Personal Stuff- By demand
HeadzUP
They will all be under this subject, so you can all choose to ignore the
entire thread rather than try to read any of them. I could do this
through email with redeem, but I figured SOMEON else out there might
wanna read these too. This post is just a Headz Up (pun intended) to
those cats that might say "wtf is up with all those replies to himself?"
Redeem, (and anyoneelse that cares to) have a blast critiquing these.
They are all highly personal to me for varying reasons. I'll explain the
meaning/motivation of each line/word if you'd like.
I probably won't post them until I get back to work tonight though.
about 12 hrs from now.
--
You bastards are merely fodder to my versatile arsenal
Getting personal will be worse for you I'm cursed to be larcenal
And partial to leaving marks on you from a serious ass beating
No cheating in our next meeting, so your bravery was fleeting
-Me (c)1999
HeadzUP
I'm tired of all the hype and the glory
There is no happy ending to this story
Just misery, and grief, and pain
After all the struggling, what did I gain?
Not a thing that I consider achievement
Just hour after hour of suffering and grieving
What a mistake I've made, I want to correct it
When did it happen? I still recollect it
Only it's too late now, I can't travel in time
Put my life in reverse, change direction, hit <REWIND>
How silly of me not to look up ahead
I made the wrong choice, I'll take the other instead
I hate when this happens, it's so depressing
It feels like my life is in a recession
Down the tubes until it hits bottom
I don't want these feelings, but I still got them
It's like the end of the line, and nowhere to go
Should I put up with this? I say "NO!"
A man shouldn't have to feel melancholy or blue
But when the mistake was made, what could I do?
Just diminish I guess, simply fade away
So far life has been one long rainy day
CAPONE
HeadzUP
THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS
Lovely, that will be her description
She's what I need, she's my prescription
For a lonely heart full of need
She'll make her mark, plant her seed
In my soul, until it's grown
Enslave the heart of M.C. CAPONE
He needs a girl that can show she cares
Relax, let down all her hair
Sit back, and let him do the task
Fulfill all her desires, she won't have to ask
Thinking of the future, he might settle down
No more games, and no playing around
It's time to get serious, show some devotion
Click in her heart, go with your emotions
Treat her like a queen, give her passion
Buy her new clothes, whatever's in fashion
The ring on her hand- It's a sign of affection
And you know you've got to show respect son
She's a woman, show some T.L.C.
Take her by the hand, get down on one knee
And vow to love her with all your heart
Together forever, or until death do you part
Then hold her in your arms, and caress with bliss
And charm her with a soft, soothing kiss
Long-lasting, breath-taking
When you're apart your hearts are aching
Waiting for each other, waiting to return
Only thinking of each other, your hearts do yearn
To reunite in a moment of heat
Bells ring when the two of you meet
It's love that lasts, it cannot die
Makes a man open up, shed tears, and cry
Softly, living on your memory
Knowing in yourself that you have it in to be
A kinder, gentler, loving couple
You take it slow, cuddle, be subtle
Share your laughs, your cries, your pain
It's the kind of love to turn you insane
Knowing each others most secret pleasure
A feeling of love that can't be measured
Simply stated, she's the one girl
Built to last, she's your whole world
Commitment, promises to keep
Got her in your mind even as you sleep
It's stronger than a crush, or infatuation
Takes up all your time, lose your concentration
Deliver your message loud and clear
Tingles all over whenever you're near
Or together, combined as one
Working together, and having fun
Comforting each other, holding tight
You never argue, and you never fight
Listen to the radio, your favorite song
Marveling at the way you two can get along
Let the melody add to the mist
Of love, you've accomplished this
Concept of Idealism
Brought into the world of Realism
Peace within, no animosity
This is no dream, this is my philosophy
A vision, no, a picture of her
Remembering the way that we were
In the days, and in the past
When I knew that our love would last
This is for you, my love so sweet
A sign of love, until next we meet
My darling lady whose enchanted my soul
You've taken my mind, you've taken me whole
And I would like to thank you with all I'm worth
Express myself at the ends of the Earth
I say a prayer that our feelings never end
We're lovers as well as best friends
So now I'll go, sit down and think
Envision in my thoughts the sight of your wink
On the day that I left, a promise unspoken
A promise that shall not be broken
I'll take this rhyme, give it a kiss as a seal
A symbol of love, ooh so real
I'm gonna leave you with this thought in mind
Keep in touch, don't be hard to find
Because I'll keep searching, forever
Until the day that we can be together
That's when life will really be swell
Until then- good-bye, farewell
HeadzUP
How can it be so strong?
Can love like this exist?
Surely this can't be wrong
Then why must they persist
To keep my love away
When we both want to stay
What kind of madness do we face?
Don't let our love go to waste...
How can it feel so good?
Why does it feel so right?
I'd answer if I could
But first I must win the fight
Against those who try to keep me down
Don't want me to spread my love around
But it's useless don't they know
Because I really love her so...
How can she bring such joy?
So alive it must be true
Open up the heart of this boy
And give him a love all anew
To make his day grow brighter
His eyes have opened wider
So now he can see the one
Who his mind cannot overcome...
I discovered that a life filled with pain
Can be made better by a girl
All the sadness and the shame
Can be shunted around the world
All you need is a simple tear
Emotion to overcome the fear
Use her love to help you smile
A symbol of love in your child...
Remember always that you care
No matter where you go
Nothing can destroy the love you share
Your love will always grow
Increased affection and respect
All the rumors you reject
You hold your child with pride
For that feeling deep inside
A child will bring pleasure to your life
And chase away the strife
Makes any day seem better
No matter what the weather
Listen to the laughter get louder
With each moment you grow prouder...
You brought new life to Earth
It was a gift from God to you
A child blessed at birth
No more need for feeling blue
Who has more love than a mother?
A child will only love one other
And the greatest thing you've heard
It was the child's very first words
Oh yes she is a gift from grace
A gift that cannot be replaced
HeadzUP
Beastly, ghastly, ugly, brutal
Devious, deadly, dubious, cruel
The scars of life begin to show
The anger and hatred continue to grow
The sacred plights of holy knights
Are still to fight the Wrongs with Rights
But this is a battle which they have lost
And lost at such a pricely cost
For just as in the days of old
The cost for loss is that of soul
Whose soul is lost by feudic struggle?
Tis his whose mind is so troubled
By thoughts of woe, remorse, regret
Melancholy, gloom, sadness, and fret
A soul as this will disappear
As though that he were never here
Never to reach that goal in the sky
Just shrivel up, grow cold & pale, and die
Alone
HeadzUP
but I don't remember which ones.
FEBRUARY
Listen up close and take heed, my brother man
I'm a break it down smooth, like no other can
Rodney King "Da Man", He was made an example
Then riots broke out just to show a mere sample
Of the power, that dwells in us all
United we stand, divided we fall
400 years and now we can vote
After all of this time they still take us for jokes
Not enough has been done, we need to do more
Is this what Fred Douglas and Tubman died for?
Where is the King? Did he die in vain?
The oppression was meant to turn a Black Man insane
Brother X had a plan, HNIC
It's their goal, to keep us all wanted at large
Are we the enemy, or does the enemy just laugh?
Laughing on the grave of your brothers Black ass
These people better learn; Treat us as an equal
Or brothers get together and its Civil War the sequel
Think about the sisters, it's our sons that they bear
Don't turn your backs on them like you don't care
Don't get mad- get even, continue the fight
For once in our lives lets do something right
Think of our children on drugs or in jail
Welfare recipients can't afford bail
They brought all the guns, the weapons of war
I'm tired of all the death, the bloodshed, and gore
Watching our people in complete disarray
Fooled by the devil who led them astray
They want us held back in the depths of society
Whoever thought that up should take a sobriety
Test, we're charging ahead
But fall for the smile, and they'll have you misled
They want us to fight and destroy in our rage
Another reason for them to keep us encaged
Many think slavery was a real good idea
It's not the Black man they own, but the Black man they fear
And fear us they have for centuries on end
Get a little power and watch them pretend
To be your right arm, always by your side
In secret they pray that you up and just die
Return to the days of the whips and the chains
You are the cattle and they hold the reigns
Instead we fight, unite, and we rule
Now they won't try to play us for the fool
Respect has been earned, and its long overdue
Peace to my brother, and my sisters too
Once again take heed, remember this rhyme
And fight for what's yours or we'll run out of
Time!!!!
CAPONE
SOME WORDS TO THE WISE
This is kind of nukish, no I mean nuclear
A brother that's hype, the brother that you fear
Breaking it down to levels yet untold
Listen to the rhyme as the rhythm unfolds
It'll roll off the tongue, ooh rather smoothly
Addicted to the beat, just like a groupie
Now you wanna rhyme, make your own words up
Music and the mind, another dope merger
Back in Africa, the drum beats kicking
In America, the DJ's mixing
Listen up close, a natural melody
Now think back on how good it felt to be
Young and simple, kind of like a baby
All your goals ahead, maybe just maybe
But now-a-days we got pollution
One major problem with no real solution
Brothers getting killed, a little bit of paper
Where's the conclusion to this little caper
Everywhere drugs, it's got my momma crying
Everywhere guns, my little brother's dying
Problems all the same, but can't get together
Talking, talking, talking, yeah man- whatever
We need more food, homes for the homeless
Now think about how long that we have known this
We need more space, jobs for the jobless
I think about the bad, and join for the sobfest
Think about our kids in a world without a racist
Food for everyone, jobs, and very spacious
It's not too far away, rather kind of close up
Take the least we got, and make the very most out
Reach for the stars, and invest in our future
Then our present wounds will all be sutured
And in passing time they will heal on their own
Some words to the wise from QUICKDRAW CAPONE
Here's the second verse, guest starring DOO-DOO
Think about a world, without this fucking voo-doo
Or none of these bitches running our congress
A bunch of no-account, fucking whore mongers
Nigga's getting killed over shit like a rock
Or shot in the head, "He was on the wrong block"
Yeah, this is the dark side, I'm a be cussing
And when I'm said & done, a bitch will be fussing
You wonder why we lie, rape, loot, and murder
That's the only time a black man is heard of
No one wants to listen when I try to speak my mind
But they listen well when I'm holding up a 9mm
At first I thought "Yeah, maybe I'll get justice"
The judge saw my skin, laughed, and said "Fuck this"
"Throw his ass in jail, make sure he's taped up"
"Open up his pants, so he can get raped up"
"Or put him in the Army, so he can be muddy"
"Or shot in the leg, so he can die bloody"
Somewhere overseas, but Africa it ain't
Smoked by some white boys wearing battle paint
Why waste the money when we can do it home
Pump me full of drugs, so I can look stoned
And beat me with a nightstick, many people witness
No one says a word- Now they're on my shit list
Police ain't faking, they're beating on a nigga
Instead of a beat down just pull the fucking trigger
When will it end, all the fucking bullshit
I'm not your fucking slave, so down with the bullwhip
Ask me a question, I answer it with violence
Used to be noisy, now it's just silence
And I'm a keep killing, 'till all of them are gone
After 400 years we can move the fuck on
I'm outta here boys, I'm a leave you alone
Some words to the wise from a homie of CAPONE
HeadzUP
I just want to know if she hurt herself
I know it meant a great deal to her
It was a shame it had to be that way
A tragedy that it had to occur
Never did we get to feel the Love
Nor did we get to feel the joy
The thrill of parental obligation
Was it a Girl or Boy ?
Neither knows , neither knows
That is what hurts so much
Stolen from the very womb
Before they could feel the touch
So empty now, a childless void
A memory that never became
A fantasy, and possibly
The root of the tree of pain
They cry for their loss
No chance to make another
But still they live in happiness
They still have each other
Just holding tight they will go on
No need to cry
The Love they share keeps them as one
And keeps their spirits high
Come, my dear, and share my warmth
Let me hold you so we'll live
As a united front against the pain
I've got so much Love to give
Don't cry my Love we will succeed
In making it through this life
I promise you a brand new heart
Now that you're my wife
HeadzUP
Choices, choices we must make
Which path, which road, which shall we take
A difficult decision, Life or Death
A decision made with one quick breath
At early morning, the crack of dawn
Look, Mama's holding her newborn
Softly snuggled into her arms
Full of wit, and Love, and charm
Once a seedling nestled tight
Now a flower blooming bright
New Love, new joy, new life to share
New Mind, new Soul, new Heart which cares
And cries aloud with throbbing throes
And clings to Papa for it's he that knows
And Mama too with milk for feed
To calm the swelling aching need
Please, but please, Mama don't leave
The fragile one grips onto your sleeve
For nine months now in safety's nest
Now full and free with all the rest
To create a memory that'll never fade
A happier choice by them were made
HeadzUP
Once settled, never reminded
Or bought up, it's all behind us
Just a memory now forgotten
So far gone, decayed and rotting
How it fades, how it ebbs
So so lost, caught in a web
Dissipating, flutter away
Now diluted, shades of gray
Is it amnesia or senility
Or final peace and serenity
Maybe it's fatal, maybe it's death
So very lethal what must come next
A quick reminder, a sudden burst
Take the last thought, make it the first
Now remember, lost days of old
Down in the dungeon, dark, dank, and cold
In the pits, a mindless void
There's no turning back, no way to avoid
The confrontation, finally we face
But just a nibble, we must not taste
A little knowledge will take one far
Then step back to see where we are
Relive the feelings, be at peace
Let all misunderstanding cease
Take the time, find where your mind lies
You may be intrigued, you might be surprised
A refresher's always good for the heart
Brings together memories that were apart
Re-etch the past, let out the ghost
Think of that which meant the most
Precious times that have gone by
If not relived will surely DIE....
HeadzUP
A tisket, a tasket, sometimes you ask if
It matters, the pitter patter, in the basket
Hearts beating, minds meeting, it's a crap game
Baby fingers, feelings linger, it's a black thang
Devoid of mind, in a grind, such sadness
No soul, body cold, sheer madness
Where's my baby, going crazy, it's such a rush
Where'd my life go, I think I might go and just flush
Down the drain, another plane, another place
Full of pain, maybe insane, leave the race
On the brink, lost in a blink, then it's done
On the edge, it's like I'm wedged between two guns
Now they're firing, so very tiring, I want peace
At any price it'd be nice to just cease
Then silence, no more violence, just Earth
No hostility, or instability, a new birth
So tranquil, I'd be thankful, maybe dance
I'm ready, hands are steady, give me a chance
If I'm lucky I'll find they've stuck me in a grave
Where I can sleep, so very deep, and be saved
CAPONE
HeadzUP
It would appear to be that I have none
No life, no Love, no, not a one
Empty home with empty spaces
Vanished dreams with vanished faces
All alone to face the world
No precious stones like diamonds or pearls
No joyous occasions like birth or wedding
No piece of pie will I be getting
No chance or prayer will I have had
No joy, no glee, no feelings but sad
It seems that I am now too late
I want the grand, I want the great
I've tried and tried my best for this
Yet still I'm branded pessimist
With all the efforts, and all the will
I've made no gain, a failure still
There is someone who shares my plot
They say they're happy when I know they're not
For there is something I've promised to give her
I should have known, I could not deliver
A simple request, a simple demand
Could not be granted by my hand
So that which I have managed to acquire
Is now but lost in the raging fire
The emblems and ashes that were my heart
Returns me to the end - another start
That someone I have will surely leave
As I have feared, as I believed
Which will leave me with Nothing yet again
How it was I began, how it is I will end
With nothing... Alone
HeadzUP
Day in, day out, day in, day out
What pray tell is it all about
The same routine, the same routine
Monotonous, redundant, repetitious, obscene
No purpose in life, no meaning, no goal
Stripped of mind, and body, and soul
A speck of light in a starry sky
No concept of who, or what, or why
Or which door holds the sacred prize
Or where you'll meet final demise
A speck of dust, a tiny flea
A failed and crippled mentality
Why bother, who cares, what's the point
Life is full of kinks and joints
While death is welcomed happily
For in it resides serenity
Peace at last since purpose not
Or if there were it was forgot
There's nothing worse than useless men
How it is now, how it was then
If no purpose a man can find
His is truly a wasted mind
A nothing, a nobody, a waste of space
A bum who lost the human race
A wad of gum, a piece of dirt
That is all a man is worth
Who has no guidance or no hope
Whose reached the end of a short rope
It's time to peel the rope to shreds
It's time to heal an aching head
To cease is peace, a brief release
We seek the beast beneath the grief
And oust him yes, with no mercy no
Just kill the bastard quick and cold
This task is done by angered hand
All to die a happier man
HeadzUP
Whisked away before the joy could be shared
Stolen from us and yet no one cared
No law, no justice, no right, just wrong
You'd think we'd have learned as time went along
Instead we charged on with our hopes up high
To watch in horror our precious dream die
Such a criminal act, a diabolical deed
Cursed are we for we cannot breed
Again we've failed, again we've crashed
The product of our Love refused to last
He slipped away in the dark of night
He took a dive, he lost the fight
Clutching on with a fragile grasp
Silence was broken with a single gasp
All the futures that might have been
Have come to an abrupt and sudden end
He was daddy's "Might," and mommy's "May"
Until that night he slipped away
To sleep that sleep of endless slumber
Where sheep are counted in bountiful number
Nestled in Heaven on a cradle of clouds
Our creation, our lives, our Angel's child
HeadzUP
Not once, not twice, three times or more
I cry & wail as I lay on the floor
The vision has passed, the feeling gone
Lovely dreams are what push me along
I could have, I would've, I almost died
Some say I should have, that's why I cry
Flashes of my lover, how quickly they pass
Survival of the fittest, that's why our love lasts
Who could have guessed when it might end
Who would've known I might have lost a friend
A chance to sleep just once was taken
A harmless act, I was mistaken
In the blink of an eye all was lost
I watched my hopes & dreams get tossed
And from the wreckage emerged a ghost
Thinking of that which meant the most
From the ruins arose a flower
But soon that daisy was devoured
By fear from horrors never imagined
And evils that were newly fashioned
With thoughts of losing all I've gained
That for which I've struggled and pained
I stretched my wrists to greet the blade
For I was hopeless and dismayed
The cut was swift, but alas death not
Now a memory of the life I forgot
I left that night thinking only of strife
Taking for granted the gift of life
Finally I've come to see the light
I know what's good, I know what's right
With these new eyes I count my blessings
I now know better, I've learned my lesson
CAPONE
HeadzUP
A flash of light, a whisper of sound
I find my body on the ground
Crippled & frail, death is near
How I imagined, how I feared
A broken bone, a broken mind
No gray matter can we find
Limp on the ground, the body cold
No loss of mass, just loss of soul
The lights are out, the well is dry
How is the mind after you die
A taste of death, a simple brush
Is all you need to fully crush
Any hopes or dreams you might have had
To live without soul is truly sad
Killing my body was just a start
It killed my mind, it killed my heart
It makes you cold all the more
Freezes the heart down to the core
If I must live without my feelings
Then I want out of all these dealings
Forever to remember that fateful day
When my life had slipped away
What true horror did make me cringe
Was my thoughts while on the hinge
For on the brink of light and dark
I had hoped to kill the wounded Lark
The peace is welcomed and even sought
For all the wonder it might have brought
A selfish thought, an easy way out
That would have been my choice no doubt
My faith had gone, I have no luck
So while on the verge I had given up
I wanted to die, nay, I still do
It may be evil, but it is true
I thought it was over, none left to give
I welcomed Oblivion, but instead I lived
The memories of life still make me cry
I want to forget, I want to die
HeadzUP
Always gazing, always gawking
Always crowding, always talking
They've come to pay their last respects
Heads bowed down as if broken necks
Tears of pain, or tears of joy
Some crocodile here, some real McCoy
Wincing as if they feel the pain
They just don't know, it's not the same
My body is rotting and fading away
Now all who I know have come to pray
From distant lands the vultures gather
They fidget & peck, and bicker & banter
Many wail & howl, and shout aloud
I spot my true friends in the crowd
The silent ones there with honest grief
Who gaze at me in disbelief
Those there for me through thick & thin
And now are with me in the end
My lover, my family, my friends, my life
Those who shared my suffering & strife
Who held me high and rightly bold
My only friends if truth be told
They scatter amongst the flock of sheep
That have come to disturb my final sleep
Those that have come to watch me die
To see that sparkle leave mine eyes
To view the flatline- morbid & plain
Those that would sooner see me slain
They wait for me to give up hope
To watch me hang from a short rope
They want me to break, or bend, or give
But I'll show them- I think I'll live
Waiting for Death, my body torn
No finale here for I'll go on
I'm not giving up, I have new fire
New hopes, new dreams, and new desires
A miracle of life, an act of God
They raised their heads from their nods
To find that I can sing and dance
For I've been given a second chance
And even if this is just a dream
My friends are happy to view the scene
To lay witness to an ailing man
Laugh at Death because he can
What blissful events will the future bring
I know it could be most anything
Whatever it is I do not care
As long as I know that I'll be there
With friends by my side for love & support
And angels guide my path- My personal escorts
The future is bright, possibilities abound
And I'm happy to say that I'll still be around
HeadzUP
In the pits so murky deep
I've come to put myself to sleep
A loved one gone, and so abrupt
I find myself again corrupt
Guilt ridden from my crime
The madness plays with my mind
Why did she go? Why did I stay?
Surely the devil's come out to play
A trade perhaps, this life for that
What I would do to bring her back
I danced on Death with so much glee
Instead Death took my family
How we mourn, how we ache
This must be a rash mistake
Too old to live, too young to die
I think of her with teary eyes
The only solstice I could afford
Is that she may now see the Lord
Not just in spirit, not just a trace
But see the whole, and face to face
All around in Heaven she now resides
In that promised land- a paradise
No one deserves more that final rest
Than does she, she was the best
In silence she went, with cries she goes
Only to remember we LOVED her so
HeadzUP
When she went she went alone
Now I feel I've been disowned
Who's to blame? Why did she pass?
They say no one- that's bouldedash
My fault of course, I am to blame
For this crime I feel ashamed
Dishonored my family, I've lost my place
A cheating bastard of the human race
If I had lost she might have won
I knew if I didn't she would be done
But still I ran, Death at my heels
An unfair game, that's how I feel
I crossed the line, left her to fall
Now she has lost while I stand tall
What price to pay, what cross to bear
I should have lost, then she'd be here
DOC
A grudge on life, to toy with death
A wheeze, a whimper, my last breath
To what end, which way to go
So crowded, enclosed, no room to grow
Trapped in a temple of woe and remorse
No other alternative, no other recourse
The path ahead proves tragic still
The road to freedom smells of swill
So slavery remains, a slave of life
And in my heart I find the knife
Double-edged and quick to cut
So far life has been a rut
No ups- just downs, no ins- just outs
It's time to end this timeless bout
First round K.O., I could not last
My torment gone, I'm glad it's passed
Lying still; for I've lost the fight
Thank Death I no longer see the light
HeadzUP
What a waste of time, what a waste of space
I wish everyone would get out of my face
All these years, all these things
What was the point? What did it bring?
No solutions, no happiness, or no joy
I thought I found answers, it was a ploy
A joke, a facade, just plain untrue
Unreal, so molested, nothing left to do
A mystery is formed, a never ending puzzle
When the smoke clears, the end of a muzzle
The barrel is loaded, the hammer is cocked
Yet still in the end the bullet was stopped
Another failure for me, but it's not surprising
Thinking long and hard, finally realizing
There is no point, no goals to life
Just a period in time full of gloom & strife
A bad day, a bad week, try a bad year
With more years to come despite my fears
It just won't end, the glass has cracked
No longer find peace, no longer relaxed
Wandering the night, no soul, no home
Tackling all the hardships cold & alone
Laughter in the distance, but laughter insane
Hysterical at best, the lion is tame
Now that Reason is gone, and Chaos is crowned
I don't see a point in further sticking around
The trigger was pulled, the life was shattered
It's a damned shame, because none of it mattered
HeadzUP
All is clear, I feel omnipotent
No knowledge can escape me
Deep in thought, a mental summit
See where my mind takes me
Imagination rules this land
Reality is but a figment
An insignificant digit in life
Without flavor, odor, or pigment
Lost am I in my thoughts
Complex problems I have solved
I have reached that other level
My mind has just evolved
For I can see where others cannot
I now know what life's about
I saw it all and wondered none
Until my lights went out
Then there was only darkness
Overwhelming and all consuming
Divine was what I had once felt
But I see I was only fooling
For the darkness humbles my soul
I am cold, alone, and timid
Left a fragile, lonely, boy
A shadow of my former image
The time I lay unconscious
My mind is empty and void
The silence is harsh and brutal
Like a weapon that's been deployed
The harshness of this reality
Is more that I can handle
I can feel my mind exploding
Torn to pieces, broken, dismantled
Sanity was once my companion
Once we could even relate
But now my sanity is free
The cuckoo has escaped
Leaving my nest empty
A vegetable with no peel
In a world ruled by Chaos
Where Death is very real
I have stared at Death
And Death sneered right back
But still I held my ground
And warded off His attack
But to what avail I wonder
What prize was I to gain
For ever since I cheated Death
I've had naught but sorrow & pain
A sorrow of such intensity
That even now I fear the dark
And pain of such magnitude
That I should kill the Lark
Put an end to all the misery
Give up, give in, surrender
If this is the club of life
I no longer want to be a member
The price is too great
No soul, no mind, no me
There simply is no substitute
For my peace and sanity
Time now and time again
I can feel my lights go flicker
And in the background yes
I can hear ol' Death snicker
Reminding me of my burden
Of the debt that I still owe
Of just how generous was he
To have spared me so
While all the while I suffer
Ever wondering when I'll pay
When next my lights go out
I may never again see day
No sunshine, nor moonlight
No bright rays here to warm
Merely a book of emotions
With all the pages torn
I want to end this madness
Either win or lose this game
For if this keeps up longer
I may never again be the same
I miss the light, I loathe the dark
But with the dark comes peace
So if that's what it takes
I think I'd rather cease
HeadzUP
Don't give a shit, don't give a damn
Just take the gun and then- Blam! Blam!
Do it now, and do it quick
Of this life I am now sick
Sick of all the hatred and sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
What's the point? A point there is not
All compassion lost, all reason forgot
Now it's all a waste of time
Tasteless, bland, mindless, sublime
Life is just a road to Death
Closer and closer with every breath
Do not fear, Oblivion's near
What is there is better than here
For there at least a purpose lives
To see who hates and Who forgives
Dastardly, bastardly, bitching mood
A pout, a sigh, mumble and brood
And burn in anger for reason what
Because life is just a stinking rut
So do it quick and do it now
Just take the gun and Pow! Pow! Pow!
HeadzUP
Harbingers of Death, agents that kill
We live to destroy and eliminate at will
A single stroke, and many will die
Many at work, but most as they lie
Asleep and dreaming of a world gone sour
Happily we await that fateful hour
Sadistic by nature, cruel by choice
Straight out genocide makes us rejoice
We bare our fangs- Twenty four to the count
Sure we could do it with a lesser amount
But why destroy some when you could destroy all
Easily with death sticks forty feet tall
No conscience or feelings, no hesitation or doubt
No retaliation, no comeback, all runners are out
Death wanted a soldier, a warrior, a brute
A maniac, a psycho, a killer who shoots
Death wanted a heartless and soulless cuss
The demons didn't rate, so Satan picked us
SUBMARINES
The stars are shining but I don't see
Trapped in a can at some odd feet
No sun, no wind, not even some rain
Just regret, sorrow, disdain, and pain
Good to be amongst so many races
Too bad everyday it's the same faces
No wife, no kids, barely even a friend
Just waiting for this deterrence to end
Poking some holes, and playing war
Is all this tub is even good for
But Heaven forbid that we don't go
Freedom's at stake, or didn't you know?
Some madman might try to conquer all
We're here to see he takes a fall
Bully? No, Protectors of Peace
How long ago did the gunfire cease?
Who's lives now hang on our reactions?
Conduct ourselves in an orderly fashion
A show of force, but really who cares?
No one's afraid, yet no one dares
It's all a game, and not even fun
A waste of time for everyone
But sailors are as sailors be
Trapped in a can at some odd feet
DOWN UNDER
Down to the depths of hell we go
Our can is rocking to and fro
We sink to our deaths yet we stay cool
We laugh in the face of a fate so cruel
Trained to live, but destined to die
Some will snap, and others will cry
The walls close in, the pipes give way
The fire is put out by the steam which sprays
Emergency blow, oh no, too late
There is no surface, there is no escape
Lower, lower, yet lower still
Some of us forgot to sign our wills
What we'd give to see scorching sun
We meet with Thresher and Scorpion
Three section now our watch rotation
Our enemy knows not of our location
Implode, explode, how we meet doom
Cold and alone in a flooded bunk room
Silently we lived, violently we fell
Down to the uncharted depths of Hell
1SQ
Under a wavy sky are we
The men who visit the seven seas
We've conquered the land, we rule the skies
Visions of the sea now steer our eyes
With us destruction, violence, and war
Candles that burn forever more
To ignite the world in one bright blaze
Into the fire our eyes now gaze
We see the future, we see the past
Chased away in the awesome blast
We've solved all problems with one solution
The answer was simple- A Revolution
A change so great none can withstand
Just watch as Heaven and Earth shake hands
No hunger, no pollution, no violence, just Death
How sweet the air in that final breath
No hatred, or bigotry, or indifference even
Something for all the masses to believe in
An angel of Death slashes with mercy
Soon we'll see how bad a curse can be
No trace left of any faces
No split, no division between the races
All are equal now, none inferior
All that matters is the interior
But that has faded in the catastrophe
It's as bad as bad can be
Or worse still for now all are gone
No one left who can move on
From this mistake no one can learn
We've given the Earth an eternal burn
We've formed a new Sun amongst the stars
Or is Hell the term for where we are
Or where we were through all this time
Or is Hell just a state of mind
Whatever the case, it's our own fault
For all the havoc we have brought
Ultimate power in the hands of man
Has led to destruction once again
Where I'll die I'll die alone
No cave, no tree, nothing called home
I welcome the blaze with open arms
Entrance me please with mystic charms
For in the blaze is a forever peace
Upon this promise my soul will feast
Others may kick, and scream, and pout
But I will go without a shout
No whimpers from me, only a smile
It's what I wanted all this while
HeadzUP
BATTLESTATIONS
Destitution, pollution, there's no resolution
It's time to take a stand and join the revolution
An excuse, son, is all we had for so many years
It was boosted by our peers, and feeding off our fears
We near the time when something will be done
CAP-ONE's got the gun, and you know it ain't for fun
Don't run, unite, let's do this all together
We're fed up, so we wet up, now they listen to us better
Then weather the storm, we're striking down like lightening
It's getting real exciting, the whole concept is frightening
Enlightening the ignorant, revelation to the people
To this there is no equal, an Armageddon sequel
And we know our voices are heard across the nation
A natural sensation, straight venting off frustrations
Like Jason, I'm murdering to get my point across
It's time to cut the losses, I'm taking it to the bosses
The cost is my soul, but I'd pay off any prices
No time for any vices, I'm rolling both the dices
I might get my head handed to me in a basket
I'm ready for this task, and I'm willing to kick some asses
Backwards and forward, and I will come equipped
Because I'm catching me a fit, so I'm bringing all of it
I won't quit, I'm determined to see that there is justice
Even if I have to bust hits another one will bite the dust
It's a must get, can't trust it, public enemy number one
When all is said and done I'm gonna get me another gun
Because the sun won't set until all my prayers are answered
I'm ending all the banter by killing all these cancers
The bastards are paying for all their manipulations
A natural sensation, straight venting off frustrations
New day son, new order, I'm drawing up new borders
Doing it like I aught to, by doing up a slaughter
The waters are trembling, because the Earth is shaking
Too many people hating, I'm ending all the waiting
By breaking off something, I'm breaking it off loud
All the people gather around, and they listen to the sounds
Of the clouds, hear the thunder, I'm putting people under
The spell of a conundrum, it makes them feel like dumb-dumbs
No wonder the massacre is done with so much violence
It's been a long while, hence the reason for the silence
The vile stench of judgment is spread for many miles
Soon I ripped off all the smiles, and I dipped them all in bile
Ooh what guile, oh what gumption, I ended all assumptions
I started this back from when, so now I would be done then
Only one end, the trials, and so many tribulations
A natural sensation, straight venting off frustrations
HeadzUP
She looked at mama with pretty brown eyes
Mama looked back, and joyfully cried
To see herself in a package small
Lying on her tummy in a curled-up ball
Mama of the future, mama in the past
Mama with tears as she played and laughed
Now look to the side to see daddy's joy
It came from a girl, not from a boy
Daddy's little girl is alive and well
And on this fact his mind now dwells
Happiness is a baby so full of life
Total satisfaction that comes from his wife
A gift that is given, a gift that is shared
A gift straight from GOD, a gift that is rare
Over the phone the info was given
It made my flavorless life worth living
To be a father, to be a daddy
No greater passion for this laddie
I will be there to teach of LOVE
This task was assigned from up above
HeadzUP
My thoughts turn to homicide
My actions turn violence
Still I think of suicide
But now I sit in silence
A frenzy spurned by vengeance
A rampage fueled by rage
I will cause much impingement
While I am trapped in this cage
Nothing left but misery
Nothing ahead but danger
No lessons learned from history
If I must vent my anger
I seek to tame the urge to kill
I seek to tame the urge to maim
I know that fact is that I will
Then nothing again will be the same
But consequences matter not anymore
No longer am I burdened by guilt
All compassion has long since left the store
And reality still stands at tilt
I dream of deaths brought on by fury
I dream of mass annihilation
I pity the world for oh so surely
They are the objects of my frustrations
WARNINGS
They know not of who they deal with
They know not of who I am
They'll have nothing left to feel with
Once the lot are all condemned
The struggle will continue
The fight will go on
No dessert served with this menu
Because, you see, they are wrong
They think this is simple
They think this but a game
Soon they'll feel the ripples
And then they'll know the shame
IGNORANCE
They keep fucking with me because they don't know
They leave me no options on which way to go
A quick slice, an accurate shot, and all are gone
An end to a problem that's lasted so long
How pissed can a man get who's been betrayed
By thievery & dishonesty by those who'll be slayed
As angry as a volatile man can get
Soon to realize there is an end yet
Now a conspiracy unfolds, one of long standing
A job well done, in fact, it was outstanding
They set it up, and followed through the stroke
But their efforts are in vain, a running joke
SHOTS
A caged animal, a fenced-in dog
Without a care I sit on this log
Minding my own, I was asleep
Until in my pockets these assholes did creep
And they call me the crazy one, boy, what a hoax
Doc wants to shove a needle in my throat
But I refuse, so they get all upset
They surround me with buffoons as a threat
Still I refuse, but I agree to remain
If they'd step the fuck off they'd see I was sane
But instead the pry, and poke, and prod
As usual- my only relief is through GOD
HeadzUP
Welcome to your world little one
Welcome to the sights and sounds
Welcome to the tastes and smells
Welcome to the sky, the seas, and the grounds
Welcome to my arms my child
Welcome to all my heart
Welcome to your Queen-dom
Welcome to your brand new start
Welcome to Mommy's love
Welcome to Daddy's affection
Welcome home to your dreams
Welcome addition to our family collection
HeadzUP
Waiting in line with millions of others
Some are sisters, some are brothers
To take a trip where return is uncertain
Away from the comfort of a velvety curtain
An arduous path of twists and bends
Now but a straight-away to reach tunnels end
Great speeds are attained in frictionless flight
Only but briefly- a flash of white light
Into a cave where disaster awaits
Danger in the darkness wherein lies Fate
Overcoming obstacles one-by-one
The fire, and flooding, and plague have gone
Hear the drum beating, by the masses is death
Quicksand and acid until only a few are left
Marching through madness to the Canal Of Creation
Soon to set sail, muster on station
Deadlier than Amazon- the waters ahead
Natives are restless, now more are dead
An island in the ocean- an iceberg perhaps
Move on, push on, the skies will collapse
An island paradise, like a desert oasis
A look of wonder spreads across all faces
Touchdown, kiss earth, journey nearly concluded
Many disoriented, and many deluded
The ground quakes and trembles with massive force
Many are thrown by the bucking horse
Lightening strikes and shelter is sought
Deep into the earth to escape the onslaught
Cracks now abyss, soon canyons have formed
None have remained where once it had stormed
The great earth divides, more continents arise
Watch in amazement as earth comes alive
Forty long weeks with only the night
The Word was spoken- "And then there was light..."
CAPONE
HeadzUP
Who would care if I passed away
None would dare to even say
Or hint at maybe missing me
To be dead and rotting stiffly
I watch as Death comes rolling down
He plants his feet upon my ground
And beckons me to join his sheep
I'll leave this earth, this time for keeps
The bullet strikes as the sharp edge cuts
No chance to debate, argue, or rebut
Now with the herd I travel swift
Since Death has given me his gift
Who will share my promised fate
Come quickly now before it's too late
I'll take us all so don't you worry
We will all die, and in a hurry
I'll do it willingly, I won't resist
I'll do it now if Death insists
For all those watching let it be known
I died miserable, young, and alone
A FAVOR
To kill a Lark, to kill a bee
If only someone would kill me
The bee at least has honey sweet
The Lark has harmony in his tweet
But in me sweet harmony has long since gone
It's time this body moved along
To someplace better, another realm
Chaos at the planes, Death at the helm
We sail into the darkness eternal
We hope to dodge the scoring inferno
To journey to Oblivion's keep
Where we will find eternal sleep
Here, at last, peace is found
No tastes, no smells, no sight, no sound
Just tranquil bliss among the Greats
Fighting with Time, playing with Fate
Without friend Death this cannot be
That's why someone needs to kill me
HeadzUP
GENERATION'S ANGST
What happened to the sista's ? They used to be happy
Back in the day when their hair was still nappy
Now it's straight and blonde with just a hint of red
Done permed out the puffs, and cut off all the dreads
Grew 6" in a day, but no, "it ain't a weave"
"Yeah, I'm a natural blonde", now who's gonna believe?
And don't try to tell me that's the way God intended
Because then why in the hell did you have to tint it?
Relentless, the pursuit, of looking like the others
And not just the sista's, this goes out to the brothers
Straightening their hair, or even a jheri-curl
Not just in L.A., but all around the world
I hurl, every time I see us in any media
We even get pimped in the damned encyclopedia
And really broth', watch who the hell you call a nigga
White trash? My ass! How dare you call 'em "wiggers"
A double-edged sword, so we still getting stabbed
If ya'll can't see that, then yo, you been had
And need to be dragged at the back of a Mack truck
But not in Texas, or you'll never get back up
Church was burnt down, so you got nowhere to pray
Videotaped your beat down, but the perps got away
OJ got off on murder- this upset the residents
But the score's a million to one- excuse if I'm hesitant
The President's getting head, I can't even get a quickie
CIA pumped in crack so my sista's all look sickly
And hicks be like "You might be ghetto if…"
You kill your own brother for drinking an 1/8th of your 1/5th
And I'm tiffed, because when you put us in the light
From the outside it looks like they were right
The other night, on a train, I was told I'd be next
A death threat by this dude said his name was Bernie Goetz
And yet, I'm told my generation's got rights a-plenty
When even our FBI can't recline at the corner Denny's
How many times must I write these lines?
Every time I'm told to just leave the past behind
Not to whine, but I haven't written like this in a while
But this morning I was stopped 'cause I "fit the profile"
What guile these guys have when they wield a gun
I only had a pager-- Frame-up anyone?
They blamed me for a murder- Some kids in a lake
"Medium-height, medium-build, Black man", oops, mistake!
Quick to point the finger, a whole nation got Got
Rebel flag at the capitol, but a cross-colored allowed not
Who murdered my brothers- Tupac and Biggie Smalls?
Won't tell us they quit looking, they don't have the balls
"They deserved what they got from the lifestyles the led"
Statements like that makes a brother see red
I bled, and I still bleed for all my homies
We all stick together, yet still we feel lonely
The only solution we can find that soothes
Is to turn to some weed, suicide, or booze
We lose, but that was the plan from the start
Solidarity is a long lost art
I could go on about my generation's woes
But I'll sum it up with this- Stay on your toes!
YOUR LAND, MY LAND
"Just say No!" will get you done where I'm from
Who the hell says "no" to someone with a gun?
Better run, before they reload and explode
Or find yourself the new role in the next episode
Of "killing spree on 34th street", damn!
Ain't no miracles here, just another dead man
I'm watching the news unfold before my eyes
I'll say I'm mad, but I'm not surprised
The lies have been told for many years
They want to calm our nerves and ease our fears
But we hear the truth in all its horrors
There is no future, there is no tomorrow
Nothings changed, or they've changed for the worse
Each day in my hood we get to see a new hearse
The killing continues, no one knows who's next up
Running scared like ODB shopping in Jasper Texas
This land ain't your land, but it sure ain't mine
A whole lotta dead reds failed the test of time
And thyne own seeds have, they have gone sour
This land was pimped for you by me!
My church is in cinders, from a long ago fire
No suspects found, no investigation required
I tire, of all the wrong doing against the masses
We turn the other cheek so they keep kicking our asses
Well blast it, it's time we did more than get fed up
You know they listen better when my peeps start to wet up
Riot and loot, pillage, murder, and cause mayhem
The cards have been dealt, it's time for us to play them
And lay them on the table, full house, and a full clip
Burners and cutters, even broke out with a bull whip
Draw and quarter them busters with a badge for a shield
Give em a taste of how the raw steel feels
Make em squeal, shit, they pigs, they've done it before
Surprise an up-rise, now we'll even the score
This land ain't your land, but it sure ain't mine
A whole lotta dead reds failed the test of time
And thyne own seeds have, they have gone sour
This land was pimped for you by me!
"Driving erratic", what kind of nonsense they made up?
"Probable cause" or even worse, "he had a pager"
Only dealers do that, oh yeah and maybe doctors
Lawyers and techs, but your honor I've seen "Clockers"
And "Boys in da hood", "menace to society"
"Juice", "Set it off", and a whole other variety
Of them boys doing dirt, that's all that they good for
Biggie Smalls, Mike Tyson, and Tupac Shakur
Ashes to ashes, we spit in their dust
What'd they do for them? What'll they do to us?
Eazy-e, Big L, Scott la roc, Flo Jo too
None of these cats died with front-page news
But an SNL member? Oh they get a media blitz
And when the princess died, the whole world threw a fit
See this is the shit that makes my blood boil
Even Mother Teresa's moment got foiled
I give up, might as well, I'm sure I'll get took
"Gang related" on my grave, but no one will look
They'll all be in lock up. The system is filthy
They owe us for OJ, next time plead guilty
This land ain't your land, but it sure ain't mine
A whole lotta dead reds failed the test of time
And thyne own seeds have, they have gone sour
This land was pimped for you by me!
CAPONE
HeadzUP
(For now)
This is a repost of another long one:
FAMILY TIES
You heard her cries, she was victimized, sodomized
But in your eyes was only jealousy in disguise
You said she lied, and that she had faked up all her bruises
And if she dies, you'll still think she was just a loser
Because she cruised over on the wrong tracks
The way she acts, you thinking she deserved that
And plus she lacks any sort of self-esteem
You weren't mean, you just wanted her to come clean
Or so it seemed, or so you told the nosy press
when they tried to say that her life was full of rosiness
And that she's blessed with good looks, charm and lots of class
you were crass, quick to point out that she sold her ass
and now at last with no backs left for you to stab
You went to task of finding one of her men to grab
Then you blabbed, went and told the whole freaking town
It got around, now her rapist is hunting you down
You feel clowned, but then again you were the fool
General rule: What you did to her just wasn't cool
Now there's a pool, betting on when you will croak
It gets your goat, that you'll be dying over a silly ho
Hate to rock your boat, but this wasn't just any girl
It was your daughter, welcome to the real world
Child supports sought, but you won't get caught
You know mom's a lying skeez, your kids'll get naught
Back you when fought hard to make the ends meet
She brought some black crack and called it a treat
You got beat, but never again, now you're a free man
Had yourself 15 ho's all in just a weeks span
And damn if that last one wasn't the best of them all
You loved the way she deeped you down to the balls
You mauled her, pawed her, groped her, then roped her
Smacked her around a bit, who cares? She was doped up.
When she came to, ooh, you knew you were through
She said that you had raped her, and you knew it was true
Code blue, call the police, if you know what I mean
She dropped the bomb, huh? She was only Sixteen
It seemed that life was just about to come to a stop
You sodomized the girl, explain THAT to the cops
You dropped to your knees and tried to keep her quiet
But her next bit of news nearly caused another riot
You might get to pay that child support over again
You got her pregnant, but no, fool, that ain't the end
My friend, you seem to be in some real hot water
You raped and impregnated your own damned daughter
You oughtta go out and unleash all your rage
Feeling like a lion trapped in a steel cage
A slave to the system, yeah, "I was set up"
Now you go out to kill because you plain fed up
Don't let up, you beat up the neighborhood fairy
Homophobia, oh yeah, that sure is scary
You're weary to let all the truth be told
You once smoked a pole in the days of old
Oh no? Remember the boy, so innocent and young?
You ruined his life because he was "so well hung"
You brung him into the world of homos and queers
And made grim reality out of your worst nightmares
Over the years you forgot all about that one
That OTHER life you ruined, it was your son
You done? Good, time to meet the right bullet
Aim the gun. See the trigger? Good- now pull it.
Picking up roaches, can't afford a loosie
Need another hit, lucky the lips are still juicy
Excuse me, "Looking for a good time Mister?"
This one liked pain, Mr. Lister fists her
Tits up, ass down, no tears from the start
Pimping yourself has given you a very cold heart
But apart from the pain, at least you get by
Until last night that phrase still applied
You tried to hate her, but then you came to know
Your mom went through all this same crap before
What's more is now the cycle will continue
The last creep didn't care that part of him was still in you
That's how men do, they take, and nope, they never give
After that beat down, you lucky he let you live
Forgive him? Yes, or else you'd just go mad
He didn't recognize you, even though he was your dad
How bad? He was surprised because he didn't realize
You were so appealing because you had his eyes
Your cries went unheard until you spread the word
Remember when he said "Girl, that is just absurd"
The nerve! He knew, girl you know that he knew
That's why when you blew he couldn't take his eyes off of you
Your 'dew, he knew, made you look just like your Mama
That little tidbit only added to the drama
Now I'm a tell you this but I'll tell you only one time
"Incest isn't best", think you can remember that only one line?
You mind? Now let's work on your busted little ego
Mama told you that you'd only be good as a meek ho
But we know, like you know, that she was only jealous
Mad cause in the mall you were attracting all the fellas
Now tell us, why'd you have to go and prove her right?
Pregnant by your father after a hit the other night
Now your plight includes an unborn ghetto bastard
Making the rate of decay in your family go a little faster
You mastered the art of being a drugged out whore
Now you'll be a ghetto mama like the one you had before
Who you swore that you would never imitate
Never be like her, but you see, it's much too late
No escape, now you going out like your brother
Nothing like your dad, and too much like your mother
The other day, from your crew, you had heard the news
At first you were enthused, but then you got the blues
What ensued was a little father-son reunion
More like a rumble with a bothersome conclusion
The two-some went at it like scratchy vs itchy
Your father killed your brother, you got a right to be bitchy
The news was recieved with much elation
You've finally completed rehabilitation
Once facing the threat of self-annihilation
Now tasting the flavor of rejuvenation
Quit wasting your time, go spread the info
Why not start by telling all of your kin folk?
Then go, and clue in all of your old friends
That you'll never be the loser that you were again
Back when your daddy first made you to quiver
He delivered a blow that made a little boy shiver
And didn't give a damn that you weren't a man
But only a boy, and his number one fan
His plan, pure evil, your mind now baffled
At the age of 13 you already got gaffled
A snafu, a mistake, his judgement impaired
Like when he raped your sister and he said he was "scared"
Who cared? Not you, your manhood was through
Who knew what kind of damage that trama would do?
Boo-Hoo, now you're a fairy, things are getting hairy
Ran away from home, streetlife sure is scary
But nary a soul would offer any assistance
Still you struggled on with much persistence
The resistence was mounting, everyday a gay bashing
Yeah, life's a struggle, no sense in rehashing
The trashing of a childhood lost to a demon
Made his own son sample the seeds of his semen
Meaning- let's put that all in a past life
You're lucky to be saved before they read your last rites
All the cat fights, rest stops, and bathhouse meetings
Have come to an end with your psyche's healing
Your feeling hope for the future once more
Your treatment has opened up so many doors
What's in store? Now that your burden's lifted
You can see that you were blessed and truly gifted
You sifted through all the pain, trials, and rough times
Bad memories, and stress caused by your blood lines
Tough minds are forged from life's past tramas
Therapy's complete, put an end to the drama
No mamas, papas, or sisters to burden you
A letter from your dad, he wants a word or two
It's cool, you meet him hoping to rest all the bygones
Release the last of the pain from the years that had piled on
But he riled on, and was he obviously irate
You wanted to bring peace, but he wanted to debate
No escape from the reach and the wrath of a madman
You didn't know before, but meeting him was a bad plan
It's sad, damn, just when you tried to lay demons to rest
Here he comes again bringing you all the stress
So you flexed, you didn't know what he was about
He brought you into this world, and now he took you out
Redeem
A tisket, a tasket, sometimes you ask if
It matters, the pitter patter, in the basket
**I think this is better read not line by line. Rather then
'you ask if'........'it matters' etc. Better to read it,
'you ask if it matters'**
Hearts beating, minds meeting, it's a crap game
Baby fingers, feelings linger, it's a black thang
Devoid of mind, in a grind, such sadness
No soul, body cold, sheer madness
** I prefer to use more words.
''Devoid of mind in a grind surrounded sickening sadness''
''No soul but body cold, shivering quickening madness''**
Where's my baby, going crazy, it's such a rush
Where'd my life go, I think I might go and just flush
Down the drain, another plane, another place
Full of pain, maybe insane, leave the race
**This sounds like a fast spoken verse
due to the vast amount of multi's**
On the brink, lost in a blink, then it's done
On the edge, it's like I'm wedged between two guns
Now they're firing, so very tiring, I want peace
At any price it'd be nice to just cease
Then silence, no more violence, just Earth
No hostility, or instability, a new birth
*Great Line*
So tranquil, I'd be thankful, maybe dance
I'm ready, hands are steady, give me a chance
If I'm lucky I'll find they've stuck me in a grave
*But what about your family? You could continue
talking about you have to survive just to see them again*
Where I can sleep, so very deep, and be saved
**Very nice. First few lines you are not sure what the subject is.
But, it soon reveals itself, ''where's my baby'' your normal life
has been taken away. 'Devoid of mind'' No real need for a mind
in combat, just 'instincts'. If you are on the front line that is.
''On the edge/two guns'' Thoughts of Suicide?
Nice emotion throughout, you want your old life back, not knowing
why you are here. But I would have used more words, its a strong
emotion. To keep the flow it you kept it fast-firing. But I think maybe
you should write it again but elaborate and express more. Maybe 20
words per line...
Redeem...
Redeem
Whisked away before the joy could be shared
Stolen from us and yet no one cared
**Nice opening. Serious from the off...**
No law, no justice, no right, just wrong
You'd think we'd have learned as time went along
**1st line is great to say. but 2nd stretched it. Just
cause the 1st rolled of the tongue so easily...**
Instead we charged on with our hopes up high
To watch in horror our precious dream die
Such a criminal act, a diabolical deed
Cursed are we for we cannot breed
Again we've failed, again we've crashed
The product of our Love refused to last
He slipped away in the dark of night
He took a dive, he lost the fight
Clutching on with a fragile grasp
Silence was broken with a single gasp
All the futures that might have been
Have come to an abrupt and sudden end
He was daddy's "Might," and mommy's "May"
Until that night he slipped away
**Strong line!**
To sleep that sleep of endless slumber
Where sheep are counted in bountiful number
Nestled in Heaven on a cradle of clouds
Our creation, our lives, our Angel's child
**Great. (let me read it again, hold on...)
Is this about losing a child, twice? If so,
why 'no justice/law'?
I've read the 'diabolical' line a few times. My interpretation:
At first it sounds like someone else has taken the child(ren)
from you. But I would say you are referring to 'criminal act'
not in the legal sense, say a 'deed from God for doing this.
'Cursed' sounds like this has happened more then once...**
?
Redeem...
Headz Up
thinks she lost another one, but we don't really have any evidence to
support that.
If so,
> why 'no justice/law'?
It means that it had nothing to do with abortion or any of it's legal
ramifications.
> I've read the 'diabolical' line a few times. My interpretation:
> At first it sounds like someone else has taken the child(ren)
> from you. But I would say you are referring to 'criminal act'
> not in the legal sense, say a 'deed from God for doing this.
I blamed myself for the longest time. We didn't even find out she was
pregnant (We were trying, but the last test was negative) until 5 hours
before they (The doctors) had to remove it. The baby was dead in my
wife's fallopian tubes, and bleeding into her. The blood was causing her
serious pain as it filled up inside of her. (We only went to the Doc
because she complained about pains, then found out she was pregnant).
It's a long fucked up story really. The short of it is this: They had to
remove it and relieve the pressure or my wife would die. They told me
that if I had waited 1 more hour I'd be a bachelor again...
> 'Cursed' sounds like this has happened more then once...**
Not really, but we had been trying to have a kid for nearly 2 years.
(hence the "cannot breed" line)
> ?
>
> Redeem...
This one was personal for obvious reasons. I think if I hadn't written
this at the time I would have lost it. Talk about hip-hop therapy.
--
I'm the spiritual & physical mystical
Rounding off spherical lyrical miracles
You're the typical skeptical spectacle
Hanging on my words and my testicles
-Me ©1998
Headz Up
>
> STABILITY
>
> A tisket, a tasket, sometimes you ask if
> It matters, the pitter patter, in the basket
>
> **I think this is better read not line by line. Rather then
> 'you ask if'........'it matters' etc. Better to read it,
> 'you ask if it matters'**
>
> Hearts beating, minds meeting, it's a crap game
> Baby fingers, feelings linger, it's a black thang
> Devoid of mind, in a grind, such sadness
> No soul, body cold, sheer madness
>
> ** I prefer to use more words.
> ''Devoid of mind in a grind surrounded sickening sadness''
> ''No soul but body cold, shivering quickening madness''**
>
was unstable. My thoughts were "fragmented" so my lines had to be too.
Even with the fragmentation I kept up the cadence.
> Where's my baby, going crazy, it's such a rush
> Where'd my life go, I think I might go and just flush
> Down the drain, another plane, another place
> Full of pain, maybe insane, leave the race
>
> **This sounds like a fast spoken verse
> due to the vast amount of multi's**
Hmmm, actually, this whole thing is about medium pace, which means
nohing if you don't know what my medium pace is...
> On the brink, lost in a blink, then it's done
> On the edge, it's like I'm wedged between two guns
> Now they're firing, so very tiring, I want peace
> At any price it'd be nice to just cease
> Then silence, no more violence, just Earth
> No hostility, or instability, a new birth
> *Great Line*
> So tranquil, I'd be thankful, maybe dance
> I'm ready, hands are steady, give me a chance
> If I'm lucky I'll find they've stuck me in a grave
>
> *But what about your family? You could continue
> talking about you have to survive just to see them again*
>
> Where I can sleep, so very deep, and be saved
>
> **Very nice. First few lines you are not sure what the subject is.
To give you a clue on the first two lines- The pitter-patter in the
basket is your heartbeat... (ooh, a TRUE metaphor)
> But, it soon reveals itself, ''where's my baby'' your normal life
> has been taken away. 'Devoid of mind'' No real need for a mind
> in combat, just 'instincts'. If you are on the front line that is.
> ''On the edge/two guns'' Thoughts of Suicide?
> Nice emotion throughout, you want your old life back, not knowing
> why you are here.
Actually, the problem here is that I know why I'm here, but I don't wan
to be here for ANY purpose. I'm just plain TIRED of living. These were
dark times...
But I would have used more words, its a strong
> emotion. To keep the flow it you kept it fast-firing. But I think maybe
> you should write it again but elaborate and express more. Maybe 20
> words per line...
I could NEVER rewrite this. I wouln't even want to. Just reading these
again are bringing back memories of a time I'd just as soon forget. I'm
getting flashbacks like a motherfucker right now.
>
> Redeem...