Graham has asked, nicely, for the truth. I *always* tell the truth, as
I've said many times before. This time is no different!
On the third of January 2012, I was notified by email of a new 'Blog'
article written by the psychotherapist I'd met on her narrowboat some
while back, Sue Brayne. This is what she had to say:-
Well, here we are at the start of 2012. Normally I wouldn’t hesitate in
wishing everyone a Happy New Year. But somehow I can’t bring myself to
use the word ‘happy’. Not when we are confronted by such global
uncertainty.
Yet on a twelve miles walk yesterday across magnificent Cotswold
countryside it was easy to forget the seriousness of what humanity is
facing. Thank goodness for that. I think the human spirit can take so
much gloom and despondency before it innately begins to seek out
something to soothe and calm the soul.
The walk certainly did that for me. It always makes me marvel to know –
and trust – that the untidy mess of mouldy undergrowth and all those
tight brown buds on skeletal branches will turn within not-so-many weeks
into verdant hedgerows and flourishing trees.
For me, this cycle of life and death is truly miraculous and
hope-filled. So hope-filled that when I returned home, I updated my
living will (also known as Advanced Decision). This clearly states that
I do not wish to receive life prolonging treatments or to be
resuscitated if and when my quality of life deteriorates beyond what is
acceptable to me. This includes dementia related illnesses. It was
witnessed by a close friend, with a willing and enthusiastic flourish of
her pen. That is what I call a New Year present.
Setting aside the current cross-party political debate about who is
going to pay for end-of-life care for increasing numbers of elderly
people, I believe that taking personal responsibility for how I want to
end my life is the most significant decision I can make for my family,
and, indeed, for society as a whole.
Dying back in the natural world is about clearing away the ‘old’ to make
room for the new. It is also about dead vegetation creating rich
compost for fresh life to thrive.
Unfortunately it appears that humanity is hell-bent on trying to cheat
this fundamental law of nature. But it won’t work. Nature is already
fighting back, in ways that we can’t – or don’t want to – imagine.
So my 2012 New Year wish is for us all to stop chasing the illusive
state of happiness. Rather, I wish for us to learn to embrace and
accept our mortality. By doing so, maybe we can experience what it feels
like to truly give back to each other.
* In response, @12:38 I commented on her Blog page: I said "I’d be
interested to hear your views on this article, Sue":-
http://www.aish.com/sp/pg/Top_Five_Regrets_of_the_Dying.html
(I'd read same just a day or so beforehand)
*
She answered:-
sbrayne
Jan 03, 2012 @ 14:24:38
I agree with everything apart from choose happiness. In my own
experience, I’m not sure we can choose to be happy as a permanent state
of being. I think we can choose to improve our lives, so we can feel
more peaceful with who we are, and what we do. That leads to contentment.
By knowing life in the way I do, it seems we are constantly facing a
state of emotional and spiritual flux. As Buddha said, no matter how
good or bad things may seem, ‘this too will pass.’ I like that. It makes
me appreciated the moment for what it is. For me, life is about making
peace with myself so, as Bronnie Ware points out, when I am on my
deathbed, I can accept my death without regrets.
S x
**
In the meantime, I'd made my post about 'The Top Five Regrets of The
Dying" on Scorched-Earth. This is a subject which will touch us all,
sooner or later - we *are* all going to die!
Perhaps older readers here will appreciate that every year passes
quicker than the one before - in the whole scheme of things we'll be
long gone in the mere blink of an eye. We *will* all die - and soon.
As the Aish article endeavoured to explain, it's best that we make the
most of the short time which we *do* have. It's very simple really.
How SeaNymph chose to *interpret* my words was her affair.
As FTR will vouch, I'm sure, I always chose my words with care.
HTH
Dave