Review of Capone's -The Girl Of My Dreams-
Redeem
Anyway.
First impression(After one read):
This seems like something you wrote a long time
ago. I am obviously comparing it to your more recent
writtens. I'm not sure if you had a beat in mind, but it would
obviously be a slow one, b/c the tempo was 'mad-slow'!
I was thinking to LL's slow song, man, I honestly cannot think
of the name now. Also, it seemed 'early work' b/c the 'simple'
rhyme scheme and choice of words. I do not mean that as offensive.
There were only two rhymes at a time etc.
But y'see my point. If this were an 'early' then I could see potential
already...
HeadzUp wrote...
THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS
Lovely, that will be her description
She's what I need, she's my prescription
**Instantly, I spoke this as a soft-flow and
slow-tempo**
For a lonely heart full of need
She'll make her mark, plant her seed
**Is'nt that from DMX?? :)**
In my soul, until it's grown
Enslave the heart of M.C. CAPONE
He needs a girl that can show she cares
Relax, let down all her hair
**A switch of 3rd person talking. I do this often**
Sit back, and let him do the task
Fulfill all her desires, she won't have to ask
Thinking of the future, he might settle down
No more games, and no playing around
**To me, this seems like a young-relationship
thing, like a young crush. If thats so surely, she
wouldnt be playing around?
Scratch that, it's anal**
It's time to get serious, show some devotion
Click in her heart, go with your emotions
Treat her like a queen, give her passion
Buy her new clothes, whatever's in fashion
**Sweet. You must'a had money already!
I would have bought her an ice-cream**
The ring on her hand- It's a sign of affection
And you know you've got to show respect son
She's a woman, show some T.L.C.
Take her by the hand, get down on one knee
And vow to love her with all your heart
Together forever, or until death do you part
Then hold her in your arms, and caress with bliss
And charm her with a soft, soothing kiss
** I think I'm getting it now. It seems like you are
telling your child how to act. I see, its all clear.
This is like some soft-bedtime-story but with morales!**
Long-lasting, breath-taking
When you're apart your hearts are aching
Waiting for each other, waiting to return
Only thinking of each other, your hearts do yearn
**Word**
To reunite in a moment of heat
Bells ring when the two of you meet
**Usually for me, its Airport Announcements!**
It's love that lasts, it cannot die
Makes a man open up, shed tears, and cry
**But love can die. It can slowly just fade away and
be replaced with lust. Unless you mean
''It's (a) love THAT lasts"
Softly, living on your memory
Knowing in yourself that you have it in to be
A kinder, gentler, loving couple
You take it slow, cuddle, be subtle
*Nice*
Share your laughs, your cries, your pain
It's the kind of love to turn you insane
**Nice, now you are showing the 'other' side**
Knowing each others most secret pleasure
A feeling of love that can't be measured
Simply stated, she's the one girl
Built to last, she's your whole world
Commitment, promises to keep
Got her in your mind even as you sleep
It's stronger than a crush, or infatuation
Takes up all your time, lose your concentration
Deliver your message loud and clear
Tingles all over whenever you're near
Or together, combined as one
Working together, and having fun
**It's lines like that, that give me the impression its old**
Comforting each other, holding tight
You never argue, and you never fight
Listen to the radio, your favorite song
Marveling at the way you two can get along
**A love song on the radio? 'Marvelin'/'way'?
was you thinking of Mr. Marvin Gaye?**
Let the melody add to the mist
Of love, you've accomplished this*Nice*
Concept of Idealism
Brought into the world of Realism
Peace within, no animosity
This is no dream, this is my philosophy
A vision, no, a picture of her
Remembering the way that we were
In the days, and in the past
When I knew that our love would last
This is for you, my love so sweet
A sign of love, until next we meet
My darling lady whose enchanted my soul
You've taken my mind, you've taken me whole
And I would like to thank you with all I'm worth
Express myself at the ends of the Earth
I say a prayer that our feelings never end
We're lovers as well as best friends
So now I'll go, sit down and think
Envision in my thoughts the sight of your wink
**I said the rhymes were 'simple' but not bad. This one
was not good though**
On the day that I left, a promise unspoken
A promise that shall not be broken
*I like it*
I'll take this rhyme, give it a kiss as a seal
A symbol of love, ooh so real
I'm gonna leave you with this thought in mind
Keep in touch, don't be hard to find
Because I'll keep searching, forever
Until the day that we can be together
*Perfect example of the slow-tempo*
That's when life will really be swell
Until then- good-bye, farewell
CAPONE
**A tale of hope that ends sadly, but still with hope.
It's hard to sum this up. It seemed very ol'skool.
Which I'm not as heavily into, b/c of lyrical use.
If you dropped this and said this is brand new, then I would
critizise it. But I'm sure this is very old. Please tell me it is.
An easy-listening rhyme. Not complex, deep without seeming
it and relaxed flow...
Redeem...
HeadzUP
in 1990 on my first day in Navy Boot Camp, so yeah, it's 9 years old.
Actually I wrote this while listening to DJ Magic Mike. It was that slow
jam he made sampling "Between the sheets" from the Isley Brothers...
In fact, I recorded this to that song. I can send you a tape of it if
you like (it's 9 year old quality though)
Redeem wrote:
>
> This is like the battle of the Reviewers!!heheh....
> Anyway.
>
> First impression(After one read):
> This seems like something you wrote a long time
> ago. I am obviously comparing it to your more recent
> writtens. I'm not sure if you had a beat in mind, but it would
> obviously be a slow one, b/c the tempo was 'mad-slow'!
> I was thinking to LL's slow song, man, I honestly cannot think
> of the name now. Also, it seemed 'early work' b/c the 'simple'
> rhyme scheme and choice of words. I do not mean that as offensive.
> There were only two rhymes at a time etc.
> But y'see my point. If this were an 'early' then I could see potential
> already...
>
> HeadzUp wrote...
>
> THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS
>
> Lovely, that will be her description
> She's what I need, she's my prescription
>
> **Instantly, I spoke this as a soft-flow and
> slow-tempo**
>
> For a lonely heart full of need
> She'll make her mark, plant her seed
>
> **Is'nt that from DMX?? :)**
If he used it, well, lets just say, being that he works for Def Jam, it
wouldn't surprise me....
>
> In my soul, until it's grown
> Enslave the heart of M.C. CAPONE
> He needs a girl that can show she cares
> Relax, let down all her hair
>
> **A switch of 3rd person talking. I do this often**
>
> Sit back, and let him do the task
> Fulfill all her desires, she won't have to ask
> Thinking of the future, he might settle down
> No more games, and no playing around
>
> **To me, this seems like a young-relationship
> thing, like a young crush. If thats so surely, she
> wouldnt be playing around?
> Scratch that, it's anal**
No it's not anal, the only problem here is you missed that I switched
again and starting talking about myself. I am the one playing around...
(BTW, yeah, It was like a month after my 17th birthday)
>
> It's time to get serious, show some devotion
> Click in her heart, go with your emotions
> Treat her like a queen, give her passion
> Buy her new clothes, whatever's in fashion
>
> **Sweet. You must'a had money already!
> I would have bought her an ice-cream**
>
> The ring on her hand- It's a sign of affection
> And you know you've got to show respect son
> She's a woman, show some T.L.C.
> Take her by the hand, get down on one knee
> And vow to love her with all your heart
> Together forever, or until death do you part
> Then hold her in your arms, and caress with bliss
> And charm her with a soft, soothing kiss
>
> ** I think I'm getting it now. It seems like you are
> telling your child how to act. I see, its all clear.
> This is like some soft-bedtime-story but with morales!**
I didn't have a child yet, but yes, it was written in a "bedtime story"
format. I was hinting that we would have kids one day and this would be
what I told them when they asked how Mommy and I met...
> Long-lasting, breath-taking
> When you're apart your hearts are aching
> Waiting for each other, waiting to return
> Only thinking of each other, your hearts do yearn
> **Word**
> To reunite in a moment of heat
> Bells ring when the two of you meet
> **Usually for me, its Airport Announcements!**
> It's love that lasts, it cannot die
> Makes a man open up, shed tears, and cry
>
> **But love can die. It can slowly just fade away and
> be replaced with lust. Unless you mean
> ''It's (a) love THAT lasts" (Heh, 9 years and I NEVER noticed that I missed that "a". I think I SAY the "a" on the tape, now I gotta go listen to see if I do. You're rigt, that's what I meant.)
Nothing escapes you does it? Like I mentioned earlier, this was written
to Magic Mike's Isley Brothers remake, but at the time I couldn't
remember WHO sang the song. I thought it was Marvin Gaye. I never told
anyone that. I didn't want to seem TOOO stupid, now I don't care who
knows when I fuck up.
Once again, yes, it's extremely old. If you can get ahold of the Magic
Mike cut and rhyme with that song in the background, you'd find the
exact tempo. (Or I can copy a tape off for ya. My delivery sucked on
this back then. Maybe I should re-record it). The reason this was
"Personal" is because it was the first love rap I ever wrote, and I
performed it at my wedding. There were a lot of snail trails that day...
> Redeem...
--
You bastards are merely fodder to my versatile arsenal
Getting personal will be worse for you I'm cursed to be larcenal
And partial to leaving marks on you from a serious ass beating
No cheating in our next meeting, so your bravery was fleeting
-Me (c)1999