On mummies
Lleah
I'd like to discuss the subject of mummies with all of you.
Specifically those that can now be found in a breakfast cereal we're
all familiar with: Kellogg's Froot Loops.
So Toucan Sam is lost in the ... jungles .. of Egypt. Or something.
Judging by the cartoon advertisement, Toucan Sam is lost and
frightened and he's visiting a bunch of big and dark tombs. The
violent airbrussing on Sam's nose has gotten out of control, btw.
SO ANYHOW ... he soon realises that the tombs are filled with MUMMIES!
So he puts them in his breakfast cereal.
????
Shall I ask the obvious questions here, just to make sure you're with
me?
1. Why is Toucan Sam in Egypt?
2. Why mummies?
3. Do Froot Loops remind people of mummies?
4. Do mummies remind people of Froot Loops?
5. What giant underground tomb was Sam visiting where they have loose
mummies stacked against walls?
6. What giant underground tomb was Sam visiting where they have loose
mummies who eventually jump into your breakfast cereal?
So forgetting the sheer boggle of misunderstanding that ensued upon
watching this ad due to the above questions, we will now move on to
the actual marshmallow "mummies".
They don't look like mummies. Tom and I decided that they sort of
resemble gym socks. And they're all white, not the usual pastel
assortment you're likely to see in oversugared cereals.
So what happened? Did the guy who designs the machine that poots out
marshmallow shapes try and make something actually RELATED to fruit
and instead came up with white oblong blobs? And then, say, he had
wasted all the company's time and money, so he had to figure out a way
to pitch the marshmallow shapes!
DESIGNER: Hey, guys, check this out! I've got a great pitch for
you!!! Are you ready?
....MUMMIES! ...
MONEYBAGS: I'm sorry, did you say "mummies"?
DESIGNER: Yeah! Check out these marshmallow mummies!
MONEYBAGS: Say, these ARE quality mummies! But what do they have to
do with Froot Loops?
DESIGNER: Doesn't matter! LOOK!!! MUMMIES!!!!
MONEYBAGS: YOu're right! Let's DO IT!
ANd so ... the happy mummies and the little crunchy fruit rings lived
happily ever after.
THE NED.
... Or IS it?!?!?
Nick Bensema
>Shall I ask the obvious questions here, just to make sure you're with
>me?
>
>1. Why is Toucan Sam in Egypt?
>2. Why mummies?
>3. Do Froot Loops remind people of mummies?
>4. Do mummies remind people of Froot Loops?
At least one child will become afraid of Froot Loops because of this
brilliant marketing move.
And that child will post to a.r.k!
--
Nick Bensema <ni...@io.com> ICQ#2135445
```` ``````` ``````````````
GAME OVER INSERT COIN IN BED
Mikal 606
"Lleah" <le...@seanet.com> wrote in message
news:39a3e89d...@news.seanet.com...
<snip>
> 1. Why is Toucan Sam in Egypt?
If it was good enough for Harrison Ford...
> 2. Why mummies?
Ummm?Duh?
http://www.kelloggs.com.au/08/10/0810.asp
> 3. Do Froot Loops remind people of mummies?
http://www.msnews.org/preserv.htm
It sure could!
> 4. Do mummies remind people of Froot Loops?
Only if they havent been part of this complete break fast, and are rushing
out the door with their bookbag over their shoulder and stuff.
And hey, the food pyramid.
> 5. What giant underground tomb was Sam visiting where they have loose
> mummies stacked against walls?
http://www-ceg.ceg.uiuc.edu/~haggag/hiero.html
I dont know!But write your name in heiroglyphics!
You cartouche too!
> 6. What giant underground tomb was Sam visiting where they have loose
> mummies who eventually jump into your breakfast cereal?
>
Amenophis I
> So forgetting the sheer boggle of misunderstanding that ensued upon
> watching this ad due to the above questions, we will now move on to
> the actual marshmallow "mummies".
>
> They don't look like mummies. Tom and I decided that they sort of
> resemble gym socks. And they're all white, not the usual pastel
> assortment you're likely to see in oversugared cereals.
>
> So what happened? Did the guy who designs the machine that poots out
> marshmallow shapes try and make something actually RELATED to fruit
> and instead came up with white oblong blobs? And then, say, he had
> wasted all the company's time and money, so he had to figure out a way
> to pitch the marshmallow shapes!
>
> DESIGNER: Hey, guys, check this out! I've got a great pitch for
> you!!! Are you ready?
> ....MUMMIES! ...
>
> MONEYBAGS: I'm sorry, did you say "mummies"?
>
> DESIGNER: Yeah! Check out these marshmallow mummies!
>
> MONEYBAGS: Say, these ARE quality mummies! But what do they have to
> do with Froot Loops?
>
> DESIGNER: Doesn't matter! LOOK!!! MUMMIES!!!!
>
> MONEYBAGS: YOu're right! Let's DO IT!
>
> ANd so ... the happy mummies and the little crunchy fruit rings lived
> happily ever after.
>
> THE NED.
>
> ... Or IS it?!?!?
>
>
>
NO!
james dolan
cereals are made by general mills because my memory said that chex
cereals are made by ralston-purina. visits to the general mills and
ralston-purina websites indicated that kibo was not trolling, and that
ralston-purina is just about exclusively in the pet food ("beggin'
strips" and the like) and pet products industry, and not in the human
food industry. this made me wonder how i could ever have gotten the
idea that ralston-purina made chex cereals (which i actually even sort
of like), when of course i knew that purina is a brand of pet food
(associations of human food with pet food being rather disgusting to
me even before i accidentally wandered into the sub-basement of the
biology lab at washington university that time and stumbled on the big
pile of institutional-size bags of purina rat chow and purina monkey
chow). i thought for a moment that i had hallucinated the
chex/ralston-purina connection on the basis of ralston-purina's
corporate address at "checkerboard square" in st. louis, but a visit
to
http://www.geocities.com/EnchantedForest/3278/cereal-generalmills.html
revealed that general mills's acquisition of ralston-purina's line of
chex and other cereals intended for human consumption happened only
just in 1997, and also that the general mills line of "monster"
cereals including count chocula, frankenberry, and booberry once (in
1987) included "fruity yummy mummy", described as an "artificial fruit
flavor frosted cereal with vanilla flavor marshmallows".
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Joseph Michael Bay
>In article <39a3e89d...@news.seanet.com>, Teg <le...@seanet.com> wrote:
>>Shall I ask the obvious questions here, just to make sure you're with
>>me?
>>1. Why is Toucan Sam in Egypt?
>>2. Why mummies?
>>3. Do Froot Loops remind people of mummies?
>>4. Do mummies remind people of Froot Loops?
>At least one child will become afraid of Froot Loops because of this
>brilliant marketing move.
So were the French really using mummies as fuel when they were
getting all colonial on Northern Africa? Or was that made up stuff?
Also, this cereal tastes like bitumen.
--
J o e B a y - o - B o y G e n i u s
CANCER (June 22-July 22): The stars think that's a nice place you've got,
Stanford and it would be a shame if anything should happen to it.
Califr0nia Like a fire, or something like that. Things burn, you know.
Shiro Akaishi
>
>"Lleah" <le...@seanet.com> wrote in message
>news:39a3e89d...@news.seanet.com...
>
><snip>
On a totally unrelated note, I have some questions for the Austrians among us
about their FAKETY FAKE FAKE Kellogggs serials.
3! Why are your Rice Krispies called Rice Bubbles??
V! Where are the GREAT AUSTRIAN RICE PADDIES where they get their all natural
AUSTRIAN GROWN rice from to make Rice Bubbles?
7! Who came up with the BRILLIANT idea to put BEEBARF on their ALL NATURAL Rice
Bubbles made from ALL NATURAL Austrian grown rice?
P! Are you AUSTRIANS anti-BEE? On the front of your box of ALL NATURAL Rice
Bubbles with beebarf there is a picture of an elf BRUTALLY HUNTING AND
CAPTURING a bee with a BIG NET.
ANSWERS WILL BE RECIEVED IN ESSAY FORM. THAT IS ALL.
--
//\ ICQ: 26175196
(/__\ "And I can see myself drifting off into eternity, or nothing,
/) \ or whatever it may be, with all sorts of bits of loose
/ \ string hanging out of my pocket." - Sir Alec Guinness
Crgre Jvyyneq
20:51:41 GMT]
<snip>
>So were the French really using mummies as fuel when they
>were getting all colonial on Northern Africa? Or was that
>made up stuff?
The Egyptians were major weirdos, so they mummified lots of
people and cats and stuff. So what if the Colonial Oppressors
used a few to keep the trains, laden with irreplaceable stolen
cultural artefacts, running on time?
--
Peter Willard http://www.drizzle.com/~petew
``At no other time has Nature concentrated such a wealth of
valuable nourishment into such a small space as in the cocoa
bean.''
Alexander von Humboldt (1769-1859), natural scientist
Andrew Reid
>So Toucan Sam is lost in the ... jungles .. of Egypt. Or something.
>Judging by the cartoon advertisement, Toucan Sam is lost and
>frightened and he's visiting a bunch of big and dark tombs. The
>violent airbrussing on Sam's nose has gotten out of control, btw.
>SO ANYHOW ... he soon realises that the tombs are filled with MUMMIES!
>
I love these surreal disconnects. A toucan with
an improbably large beak, sure, we can do that.
Named Sam. Sure. He's an advocate for sugary
frooty goodness, OK, we can do that too, and he
has froot colors on his beak, and he can jump and
fly and spin around and speak English. No problem.
He's in a jungle in Egypt.
HOLD THE PHONE!! ANY FULE NO AIN'T NO JUNGULES
IN EGYPT, YER LIARS, THAT'S *NOT* *REAL*!!!1!!
Oops, sorry, I got all bent out of shape
even *before* the questions....
>Shall I ask the obvious questions here, just to make sure you're with
>me?
>
>1. Why is Toucan Sam in Egypt?
How, exactly, do we know this? Is there pop-cultural
Egyptian iconography? Enormous Soviet-built hydroelectric
dams, or faded pan-Arabist graffiti?
To the initiate, the jungle appears out of place,
an oddity, but in fact the jungle is the Center,
the Core which subordinates the, um, the other, uh,
oh crap.
-- A.
Mikal 606
"Andrew Reid" <re...@nwu.edu> wrote in message
news:8F99BC511r...@129.105.16.55...
> le...@seanet.com (Lleah) wrote in <39a3e89d...@news.seanet.com>:
>
> >So Toucan Sam is lost in the ... jungles .. of Egypt. Or something.
> >Judging by the cartoon advertisement, Toucan Sam is lost and
> >frightened and he's visiting a bunch of big and dark tombs. The
> >violent airbrussing on Sam's nose has gotten out of control, btw.
> >SO ANYHOW ... he soon realises that the tombs are filled with MUMMIES!
> >
> I love these surreal disconnects. A toucan with
> an improbably large beak, sure, we can do that.
> Named Sam. Sure. He's an advocate for sugary
> frooty goodness, OK, we can do that too, and he
> has froot colors on his beak, and he can jump and
> fly and spin around and speak English. No problem.
>
> He's in a jungle in Egypt.
>
> HOLD THE PHONE!! ANY FULE NO AIN'T NO JUNGULES
> IN EGYPT, YER LIARS, THAT'S *NOT* *REAL*!!!1!!
>
"One of the unique features of ancient Egyptian civilization was
the bond between the Nile and the Egyptian people and their
institutions. The Nile caused the great productivity of the soil,
for it annually brought a copious deposit of rich silt from the
monsoon-swept tableland of Ethiopia. Each July, the level of the
Nile began to rise, and by the end of August, the flood reached
its full height. At the end of October, the flood began to
recede, leaving behind a fairly uniform deposit of silt as well
as lagoons and streams that became natural reservoirs for fish.
By April, the Nile was at its lowest level. Vegetation started to
diminish, seasonal pools dried out, and game began to move south.
Then in July, the Nile would rise again, and the cycle was
repeated"
gopher://gopher.umsl.edu/00/library/govdocs/armyahbs/aahb7/aah70006
> Oops, sorry, I got all bent out of shape
> even *before* the questions....
>
> >Shall I ask the obvious questions here, just to make sure you're with
> >me?
> >
> >1. Why is Toucan Sam in Egypt?
>
> How, exactly, do we know this? Is there pop-cultural
> Egyptian iconography? Enormous Soviet-built hydroelectric
> dams, or faded pan-Arabist graffiti?
>
> To the initiate, the jungle appears out of place,
> an oddity, but in fact the jungle is the Center,
> the Core which subordinates the, um, the other, uh,
> oh crap.
>
> -- A.
The REAL question is HOW DID THAT TOUCAN TRAVEL BACK IN TIME??????
ALL THIS JUNGLE BUSINESS IS JUST MEANT TO TACK YOUR ATTENTION AWAY FROM THE
TIME TRAVELING STUFF!!!1
Beable van Polasm
> On a totally unrelated note, I have some questions for the Austrians
> among us about their FAKETY FAKE FAKE Kellogggs serials.
>
> 3! Why are your Rice Krispies called Rice Bubbles??
Ummm... dunno. Because we VALUE good SPELLING?
> V! Where are the GREAT AUSTRIAN RICE PADDIES where they get their
> all natural AUSTRIAN GROWN rice from to make Rice Bubbles?
Apparently, rice is grown on this web site:
http://www.sunrice.com.au/time/time_index.html
> 7! Who came up with the BRILLIANT idea to put BEEBARF on their ALL
> NATURAL Rice Bubbles made from ALL NATURAL Austrian grown rice?
You mean Honey Smacks?
> P! Are you AUSTRIANS anti-BEE? On the front of your box of ALL
> NATURAL Rice Bubbles with beebarf there is a picture of an elf
> BRUTALLY HUNTING AND CAPTURING a bee with a BIG NET.
OH YEAH WE HATE BEES!
> ANSWERS WILL BE RECIEVED IN ESSAY FORM. THAT IS ALL.
Also, Coco Pops.
cheers
Beable van Polasm
--
WHAT WOULD WILLIAM SHATNER DO? IQC 78189333
I was really surprised to be asked here tonight to honour Bob Hope.
Surprised isn't the right word... annoyed -- Ronald Reagan
http://members.xoom.com/_______/news/index.html
Carlos May
Lleah (Yay!!) <le...@seanet.com> pondered:
: I'd like to discuss the subject of mummies with all of you.
: Specifically those that can now be found in a breakfast cereal we're
: all familiar with: Kellogg's Froot Loops.
: So Toucan Sam is lost in the ... jungles .. of Egypt. Or something.
: Judging by the cartoon advertisement, Toucan Sam is lost and
: frightened and he's visiting a bunch of big and dark tombs. The
: violent airbrussing on Sam's nose has gotten out of control, btw.
: SO ANYHOW ... he soon realises that the tombs are filled with MUMMIES!
: So he puts them in his breakfast cereal.
: ????
IIRC, powdered mummy is supposed to prevent tooth decay.
And stuff.
Mmmm, Canibalishious!!
And I hear they're reviving "Quisp" cereal, and every
100th box will contain the pickled heart of a French King!
-- F.
* Fro...@neosoft.com ** "The Information Super-Frog" [dibs] *
http://www.angelfire.com/la/carlosmay/
Shiro Akaishi
>> 7! Who came up with the BRILLIANT idea to put BEEBARF on their ALL
>> NATURAL Rice Bubbles made from ALL NATURAL Austrian grown rice?
>
>You mean Honey Smacks?
No, the austrian kellogggs website had a thing about "Golden Hunny Rice
Bubbles" or summin' like that, right after the part where they talk about
having no additives or preservatives and very little sugar in their cereal.
David DeLaney
>3. Do Froot Loops remind people of mummies?
>4. Do mummies remind people of Froot Loops?
"Do cats eat bats?", and once in a while "Do bats eat cats?". For, as she
didn't know the answer, it didn't seem to matter which way she asked the
question...
>5. What giant underground tomb was Sam visiting where they have loose
>mummies stacked against walls?
That's how ancient Egyptians stored their toilet-paper. See, Mr. Whipple
was only fwee yeaws owd back then...
>ANd so ... the happy mummies and the little crunchy fruit rings lived
>happily ever after.
Next: Froot Loops - The Quickening part II!
Dave
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://panacea.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ/ I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
james dolan
someone buying a warehouse and finding a big stash of 13-year old
fruit-flavored mummy-shaped marshmallows.
Joseph Michael Bay
>Lleah <le...@seanet.com> wrote:
>>3. Do Froot Loops remind people of mummies?
>>4. Do mummies remind people of Froot Loops?
>"Do cats eat bats?", and once in a while "Do bats eat cats?". For, as she
>didn't know the answer, it didn't seem to matter which way she asked the
>question...
You feed the bats to the cats, and the cats to the bats.
And we keep the cat skins.
Joseph Michael Bay
>aka...@nospam.unity.unity.edu (Shiro Akaishi) writes:
>> On a totally unrelated note, I have some questions for the Austrians
>> among us about their FAKETY FAKE FAKE Kellogggs serials.
>> 3! Why are your Rice Krispies called Rice Bubbles??
>Ummm... dunno. Because we VALUE good SPELLING?
HAW HAW! Then you would call your capital "Melborne" and not "Melbourne".
E Teflon Piano
}I'd like to discuss the subject of [marshmallow cereal] mummies with all of you.
If I had to live in Seattle, I'd choose to live near Lleha.
--
Institute for Misapplied Psychometry fellow E Teflon Piano is founder of the
Internet 'Lectronic Legal Society. Teflon is a mark owned by duPont. E is E
poly(TFE) Piano Enterprises' [dibs] for ironic hyperbole and elitist satire.
ŠE[dibs] 1994-2000
Dag Right-square-bracket-gren
> at first i thought that kibo was trolling when he said that chex
> cereals are made by general mills because my memory said that chex
> cereals are made by ralston-purina. visits to the general mills and
> ralston-purina websites indicated that kibo was not trolling, and that
> ralston-purina is just about exclusively in the pet food ("beggin'
> strips" and the like) and pet products industry
That reminds me: At the local supermarket, I've found some pet foods
called "Beef sticks" and...
"Cat sticks"
What GENIOUS came up with that? I think there's a third type too, with
some sort of abstract word before the "sticks", but I've forgot what that
was.
Also, what's this you people ramble on about cannibalistic cereals?
MUMMIES ARE PEOPLE! PEOPLE!!!
--
Dag Agren <> d...@c3.cx <> http://www.abo.fi/~dagren/ <> Legalize oregano
"You haven't been teased until Einstein and his elf friends
show up and begin their teasing!" - Peter Willard
Luke Breinig
> 3. Do Froot Loops remind people of mummies?
> 4. Do mummies remind people of Froot Loops?
> mummies stacked against walls?
> mummies who eventually jump into your breakfast cereal?
IIRC, at some point either Count Chocula or Frakenberry Cereal had
marshmallow mummies. I imagine that the current supply of marshmallow
mummies is left over from that venture.
-Luke
Zixia
>Also, Coco Pops.
Mmmm, Coco Pops.
I made the mistake a few weeks back of thinking I was eating too many
Coco Pops, so I bought some Sugar Puffs, believing them to be as tasty
and offering me a change.
I WUZ RONG!!!1!1! The Sugar Puffs didn't turn the milk chocolatey and
they got soggy far quicker than good ol' Coco Pops.
You'll be relieved to learn that this story has a happy ending as I have
bought another packet of Coco Pops and am enjoying them once more. I
shall not make the same mistake again.
--
Zixia - "Not a gurl since 1973"
Bill Newcomb
Dag Right-square-bracket-gren <d...@c3.cx> wrote:
> In article <8o164h$5mn$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, jdo...@math.ucr.edu says...
> > at first i thought that kibo was trolling when he said that chex
> > cereals are made by general mills because my memory said that chex
> > cereals are made by ralston-purina. visits to the general mills and
> > ralston-purina websites indicated that kibo was not trolling, and that
> > ralston-purina is just about exclusively in the pet food ("beggin'
> > strips" and the like) and pet products industry
>
> That reminds me: At the local supermarket, I've found some pet foods
> called "Beef sticks" and...
>
> "Cat sticks"
>
> What GENIOUS came up with that? I think there's a third type too, with
> some sort of abstract word before the "sticks", but I've forgot what that
> was.
The word is "Thai". Order the Krung Thep noodles with "extra-fine
shredded lettuce".
--
nu...@best.com
"On guard until seal is broken" -J. Daniel
"SEAL...has yet to be subject to any published cryptanalysis." -B. Schneier
Brack!
wrote:
HAY D00DS?!! What happened to that brand of novelty ice cream where
they gave you a shovel to eat it with?
The end. NO WAIT! There were also skulls and tombstones buried in the
ice cream! Yay! canniba-defilementi-licious!
Brack! Deploy Spam-Away(tm)!: |"What a good little boy you are,
<root@[127.0.0.1]> | Scotty... I could just pinch that
<MAILER-DAEMON@[127.0.0.1]> | chubby little cheek of yours until
<abuse@[127.0.0.1]> | it turns black and falls off of your
<.@[127.0.0.1]> UNSUBSCRIBE | fucking face, you adorable little boy."
E Teflon Piano
<nu...@best.com> wrote:
}In article <MPG.140f6a228...@magnesium.net>,
}Dag Right-square-bracket-gren <d...@c3.cx> wrote:
}> In article <8o164h$5mn$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, jdo...@math.ucr.edu says...
}> That reminds me: At the local supermarket, I've found some pet foods
}> called "Beef sticks" and...
}>
}> "Cat sticks"
}>
}> What GENIOUS came up with that? I think there's a third type too, with
}> some sort of abstract word before the "sticks", but I've forgot what that
}> was.
}
}The word is "Thai". Order the Krung Thep noodles with "extra-fine
}shredded lettuce".
Hey man, don't bogart the thai-stick.
Gardner S Trask III
E Teflon Piano wrote:
> In article <8o6ng8$96q$1...@nntp1.ba.best.com>, Bill Newcomb
> <nu...@best.com> wrote:
>
> }In article <MPG.140f6a228...@magnesium.net>,
> }Dag Right-square-bracket-gren <d...@c3.cx> wrote:
> }> In article <8o164h$5mn$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, jdo...@math.ucr.edu says...
>
> }> That reminds me: At the local supermarket, I've found some pet foods
> }> called "Beef sticks" and...
> }>
> }> "Cat sticks"
> }>
> }> What GENIOUS came up with that? I think there's a third type too, with
> }> some sort of abstract word before the "sticks", but I've forgot what that
> }> was.
> }
> }The word is "Thai". Order the Krung Thep noodles with "extra-fine
> }shredded lettuce".
>
> Hey man, don't bogart the thai-stick.
>
There is a new restaurant on Route One. It is called "Beau Thai". I am
simultaneously entertained and repulsed.
Gard "It sits below the empty Chines restaurant castle. I wonder what Chinese
cones look like." Trask
Gardner S Trask III
E Teflon Piano wrote:
Gard "It sits below the empty Chinese restaurant castle. I wonder what Chinese
cones look like." Trask
James Kibo Parry
>
> I'd like to discuss the subject of mummies with all of you.
> Specifically those that can now be found in a breakfast cereal we're
> all familiar with: Kellogg's Froot Loops.
I was familiar with it back when it only came in three colors
(pink/orange/yellow), not unlike the original Trix (pink/orange/yellow)
and Fruity Pebbles (pink/orange/yellow) before they discovered that
kids like eating blue dye. (Back then, only Kaboom had blue debris
in it. And Lucky Charms had the original four marshmallows -- pink hearts,
orange stars, yellow moons, green clovers, and no freakin' blue diamonds,
purple horseshoes, or swirly diseased-looking whales.)
> So Toucan Sam is lost in the ... jungles .. of Egypt. Or something.
> Judging by the cartoon advertisement, Toucan Sam is lost and
> frightened and he's visiting a bunch of big and dark tombs. The
> violent airbrushing on Sam's nose has gotten out of control, btw.
Hajime Sorayama at home:
"Kids, don't forget to airbrush your teeth!"
> SO ANYHOW ... he soon realises that the tombs are filled with MUMMIES!
>
> So he puts them in his breakfast cereal.
>
> ????
Well, they wouldn't fit in his crack pipe! DUH!
> Shall I ask the obvious questions here, just to make sure you're with
> me?
>
> 1. Why is Toucan Sam in Egypt?
Who says he's in Egypt? Maybe he found all those mummies in the big
glass pyramid at the Louvre.
> 2. Why mummies?
'cause when they film a low-budget TV commercial they say to themselves
"Hey! We don't have any budget to buy anything to use as a simulation
of a costume! What do we have lying around here... well... there's half
a roll of toilet paper..."
> 3. Do Froot Loops remind people of mummies?
Noo, Froot Loops doo noot remoond moo oof moomies. Hoowever, thooy doo
remoond moo oof Moomenschanz.
(I'm thinking specifically of the bit where these three androgynous
Swiss mimes jam themselves into an old inner tube and then slowly
get soggy in milk.)
> 4. Do mummies remind people of Froot Loops?
Mummies remind me of lots of things. This is why I wear ear plugs
when I need to get some sleep, what with all the mummies telling me
not to forget to wear my galoshes, and not to forget to take off my
galoshes, and not to leave my galoshes at school, and not to wrinkle
the Wonder Bread wrappers that line my galoshes.
(*I* never had to wear bread bags as winter socks when I was a kid,
but there sure were a lot of kids -- I think at least two -- in my
elementary school who did. Even in first grade, I though that was
trés declassé.)
> 5. What giant underground tomb was Sam visiting where they have loose
> mummies stacked against walls?
It was one of those Dungeons & Dragons dungeons where some mad billionaire
says, "Hey! I'm going to build this really elaborate abandoned underground
city and fill it with gold and jewels and stuff and lots of really half-assed
poorly-concealed lethal traps, because otherwise they wouldn't be able to
have a game later! SOMEONE has to build the dungeons that are just left
lying around full of treasure!"
> 6. What giant underground tomb was Sam visiting where they have loose
> mummies who eventually jump into your breakfast cereal?
You've heard of the Well Of Souls? Well, this was the Bowl Of Corpses...
now a tasty treat that's part of this completely Satanic breakfast!
> So forgetting the sheer boggle of misunderstanding that ensued upon
> watching this ad due to the above questions, we will now move on to
> the actual marshmallow "mummies".
>
> They don't look like mummies. Tom and I decided that they sort of
> resemble gym socks.
Never mind how they taste, what do they look like?
> And they're all white, not the usual pastel assortment you're likely
> to see in oversugared cereals.
Apple's new iMacs are going to be in Lucky Charms marshmallow colors.
There will be a tiny shrivelled-up pink one, a tiny shrivelled-up orange one,
and at the bottom of the warehouse, a pile of multicolored dust.
> So what happened? Did the guy who designs the machine that poots out
> marshmallow shapes try and make something actually RELATED to fruit
> and instead came up with white oblong blobs? And then, say, he had
> wasted all the company's time and money, so he had to figure out a way
> to pitch the marshmallow shapes!
>
> DESIGNER: Hey, guys, check this out! I've got a great pitch for
> you!!! Are you ready?
> ....MUMMIES! ...
>
> MONEYBAGS: I'm sorry, did you say "mummies"?
>
> DESIGNER: Yeah! Check out these marshmallow mummies!
>
> MONEYBAGS: Say, these ARE quality mummies! But what do they have to
> do with Froot Loops?
>
> DESIGNER: Doesn't matter! LOOK!!! MUMMIES!!!!
>
> MONEYBAGS: You're right! Let's DO IT!
>
> And so ... the happy mummies and the little crunchy fruit rings lived
> happily ever after.
Please stop plagiarizing Shel Silverstein's pornographic children's book,
"Mr. Skinny Swizzle Stick Meets Miss Froot Loop. PENETRATION ON PAGE SEVEN."
-- K.
This will lead to a
reminiscence about
Yummy Mummy, Fruit Brute,
Count Chocula, Frankenberry,
Booberry, and Hotsie Potsie
cereals, five of which
actually existed.
E Teflon Piano
<ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
}It was one of those Dungeons & Dragons dungeons where some mad billionaire
}says, "Hey! I'm going to build this really elaborate abandoned underground
}city and fill it with gold and jewels and stuff and lots of really half-assed
}poorly-concealed lethal traps, because otherwise they wouldn't be able to
}have a game later! SOMEONE has to build the dungeons that are just left
}lying around full of treasure!"
This obsrvation illustrates an objection to James Bond movies I've had
for years: the Big Set seckrit hideout. Like in _You Only Live Twice_:
this island volcano has been converted into a rocket launching facility
for SPECTRE to steal Russian space ships.
The place is huge: who built it? Is there a seckrit cadre of badguy
construction workers out there? All the cement: this didn't come from
Home Depot, ditto with the custom monorail. You couldn't build anything
larger than a log cabin these days without creating a huge commercial
ripple.
So, even if a nutty rich guy wanted to build an underground Disneyland,
he'd have to build it and maintain it until all the electricians who
wired up the death traps died off; the suppliers of the death trap
components went out of business and people just generally stopped
thinking about all the jobs that went away since the construction
finished. Fifty years, at a minimum. That's a lot of overhead to
maintain a hideout that isn't very hidden and so can't even be used for
its intended purpose.
Joe Manfre
>So, even if a nutty rich guy wanted to build an underground Disneyland,
>he'd have to build it and maintain it until all the electricians who
>wired up the death traps died off; the suppliers of the death trap
>components went out of business and people just generally stopped
>thinking about all the jobs that went away since the construction
>finished. Fifty years, at a minimum. That's a lot of overhead to
>maintain a hideout that isn't very hidden and so can't even be used for
>its intended purpose.
Yeah.
AND WHAT ABOUT ALL THE INDEPENDENT CONTRACTORS WORKING ON
THE UNFINISHED DEATH STAR?? DID THEY JUST ALL DIE WHEN
LANDO BLEW IT UP?
HUH?
DID THEY?
JM
--
Joe Manfre, Hyattsville, Maryland. http://manfre-land.com
"It looks like I may win the election for dumbmeister of the
scientific proof of God by default." -- George Hammond
Karlo Takki
<280820000819549452%e...@The-Institute.firm>:
> The place is huge: who built it? Is there a seckrit cadre of badguy
>construction workers out there? All the cement: this didn't come
>from Home Depot, ditto with the custom monorail. You couldn't build
>anything larger than a log cabin these days without creating a huge
>commercial ripple.
You know those guys? Dark suits, dark ties? Drive around in
black Cadillacs and Town Cars?
They're called contractors.
Then again, if SMERSH hired La Cosa Nostra Construction, Inc. of
New Jersey, why wouldn't they also have Bond's legs broken?
k.
Dann Corbit
news:39ab1a4d...@news.sprint.ca...
> On 29 Aug 2000 00:54:26 GMT, Daniel Buettner <buet...@cse.unl.edu>
> claimed:
>
> >The Avocado Avenger <sta...@io.com.guacamole> wrote:
> >
> >> Best cereal ever: Cocoa Pebbles.
> >
> >Best cereal ever: Cheerios.
>
> Best cereal ever: Corn Bran.
Best cereal ever: Pure "Gold-Medal" Pre-sifted flour (eaten without milk, of
course).
It may not taste all that great, but for the first hour of school, you'll be
able to make *real* paper-mache spit-balls from little wads of paper. Which
brings us right back to the mummies.
--
C-FAQ: http://www.eskimo.com/~scs/C-faq/top.html
"The C-FAQ Book" ISBN 0-201-84519-9
C.A.P. Newsgroup http://www.dejanews.com/~c_a_p
C.A.P. FAQ: ftp://38.168.214.175/pub/Chess%20Analysis%20Project%20FAQ.htm
Mikal 606
"The Avocado Avenger" <sta...@io.com.guacamole> wrote in message
news:o2Gq5.538064$MB.81...@news6.giganews.com...
> Darl...@sprint.spoiler.ca (Darla VladsChyk) writes:
> ><dco...@solutionsiq.com> claimed:
> >>"Darla VladsChyk" <Darl...@sprint.spoiler.ca> wrote:
> >>> Daniel Buettner <buet...@cse.unl.edu> claimed:
> >>> >The Avocado Avenger <sta...@io.com.guacamole> wrote:
> >>> >
> >>> >> Best cereal ever: Cocoa Pebbles.
> >>> >
> >>> >Best cereal ever: Cheerios.
> >>>
> >>> Best cereal ever: Corn Bran.
> >>
>
> >Best cereal ever: Trix.
>
> Look, lady, we've had just about enough of you. Stop listing best
> cereals ever or we'll wrap Mikal 606 up and send him to your
> office... POSTAGE DUE!!!
>
Best cereal ever: Corn Pops.
>
> Stacia * The Avocado Avenger * Life is a tale told by an idiot;
> http://www.io.com/~stacia/ * Full of sound and fury,
> There is no guacamole anywhere. * Signifying nothing.
The Avocado Avenger
>"Lleah" (le...@seanet.com) wrote:
>>
>> I'd like to discuss the subject of mummies with all of you.
>> Specifically those that can now be found in a breakfast cereal we're
>> all familiar with: Kellogg's Froot Loops.
>I was familiar with it back when it only came in three colors
>(pink/orange/yellow),
Yeah! I mean, er, if you're saying the dark magenta Loop is 'pink',
then yeah! You're exactly right!
Basically, by the time I was done eating kiddie cereals, they hadn't
even added green yet. What happens to human DNA to make people go from
eating Sugar Coated Nuclear Marshmallow Chocolate Missile Flakes, to
Poopariffic Fiber Slabs? Whatever it is, it's got me in the middle
stages, where I'm eating Granola with Bark and Raisins -- the raisins make
it less adultish.
>kids like eating blue dye
Probably because they like the color that blue and purple dye turns
their poop. KSU made 'K-State Cereal' for a while, with purple K's and
plain yellowish-white S's and U's, and it sold real well, until the town
of Manhattan had its first bowel movement.
> Count Chocula,
God, I miss Count Chocula. Or I would miss it, if it wasn't in the
grocery store just down the street.
Best cereal ever: Cocoa Pebbles.
Daniel Buettner
> Best cereal ever: Cocoa Pebbles.
Best cereal ever: Cheerios.
--
~
~
~
"Daniel Buettner" line 4 of 4 --100%--
Bill Newcomb
The Avocado Avenger <sta...@io.com.guacamole> wrote:
This is probably my favorite post ever. That probably says bad things
about my psychosexual development (or lack thereof), but so be it.
Darla VladsChyk
claimed:
>The Avocado Avenger <sta...@io.com.guacamole> wrote:
>
>> Best cereal ever: Cocoa Pebbles.
>
>Best cereal ever: Cheerios.
Best cereal ever: Corn Bran.
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching." ---Satchel Paige
Darla VladsChyk
<dco...@solutionsiq.com> claimed:
>"Darla VladsChyk" <Darl...@sprint.spoiler.ca> wrote in message
>news:39ab1a4d...@news.sprint.ca...
>> On 29 Aug 2000 00:54:26 GMT, Daniel Buettner <buet...@cse.unl.edu>
>> claimed:
>>
>> >The Avocado Avenger <sta...@io.com.guacamole> wrote:
>> >
>> >> Best cereal ever: Cocoa Pebbles.
>> >
>> >Best cereal ever: Cheerios.
>>
>> Best cereal ever: Corn Bran.
>
>Best cereal ever: Pure "Gold-Medal" Pre-sifted flour.
Best cereal ever: Trix.
The Avocado Avenger
>>> Daniel Buettner <buet...@cse.unl.edu> claimed:
>>> >The Avocado Avenger <sta...@io.com.guacamole> wrote:
>>> >
>>> >> Best cereal ever: Cocoa Pebbles.
>>> >
>>> >Best cereal ever: Cheerios.
>>>
>>> Best cereal ever: Corn Bran.
>>
>>Best cereal ever: Pure "Gold-Medal" Pre-sifted flour.
>Best cereal ever: Trix.
Look, lady, we've had just about enough of you. Stop listing best
cereals ever or we'll wrap Mikal 606 up and send him to your
office... POSTAGE DUE!!!
Poot Rootbeer
>>>> >> Best cereal ever: Cocoa Pebbles.
>>>> >Best cereal ever: Cheerios.
>>>> Best cereal ever: Corn Bran.
>>>Best cereal ever: Pure "Gold-Medal" Pre-sifted flour.
>>Best cereal ever: Trix.
>
> Look, lady, we've had just about enough of you. Stop listing best
>cereals ever or we'll wrap Mikal 606 up and send him to your
>office... POSTAGE DUE!!!
I think we've overlooken the fact that today we killed the guy who
invented Lucky Charms.
STUNG TO DEATH BY THE HIVEMIND!
-Poot
David DeLaney
>The Avocado Avenger <sta...@io.com.guacamole> wrote:
>
>> Best cereal ever: Cocoa Pebbles.
>
>Best cereal ever: Cheerios.
Best cereal ever: King Vitamin, twenty years ago. (Currently, it tastes like
yellowy cardboard.) For today's cereals, Cocoa Pebbles is up there, but I'd
have yto go with Count Chocula instead, even if it does now contain
marshmallow sharks...
Dave
--
\/David DeLaney d...@panacea.phys.utk.edu "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://panacea.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ/ I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
John L. Cunningham
> I dont know!But write your name in heiroglyphics!
> You cartouche too!
IWPTA "I CARTOUCHE YOU!!!1!"
--
John L. Cunningham
Darla VladsChyk
Avenger) claimed:
>Darl...@sprint.spoiler.ca (Darla VladsChyk) writes:
>><dco...@solutionsiq.com> claimed:
>>>"Darla VladsChyk" <Darl...@sprint.spoiler.ca> wrote:
>>>> Daniel Buettner <buet...@cse.unl.edu> claimed:
>>>> >The Avocado Avenger <sta...@io.com.guacamole> wrote:
>>>> >
>>>> >> Best cereal ever: Cocoa Pebbles.
>>>> >
>>>> >Best cereal ever: Cheerios.
>>>>
>>>> Best cereal ever: Corn Bran.
>>>
>>>Best cereal ever: Pure "Gold-Medal" Pre-sifted flour.
>
>>Best cereal ever: Trix.
>
> Look, lady, we've had just about enough of you. Stop listing best
>cereals ever or we'll wrap Mikal 606 up and send him to your
>office... POSTAGE DUE!!!
I don't have an office anymore.
Best cereal ever: Raisin Bran (Kellogg's, not Post) with banana.