WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH QQ?
James Kibo Parry
(there is a flash of light. BIG J0HN D. LANCEY materializes on the Bridge.)
PICARD: Who the hell are you?
QQ: I M QQ !!!!
PICARD: Get off my bridge!
QQ: TH0U ART N0T N A0L USER S0 TH0U R N0T KQQL !!!1
PICARD: We are very busy here on this bridge. State what you want or get out!
QQ: I M LQQKING 4 LUV !!!!
PICARD: What does a superbeing from AOL know of human feelings such as LUV?
QQ: LUV IZ GQQD !!!!!!1
DATA: Ah! LUV! Sex! Carnal knowledge! NQQKIE! 4 NIKASHEN !!!1
PICARD (whacks both of Mr. Data's ears simultaneously): Thank you, Mr. Data!
QQ: WHAT Y0U"RE R0B0T BUDDEY MENT 2 SAY IZ THAT I HAV THE H0TZ 4 TR0Y !!!!
TROI: Captain, I sense this 'QQ' may have the hots for me.
QQ: I HAV ALL Y0U"RE NEKKID GIFS !!!!!!!1
PICARD: Query, Data--reference 'GIFs'?
DATA: Processing... processing... Ah! GIFs! As in 'NEKKID GIFS'!
An ancient Earth form of representing two-dimensional picture data
in digital form.
WESLEY: Sir, digital communications have been obsolete for--
RIKER: SHUT UP, WESLEY!!!
PICARD: WHO LET THE BOY ON MY BRIDGE? MR. WORF, RESTRAIN WESLEY CRUSHER!!!
WORF: Gladly, Captain.
WESLEY: Wait, sir, let me finish. By 1995, GIFs were no longer used;
they were replaced by PNGs to--
(*CRACK!* WORF breaks WESLEY in half over his knee.)
QQ: N0W I M LQQKING 4 N END 2 THIS LAIM STAR WARZ PARR0DEY !!!1
PICARD: Computer, activate auto-destruct sequence. Password: "Alpha".
COMPUTER: Ten... Nine... Eight... Bleep, whirr, chunk... Seven... Six...
Five... Bzzzt, bleep, ah-oo-ga, WOO WOO! Four... Three... Two...
PICARD: Computer, cancel auto-destruct.
COMPUTER: Auto-destruct has been cancelled.
PICARD: Fooled you! Computer, activate auto-destruct sequence.
Password: "Alpha".
COMPUTER: Ten... Nine... EightSevenSixFiveFourThreeTwoOneZero!
Auto-destruct is now engaging! Prepare for detonation!
Destruct sequence is complete!
(The Enterprise explodes, taking half of AOL with it. QQ rematerializes
in deep space.)
QQ: 0 N0 !!!1 WITH 0UT THE HELP 0F THAT BRIAEY MR> DATTA I CANT THINK
0F A CLEVAR ENDEING 2 THIS WACKY PARREDEY !!!1 N0W I HAV 2 B IN
THIS ZANEY PARRUD0Y 4 EVAR !!!!!!!!!11 BQQ HQQ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111
(As QQ cries, fade to black. Roll credits, misspelling "Majel Barrett".)
-- K.
Jorn Barger
James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
> So while I'm playing with DejaNews, I also want to pose the following
> challenge to you people:
>
> Write an article containing nothing but DejaNews "stopwords" (the words
> which aren't indexed because they're too common.) The completele list
> from the help page:
>
> > 1994 1995 1996 a an and any are as be but can
> > date do for from gmt have i if in is it jan
> > lines may message-id newsgroups nntp-posting-host of on
> > or organization path re references s sender subject
> > t that the there this to uuneo with you
Uuneo and Jan (a luv story)
U: May I date you?
J: Do as any. There are to be lines for it.
U: But if 'sender' have references from a 1996 organization?
J: Can this subject path!
U: That message-id is on newsgroups, in 1994 GMT.
J: Or... 1995. With the re... s... t...
U: ...of an nntp-posting-host?
THE END!!!
soon to be a major motion picture...
Stephen Will Tanner
James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
:
: > 1994 1995 1996 a an and any are as be but can
: > lines may message-id newsgroups nntp-posting-host of on
: > or organization path re references s sender subject
: > t that the there this to uuneo with you
LQQKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG URLS:
I sender this lines to you, Jan. (Is this the path to you?)
May I subject you to a date?
You have be-re-a-s-t are-as!
There-for, I do you if I can.
I can "do" and "re-do" from 1994 to 1996.
I have a be-if-i but-t.
Can you re-s-is-t?
I have references.
-- S. T.
: Also note: 1997 is
: not a stopword.
It is at Madame Usagi's Drive-thru House of Love and Justice!
--
Stephen Tanner (tan...@math.wisc.edu)
James Kibo Parry
[re my challenge to write a story in DejaNews stopese]
tan...@math.wisc.edu (Stephen Will Tanner) wrote:
>
> LQQKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG URLS:
>
> I sender this lines to you, Jan. (Is this the path to you?)
> May I subject you to a date?
> You have be-re-a-s-t are-as!
> There-for, I do you if I can.
> I can "do" and "re-do" from 1994 to 1996.
> I have a be-if-i but-t.
> Can you re-s-is-t?
> I have references.
This is one of those poems where each line is shorter than the last,
making the poem infinitely long, and shaped like a mouse's tail.
Hey! I just called you a pedophile by accident! Sorry.
> Kibo said:
> : Also note: 1997 is not a stopword.
>
> It is at Madame Usagi's Drive-thru House of Love and Justice!
*MY* safeword is "nakedbobhope". Sexual play is *impossible* after hearing it.
jo...@mcs.com (Jorn Barger) wrote:
>
> Uuneo and Jan (a luv story)
>
> U: May I date you?
> J: Do as any. There are to be lines for it.
> U: But if 'sender' have references from a 1996 organization?
> J: Can this subject path!
> U: That message-id is on newsgroups, in 1994 GMT.
> J: Or... 1995. With the re... s... t...
> U: ...of an nntp-posting-host?
>
> THE END!!!
>
> soon to be a major motion picture...
This would be a little better as a movie if you pandered to the
audience and slipped in about 50% non-stopwords, i.e.
"These are the voyages of the UUNEO seaQuest DSV 1994, a vessel
of the United Usenet News Earth Organization. This transmission references
the subject of an underwater path to the center of the Earth, caused
by a mis-fire in our GMT reactor."
-- K.
SEAQQUEST LIVES FOREVER!
James Kibo Parry
Remember the "BIG JOHN LQQKING FOR LOVE" post?
The QQ thing, particularly LQQKING, is all over.
Where did it come from? It seems to be all over Usenet (SO MUCH QQ
IT IS ALL OVER YOU NEWSGROUPS!) and mailing lists.
This is from a DejaNews search, "~s (LQQ*)".
Most of these are from various AOL users on rec.collecting.sport.*
wanting to sell trading cards. Over 90% of them (whether trading cards
or not) are AOL users, so it must be an AOL thing. I assume it started
in some AOL chat room dedicated to sports cards. (Wow! If we could
just work "seaQuest" into that equation, we could come up with the
ANTI-LIFE FORCE!) Anyway, WHY do they say "LQQKING"? Could someone please
go on AOL and ask them WHAT THE FUQQ IS WITH "LQQKING"? AD-THANKS-VQQNCE
Subject: LQQKing for Parent Magazine
Subject: LQQking for Mitsumi "Memory Mate"
Subject: LQQking for a real BLACK stud in VA...
Subject: !!!!!New Expencive Cards For Trade, LQQK!!!!!
Subject: LQQKING FOR PROSPAL
Subject: LQQKING FOR A MILLION$$$ BUSINESS?
Subject: LQQK at this fantastic Opportunity!
Subject: Kyle Petty #44 1/24 scale model kit. Pretty Cool LQQKING.!
Subject: LQQking for- Anheuser-Busch Collectors Guide
Subject: LQQK at This LiSt of cards for TRade
Subject: FS RETIRED BEANIES LQQK
Subject: LQQKing for Bi Couples in 804 VA area
Subject: LQQKING FOR NEW PC STUFF??????
Subject: LQQk-ice blues invincible
Subject: LQQking for SecretWord
Subject: HEY !!! LQQKING FOR GUY HEBERT !!
Subject: You have to lQQk(Great Prices)
Subject: LQQK Odd-Ball Baseball FS
Subject: Re: Xymox (clan of) ... is coming..On Tour .... LQQK....!!!!
Subject: LQQKING FOR SUBMISSIVE FEMALE FOR POSSIBLE LTR.
Subject: Emmitt Field Force BV = $100 and others for trade, LQQK
Subject: It is Boo Time! LQQK! Don't Miss This One or you'll be sorry...........
Subject: LQQKIE HERE! mirrors for sale
Hey, LQQKIE HEAR, it's GANGSTA BIFF!!
>
> Subject: LQQkiN 4 SoMe De La SoUL
> From: daydr...@aol.com (DaYDreeM28)
> Date: 1997/11/03
> Newsgroups: rec.music.hip-hop
>
> i'M BeeN LooKiN 4 tHe sOnG "Ring Ring Ring" oN tHe "De La SouL is Dead" CD. iF
> aNy oF yOu gUyS HaVe ThaT CD i NeeD a WaV oF tHe PaRt ThaT GoeS "HeY hOw ya
> DoiN, SoRRy yOu CaN'T GeT tHrOuGh, wHy DoN'T yOu LeaVe yOuR NaMe & yOuR NuMBeR
> & i'LL GeT BaCk tO yOu. HeY hOw ya DoiN, SoRRy yOu CaN'T GeT ThRoUgh, LeaVe
> yOuR NaMe & yOuR NuMBeR & i'LL GeT BaCk tO yOu." iF aNy oF yOu gUyS CaN MaKe
> ThaT PaRt iNTo a WaV FiLe FoR Me, ThaT wOuLD Be ReaLLy cOoL. i wOuLD ReaLLy
> aPpReCiaTe ThaT. pLeaSe e-MaiL Me BaCk aT DaYDr...@aol.com. tHaNK yOu VeRy
> MuCh = )
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
So while I'm playing with DejaNews, I also want to pose the following
challenge to you people:
Write an article containing nothing but DejaNews "stopwords" (the words
which aren't indexed because they're too common.) The completele list
from the help page:
> 1994 1995 1996 a an and any are as be but can
> date do for from gmt have i if in is it jan
> lines may message-id newsgroups nntp-posting-host of on
> or organization path re references s sender subject
> t that the there this to uuneo with you
(Yes, "uuneo" is on the list. Apparently that's the seaQuest's ISP.)
-- K.
Also note: 1997 is
not a stopword.
There are 2,140,262
"1997"s in DejaNews;
and, oddly, neither
"uuneo" not "uunet"
is actually a stopword!
Tjames Madison
James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
: This is from a DejaNews search, "~s (LQQ*)".
: Most of these are from various AOL users on rec.collecting.sport.*
: wanting to sell trading cards. Over 90% of them (whether trading cards
: or not) are AOL users, so it must be an AOL thing. I assume it started
: in some AOL chat room dedicated to sports cards. (Wow! If we could
: just work "seaQuest" into that equation, we could come up with the
: ANTI-LIFE FORCE!) Anyway, WHY do they say "LQQKING"? Could someone please
: go on AOL and ask them WHAT THE FUQQ IS WITH "LQQKING"? AD-THANKS-VQQNCE
It's EYEBALLS! It's LQQKING at yooooooouuuuuu!
\\
\\
\\
but only when you're over here!
It's GR8! I HEART it! I want to HUG IT AND SQUEEZE IT AND NAME IT JAFFO!
SQUEEEEEZES!@!!!@1
: So while I'm playing with DejaNews, I also want to pose the following
: challenge to you people:
: Write an article containing nothing but DejaNews "stopwords" (the words
: which aren't indexed because they're too common.) The completele list
: from the help page:
: > 1994 1995 1996 a an and any are as be but can
: > date do for from gmt have i if in is it jan
: > lines may message-id newsgroups nntp-posting-host of on
: > or organization path re references s sender subject
: > t that the there this to uuneo with you
How about a real cool alternorock song?
"1994 With You", by Tjames Madison, Rock Poet
I have an organization, I have a message-id
I have a path, but can it do any newsgroups for me?
I may be an nntp-posting-host,
But any lines are there to be.
I have a sender, a subject;
I have an organization, I can do any lines you can.
Can you reference the sender, the subject,
Is there a sender there with you, Jan?
--
RoR-Alucard | http://www.pigdog.org
~worship no false kibos~
Sean T Barrett
in an organization as uuneo as this
this is it, i can do
that is, if i can have it
i may have a path with lines to you
as a sender, i have references
any date with you can do
this may be the subject:
"in it if it is to"!
Tlerll
In article <kibo-15119...@10.0.2.15>,
James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
>
>Write an article containing nothing but DejaNews "stopwords" (the words
>which aren't indexed because they're too common.) The completele list
>from the help page:
>
>> 1994 1995 1996 a an and any are as be but can
>> date do for from gmt have i if in is it jan
>> lines may message-id newsgroups nntp-posting-host of on
>> or organization path re references s sender subject
>> t that the there this to uuneo with you
Can an organization have references to this subject? I may be there if
it is in the message-id. If the lines are there, I am there as of 1996.
May this be a path?
--
Lord Tlerll of the Isle of Tlerll. Beleriand Telecom. Kirk of Tolkienology.
*VENI*VIDI*TROLLI* WEBTV --> WEBTLAME. IT"S FUNNY CUZ THERE SO LAME
-------------------==== Posted via Bozo News ====-----------------------
http://www.bozonews.com/ Troll, Flame, Cascade to Usenet
Karlo Takki
In article <kibo-15119...@10.0.2.15>
ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) writes:
> Remember the "BIG JOHN LQQKING FOR LOVE" post?
With that "LQVE DANCE" thing? Ugh. I'm trying to forget.
> The QQ thing, particularly LQQKING, is all over.
All the more reason to wear a surgical mask and double-latex gloves
when reading news.
> Write an article containing nothing but DejaNews "stopwords" (the words
> which aren't indexed because they're too common.) The completele list
> from the help page:
>
> > 1994 1995 1996 a an and any are as be but can
> > date do for from gmt have i if in is it jan
> > lines may message-id newsgroups nntp-posting-host of on
> > or organization path re references s sender subject
> > t that the there this to uuneo with you
[slow metal Guns 'n' Roses-like power ballad in E min.]
[singer MUST have shirt unbuttoned to waist -- THIS IS IMPORTANT]
Any subject, any date,
I can do this for you.
Any lines, any path,
I can do this for you.
Jan, if I can, if I may,
I can be,
With you.
With you.
[soaring over-compressed guitar solo over piano/strings bed]
And if I, I can be,
Be with you,
Yes I will,
Yes I do,
Be with you.
[sung 8va, near-falsetto, almost screaming]
JAN, IF I CAN, IF I MAY,
I CAN BE,
IN YOU.
IN YOU.
IN YOU.
[guitar solo over chorus outro, repeat and fade]
--
"In spite of everything, I still believe that people are
really good at heart." - Anne Frank
Matt McIrvin
Karlo Takki <kta...@artcrime.com> wrote:
> [slow metal Guns 'n' Roses-like power ballad in E min.]
>
> [singer MUST have shirt unbuttoned to waist -- THIS IS IMPORTANT]
>
> Any subject, any date,
> I can do this for you.
> Any lines, any path,
> I can do this for you.
>
> Jan, if I can, if I may,
> I can be,
> With you.
> With you.
Aw, man, I hate how now these days all songs have to be about love or
something. I miss the Eighties. In the Eighties you *could* have that
kind of song, but you could also sing a song that was about absolutely
nothing at all and made no sense, and nobody would even think that you
were cerebral or quirky or David Byrne, provided that every individual
word in the song was a sufficiently rad-i-kool word.
As evidence I offer the following unrecorded song, which I wrote on the
tour bus while I was the lead singer of "The Fixx," shortly before I
quit and joined "Loverboy" because they had a better dental plan and
more POW-WUH. I now consider this to be the anthem of a generation.
Maestro?
[synthetic throbbing and percussion]
She runs in the shadow of a motorized race
The light of the fire in an enemy's face
The moon flies a shiver of electrical night
There's lace in the leather and it makes it all right
Ohhhh, and you're running
Running on a serious wire
Ohhhh, and you're running
Running through a chalice of fire
There's a shot on the water and a bolt in the heart
Mind over matter is the dangerous part
And the line in the mirror is a sliver of steel
Now she remembers how the innocent feel
Ohhhh, and you're running
Running on a serious wire
Ohhhh, and you're running
Running through a chalice of fire
A laser in the night
We bring it to the fight
Whether we're WRONG OR RIIIIIGGGHT--
[cool noises for about twenty seconds]
Ohhhh, and you're running
Running on a serious wire
Ohhhh, and you're running
Running through a chalice of fire
[repeat and fade out]
--
Font-o-Meter! Proportional Monospaced
^
Physics, humor, Stanislaw Lem reviews: http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/
Roger Douglas
On Mon, 24 Nov 1997 01:30:47 GMT, mmci...@world.std.com (Matt
McIrvin) wrote:
...
>
>She runs in the shadow of a motorized race
This fine lyric by Matthew "Fleetwood" McIrvin begins with a typically
powerful image of urban life in the automobile-oriented cities of
America in the 70s.
>The light of the fire in an enemy's face
Here he vividly portrays the flare of a cigarette lighter as two
strangers drawn together in the night share a joint...
>The moon flies a shiver of electrical night
he goes on to contrast the real but intangible phenomenon of moonlight
with the neon glare of the city...
>There's lace in the leather and it makes it all right
and closes with a daring allusion to female masturbation.
>Ohhhh, and you're running
>Running on a serious wire
>Ohhhh, and you're running
>Running through a chalice of fire
>
The chorus with its insistent repetition repeats the theme of the
frantic pace of urban life, his own sense of pain and persecution, and
the constant stress of life on the road.
>There's a shot on the water and a bolt in the heart
This verse moves into a more intimate exploration of McIrvin's battle
with drug addiction, and the suicide of his girlfriend Nancy Spooge.
>Mind over matter is the dangerous part
>And the line in the mirror is a sliver of steel
A clear reference to the common practice of using a razorblade to set
up a "line" of coke on a smooth surface such as a girl's make-up
mirror.
>Now she remembers how the innocent feel
A particularly poignant commentary on the tragedy of drug abuse.
>Ohhhh, and you're running
>Running on a serious wire
>Ohhhh, and you're running
>Running through a chalice of fire
>
>A laser in the night
In this final, angry coda, McIrvin uses the imagery of the rock
performance: the glossy over-production that ultimately betrayed the
band to the forces of commercialism.
>We bring it to the fight
>Whether we're WRONG OR RIIIIIGGGHT--
Yet he remains defiant to the end, echoing Neil Young's "better to
burn out than to fade away".
>[cool noises for about twenty seconds]
>
>Ohhhh, and you're running
>Running on a serious wire
>Ohhhh, and you're running
>Running through a chalice of fire
>
>[repeat and fade out]
>
Sadly McIrvin has been a virtual recluse since he suddenly dropped out
of the music scene in the middle of a concert tour in 1978.
A brief appearance in a charity show with Eric Clapton in 1989 was
thought by some to herald a comeback, but he returned to his life of
obscurity and has been variously reported as a barman in Boston, a
laboratory technician in Cambridge, Massachusetts and a crewman on a
sailing ship in Perth, Austria.
We still miss him.
--R.
Nick S Bensema
In article <19971123192...@ppp0a031.std.com>,
>Whether we're WRONG OR RIIIIIGGGHT--
>
>
>Ohhhh, and you're running
>Running on a serious wire
>Ohhhh, and you're running
>Running through a chalice of fire
I have a dream of the greatest troll ever, where some record company
executive becomes utterly convinced that this song used to be a huge hit
and includes it on one of those 80's compilation albums you always see
at Best Buy in the $5 tapes section.
--
Nick Bensema <ni...@primenet.com> 98-KUPD Red Card #710563 UIN: 2135445
~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Prepare ship for ludicruos speed!
http://www.climatefacts.org/ - Everyone but the bad boys have to behave.