To our friends in the Red States
Lubow
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking
the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes
California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois
and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation,
and especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas , Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty,
You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard.
You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue,
You get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian
Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and
we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people
to fight, ask your evangelicals.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the
country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92
percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you
can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of
the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods,
sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford , Cal
Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of
all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all
U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the
hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all
televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University , Clemson and the University
of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually
swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing
the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory,
53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy
bastards believe you are people with higher morals than we lefties.
Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow
in Mexico
Peace out,
Blue States
#1 Donkey
Fish
GOP exists because of falsified ideology, spot light on upper class
promise, thus creates hope for 75 IQers as the base (bottom) of
pyramid scheme. this country no longer afford imaginary boundary, can
we just vote for a person who can do the job instead of his political
identity?
Kickin' Ass and Takin' Names
"Fish" <yellowt...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:6c252119-fec6-4017...@f37g2000pri.googlegroups.com...
BUT WAIT A GODDAM MINUTE -- THEY'LL GET THE WILD TURKEY AND JACK DANIELS
DISTILLERIES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We can't waste good liquor on the
red state mouth breathers !!!!!!!!!!!
Lubow
> BUT WAIT A GODDAM MINUTE -- THEY'LL GET THE WILD TURKEY AND JACK DANIELS
> DISTILLERIES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We can't waste good liquor on the
> red state mouth breathers !!!!!!!!!!!
>
>
They're so stupid from hookworm infestation that they will never know they're
gone.