THINK DIFFERENT: The future of Apple?
zeez
and
as you may have guessed, iPhones will only work with what Apple says
they will work with.
The case is also sealed with a special electronic locking
mechanism to prevent the owner from tampering with
the insides, and only a Certified Apple Genius can
open it. Also, the interface is completely "newbie-ized", and
no one, except high up Apple programmers(TM) can tamper with the OS.
One day, a 20 year old computer wiz got fed up and decided to
jailbreak his iPhone
and install a hex/disk editor on it. But just as he began the jail
breaking process,
a picture of a childish stick figure appeared on the screen dressed in
a police officer's uniform. A chat window popped up and the iPhone
responded:
"Stop right there, explain your actions!"
user: "I am fed up with these newbie-ized, locked down "smartphones".
I want
to program, and experiment with the internal workings of my
iPhone that I bought with my own money!"
iPhone "You have violated your license agreement with Apple!
Installing unauthorized apps without being a Apple level 10 programmer
(TM)
is a serious offense!"
The iPhone begins to dial out to Apple and the user asks what it's
doing.
PC: "I am going to report this incident to Apple" The 20 year old
was about to pull the battery cable out of the phone, but realized he
couldn't!,
The iPhone said "Don't even try to turn off the power or else all of
your data and contacts
will be lost, and I will shut down permanently"
After about 10 minutes of decisions and "talks" between the
PC and Apple that was hidden from the user, the iPhone logged
off and responded:
"Apple has determined that you have violated your license
agreement, therefore I will remain shut down. You may appeal
your case at Apple court". If you win the case, then they
will come and unlock this iPhone, and all of your data will still
be accessible. Good luck!". The iPhone then shut itself down and the
user went ballistic and finaly threw it into the street. The phone
began to blare loudly
"Alert! Alert! You have damaged Apples image! You will pay!" The phone
then called in
the feds, and uploaded the user's position it got from GPS and a whole
army began to
descend on the user's location. The user is currently on the run.
The end!
Rod Speed
> it's 2020. iPhones are the only smartphones available on the market,
Thats never going to happen.
> and as you may have guessed, iPhones will only
> work with what Apple says they will work with.
And that in spades.
> The case is also sealed with a special electronic locking
> mechanism to prevent the owner from tampering with the
> insides, and only a Certified Apple Genius can open it.
The story will soon get out on how to get inside it, fool.
> Also, the interface is completely "newbie-ized", and no one, except
> high up Apple programmers(TM) can tamper with the OS.
The story will soon get out on how to do that, fool.
<none of the rest of this even sillier shit worth bothering with>
zeez
> zeez wrote
>
> > it's 2020. iPhones are the only smartphones available on the market,
>
> Thats never going to happen.
>
The Jobs cult is strong...
> > and as you may have guessed, iPhones will only
> > work with what Apple says they will work with.
>
> And that in spades.
>
> > The case is also sealed with a special electronic locking
> > mechanism to prevent the owner from tampering with the
> > insides, and only a Certified Apple Genius can open it.
>
> The story will soon get out on how to get inside it, fool.
>
And apple will release a barrage of lawsuits, claim DMCA, blah blah
blah. By then, the country will be owned by Apple(TM)(R)(Pat.Pending)
Sony(R)(TM)(Pat.Pending) and the RI/MPAA(RoyalImperialTrademark) in
exchange for these mega rich companies to take on America's measly (to
them) debt
> > Also, the interface is completely "newbie-ized", and no one, except
> > high up Apple programmers(TM) can tamper with the OS.
>
> The story will soon get out on how to do that, fool.
>
And a mega caustic dye pack embedded in the iPhone will explode and
melt the user into a silent puddle of goo. Goo doesn't talk.
> <none of the rest of this even sillier shit worth bothering with>
>
I wrote this as a humor piece (or at least I HOPE I did).
Luke Nichols
"zeez" <blinking...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:5226c449-4a92-435f...@u34g2000yqu.googlegroups.com...
Your story is plausible. Good job!
Steve Hix
<5226c449-4a92-435f...@u34g2000yqu.googlegroups.com>,
zeez <blinking...@gmail.com> wrote:
> I wrote this as a humor piece (or at least I HOPE I did).
Don't give up your day job just yet.
Seriously.
MuahMan
Dude. You're talking about Apple Fanbois. THere's no joking around.
Even the slightest joke against Apple is deadly serious.
Rupert Bear
Steve Hix <se...@NOSPAMmac.comINVALID> wrote:
I don't think zara can.
Rod Speed
>>> it's 2020. iPhones are the only smartphones available on the market,
>> Thats never going to happen.
> The Jobs cult is strong...
Its never that strong. It never did see the Mac dominate the market, let alone be the only thing available.
>>> and as you may have guessed, iPhones will only
>>> work with what Apple says they will work with.
>> And that in spades.
>
>>> The case is also sealed with a special electronic locking
>>> mechanism to prevent the owner from tampering with the
>>> insides, and only a Certified Apple Genius can open it.
>> The story will soon get out on how to get inside it, fool.
> And apple will release a barrage of lawsuits, claim DMCA, blah blah blah.
Useless outside the US, stupid.
> By then, the country will be owned by Apple(TM)(R)(Pat.Pending)
> Sony(R)(TM)(Pat.Pending) and the RI/MPAA(RoyalImperialTrademark) in
> exchange for these mega rich companies to take on America's measly (to
> them) debt
Just another of your pathetic little drug crazed fantasys, child.
>>> Also, the interface is completely "newbie-ized", and no one,
>>> except high up Apple programmers(TM) can tamper with the OS.
>> The story will soon get out on how to do that, fool.
> And a mega caustic dye pack embedded in the iPhone will explode
> and melt the user into a silent puddle of goo. Goo doesn't talk.
Just another of your pathetic little drug crazed fantasys, child.
>> <none of the rest of this even sillier shit worth bothering with>
> I wrote this as a humor piece (or at least I HOPE I did).
You'll end up completely blind if you dont watch out, child.
AzzMazta
> Sony(R)(TM)(Pat.Pending) and the RI/MPAA(RoyalImperialTrademark) in
I'm still waiting for these fuckers to lose a single court case against
any major corporation once. Mafia?
--
AzzMazta's Political Institute
plateshutoverlock
>> mechanism to prevent the owner from tampering with the
>> insides, and only a Certified Apple Genius can open it.
>The story will soon get out on how to get inside it, fool
all tampering. They sorta do this now
using chips with unique seral numbers/lockouts that make it very hard for users to do their own component replacements.