Uwe Boll writes back! And says almost part of a sentence!
James Kibo Parry
-> From: UBoll...@aol.com
-> Date: Fri, 16 Jun 2006 12:22:21 EDT
-> Subject: Re: I openly mocked the brilliance of Uwe Boll in 2005...
->
-> age, size , jpeg
Hmm, apparently there are some new restrictions. I guess now there
are age limits and height limits and he only wants handsome guys.
So this makes me think really this is the same as Andy Kaufman's
wrestling matches, except gay -- he's looking for a boyfriend
to rub his duct tape against in public. Ewwwwww.
I shall compose an equally coy, also in sentences of one word.
Let's see if he's serious. I'm ready to fight if he's ready
to pick some rules and stop listing nouns.
(Gosh, with writing skills like that -- remember, Dr. Boll's doctorate
is in literature -- one wonder why anyone _would_ have openly mocked
him in 2005!)
-- K.
Have I wandered into a
"Traumschiff Surprise"
sequel, or is this going
to be gayer than that?
Bryce Utting
> -> From: UBoll...@aol.com
> ->
> -> age, size , jpeg
>
> Hmm, apparently there are some new restrictions. I guess now there
> are age limits and height limits and he only wants handsome guys.
... but he didn't ask about your -height-, he asked about your -size-.
you might need to do the conversion to European clothing sizes for
him, though.
and, er, Kibo? no-one's called you ugly.
out of those who've MET you, or seen PHOTOS of you, at any rate.
have you considered the possibility that this is an elaborate troll
with the aim being nothing more than capturing your face on film and
releasing it to the (surely enormous) Uwe Boll following?
> So this makes me think really this is the same as Andy Kaufman's
> wrestling matches, except gay -- he's looking for a boyfriend
> to rub his duct tape against in public. Ewwwwww.
>
> I shall compose an equally coy, also in sentences of one word.
> Let's see if he's serious. I'm ready to fight if he's ready
> to pick some rules and stop listing nouns.
suggestion: point out that you've been studying all of legendary
wrestler Andy Kaufman's trick moves. (Laurie Anderson talks about
wrestling Kaufman [no mention of frotting] in one of the tracks of The
Ugly One With The Jewels, incidentally.)
I'm guessing that Boll's too much of a WIMP to fight anyone who isn't
a GURL.
butting
--
I am very new to programming drivers so if I sound un-knowledgeable
then it's because I am.
-- first4internet's Ceri Coburn on writing Sony's DRM rootkit
James Kibo Parry
>
> have you considered the possibility that this is an elaborate troll
> with the aim being nothing more than capturing your face on film and
> releasing it to the (surely enormous) Uwe Boll following?
Fact-checking:
[www.gamespot.com]
->
-> Today, GameSpot contacted Boll's recently-hired-but-already-
-> weary-sounding publicist to inquire if the release on Skewed &
-> Reviewed was indeed the real thing. "Here is the press release
-> that you requested," was the sum of the terse e-mail response,
-> which came with a complete version of the release attached.
So, it's not a hoax, unless the entire Internet is in on it except
for me, which isn't possible, because I'm the only one who sets up
hoaxes like that.
Aww, he's already starting to dial it down:
[www.gamespot.com]
=>
=> [...]
=>
=> However, when asked by GameSpot how he planned to train for five
=> 10-round fights in two days, Boll said the press release was
=> mistaken, adding "Three rounds should be enough per fight."
I hope they're not hollowpoint rounds.
Three rounds (against each of five men) sounds like a much more
realistic number, especially given that most of us won't have
the boxing experience that Dr. Boll does. He's heavier and
more experienced than me (in other words, I'm skinny and I have
no experience) so I'm certainly not going to ask for ten rounds.
> > Let's see if he's serious. I'm ready to fight if he's ready
> > to pick some rules and stop listing nouns.
>
> suggestion: point out that you've been studying all of legendary
> wrestler Andy Kaufman's trick moves.
I said I was serious, not a pervert. Perversions should stay outside
the boxing ring, or possibly under it where there's a nice dark space.
He's written back, again with part of a sentence demanding my picture.
I'm drafting a long reply explaining that I will need to see some
detailed legal paperwork about rights and responsibilities and
liabilities before turning over anything such as a photo that
could be used for publicity. I need answers to questions about how
this fight will be conducted -- it would be stupid for me to commit
before he's even settled questions like "Will we wear head protection?",
"Who will be the referee?", "What medical services will be provided?",
"How many plane tickets?", etc.
He has a history of suing people he's attempted to do _friendly_
business with (he sued both the distributor and the star of "Bloodrayne"
this week, some have hypothesized that this announcement of the
boxing challenge is to distract from that.) And, given that the
rules of the match are either changing or unspecified, at this point
it's up to him to tell people exactly what they're committing to
(and what he's committing to) before we agree to get punched or
waste time training for a fight that I still think is unlikely
to actually happen. And I certainly don't want to commit to
something and then get sued if I somehow manage to win.
He certainly sounds like he's willing to fight me (even though I
didn't quite meet the original entry requirements -- I guess
he's short on victims), and I'm willing to fight him, but "I'm
willing" is different from "I know it's guaranteed to happen".
There are still a lot of unknowns, and the question now is
whether he's going to do the necessary legal work to ensure
that it _can_ happen.
Anyway, what should I ask to see in a contract/waiver before
agreeing to fight him?
-- K.
This may be the stupidest
thing I've ever gotten
myself into. Isn't it great?
It's like "Fight Club"
except weird!
Bryce Utting
>> wrestler Andy Kaufman's trick moves.
>
> I said I was serious, not a pervert.
is there any difference between "serious" and "perverted" for German
crapfest-film directors?
besides, it's only a tip-off to perversion if he knows enough about
Kaufman. if he knows ANYTHING about Kaufman, he'll probably be
expecting Foreign Man.
> He's written back, again with part of a sentence demanding my picture.
> I'm drafting a long reply explaining that I will need to see some
> detailed legal paperwork about rights and responsibilities and
> liabilities before turning over anything such as a photo that
> could be used for publicity. I need answers to questions about how
> this fight will be conducted -- it would be stupid for me to commit
> before he's even settled questions like "Will we wear head protection?",
> "Who will be the referee?", "What medical services will be provided?",
> "How many plane tickets?", etc.
question #1 should be who will own what rights to the event. though
given that it's a look-at-me publicity stunt on his part, he's
probably assuming HAW HAW ALL PHOTOS AND FOOTAGE WILL BE MINE AND
THESE SUCKERS ARE MY BITCHES and raising the question will undoubtedly
turn him CHICKEN again.
> He has a history of suing people he's attempted to do _friendly_
> business with (he sued both the distributor and the star of "Bloodrayne"
> this week, some have hypothesized that this announcement of the
> boxing challenge is to distract from that.) And, given that the
> rules of the match are either changing or unspecified, at this point
> it's up to him to tell people exactly what they're committing to
> (and what he's committing to) before we agree to get punched or
> waste time training for a fight that I still think is unlikely
> to actually happen. And I certainly don't want to commit to
> something and then get sued if I somehow manage to win.
assuming you win, the best course of action would be to immediately
sue him for failing to create a significant public event -- thus
depriving you of publicity and associated earnings -- by beating you.
FLAWLESS VICTORY!
> Anyway, what should I ask to see in a contract/waiver before
> agreeing to fight him?
joined-up writing. the first draft'll be in crayon, I betcha.
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > This may be the stupidest thing I've ever gotten myself into.
>
That's right, Terri, you are Tyler Durden. Shame on you for being a
guy like that, making us other alienated macho guys in a modern world
feel we must experience the feeling of being alive by entering a
fight we know we'll lose. The butterflies in my stomach feel great
because now I am alive, dammit. Here and now, the butterflies are
telling me that I'm finally part of something where the stupidity
is bigger than myself!
It's only boxing, Terri. It's just hockey, but without the hockey.
> Terri-I cannot believe you would actually do this.
You don't know me very well. Would I risk suffering intense pain for
a chance to hurt someone who's asking to be hurt? Hell yeah.
IT'S ONLY PAIN, and a small chance of another concussion that'll
make me a genius or whatever concussions do, I used to know but
I don't memember so good Batman. I will try not to let him pound
the top of my head against any car door frames 'cause that's
the worst type of concussion, in my experience.
Again, this is all on the condition that when I see something approaching
a legal contract it'll be something that doesn't raise any obvious
red flags. I'm still assuming that it's likely that for some reason
or another, the event will not be held, or the terms will preclude
anyone as sane as me from agreeing to it. But I will go through with
it if he's smart enough to be able to set this event up to eliminate
any outstanding issues. The person I've chosen to play my manager
agrees with me that I shall not commit to fustigation without some
consultation regarding potential litigation.
-- K.
How come nobody ever noticed that
Project Mayhem is a total rip-off
of Kibo's Do What I Say Club?
Bryce Utting
> Project Mayhem is a total rip-off
> of Kibo's Do What I Say Club?
because we only do as you say and you never SAID to notice that! HOW
were we supposed to notice if you never TOLD us to, HUH?
butting (YAY for RANDom CAPS!)
Eb Oesch
> This may be the stupidest thing I've ever gotten myself into.
I don't need to physically see Uwe's movies with my eyes, or put them
under a microscope, or burn them and subject them to gas
chromatography, to know that they're great. Where's the wonder in
that? Of course these movie skeptics don't like his movies, because
they don't understand how the movies should be experienced. But I have
faith in Uwe Boll's films. I can contemplate the mystery of their
being and approach a state of rapture.
If you can't arrange to fight Uwe Boll, maybe you could fight
me. That's right, I am willing to fight to defend my faith in Uwe's
movies, and I have faith in my boxing abiliy too. But since Boston is
like ten thousand miles away, maybe we could try Internet boxing. To
do it right, we'd need Macromedia Flash, a soundtrack, a big intro,
graphics that appear okay in the screen shots, and game play that is
less flexible than a typical 1979 handheld LED video game. It would be
even better if the game play were basically random, because I'm not
much good at video games. For instance, both players could choose to
attack high, medium, or low, and high beats medium and medium beats
low but low beats high by ducking underneath, so it's Roshambo with a
skin of total macho awesomeness. And then once I have proven the
correctness of my views by kicking your ass, Uwe could turn the game
into the best movie ever.
Also, I have switched to using a single space between sentences. Keep
your eye out for additional frequent style changes that will keep my
content fresh and in tune with contemporary Internet standard colors,
hem lines, and tie thicknesses.
Look at me! I'm on the Internet making fun of the Internet! Please,
somebody kick me, hard. If I'm going to miss out on weather like this
because I have to do work, then I should be working dammit.
dogsnus
news:kibo-17060...@10.0.1.2:
> dogsnus (dog...@micron.net) wrote:
>>
>> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
>> >
>> > This may be the stupidest thing I've ever gotten myself into.
>>
>> Groan. And we helped.
>
> That's right, Terri, you are Tyler Durden.
Do you know I have never seen that movie? I always seem to miss
it when it's on the tv for some reason or another.
The butterflies in my stomach feel great
> because now I am alive, dammit. Here and now, the butterflies are
> telling me that I'm finally part of something where the stupidity
> is bigger than myself!
A guy has to do what a guy has to do.
You will need some courthouse steps, a chicken and a side of butchered
beef for training. I dunno about the raw eggs thing though what with the
risks of salmonella.
Terri
Placing a bet on Kibo to win by a nose.
--
Things you don't want to hear Spock say . . .
"The library computer reports that another Microsoft security update is
available for installation."
pete
> You don't know me very well. Would I risk suffering intense pain for
> a chance to hurt someone who's asking to be hurt? Hell yeah.
The thing to remember, is that you're not a boxer,
so if you fight dirty, you have no credibility to lose.
If Joanie Chyna Laurer had remembered that much,
then the Butafuco fight might have been a lot better.
--
pete
Mark Edwards
>Terri
>Placing a bet on Kibo to win by a nose.
HA! In all the pictures I've seen of Kibo, he has no nose! So you
LOSE.
FACELESS VICTORY!
Mark Edwards
--
Proof of Sanity Forged Upon Request
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > How come nobody ever noticed that Project Mayhem is a total rip-off
> > of Kibo's Do What I Say Club?
>
> because we only do as you say and you never SAID to notice that! HOW
> were we supposed to notice if you never TOLD us to, HUH?
DO NOT NOTICE I AM USING MORE CAPITALS THAN YOU
> butting (YAY for RANDom CAPS!)
I still think the English language is ready to develop Thirdcase,
the thing which is to capitals as capitals are to lowercase.
After all, it's been centuries since uncials and decorative initials
collided and mutated into lowercase and capitals. The language is
due for a new level of capitalization beyond capitalization.
Thirdcase. It'll be shoutacular.
I will pay one Imaginary Internet Dollar to the first person who
draws a picture of what Thirdcase looks like, so that I can then
draw a better version to shame and humiliate them.
-- K.
DO NOT NOTICE THAT
ANYONE COULD WIN BY
CREATING FOURTHCASE
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > dogsnus (dog...@micron.net) wrote:
> > >
> > > James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> > > >
> > > > This may be the stupidest thing I've ever gotten myself into.
> > >
> > > Groan. And we helped.
> >
> > That's right, Terri, you are Tyler Durden.
>
> Do you know I have never seen that movie? I always seem to miss
> it when it's on the tv for some reason or another.
You want to watch "Fight Club" on TEE VEE? Aw, man, shame on you.
Watching "Fight Club" on TV is like watching "2001" on an iPod
or watching "A Clockwork Orange" in church or watching "Deuce Bigalow:
European Gigolo" with your eyes open. It's just plain wrong.
For the proper experience, you should buy the most expensive DVD
you can of "Fight Club", then take it from its packaging and stare
at the shiny part reverently until you accept "Fight Club" into
your heart, then kiss the DVD and put it into a new DVD player
you bought just for "Fight Club" and will destroy the moment the
movie ends.
Or just watch "Brazil" instead. It's the same movie, only parts
of "Ichi The Killer" are the parts of "Fight Club" that aren't "Brazil".
They're all the same movie because they're all good and scientists
have demonstrated that there is only one sort of goodness, so just
watch any good movie and then you can say you've seen everything.
-- K.
I bet you have the version
of "Hero" where Jet Li was
dubbed by Wally Cox.
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry wrote:
> >
> > This may be the stupidest thing I've ever gotten myself into.
>
> I don't need to physically see Uwe's movies with my eyes, or put them
> under a microscope, or burn them and subject them to gas
> chromatography, to know that they're great. Where's the wonder in
> that? Of course these movie skeptics don't like his movies, because
> they don't understand how the movies should be experienced. But I have
> faith in Uwe Boll's films. I can contemplate the mystery of their
> being and approach a state of rapture.
I think you misspelled "Samuel L. Jackson".
> If you can't arrange to fight Uwe Boll, maybe you could fight
> me. That's right, I am willing to fight to defend my faith in Uwe's
> movies, and I have faith in my boxing abiliy too. But since Boston is
> like ten thousand miles away, maybe we could try Internet boxing. To
> do it right, we'd need Macromedia Flash, a soundtrack, a big intro,
> graphics that appear okay in the screen shots, and game play that is
> less flexible than a typical 1979 handheld LED video game. It would be
> even better if the game play were basically random, because I'm not
> much good at video games. For instance, both players could choose to
> attack high, medium, or low, and high beats medium and medium beats
> low but low beats high by ducking underneath, so it's Roshambo with a
> skin of total macho awesomeness. And then once I have proven the
> correctness of my views by kicking your ass, Uwe could turn the game
> into the best movie ever.
I challenge you to a typical '70s entirely-mechanical video game.
That's right, I'm gonna Blip your ass!
> Also, I have switched to using a single space between sentences. Keep
> your eye out for additional frequent style changes that will keep my
> content fresh and in tune with contemporary Internet standard colors,
> hem lines, and tie thicknesses.
You're still choosing individual colors? How droll. Everyone knows
that sophisticated people never choose a color independently of
architecting a "color story".
My color story is based on a video game. And that game is... Blip!
Believe it... or not!
> Look at me! I'm on the Internet making fun of the Internet! Please,
> somebody kick me, hard. If I'm going to miss out on weather like this
> because I have to do work, then I should be working dammit.
DAMMIT YOU'RE RUINING THIS FIGHT CLUB FOR EVERYONE
-- K.
I just posted this
because I wanted to
call dibs on "Blip:
The Movie" before
any mad Germans did.
Bryce Utting
> the thing which is to capitals as capitals are to lowercase.
> After all, it's been centuries since uncials and decorative initials
> collided and mutated into lowercase and capitals. The language is
> due for a new level of capitalization beyond capitalization.
> Thirdcase. It'll be shoutacular.
>
> I will pay one Imaginary Internet Dollar to the first person who
> draws a picture of what Thirdcase looks like,
oh, that's easy:
no responsibility accepted for brane damage caused by exposure to
content, etc.
> so that I can then draw a better version to shame and humiliate
> them.
what?! and damage OUR branes?
butting
David DeLaney
>No cluons were harmed when dogsnus <dog...@micron.net> wrote:
>>Terri
>>Placing a bet on Kibo to win by a nose.
>
>HA! In all the pictures I've seen of Kibo, he has no nose!
...Then ... how does he _smell_?
>So you LOSE.
>
>FACELESS VICTORY!
Dave "or perhaps you just weren't identifying his facial feature(s) correctly?"
DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
dogsnus
> dogsnus (dog...@micron.net) wrote:
>>
>> Do you know I have never seen that movie? I always seem to miss
>> it when it's on the tv for some reason or another.
>
> You want to watch "Fight Club" on TEE VEE? Aw, man, shame on you.
> Watching "Fight Club" on TV is like watching "2001" on an iPod
> or watching "A Clockwork Orange" in church or watching "Deuce Bigalow:
> European Gigolo" with your eyes open. It's just plain wrong.
Oh nose! You're such a guy! You're probably also one of those people
that thinks "2001" should be seen on a big screen TV with surround sound
sitting in a chair from Neiman Marcus that keeps your beer cold and has a
built in bathroom in it when everyone knows the proper way to watch 2001
SO is on a Dick Tracy tv screen wrist watch while pressing down on the
fast forward button.
> For the proper experience, you should buy the most expensive DVD
> you can of "Fight Club", then take it from its packaging and stare
> at the shiny part reverently until you accept "Fight Club" into
> your heart, then kiss the DVD and put it into a new DVD player
> you bought just for "Fight Club" and will destroy the moment the
> movie ends.
But how do you VIEW it?
Terri
Tim Chmielewski
> This just in: (E-mail address bleeped to protect his privacy.)
>
> -> From: UBoll...@aol.com
> -> Date: Fri, 16 Jun 2006 12:22:21 EDT
> -> Subject: Re: I openly mocked the brilliance of Uwe Boll in 2005...
> ->
> -> age, size , jpeg
>
Sounds like he's organising a mutinity of preverts to me!
I like the press listing on his website, what's "sucks" in German?
Presseberichte
Sie können sich hier verschiedene Presseberichte der Boll
Kinobeteiligungs-GmbH & Co. KG als PDF-Datei herunterladen.
Den Acrobat-Reader zum Lesen der PDF-Datei gibt's als Freeware hier.
König des Trash
(Playboy / 02-2006)
Fonds suchen privates Anlagekapital
(Welt am Sonntag / 05.02.2006)
"Ein Wort ist bei ihm ein Wort"
(Journal der Rhein-Main Presse / 28.01.2006)
Uwe Boll im Dickicht der Filmkunst
(Moviestar / Nr. 2 2006)
Doktor Trash
(Financial Times Deutschland / 26.01.2006)
Horror weiter angesagt
(Moviestar / Nr. 1 2006)
Bloodrayne
(Science Fiction Stars / Nr. 1 2006)
Neunte Boll KG: Garantiekonzept ...
(ASS Compact / Dezember 2005)
Interview mit Kristana Loken
(UMM-Magazine / December 2005)
Uwe Boll - Der Deutsche in Hollywood ist voll in Action
(DVD Special / Dezember 2005)
Boller-Orgie nach Spiele-Hit
(DVD Special / Dezember 2005)
"Ich besetze Nebenrollen gern mit Stars!"
(DVD Special / Dezember 2005)
Alone in the Dark
(DVD Magazin / November 2005)
"Ich glaub` das erst, wenn`s durch ist"
(FAZ / 10.11.2005)
Wer investiert, darf im Film mitspielen
(Frankfurter Rundschau / 2.11.2005)
Alone in the Dark - Videospiel-Adaptionen stehen hoch im Kurs
(DVD Vision / Nr. 12 2005)
Alone in the Dark - Neues vom Meister des Horror-Trash
(TV Highlight / Nr. 11 2005)
Erstmals Garantiekonzept mit "Sicherheitsfallschirm"
(Fondsprofessionell / 20.10.2005)
Die Schöne und der Vampirclan / Alone in the Dark - Uwe Boll Filme sind
nie langweilig
(Moviestar / Nr. 6 2005)
Erfolgskonzept - Video-Spiel als Film
(Cash / Nr. 11 2005)
Spezialeffekte made in Hessen
(Frankfurter Rundschau / 10.10.2005)
Dr. Boll polarisiert - eigene Erfolge nachweisbar
(Finanzwelt / Nr. 5 2005)
Trikot-Sponsor aus der Filmbranche
(Main-Post / 23.9.2005)
Ein Smalltalk mit Burt Reynolds
(Main-Post / 9.9.2005)
Boll freut sich wie Bolle über schöne Eva
(Kölner Express / 1.8.2005)
Vom Eisverkäufer zum Filmkrieger
(Mainpost / 30.7.2005)
Eva Padberg: Jetzt geht sie nach Hollywood!
(Bild.de / 7.6.2005)
Girls, Games & Serienhits - Die Kinotrends
(TV Movie / Nr. 13 2005)
Auszug der erfolgreichsten Independent-Filme
(DVD Vision / Juni 2005)
Vorsicht Vampire
(TV Movie / Nr. 11 2005)
Heart of America
(Widescreen / Mai 2005)
Hollywood will doch nur spielen
(Cinema / Mai 2005)
Deutsche in Hollywood
(TV Movie / Nr. 7-2005)
Hollywood-Film aus Rhein-Main
(Mainzer Zeitung / 26.2.2005)
Würmer am Rückgrat der Welt
(Süddeutsche Zeitung / 1.3.2005)
Alone in the Dark
(Widescreen / März 2005)
Die Horror-KG
(Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung / 27.2.2005)
Alone in the Dark, Bloodrayne, Dungeon Siege
(Playstation Magazin / 4-2005)
Alone in the Dark
(Mädchen / 35-2005)
Schaurig-schöne Game-Verfilmung
(SKIP - Das Kinomagazin / Februar 2005)
Alone in the Dark
(TV Direkt / 2-2005)
Atari Klassiker: Tara Reid ist (nicht ganz) allein im Dunkel
(entscheidung.de / 2-2005)
Düstere Verfilmung des Videospiels
(Bravo / 8-2005)
Games auf der Leinwand
(SFT / 3-2005)
Deutsche Horror-Wertarbeit
(L.O.S. / 2-2005)
Gänsehaut inbegriffen
(KING magazin / 2-2005)
Alone in the Dark
(TV Movie / Nr. 4-2005)
Bitte recht blutig
(PC Aktion / 3-2005)
All-Star Cast signs on for ... Bloodrayne?
(Game Informer / 2-2005)
Menschen, Monster, Mutationen
(Moviestar / 2-2005)
Regisseur stellt neuen Thriller vor
(Main-Post / 17.2.2005)
Kinostars das Gruseln gelehrt
(Kölner Stadtanzeiger / 7.1.2005)
Direkt vom Erzeuger
(Die Welt / 30.12.2004)
Medienfonds - Nachlassendes Dezemberfieber
(Scope Investmentreport / 12-2004)
Auferstehung der Digital-Vampire
(Rheinzeitung / 17.12.2004)
Schnelle Lösung der steuerlichen Förderung gefordert
(filmzeitung.de / 29.11.2004)
Medienfonds - Verkaufsfördernde Panne
(euro / Nr. 12 - 2004)
Eichel vertreibt Filmemacher aus Deutschland
(Die Entscheidung Nr. 11/2004)
Dieser Mann dreht mit den größten Stars
(Bild am Sonntag / 07.11.2004)
Guthofstraße statt Hollywood-Boulevard
(General-Anzeiger / 19.10.2004)
Steuervorteil vernebelt den Blick auf Risiken
(Financial Times Deutschland vom 19.10.2004)
Genrespezialist sichert sich Top-Besetzung
(Blickpunkt Film Nr. 34/04)
Eine gruselige Burg gibt es für 5.000 Euro pro Woche
(Stuttgarter Zeitung vom 15.10.2004)
Internationale Filme mit Regionaleffekt
(filmecho / 40-2004)
Futter für Hollywood - Videospiele erobern die Kinoleinwand
(NGAMES / Sept.-Okt.2004)
Medienfonds - Eine lukrative und gute Anlage?
(Wirtschaftsbeirat Bayern / Nr. 09 2004)
Der Spezialist für Videospielverfilmungen
(Cash / Nr. 09 2004)
`Rayne` pours trio into vidgame pic
(Daily Variety / 11.08.2004)
Mit Genretiteln zum Fondserfolg
(Blickpunkt: Film / Nr. 30 vom 19.07.2004)
Unbeleefable - Setreport Alone in the dark
(widescreen / Nr. 7 2004)
"In Wirklichkeit wurde nur Geld nach Hollywood transferiert"
(medien aktuell / 21.06.2004)
"Gepflogenheiten, die wir als Betrug qualifizieren müssen"
(medien aktuell / 14.06.2004)
"Akt staatlicher Willkür"
(Der Aktionär / Nr. 21 2004)
"Stupid german money"
(Der Aktionär / Nr. 21 2004)
Deutschland tut sich mit Horror schwer
(Kölner Stadtanzeiger / 30.04.2004)
Der Reit(z) der Börse
(Welt am Sonntag / 11.04.2004)
Filmfonds in der Klemme
(Fonds & Co. / März 2004)
Faustregeln für geschlossene Fonds
(FAZ / 07.02.2004)
Ruhm, Kunst und Ehre sind nicht alles auf der Berlinale
(FAZ / 07.02.2004)
Boll scores 47 Million $
(Variety.com / 04.01.2004)
Die hassen mich, das törnt mich an
(Welt am Sonntag / 30.11.2003)
Der Allesmacher
(Financial Times Deutschland / 30.10.2003)
Ein Künstler als Kaufmann
(manager magazin online / 25.08.2002)
Hollywoods harte Regeln
(Financial Times Deutschland / 22.02.2002)
Videospiel "House of the dead" kommt ins Kino
(Bild / 21.02.2002)
Wie man in Hollywood Lorbeeren ernten kann
(28.11.2001)
Hauch Hollywood im Mainfrankenpark
(21.11.2001)
Der Zorro der Filmbranche
(Welt am Sonntag / 21.10.2001)
--
My Photos : http://photos.timchuma.com
The Town Bikes: http://twopresonbike.timchuma.com
The Twits Give Me the Shits : http://twitsgivemetheshits.timchuma.com
Tim's Hong Kong movie reviews: http://hkmovies.timchuma.com
Tim Chmielewski
@10.0.1.2:
> He has a history of suing people he's attempted to do _friendly_
> business with (he sued both the distributor and the star of "Bloodrayne"
Did he send them from his "legal law desk"? Does he wear a cap and a pointy
hat with "DIRECTOR" written on it in crayon with the R's backwards?
Glenn Knickerbocker
>-> age, size , jpeg
>Hmm, apparently there are some new restrictions. I guess now there
>are age limits and height limits and he only wants handsome guys.
I'm surprised Nick hasn't already said this, but I don't think height is
the size he's talking about, and I don't think the handsome part is what
he wants the jpeg of, unless by "handsome" you mean in somebody's hands.
You're supposed to send him a picture of your Michael Moore with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back explaining how massive it is and
how long you've had it, um, how long you've had it long.
ŹR \\ "More people are killed in cars every day than are
\\ killed by gay marriages. Why not outlaw cars?"
http://users.bestweb.net/~notr/cosmic.html \\ --Joe Guy
TeaLady (Mari C.)
news:slrne9972...@gatekeeper.vic.com:
> Mark Edwards <Mark-E...@comcast.net> wrote:
>>No cluons were harmed when dogsnus <dog...@micron.net>
>>wrote:
>>>Terri
>>>Placing a bet on Kibo to win by a nose.
>>
>>HA! In all the pictures I've seen of Kibo, he has no nose!
>
> ...Then ... how does he _smell_?
I always imagined him smelling a bit like saddle soap and
leather, with some sort of musky sweat under-lying it all, and
the tang of pepper sauce drifting in and out.
>
>>So you LOSE.
>>
>>FACELESS VICTORY!
>
Oh, you meant SMELL as in THE ROSES. Sorry.
> Dave "or perhaps you just weren't identifying his facial
> feature(s) correctly?"
> DeLaney
Was that really his face ?
--
TeaLady (mari)
"The principle of Race is meant to embody and express the
utter negation of human freedom, the denial of equal rights, a
challenge in the face of mankind." A. Kolnai
Avast ye scurvy dogs ! Thar be no disease in this message.
Otto Bahn
>>>>Placing a bet on Kibo to win by a nose.
>>>
>>>HA! In all the pictures I've seen of Kibo, he has no nose!
>>
>> ...Then ... how does he _smell_?
>
> I always imagined him smelling a bit like saddle soap and
> leather, with some sort of musky sweat under-lying it all, and
> the tang of pepper sauce drifting in and out.
Is this a woman thang? I cannot imagine imagining what
other people smell like. Go ahead, surprise me!
Any word on whether or not that "Tag" stuff works? It
sounds like a load of BS to me.
--oTTo--
TeaLady (Mari C.)
news:e7uc46$ogq$1...@gargoyle.oit.duke.edu:
> "TeaLady (Mari C.)" <spres...@yahoo.com> wrote
>
>>>>>Placing a bet on Kibo to win by a nose.
>>>>
>>>>HA! In all the pictures I've seen of Kibo, he has no
>>>>nose!
>>>
>>> ...Then ... how does he _smell_?
>>
>> I always imagined him smelling a bit like saddle soap and
>> leather, with some sort of musky sweat under-lying it all,
>> and the tang of pepper sauce drifting in and out.
>
> Is this a woman thang? I cannot imagine imagining what
> other people smell like. Go ahead, surprise me!
>
Woodsmoke and slight trace of beer, with maybe a touch of
soap.
> Any word on whether or not that "Tag" stuff works? It
> sounds like a load of BS to me.
>
Wh ? "Tag stuff" is what ? I amnotuponnewstuff.
Otto Bahn
>>> I always imagined [Kibo] smelling a bit like saddle soap and
>>> leather, with some sort of musky sweat under-lying it all,
>>> and the tang of pepper sauce drifting in and out.
>>
>> Is this a woman thang? I cannot imagine imagining what
>> other people smell like. Go ahead, surprise me!
>
> Woodsmoke and slight trace of beer, with maybe a touch of
> soap.
Scent-wise, you are my alter-gender.
>> Any word on whether or not that "Tag" stuff works? It
>> sounds like a load of BS to me.
>
> Wh ? "Tag stuff" is what ? I amnotuponnewstuff.
Fairy moans, I'm guessing:
http://makeashorterlink.com/?D22452A5D
Anybody try this stuff? It's almost tempting for the amusement
value alone, assuming it works at all.
--oTTo--
Chris McGonnell
>
>Wh ? "Tag stuff" is what ? I amnotuponnewstuff.
Obviously, you've been too busy flouting LAWS to see a commercial for
Tag, a male body cologne or spray that makes MILFs and chyx come on to
guys, instead of vice versa. Comic book guys all over the country are
asking, "Is this for real?" while knowing it's not. Hope springs
eternal when hype springs eternal.
--
Chris McG.
Harming humanity since 1951.
"What do you expect from a bunch of kiwi smoking sheep herders?" --
oTTo
--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com
TeaLady (Mari C.)
news:enmaa2ti7vdejp9cg...@4ax.com:
> On 30 Jun 2006 03:29:50 GMT, TeaLady (Mari C.) wrote:
>>
>>Wh ? "Tag stuff" is what ? I amnotuponnewstuff.
>
> Obviously, you've been too busy flouting LAWS to see a
> commercial for Tag, a male body cologne or spray that makes
> MILFs and chyx come on to guys, instead of vice versa.
> Comic book guys all over the country are asking, "Is this
> for real?" while knowing it's not. Hope springs eternal
> when hype springs eternal.
>
Hmm. I tended to only leap upon men-types with a less chemical
oriented scent - honest sweat (not days old and rancid, tho -
ewww) mixed with outdoorsy scents (wood smoke, fresh pine or
grass, etc.) and or soap-y citrus-y scentables. An undercurrent
of leather is ok, but overwhelming leather odor is a turn-off,
as it tends to evoke images of oily bikes or a person who is
into inflicting a painful sort of love. I do not like pain when
pleasured.
Otto Bahn
> I do not like pain when pleasured.
Kontext-Away snuggles up and asks, "Well, when *do* you like it?"
only to be smacked upside the head with an oxymoron by the Obvious
Bag.
--oTTo--
Nick Bensema
Chris McGonnell <sme...@NOkey-net.net> wrote:
>On 30 Jun 2006 03:29:50 GMT, TeaLady (Mari C.) wrote:
>>
>>Wh ? "Tag stuff" is what ? I amnotuponnewstuff.
>
>Obviously, you've been too busy flouting LAWS to see a commercial for
>Tag, a male body cologne or spray that makes MILFs and chyx come on to
>guys, instead of vice versa. Comic book guys all over the country are
>asking, "Is this for real?" while knowing it's not. Hope springs
>eternal when hype springs eternal.
I actually find it kind of insulting, even though the only difference
between it and typical advertising is that it's taken to the logical
conclusion: "Here's an impossible claim that plays on your insecurities.
Buy our crap, just in case this is the one that actually works."
But also, I've learned that women who act that eager in real life
tend to be dangerous. Women don't act like that without a reason.
That reason is much more likely to have to do with a special secret
game their uncle taught them when they were little, than with any
sort of cheap body spray.
Oh, and it also picks on one of my pet peeves: fake warnings. There
used to be a lot of commercials which would begin with something like
"WARNING: The following commercial contains scenes of rich chocolately
overload!" or something like that. So when someone actually decided
to produce a commercial with graphic content, I was bracing for a
punchline and was instead greeted with images of starving children.
--
Nick Bensema <ni...@io.com> AIM: NBensema
==== ======= ============== http://www.io.com/~nickb/
Otto Bahn
> But also, I've learned that women who act that eager in real life
> tend to be dangerous.
Emphasis on "tend".
> Women don't act like that without a reason.
If they are normally extremely shy/cautious, it could be a
good reason.
> That reason is much more likely to have to do with a special secret
> game their uncle taught them when they were little, than with any
> sort of cheap body spray.
Women who always act that way are dangerous for several reasons.
--oTTo--
Terri
news:v8GdnT4ETLienjHZ...@io.com:
> In article <enmaa2ti7vdejp9cg...@4ax.com>,
> Chris McGonnell <sme...@NOkey-net.net> wrote:
>>On 30 Jun 2006 03:29:50 GMT, TeaLady (Mari C.) wrote:
>>>
>>>Wh ? "Tag stuff" is what ? I amnotuponnewstuff.
>>
>>Obviously, you've been too busy flouting LAWS to see a commercial for
>>Tag, a male body cologne or spray that makes MILFs and chyx come on to
>>guys, instead of vice versa. Comic book guys all over the country are
>>asking, "Is this for real?" while knowing it's not. Hope springs
>>eternal when hype springs eternal.
>
> I actually find it kind of insulting, even though the only difference
> between it and typical advertising is that it's taken to the logical
> conclusion: "Here's an impossible claim that plays on your insecurities.
> Buy our crap, just in case this is the one that actually works."
Welcome to a woman's advertising POV. "Buy this pill to lose that
stubborn 3 pounds because you LOOK LIKE A COW and never mind if it kills
you! At least you'll look good dead"!
>
> But also, I've learned that women who act that eager in real life
> tend to be dangerous.
Eager to have the sexxors is dangerous?
Women don't act like that without a reason.
Like what? Being the sexual aggressor?
> That reason is much more likely to have to do with a special secret
> game their uncle taught them when they were little, than with any
> sort of cheap body spray.
Maybe I don't get any of this because I haven't seen the commerical.
Terri-very confused
-
Mojo 2/27/96-6/21/06
http://www.home.earthlink.net/~dogsnus/images/MojoGardening2003.jpg
All of life is an ongoing group therapy session. Some groups are all
about getting crazier instead of saner is all. Paula
Otto Bahn
> > Women don't act like that without a reason.
>
> Like what? Being the sexual aggressor?
>
>> That reason is much more likely to have to do with a special secret
>> game their uncle taught them when they were little, than with any
>> sort of cheap body spray.
>
> Maybe I don't get any of this because I haven't seen the commerical.
Ding! Women who grope and jump on strangers. En masse,
no less. Except for certain situations, meeting a chyk
in a random encounter and having her come on R33LY hard
FNARR is usually a sign of a weird chyk. Not that I have
voluminous experience or anything, but the dorm slut gets
around, ya know?
--oTTo--
Nick Bensema
>ni...@eris.io.com (Nick Bensema) wrote in
>news:v8GdnT4ETLienjHZ...@io.com:
>> between it and typical advertising is that it's taken to the logical
>> conclusion: "Here's an impossible claim that plays on your insecurities.
>> Buy our crap, just in case this is the one that actually works."
>
>Welcome to a woman's advertising POV. "Buy this pill to lose that
>stubborn 3 pounds because you LOOK LIKE A COW and never mind if it kills
>you! At least you'll look good dead"!
Believe me, all those pills on TV came to mind. Particularly the ones
that warn you that this pill is for people who are significantly
overweight ONLY, implying that if you're less than 20 pounds overweight
it will kill you, and therefore that it's not fake like every other
pill that made the same claims. They wouldn't warn us unless they
had to, right?
This is a different kind of fake warning that I also hate.
>> But also, I've learned that women who act that eager in real life
>> tend to be dangerous.
>Eager to have the sexxors is dangerous?
>
> Women don't act like that without a reason.
>Like what? Being the sexual aggressor?
Being an overt sexual aggressor to a complete stranger. Come to think
of it, the commercials would generally be even creepier if the gender
roles were reversed.
>> That reason is much more likely to have to do with a special secret
>> game their uncle taught them when they were little, than with any
>> sort of cheap body spray.
>Maybe I don't get any of this because I haven't seen the commerical.
They're literally like this:
Step 1. Guy sprays huimself with TAG in public.
Step 2. One or more girls smell it, and are overcome with lust, and physically tackle him. Examples: guy's girlfriend's hot mom, the female wrestlers in the ring, and at least half-dozen chyx at a supermarket.
Step 3. The picture freezes and it displays one of those "WARNING: TAG is not responsible for you getting tackled by hot wrestler's moms at a supermarket."
Chris McGonnell
>I noted it's very much the same sort of 1970's commercial of an aftershave
>called "Hai Karate" which taught my brothers, too young to care about
>gurls, how to karate chop just about every one of their sisters, peers and
>neighborhood fences.
>Unfortunately sex sells everything from beer to cologne. The only way to
>stop it is if people stop buying it. Can I get off my soap box now?
You've reminded me of a winter evening in 1966, when Mike Metzler's
bottle of Hai Karate fell out of his locker, smashing on the heated
lockerroom floor after a basketball game. Add to it steam and the
odors of sweat, gym socks, deodorants and hairspray (yeah, guys used
hairspray) and you can understand why our coach likened the scent to a
Mexican whorehouse. No one on that team used it again.
--
Chris McG.
Harming humanity since 1951.
"My dog ate my gratitude journal." -- Paula
Otto Bahn
> Unfortunately sex sells everything from beer to cologne. The only way to
> stop it is if people start doing it. Can I get off my soap box now?
TIWIWHS (that is what I would have said).
--oTTo--
Wiblur the Once
> Unfortunately sex sells everything from beer to cologne. The only way to
> stop it is if people stop buying it. Can I get off my soap box now?
> Terri
Before stepping down, please to expound on the "Smiling Bob with the new
and improved Giant Schlong" commercials, including why they always play two
in a row, and why the only one that showed his wife as a hawt, normal, non-
mutant humanoid chyxor is never shown anymore.
--
"...The job is to seek mystery, evoke mystery, plant a garden in which
strange plants grow and mysteries bloom. The need for mystery is greater
than the need for an answer." - Ken Kesey
http://www.wiblovia.com - The Wiblovian Institute of Kibology
TeaLady (Mari C.)
news:4hdn8gF...@individual.net:
> Wiblur the Once <wib...@comcast.net> wrote in
> news:Xns97FBAF7327CD6...@216.196.97.136:
>
>> Before stepping down, please to expound on the "Smiling
>> Bob with the new and improved Giant Schlong" commercials,
>> including why they always play two in a row, and why the
>> only one that showed his wife as a hawt, normal, non-
>> mutant humanoid chyxor is never shown anymore.
>>
> I don't know of this commercial but I'm roaring in laughter
> just by your description. Did they show the other guy's
> wife as an alien face hugger or something?
They look like someone just glued their faces up into a smile
and then did unspeakable sexual things to them just off
camera. With a cold dildo. Or something.
Really - these women have what is supposed to be a birght and
happy look, and it isn't working - they look like they'd just
like to run off and hide in a cave somewhere, or curl up and
cry. Or both. I find them more disturbing than the BK King
d00d, and he gives me bad dreams.
Matthew L. Martin
> Terri <Te...@micron.net> wrote in
> news:4hdn8gF...@individual.net:
>
>
>>Wiblur the Once <wib...@comcast.net> wrote in
>>news:Xns97FBAF7327CD6...@216.196.97.136:
>>
>>
>>>Before stepping down, please to expound on the "Smiling
>>>Bob with the new and improved Giant Schlong" commercials,
>>>including why they always play two in a row, and why the
>>>only one that showed his wife as a hawt, normal, non-
>>>mutant humanoid chyxor is never shown anymore.
>>>
>>
>>I don't know of this commercial but I'm roaring in laughter
>>just by your description. Did they show the other guy's
>>wife as an alien face hugger or something?
>
>
> They look like someone just glued their faces up into a smile
> and then did unspeakable sexual things to them just off
> camera. With a frozen dildo. Or something.
>
IFYPFY.
Matthew
--
You can bet that a week after Daguerre took the first photograph,
vendors were selling feelthy pictures on the streets of Paris.
Thomas A. Horsley on alt.tv.tech.hdtv
Wiblur the Once
> Really - these women have what is supposed to be a birght and
> happy look, and it isn't working - they look like they'd just
> like to run off and hide in a cave somewhere, or curl up and
> cry. Or both. I find them more disturbing than the BK King
> d00d, and he gives me bad dreams.
>
Exactly. The one where his wife looked hawt, they were at a tailgating
party and she is wearing an attractive sweater and pants, instead of her
usual mutant 60's-era clothing probably designed by the person who did
the clothes for Soundgarden's "Black Hole Sun" video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWeW_8ljmCM <-- Black Hole Sun video
In all the other commercials, she looks like she was sprayed with the
Joker's smiley-spray from the Batman movie, is about to break into a
horendous sweat and hasn't had a BM for a couple of weeks.
Also, I just found a clip of one of the Enzyte commercials in all of it's
FNARRable glory:
http://tinyurl.com/htbvy
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTa98ixcy9Q&search=natural%20male%
20enhancement]