(snip)
> Steven wrote:
> I have always told her, and I will tell you, the help she need is very
> simple. It is called "love".
Life is not some Beatles song...
"All you need is love...dum, de, dum, de, dum....
Love is all you need...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."
>If she would just open her heart to it, she
> would heal.
...and therein lays the crux: *YOU* think
that *all she needs* to do is open up *her* heart.
It's not like she's got this "on" and "off" switch that
she can click at will. If she could so easily
switch on love, do you really think she'd
be in such a mess as she is in currently?
You can't just tell her to turn it on. She
has to want to. She's not there yet.
>Steven wrote:
> The one thing she seem to be in denial about is
>the fact that she is killing herself.
Maybe, maybe not. She may be aware, but
doesn't care because she may not believe
she has something to live for. Can you think
of some reasons as to why she should live?
Have you talked with her about this? Should
she live simply because *you* say so? Because
*you* want her to? Maybe she thinks she has
nothing and no reason for going on living.
The vodka gives her an escape. She can
escape from the reality around her. So,
why does she want to escape? Have you
asked her this question?
(snip)
>Steven wrote:
> People can help others.
Sure, but the thing is: Does the
other person want the help?
*We* may think she needs help.
But, does *she* want the help?
>My biggest problem with her is that I
>have gotten too close. I can't stand back
>and > let her go when I need to. I need her.
>I am addicted to her like she is addicted to
>vodka.
So, it's all about you, isn't it? The thing is,
Steven, that *she* chose vodka over you.
The vodka is her fix, not you!
> Damn! I miss that girl!
She's got something you want. But, you
have nothing she wants. The vodka is more
important to her than you. The challenge for
you is to try to convince her that you are
better than vodka.
From what I'm gathering, there is no reciprocal
addiction, ie. being addicted to each other. You're
addicted to her, and she's addicted to vodka.
What sort of relationship can you expect to
grow from that?
...plenty of other fish in the ocean. You could
always let her know that should she ever chose
you over vodka, you'll be waiting for her. But,
while you're doing that, keep an eye out for
a gal where the addiction is mutual...a shared
experience.
I hope I didn't come across as too callous.
I just get really angry when I see alcoholism
robbing people of their lives, and their happiness.
Odin teaches *moderation.* It's o.k. to get
the ocassional buzz, but don't end up addicted
to that crap! Sigh...
Anyway, Steven, you need to keep your wits
about you. Stay sober, excercise and eat
nutritious meals, even if you have to cook them
yourself. You've got family, friends, nieces
and nephews. They all need their Uncle Steve
around. You have lots to live for.
Maybe you can convince your girl to find something
worth living for aside from that vodka. Maybe a
transation of some sort could occur...weaning off
the vodka and finding a worthwhile life activity to
replace it.
I dunno...you know more about her than I.
You've probably tried all the trick out there.
<sigh>
Heidi
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