bullwinkle", which is apparently being
>underwritten by executives who don't remember "Boris & Natasha".)
Their doing a live action Rocky and Bullwinkle? THE HORROR.
They'll probably get adam sandler to play bullwinkle.
>I bring up this subject because I have just had the misfortune
>to watch "Mr. Magoo". Now, I never liked the original cartoons
>much. But at least they were cartoons. Disney's pathetic waste
>of time wasn't a cartoon. It was Leslie Nielsen with half his
>hair covered with a pink rubber bald cap.
Yes, it really bit the big one, but you should stay tuned to the
Disney Channel for their 'Science' movies like 'Genius' and 'Smart
House'
>I am now going to go down to Disney headquarters and demand the money
>back for everyone who saw it in a theater. (I don't know what I'm
>going to do with two hundred dollars, but it's the principle of the thing.)
Bring your Giant H, and some Mentos.
--
Robert Lindsay, NASA - Goddard, Greenbelt MD rlin...@seadas.gsfc.nasa.gov
#include <standard_disclaimer.h> 301-286-9958 ISTJ Type 9
"I mean, if you're scared of NASA, that's like being afraid of wax paper."
-J. "Kibo" Parry, USENET, Jan 30, 1999 Should we talk about the weather? -REM
Jonathon Alsop
movie was hilarious and did stand on its own...
Jonathon
robert lindsay <rlin...@shark.gsfc.nasa.gov> wrote in message
news:2iRD3.18093$Dk7.4...@newscene.newscene.com...
> In article <kibo-14099...@192.168.1.100>,
> James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
> >There has never been a good live-action movie based on a cartoon.
>
> No arguement there.
>
<snip>
Simon de Vet
robert lindsay wrote:
> In article <kibo-14099...@192.168.1.100>,
> James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
>
> >(Hey, what do the last three films have in common? And watch out
> >for the forthcoming "Rocky & Bullwinkle", which is apparently being
> >underwritten by executives who don't remember "Boris & Natasha".)
>
> Their doing a live action Rocky and Bullwinkle? THE HORROR.
> They'll probably get adam sandler to play bullwinkle.
How is this going to work?
A man in a Moose suit is not the kind of material suited to Live Action.
A computer generated moose is not "Live Action"
A real moose is not funny, nor does it talk.
Shiro Akaishi
> In article <kibo-14099...@192.168.1.100>,
> James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
>
>
> >Think how bad these movies were:
> >
> >"Boris & Natasha" (sat on shelf over a year before release)
> >"Disney's George of the Jungle"
>
> as bad as Mr. Magoo you were almost plesantly surprised.
It surprised me a lot... Especially the Lion King parody they slipped in.
(WHOOSH-splop)
>
> >"Disney's Dudley Do-Right"
> >"Disney's Mr. Magoo"
> >
> >(Hey, what do the last three films have in common? And watch out
> >for the forthcoming "Rocky & Bullwinkle", which is apparently being
> >underwritten by executives who don't remember "Boris & Natasha".)
>
> Their doing a live action Rocky and Bullwinkle? THE HORROR.
> They'll probably get adam sandler to play bullwinkle.
And now the severe beating of a flying squirrel.
Bullwinkle: I bet you don't know what I got in my hat!
Rocky: Is it a lion!?
Bullwinkle: No, it's a baseball bat!
Rocky: What?!?!?!
<WHACK><SMASH><PUMMEL><POUND><INCONVENIENCE><FRAPPE>
> >I am now going to go down to Disney headquarters and demand the money
> >back for everyone who saw it in a theater. (I don't know what I'm
> >going to do with two hundred dollars, but it's the principle of the thing.)
>
> Bring your Giant H, and some Mentos.
Why don't they have professional Giant H fighting on TV? they could put
it on ESPN or something.
--
//\ ICQ: 26175196
(/__\
/). \.
/
Shiro Akaishi
> movie was hilarious and did stand on its own...
What wasn't a cartoon, silly silly. It was a comic book!
Samantha Ann Patterson
>
>
>A man in a Moose suit is not the kind of material suited to Live Action.
>A computer generated moose is not "Live Action"
>A real moose is not funny, nor does it talk.
>
... A moose once bit my sister...
(That was inevitable, and I don't even have a sister.)
-Samantha
The Avocado Avenger
>> >for the forthcoming "Rocky & Bullwinkle", which is apparently being
>> >underwritten by executives who don't remember "Boris & Natasha".)
>>
>> They'll probably get adam sandler to play bullwinkle.
>How is this going to work?
>A man in a Moose suit is not the kind of material suited to Live Action.
>A computer generated moose is not "Live Action"
>A real moose is not funny, nor does it talk.
I hope someone can explain to me this little nugget which is embedded in
my brain: Robert DeNiro was cast as Bullwinkle.
It's obvious I made this up, or dreamt it, or ate too much stinky cheese
or something.
Stacia * The Avocado Avenger * Life is a tale told by an idiot;
http://www.io.com/~stacia/ * Full of sound and fury,
There is no guacamole anywhere. * Signifying nothing.
Gordon
>
> I hope someone can explain to me this little nugget which is embedded in
> my brain: Robert DeNiro was cast as Bullwinkle.
> It's obvious I made this up, or dreamt it, or ate too much stinky cheese
> or something.
>
Robert DeNiro is cast in Bullwinkle as Fearless Leader, the head honcho
who gives Boris and Natasha their orders. Jason Alexander is cast as
Boris. I think moose is supposed to be CGI. Rocket J. Squirrel is
Rosie O'Donnel. O.K. I made that last one up.
-Gored
-go...@home.com
Patrick Freeman
> In article <37E00BCC...@istar.ca>, Simon de Vet <sde...@istar.ca> wrote:
> >
> >
> >A man in a Moose suit is not the kind of material suited to Live Action.
> >A computer generated moose is not "Live Action"
> >A real moose is not funny, nor does it talk.
> >
>
> ... A moose once bit my sister...
>
> (That was inevitable, and I don't even have a sister.)
>
> -Samantha
ACK! A very rare Monty Python reference!
That makes me want to go see the movie again
-patrick-
Patrick Freeman
> How about Mystery Men? I'm not familiar with the cartoon, but I thought the
> movie was hilarious and did stand on its own...
>
> Jonathon
>
> robert lindsay <rlin...@shark.gsfc.nasa.gov> wrote in message
> news:2iRD3.18093$Dk7.4...@newscene.newscene.com...
> > In article <kibo-14099...@192.168.1.100>,
> > James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
> > >There has never been a good live-action movie based on a cartoon.
> >
> > No arguement there.
> >
> <snip>
actually... Mystery Men is a comic book.
Patrick Freeman
> Simon de Vet <sde...@istar.ca> writes:
> >robert lindsay wrote:
> >> James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
> >>
> >> >(Hey, what do the last three films have in common? And watch out
> >> >for the forthcoming "Rocky & Bullwinkle", which is apparently being
> >> >underwritten by executives who don't remember "Boris & Natasha".)
> >>
> >> Their doing a live action Rocky and Bullwinkle? THE HORROR.
> >> They'll probably get adam sandler to play bullwinkle.
>
> >How is this going to work?
>
> >A man in a Moose suit is not the kind of material suited to Live Action.
> >A computer generated moose is not "Live Action"
> >A real moose is not funny, nor does it talk.
>
> I hope someone can explain to me this little nugget which is embedded in
> my brain: Robert DeNiro was cast as Bullwinkle.
> It's obvious I made this up, or dreamt it, or ate too much stinky cheese
> or something.
>
> Stacia * The Avocado Avenger * Life is a tale told by an idiot;
> http://www.io.com/~stacia/ * Full of sound and fury,
> There is no guacamole anywhere. * Signifying nothing.
You want to know what's really funny... Robert DeNiro is in the Rocky &
Bullwinkle live action movie. But not as Bullwinkle.
He is playing "Fearless Leader" Jason Alexander is playing Boris... And Rene
Ruso is playing Natasha..
I have no idea how their going to do "Moose and Squirrel"
WildCard
>
>> Their doing a live action Rocky and Bullwinkle? THE HORROR.
>
Rocky and Bullwinkle will be added in via CGI to the live action
movie. No idea who's doing the voices (they won't be same, sad to
say, due to the loss of both voice actors from the original).
Wayne
--
_ __ _ __ | I see the girls walk by dressed in
' ) / // / / ) / | their summer clothes, I have to turn
/ / / o // __/ / __. __ __/ | my head until my darkness goes...
(_(_/ <_</_(_/ (__/ (_/|_/ (_(_/_ | (wild...@io.com)
M. Otis Beard
WildCard wrote in message <7rra2a$c52$1...@hiram.io.com>...
>In article <37E00BCC...@istar.ca>, Simon de Vet <sde...@istar.ca> wrote:
>>robert lindsay wrote:
>>
>>> Their doing a live action Rocky and Bullwinkle? THE HORROR.
>>
>>How is this going to work?
>
>Rocky and Bullwinkle will be added in via CGI to the live action
>movie. No idea who's doing the voices (they won't be same, sad to
>say, due to the loss of both voice actors from the original).
Did you look between the cushions on the couch?
-M. Otis Beard
Jim Vandewalker
{ In article <37E0F1E8...@schoolcomputer.com>,
{ Patrick Freeman <pfre...@schoolcomputer.com> wrote:
{ >You want to know what's really funny... Robert DeNiro is in the Rocky &
{ >Bullwinkle live action movie. But not as Bullwinkle.
{ >He is playing "Fearless Leader" Jason Alexander is playing Boris... And Rene
{ >Ruso is playing Natasha..
{ >I have no idea how their going to do "Moose and Squirrel"
{
{ But I do know this: IT WILL MAKE FILM CRITICS CRY AND/OR QUIT THEIR JOBS.
{
Here's the official site: <http://upcomingmovies.com/rockyandbullwinkle.html>
Rocky was a GURL and is still alive; Bullwinkle ain't. Somebody named
KeithScott is doinghis voice. Rocky & Bullwinkle with be CGI by ILM.
Jim the DG
Nick Bensema
Patrick Freeman <pfre...@schoolcomputer.com> wrote:
>You want to know what's really funny... Robert DeNiro is in the Rocky &
>Bullwinkle live action movie. But not as Bullwinkle.
>He is playing "Fearless Leader" Jason Alexander is playing Boris... And Rene
>Ruso is playing Natasha..
>I have no idea how their going to do "Moose and Squirrel"
But I do know this: IT WILL MAKE FILM CRITICS CRY AND/OR QUIT THEIR JOBS.
--
Nick Bensema <ni...@io.com> ICQ#2135445
~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
holef...@webtv.net
>Samantha Ann Patterson wrote:
>>In article
>><37E00BCC...@istar.ca>, Simon
>>de Vet <sde...@istar.ca> wrote:
>>>A man in a Moose suit is not the kind of
>>>material suited to Live Action. A computer
>>>generated moose is not "Live Action" A
>>>real moose is not funny, nor does it talk.
>>>... A moose once bit my sister...
>>(That was inevitable, and I don't even
>>have a sister.) -Samantha
>ACK! A very rare Monty Python reference!
>That makes me want to go see the movie
>again -patrick-
Patrick, I had no idea you were a Python fan! All`s forgiven between us.
1.Which of their films do you enjoy the most?
2.Who`s your favorite member?
3.Do you think John looks better with or without a moustache?
Now come over here and put those delicate fingers on my buttocks.
Hell, you can even put your curiously long tongue in my mouth.(1)
Mr. Hole
(1)You know you want to
Patrick Freeman
> >>>A man in a Moose suit is not the kind of
> >>>material suited to Live Action. A computer
> >>>generated moose is not "Live Action" A
> >>>real moose is not funny, nor does it talk.
> >>>... A moose once bit my sister...
>
> >>(That was inevitable, and I don't even
> >>have a sister.) -Samantha
>
> >ACK! A very rare Monty Python reference!
> >That makes me want to go see the movie
> >again -patrick-
>
> Patrick, I had no idea you were a Python fan! All`s forgiven between us.
>
> 1.Which of their films do you enjoy the most?
>
> 2.Who`s your favorite member?
>
> 3.Do you think John looks better with or without a moustache?
>
> Now come over here and put those delicate fingers on my buttocks.
>
> Hell, you can even put your curiously long tongue in my mouth.(1)
>
>
> Mr. Hole
> (1)You know you want to
Ummm... I didn't know we were in bad standings with each other...
And after that last comment I'm not sure I would want to be in good
standings with you...
-patrick
Gharlane of Eddore
ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) writes:
>
> There has never been a good live-action movie based on a cartoon.
>
> Think how bad these movies were:
>
> "Boris & Natasha" (sat on shelf over a year before release)
> "Disney's George of the Jungle"
> "Disney's Dudley Do-Right"
> "Disney's Mr. Magoo"
>
> (Hey, what do the last three films have in common? And watch out
> for the forthcoming "Rocky & Bullwinkle", which is apparently being
> underwritten by executives who don't remember "Boris & Natasha".)
>
.....<deletia, about 170 lines ranting about "MISTER MAGOO" >
What on earth did you *EXPECT* ???
Leslie Nielson is from *CANADA*. To Candians, *hockey* is interesting.
To Canadians, fuzzy hats with ear-flaps are fashionable.
How could you expect a *CANADIAN* to make a funny movie?
Now, as for your ignorance-based hand-waving disposition of live-action
movies based on cartoons, *please* consider the all-time classic,
Mister Hal Needham's "THE VILLAIN," which deserved a number of Oscars,
and remember that Kirk Douglas did all his own stunt work, at an age
where most actors are complete has-beens who can't even walk, much
less act, and turned in one his most enjoyable comedic performances.
( Although "DRAW!" had a number of superior points, specifically
including Alexandra Bastedo, it was, after all, shot in Canada,
so we will overlook its existence for politeness' sake. )
And in reference to "BORIS & NATASHA," you haven't *seen* the movie they
originally turned in, since the studio panicked and cut out all of Sally
Kellerman's nude scenes and sex scenes ( and even at 55, the lady is a
total babe and a fine actress and comedienne! ) and thereby took the edge
off Charlie Martin Smith's wonderful direction.
...So don't let me hear you bad-mouthing Ms. Kellerman and "BORIS &
NATASHA." The only thing you can legitimately bad-mouth Ms. Kellerman
for is her "liberal" willingness to work in dramatized pro-gun-control
propaganda, and she doesn't do it all that often.
Note also that the in-current-release "DUDLEY DO-RIGHT" not only hews
religiously to the classic strictures of cartoon mayhem, but is
introduced by the very first *new* "Fractured Fairy Tale" in something
like three decades. Good, bad, makes no difference; they *DID* it,
and deserve our support for trying.
Brendan Fraser did very very well indeed as both "GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE"
and "DUDLEY DO-RIGHT," and deserves our respect as a serious thespian.
Besides, I enjoyed "THE MUMMY."
Rev'd PtR
[Someone who may or may not be called "Gharlane of Eddore"
<ghar...@ccshp1.ccs.csus.edu> In de Kaasbollistaanse
nieuwsgroepen > screeb: news:7rucs1$p...@news.csus.edu ...and set
the followup-to "alt.dev.null" - can you say "sassy!" or is that
what they mean by "snarky"? I'd like to know, really.]
> In <kibo-14099...@192.168.1.100>
> ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) writes:
> >
> > There has never been a good live-action movie based on a
cartoon.
FROM OUR "SOMETHING I ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW BUT DIDN'T CARE
ENOUGH TO LOOK IT UP DEPARTMENT"....
Were the "Pink Panther" movies with Peter Sellars made before
the cartoon or simultaneously with it?
Also: What about "Popeye", the only Robin Williams movie I've
been able to watch all the way through. I didn't even see "Carpe
Diem" or whatever that one movie of his was that everyone
subscribed to way back.
Short, shameful confession: I would go to a live-action movie
based on "Scooby Doo" if they paid me to.
But only if Casey Kasem played the part of Shaggy.
--
Rev'd PtR
Pausing to examine a dry stream bed, he
muses: "Nature is a complicated and layered repository of human
aspirations. It was a privilege to grow up in this landscape."
Jedediah Purdy
Marc Reeve
>In article <37E00BCC...@istar.ca>, Simon de Vet <sde...@istar.ca> wrote:
>>> Their doing a live action Rocky and Bullwinkle? THE HORROR.
>>How is this going to work?
>Rocky and Bullwinkle will be added in via CGI to the live action
>movie. No idea who's doing the voices (they won't be same, sad to
>say, due to the loss of both voice actors from the original).
>
she's still alive-n-kicking, and working. IMDB has her listed as doing
the voice of Rocky in the film in question.
Keith Scott, who is doing the voice of Bullwinkle, appears (from a very
shallow scan) to be the son of Bill Scott, who did the voice of Bullwinkle
originally. (Bill Scott's still alive, too... in fact, he wrote "The Phox,
The Box, and The Lox," the new Fractured Fairy Tale that is appearing along
with the execrable "Dudley Do-Right" movie.
So the voices of Rocky & Bullwinkle have a good chance of being well-done.
=Marc=
--
Marc Reeve: cAmE...@deepthOUGHt.armory.com <delete caps for real address>
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur
(Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
Michael S. Cooper
Marc Reeve <mailto:cmr...@deeptht.armory.com> wrote in message
news:n4CE3.34977$223.7...@typ12.nn.bcandid.com...
> Keith Scott, who is doing the voice of Bullwinkle, appears (from a very
> shallow scan) to be the son of Bill Scott, who did the voice of Bullwinkle
> originally. (Bill Scott's still alive, too... in fact, he wrote "The Phox,
> The Box, and The Lox," the new Fractured Fairy Tale that is appearing
along
> with the execrable "Dudley Do-Right" movie.
Just as a coda to this - Bill Scott was also the original voice of George of
the Jungle. I believe he even did the yell for Weird Al's remake of the
theme song. At least that's what I gleaned from the liner notes.
--
mscooper at flash dot net
TBone's House O' Screamin' Weasels!!
http://www.thosw.com/
Robert Whyte
wrote:
> In article <7rs0nh$q76$1...@hiram.io.com>, ni...@fnord.io.com (Nick Bensema) wrote:
>{ In article <37E0F1E8...@schoolcomputer.com>,
>{ Patrick Freeman <pfre...@schoolcomputer.com> wrote:
>{> You want to know what's really funny... Robert DeNiro is in the Rocky &
>{> Bullwinkle live action movie. But not as Bullwinkle.
>{> He is playing "Fearless Leader" Jason Alexander is playing Boris... And Rene
>{> Ruso is playing Natasha..
>{> I have no idea how their going to do "Moose and Squirrel"
>{ But I do know this: IT WILL MAKE FILM CRITICS CRY AND/OR QUIT THEIR JOBS.
> Here's the official site: <http://upcomingmovies.com/rockyandbullwinkle.html>
> Rocky was a GURL and is still alive; Bullwinkle ain't. Somebody named
> Keith Scott is doing his voice. Rocky & Bullwinkle with be CGI by ILM.
Cool. Keith Scott is an AMAZING Australian voice-over man and
impersonator. If anyone can get Bullwinkle's voice right, it'd be him.
Robert Whyte
Chris Costello
> Cool. Keith Scott is an AMAZING Australian voice-over man and
> impersonator. If anyone can get Bullwinkle's voice right, it'd be him.
What about that guy on the Outback Steakhouse commercials?
Isn't he the typical Australian?
> Robert Whyte
- Chris Costello <ch...@FreeBSD.org>
Leah Verre
quartz8...@nospamhotmail.com says...
> Now, I haven't seen Mr. Magoo, admitedly. Mainly because Leslie
> Neilson (sp?) has never really appealed to me as a comedic actor nor
> did I feel that he would be a 'good' Mr. Magoo. Nor was I interested
> in 'Boris & Natasha' I doubt I'll watch 'Rocky & Bullwinkle' unless
> it's computer animated or something.
>
> HOWEVER, I did like George of the Jungle. It was actually funnier than
> I thought it would be and it was goofy without being stupid. Brendan
> Fraser did a remarkable job and shows great promise for future films
> as a comedic slap-stick actor. It's just a damn shame he's too
> good-looking for his own good and probably won't be able to get a good
> dramatic lead. Am I complaining? No. He was pretty good in 'The Mummy'
> and I happened to like him in 'Dudley Do-Right.'
Do you ever notice that all of Brendan Fraser's films have the same plot?
>
> Some companies are entitled to make mistakes, Disney included. Heck,
> Disney's made so many mistakes in the past that they finally came out
> of their slump with 'Aladdin' even if the other movies they've
> produced since then haven't don't quite as well.
Yeah, okay. I can see your point.
Let's put it this way:
If you have twenty or so huge steaming piles of fly-attracting, vomit-
inducing dung which represent each animated movie Disney has churned out
since the second Rescuers movie, I suppose Aladdin would maybe be listed
as the pile that falls somewhere just above the most absolute stenchly
mound of them all.
> I guess my point is; leave George of the Jungle alone. Please? It was
> probably the best of the lot that you mentioned.
Okay, yeah. It was probably (and admittedly, I haven't seen more than
ten minutes of it, due to the fact that I prefer to actually be
entertained by movies when I view them) not as bad as, say, being jammed
in the eyes repeatedly by pointy sticks covered in lemon juice.
But the live-action movies are not anything that Disney considers to be
worth looking at reviews for, anyhow, I'm quite sure. They all have the
same plot, the same actors, and are made on a budget of about two and a
half dollars each. The whole point here is for Disney to rake in a few
bucks by cranking out conveyer-belt-in-Hades types of films so that they
can bankroll their animated catastrophes. And that whole concept of not
paying animators any money saves them even MORE dough!
YAAAAY!
Viva capitalism.
Mike Eisner will now send that mouse thing out to break my legs.
-L
Matrix Viking
Parry) wrote:
>There has never been a good live-action movie based on a cartoon.
>
>Think how bad these movies were:
>
>"Boris & Natasha" (sat on shelf over a year before release)
>"Disney's George of the Jungle"
>"Disney's Dudley Do-Right"
>"Disney's Mr. Magoo"
>
>(Hey, what do the last three films have in common? And watch out
>for the forthcoming "Rocky & Bullwinkle", which is apparently being
>underwritten by executives who don't remember "Boris & Natasha".)
>
>I bring up this subject because I have just had the misfortune
>to watch "Mr. Magoo". Now, I never liked the original cartoons
>much. But at least they were cartoons. Disney's pathetic waste
>of time wasn't a cartoon. It was Leslie Nielsen with half his
>hair covered with a pink rubber bald cap.
Now, I haven't seen Mr. Magoo, admitedly. Mainly because Leslie
Neilson (sp?) has never really appealed to me as a comedic actor nor
did I feel that he would be a 'good' Mr. Magoo. Nor was I interested
in 'Boris & Natasha' I doubt I'll watch 'Rocky & Bullwinkle' unless
it's computer animated or something.
HOWEVER, I did like George of the Jungle. It was actually funnier than
I thought it would be and it was goofy without being stupid. Brendan
Fraser did a remarkable job and shows great promise for future films
as a comedic slap-stick actor. It's just a damn shame he's too
good-looking for his own good and probably won't be able to get a good
dramatic lead. Am I complaining? No. He was pretty good in 'The Mummy'
and I happened to like him in 'Dudley Do-Right.'
Some companies are entitled to make mistakes, Disney included. Heck,
Disney's made so many mistakes in the past that they finally came out
of their slump with 'Aladdin' even if the other movies they've
produced since then haven't don't quite as well.
I guess my point is; leave George of the Jungle alone. Please? It was
probably the best of the lot that you mentioned.
Thank you.
Matrix Viking
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
God of Flirtation
Never Play Leapfrog With A Unicorn With A Serrated Edge
ICQ #3572860
Reaches into pocket, pulls out a grape pop and tucks it into his cheek.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Matrix Viking
<jal...@world.std.com> wrote:
>How about Mystery Men? I'm not familiar with the cartoon, but I thought the
>movie was hilarious and did stand on its own...
>
<snip>
>
>> >There has never been a good live-action movie based on a cartoon.
>>
>> No arguement there.
Mystery Men was hilarious. Well worth whatever coin you put into it.
E Teflon Piano
<le...@seanet.com> wrote:
}In article <37e44043...@news.viser.net>,
}quartz8...@nospamhotmail.com says...
}> HOWEVER, I did like George of the Jungle. It was actually funnier than
}> I thought it would be and it was goofy without being stupid. Brendan
}> Fraser did a remarkable job and shows great promise for future films
}> as a comedic slap-stick actor. It's just a damn shame he's too
}> good-looking for his own good and probably won't be able to get a good
}> dramatic lead. Am I complaining? No. He was pretty good in 'The Mummy'
}> and I happened to like him in 'Dudley Do-Right.'
}
}Do you ever notice that all of Brendan Fraser's films have the same plot?
}
Also, did you notice that GotJ's big contribution to the science of
comedy was a wee-wee joke, where the whiz gets delivered by an
elephant?
--
Institute for Misapplied Psychometry fellow E Teflon Piano is founder of the
Internet 'Lectronic Legal Society. Teflon is a mark owned by duPont. E is E
poly(TFE) Piano Enterprises' [dibs] for ironic hyperbole and elitist satire.
ŠE[dibs] 1994-1999
This line is to trigger the YA-NewsWatcher .sig-nanny
holef...@webtv.net
>holef...@webtv.net wrote:
Don`t be coy with me Patrick.
>And after that last comment I'm not sure I
>would want to be in good standings with
>you...
>-patrick
Have I told you how much I love it when you coddle me?
P.S. Please answer my questions regarding Monty Python.
Mr. Hole
This post may cause DROWSINESS, ALCOHOL may intensify this effect, use
care when operating dangerous machinery.
After decades of telepaths who look like they are trying to fart
silently, Virginia Hey finally shows them how it should be
done.-alt.tv.farscape
How's your hole..........family?
sulfanilamide
Joe Pfeiffer
when I've laughed so hard at a movie. John Cleese was hysterical.
--
Joseph J. Pfeiffer, Jr., Ph.D. Phone -- (505) 646-1605
Department of Computer Science FAX -- (505) 646-1002
New Mexico State University http://www.cs.nmsu.edu/~pfeiffer
upcomin...@my-deja.com
jim...@gate.net (Jim Vandewalker) wrote:
> Here's the official site:
<http://upcomingmovies.com/rockyandbullwinkle.html>
Just a note here to make sure there's no misunderstanding.
Upcomingmovies.com's site linked above is *not* the official site of
"The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle". Upcomingmovies.com is an
independent web site that provides preview information and commentary on
films heading to theaters in the next year, but the previews should not
be misunderstood as being "official".
The address of Universal Pictures' official site for the film is in
fact:
http://www.universalpictures.com/rockyandbullwinkle/
I hope this helps clear things up before they get confused. :)
Cheers,
Greg Dean Schmitz
Upcomingmovies.com
gr...@upcomingmovies.com
http://upcomingmovies.com/
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Share what you know. Learn what you don't.
David Pacheco
le...@seanet.com says...
> But the live-action movies are not anything that Disney considers to be
> worth looking at reviews for, anyhow, I'm quite sure.
Agreed...
> They all have the
> same plot,
agreed...
> the same actors,
agreed...
> and are made on a budget of about two and a
> half dollars each.
...but here is where the goldfish of agreement gets eaten by the piranha
of violent contradictory opinion. You see, this would make *sense*, if
only from a capitalistic, world-domination point of view. Yeah! Crank
out the cheapo crap, SOME of it is bound to make some money, more moolah
for us to buy the future!
Unfortunately, it breaks down somewhere along the line, and these bland
movies with the same plot, the same actors, the same scenery, the exact
same people working behind the scenes... they all end up costing about
$120 million EACH. That's just production costs, not including
distribution and advertising. It's all wonderfully creative accounting,
but you should hear some of the stories from the production people about
money that gets thrown away daily on the set, amounts in the tens to
hundreds of thousands of dollars PER DAY. And I do mean "thrown away"
here, not regular film running costs like film or cocaine.
> The whole point here is for Disney to rake in a few
> bucks by cranking out conveyer-belt-in-Hades types of films so that they
> can bankroll their animated catastrophes. And that whole concept of not
> paying animators any money saves them even MORE dough!
If you're a lead animator for a major character, you can earn pretty
decent money. But that takes quite some time to build up to, and until
then you're working as an in-betweener, for peanuts. And Disney doesn't
care if you're allergic, either.
To return to topic, "Mr. Magoo" was possibly the most execrable
collection of images on celluloid (I find it hard to call it a 'film' or
a 'movie') ever produced. Disney should be ashamed, and I don't say
that for any politically-correct reason: it was just *that* *bad*, for
the same reasons I expect "Inspector Gadget" to suck.
-dp.
Jim Vandewalker
<peter_...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>FROM OUR "SOMETHING I ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW BUT DIDN'T CARE
>ENOUGH TO LOOK IT UP DEPARTMENT"....
>
>
> Were the "Pink Panther" movies with Peter Sellars made before
>the cartoon or simultaneously with it?
>
The original Pink Panther movie was a semi-serious "caper" movie with
David Niven as a retired jewel thief living in Monte Carlo. Peter
Sellers just got thrown in as the bumbling police inspector. The
cartoon was developed for the opening credits and then, like Clouseau,
took on a life of its own. The McGuffin in the movie was a fabulously
valuable jewel that had a flaw at its center that looked like a pink
panther.
Sellers died of a heart attack (IYKWIM) during the filiming of the
umpty-umpth Pink Panther movie (Blake Edwards finished it up by using
stock footage of Bela Lugosi and long shots of Martin Landau), but the
panther lived on and sold out to a multi-national mega-corporation and
regularly appears on TeeVee selling insulation.
--
Jim the Dead Guy