Hair color update #20051218a.
James Kibo Parry
month and a half, and in that time I had also bleached twice, so recently
I was a sort of orangish-blond (the bleach never gets out all the orange,
and the yellow really sticks, so I had lemon-yellow hair with orange
highlights.) So today I put some color back in.
Currently I am Special Effects Hi-Octane Orange, which is a rich fluorescent
red (like the color of your car's cigarette lighter. Actually, it's redder
than that. It's the color you see if you press the cigarette lighter
directly into your eye socket.) The red should fade through fluorescent
orange over the next two weeks. This is a shade which doesn't have a
Manic Panic equivalent (Special Effects Napalm Orange is similar to
Manic Panic Electric Lava, but Hi-Octane Orange is a different color) and
it wasn't my first choice, but I had a bottle lying around, and I figured
now was a good time to try it since I'm planning on doing something drastic
(such as recutting my hair into a Mohawk, or shaving it all off) around
New Year's for the hell of it. (It's getting long enough that it needs to
be cut, so I might as well butcher it in some way, it grows back fast enough.)
I don't really think I can do a successful Mohawk -- for one thing, I'm
old enough that I would probably look really stupid in a '70s punk cut,
and for another, it would have a bit of a gap in the middle -- but it's
something I should try as long as I'm expecting to have to cut my hair
anyway (winter's always a good time to shave your head, so you don't
get hat hair.) I figure if I do that experiment, at best I'll come
out looking like W. Morgan Sheppard and have to get a pink van with
a revolving globe that says "BIG TIME TV".
(That's how old I am, I remember both Max Headroom and real punk-rockers
during the '80s. Of course the real heyday of the punk look was in
England in the late '70s, but in my part of the USA it didn't really
surface until about 1982. My high school only had two punkers, one
with a really huge fluorescent yellow Mohawk. Those were the days,
back when it was possible to be the only weird-looking person in all
of upstate New York -- kids these days don't know how much bolder a
statement the old fogeys were able to make when they invented that
look in the 1970s. I mean, that was even before everyone had realized
that disco sucked!)
Hmm, you know, being mistaken for W. Morgan Sheppard wouldn't be such
a bad thing. I could tell people my name is "A Mad Animal" and nobody
would get it because, I mean, who was able to sit through that movie?
Or I could learn one of W.'s speeches from "Babylon 5". I forget how
those went, they were all something like "FEEL THE LIFE FORCE EBBING
AWAY... EBBING... EBBING... EBBING... EBBING... EBBING..." except better.
The only problem with having a Mohawk is that I wouldn't be able to
wear my Roman centurion helmet over it. We'll see if that causes any
social difficulties in the new year.
Anyway, you can probably guess that the real reason I'm telling you
about advance plans for doing something ridiculous with my hair next
month is that it'll keep me from chickening out (or just being too
lazy to do it.) At the moment I still have my usual "Paul Darrow
as Caligula" haircut, which looks fine, especially when I wear a
ski mask over it. But it is a wonderfully insane shade of nuclear
red which perfectly compliments the icy colorlessness of my eyes.
I never wear my red contact lenses. They just look too dopey, and
completely fake. Very poseurish, with a cartoony quality that doesn't
compare to the natural disturbingness of my own eyes. Fluorescent
red hair good, red contact lenses bad. Also, they're not my
prescription, and nobody likes to see a guy bumping into things
just so he can wear ridiculous contacts. I should sell them to some
Anne Rice fan or someone who needs to join the "Attempted Goth"
community. Hey, anybody want to buy some used contact lenses?
I swear I've only had them in my eyes when they're not in their
case, I've never cleaned them by spitting on them.
-- K.
The wonderful thing about
alt.religion.kibology is
that I can say "who was
able to sit through that
movie?" and have it take
on an additional layer
of specialness because
I'm sure that at least
50% of you weirdos will
raise your hands to
shamefully brag that you
_did_ pay to see "Marat/Sade".
Marc Goodman
> I'm sure that at least
> 50% of you weirdos will
> raise your hands to
> shamefully brag that you
> _did_ pay to see "Marat/Sade".
HA! Shows what you know. I have it on video tape.
James Kibo Parry
The DVD's better because it's random-access so that you can skip
directly over your favorite scenes to get to the end faster.
For some reason, you just can't make a good film out of an immersive
avant-garde theater experience. Plays tend to make lousy, stiff,
stagey, slow movies, even when they're not plays which involve the
actors locking the audience in an insane asylum and running up and
down the aisle screaming and naked. When you watch an actual play,
you get to decide what to look at, but when you watch the movie
of "Rope", you have to look at whatever Hitchcock's pointing the
camera at. Also you can't hold out much hope for seeing someone
flub their lines in an interesting way.
Avant-garde theater like "Marat/Sade" should be about "HEY, AUDIENCE!
WE'RE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU AND WE'RE GOING TO FUCK WITH YOUR MINDS!"
but watching a film of a theatrical show conveys more the impression
of "Oh, so this is what people who like this sort of thing used to
go see in person back when they were still performing it." The
dangerous animal has been crushed flat and turned into a photograph of itself.
I will grant that the movie of "Marat/Sade" is ambitious and clever in
its attempts to depict the immersive experience of live freaky theater,
but I got bored with it quickly -- now if I had seen it performed live,
with W. Morgan Sheppard actually shouting at me personally, I might
have been excited enough to make it all the way through. From this,
we can conclude that no movies should ever be made of plays -- they
should just keep plays open forever so that nobody needs to settle
for the movie version.
So do you think they'll ever do a live stage version of that new
movie, "The Producers"? I'm not sure how well that would fly,
because it's got a dancing Hitler in it, and putting dancing Hitler
in a play would make it a bad play.
Now back to the much more important subject at hand: The Marquis de Sade.
Movies like "Marat/Sade" and "Quills" always seem to take the point of
view that the poor Marquis was persecuted by big meanies because he
dared to write satire. How come they've never made a movie about his
actual life, which would be much more interesting because he was a truly
sick, evil bastard? (No, he did not get thrown in prison just for
writing ribald Benny Hill sketches about corrupt priests. It was
because he enjoyed poisoning prostitutes. If you believe that the
poisoned-licorice incident was just an accident during one of his
naughty romps, I refer you to the various times he wrote about his
fantasies of watching women dying of poisoning, such as in "The 120
Days Of Sodom".) He'd make a fascinating biopic, providing you got
Anthony Hopkins to play him. Or better yet, the late Lawrence Tierney.
(Sorry, Internet fanboys, you can't have Christian Bale. Too handsome.)
To sum up:
* Movies of plays suck.
* Movies about the Marquis de Sade suck.
* DVDs are better than VHS but DVDs still suck.
* Everything else sucks too.
* If Marat goes with Sade, then who goes with Leopold von Sacher-Masoch?
Kraft-Ebbing? The Velvet Underground? Richard Loeb?
* The movie "Mishima" is quite good, but I haven't read Mishima's book
about Madame de Sade, so I'm not qualified to drag him into this.
Instead I'll just brag that I didn't connect the dots between
Hitchcock's "Rope" and Richard Loeb because that would have been
too obvious. Also, because I'm busy making a cameo in "Titus Andronicus".
-- K.
How come Leopold & Loeb
never got a sitcom?
Every week they could
bungle the murder of
a different person.
The perfect cast would
be Monty Burns and
Waylon Smithers, plus
a chimp for comic relief.
Bryce Utting
> Now back to the much more important subject at hand: The Marquis de Sade.
> Movies like "Marat/Sade" and "Quills" always seem to take the point of
> view that the poor Marquis was persecuted by big meanies because he
> dared to write satire. How come they've never made a movie about his
> actual life, which would be much more interesting because he was a truly
> sick, evil bastard? (No, he did not get thrown in prison just for
> writing ribald Benny Hill sketches about corrupt priests. It was
> because he enjoyed poisoning prostitutes. If you believe that the
> poisoned-licorice incident was just an accident during one of his
> naughty romps, I refer you to the various times he wrote about his
> fantasies of watching women dying of poisoning, such as in "The 120
> Days Of Sodom".) He'd make a fascinating biopic, providing you got
> Anthony Hopkins to play him. Or better yet, the late Lawrence Tierney.
> (Sorry, Internet fanboys, you can't have Christian Bale. Too handsome.)
sounds like a job for Mark Hamill, to me.
> * DVDs are better than VHS but DVDs still suck.
gyahhh. if you sometimes watch DVDs with a full 5.1 system, but then
also watch sometimes watch them on a TV (with the stereo DVD audio
signal jammed down into mono), and have to dick about with telling the
damn thing to play in stereo instead of 5.1 so's that any dialogue in
the centre channel doesn't vanish into the aether, and then ALSO try
to get the damn thing to take the audio from stereo DVDs (in 5.1 mode)
and take the bass to the sub, THEN you get to complain about how they
suck. RRRRRRRRRAAHHHHHH.
> * If Marat goes with Sade, then who goes with Leopold von Sacher-Masoch?
> Kraft-Ebbing? The Velvet Underground? Richard Loeb?
The Communards.
butting
--
I am very new to programming drivers so if I sound un-knowledgeable
then it's because I am.
-- first4internet's Ceri Coburn on writing Sony's DRM rootkit
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > Now back to the much more important subject at hand: The Marquis de Sade.
> > Anthony Hopkins to play him. Or better yet, the late Lawrence Tierney.
> > (Sorry, Internet fanboys, you can't have Christian Bale. Too handsome.)
>
> sounds like a job for Mark Hamill, to me.
Hey, if you somehow combined the Criterion DVD of Passolini's
"Salo: The 120 Days Of Sodom" with the original, un-digitally-enhanced
Laserdisc of "Star Wars", you'd have a disc of some sort which
would sell for more than everything else on eBay _combined_.
The early Criterion DVD of "Salo" is one of the few Criterion discs
ever to have gone out of print, and because it's an out-of-print
Criterion disc of a movie based on something some old French sicko
wrote, it commands a higher price than any other DVD, ever. Usually
legit copies go for about $550, so lots of people try to pass off
Brazilian bootlegs as the real thing. I've never seen it, so I
have no idea whether it's overrated by $540 or by $545.
> > * DVDs are better than VHS but DVDs still suck.
>
> gyahhh. if you sometimes watch DVDs with a full 5.1 system, but then
> also watch sometimes watch them on a TV (with the stereo DVD audio
> signal jammed down into mono), and have to dick about with telling the
> damn thing to play in stereo instead of 5.1 so's that any dialogue in
> the centre channel doesn't vanish into the aether, and then ALSO try
> to get the damn thing to take the audio from stereo DVDs (in 5.1 mode)
> and take the bass to the sub, THEN you get to complain about how they
> suck. RRRRRRRRRAAHHHHHH.
Young man, your puny 5.1 system would still be inadequate for playing
my full quadraphonic DVD of "Tommy". That's why I suggest we don't
even try to play the DVD. I'll just come over and we'll re-enact the
entire movie ourselves. Be sure you've got the bathtub filled up by
the time I get there.
> > * If Marat goes with Sade, then who goes with Leopold von Sacher-Masoch?
> > Kraft-Ebbing? The Velvet Underground? Richard Loeb?
>
> The Communards.
Fine, then tell me: In a fight between the Velvet Underground and
the Communards, why wouldn't I just go watch my "Tommy" DVD instead?
And that leaves Richard Loeb unpaired with any other popular
or alternative musician, so we'll put him with Lisa Loeb,
except I don't think she'd be happy about having to leave
her nerd glasses next to the corpse they're disposing of.
Kraft-Ebbing can go with Heinz Edelmann, and the two of them
can animate a movie filled with psychedelic flying Velveeta
and 57 dancing pickles playing 76 trombones, but instead of
a quadraphonic soundtrack it'll just have the secret emergency
backup replacement Monkees standing in for the real Monkees.
Also Jack Nicholson will have a cameo as the slice of salami
from "Codex Seraphinianus". (That's my favorite page in that
book, though the plot's a little thin in that section.)
-- K.
Unless we let Ken Russell
direct it, in which case
Jack Nicholson will be a
giant salami that
Roger Daltrey rides.
pete
> I don't really think I can do a successful Mohawk
> -- for one thing, I'm
> old enough that I would probably look really stupid
> in a '70s punk cut,
> and for another, it would have a bit of a gap in the middle
> -- but it's
> something I should try as long as I'm expecting to have to cut my hair
> anyway (winter's always a good time to shave your head, so you don't
> get hat hair.) I figure if I do that experiment, at best I'll come
> out looking like W. Morgan Sheppard and have to get a pink van with
> a revolving globe that says "BIG TIME TV".
http://wireless.stanford.edu/~rayw/DENIRO.JPG
--
pete
Otto Bahn
>I had let my maroon hair gradually fade to light orange over the past
> month and a half, and in that time I had also bleached twice, so recently
> I was a sort of orangish-blond (the bleach never gets out all the orange,
> and the yellow really sticks, so I had lemon-yellow hair with orange
> highlights.) So today I put some color back in.
>
> Currently I am Special Effects Hi-Octane Orange, which is a rich fluorescent
> red
Why don't they call it "Special Effects Fluorescent Red That Fades To
Hi-Octane Orange"? Or does the hair dye industry refer to what color
you hair will be in a week instead of what it is now? Is there a \
"Faded Jet Black With Natural Roots?"
Do you ever dye your eyebrows?
--oTTo--
Glenn Knickerbocker
> 50% of you weirdos will
> raise your hands to
> shamefully brag that you
> _did_ pay to see "Marat/Sade".
And 30% of the rest of us will lie and say we saw it for free in college,
just to avoid looking illiterate.
ŹR
Tim Chmielewski
news:kibo-19120...@10.0.1.2:
>
> I don't really think I can do a successful Mohawk -- for one thing,
> I'm old enough that I would probably look really stupid in a '70s punk
> cut, and for another, it would have a bit of a gap in the middle --
> but it's something I should try as long as I'm expecting to have to
> cut my hair anyway (winter's always a good time to shave your head, so
> you don't get hat hair.) I figure if I do that experiment, at best
> I'll come out looking like W. Morgan Sheppard and have to get a pink
> van with a revolving globe that says "BIG TIME TV".
>
At the Twits gig I went to last weekend, the leader singer in the band said
he heard to punks talking in the men's toilets "Oh! What ARE you using on
your hair? It looks great!" that never happened when he was a punk,
although in Austria it is mainly middle class art school kids who became
punks so it was all about the clothes.
--
My Photos : http://photos.timchuma.com
Two Preson Bike: http://timchuma.com/twopresonbike/
The Twits Give Me the Shits : http://twitsgivemetheshits.timchuma.com
Tim's Hong Kong movie reviews: http://hkmovies.timchuma.com
James Kibo Parry
>
> Why don't they call it "Special Effects Fluorescent Red That Fades To
> Hi-Octane Orange"? Or does the hair dye industry refer to what color
> you hair will be in a week instead of what it is now? Is there a
> "Faded Jet Black With Natural Roots?"
This is why there's a market for both relatively weak (Manic Panic)
and relatively strong (Special Effects) dyes. With the Manic Panic,
if the stuff in the jar is lavender, it makes your hair lavender,
then fades away in less than two weeks. With Special Effects, the
stuff in the jar usually looks like fudge, and makes your hair something
halfway between fudge and the color you wanted, then over the next
week fades to the color you wanted then sticks around forever no
matter how many thousands of times you bleach.
The thing about colors is they don't work the way people kept lying
to you in third grade -- the color wheel is a crock. In the real world,
bright yellow paint mixed with bright blue paint won't give you bright
green, you'll get dingy dark green. And with dyes, "pink" is the
weaker version of "purple" and "orange" is the weaker version of "red" --
the stuff that's currently in my hair is the color of dried blood when
it's in the bottle, but when diluted a billion to one with water it's
a nice bright orange. Currently there's enough of it in my hair so
that my hair looks red rather than orange.
I got a lot of great reactions to the fluorescent red hair today, it's
really making quite an impression. Bright reds and oranges always get
more positive attention than any other colors I've tried.
> Do you ever dye your eyebrows?
No. Besides the obvious risk of getting bleach or dye in the eyes,
there's the issue of the skin on that part of the face being very
sensitive so there would be unpleasant burning sensations, and
eyebrows have so little hair (and such fine hair) that you'd probably
just wind up staining your skin to add a tiny amount of color to your
eyebrows, and most importantly, people have a lot more facial expression
when they have dark eyebrows (just ask Steve Martin.) So I leave
my eyebrows blackish but bleach and dye everything else above the neck.
Women who want darker eyebrows usually just shave them off and then
draw them on with a horribly fake-looking crayon. That looks as
ridiculously fake as if a man shaved his head so he could wear a wad
of Play-Doh for a toupee. I've got nothing against temporary body art,
but you can't pass off a couple of black stripes as actual eyebrows.
Another problem with dyeing eyebrows would be that they grow and shed
so fast, because the hairs are so short, that even if you managed to
give them a good dye job it'd be gone in about a week. They should
invent a pill that lets people grow their eyebrows as long as they want
so that Dr. Seuss fans can sculpt them into crazy shapes, because nothing
makes people look as insane as having big curly eyebrows. If you don't
believe me, look at Andy Rooney.
-- K.
"look at Andy Rooney" is slang
for "get bleach in your eyes".
James Kibo Parry
You went to college for free? Gawrsh! You must be either a super-genius
or a hippie!
I don't think I ever saw any entertaining movies in college. In fact,
the only movies I remember seeing in class (bear in mind that I was in
a lot of scriptwriting courses) were Oliver Stone's "Eight Million Ways
To Die" (terrible), "Three Days Of The Condor" (mediocre), and one
episode each of "Get A Life" and "Small Wonder" (the latter was shown
to us just to reassure us that anyone could write a better script.)
It was in elementary school and Cub Scouts where I got exposed to all
those movies that burned themselves deeply into my subconscious --
about a dozen showings of "Paddle To The Sea" (they rented
that one over, and over, and over) and for the rare occasions when
they couldn't get "Paddle To The Fucking Sea" they got that film
about the otter, or the film of "Homer Price And The Amazing Doughnut
Machine". Plus once there was that one about bear conservation at
Yellowstone (bears who break the rules about staying out of pic-a-nic
baskets get a yellow stripe painted on their face the first time, and
shot the second time, if I remember correctly) and one showing of
"It's A Wonderful Life". Plus various propaganda films about
terrible things happening to kids who don't wash, such as that one
I mentioned a while back about the wicked witch who uses her magic
powers to make kids play football in the mud until she's convinced
to take a kinky bubble bath. (I still demand to know the title of
that one... if it rings a bell with anyone, please let me know.)
I think that if instead of "Paddle To The Sea" they had shown
"Marat/Sade" a dozen times I would not now hate tiny French-Canadian
toy canoes. And by the way, THAT'S NOT PADDLING, THAT'S FLOATING!!!
Oh yeah, once in junior high they made us watch the movie of
"Rumble Fish" because I had this teacher who was obsessed with
S.E. Hinton and that semester we had to real all those books.
Here, I'll summarize the entire S.E. Hinton Very Special Books
About Troubled Teens canon: "Oh no, he smoked a 'reefer', and
now he's dead! Oh no, he bought a leather jacket, and now he's
dead! Oh no, he drank 'booze', and now he's dead!" I kept
wishing Judy Blume would beat the crap out of S.E. Hinton.
Judy Blume rocks, man. Her and Daniel Pinkwater. But they
never let us read Daniel Pinkwater.
Further showing my age: I was in high school during the year that
_every_ class felt it was vitally important for all of us to read
a certain tedious George Orwell novel due to the calendar having
the same digits on it in the same order. I was simultaneously
assigned "1984" in three different classes (I think they were English,
British Literature, and some satire class taught by a humorless
asshole who got upset when people used slang.) Oh, that jogs
my memory, another movie we saw was the first half of "Catch-22"
because said asshole teacher somehow thought he could show a
three-hour movie during two one-hour classes. (I like both the
book and the movie.)
"Catch-22" still feels relevant, but can we please finally admit
that "1984" is a joyless, awkwardly-written, pompous, hectoring screed?
Hell, even Ayn Rand made fun of "1984" -- you know you really have
a board up your ass when even Ayn Rand is writing parodies of you.
-- K.
It's amazing that Steve Jobs
never became a Randroid.
Tim Chmielewski
> "Catch-22" still feels relevant, but can we please finally admit
> that "1984" is a joyless, awkwardly-written, pompous, hectoring
> screed? Hell, even Ayn Rand made fun of "1984" -- you know you really
> have a board up your ass when even Ayn Rand is writing parodies of
> you.
>
Also, why can't people quote some decent dystopian stories for a change
when they are protesting. In "quote" I mean actually act out pivotal scenes
from A Clockwork Orange, Rollerball or THX 1138.
Tim Chmielewski
@10.0.1.2:
> Another problem with dyeing eyebrows would be that they grow and shed
> so fast, because the hairs are so short, that even if you managed to
> give them a good dye job it'd be gone in about a week. They should
> invent a pill that lets people grow their eyebrows as long as they want
> so that Dr. Seuss fans can sculpt them into crazy shapes, because nothing
> makes people look as insane as having big curly eyebrows. If you don't
> believe me, look at Andy Rooney.
>
You could dye these people's eyebrows easily as they are so long.
Junichiro Koizumi
http://www.kantei.go.jp/foreign/index-e.html
John Howard - AIEEEEEEEE!
http://www.pm.gov.au/
Tim Chmielewski
news:Xns97329A659D79Bwe...@130.133.1.4:
> ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote in
> news:kibo-19120...@10.0.1.2:
>
>
>> "Catch-22" still feels relevant, but can we please finally admit
>> that "1984" is a joyless, awkwardly-written, pompous, hectoring
>> screed? Hell, even Ayn Rand made fun of "1984" -- you know you really
>> have a board up your ass when even Ayn Rand is writing parodies of
>> you.
>>
> Also, why can't people quote some decent dystopian stories for a
> change when they are protesting. In "quote" I mean actually act out
> pivotal scenes from A Clockwork Orange, Rollerball or THX 1138.
>
As in this one:
Alex: I read all about the scourging and the crowning with thorns and I
could viddy myself helping in and even taking charge of the tolchoking and
the nailing in. Being dressed in the height of roman fashion.
James Kibo Parry
> > that "1984" is a joyless, awkwardly-written, pompous, hectoring
> > screed? Hell, even Ayn Rand made fun of "1984" -- you know you really
> > have a board up your ass when even Ayn Rand is writing parodies of you.
>
> Also, why can't people quote some decent dystopian stories for a change
> when they are protesting. In "quote" I mean actually act out pivotal scenes
> from A Clockwork Orange, Rollerball or THX 1138.
That's not protesting, that's foreplay.
It's hard to keep up with the William Tell Overture in "A Clockwork Orange",
but the scene near the end where they're drowning Alex has a good beat
to beat people to. There should be more violence involving Moog stings.
Your list of three movies is a good a start, but how many other dystopian
movies can you name that involve large quantities of black leather pants?
Were they in one of the scenes that got edited out of "Brazil"?
I wanted to be one of the cops from "THX-1138" last Halloween but I couldn't
find a silver mask that didn't look crappy. And I couldn't wear a
"Rollerball" uniform because I didn't want to show up to the party
wearing the same thing as Bob Elliott.
-- K.
Does "Danger: Diabolik"
count as a dystopian movie
because of the costumes?
Glenn Knickerbocker
>eyebrows have so little hair (and such fine hair)
NEEDS MORE MARTIN LANDAU
>Another problem with dyeing eyebrows would be that they grow and shed
>so fast, because the hairs are so short,
I'm not even Martin Landau, and not only are my eyebrows about twice as
coarse as my scalp hair, they also grow a good 3 or 4 months before
falling out. Actually, I guess I never really noticed before that
they're a mixture of those long, coarse, rough hairs and short, fine,
smooth ones.
>believe me, look at Andy Rooney.
Oh, so that was Barbara Bain's point of comparison? I see now.
http://users.bestweb.net/~notr/arkville.html "I felt like I was in a
ŹR demented Wallace Stevens poem, with food poisoning." Spalding Gray
Tim Chmielewski
> Tim Chmielewski (webm...@timchuma.com) wrote:
>>
>> Also, why can't people quote some decent dystopian stories for a
>> change when they are protesting. In "quote" I mean actually act out
>> pivotal scenes from A Clockwork Orange, Rollerball or THX 1138.
>
> That's not protesting, that's foreplay.
>
> It's hard to keep up with the William Tell Overture in "A Clockwork
> Orange", but the scene near the end where they're drowning Alex has a
> good beat to beat people to. There should be more violence involving
> Moog stings.
>
Also, this line is just for Bryce:
TRY THE WINE!
Still got it stuck your head?
Glenn Knickerbocker
>You went to college for free? Gawrsh! You must be either a super-genius
>or a hippie!
Close! I went to a Texas community college and then to Rice. Both were
nearly free, one was full of hippies, and the other full of super-genii.
>I don't think I ever saw any entertaining movies in college.
I suppose it depends on your definition of "in." While I don't think I
saw any movies at all in class, I saw plenty of entertaining ones on
campus, though I missed "Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe." I did catch
Herzog's wonderfully bleak "Wozzeck," just a week or two before getting
to watch the subscriber elite make a show of their own stupidity by
walking out on HGO's production of the Berg opera. The community college
showed a few of the 3D classics like "Creature from the Black Lagoon" and
"It Came from Outer Space," though I did have to go out and spend 5 bucks
to see the most gorgeous and ridiculous 3D movie ever, "Eyes of Hell."
>never let us read Daniel Pinkwater.
I just finally got around to a few of his books this year. I could have
been seriously damaged if Alan Mendelsohn had been known when I was in
seventh grade. Fortunately, I just dreamed of venomous Star Trek aliens
based on my big sister instead.
ŹR / "We know the difference between good and bad corn early in life and
/ have the confidence that comes from such discernment." Chris Squire
http://users.bestweb.net/~notr/ (of Ontario's *London Free Press*)
Tim Chmielewski
> Your list of three movies is a good a start, but how many other
> dystopian movies can you name that involve large quantities of black
> leather pants? Were they in one of the scenes that got edited out of
> "Brazil"?
>
Mad Max
Mad Max II aka Road Warrior
Mad Max III (err, perhaps not)
Escape from New York (Kurt Russel's leather pants still fit him)
Matrix (first one only)
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Leatherman
Tim Chmielewski
>
> Your list of three movies is a good a start, but how many other
> dystopian movies can you name that involve large quantities of black
> leather pants? Were they in one of the scenes that got edited out of
> "Brazil"?
>
Also:
Title The Leather boys (316476)
Physical Colour; Sound; 103 min
Copyrighted 1963
Subj rating Mature Accompanied 15+
Synopsis The disillusion of a disappointing marriage leads a young
mechanic into a relationship with a fellow motor cyclist in this often
perceptive study of masculinity, shot on a small budget in a London
working class environment. The homosexuality at the heart of the
relationship is sympathetically (for the time) brought into the open,
negating the myth of the buddy relationship as a neutral escape route
from the role playing in male-female relationships. Based on the novel
by Eliot George. Cast includes Colin Campbell, Rita Tushingham and
Dudley Sutton. Prod Co Prod Co: Viewfinder Film Productions
Producer/Di Prod: Raymond Stross
Director Dir: Sidney J. Furie
====
Title Big H (012963)
Physical Colour; Sound; 29 min
Copyrighted 1979
Audience (EA)
Collection Art collection
Synopsis An example to educators of what can be done to arouse and
maintain children's interest in the arts. Howard Spicer is known to
thousands of school children all over Australia as "Big H" - the
Operatic Bikie. Dressed in leather, he rides his motorbike into
classrooms and introduces young people to opera. Using Spicer's work as
an example the film illustrates the concept of innovative arts. Suitable
for secondary years 7-12, teachers and tertiary level. Prod Co Prod
Co:
Tasmanian Film Corporation/Australia Council Director Prod/Dir:
David
Perry Short annot FDA NO. 1256
Subjects Arts; Documentaries and factual works - Australia; Education
-
Study and teaching - Australia; Education, Primary; Education of
children; Educators; Opera - Instruction and study; Spicer, Howard;
Teachers - Training of; Teaching; Australian; Children 12+(CB);
Documentaries and factual works; Perry, David(A); Tasmanian Film
Corporation(A)
=====
Title The Girl on a motorcycle = La Motocyclette [DVD] (316121)
Physical Colour; Sound; 91 min
Copyrighted 1968
Subj rating Mature Accompanied 15+
Collection Literature collection
Synopsis "Girl on a motorcycle" is an erotic fantasy film starring
Marianne Faithful and Alain Delon. Rebecca (Faithful) is a bored English
newly wed, whose husband fails to satisfy her emotionally or sexually.
On a whim Rebecca flees to France on her motorcycle to be re-united with
her former lover Daniel (Delon), who taught her a love of riding and
gave her sexual satisfaction. Numerous flashback sequences reveal the
history between Rebecca and Daniel. Whilst riding to meet Daniel,
Rebecca (in voiceover) ruminates over the motivation behind her choices
and the possibilities of her future. The film was released in 1968 in an
edited version that was X-rated, under the title "Naked under leather".
This is the full length uncut version. In keeping with the times, the
film features several psychedelic scenes. Prod Co Prod Cos: Mid
Atlantic Film/Ares Production Producer/Di Prod: William Sassoon
Director Dir: Jack Cardiff
Technical. Technical: PAL ; 1 single-sided single layer disc ; Zone 2
encoded Aspect rati Aspect ratio: Widescreen format
Audio langu Audio languages: English (Digital Mono)
Subtitles Subtitles: None
Special fea Special features: Director commentary ; Biography and
filmography of cast and crew ; Image gallery including stills from
behind the scenes ; Trailer Subjects Adultery; Erotica; Feature
films;
Feature films - France; Feature films - Great Britain; French literature
- Film and video adaptations; Motion picture trailers; Sex; Cardiff,
Jack(A); Delon, Alain, 1935-(A); Faithfull, Marianne(A); Goring,
Marius(A) Note ZONE 2 ENCODED
====
Title The Town of no return. The Gravediggers. The Cybernauts [DVD]
(316468) Physical Black and White/Monochrome; Sound; 150 min
Copyrighted 1965
Subj rating Parental Guidance Recommended
Series The Avengers (1432)
Synopsis "The Town of no return": Steed and Mrs Peel are sent to the
sleepy seaside town of Little Bazeley to investigate the disappearance
of four agents. In a town where nobody is what they seem, Peel and Steed
disguise themselves as a primary school teacher and property developer
and stay at a local hotel called the Gremlin. The highlight of the
episode is a leather clad Peel tied down with horse riding apparel. "The
Gravediggers": there's interference in sector three on the radar,
leading to a fear of undetected nuclear weapons. Steed and Mrs Peel head
to the town of Prinby, located in the heart of sector three and the
burial place of Dr Hubert Marlowe, recently deceased expert in the
field. Peel goes undercover as a Nurse at a hospice for railwaymen while
Steed visits the benefactor of the establishment. Highlights of the
episode include a miniature train ride and Mrs Peel tied to the railway
tracks, complete with accompanying music, fitting for a damsel in
distress. "The Cybernauts": three electronics experts are killed by a
tall man with brute strength and the number is increasing. They all had
an appointment with the Harachi Corporation, an electronics company who
have created a new circuit element for transistors. The trail leads
Steed and Mrs Peel to United Automation where a wheelchair bound
scientist is building an army of radio controlled cybernauts. A
highlight of the episode involves Mrs Peel doing karate - in a skirt.
Prod Co Prod Co: British Productions Producer/Di Prod: Julian Wintle
PF Contents: The Town of no return (dir. Roy Baker, wri. Brian
Clemens)裕he Gravediggers (dir. Quentin Lawrence, wri. Malcolm
Hulke)裕he Cybernauts (dir. Sidney Hayers, wri. Julian Wintle).
Technical. Technical: PAL ; 1 single-sided dual layer disc ; Zone 2
encoded Aspect rati Aspect ratio: Full screen format
Audio langu Audio languages: English
Subtitles Subtitles: None
Special fea Special features: None
Subjects Espionage; Robots; Science fiction; Television programs;
Television programs - Great Britain; Television series; Television;
Baker, Roy, 1916-(A); Berkoff, Steven, 1937-(A); Clemens, Brian(A);
Macnee, Patrick, 1922-(A); Rigg, Diana(A); Wintle, Julian(A) Note
ZONE
2 ENCODED
=====
Title Prisoner: the early years (316531)
Physical Colour; Sound; 188 min
Distributor SHOCK RECORDS (SHOCK)
Subj rating Mature 15+
Series Prisoner [Cell block H] (1434)
Episode # 1
Synopsis "166" (dirs. Rod Hardy, Juliana Focht, prod. Philip East,
wri.
Alistair Sharp): Top Dog Bea Smith (Val Lehman) leads 6 of her fellow
prisoners through an escape tunnel during a pantomime. Terror mounts
when the tunnel collapses; there will be fatalities. There's
disgruntlement amongst prison staff regarding work conditions. "287"
(dir: John McRae, prod. Ian Bradley, wri. John Mortimore): Enter "The
Freak" (Maggie Kirkpatrick) with her trademark leather gloves in tow.
Christine (Amanda Muggleton) is arrested while breaching parole, Lizzie
(Sheila Florance) has a hangover and the search is on for a secret
distillery in the prison. Burns (Collette Mann) plays bookie. "327"
(dir. Juliana Focht, prod. John McRae, wri. Anne Lucas): The Freak uses
intimidation when searching for her lost diaries. A deliberately lit
fire finds The Freak and Smith trapped together in the cells. The women
are relocated to a men's prison due to fire damage. "400" (dir. Mark
DeFriest, prod. Lex Van Os, wri. Ian Smith): Hazel assists Jude to
suicide and has to deal with the legal consequences of her actions. With
assistance from The Freak, there's moves for a new Top Dog following
Smith's abrupt departure. Cast includes Elspeth Ballantyne, Judith
McGrath, Betty Bobbitt, Val Lehman, Amanda Muggleton and Jane Clifton.
Introduced by Peter McTighe. PLEASE NOTE: date recorded is copyright
year and usually preceeds the screening year. Prod Co Prod Co:
Grundy
Television PF Contents: Ep. 166 (48 mins. 1980)勇p. 287 (47 mins.
1982)勇p. 327 (47 mins. 1982)-Ep. 400 (46 mins. 1983) Subjects Prison
films; Prison wardens; Prisoners; Prisons; Prisons - Australia;
Television programs; Television programs - Australia; Television serials
- Australia; Women prisoners; Australian; Television; Florance,
Sheila(A); Hardy, Rod(A); Kirkpatrick, Maggie(A); Colette Mann(A) Alt
Title A Prisoner: the early years [DVD] (316129) Alt Title B
Prisoner:
fire at Wentworth (315948)
Rose Marie Holt
ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote:
> Glenn Knickerbocker (No...@bestweb.net) wrote:
> >
>
> "Catch-22" still feels relevant, but can we please finally admit
> that "1984" is a joyless, awkwardly-written, pompous, hectoring screed?
> Hell, even Ayn Rand made fun of "1984" -- you know you really have
> a board up your ass when even Ayn Rand is writing parodies of you.
>
> -- K.
>
> It's amazing that Steve Jobs
> never became a Randroid.
Perhaps you are too young to recall "The Wood Ducks' World" showing the
hatching of 6 wood ducks and why the world is not overcome with the wood
duck population. In graphic detail. Popular jr high stuff, like the
Tacoma Narrows bridge and the flea circus film.
I read the short story Ender;s Game, which came out before video games
were huge and I thought it was a great story. Now my kid read the
extended novel version in high school.
I think it is funni that English profs think they are the one who will
turn out the classics of tomorrow. John Updike comes to mind.
If they hired guys like Tolkein, Orson Bean, and C S "call me Jack"
Lewis at universities, perhaps they would. Turn out the classics of
tomorrow, I mean.
Orson Bean is a good troll on Orson Wells because of the character "Bean"
Otto Bahn
> The thing about colors is they don't work the way people kept lying
> to you in third grade -- the color wheel is a crock. In the real world,
> bright yellow paint mixed with bright blue paint won't give you bright
> green, you'll get dingy dark green. And with dyes, "pink" is the
> weaker version of "purple" and "orange" is the weaker version of "red" --
That makes perfect sense to me. Should I be afraid?
> the stuff that's currently in my hair is the color of dried blood when
> it's in the bottle, but when diluted a billion to one with water it's
> a nice bright orange. Currently there's enough of it in my hair so
> that my hair looks red rather than orange.
>
> I got a lot of great reactions to the fluorescent red hair today, it's
> really making quite an impression. Bright reds and oranges always get
> more positive attention than any other colors I've tried.
Think about it. Talk about it.
>> Do you ever dye your eyebrows?
>
> No.
Good.
> Women who want darker eyebrows usually just shave them off and then
> draw them on with a horribly fake-looking crayon. That looks as
> ridiculously fake as if a man shaved his head so he could wear a wad
> of Play-Doh for a toupee. I've got nothing against temporary body art,
> but you can't pass off a couple of black stripes as actual eyebrows.
This is stupider than dumb, and dumber than stupid. I
don't mind looking at women who do it, it just doesn't
make sense to me. I seem to remember eyelash/eyebrow
thickeners used to be a common commercial. Has that
changed? Why don't I see eyelinger commercials?
--oTTo--
Boy George still sucks
bar...@bookpro.com
Parry) wrote:
>The thing about colors is they don't work the way people kept lying
>to you in third grade -- the color wheel is a crock. In the real world,
>bright yellow paint mixed with bright blue paint won't give you bright
>green, you'll get dingy dark green.
WHY DO YOU HATE THE COLOR KITTENS?
BW
Captain Infinity
>I got a lot of great reactions to the fluorescent red hair today, it's
>really making quite an impression.
How many people asked you for a Big Mac?
**
Captain Infinity
..."That robot reminds me of you: tell it to stop, it turns.
Tell it to turn, it stops. Tell it to take out the garbage,
it watches reruns of Firefly." --"Bones"
Jeremy D. Impson
> [...] amd eyebrows have so little hair (and such fine hair) [...]
[...]
> [...] They should invent a pill that lets people grow their eyebrows as
> long as they want so that Dr. Seuss fans can sculpt them into crazy
> shapes, because nothing makes people look as insane as having big curly
> eyebrows. If you don't believe me, look at Andy Rooney.
They should invent a pill to give the rest of us these fine- and
sparse-haired eyebrows of which you speak. And one that makes them stop
growing up your forehead like ivy.
--Jeremy
--
Jeremy Impson
jdimpson can be contacted at acm dot org
http://impson.tzo.com/~jdimpson
James Kibo Parry
Rose Marie Holt (rmh...@mindspring.com) wrote:
>
> Perhaps you are too young to recall "The Wood Ducks' World" showing the
> hatching of 6 wood ducks and why the world is not overcome with the wood
> duck population. In graphic detail. Popular jr high stuff, like the
> Tacoma Narrows bridge and the flea circus film.
Never heard of "The Wood Ducks' World", though I do recall "Lame Ducks",
which was the John Turturro film an entire issue of National Lampoon
was devoted to plugging sometime in the '80s. The issue contained about
twelve identical ads for the movie, which was then vaulted and later
released under a different title that only implied it was lame rather
than stating it outright. ("Brain Donors") It was nice to see someone
attempting to make a new Marx Brothers / Three Stooges movie, but
they forgot to first travel back in time fifty years so they could
release the movie back when people were still sitting around thinking
"You know, the original five Marx Brothers weren't enough! Let's make
up three more so they can aspire to the greatness of Zeppo and Gummo!"
It had its moments, and at least it was short (it was edited down to
74 minutes by the time it was eventually released) but come on,
why did anyone ever even try to promote a movie called "Lame Ducks"?
"The Wood Ducks' World" sounds like something Phil Dick would write
after receiving a letter from the Audobon Society saying, "Dear Phil,
we know you're too poor to donate money, so please instead donate
an original science-fiction story about ducks, preferably written
under the influence of at least two of the following: speed, LSD,
heroin, and Percodan." It would depict the tyrannical reign of
ducks enslaving humanity and forcing all sailors to go pantsless
like Donald Duck.
-- K.
And then Hollywood would buy
the rights to the story and
make it into a movie called
"Lame Ducks".
I say we should get Graeme Garden,
Bill Oddie, and Tim Brooke-Taylor
to make a hilarious parody of
"Lame Ducks". With Rowan Atkinson
as Margaret Dumont!
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > I got a lot of great reactions to the fluorescent red hair today, it's
> > really making quite an impression.
>
> How many people asked you for a Big Mac?
I did get one woman who yelled (in a sarcastic voice, in Target)
"OOH LOOK, IT'S SANTA!" because apparently Santa is a skinny guy
with a leather jacket and red hair. I was tempted to say, "No,
I'd need to gain about a hundred and fifty pounds to be Santa.
But you'd be perfect!" but chose to turn the other cheek instead
because I didn't want to embarrass her in front of her little kid.
(He might not yet have figured out that his momma's nearly spherical.)
The stunt I've been pulling for the past two days is to go places
while wearing all black except for a bright red ski mask. Then if
people stare at the ski mask, I pull it off and reveal that my
hair and beard are exactly the same color. People always find it
highly disturbing when your hair matches your clothes.
I'm highly tempted to start performing as a street mime while
wearing the brightly-colored ski mask, because then I'd watch
people's brains melting from the cognitive dissonance of one
hemisphere needing to stare at the brightly-colored mask and
the other hemisphere needing to ignore the annoying street mime.
-- K.
Hey Japan, I think I just
invented something more
irritating than butoh!
James Kibo Parry
> sparse-haired eyebrows of which you speak. And one that makes them stop
> growing up your forehead like ivy.
You know, they already invented that pill in convenient scissors form.
Also in convenient tweezer form.
I notice that as I age, my little silky-soft eyebrow hairs are
gradually being invaded by longer, stiff hairs. The big chunky
hairs grow much longer than the fine ones. I don't mind them so
much, it's the ones inside my ears that I wish would not grow
back after I yank them out. If science ever figures out how a
hair can grow back after being pulled out and thrown away, they
should harness that power to give your garden an inexhaustible
supply of carrots.
-- K.
Have you considered just
doing like Whoopi Goldberg
and losing your eyebrows
in a Transporter accident?
Kevin S. Wilson
<jdim...@acm.spam.org> wrote:
>They should invent a pill to give the rest of us these fine- and
>sparse-haired eyebrows of which you speak. And one that makes them stop
>growing up your forehead like ivy.
>
Worst song by Grace Slick ever!
Bryce Utting
ITYM "*TRY* the *WINE*."
> Still got it stuck your head?
nope (lies), but, and I say this from experience, it's generally a bad
idea to get film geeks tipsy the day after they've seen ACO and met
McDowell and then plonk a bottle of red in front of them.
butting
--
I am very new to programming drivers so if I sound un-knowledgeable
then it's because I am.
-- first4internet's Ceri Coburn on writing Sony's DRM rootkit
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > The thing about colors is they don't work the way people kept lying
> > to you in third grade -- the color wheel is a crock. In the real world,
> > bright yellow paint mixed with bright blue paint won't give you bright
> > green, you'll get dingy dark green.
>
> WHY DO YOU HATE THE COLOR KITTENS?
It's Play-Doh that hates kitties and other living things. Ever tried
to follow their directions for making orange by mixing red and yellow?
You get this lousy pastel peach (because Play-Doh is opaque, mixing
the two colors will give you something with half as much red pigment
and half as much yellow pigment as the original colors. Opaque stuff
like Play-Doh gets pale when you mix it.) I think the people who wrote
the little color mixing chart on the Play-Doh wrapper when I was a kid
had the philosophy, "Eh, screw the kids, lying to all the children
in the world is easier than actually selling more than four colors."
Nowadays the Play-Doh company has figured out that they can make more
money by selling actual orange Play-Doh instead of telling you to
attempt to make your own colors. (Why did it take so long for them
to realize that they needed black Play-Doh?)
Now, 50% white Play-Doh plus 50% black Play-Doh actually does make
medium gray -- one of the few color combinations in the Play-Doh
spectrum which works the way the grown-ups lie to you about colors --
but just try making gray by mixing 50% white paint with 50% black
paint. You'll get something which is indistinguishable from black
without a spectroscope.
I think a lot of this emphasis on teaching kids bogus color theory
about "the three primary colors" derives from Friedrich Froebel's
original kindergarten syllabus. When he invented kindergarten,
the first lessons -- for the first six months or so -- revolved
around six colored woolen balls, with one of the activities being
to twirl the red one and the yellow one together so they looked
orange. Of course, that being Germany, these lessons led to a
whole nation of architects obsessed with making everything out
of red, yellow, and blue cubes. Lego-colored Bauhaus architecture
seems to be making a comeback around here, Boston's gotten several
new buildings in the past few years that look like that.
(See Norman Brosterman's wonderful book "Inventing Kindergarten"
for more details on how Froebel's educational ideas shaped the work
of Le Corbusier, Mondrian, Frank Lloyd Wright, etc. -- reading that
book was the only way I could figure out why my kindergarten classroom
had all those boxes of brightly-colored wooden triangles nobody
ever did anything with. I think I've mentioned the book before,
but it's an important read for anyone who wants to realize just
how lame modern American early education is compared to what it
was named after.)
The two lasting influences of Froebel's kindergarten system seem
to be this obsession with the idea that you can make colors by
mixing red, yellow, and blue, and a bunch of songs like
"I'm A Little Teapot" and "Happy Birthday". Unless you happen
to have gone to a Montessori school, in which case you may
have been exposed to some of Froebel's actual teaching methods
and are probably too smart to be reading this, or at least busy
playing with your Lego Mindstorms.
(How many of you folks are too young to have ever played with a
bunch of identical wooden cube-blocks? I miss wooden cubes.
Nowadays kids' toys all have parts that can break, get lost,
or be swallowed, but wooden cubes were indestructible and
harmless, unless you threw them, which is probably why Froebel
started kids with the colored deedlee balls before letting
them get their hands on the harder stuff.)
Personal pet peeve: When people refer to something in some shade
of blue as "primary blue". This might mean cyan (which is primary
in the CMYK printing process) or ultramarine (which is often primary
painters' color-wheel systems) or a medium blue (which is primary
on your RGB computer screen.) In other words, any shade of blue
from the greenish end to the bluish end of the entire range of blues
gets called "primary" under various circumstances, so specifying
that the blue you want is "primary blue" is just as meaningless
as saying "I don't want just any blue, I want the _color_ blue!"
You can usually make these people's heads explode by asking them
"So do you want your primary blue accented with warm gray, or
cool gray?" 'cause they'll also think gray is a neutral color
whereas in real life there is no such thing as neutral gray 'cause
of light bulbs and stuff.
For more of my personal philosophy about color, push my "rant"
button any day.
-- K.
People don't care enough about color,
which is why they let big corporations
take all the bright colors away from them.
Cam
Tim Chmielewski wrote:
> Also, why can't people quote some decent dystopian stories for a change
> when they are protesting. In "quote" I mean actually act out pivotal scenes
> from A Clockwork Orange, Rollerball or THX 1138.
>
>
Renew! Renew! Renew!
Cam
James Kibo Parry
If I ever put on an old-timey hockey mask, you can be damn sure that
_that_ won't be the movie I'm planning on re-enacting. Besides, nobody
takes you seriously if you commit axe murders while wearing a glittery
figure-skating unitard. I'M TALKING TO YOU, DAVE FOLEY.
I've noticed that some DVDs now have a new version of the legal disclaimer
at the beginning. Everything used to say "The interviews and commentaries
do not necessarily represent the opinions of (name of movie studio)", but
now one studio is putting "The interviews and commentaries are for
entertainment purposes only," in case anyone tries to sue them after
taking stock tips from "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo". Every day of
my life I am thankful that "Fight Club" was released before they thought
of putting prohibitions on what we can do after we watch movies.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go out and buy some more lye.
-- K.
If the movie "Fight Club"
didn't exist, I'd have to
invent it out of stone
knives and bearskins.
Logic is a little bird
that smells bad.
Kevin S. Wilson
Parry) wrote:
>For more of my personal philosophy about color, push my "rant"
>button any day.
It always comes back around to me being black, doesn't it?
David DeLaney
>(How many of you folks are too young to have ever played with a
>bunch of identical wooden cube-blocks?
I see your identical wooden cube-blocks and raise you a SOMA cube.
Dave "and a set of paper pentominoes" DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
pete
> Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go out and buy some more lye.
I have to return some video tapes.
--
pete
James Kibo Parry
pete (pfi...@mindspring.com) wrote:
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go out and buy some more lye.
>
> I have to return some video tapes.
You can't, I already crashed a big gold ball into the video store.
Sorry, I'm always one step ahead, because everything you know, I know.
I'm your evil twin, except I'm not real, and also, sorry about blowing
up your apartment and all the White Castle wrappers in your giant
revolving computer-animated wastebasket. I'm in your brain. I'm a
tumor named Videodrome -- whoops, wait, I forgot for a second that
"Videodrome" wasn't the same movie as "Fight Club" despite the two
movies having almost the same title except for the words.
I'm not sure whether David Fincher's "Fight Club" or David Cronenberg's
"Videodrome" is the movie I spend the most time accidentally re-enacting,
but I'm sure it's one of those two. I stand by my assertion that they
should show little kids "Fight Club" instead of "Paddle To The Sea".
I just saw Fincher's "The Game", which was the same movie as "Fight Club"
except dumber than "Gymkata". Seriously, did David Fincher direct that
film with a multiple concussion and a stomachful of whatever drug makes
you the stupidest? Still, it was good to see Deborah Karr Unger with
her real eyebrows, which are slightly smaller than the incredibly freaky
giant diagonal eyebrows she had in "Crash".
I refer you to my earlier complaint that women who shave their eyebrows
so they can draw them back on with a grease pencil look like they're
from another planet, or David Cronenberg movies. Next time you run into
one of these women with troweled-on eyebrows, ask her to stage an
erotic car crash for you, unless you'd rather have her re-enact "The Game",
which would be hard to do because you'd have to find an all-night store
that rents evil clown ventriloquist dummies.
What if Fincher and Cronenberg directed a movie together? I think it
would go something like this:
SAM DONALDSON, with extra-large eyebrows, sprouts a new penis
from his forehead. CAMERA FLIES THROUGH the urethra.
Then SAM uses a medical instrument shaped like CTHULHU to
rip open one of his twelve rectums and CAMERA FLIES THROUGH.
I should get a job writing for David Cronenberg. I mean, I can
pull scenes like that out of any of my asses!
Either that or I should just start a company which charges rich
guys millions of dollars to play The Game but not tell them that
we're just going to be re-enacting "Gymkata". I'll be back in
a little while, I gotta go pose all the flag ninjas now.
-- K.
What sort of aptitude test
do you have to fail to be
a flag ninja?
"Paddle To The Sea" needed some
flag ninjas. And a naturally-
occurring pommel-horse.
Chris McGonnell
Yeah, just 'cause you're so damned super-sensitive about it. You
don't see me bitching and moaning about being
Irish/Welsh/Scots-Irish/German/Anglo-Saxon, do you? Hell, if I get
drunk I declare war on myself. And there's no French to surrender, so
the fightin' gets intense.
--
Chris McG.
Harming humanity since 1951.
"McGonnell, welcome to Plonksville, population: You" -- Stacia
TeaLady (Mari C.)
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> On Wed, 21 Dec 2005 12:40:30 -0700, Kevin S. Wilson wrote:
>
>>On Wed, 21 Dec 2005 13:42:13 -0500, ki...@world.std.com
>>(James "Kibo" Parry) wrote:
>>
>>>For more of my personal philosophy about color, push my
>>>"rant" button any day.
>>
>>It always comes back around to me being black, doesn't it?
>
> Yeah, just 'cause you're so damned super-sensitive about
> it. You don't see me bitching and moaning about being
> Irish/Welsh/Scots-Irish/German/Anglo-Saxon, do you? Hell,
> if I get drunk I declare war on myself. And there's no
> French to surrender, so the fightin' gets intense.
>
The Welsh in me sang a song about my glorious deeds
The Scots in me counted out the cost of the battle, then stole
some coos from the next valley over to feed the troops
The Irish in me cursed, fought like hell and knocked me out,
then wandered off and got drunk
The German in me made bad jokes about it and laughed
--
TeaLady (mari)
"The principal of Race is meant to embody and express the
utter negation of human freedom, the denial of equal rights, a
challenge in the face of mankind." A. Kolnai