There are 2 clones, one of the clones is real nice
and well mannered, while the other one is real
nasty and mean and always says bad words. So one
day the 'good' clone pushes the 'bad' clone off
the roof of a building. The next day the police
come to his house and arrests him for making an
obscene clone fall!
I read it on jokes.com and didn't get it. Please don't make fun of me, I'm
very sensitive.
Thanks, "damn monkey" Cloth
I'll do my best.
> There are 2 clones, one of the clones is real nice
> and well mannered, while the other one is real
> nasty and mean and always says bad words. So one
> day the 'good' clone pushes the 'bad' clone off
> the roof of a building. The next day the police
> come to his house and arrests him for making an
> obscene clone fall!
Ok. See, the thing is, this joke revolves around the debate
about whether or not genetics are the chief influence on the
development of the human personality. I suggest you pick up
a Psychologie text book and check the index for "nature vs.
nurture".
Once you are certain you completely understand what they are
talking about, re-read the joke. I'm betting you will laugh
out loud.
--
~
~
~
"Daniel Buettner" line 4 of 4 --100%--
>There are 2 clones, one of the clones is real nice
>and well mannered, while the other one is real
>nasty and mean and always says bad words. So one
>day the 'good' clone pushes the 'bad' clone off
>the roof of a building. The next day the police
>come to his house and arrests him for making an
>obscene clone fall!
It's a play on "obscene phone call."
Which is what we used to do in high school, when we called up KFC to ask if
they had any breasts.
red
Yes. I can explain it.
It, like all other jokes IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE, is not
funny, BY DEFINITION.
-- Kapusniak, Stefan e
Red, do you have any CHICKEN????
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!!
GIF! GIF! GIF! GIF! GIF! GIF! GIF! GIF! GIF! GIF!
J "white meat" M
--
Joe Manfre, Hyattsville, Maryland.------> Why have many
prominent alt.religion.kibology participants joined the
"Happy 50th Birthday, Archimedes Plutonium" list? Find
out at: http://manfre-land.com/miscellany/archie.html
http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary
Main Entry: spoo·ner·ism
Pronunciation: 'spü-n&-"ri-z&m
Function: noun
Etymology: William A. Spooner died 1930 English clergyman & educator
Date: 1900
: a transposition of usually initial sounds of two or more words
(as in tons of soil for sons of toil)
--
pete
HAW HAW YEAH BECAUSE RED WAS REALLY FLAT THEN TOO^H^H^H!!!!
Now explain the green golfball joke to me, please. It's so vague.
--
Nick Bensema <ni...@io.com> ICQ#2135445
```` ``````` ``````````````
GAME OVER INSERT COIN BEFORE YOU BUY
oh. OH!! I GET IT NOW!
having given this excellent demonstration of humor further (five seconds) of
thought, I can now tell that this, more than a joke, is an attempt to
present both the argument's extermities in completion. the good clone/bad
clone contrast must represent the side of the argument that claims that
human nature is more to do with freedom of will rather than genetics! the
cops however, they do not CARE that the bad clone has said a BAD WORD! they
do not care that the good clone has been doing what every good american
would have done under the circumstances, short of launching an attack on
canada, furthermore, they would actually say something as abysmally STUPID
as "obscene clone fall!!!!!!" without the exclamation marks! this
CANNOT.BE.A.PRODUCT.OF.FREE.WILL!
Your attempt to introduce your FASCIST-COOMUNIST-LIBRARIAN AGENDA into my
laughing has not escaped me, jokes.com. in retaliation, I shall now proceed
to downvote EVERY JOKE IN THERE BY ONE MONKEY! AGAIN!
"Damn monkey" Cloth
I fear the implication that once Deja.com loses sections of its archive,
that part of history never happened anymore.
OH NO! NOW I'VE NEVER BEEN TO SEATTLE! I WONDER WHAT IT'S LIKE!
I'D LIKE TO TRY SUSHI BUT IT MIGHT GROSS ME OUT!
> J "white meat" M
You know, jarai was freaked out for weeks after you told him you think
he's attractive.
You're probably thinking, "Huh?" and I'd cite an example, but deja.com
ate all my old posts so now I'm a newbie cluefuck again.
SO WHAT IS A BEABLE????????
Thank you,
Newbie red
Nick "The OTHER white meat" Bensema. Teg Pipes will now scream.
> You know, jarai was freaked out for weeks after you told him you think
> he's attractive.
SO DON'T TELL PEOPLE THAT!
> You're probably thinking, "Huh?" and I'd cite an example, but deja.com
> ate all my old posts so now I'm a newbie cluefuck again.
La la la!
LALA LA LA!
La la la!
LALA LA LA!
> SO WHAT IS A BEABLE????????
A lerv machine that gets all the chyx?
cheers
Beable van Polasm
--
WHAT WOULD JOE BAY DO?
I was really surprised to be asked here tonight to honour Bob Hope.
Surprised isn't the right word... annoyed -- Ronald Reagan
http://members.xoom.com/_______/index.html
> > SO WHAT IS A BEABLE????????
>
> A lerv machine that gets all the chyx?
Look out! Beable's going "down under." Fnar!
red
> OH NO! NOW I'VE NEVER BEEN TO SEATTLE! I WONDER WHAT IT'S LIKE!
> I'D LIKE TO TRY SUSHI BUT IT MIGHT GROSS ME OUT!
OH MY GOD! I WAS NEVER IN MARCHING BAND! IN ALL CAPS!!!
red
WHO ARE YOU? WHAT IS THIS STRANGE PLACE? HOW DO I USE THIS FUNKY
EDITOR!
/S
/SAVE
.S
/s
quit
exit
>In article <moldau-9B52FB....@news.earthlink.net>,
>red <mol...@86THISearthlink.net> wrote:
>>In article <8j1hma$655$1...@hiram.io.com>, ni...@fnord.io.com (Nick
>>Bensema) wrote:
>>
>>> OH NO! NOW I'VE NEVER BEEN TO SEATTLE! I WONDER WHAT IT'S LIKE!
>>> I'D LIKE TO TRY SUSHI BUT IT MIGHT GROSS ME OUT!
>>
>>OH MY GOD! I WAS NEVER IN MARCHING BAND! IN ALL CAPS!!!
>
>WHO ARE YOU? WHAT IS THIS STRANGE PLACE? HOW DO I USE THIS FUNKY
>EDITOR!
>/S
>/SAVE
>.S
>/s
>quit
>exit
from emacs/jokes:
>From: pa...@athena.mit.edu (Patrick J. LoPresti)
>Message-ID: <1991Jul11....@athena.mit.edu>
>Sender: ne...@athena.mit.edu (News system)
>Subject: The True Path (long)
>Date: 11 Jul 91 03:17:31 GMT
>Path: ai-lab!mintaka!olivea!samsung!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!think.com!snorkelwacker.mit.edu!bloom-picayune.mit.edu!athena.mit.edu!patl
>Newsgroups: alt.religion.emacs,alt.slack
>Organization: Massachusetts Institute of Technology
>Lines: 95
>Xref: ai-lab alt.religion.emacs:244 alt.slack:1935
^^^ I'm impressed.
>
>When I log into my Xenix system with my 110 baud teletype, both vi
>*and* Emacs are just too damn slow. They print useless messages like,
>'C-h for help' and '"foo" File is read only'. So I use the editor
>that doesn't waste my VALUABLE time.
>
>Ed, man! !man ed
>
>ED(1) UNIX Programmer's Manual ED(1)
>
>NAME
> ed - text editor
>
>SYNOPSIS
> ed [ - ] [ -x ] [ name ]
>DESCRIPTION
> Ed is the standard text editor.
>---
>
>Computer Scientists love ed, not just because it comes first
>alphabetically, but because it's the standard. Everyone else loves ed
>because it's ED!
>
>"Ed is the standard text editor."
>
>And ed doesn't waste space on my Timex Sinclair. Just look:
>
>-rwxr-xr-x 1 root 24 Oct 29 1929 /bin/ed
>-rwxr-xr-t 4 root 1310720 Jan 1 1970 /usr/ucb/vi
>-rwxr-xr-x 1 root 5.89824e37 Oct 22 1990 /usr/bin/emacs
>
>Of course, on the system *I* administrate, vi is symlinked to ed.
>Emacs has been replaced by a shell script which 1) Generates a syslog
>message at level LOG_EMERG; 2) reduces the user's disk quota by 100K;
>and 3) RUNS ED!!!!!!
>
>"Ed is the standard text editor."
>
>Let's look at a typical novice's session with the mighty ed:
>
>golem> ed
>
>?
>help
>?
>?
>?
>quit
>?
>exit
>?
>bye
>?
>hello?
>?
>eat flaming death
>?
>^C
>?
>^C
>?
>^D
>?
>
>---
>Note the consistent user interface and error reportage. Ed is
>generous enough to flag errors, yet prudent enough not to overwhelm
>the novice with verbosity.
>
>"Ed is the standard text editor."
>
>Ed, the greatest WYGIWYG editor of all.
>
>ED IS THE TRUE PATH TO NIRVANA! ED HAS BEEN THE CHOICE OF EDUCATED
>AND IGNORANT ALIKE FOR CENTURIES! ED WILL NOT CORRUPT YOUR PRECIOUS
>BODILY FLUIDS!! ED IS THE STANDARD TEXT EDITOR! ED MAKES THE SUN
>SHINE AND THE BIRDS SING AND THE GRASS GREEN!!
>
>When I use an editor, I don't want eight extra KILOBYTES of worthless
>help screens and cursor positioning code! I just want an EDitor!!
>Not a "viitor". Not a "emacsitor". Those aren't even WORDS!!!! ED!
>ED! ED IS THE STANDARD!!!
>
>TEXT EDITOR.
>
>When IBM, in its ever-present omnipotence, needed to base their
>"edlin" on a UNIX standard, did they mimic vi? No. Emacs? Surely
>you jest. They chose the most karmic editor of all. The standard.
>
>Ed is for those who can *remember* what they are working on. If you
>are an idiot, you should use Emacs. If you are an Emacs, you should
>not be vi. If you use ED, you are on THE PATH TO REDEMPTION. THE
>SO-CALLED "VISUAL" EDITORS HAVE BEEN PLACED HERE BY ED TO TEMPT THE
>FAITHLESS. DO NOT GIVE IN!!! THE MIGHTY ED HAS SPOKEN!!!
--
Barnabas T. Rumjuggler
More than half the people on the planet are female.
OR WYMMYN AS WE LIKE TO CALL THEM IN THE TRADE!!
-- Beable van Polasm
>from emacs/jokes:
That should be emacs/etc/jokes
--
Barnabas T. Rumjuggler
The 20-line Paradise Lost:
Paradise: / Enter Vice, / Satan / Waitin'. / Eve falls; / Adam bawls, /
Falls too. / What to do? / Stole fruit, / Ate loot. / Man bad, / God mad. /
No hope? / How to cope? / Christ is come, / Man's chum. / Dies on cross, /
Pleases Boss, / Saves all. / Lucky fall!
-- Alan Isler, _Kraven Images_
But, he didn't get arrested because he was WITHIN THE LAW!!
HAW HAW! C00TER!
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
--
RC
>In article <8F5CC40F8...@209.30.0.14>, man...@flash.net (Joe
>Manfre) wrote:
>
>> J "white meat" M
>
>You know, jarai was freaked out for weeks after you told him you think
>he's attractive.
>
>You're probably thinking, "Huh?" and I'd cite an example, but deja.com
>ate all my old posts so now I'm a newbie cluefuck again.
You'd cite an example of *what*, exactly?
If he doesn't want me to think he's attractive he ought
to get unattractive quick! Like me!
http://manfre-land.com/dc215/joem.jpg <-- Joe in his automobile
JM
I typed "man ed" and found out.. guess what...
"red" is the restricted text editor.
RAD, RED!
>HAW HAW!!! I'm in emacs and "Bensema" isn't.
>Does this mean I get my own man?
If you think that's apropos.
--
Joseph M. Bay Boy Genius
Putting the "harm" in the "Molecular Pharmacology" since 1997
(Oo) Someone you trust is One of Us. (oO)
/{|\ C'thulu saves -- in case he's hungry later. /|}\
Jar-Jar Binks shaped candy.
C-h a my own man
No apropos matches for `my own man'
rone
YOU LIE LIKE A BAD GOLF SHOT, JOE CEPHALIC BAY!!
--
"Boss, was he singing what I thought he was singing?"
"A young man tells his beloved of his love for her."
"'My little hairy testicle--'"
"It's a cultural thing, Loiosh. You wouldn't understand." - Steven Brust
>I read it on jokes.com and didn't get it. Please don't make fun of me, I'm
>very sensitive.
What makes this joke funny is that before he pushed the 'bad' clone,
the 'good' clone covered the other in elephant dung. Of course, by
pushing his clone off the roof, the 'good' clone became 'bad' and
caused a causality loop, which means that the policeman that made the
arrest was actually Jean Claude Van Damme as Timecop.
rone
> "red" is the restricted text editor.
>
> RAD, RED!
HAW HAW!!! I'm in emacs and "Bensema" isn't.
Does this mean I get my own man?
red
> red <mol...@86THISearthlink.net> writes:
>
>
> >HAW HAW!!! I'm in emacs and "Bensema" isn't.
>
> >Does this mean I get my own man?
>
> If you think that's apropos.
Well I was going to write, "Do I get my own 'man' entry?" but this is a
family newsgroup.
red
for the addams family!
HAW HAW! THAT'S FUNNY BECAUSE "apropos" IS ANOTHER NAME
FOR "man -k" AND KIBO SIGNS HIS POSTS "-K" AND THAT MEANS
THAT RED IS TRYING TO CRACK ONTO KIBO!!!!11!!!!
HAW HAW C00TER!
Kibo already has plenty of crack. He puts it in candy.
Now you know! HTH!
red
>jm...@Stanford.EDU (Joseph Michael Bay) writes:
>> red <mol...@86THISearthlink.net> writes:
>>
>> >HAW HAW!!! I'm in emacs and "Bensema" isn't.
>>
>> >Does this mean I get my own man?
>>
>> If you think that's apropos.
>
>HAW HAW! THAT'S FUNNY BECAUSE "apropos" IS ANOTHER NAME
>FOR "man -k" AND KIBO SIGNS HIS POSTS "-K" AND THAT MEANS
>THAT RED IS TRYING TO CRACK ONTO KIBO!!!!11!!!!
ALSO! M-x apropos! JUST LIKE C-h a! FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW
WHAT THEY'RE DOING WITH EMACS! BUT IT SURE FEELS NICE!
--
Barnabas T. Rumjuggler
I'm sure there isn't a single person alive who hasn't mistaken an
antimetabole for a chiasmus before.
-- John Flynn
>In article <8j3jnh$d...@epic5.Stanford.EDU>, jm...@Stanford.EDU (Joseph
>Michael Bay) wrote:
>
>> red <mol...@86THISearthlink.net> writes:
>>
>>
>> >HAW HAW!!! I'm in emacs and "Bensema" isn't.
>>
>> >Does this mean I get my own man?
>>
>> If you think that's apropos.
>
>Well I was going to write, "Do I get my own 'man' entry?" but this is a
>family newsgroup.
I think I understand. A "man" entry isn't suitable for family newsgroups
because with a "man" there's little chance of your ever being in the family
way, whereas with a man entry there exists at least the possibility,
depending on entryway. And then there's the question of what precisely
*your* having the man entry means. (quote from 88 lines about 44 women
here).
RED LIKES TO PUT IT IN!
ahem. I will now return to posting uninteresting stuff. I mean
uninteresting stuff not about sex.
--
Barnabas T. Rumjuggler
Richard Feynman's last words were "I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring."
On a blackboard across town from the hospital in which he was staying, he
had written "what I do not create I do not understand."
RSFC Schtick Police here.
You owe Mike Marron one dollar ($1) for use of the word, "cluefuck."
Since he's not here, I'll take it, and be sure to give it to him
just as soon as he returns.
cb
Time to repost...
Dave "Kibo will do the honors" DeLaney
PS: I know all of you are just waiting to see an ASCII drawing of the blonde
with the raccoon-eye makeup. Well, it's _not gonna happen_. By which I mean,
of course, that someone -else- will follow up with it...
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://panacea.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ/ I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
>Could someone explain this joke to me:
>
>There are 2 clones, one of the clones is real nice
>and well mannered, while the other one is real
>nasty and mean and always says bad words. So one
>day the 'good' clone pushes the 'bad' clone off
>the roof of a building. The next day the police
>come to his house and arrests him for making an
>obscene clone fall!
>
>I read it on jokes.com and didn't get it. Please don't make fun of me, I'm
>very sensitive.
>
That's not a joke. It's a true story.
>which means that the policeman that made the
>arrest was actually Jean Claude Van Damme as Timecop.
>
I wanna be a 'Timecop'. Not because I would be stopping bad guys in terribly
exciting adventures but because I could slam my own head into a brick walkway
and come away with nothing but slightly discolored skin.
--
http://www.firewriter.com/horsehockey. Adventures of a lunatic.
"Xander, don't read latin in front of the books." - Giles
[Not all comic books are meant for kids, okay? So read some.]
> Well I was going to write, "Do I get my own 'man' entry?" but this is a
> family newsgroup.
>
> red
> for the addams family!
^^^^^^
YM "Manson". HTH!
k.
--
"In spite of everything, I still believe that people are
really good at heart." - Anne Frank
there's really no "l" in "cone"
HTH,
Luke
> there's really no "l" in "cone"
>
> HTH,
>
> Luke
Look who's back!
Nudge Nudge. Wink Wink.
--
~
~
~
"Daniel Buettner" line 4 of 4 --100%--
B1FF???/?
Alexander Abian?
BOB HOPE?????//??/!!!?!??11!
No, but seriously... WOOOOAH! Eh? Know what I mean?
-Luke
> In article <m3d7l6m...@beable.van.polasm.optusnet.com.au>, Beable
> van Polasm <bea...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>
> > HAW HAW! THAT'S FUNNY BECAUSE "apropos" IS ANOTHER NAME
> > FOR "man -k" AND KIBO SIGNS HIS POSTS "-K" AND THAT MEANS
> > THAT RED IS TRYING TO CRACK ONTO KIBO!!!!11!!!!
>
> Kibo already has plenty of crack. He puts it in candy.
I heard that some fat chyk was arrested at the airport. She
was trying to smuggle 25 pounds of crack through customs in
her underpants!
> Now you know! HTH!
I bet you wanted to know that!
cheers
Beable van Polasm
--
WHAT WOULD JOE BAY DO? IQC 78189333