On Jan 27, 9:37 pm, 2875 Dead <d...@gone.com> wrote:

As someone with Mormon ancestry (though I was raised by protestant
UCCist parents), I know all about the Mormon practice of "baptism of
the dead."

Anyone who is a fan of "South Park" knows that only Mormons go to
Heaven, which is why every time Satan kicks Saddam out of Hell he
keeps coming back -- 'Where else was I gonna go, Detroit?'.  The
problem is that Mormonism is a fairly young religion, and no one born
prior to Joseph Smith's "revelation" in the 1820s could have heard The
Word of the Angel Moron.  Thus, anyone born before Mormonism spread
The Word would be doomed to Hell, except that Mormon theology has a
loophole wider than Versace's sphincter -- "Baptism of the Dead."

Mormonism is all about family -- the largest family possible -- and
all family members will meet up in Heaven after they die.  Since one's
ancient ancestors can't go to Heaven because they lived and died
before Smith's divine revelation in 1823, they must be "baptized" in
Moron's name, so that they will be waiting in Heaven to receive their
21st-century descendents when they die.  As a result, Mormonism is
absolutely *OBSESSED*  with genealogy, the reason I am so familiar
with my own Mormon heritage.

Of course, I don't believe any of this.  But the important thing here
is that leftards -- Zepp included -- denounced certain Republican
presidential candidates for suggesting that Mormons were not "real"
Christians.  I recall Zepp quacking something about "bigotry" and
"religious intolerance," though as Zepp now concurs, Mormon theology
has NOTHING in common with conventional Christian theology.  Mormonism
may DESCRIBE itself as "Christian," but then so does Scientology and
Aum Shinrikyo (the Japanese nerve-gas cult).

My Methodist grandmother (who married my Mormon grandfather shortly
before WWII) used to tell me of visits from his sister and other
siblings from Colorado.  While they were visiting, my grandmother
washed their clothes -- all except for their "holy underwear," which
my grandmother was forbidden to wash because she wasn't a "saint."
This "holy underwear" is more commonly referred to as "temple
garments," and is required to be worn when entering a Mormon temple.

While Mormon temples look very much like Catholic cathedrals, they are
VERY, VERY different.  A Catholic cathedral is just a large church
that can seat thousands for a single service, whereas a Mormon temple
is actually an office building with thousands of rooms, each hosting a
wedding, baptism of the dead, or whatever other ceremonies Mormonism
requires to be conducted within temples.  Another major difference is
that not just ANY riff-raff can enter a Mormon temple: only those with
"Temple Cards," which the receptionist checks against a computerized
database to verify that their donations are paid up (Mormonism levies
a MANDATORY 10% income tax on members, and those who don't pay don't
get into the temple, much less go to Heaven)

Many leftards and rightards alike insulted Jon Huntsman's Mormon
heritage, but nobody asked the obvious question: whether he possesses
a Temple Card.  Mitt Romney probably does have a Temple Card, making
him a "real" Mormon, but he obviously wants to downplay it -- given
that evangelical ("real") Christians consider Mormons to be
"Satanic."  (I'm Satanic myself, and I resent the comparison of a
mindcontrol cult to a philosophy that encourages free thought.)

I predict that the same leftards who previously stuck their
progressive noses into the Republican primary campaign to denounce
critics of (Huntsman's) Mormonism as "bigots" will become the
*BIGGEST* anti-Mormon bigots once Mitt Romney wins the GOP
nomination.  It doesn't take Miss Cleo to predict this, since I myself
personally saw the most vicious, insulting, anti-Mormon propaganda
displayed at the Proposition 8 protest rally in San Francisco in
2008.  (The stoopid leftards kept attacking polygamy, unaware that the
"mainstream" LDS sect that funded Prop. 8 officially renounced
polygamy a century before.)  Ironically, they wound up alienating the
splinter FLDS sect -- which still practices polygamy -- and which
would have made a natural ally in the fight to legalize same-sex
marriage).

But all in all, Mormons are decent people.  While their beliefs are
silly and many can be personally annoying, I doubt any of you would
feel fearful of a group of young Mormon men behind you as you walked
down the street.  Property values do not decline as Mormons move into
a new neighborhood.  Even the most devout young Mormons are not
inclined to blow up airplanes and skyscrapers in Moron's name.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ok-rhTZK0kE

[Try slamming the door in a Muslim missionary's face.]