Making the case for teen marriages
Steve Dufour
WETZSTEIN: Making the case for teen marriages
Cheryl Wetzstein
Sunday, October 5, 2008
I recently wrote about the issue of teen marriage in light of the
brouhaha over Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's 17-year-old daughter Bristol,
who is pregnant and planning to marry the baby's 18-year-old father.
In my round of interviews exploring the pros and cons of marrying
young, I got quite a lengthy response from Pastor Mark Gungor about
the foolishness of advocating "delayed matrimony" for all.
Certainly, people should take time to find a mate they feel connected
to and compatible with, says Mr. Gungor, author of "Laugh Your Way to
a Better Marriage," published this year.
"That being said, I think finding someone to journey with in marriage
is the slenderest part of a life-long relational journey," he writes.
"A great marriage is mostly about two people committing to each other
and then employing principles such as love, acceptance, patience,
forgiveness, sacrifice and unselfishness, to enrich that committed
relationship."
In an e-mail conversation with me, Mr. Gungor makes a case for
marrying young with the following observations:
Cheryl Wetzstein
• "Some of the most successful marriages in the world started with two
teenagers. Indeed, it is difficult to reach 75 years of marriage if
one waits till he is 30 to say 'I do' - you're pretty much dead by
then."
• "Even biology challenges us to rethink delayed marriage. According
to U.S. researchers who analyzed census data and information from
genealogical records, children born when their mothers were under 25
were almost twice as likely to live to their 100th birthday and
beyond, and University of Chicago husband-and-wife team Dr. Leonid
Gavrilov and Dr. Natalia Gavrilova have shown that first-born children
live longer than their younger siblings. It appears the two are
linked, with older children living longer because their mothers are
younger when they have them."
• "Studies have also shown that it takes longer for older men to
conceive. Starting in their 20s, men face steadily increasing chances
of infertility. ... 'We [now] know the probability for certain types
of DNA damage goes up with age, and we can give you a mathematical
probability,' said Andrew Wyrobek," a researcher at the Lawrence
Livermore National Laboratory in California.
• "'The traditional markers of manhood - leaving home, getting an
education, starting a family and starting work - have moved downfield
as the passage from adolescence to adulthood has evolved,' says
Michael Kimmel, author of 'Guyland.' For instance, in 1960, almost 70
percent of men had reached these milestones by the age of 30; today,
less than a third of males can say the same."
• "We know that sexual activity before marriage increases the
likelihood of a divorce. We also know that couples who live together
also have an even higher rate of divorce. But then we tell young
people today that they should wait till they are almost 30 to marry -
an age that will most likely guarantee they will have been already
sexually active or even living with someone."
• "Mormons bring an interesting perspective to marriage. Only 6
percent of those who follow the demands surrounding a temple marriage
end up in divorce. ... Leaders claim it's that the church requires the
candidates for marriage to be people of character - people who stick
to their commitments of love and of asking for help if they need it.
What is so striking is that many of these marriages happen between
couples still in their teens!"
• "Those who delay marriage (and subsequently child-rearing) are
denying themselves one of the greatest joys men and women have
cherished for millennia - to participate in the lives of their
grandchildren."
• "No matter what the statisticians say, marriages do not fail because
of age, money or education. ... Marriages fail for one reason and one
reason only - one or both people become selfish. To imply that young,
poor or high-school graduates are incapable of real commitment is an
insult. I find it curious that we have young, poor high-school
graduates fighting for our interests overseas with great commitment -
some giving the very last measure of commitment by sacrificing their
very lives for their fellow soldiers."
• "Someday historians will write of the end of Western civilization. I
am sure that our propensity for selfishness and narcissistic behaviors
is what they will point to as the reason for our demise. Advocating
for delayed marriage will be just one more reason we will succeed in
destroying ourselves from within."
Day Brown
cisc...@gmail.com
> http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2008/oct/05/making-the-case-for-t...
Mr Gunger is erroneous in several of his claims.
DNA Damage does NOT generally come from a fertility issue,
but rather a Health issue, mostly on the part of the Mother.
Marriage at an early age has it's own set of problems.
One of which is being emotionally, and mentally mature
enough to handle such a close relationship. Another
of which is being financially stable in order to afford
marriage.
I see nothing wrong at all with young people wanting to
wait before making such a commitment. Let them pursue
their careers first, and then be that much more successful
when they finally do get married and have children.
Let's face it, people who marry in their teens, are often
too overburdened with poverty to properly educate
and raise their children. Look at all the Moms on welfare
as a statistical example. Are we wanting to grow sheeple,
or or people?
Thanks for the post!
Frank Arthur
to the nutcase below!
"Steve Dufour" <stevej...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
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