Mitchell Hlman <
nomailverizon.net> wrote:
>Tracey12 <
tracey...@gmail.com> wrote
>
>> Isn't it kind of funny how the left is so critical of Churches and
>> Religion, but puts total faith in the State?
> Why do conservatives claim to both love America
>AND want to see it broken up?
20 Ways to Tell if you're a Democrat
1) You believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of funding.
2) You have to be against capital punishment but for abortion on
demand - In short: you support protecting the guilty and killing the
innocent.
3) You have to believe that the same overpaid public school idiot who
can't teach 4th graders how to read is qualified to teach those same
kids about sex.
4) You have to believe that trial lawyers are selfless heroes and
doctors are overpaid.
5) You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans
are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of the Koreans.
6) You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical, documented changes in the brilliance of the Sun, and more
affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
7) You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being gay
is natural.
8) You have to believe that businesses create oppression and
governments create prosperity.
9) You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature but
pasty-faced activists who've never been outside Seattle do.
10) You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.
11) You have to believe there was no art before federal funding.
12) You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start
wars.
13) You have to believe the free market that gives us 500+ channels
can't deliver the programming quality PBS does.
14) You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it stands up for
certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because
they stand up for certain parts of the Constitution.
15) You have to believe that taxes are too low but ATM fees are too
high.
16) You have to believe that Harriet Tubman, Cesar Chavez and Gloria
Steinman are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson,
General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Alva Edison.
17) You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides aren't.
18) You have to believe that second-hand smoke is more dangerous than
HIV.
19) You have to believe that conservatives are racists but black
people couldn't make it without your help.
20) You have to believe that the only reason democratic socialism
hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people
haven't been in charge.
Things you have to believe to be a Democrat today:
Drug addiction is a disease that should be treated with compassion and
understanding...unless the addict is a Conservative talk show host.
The United States should be subservient to the United Nations. Our
highest authority is not God and the U.S. Constitution, but a
collective of tinpot dictators (and their appeasers) and the U.N.
charter.
Government should relax drug laws regardless of the potential for
abuse, but should pass new and unConstitutional anti-gun laws because
of the potential for abuse.
Calls for increased security after a terrorist attack are "political
opportunism," but calls for more gun control after a criminal's spree
killing is "a logical solution."
"It Takes a Village" means everything you want it to mean...except
creeping socialist government involvement in the nuclear family.
Disarming innocent, law-abiding citizens helps protect them from evil,
lawless terrorists and other thugs.
Slowly killing an unborn innocent by tearing it apart limb from limb
is good. Slowly killing an innocent disabled woman by starving her to
death is good. Quickly killing terrorists, convicted murderers and
rapists is BAD.
Every religion should be respected and promoted in public schools the
name of diversity, so long as that religion isn't Christianity.
The best way to support our troops is to criticize their every move.
This will let them know they're thought of often.
Sexual harassment, groping and drug use are degenerate if you're the
governor of California, but it's okay if you're the President of the
United States.
Sex education should be required so that teens can make informed
choices about sex, but gun education should be banned because it will
turn those same teens into maniacal mass-murderers.
Minorities are blameless for the hatred of the racist; women are
blameless for the hatred of the rapist; but America is entirely at
fault for the hatred of Islamofascists.
Poverty is the cause of all terrorism...which is why the leaders of al
Qaeda are typically U.S.-educated and were raised in wealth and
luxury.
The Patriot Act is a horrific compromise of Constitutional rights, but
anti-Second Amendment laws and Franklin Roosevelt's Presidential Order
9066 must be regarded "reasonable precautions."
We should unquestioningly honor the wishes of our age-old allies, even
when said allies no longer act like our allies and have vested
economic interests in propping up our enemies.
Socialized medicine is the ideal. Nevermind all those people who spend
every dime they have to get to the United States so they can get
quality medical care...that their nation's socialized medical
community can't provide.
Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky and Natalie Maines are perfectly qualified
to criticize our leadership, but Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charlton
Heston, and Dennis Miller are just ignorant political hacks.
John Lott's research on how gun ownership reduces crime is junk
science, but Michael Bellesiles is still an authority on why gun
control is good (even though he was forced to resign from Emory due to
research misconduct over his book "Arming America").
Bush's toppling the Saddam regime was a "diversion," but Clinton's
lobbing a couple of cruise missiles at Iraq in the thick of the
Lewinsky sex scandal was "sending a message."
A president who lies under oath is okay, but a president who
references sixteen words from an allies' intelligence report should be
dragged through the streets naked.
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
Constitution, which include banning Second Amendment rights and
shopping the courts for judges sympathetic to causes that wouldn't
pass in any legislature.
"The People" in the First Amendment means The People; "the People" in
the Fourth Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Ninth
Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Tenth Amendment means
The People; but "the People" in the Second Amendment (ratified in
1791) means the National Guard (created by an Act of Congress in
1903).
You support a woman's "right to choose" to kill her unborn child, but
don't believe that same woman is competent enough to homeschool the
children she bears.
Proven draft-dodging is irrelevant, but baseless claims of AWOL status
is crucial to national security.
Threatening to boycott Dr. Laura's and Rush Limbaugh's advertisers is
exercising Freedom of Speech, but threatening to boycott CBS's "The
Reagans" and Liberal actors over their asinine anti-American remarks
is censorship and McCarthyist blacklisting.
1. "The People" in the First Amendment means The People; "the
People" in the Fourth Amendment means The People; "the People" in the
Ninth Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Tenth Amendment
means The People; but "the People" in the Second Amendment (ratified
in 1791) means the National Guard (created by an Act of Congress in
1903).
2. You support a woman's "right to choose" to kill her unborn
child, but don't believe that same woman is competent enough to
homeschool the children she bears.
3. Proven draft-dodging is irrelevant, but baseless claims of
AWOL status is crucial to national security.
4. You fervently believe that rabidly referring to your political
opponent as an "idiot" is a good idea...even after that "idiot"
whipped your ass in the 2000 and 2004 elections.
5. Everyone must unquestioningly support a junior senator with
negligible political experience for president. 'Cause, like, if you
don't, well...dude, you're a racist!
6. All cultures must be treated as equal. This is why we have to
make excuses for Muslims when they riot, rape and slaughter, but
vilify Christians when they organize letter writing campaigns.
7. America can only be great if it raises taxes, punishes the
successful, rewards the lazy, creates bigger government, and funds
more socialist programs. It worked for the Soviet Union, right?
8. Being against illegal immigration is racist. Nevermind that
illegal isn't a race.
9. Global warming is caused by humans burning fossil fuels, which
is why the Ice Age ended a mere 10,000 years before the invention of
the internal combustion engine.
10. Everyone has the right to disagree, but only with Republicans.
11. The only way to be a "real American" is to hate everything
America stands for.
12. The only unbiased media is the European media, but only
because they hate the United States of America even more than the
liberal media in the U.S.
13. Congress must create a "Fairness Doctrine" to counter the
commercial success of conservative talk radio and the resounding
failure of Air America. (Nevermind that we already have a
government-subsidized liberal mouthpiece called National Public
Radio.)
14. Any Republican who sides with Democrats should be instantly
assigned the role of "leading Republican" in all media reports. This
position is immediately forfeited the moment said Republican starts
acting like an American again.
15. The pseudoscience of "global warming" must be unquestioningly
accepted because a consensus of scientists say it's real. Nevermind
that there was also once a consensus among scientists that the Earth
was flat, the Sun revolved around the Earth, and that caucasians were
genetically superior to all other races.