people sure do google
Talysman the Ur-Beatle
I know this, I've known it for a while, but I keep putting it off. but
I really need to do it soon. so, to plan what I should do, I decided to
look back over the past year's site statistics and mock -- err, analyze
the search words people are using to get to my website.
here's the top 20, not quite in order:
# 1. surrealism
# 19. surrealism graphic design
# 20. surrealism in films
probably my fault, since I include "surrealism" as a keyword. but
really, I *intended* to post some surrealist content. I just haven't
done so. perhaps I should change my keywords to "lazy surrealism".
# 2. deep fried twinkies
# 12. fried twinkies
# 14. deep fried twinkie
# 22. twinkie
at least people searching for "deep fried twinkies" aren't disappointed
when they find my website. mmm, white trash goodness!
# 3. other
"other"? what the hell kind of search word is that? is that what people
type in google when they want to find something, but they can't
remember what they are looking for? or is it some kind of secret
"random google webpage" keyword?
# 4. 48
this is even more confusing than "other". not only do I find it hard to
imagine why someone would type "48" into a search box, but I'm not sure
why my website would come up in the search. did I mention the number 48
somewhere? am I being stalked by crazed numerologists who want to drill
holes in my head to find out the secret name of god?
# 5. downtown sacramento
# 11. pictures of downtown sacramento
# 16. downtown sacramento pictures
I did post a bunch of pics of downtown Sacramento and babble about it a
bit, so this is reasonable. I'm sure people found my goofy squirrel
pictures completely useless, though.
# 6. deep fried snickers
only mentioned in passing when I talked about deep-fried twinkies, so
these people were probably disappointed with my website. now, of
course, I can't sample deep-fried snickers in order to report on them,
because I might ERUPT and DIE.
# 7. history of the marimba
# 17. marimba
you poor, poor suckers, doing college term papers on musical
instruments! too bad all you find is weird-ass experimental music.
# 8. i am temple
HEAR ME ROAR!
# 9. rudolphs shiny new year
# 24. the year without a santa claus
these searches lead people into my giganormous reviews of Rankin/Bass
holiday cartoons, so they might be partially appeased.
# 10. 37517
damn those numerologists!
# 13. rpg design
I haven't posted anything about rpg design yet, just a couple of my
actual rpgs. I should probably skim through some of my babbling on The
Forge, rewrite some of them, and post them as essays, plus include
links to other design websites.
# 15. mural
part of my photos of Sacramento collection includes a wack-ass mural
that shows a guy hurling a dog at some people in a nightclub. I'm not
really sure that's what people are looking for, but hey, that's what
they get.
# 18. satanic church
# 21. satanic temple
this is almost as funny as the poor little kids researching the history
of the marimba. I can just picture some heavy metal 14-year-old
shouting "HAIL SHAITAN! MY OVERINFLATED DARK LORD!" as my website
slowly loads. unfortunately, it leads him to a page about the Order of
the Eastern Star temple near me, which has an impressive glowing neon
pentagram that I have so far been unable to properly photograph at
night.
# 23. long dong silver
and now you know the secret to my great success.
# 25. earth vs the flying saucers
mmmm, saucery goodness. this leads to a review of the movie, of course.
I could probably update it. I should put photos I took of the
Washington DC metro station that gets targetted by a crashing saucer in
the movie.
assorted other search terms that show up on my list: "funny fat people"
(?), "julia bulette" (this leads to a discussion of a D&D monster,)
"elephant" (??), and "heat miser costumes" and "bruce willis sex
scene". I hope the last two searchs aren't by the same group of people.
so, it seems obvious that I need to cater more to the porn-loving white
trash satanic numerologists who want to watch Santa fight UFOs in
downtown Sacramento.
I better get to work.
Captain Infinity
>I eventually have to revamp my website.
<snip research>
What are you using to determine which keywords are driving people to
your web site? I'd be interested in trying it myself.
**
Captain Infinity
Rich Holmes
> mmmm, saucery goodness. this leads to a review of the movie, of course.
> I could probably update it. I should put photos I took of the
> Washington DC metro station that gets targetted by a crashing saucer in
> the movie.
Um, there wasn't a Washingon DC Metro at the time that movie was
filmed.
Also, I need to know where to download AnyBrowser since Firefox
doesn't render your site correctly:
<http://www.richholmes.net/doctroid/misc_images/gs.jpg>
> I better get to work.
Oh yeah.
--
- Doctroid Doctroid Holmes <http://www.richholmes.net/doctroid/>
"But only with kibological dooomsday bombs do you get the authentic
wacky boing." -- John D Salt
Mark South
schnipp
> # 13. rpg design
>
> I haven't posted anything about rpg design yet, just a couple of my
> actual rpgs.
Dr Salt would like this, I know. We both believe that the RPG-7,
while offering an inexpensive artillery solution, has room for
improvement. Please include a HESH warhead design and make it a bit
lighter, maybe it should fold down to fit into a small backpack.
schnipp
> so, it seems obvious that I need to cater more to the porn-loving white
> trash satanic numerologists who want to watch Santa fight UFOs in
> downtown Sacramento.
And RPG enthusiasts.
PS The NSA and DHS are both watching you now. Observe the black
helicopters of liberty outside your &%į[[][*Į+"/$$%=)()/NO CARRIER
--
mark south: world citizen, net denizen
echo znexfb...@lnubb.pb.hx|tr a-z n-za-m
Talysman the Ur-Beatle
> "Talysman the Ur-Beatle" <taly...@gmail.com> writes:
>
> > mmmm, saucery goodness. this leads to a review of the movie, of course.
> > I could probably update it. I should put photos I took of the
> > Washington DC metro station that gets targetted by a crashing saucer in
> > the movie.
>
> Um, there wasn't a Washingon DC Metro at the time that movie was
> filmed.
however, the station I was thinking about (which Manfire just confirmed
is Union Station,) also serves as a regular train station, and has done
so since 1907 or 1908.
there's a great shot in EvFS of a saucer crashing through that one big
window. I had no idea what the place was when I first saw the movie,
but when I was at Union Station (transferring from the metro to a tour
bus,) I saw that window and said "HEY! where's the crashed saucer?"
and then these men in black came and hauled me away, and I was never
seen again.
> Also, I need to know where to download AnyBrowser since Firefox
> doesn't render your site correctly:
>
> <http://www.richholmes.net/doctroid/misc_images/gs.jpg>
what makes you think I wasn't trying for *exactly* that confused
effect?
I'm not even sure there was a Firefox when I designed my website.
Talysman the Ur-Beatle
> On Tue, 29 Nov 2005 18:10:36 -0800, Talysman the Ur-Beatle wrote:
>
> schnipp
>
> > # 13. rpg design
> >
> > I haven't posted anything about rpg design yet, just a couple of my
> > actual rpgs.
>
> Dr Salt would like this, I know. We both believe that the RPG-7,
> while offering an inexpensive artillery solution, has room for
> improvement. Please include a HESH warhead design and make it a bit
> lighter, maybe it should fold down to fit into a small backpack.
hey, HESH will include whatever rpg designs HESH feels like.
but only if HESH gets some SEX!
> > so, it seems obvious that I need to cater more to the porn-loving white
> > trash satanic numerologists who want to watch Santa fight UFOs in
> > downtown Sacramento.
>
> And RPG enthusiasts.
you say that as if it's a distinct category from "porn-loving white
trash satanic numerologists". haven't you watched Pat Robertson?
> PS The NSA and DHS are both watching you now. Observe the black
> helicopters of liberty outside your &%ç[[][*Ç+"/$$%=)()/NO CARRIER
dQQd, DHS uses yellow vans now, not black helicopters. and they're much
too busy delivering and returning Powerbooks to/from Tom Kraemer to be
watching me.