FNN: Carla Bruni Becomes Empress, Conquers Europe

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This just in from the Future News Network:

----FUTURE NEWS NETWORK----05/15/2018----

Carla Bruni becomes Empress of France after being freely elected
following the term of Nicolas Sarkozy. Falling for a foreign-born
cutie and allowing the leader to become a dictator as they did with
Napolean Bonerpart, the French grow balls and follow Bruni as she
conquers first Western and Eastern Europe and then invades Russia.
Once again, the Russians try to pull their "scorched earth" and "dead
of winter" policies to debilitate and defeat the invaders. However,
due to global warming and pizza delivery, this time, the strategy
fails. Bruni conquers Russia and is now said to have her sights on
Japan, Mongolia and China.

----end transmission----