a portrait of an artist on alt.rap
spinsane
our lyrics are ridiculous in large doses//
lightning strikes once a month at most kid, jarring alive corpses
of bizarre, pickled, rapping humoculouses//
our patchwork status leaves dripping dicks spitting in fits
on chicks' backs, asses and matresses//
fit our words into your mouth and swish, like free drinks at
casinos to wash down inhibitions and clear your can of all its
pringles chips//
because in the commercial world we won't stack our green-backs like
yertle the turtle//
emerge so fertile, with our fucking burl styles//
even if we're blunted and grunting, we hurdle over Tracks and
run free through verbal mind-Fields//
we rhyme - beg and steal from the blind who we're behind like
times on hiphop's city wide check cashing line//
but all your girls and guys, this is meant for you to eye then feel//
stand tall like you're sporting plats' or high-heels//
we believe what we're trying to say easily overshadows acapellos//
because we've only got imagination, consonants and punctuation
to sculpt our statutes//
while we can write this and Vowel that everything we write is incredibly
phat//
its not enough if all these cats are blazed off sacks and laying back//
whats worse than that is that this newsgroup is not a heavily hit
internet target//
but still don't relax when you plant seeds to Squash the Turnips
of lazy readers//
who cling to the bottom of tide-pools like lunar feeders//
bubbles burst from lips while they're howling at the moon//
saying "god-damn, the sun's out - its noon and i'm still freezing"//
no need to measure the temperature, I guarantee every line
spit here is a heater//
from vadik, redeem, yo b, to sordswinga//
spinsane, the cheener//
ssjba, kaz, and that dude doctor oc//
my boy Inc who represents E.R.S. on the block//
Suspect the reign of terror's about to end because Big Mike's
been coming hot//
toting the lyrical glock fool//
and for all the other multitudes of dudes who I forgot to cue//
we need procedures to cling to as we run rings around saturn and shit//
expound on sound theaters to rhyme over like flushed toilets//
because steam showers in silence is still considered golden//
get it? golden showers?//
movie theaters? toilets?//
silence is golden?//
You couldn't catch this shit if your first name was Holden//
Caulfield, I've got a huge fuckin' spiel but no whip-appeal or
record deal//
in this alt dot rap presentation those who wield control of time
and space are faceless//
hopeless to feel the glow for breath control//
flows felt, only through spacing//
creating our own standard of comparison that means nothing to
real life heads//
who wear gems and buy CDs we passed over at the local budget bin//
we tote invisible mic cords and try to cipher, typing on keyboards//
formed our own society that numbers mostly spammers
and retards//
and at least, 8 or 9 alt-rap MCs//
who might read me if I design this rhyme to speak through quiet
storms in the eve'//
left myself much worse than R and B stations at 3 in the morning//
without beats and delivery the best verse on here is yawning//
alarming me when I write this//
thinking that its ludicrous I might just - stop like Ssjba wants to//
or Rae Carruth did//
but he came back into the folds of uselessness to fuel-this-shit//
i say we gather-our-hits and do a rhyming pool//
collect money and hold that shit down with our bottoms of our shoes//
fuck throwin' dice on it like Ice Cube//
on Amerikkka's Most - you can Bet I want to choke a microphone//
and a nice computer, to make beats for you to download//
and display on your screen in peace//
to the sublime peanut gallery representing in this
alley of the internet//
we'd be a super-group sort of like the Firm if we formed in
our own interest//
fuck voltron because our styles don't need a head or arms//
we ahead, but I'm distressed that what I'm spitting is formless//
like mist when I bless the group with incredible cleverness//
indelible letters sent through email with lyrics and a
tracklist//
still i'm not lying when I say all 6 of you don't get this//
but its all gravy baby, I love you all.. maybe//
its just a forum and place of expression, compare that to Ebay//
i'll wait for replies, sadly I feel yall will have little to
say//
remember, we all in the same gang like KRS and Easy//
--- wH0?
_ __ ___ __ ___ ___ ________________________________
_.`--. | . /..`--.\ . /.|- ._ |
\| | |'| || | \ | || |/ s P I N S A N e |
| -|---'|| || |--\| || | _|
| | || || | \ || | ------------------------------\
'---' | '---' '---' www.j00tel.net/~spinsane
Dave Paget
differently!
spinsane wrote:
Ssjba
peace
Keeps
--
*******Keeps*******
Beat it up yer alley!!
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Paul Nijmeijer
news:Pine.GSO.4.21.001207...@nova.acomp.usf.edu...
> a portrait of an artist on alt.rap (ulysses remix by DJ J-Joyce)
I'd guess a 6.5/10...I've seen better rhymes by you...
Vadik
--
"Vadik will dispose chess foes, when he blows with fianchetto"
-- Spinsane
"Vadik is to chess, what Manson is to death"
-- Redeem
spinsane
> news:Pine.GSO.4.21.001207...@nova.acomp.usf.edu...
> > a portrait of an artist on alt.rap (ulysses remix by DJ J-Joyce)
>
> I'd guess a 6.5/10...I've seen better rhymes by you...
word. i like this new rating system. its going to make it a lot easier for
me to respond more to peoples' stuff... dunno why, i just like tangible
ratings the best :)
drop some more stuff vadik!
>
> Vadik
> --
>
> "Vadik will dispose chess foes, when he blows with fianchetto"
> -- Spinsane
>
> "Vadik is to chess, what Manson is to death"
> -- Redeem
>
>
>
--- wH0?
Paul Nijmeijer
news:Pine.GSO.4.21.001207...@nova.acomp.usf.edu...
> > "spinsane" <wcre...@helios.acomp.usf.edu> schreef in bericht
> > news:Pine.GSO.4.21.001207...@nova.acomp.usf.edu...
> > > a portrait of an artist on alt.rap (ulysses remix by DJ J-Joyce)
> >
> > I'd guess a 6.5/10...I've seen better rhymes by you...
>
> word. i like this new rating system. its going to make it a lot easier for
> me to respond more to peoples' stuff... dunno why, i just like tangible
> ratings the best :)
>
> drop some more stuff vadik!
You're right...I oughta write more.
spinsane
Adrunk
would probably work better actually delivered on the mic, instead of written
down.
JL
Dave Paget
extreme case.
the next two lines were not as extreme, but still so.... i'll admit i
didn't finnish it,
but i got a lot further than you credit.
Dave Paget
spinsane wrote:
> > "spinsane" <wcre...@helios.acomp.usf.edu> schreef in bericht
> > news:Pine.GSO.4.21.001207...@nova.acomp.usf.edu...
> > > a portrait of an artist on alt.rap (ulysses remix by DJ J-Joyce)
> >
> > I'd guess a 6.5/10...I've seen better rhymes by you...
>
> word. i like this new rating system. its going to make it a lot easier for
> me to respond more to peoples' stuff... dunno why, i just like tangible
> ratings the best :)
>
> drop some more stuff vadik!
> >
> > Vadik
> > --
> >
> > "Vadik will dispose chess foes, when he blows with fianchetto"
> > -- Spinsane
> >
> > "Vadik is to chess, what Manson is to death"
> > -- Redeem
> >
> >
> >
>
Paul Nijmeijer
news:3A310698...@sunderland.ac.uk...
> 2.7 / 30
>
that 0.9/10...that's silly
don't be so harsh...he don't got that much rhymes made
spinsane
spinsane
heres the first 4 lines
our lyrics are ridiculous in large doses//
-- lyrics, ridiculous and doses all share rhyme elements.
lightning strikes once a month at most kid, jarring alive corpses
of bizarre, pickled, rapping humoculouses//
-- doses rhymes with most, corpses and humoculouses (i think, i know i
*spelled* it wrong). jarring shares rhyme elements with bizarre.
our patchwork status leaves dripping dicks spitting in fits
on chicks' backs, asses and matresses//
-- status shares rhyme elements with
humoculouses. dripping/spitting/chicks share elements... dicks/fits
rhymes... backs/asses/matresses all share elements.
fit our words into your mouth and swish, like free drinks at
casinos to wash down inhibitions and clear your can of all its
pringles chips//
-- fit/swish/inhibitions/chips all rhyme. this was the least complex rhyme
though.
Droctane22
peace..
A to the L
> you can eat a dick... this ain't your countries music anyway :P
well aint that nice....you related to DJ Muggs? (UK joke)
PEACH
A to the L
Paul Nijmeijer
news:90vme0$40e$2...@uranium.btinternet.com...
>
> > you can eat a dick... this ain't your countries music anyway :P
>
> well aint that nice....you related to DJ Muggs? (UK joke)
>
If it's a UK joke, why do I understand it?
(HHC magazine...)
spinsane
--- wH0?
Dave Paget
very different...
Dave Paget
very different...
Dave Paget
anyone who rhymes 'dose' with 'corpse'
must either be saying 'doors' for 'dose'
or 'copse' for 'corpse'
no accent excuses that...
and to think they took Vanilla Ice to task for rhyming 'fakin' and 'bacon'
spinsane
corpse, but I forgot the exact terminology. it just means I'm
extra-advanced with rhyme schemes.
getting self-deprecatingly UK on my humor for you.
--- wH0?
Pizon
>corpse, but I forgot the exact terminology.
Assonance?
Get at me,
Pizon
--
"Don't act like a fan -- you wanna get signed?
Get the whitest A&R you can find
Pull him aside and rap as wack as you can" - Eminem
<A href="http://www.Soundom.com/cgi-bin/affiliate.cgi?id=Rockshade">Get paid to
listen to music!</A>
Dave Paget
make it
fit the other. Rhyme schemes wise, extra advance... maybe, but not from that
example..
Keeps
rhyming...but that dose/corpse thing sounds wack. What good is your
"poetic term for words that share elements of rhyme" if nobody but you
gets it....Most of your rhyme was good but I really feel the need to
point out that there is quite a difference between rap and poetry...or
more specifically ryhmes that sound good and poems that sound
good...there is no less skill to either of them but they are very
different things! Therefore your term, could you remember it, would be
redundant in this instnce...am I making sense? :)
Peace
--
*******Keeps*******
spinsane
(from allwords.com)
assonance:
Resemblace of sound, especially of the vowel sounds in words,
as in: "that dolphin-torn, that gong-tormenter sea" (William
Butler Yeats)
(cut)
william butler yeats kept it hot!
--- wH0?
spinsane
pronounciation. Does/Coes. Its the "rpse" that aids the slur to it (from
the "R"), and the pse that makes it "sharper" word than Dose is, but its
still assonance. (thanks pizon)
ask kayal in RMHH :)
spinsane
> "poetic term for words that share elements of rhyme" if nobody but you
> gets it....Most of your rhyme was good but I really feel the need to
i'm sure a lot of people would get it. how many albums did Acey sell? How
many of you listen to Anticon? Who here likes El-P. i'm not trying to
make a big deal out of it, but to me those obtuse, hidden elements in
lyrics are some of the most important reasons for writting rhymes. along
with dope flow, clever punchlines, and conveying deep emotions, I think
the poetical aspect of hip hop is very important to the art. To me, its
extra-important, so I do a lot of it.
thing is paget is saying my rhyme sucked because it doesn't conform to
more *common* standards of simple rhyming, whether it be poly or
monosylabic.
go after the flow of the joint at least... i wrote that thing in one
sitting, and there are inconsistencies in flow and structure you could
drive a fucking truck through, so why attack "gray areas" such as the use
of assonance instead of concrete rhyming?
> point out that there is quite a difference between rap and poetry...or
> more specifically ryhmes that sound good and poems that sound
> good...there is no less skill to either of them but they are very
> different things! Therefore your term, could you remember it, would be
> redundant in this instnce...am I making sense? :)
>
first, i haven't re-read my verse since all this started, plus I wrote it
so I'm biased and can't really look at it impartially.
but point is, yeah I think assonance should be used MORE in hiphop. it
allready is used a lot I'm sure I just don't have any lines off-hand to
quote. if my line of "doses" and "corpses" came off so wack, it was more
likely because I didn't set the flow up right to work with that assonance
correctly. either that, or you'd have to hear it spit, in which case I
could bend the pronounciating of either word and make it fit anyway. such
is the power of spoken lyrics over written lyrics.
but to me, poetical terms shouldn't just be limited to "classical" poetry
and left out of use in hiphop. whats the point in that?
for an extended metaphor, you guys are saying that hiphop would be
equivalent to the "science" of using a divining-rod to find oil. "leave
the scientific out of this! its divining, we don't need anything
else!". poetry in this case would be the scientific search for oil using
soil samples, and whatever other forms of valid science they have that
makes it that much better. i'm no oil tycoon so bear with me.
for whatever reason, both hiphop and poetry are too ephemeral to stick
rules too. "assonance" is not a rule of either, it is a "device", meaning
it is a random term given to certain forms of lyrical writting that have
cropped up over the years. like it or not, even if every single person in
alt.rap (except Pizon obviously :) doesn't know what the word
"assonance" means, its still going to show up in rhymes. Its an element
of language.
so diss my line because it was wack, not because it displayed poetic
complexity.
> Peace
>
> --
> *******Keeps*******
>
>
> Sent via Deja.com
> http://www.deja.com/
>
--- wH0?
Dave Paget
I bought one.....
> How many of you listen to Anticon?
I do.
> Who here likes El-P.
I do.
> i'm not trying to make a big deal out of it, but to me those obtuse, hidden
> elements in
> lyrics are some of the most important reasons for writting rhymes. along
> with dope flow, clever punchlines, and conveying deep emotions, I think
> the poetical aspect of hip hop is very important to the art. To me, its
> extra-important, so I do a lot of it.
It is, if it comes off, if it works.... You wrote lyrics, and told us it was a
rhyme.
Then you defended it when i said the first two lines didn't rhyme, saying how
they had rhyming elements, which they didn't. If you simply said, the first
two
lines are a poetic inroduction, that would have been cool. The fact that
visually
the two words look similar, and have the quality that if someone put them in
lyrics, they would be accused of 'trying to rhyme two words that don't rhyme,
but maybe you thought the accent would disguise it.......
> thing is paget is saying my rhyme sucked because it doesn't conform to
> more *common* standards of simple rhyming, whether it be poly or
> monosylabic.
No, I was saying that the rhymes sucked, because the opening line didn't
rhyme.
If you want to call them rhymes, and you type them out, and don't mention that
that line wasn't supposed to be rhyming, and then use words that look like
someone could try to rhyme them when it is not possible, then your going to
get
pulled on it.
> go after the flow of the joint at least... i wrote that thing in one
> sitting, and there are inconsistencies in flow and structure you could
> drive a fucking truck through, so why attack "gray areas" such as the use
> of assonance instead of concrete rhyming?
I attacked the Assonance, sure..... But, you called it a rhyme, not an
excersize
in the use of Assonance. If you had a complete rhyme pattern you would have
used
the Assonance, and rhymed, as it stands the first two lines were Assonance and
not
a rhyme.
> but point is, yeah I think assonance should be used MORE in hiphop. it
> allready is used a lot I'm sure I just don't have any lines off-hand to
> quote.
Sure, it could well be, but we only started talking about Assonance half way
through.
> if my line of "doses" and "corpses" came off so wack, it was more
> likely because I didn't set the flow up right to work with that assonance
> correctly.
Or it could be that you called it a rhyme, and it didn't.......
> either that, or you'd have to hear it spit, in which case I
> could bend the pronounciating of either word and make it fit anyway. such
> is the power of spoken lyrics over written lyrics.
BEND THE PRONUNCIATION......!!!!!!!!!!!! that was my point in the first place.
Your not talking about Assonance... DOSE and CORPSE do not rhyme as spoken.
You have to bend the word and use accent to cloud it...... that's what i said.
That the words don't rhyme, and you would have to cheat by relying on accent
and misspronunciation. I said that the words did not RHYME.....
> but to me, poetical terms shouldn't just be limited to "classical" poetry
> and left out of use in hiphop. whats the point in that?
That's ture... but if you say that something is a rhyme, then in general, it
should rhyme.
> for an extended metaphor, you guys are saying that hiphop would be
> equivalent to the "science" of using a divining-rod to find oil. "leave
> the scientific out of this! its divining, we don't need anything
> else!".
Is a divining rod science..... can of worms my friend....
BUT.... to answer your point. Never did we say leave poetic metre and
standards
out of hiphop, the word Assonance was dragged in half way, and has clouded the
issue.... the issue is tis...., the equivelant would be the "science" of using
a divining rod.
"Leave the divining out of this! It's got an element of science in this..."
Basically:- If you write a rhyme, that doesn't rhyme.... and it's distributed
as written.
Then don't be surprised if people point out when it doesn't rhyme, and say
that the
only way to get around this is for the words to be misspronounced. I'm all for
complex
poetical usage. Also, Assonance is also a grammatical expression, not just
poetic.
It's just that poetry celebrates it's usage. The fault stands at the fact the
it doesn't rhyme...
You've been arguing that Assonance gets past that, then in the end confirmed
what i said
in the first e-mail about how you'd be bending voice,accent,pronunciation to
cheat at
saying it................................so why did we ever move on to
assonance.... no one is
against assonance....... If El-P, Aceyalone et al stepped up to the mic and
said,
listen to this.... and then kicked lyrics akin to yours, it would be dope....
However...
if they stepped up and spat sentences that didn't rhyme, or didn't rhyme
unless
they misspronounced the words, they would be called for it.... claiming
Assonance
or claiming ignorance, it wouldn't work..... However... just kicking it... it
would...
> poetry in this case would be the scientific search for oil using
> soil samples, and whatever other forms of valid science they have that
> makes it that much better. i'm no oil tycoon so bear with me.
Yeah, but in this case... the OIL is the rhyme...... and you've defended not
finding any oil by saying - however, i did use scientific measures in not
finding it.
> for whatever reason, both hiphop and poetry are too ephemeral to stick
> rules too. "assonance" is not a rule of either, it is a "device", meaning
> it is a random term given to certain forms of lyrical writting that have
> cropped up over the years.
Noone is saying it is a rule, hard/fast slow/soft.... all i ever said was that
those
lines didn't rhyme, and you tried to convince me that they did... i said that
the
only way they would rhyme was through the purposeful miss-delivery of them,
which you have confirmed allready in this post. The use of assonance is fine,
however - may excuse the lack of the rhyme, but it doesn't make them rhyme....
> like it or not, even if every single person in alt.rap (except Pizon
> obviously :)
> doesn't know what the word
> "assonance" means, its still going to show up in rhymes. Its an element
> of language.
Hmmm... i know what the words mean, particularly as i had to research poetical
usage of terms for my dissertation at university for when i wrote a film using
lyrics as the dialogue.. Trust me, you see the document that i have (thousands
of lines)
and you will see how Assonance can be used in rhyme....
> so diss my line because it was wack, not because it displayed poetic
> complexity.
Excuse me? i dissed the line because it didn't RHYME.... you brought into it
the
poetical element.... you defended the fact that it rhymed, and contained
rhyming elements..
which i still disagree with..... If your going for a non rhyming line, it's
best to pick words
that don't give off the feeling of "oh, i bet he thought he'd get away with
that"... so basically
don't pick words that don't rhyme, yet are close enough to be too close....
Poetic complexity is great......
maybe i'll let you see some of the script...
Dave
Dave Paget
letter,
a syllable maybe.... not let me show you how the word breaks down and DOESN't
rhyme.....
Dose = Oh ..................... Doh-Ss
Corpse = Or .................. Cor-Pse
that is the sound of the O... It does not have the same pronunciation....
That is how the word is broken down.....
The syllable containing the O in Dorsal has the same pronunciation as Corpse
Keeps
apologise for my dissing your line....You have made some valid points
but it still seems kinda wierd to me to use aspects of "classical
poetry" in raps - but if you can pull it off then good for you.....then
again juxta-positioning, illiteration, metaphors are used then why not
assonance...however and I am not trying to bug you but assonance doesn't
really cover dose/corpse. Assonance is the repitition of vowel sounds
and would therefore apply to a more obvious ryhme what you have there is
more of a half rhyme and the more I look at it the more I think it's not
so bad! I think my problem with mixing the two genres could be taken
down very simply as rappers = macho, poets = pussy......Hmmmmmn, I may
regret saying that but I've been out with enough arty farty men to know!
There is a such thing as being too in touch with your feminine side!
And this in NO WAY applies to YOU that's just the imagery I hold on the
matter......
PEACE
--
*******Keeps*******
Dazed and confused.....?
Keeps
--
*******Keeps*******
Beat it up yer hoop!!
Keeps
wheras the O in Corpse is a short vowel sound.....jesus - It's been like
6 years since I studied english...I loved it and here am I stuck i na
stupid programming job....I hate computers.......would you call this a
tangent?
--
*******Keeps*******
Contemplating quitting her job.......nah - loan to pay...PANTS!!
Dave Paget
then he brought poetic terms into it... which were irrelevant, did
not prove the point, were missaplied to the letter 'o' which even
if applied correctly still didn't work... then basically said he'd fall
back on doing what i accused him of in the first place...
had to join in...
Dave Paget
and Assonance is about vowel sounds, 'o' is a letter not a vowel sound.
in the two words, Dose pronounces the O 'Oh' and in Corpse the O is
pronounced 'Or'
A more obvious rhyme wouldn't have needed an explanation as to why or why
not
it rhymed, and what else could explain it away.
but simply, his lyrics didn't rhyme......
Dave Paget
Corpse = C-Or-Pse = Or
Oh : Or = sound completely different, and so assonance is irrelivant.......
Keeps
In article <3A38E029...@sunderland.ac.uk>,
--
*******Keeps*******
Beat it up yer hoop!!
Keeps
Pizon
spinsane
> > but point is, yeah I think assonance should be used MORE in hiphop. it
> > allready is used a lot I'm sure I just don't have any lines off-hand to
> > quote.
>
> Sure, it could well be, but we only started talking about Assonance half way
> through.
thats true. as it stands though, assonance is a form of rhyme. its not a
"perfect" rhyme, but its still something that can be used with a lot of
success I think.
> > if my line of "doses" and "corpses" came off so wack, it was more
> > likely because I didn't set the flow up right to work with that assonance
> > correctly.
>
> Or it could be that you called it a rhyme, and it didn't.......
assonance is a kind of rhyme. its a poetic technique using rhyming sounds
from words. i don't see you having any point except that the line in
question isn't a "perfect rhyme". on top of that, "corpses" and
"doses" aren't even THAT far off to my ears. i think it works as a rhyme
in this context. i don't think it was a particularily great rhyme or line,
but I have to disagree about it being completely off because it isn't.
> > either that, or you'd have to hear it spit, in which case I
> > could bend the pronounciating of either word and make it fit anyway. such
> > is the power of spoken lyrics over written lyrics.
>
> BEND THE PRONUNCIATION......!!!!!!!!!!!! that was my point in the first place.
>
> Your not talking about Assonance... DOSE and CORPSE do not rhyme as spoken.
> You have to bend the word and use accent to cloud it...... that's what i said.
>
> That the words don't rhyme, and you would have to cheat by relying on accent
> and misspronunciation. I said that the words did not RHYME.....
in this case, I a) over reacted to your post and b) didn't grasp what you
were saying. your original post was (I believe) one, or at the most two,
sentences long. it came off more as if you were completely dismissing the
assonance of it.
and sure, I didn't at first reply "its not a rhyme, its an example of
assonance", because why would I need to do that? For one, I don't
consciously analyze all the poetic devices that pop up in what I write,
and two, I forgot about the definition of the term "assonance" until Pizon
hit me up with it, and until that point I did defend it in terms of
chopping the word apart for you to display my viewpoint. remember, I made
a reference to asking Kayal?
> > but to me, poetical terms shouldn't just be limited to "classical" poetry
> > and left out of use in hiphop. whats the point in that?
>
> That's ture... but if you say that something is a rhyme, then in general, it
> should rhyme.
to me, assonance is rhyme. from what I understand of the definition, I
think I'm correct.
i see your point. i think theres a failure in communication here, which
I'm going to lay completely on your shoulders for the original short
reply in which you didn't really explain anything, and didn't comment on
anything besides that first line, which made me assume you were just
ripping on me for no reason other than to do so.
but its all peace, I didn't mean to get so off kilter. i think the rest of
my post explains that. hopefully adequately.
> > poetry in this case would be the scientific search for oil using
> > soil samples, and whatever other forms of valid science they have that
> > makes it that much better. i'm no oil tycoon so bear with me.
>
> Yeah, but in this case... the OIL is the rhyme...... and you've defended not
> finding any oil by saying - however, i did use scientific measures in not
> finding it.
what do you mean by the term "the rhyme"? do you mean the whole written
verse, or just that specific case of "corpse/dose"? because, I often refer
to a complete written as a "rhyme", without necessarily making any
reference to a very specific two or more word rhyme scheme. if you're
talking "corpse/dose", its not a classical rhyme, but its still a
beautiful use of assonance (paraphrasing El-P :)
> > for whatever reason, both hiphop and poetry are too ephemeral to stick
> > rules too. "assonance" is not a rule of either, it is a "device", meaning
> > it is a random term given to certain forms of lyrical writting that have
> > cropped up over the years.
>
> Noone is saying it is a rule, hard/fast slow/soft.... all i ever said was that
> those
> lines didn't rhyme, and you tried to convince me that they did... i said that
> the
> only way they would rhyme was through the purposeful miss-delivery of them,
> which you have confirmed allready in this post. The use of assonance is fine,
> however - may excuse the lack of the rhyme, but it doesn't make them rhyme....
agreed. to let me clarify, I wouldn't bend the pronounciation at all if I
delivered this under any circumstances. unless I re-evaluated the rhyme
scheme and general structure, and perhaps worked it into such a shape that
by bending that rhyme I was trying to do something creative with the
lyric, which could be a neat concept to work on if I was blunted.
> > like it or not, even if every single person in alt.rap (except Pizon
> > obviously :)
>
> > doesn't know what the word
> > "assonance" means, its still going to show up in rhymes. Its an element
> > of language.
>
> Hmmm... i know what the words mean, particularly as i had to research poetical
> usage of terms for my dissertation at university for when i wrote a film using
> lyrics as the dialogue.. Trust me, you see the document that i have (thousands
> of lines)
> and you will see how Assonance can be used in rhyme....
tell me more... i'm enthralled.
>
> > so diss my line because it was wack, not because it displayed poetic
> > complexity.
>
> Excuse me? i dissed the line because it didn't RHYME.... you brought into it
> the
> poetical element.... you defended the fact that it rhymed, and contained
> rhyming elements..
> which i still disagree with..... If your going for a non rhyming line, it's
> best to pick words
> that don't give off the feeling of "oh, i bet he thought he'd get away with
> that"... so basically
> don't pick words that don't rhyme, yet are close enough to be too close....
our lyrics are ridiculous in large doses//
lightning strikes once a month at most kid, jarring alive corpses
of bizarre, pickled, rapping humoculouses//
i could take out the word doses and replace it with something else in this
case. but corpses/humoculouses is an essential paring of words. i always
picture humoculouses as mix-matched frankensteinian midgets in "jars",
hence the lightning, corpses, jarring, pickled, etc. to take corpses out
would suck to me, and fuck up the artistic motive. doses *could* be
replaced, but I have two qualms with that:
1) doses adds another word to be paired with corpses/humoculouses and
since neither of them is gonna leave, might as well leave doses in for
good measure.
2) to quote you
"which i still disagree with..... If your going for a non rhyming line,
it's best to pick words that don't give off the feeling of "oh, i bet he
thought he'd get away with that"... so basically don't pick words that
don't rhyme, yet are close enough to be too close...."
i just don't agree with your train of thought on that. its a basic
disagreement.
> Poetic complexity is great......
> maybe i'll let you see some of the script...
i'd love to see it. i think i've seen you talk about it around town
before, maybe talking to Miss_Bee about her movie. I forget. If you want
to send it, please send in .txt (DOS) format since my computer is so
old.
spinja // whew
> > Dave
spinsane
> apologise for my dissing your line....You have made some valid points
> but it still seems kinda wierd to me to use aspects of "classical
> poetry" in raps - but if you can pull it off then good for you.....then
> again juxta-positioning, illiteration, metaphors are used then why not
> assonance...however and I am not trying to bug you but assonance doesn't
> really cover dose/corpse. Assonance is the repitition of vowel sounds
not really, i think you and Paget have a good point. I *still* think
doses/corpse works a bit in the context, but paget has since destroyed the
hopes of my claim to assonance.
> and would therefore apply to a more obvious ryhme what you have there is
> more of a half rhyme and the more I look at it the more I think it's not
> so bad! I think my problem with mixing the two genres could be taken
> down very simply as rappers = macho, poets = pussy......Hmmmmmn, I may
i don't think lyrics should be held to those kinds of standards. if you
take lyrics out of their environments, and leave the cultural and
"personality" study of it they are, like poetry, a form of expression
nothing more. now we could get into different emotions being expressed,
but I'm not down for that. too much work unless I'm in Rec.Music.Hip-Hop.
> regret saying that but I've been out with enough arty farty men to know!
> There is a such thing as being too in touch with your feminine side!
> And this in NO WAY applies to YOU that's just the imagery I hold on the
> matter......
imagery = stereotype? i think you're making concrete statements made on
personal unscientific study... whether or not it applies to me :)
>
> PEACE
>
> --
> *******Keeps*******
>
> Dazed and confused.....?
>
>
> Sent via Deja.com
> http://www.deja.com/
>
--- wH0?
Keeps
> imagery = stereotype? i think you're making concrete statements made
on
> personal unscientific study... whether or not it applies to me :)
>
lol - Can I get out of my box b4 you put me in another one...Whoa! I DO
stereotype people - my homphobic and mysoginistic friends are gonna love
this one.....They've been callin little miss "I love everybody" for
years...I have finally made a polarised judgement...Thanks Spin!
--
*******Keeps*******
Chantin her new mantra -...I intensely dislike arty farty men!
Keeps
raheem924
ra
"Pizon" <rocks...@aol.commonsense> wrote in message
news:20001215001021...@ng-fs1.aol.com...
spinsane
i live in florida physically. mentally, i'm hung over.
--- wH0?
spinsane
> on
> > personal unscientific study... whether or not it applies to me :)
> >
> lol - Can I get out of my box b4 you put me in another one...Whoa! I DO
> stereotype people - my homphobic and mysoginistic friends are gonna love
> this one.....They've been callin little miss "I love everybody" for
> years...I have finally made a polarised judgement...Thanks Spin!
hey no problem. there's this woman in rec.music.hip-hop who did the exact
same thing to me recently, so i just stole her posts and re-directed them
at you :)
>
> --
> *******Keeps*******
>
> Chantin her new mantra -...I intensely dislike arty farty men!
>
>
> Sent via Deja.com
> http://www.deja.com/
>
--- wH0?
Paul Nijmeijer
news:Pine.GSO.4.21.00121...@nova.acomp.usf.edu...
> > > imagery = stereotype? i think you're making concrete statements made
> > on
> > > personal unscientific study... whether or not it applies to me :)
> > >
> > lol - Can I get out of my box b4 you put me in another one...Whoa! I DO
> > stereotype people - my homphobic and mysoginistic friends are gonna love
> > this one.....They've been callin little miss "I love everybody" for
> > years...I have finally made a polarised judgement...Thanks Spin!
>
> hey no problem. there's this woman in rec.music.hip-hop who did the exact
> same thing to me recently, so i just stole her posts and re-directed them
> at you :)
Joyce or Kayal?
Vadik
--
"Vadik will dispose chess foes, when he flows with fianchetto"
-- Spinsane
"Vadik is to chess, what Manson is to death"
-- Redeem
"Vadik, I pity +you+"
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