Sep 23, Show Summary
Otis
STANDARD DISCLAIMER: This is NOT a transcript. This is a brief summary
of calls which can be used for basing further discussion. To hear the
show point your browser this way http://www.drlaura.com/listen/ But,
you'll need to be a subscriber to her service now. For the ARTD-L FAQ
go to http://www.angelfire.com/journal/artdljunkie/faq.html.
ADMIN: Not in a good mood today. Probably will not be one of my
better efforts.
C1 Monologue. Talks about eating brisket. DL, "You know, I'm kind of
dainty about food. I don't like to over do it." Big plug for Mr.
Pickles Deli and their brisket sandwich.
Talks about the Toogood case. Says they behaved badly in the store
and were escorted out by security. DL, "She's out on bail, which
surprises me." Says she has, "great concern" over the fact that
Toogood is out on bail. Reads letter from a former prosecutor.
Letter writer says the bail has been set unusually low for such a
case. Laura gives out three phone numbers. One for the original
judge, the judge who is currently handling the case, and the Indiana
Commission on judicial somethings to lodge a complaint.
C2 0:25 Abby. DL, "Abby?!?! Abby!?!?! Oh, it helps if you press the
right [button]. I can't believe I did that. How many years have I
been doing this?" She and BF want to get married next year. Says mom
wants them to live together first. She's 20 and in college. Laura
rips her on her English. Laura drudges out statistics. DL, "To keep
out of that 50% [divorce rate], wait." [Um, wasn't she telling a
caller in the last show that statistics are for populations?]
C2 3:55 Tina & Jerry. Married for 6 years. She's 46, he's 56. He
wants to do it three times a week. She wants once or twice about
every other week. Jerry, "So I said, 'Call doctor Laura 'cause she
knows what is healthy.'" DL grilling Tina, "Did you ever like sex
more then you do now?" [Wow, right off the bat it sounds like Laura
is blaming Tina.]
Tina, "I'm tired a lot."
DL, "Tina, that's not an excuse. Because it's your obligation ..."
[Wow! Nothing like setting equal rights back about a 100 years.]
DL, "You have obligations to each other and yours is not too be dull."
DL still railing on Tina, "What have you done to spice it up?"
Tina, "What have I done?"
DL, "Yeah."
Tina, "Why do I have to do anything? Why can't ... <fx cut off by
DL>"
DL, "Because you're one of the two people having sex."
C3 0:25 Continues with Tina & Jerry.
C3 3:30 Kristy. Started seeing someone who her friend said she once
had feelings for. DL, "I wouldn't have done that to my friend."
C3 4:50 Eric. C, "Oh sorry. I didn't hear my name." One year
marriage anniversary is approaching. Says it hasn't been a great
year. How much does he celebrate when he's contemplating separation.
Says there's no sex. She only married him for security and not out of
love. Has a daughter with her. DL, "Frankly, you're staying. You
sacrifice your life for your kid." Laura wants to know the three
behaviours he could control to make things better at home. Confusion
reigns when his cell connections goes bad.
C4 0:20 Ally. Last 3 relationships she has been in have been abusive.
Her parents were never like that. Can't understand why it keeps
happening. She's 27. Was married at 15. Laura has her do a lot of
self reflection. DL, "Meanwhile, you shouldn't be dating." Two kids,
10 & 4 from difernt fathers.
C5 5:50 DL. Reads letter from Tracey. About how great being a SAHM
is. Neighbor kid came over earlier then normal. Overheard the kids
playing house.
C5 Monologue. After a two year lapse, the Birthday Bash has returned,
presented by Home Savings Mortgage in Vegas. [Isn't it ironic that
Ms. Morality will be hosting a party in "Sin City"?] Says you have to
be 21 or older since they will be serving booze. [How many fundies
will she lose on the booze deal? What will Deryk do?]
C5 6:10 Bob. Getting married. She still has contact with the family
who got the baby she gave up for adoption. Do they invite this
family. Laura says no.
C5 7:30 Matthew. C, "I didn't realize I was on the air." Just moved
to Florida. Son dresses a little outrageously. Getting flack from
the neighborhood parents.
C6 0:25 Steve. Daughter invited wife and not he for something for her
(daughter's) son. Daughter says he was always mean to her that's why
he wasn't invited. Laura says go have a talk with the Rabbi. DL,
"It's wrong of your wife to go."
C6 4:00 Lydia. Brother separated from his wife. She's concerned.
Brother is a slacker and hasn't worked all year.
C6 6:30 Brenda. Doesn't like her daughter. C, "... as a human
being." Daughter is a single parent with two kids. In and out of a
lot of relationships. Possible drug usage.
C7 0:25 Continues with Brenda. Says she never like the kid, right
from newborn. Says only had the child because husband wanted it.
Divorced when daughter was two. Always resented her.
C7 4:15 Ellen. Husband had a brain hemorrhage last year. He's doing
well. He gave her a trip with her best friend for some time in Africa
next year. Is she being selfish in going and leaving the kids. DL,
"Yea." Laura says it's a war torn and disease ridden place. Laura
suggests they do something exciting as a family like river rafting.
C8 0:30 Rebecca. Six kids. Eldest is 11, daughter. When daughter
was 9 they got her a dog. Daughter will not take care of the dog as
promised. Wants to threaten her. DL, "There's no reason to threaten
her. She's a small child. And, this is not fair for the dog."
C8 4:05 Renee. Does she have a moral obligation to tell a friend.
Something about what an ex wife said. DL, "And Renee, that would just
be gossiping." Something about matching these two up. Then found out
he wasn't that great of a guy from his ex wife and observations.
Laura, ever jumping to conclusions after grilling her why she would
even fix her friend up with this guy, "So, you just wanted to get her
some sex."
C8 8:05 Aaron. What is more important. Earning a good living or
spending time with the kids. DL says time with the kids. DL, "Too
many men identify themselves with donkeys." [Except she pronounces it
very oddly. Sounds like, "Dunk key"]
C8 10:10 Jane. Daughter graduated university and moved back in while
she's looking for a job. Having a hard time dealing with daughter's
belligerence. Laura says have a chat with her when she's not in one
of her moods.
C9 Monologue. None.
C9 1:05 Phillip. Mom has been on the transplant list for several
months. Received the call to get her transplant. Mom is several
miles away. He's got a family, SAHM, couple of kids. Is he obligated
to go sit with mom. DL, "No." DL, "You have to take care of your
family. That's your first responsibility."
C9 3:30 DL. Tries justifying her stance on family over parents.
Tells some bird and river story. DL, "This must be a Disney story
because there's no mother. <fx laughter>"
C10 0:20 Anna.
C, "I would like to know if I should continue to maintain ... <fx cut
off by DL>"
DL, "Stop! I'm not gonna answer that question. I don't care if you
do or you don't."
Planned a vacation to Cuba. DL, "Why would you want to take a trip to
Cuba ... "
DL trying to be sarcastically funny, "Yeah, because Cuba is such a
scenic spot."
Something about friend's Internet dating so she can find a husband
quickly.
C10 6:05 Lisa. Arguing with husband about his desire to purchase a
third motorcycle. DL, "Why are we on our third motorcycle." First
was destroyed by a cousin. #2 was totaled by an 84 year old man
making a left turn in front of him. DL, "<fx scoff> Sorry, I don't
know what I can do." Laura says he shouldn't be riding since he's
married and has small kids. Laura says take out a 6 million dollar
life insurance policy so she can live real well.
DL, "I can't tell you how to change your man." [What makes this time
any difernt?]
C11 0:30 Kim. Met some old friends that husband grew up with. One of
the friends asked her if husband ever got over the fact that he didn't
have a son. This was news to her husband was upset. DL, "And why
would you ever bring that up with your husband?"
C, "I was just really shocked by this."
DL, "Really!?!? You don't know that most men like having sons? You
never heard that before?"
C11 3:10 Melissa. [ANNOYING VOICE] One son. Ex husband remarried.
At the time of his marriage he also had an affair and fathered a
child. Baby and mother moved back East. Wants to reunite her son and
this other baby. The kids have been pen pals. DL, "I don't need to
know dates times." Ex says to mind her own business and doesn't want
her or the son interacting with the daughter. Laura says he has not
power to keep the son from his half sister. [Wow. This turns into a
train wreck. Laura keeps grilling her. Caller either doesn't
understand the question or doesn't want to answer it. Frustrates
Laura greatly.]
C12 0:30 Abby. Sister asked she and husband to be the Godparents.
Caller doesn't feel too strongly since Sister has been putting it off.
DL, "Why don't you want to be the Godparent? I don't get it."
Investigator Laura makes an appearance with her line of questioning.
Sister is living with a guy, not married. Laura says she can't be the
Godparent – would be supporting sister's ungodly lifestyle.
DL always ready for one last quip, "You know, maybe between studs
she'll actually take care of the paperwork."
C12 5:10 David. C, "Just FYI. You have an incredible support staff."
Married 15 years. She's 45. Wife got her brown belt. He does a lot
of the carrying around of kids. Wife works full time. Scheduling
conflicts. Little time at home in the evenings. DL, "I do all my
physical exertion just after dawn." Says she took her own karate when
Deryk was at school or at dawn. Also says she took private lessons.
[Incredible amount of personal chatting and laughter at the end of the
call. Sickening.]
DL, "You know, age with grace. Do it with dignity."
Otis
Author of "those half assed recaps"
ab...@earthlink.com ab...@aol.com ab...@yahoo.com
ab...@hotmail.com ab...@msn.com ab...@sprint.com
Mr. Red
Oti...@rocketmail.com (Otis) wrote:
> Sep 23
> ADMIN: Not in a good mood today. Probably will not be one of my
> better efforts.
Get in a better mood, OTIS...HOCKEY SEASON begins SOON!
>
> C1 Monologue. Talks about eating brisket. DL, "You know, I'm kind of
> dainty about food.
Lie #1
> I don't like to over do it."
Lie #2
Big plug for Mr.
> Pickles Deli and their brisket sandwich.
Not another B--T Plug.
>
> Talks about the Toogood case. Says they behaved badly in the store
> and were escorted out by security. DL, "She's out on bail, which
> surprises me." Says she has, "great concern" over the fact that
> Toogood is out on bail. Reads letter from a former prosecutor.
> Letter writer says the bail has been set unusually low for such a
> case. Laura gives out three phone numbers. One for the original
> judge, the judge who is currently handling the case, and the Indiana
> Commission on judicial somethings to lodge a complaint.
Like that'll do anything besides interfere with the phone answerer's workday...
>
> C2 0:25 Abby. DL, "Abby?!?! Abby!?!?! Oh, it helps if you press the
> right [button]. I can't believe I did that.
Lie #3
How many years have I
> been doing this?" She and BF want to get married next year. Says mom
> wants them to live together first. She's 20 and in college. Laura
> rips her on her English. Laura drudges out statistics. DL, "To keep
> out of that 50% [divorce rate], wait." [Um, wasn't she telling a
> caller in the last show that statistics are for populations?]
>
> C2 3:55 Tina & Jerry. Married for 6 years. She's 46, he's 56. He
> wants to do it three times a week. She wants once or twice about
> every other week. Jerry, "So I said, 'Call doctor Laura 'cause she
> knows what is healthy.'" DL grilling Tina, "Did you ever like sex
> more then you do now?" [Wow, right off the bat it sounds like Laura
> is blaming Tina.]
>
> Tina, "I'm tired a lot."
> DL, "Tina, that's not an excuse. Because it's your obligation ..."
> [Wow! Nothing like setting equal rights back about a 100 years.]
>
> DL, "You have obligations to each other and yours is not too be dull."
>
> DL still railing on Tina, "What have you done to spice it up?"
> Tina, "What have I done?"
> DL, "Yeah."
> Tina, "Why do I have to do anything? Why can't ... <fx cut off by
> DL>"
> DL, "Because you're one of the two people having sex."
>
> C3 0:25 Continues with Tina & Jerry.
Our Ms. Laura...President of The He-Man Woman Haters Club (THMWHC).
>
> C3 3:30 Kristy. Started seeing someone who her friend said she once
> had feelings for. DL, "I wouldn't have done that to my friend."
Lie #4
>
> C5 Monologue. After a two year lapse, the Birthday Bash has returned,
> presented by Home Savings Mortgage in Vegas. [Isn't it ironic that
> Ms. Morality will be hosting a party in "Sin City"?] Says you have to
> be 21 or older since they will be serving booze. [How many fundies
> will she lose on the booze deal? What will Deryk do?]
Sit by the pool and pick up babes. "I'm Derky Schlessinger and my Mom is
the Famous Multimilionaire Radio Host Dr. Laura Schlessinger and when she
dies I get it all."--Derky
>
> C7 4:15 Ellen. Husband had a brain hemorrhage last year. He's doing
> well. He gave her a trip with her best friend for some time in Africa
> next year. Is she being selfish in going and leaving the kids. DL,
> "Yea." Laura says it's a war torn and disease ridden place. Laura
> suggests they do something exciting as a family like river rafting.
"And that place is full of those stoopid Africans too."--DL
> C9 1:05 Phillip. Mom has been on the transplant list for several
> months. Received the call to get her transplant. Mom is several
> miles away. He's got a family, SAHM, couple of kids. Is he obligated
> to go sit with mom. DL, "No." DL, "You have to take care of your
> family. That's your first responsibility."
"Cut off your mom...Just like I did."--DL
I don't understand why Phillip wouldn't want to help his mom through the
transplant process...
>
> C10 0:20 Anna.
> C, "I would like to know if I should continue to maintain ... <fx cut
> off by DL>"
> DL, "Stop! I'm not gonna answer that question. I don't care if you
> do or you don't."
>
> Planned a vacation to Cuba. DL, "Why would you want to take a trip to
> Cuba ... "
>
> DL trying to be sarcastically funny, "Yeah, because Cuba is such a
> scenic spot."
>
> Something about friend's Internet dating so she can find a husband
> quickly.
I would love to visit Cuba. I know I wouldn't run into Our Ms. laura there.
>
> C10 6:05 Lisa. Arguing with husband about his desire to purchase a
> third motorcycle. DL, "Why are we on our third motorcycle." First
> was destroyed by a cousin. #2 was totaled by an 84 year old man
> making a left turn in front of him. DL, "<fx scoff> Sorry, I don't
> know what I can do." Laura says he shouldn't be riding since he's
> married and has small kids. Laura says take out a 6 million dollar
> life insurance policy so she can live real well.
Make sure it has a Double Indemnity clause involving death on a motorcycle.
>
> DL, "I can't tell you how to change your man." [What makes this time
> any difernt?]
How did you change Derky, Ms. Laura?
>
> DL, "You know, age with grace. Do it with dignity."
"Just like MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"--DL
>
> Otis
> Author of "those half assed recaps"
>
>
> ab...@earthlink.com ab...@aol.com ab...@yahoo.com
> ab...@hotmail.com ab...@msn.com ab...@sprint.com
Official Our Ms. Laura Lie-O-Meter...4 lies
Cheers,
Mr. Red
--
"A dangerous-looking redhead sat languidly at an Adam desk talking into a
pure-white telephone. I went over there and she put a couple of cold-blue
bullets into me with her eyes and then stared at the cornice that ran
around the room."
The Little Sister (1949)
--Raymond Chandler
cmartin
Oti...@rocketmail.com says...
>
>
Thanks, grumpy Otis. Hope your day gets better.
>ADMIN: Not in a good mood today. Probably will not be one of my
>better efforts.
>
>C1 Monologue. Talks about eating brisket. DL, "You know, I'm kind of
>dainty about food. I don't like to over do it."
"Dainty." That's a new word for "anorexic."
>Talks about the Toogood case. Says they behaved badly in the store
>and were escorted out by security. DL, "She's out on bail, which
>surprises me." Says she has, "great concern" over the fact that
>Toogood is out on bail. Reads letter from a former prosecutor.
>Letter writer says the bail has been set unusually low for such a
>case. Laura gives out three phone numbers. One for the original
>judge, the judge who is currently handling the case, and the Indiana
>Commission on judicial somethings to lodge a complaint.
Oh, wow. I'm skipping straight over to the Plain Dealer site. They'd better have
a story on the calls to the courthouse.
>
>C2 0:25 Abby. DL, "Abby?!?! Abby!?!?! Oh, it helps if you press the
>right [button]. I can't believe I did that. How many years have I
>been doing this?"
Too.
>C5 Monologue. After a two year lapse, the Birthday Bash has returned,
>presented by Home Savings Mortgage in Vegas. [Isn't it ironic that
>Ms. Morality will be hosting a party in "Sin City"?]
She goes there for the bead shops.
Says you have to
>be 21 or older since they will be serving booze. [How many fundies
>will she lose on the booze deal? What will Deryk do?]
1. We can only pray.
2. Get in trouble; see No. 1, above.
>C7 4:15 Ellen. Husband had a brain hemorrhage last year. He's doing
>well. He gave her a trip with her best friend for some time in Africa
>next year. Is she being selfish in going and leaving the kids. DL,
>"Yea." Laura says it's a war torn and disease ridden place.
How many African and African-American listeners will she lose as a result of
slapping this label on an entire continent? (Rhetorical question.)
I hope she hears from some African counsels' offices about her tarring.
>C12 5:10 David. C, "Just FYI. You have an incredible support staff."
> Married 15 years. She's 45. Wife got her brown belt. He does a lot
>of the carrying around of kids. Wife works full time. Scheduling
>conflicts. Little time at home in the evenings. DL, "I do all my
>physical exertion just after dawn." Says she took her own karate when
>Deryk was at school or at dawn. Also says she took private lessons.
>[Incredible amount of personal chatting and laughter at the end of the
>call. Sickening.]
She didn't lambaste the wife for not being a SAHM?
>
M is for Malapert
"Otis" <Oti...@rocketmail.com> wrote in message
news:596807af.02092...@posting.google.com...
> Sep 23
> ADMIN: Not in a good mood today. Probably will not be one of my
> better efforts.
Actually it's a good one, and sounds like an entertaining show compared with
other recent ones. Sorry to hear about the not good mood, though.
> C1 Monologue. Talks about eating brisket. DL, "You know, I'm kind of
> dainty about food. I don't like to over do it."
Dainty about food. That's an interesting way of putting it.
> Talks about the Toogood case.
> Letter writer says the bail has been set unusually low for such a
> case.
I wonder what the usual bail for a first-time criminal is, in such a case?
Taking into account that even if she got the longest possible sentence it
would only be 3 years, and that's unlikely even though this case has been
infotainmentized to the max.
> C2 0:25 Abby. DL, "Abby?!?! Abby!?!?! Oh, it helps if you press the
> right [button]. I can't believe I did that. How many years have I
> been doing this?"
> She's 20 and in college. Laura
> rips her on her English.
Which she's been speaking for less time than Laura has been "doing this".
> C2 3:55 Tina & Jerry. Married for 6 years. She's 46, he's 56. He
> wants to do it three times a week. She wants once or twice about
> every other week. Jerry, "So I said, 'Call doctor Laura 'cause she
> knows what is healthy.'"
Translation: "I'm sure she will agree with me."
> DL grilling Tina, "Did you ever like sex
> more then you do now?" [Wow, right off the bat it sounds like Laura
> is blaming Tina.]
Blaming the wife? What a surprise.
> DL still railing on Tina, "What have you done to spice it up?"
> Tina, "What have I done?"
> DL, "Yeah."
> Tina, "Why do I have to do anything? Why can't ... <fx cut off by
> DL>"
> DL, "Because you're one of the two people having sex."
Yeah, and? Why can't the other one of the two people do something
different?
> C3 3:30 Kristy. Started seeing someone who her friend said she once
> had feelings for. DL, "I wouldn't have done that to my friend."
Uh huh. Right.
> C3 4:50 Eric.
> How much does he celebrate when he's contemplating separation.
> Says there's no sex.
> DL, "Frankly, you're staying. You
> sacrifice your life for your kid." Laura wants to know the three
> behaviours he could control to make things better at home.
Not ask her for sex?
> C6 6:30 Brenda. Doesn't like her daughter. C, "... as a human
> being." Daughter is a single parent with two kids. In and out of a
> lot of relationships. Possible drug usage.
>
> C7 0:25 Continues with Brenda. Says she never like the kid, right
> from newborn. Says only had the child because husband wanted it.
> Divorced when daughter was two. Always resented her.
Was this call on the level? Because it sounds like a set-up: Brenda maybe
shouldn't have had kids, should have had an abortion, should have given
custody to her husband, etc. - all things PhDL opposes.
> C7 4:15 Ellen. Husband had a brain hemorrhage last year. He's doing
> well. He gave her a trip with her best friend for some time in Africa
> next year. Is she being selfish in going and leaving the kids. DL,
> "Yea."
I hope TJ's (wife's?) theory - that people only call Laura to affirm what
they already want to do - is correct. Because it would be a shame to miss a
trip like that on account of PhDL's absurd paranoia.
> Laura says it's a war torn and disease ridden place.
The entire continent?
> Laura
> suggests they do something exciting as a family like river rafting.
This despite having seen "Deliverance"? Ironic choice, since taking a trip
to Africa is probably safer than river rafting:
http://www.raft.org/fatal.html
Then this:
"A rash of recent fatalities requires a hard look at river rafting
adventures.
"A 78 year old woman dies while on a river rafting tour on the Guadalupe
River in New Braunsfels, Texas. The river was running unusually high and she
fell out of the raft while the tour group was navigating Dogleg Rapids and
had a heart attack.
"A family from Kentucky rents a raft and gets a private permit from the BLM
to take a self guided trip down the swollen Colorado River in Utah. Before
the day is over, one man is dead from drowning.
"Just a day later in Alaska, two woman drown while on a commercial rafting
tour on the Nenana River outside of Denali National Park. The raft they were
on flipped over into the subfreezing fast moving water. Despite efforts to
save them, both women got sucked down a whirlpool in front of 18 horrified
tourists.
"One year to the day of the drowning deaths in Alaska a 43 year old
Massachusetts woman got sucked down into a whirlpool while navigating a
river in an inflatable kayak with a commercial tour group. It was her fifth
time she had been thrown from her rig that day. Despite four previous close
calls her luck ran out and she could not be revived.
"A man on a commercial rafting tour on the Arkansas River in Colorado was
thrown from his raft when it was tipped in a hydraulic which held him under
water. Despite the fact the river was running very low due to severe drought
conditions the man died from drowning after being recovered by a guide."
http://www.outdoorplaces.com/Features/Paddle/raft_danger/index.html
> C8 8:05 Aaron. What is more important. Earning a good living or
> spending time with the kids. DL says time with the kids. DL, "Too
> many men identify themselves with donkeys." [Except she pronounces it
> very oddly. Sounds like, "Dunk key"]
She started to say "Coal miners" and had to switch?
> C9 1:05 Phillip. Mom has been on the transplant list for several
> months. Received the call to get her transplant. Mom is several
> miles away. He's got a family, SAHM, couple of kids. Is he obligated
> to go sit with mom. DL, "No." DL, "You have to take care of your
> family. That's your first responsibility."
So that he can't even GO SIT WITH HIS MOTHER??? C'mon. Like Laura wouldn't
be totally crying her eyes out with devastation if Derky refused to sit with
her for a while in the hospital after she had that kind of surgery.
> C9 3:30 DL. Tries justifying her stance on family over parents.
It's impossible because it's just fucking absurd, ridiculous, unloving,
callous, hateful, and not something normal human beings (as opposed to
cartoon animals) are ever going to accept.
> C11 0:30 Kim. Met some old friends that husband grew up with. One of
> the friends asked her if husband ever got over the fact that he didn't
> have a son. This was news to her husband was upset.
> C, "I was just really shocked by this."
> DL, "Really!?!? You don't know that most men like having sons? You
> never heard that before?"
To the point that they are "upset" enough to have trouble getting over it
and their friends are aware of it? No, I hadn't heard that most men feel
that way.
> C11 3:10 Melissa. [ANNOYING VOICE] One son. Ex husband remarried.
> At the time of his marriage he also had an affair and fathered a
> child. Baby and mother moved back East. Wants to reunite her son and
> this other baby.
> Laura says he has not
> power to keep the son from his half sister
And yet it's verboten to keep in touch with adopted siblings. Go figure...