Willpower and Determination

[Steve O]

I have often heard it said that in order to quit smoking you will need
to use willpower and determination.
I have to disagree with this, because despite appearances, they are two
complete opposites.
Using willpower means that you will force yourself NOT to do something,
despite WANTING to.
Determination means forcing yourself to DO something that you WANT.
It's the exact opposite.
This is why willpower usually fails.
The more you force yourself to not do something, the more you think
about it, and the more you think about it, the more you want to do it,
and the more you want to do it, the more you have to force yourself not
to do it or think about it.
It's a looped, self-defeating system.
Determination means deciding what you want to do, and doing what you
need to achieve that goal.
Unlike willpower, it focuses on the positive rather than the negative.
For example, you may want to go on holiday.
Would you say you need willpower to do that?
Of course not, all you need to do is three simple things.
You need to save money, book a flight, and get on the plane.
If you do all of those things, you will get your holiday.
Leave one step out, and you don't- it's that simple.
No willpower is required at all.
All you need is the determination to save the money.
Same goes for losing weight -there are only two steps you need to take.
Control your diet and exercise more.
That is simply all that is required.
Like quitting smoking, it's a no-brainer.
If you fail to do either of those things, you will not lose weight.
If you do both, weight loss is guaranteed.
The actual steps to quitting nicotine are even simpler- there's only
one step.
Don't ever use nicotine in any form at all.
That's it- that is all that you need to do.
(It helps if you can learn what craving is, and how to avoid or
eliminate craving too, but that takes a bit longer)
You have already decided that you wish to become a non-smoker- use your
determination, not willpower and you will achieve that goal if you
follow and stick to that one simple instruction.(I can guarantee that)
So if it is that easy, why do so many people fail, either at quitting
nicotine, or losing weight?
Two reasons
Number one- Because they do not do what they need to do to stop.
Number two- Because they start to feel stressed or uncomfortable in the
absence of the thing they desire.
Dealing with reason number one is easy- no one is forcing you to put
nicotine into your system except yourself.
In fact, when it comes to quitting, unlike losing weight or going on
holiday, you don't actually need to do anything!
Dealing with reason number two is almost as easy, but not in the mind of
the person trying to use willpower.
What does it matter if you feel uncomfortable, restless, agitated or
stressed for a week or two?
Using willpower to try to force yourself not to think about it will only
make it worse.
Either way, isn't freeing yourself from nicotine worth that temporary
inconvenience?
I'm sure you will have suffered with a severe bout of flu for that long
without too much trouble.
So why aren't people able to undergo that small, temporary sacrifice
when the rewards are so great?
One simple answer- because they think or imagine that it will never end...
Of course, all successful former smokers know that this is simply
untrue, and you will know that for a fact yourself if you use your
determination, not willpower, identify your goal, and carry out the
steps required to achieve that goal.
But the fear of quitting, and its temporary effects causes them to fail
Fortunately, in this case, there is nothing to fear except smoking.
When your fear of smoking is greater than your fear of quitting, you
will find it much easier to quit.
And there is far more reason to fear smoking than there is to fear quitting.
Don't allow yourself to flounder in the confusion of the willpower
method - many other smokers have gone down that path before you and have
failed.
Also, don't confuse yourself into thinking that continuing to use
nicotine is going to cure your nicotine problem- it will only serve to
increase it.
Most people make the fatal mistake of thinking that a piece of gum or a
nicotine patch is going to strengthen their willpower and help them to
quit, when it actually works in the opposite way, undermining their quit
each and every time they replace lost nicotine.
They are doing exactly the same thing they were doing with cigarettes,
in another form, and it is a fatal mistake.
Sure, there are those who have managed to quit despite using nicotine
and others who have quit by using the willpower method- I admire their
resolve- but very often you will find that they spend years either
frequently or occasionally craving tobacco, and feeling as if they are
depriving themselves of a pleasure or crutch, which is frankly no way to
live at all.
Accept that you have made a decision to become a happy and contented non
smoker, understand that you have decided to rid yourself of a fatal
disease, use determination, not willpower, follow that simple, single
instruction (do not use nicotine in any form) relax, expect setbacks and
some temporary inconvenience with agitation or restlessness, and never,
ever question your decision- you have made the right one.
You are not deficient in any way, you are perfectly capable of doing
this as anyone else.
All that has happened is that the process of withdrawal and addiction
has led you to believe otherwise.
This is the smoking con- tobacco neither supports you or helps you- it
destroys you.
You already knew that when you decided to quit
If you do suffer severe effects,(and there is really no reason why you
should)- examine exactly what those effects are, and decide if they are
as serious as you imagine.
You might be surprised, it is mostly in the mind, and unless you have
mental health problems, you are in control of your own mind, right?
Ride it out no matter what.
It will pass.
Then reap the benefits, and be happy for the rest of your life with the
decision you made.
You will miss nothing except ill-health and misery.